Podcast Carolyn: How to be a Happy Mompreneur
5:37PM Nov 2, 2021
Welcome to Business and happiness podcast. I'm your host Braco Pobric. This episode is sponsored by life Success Academy, a place where you recreate your business and personal happiness. My guest today is Carolyn King, business owner, positive psychology master coach and Kinesiologist.
Hello, Carolyn. How are you?
I'm really well, Braco. So how are you?
I'm doing great. Good to see you this early morning in your part of the world.
Yes. And you're later getting a mid evening for you in your part of the world?
Yes, yes. 7pm. Almost my sleep time.
No, no. Yeah, look, it's isn't a great day. You love this technology that allows us to be able to have these chats at different times.
It really, really is amazing really is amazing. Here, I was thinking we talk today about, you know, being a happy mompreneur. You know, you have your own business for many years, you have a two children, 14 and 15 and a half, right? Oh, sorry, Jordan is 14 and Ollie is 15 and a half. And that really juggling all these things and having a successful business. And your business is basically, in your home. I know it's a separate room, a separate interests and everything. But basically, it still kind of home, which sometimes makes it easier, but in a lot of ways makes it also difficult, because you don't kind of separate yourself. And I know that because I've had many businesses that they were part of my home going back to 30 years ago, today in a different shape or form. So yeah, let's talk about it. There are so many moms who want to do or are trying to do what you are doing. But it but it's hard. It's hard. So it's I wanted to talk to you about that.
It can be hard. And I think it's that juggling of how much time do I spend with my kids? And what do I need to do for my kids and my family? And how much time do I spend in my business. But I think I've learned that happy mom
creates a happy life.
Yes. And I've also learnt that I wanted to start a business and follow my dreams, because I wanted to inspire my children to follow this. And I grew up in a traditional European family,
do school, go to university get a job? Well, that's sort of when I decided not to go to university I didn't get in but decided not to that sort of put a kink in dad's idea of where I was going to go in life. But I still ended up in a traditional job, which was great. But for many years, I wasn't really happy and fulfilled. And I didn't want my kids to have that same life, I wanted them to know that they could do anything. And not many families grow up knowing that owning your business is an option. Many families grew up. I don't know about you, but I know, family, you know, you go to you go to school, you go to university or college, and then you get a job and you work for someone and that's your job. And if you stay there for 40 years, well done, you get your pension, see later.
Exactly the same way I grew up, I actually just the other day I wrote an article which I'll be publishing few days exactly about that, you know, difference between back then, you know, having a job for 40 years and retire. Versus today. What we do today, it's it's Yeah, and that's the funny thing, you know, I wanted my kids to know they could do anything. And that that's probably the driving force for me really pushing myself in my business, that and also it does feed my soul. And I think when it feeds your soul, when it's something that you are so passionate about doing, it's no longer a job and you know that sign. So when you love what you do, you won't work a day in your life. Because it's not work. It's, it's fun. And that's what I want to teach my kids that work doesn't have to be boring and mundane. It can be something you truly enjoy. And that you can change that you don't have to be stuck in a job for 40 years. I was an accountant for so many years, you know and now I'm doing coaching in kinesiology which is totally different. You don't have to sit stay in the same job and I think they say the youth of today are going to go through five or six job changes. So all of that, I think is what really encouraged me to follow my dream plus a really supportive husband. I do have to give him a shout out because he is very supportive.
Yeah, that I mean, that certainly is is important is very important as well. Um, so How do you juggle, you know, going from from the time you wake up to all the things that you still do as a mom successfully and happily, and, and do this, although I know as you said, this is you know what I would say just true calling for you just like what I do now is not the job I do this Saturday, Sunday, Monday, I don't really care. There is no more weekends. For me, it's just time off whenever I want to take off. That's it. But otherwise, you know, it's just not the job. So that's I think that's really key that you that you created that for yourself and for your family. And guarantee. I do want to mention when you said, you know, happy mom happy family just reminded me on my mom and my family, because that's exactly what she created. She was happy mom that really truly created happy family. And thanks for reminding me that important that is? So yeah, what how do you juggle all of that? And, you know, and then and then maybe next thing is, you know, what do we recommend the moms to how they're going to be be happy and create a happy family?
I think for me, I've over the years, I've learned that I there were many times I had to make a decision. Did I want to when I was doing things for the kids, is it a chore? Or is it something I'm happy to do for them. And I've realized that being a mom is a privilege. I'm so blessed to have two beautiful kids. It took a long time, we struggled to fall pregnant with our first so I know how difficult it feels to not have children. And then falling pregnant and going through depression then brought my emotions down. So over the years, I've learned to appreciate and respect the time I get to spend with them. So I want to be there for them. I'm happy to make their lunches in the morning and drive them wherever I need to drive them. And trust me when I say have very active children, my son plays soccer and basketball. My daughter is a dancer, a singer, a performer. So we're all over the place with with lessons and rehearsals and all sorts of things, competitions, dance competitions. I remember many years ago, sitting in one of those dance competitions and saying to myself, I could be annoyed and bored right now. Or I could choose to go you know what I'm spending time with my daughter, and this is awesome. And it was then that I realized that change in when I spend time with my kids, I spend time with my kids. But because and that's important because I don't want to feel guilty when I spend time in my business.
It's quality that's important. And I love making their lunches, I love driving them around. Like I said, When we drive in the car, that's probably when we have our best conversations. I love being there for them. I you know, I love washing their clothes. And, you know, when I say I love it, I for me, it's it's not a chore. It's just it's, I'm so blessed to have them in my life. And I think that's the key. When you see them as a blessing, then everything works out and and you're able to manage what you do. So I'm able to come in here. And when I'm running the business, my kids, thankfully now they're old enough that if the door shut, or right mom's with a client or Mom's doing something, please don't interrupt it. They're pretty good like that. So it was a bit harder when they were younger. But I've learned to juggle and the benefits are awesome. Because if when they were younger, and I was sick at home, I could still work. And, you know, I don't have to I can manage my clients around their activities, which is sometimes difficult because I need to know where they are all the time so that I know when to pick him up. But there are so many benefits as well. So for me, it's a blessing. It's a privilege.
Yeah, you know, I really I love your approach. I it's just so beautiful. Like you said, you're taking kids everywhere doing all of this and making him lunch. It's not a chore. It's something that you love to do. And I mean, that statement, I think, does it always. So it's all about seriously, I mean, you, you said it all in that one statement. If people can just take that statement, that's a they will change their life. Truly.
It's really about mindset, it's about how you see the world. And I don't see them as holding me back. I see all this time as precious time I have with them. I see what I do, as I said, to inspire them to think outside the box to follow whatever their dreams are. And I know that when they get older, I'll have even more time to spend in my business. And that's great. And when that happens, I'll be there for that. And then when they have kids, I'll be there for that. So there is no time limit on how fast I need to do this or how successful I need to be right now. Because I think we've mentioned in other podcasts if you focus on the money, it doesn't work. It's about serving and whether I'm serving my clients or whether I'm serving My kids, and I need to serve myself. So let's not forget that we need our own time we need our own self care time. It all falls into place.
So, yes, you need to serve yourself. And it all starts from there, right? Taking care of yourself, what do you do to take care of yourself so that you then you can take care of your family and your business.
I call it play. I'm a big believer in play, play, meaning something fun. So sometimes it'll be having a nice long hot bath. I definitely meditate every day, I get out, I try to move everyday. So getting out for a walk or getting up early and meditating. I love to read. And I love to create. So sometimes it might be writing, sometimes it might be just doodling and drawing. I'm always learning something new. So for me, my self care is actually also learning I love learning new things. So it's, it's whatever I feel like I want to do at that time, and it changes, I'll be honest with you, it's not the same thing all the time. If I feel like I need a sleeping, I honor that, and I go, Alright, I need a sleeping right now. You know, my body needs a break. I'm not one of those people that says or I need to get up at this time and meditate and exercise and do this every day. Some days don't work out that day as a mum, things are all over the place Sunday. So some days I'll go right I can't do this right now. I do meditate every morning, even if it's only a few minutes just to get my day started. But everything else can is a little bit flexible. I have a bit of flexibility in that because I have to. And then my kids just know when I've got clients, it's non negotiable, I have to be quiet. That's when I work with my clients, then all the creative stuff, all the other stuff, the posting the accounts, I can manage that and slot that in around cooking dinner, or whatever else I'm doing.
What was Egypt think back when they were you know, younger? Can you think of some, you know, bring some moment into your life when it was like difficult? juggling all of that. Although you again, you don't see that as a chore. But it can be you know?
Absolutely. When they were younger, I couldn't, I couldn't have quiet in here until I understood what it meant to be quiet. So by the time I started seeing clients, they were already well, how old were they? five and seven. So at that time, I would need my husband in the house to keep them quiet. I wasn't seeing any clients back then. So I was different. So that's when it was a little bit more difficult because they needed me more they couldn't get their own food for lunch, you know, or arrangement or whatever. So there were there were definitely more difficult times when they were younger, because they don't kids need their parents. Teenagers are a little bit more respectful a parents hopefully
more time to find out.
And look, there were times when I would have a client or I'd be I remember one time I was running a meditation class and I needed to, I got a phone call from the school, just as my meditation class was to start then my son had been vomiting at school. So I had to literally drop everything one lady had come, I said, please just sit down, I've got to go pick up my son, I've got to pick him up and bring him home. And I had to juggle that I had to go pick him up. Thankfully, the school's not far, I think I was back in 10 minutes. And my my ladies were lovely. My meditation group were lovely. They were just patiently waiting here for me and stuck him on the couch and did the meditation class, I think he was he was in primary school, but I think he was maybe 10 or 11 by that stage. So he knew to be quiet. And he was okay. When I say it was vomiting, he wasn't violently heal, he was just something that upset his stomach. So there have been times I've had to juggle that. And I'm blessed that my clients are fairly flexible as well. And if they're not, that's just part of who I am. And if they can't, you know, that's part of the boundaries I have around the people I work with. But if they can understand that, that's all there is, then I'm not the person I need to work with.
Love it. Love it, because this is where a lot of people will struggle, you know, to say, Hey, I know I have to take care of my kid. But how am I going to leave this meditation group alone. And I really love your approach and you seem to be very fine with that, you know, now and back then when this happen. So it's really, really important. So see, if I'm hearing you correctly, you're basically saying it's all or most of it is about mindset and how you approach your business and your family. And also if I'm hearing correctly, what you what I think you doing really well is when you're with your kids, you with your kids, when you when you're doing your business, you do in your business, so you're giving 100% focus to people around you. So that you know, B that the business clients and or, of course, your family where the most focuses. And it should be.
Absolutely. I mean, on the weekend, I remember being with my family and my phone was calling, someone was ringing me and I knew it was a client. But I thought that a Saturday afternoon here, I was spending time with my client, I didn't even acknowledge I just let go to message bank, because that was my family time. And it may sound harsh, but my family time is really important to me. And I, while I've truly value my clients, especially as a coach, you have to understand you can't be there for them every second of the day, you have to have your own time. And you have to have that distinction. So when I'm with my family and with my family, and when I'm with with the clients and with the client, and there are some times where there's crossover time, if I'm watching TV and and someone messages me, and it's a client, and I'm in the right headspace to answer I'll answer. It's not it's not all or nothing. It's just I take I look at what mindset I mean, at that time and what I'm doing and I make a decision, yes, I'll answer them now or no. And I think most of my clients know that they know that I have a family, I'm open that I have kids, I'm open that I have to drive my daughter to work sometimes, which is why some clients, I squeeze in between pickups and drop offs, and I tell them that, hey, I've got to drop my daughter off. That's why it's this time. You know, and they they know, once they know, I think they're great. They don't you know, people, most people understand that. When you've got a family, you have to manage that.
And most people will respect that. Rather than saying, why did she do that she will respect because your family is first?
Absolutely. Absolutely, they are first.
So I believe that that seemed to be like key to your success as a mompreneur. I mean, really to be able to fully focus on your family when you read them and fully focus on your business. What I'm saying is that one of the keys
is the ability to fully focus. And the other thing to point out here is I'm not somebody that works till midnight, I'll be honest with you, by you know, if I have a client at seven 630 is probably the latest SEO client. It's very rarely I work after that. So I'm not an entrepreneur that works till midnight, my brain does not function like that. So I am feeding all of this in in reasonable hours, because I know some girlfriends of mine that run a business and they're up till midnight, one o'clock, I'll get emails from them, I'm thinking, Oh, I don't know how they do that. I need my sleep. I'm someone that needs my sleep. So you have to be mindful of not burning yourself out and find what works for you. And it will come and it will grow as it needs to, for you at a comfortable pace. Because on the flip side, I've seen a lot of entrepreneurs out there that are followed, and I'll see them going. I've just been out and taking a break and they're gone for six months, or 10. And then you get a message going, I'm back on board now I've healed myself. And I think I never want to be like that. Because one, one of the things I want to really empower my clients with is to listen to themselves. And to I know what burnout feels like. I burnt out when I was in my corporate job. I don't want to do that in this job. And if my job is to empower others to listen to themselves, then I'm not really being true. And following my own advice if I do that, so yeah, it's very rare. My phone last night, I think my phone was off by seven o'clock. It depends on where the kids are. Everyone's in the house. The phone's off, it's on silent in the other room, and I don't check it. I'm done. And I think so it's important to point that out to that I'm not someone that works till midnight or one o'clock. I don't function that way.
And, and I think it's really important to you know, it is okay, I know there was a part of my career when I did just that when I was working till 12 One, two o'clock in the morning, right? And now I'm at a point where I don't do that anymore. You know, my head, I have a really not strict schedule flexible. But there is a schedule, right where I work until late is to six o'clock is my dinner time. And you know, I was somebody like you and I do this fun stuff. There's really no reason for me to have a client to do anything after that. And, and so, so yeah. So it's, it's, you know, and like you said, if your body tells you to take a break, take a break, take a break, you know, take a nap. Don't just listen to your body. Listen to your mind. Listen to yourself so that you can help other people.
If you can work till midnight, that's great. I just know I can't let that I'm not saying don't do that. I'm just saying listen to your body. If you can do it, go ahead and do it. I know my mind doesn't shut off sometimes at night when I'm laying in bed. So I have a note pad next to the bed and I'm writing notes if something comes through, I think as entrepreneurs, we're creatives, our brain doesn't switch off some nights. And that's fine. I just make notes and then go back to bed.
Yes, yes, I 100% agree. So what's your what advice can you give, in addition to what you just shared to, you know, moms who are trying to establish their business? You know, they have kids that also a lot of you know, single moms who struggle with a lot of things that I happen to know. But yet, you know, the pushing for the getting it done? For what is what else you can?
I think it's really scheduling, I think it's knowing what are your non negotiables? Are I have to pick up my kids here, and I have to drop them off at these times. So work out what times of the day are definitely family time because of obligations? You know, pick up drop offs, whatever you have to do there, then what are your other obligations are not obligations? What are the other times you'd like to spend with your families at weekends as Sundays off limits? I know I had a client once asked me do you work Sundays, I said, No. And I don't work. Sometimes I extended my mornings, but I won't work Saturday afternoons. So you know, figure out where your family time is, for me going to watch my son play basketball or soccer or watching my daughter in a performance is key. It's priority for me. So what I know, I don't ever negotiate that time, then you work out or I want to see clients, how many clients can I fit in, in the time that I have free? That is not related to the family? And how many clients? What's my capacity? Because as coaches seeing 40 clients a week. Yeah, I get to 20. And I'm like, Okay, that's enough for me, you know, I don't even want to get to 20. Because there's other things I want to do. Work out how many hours you want to spend with your clients. And then you see what other times you have, which are flexible. And that's where you fit in your scheduling for your posts. So your content creation, or creating your program, or whatever else it is that the business needs your accounting, you slot them in, in those times that are a little bit more flexible. And that's what I do. And I know when I'm doing my posting, I like to have a solid couple of hours. So I might block out time. If I'm working on a project, I like to again block out a bit of time, but I'm flexible with a client, if I booked a client in, I see the client sort of non negotiable as well, because I need to honor the client's time as well. Yeah, I need to honor their time. So it's that's how I work. I work about the non negotiables for the family. And then I say Where can I fit my clients and then what's left,
and manage all the other stuff around that.
And I also know, we already talked about how you give yourself time, alright, you take care of yourself, which is also very, very important.
And that self time is usually first thing in the morning or in the evening, usually, but sometimes during the day. Look, if I'm if I'm feeling really stressed in the middle of the day, and no one's home, they're all at school or my husband's at work. And I'm feeling exhausted, I'll get up. And I'll actually go and watch some TV and give myself 10 or 20 minutes in front of the TV without guilt.
Yeah, I love it without guilt I do. I do the same thing. There's no guilt,
no guilt, because if I feel guilty, it's like I'm perpetuating that negative tiredness. If I sit there and go, right, I'm just sitting here for as long as I need. I usually don't sit there for longer than 20 minutes. Usually I'm like, hi, I can breathe. I've eaten my lunch or had a snack or whatever I've done, you know, and then I'll be going now I'm itching to get back to work wanting to get back to work. It's the guilt
Yes, it's a guilt that kills and I love it but you said without guilt. I know like yesterday. I was yeah a couple of days ago we went to Jersey Shore and spend time in a cabin It was another cabin with the friends it was really fun. And I started searching like what did we find the cabin like this and maybe buy something and I basically all day I wasted but it wasn't wasted just didn't know what to do that there was really I just sit at home and I was like browsing things and you're not buying anything but you give your give yourself permission to be human to just do maybe nothing and that's fine. Don't feel guilty.
Absolutely. We need this skill is just it's probably one of the worst emotions out there in terms of depleting our energy
in terms of depleting Oh Joe, it could serve you
it could actually Take that back. I realized, as I said it that guilt can sometimes serve us, especially when we've hurt somebody else or something else going on. But in terms of judging yourself, and what's going on, yes, I should probably rephrase.
That's a show, we always say that guilt is terrible thing is right. And it's just there are certain times that is okay. But as you said, if it's about ourselves and what we do, you know,
yeah, if it's about you taking time out for you don't feel guilty.
Good point. Good point. So I'm hoping I mean, this was really great discussion, I want to, you know, congratulate you on all your successes. I know you have so much in works that you share
it with lots of projects on the go at the moment. And lots
of projects and still, you know, being a happy mom, having happy family, happy kids who get the kids that get everything that they need to get from their mom as well as your husband. I really think it's it just gives you so much credit. It's really amazing. That's why I think people can do this. This is what I call true life success. This is life success.
It's happening and my daughter has quite often been quoted to say Ma'am, you're too happy. And I just looked at her go well, do you want me another way? She has no but you're just too happy. And I go, that's okay. Life's about for me. I know what it's like not to be happy. And I've chosen to, to focus more on what's good in life.
Right in at the same time, succeeding in business and with the family. So it's not just you know, that that's that's really important. I thank you so much. It's such a pleasure. I'm really hoping that we helped you helped. Lots of mom listening and wanting to do what you do. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for that. So become the life success academy founding member, go to academy of life success.com and click on founding member to get 60% of full membership