12:32PM Aug 6, 2019
We think we know what we know. In other words, we think that we walk in, and we have an accurate understanding of ourselves and an accurate understanding of the world. And therefore we speak with extraordinary confidence. Has anybody heard the old Bertrand Russell quote, of his the problem with the world is everybody that's really smart is full of doubt. And all the dumb people are really cocksure. Right, I don't know if you've noticed this before. But like all the people that don't know what they're talking about, are absolutely adamant and certain that they're right. But and then all the really smart people are worried, like they
know enough to know that they may not know something.
So they're kind of like,
and it's a is they're full of doubt. It's like the old Mark Twain quote, never argue with a fool from a distance, people can't tell the difference. Right? Or if you know, arguing, folks from a distance, people can't tell. So you're arguing with somebody who's an absolute buffoon to everybody else in the room, somehow the buffoon starts looking like the smart person. And It's early frustrating. Well, the same thing goes with the self,
tonnes of students don't know how to read themselves. So I want to move from the texts that we've been setting and treating yourself as a text with texture.
So I want to introduce you to a quick idea.
And This is a psychological phenomenon developed by a couple of guys, Joe and Harry, believe it or not, and that's why it's called Joe Hardy's window. It's not because it has some kind of ethnic background. It's just a What is it called? Yeah, there's a name for this, the palindrome is backwards. Put a man to write a portmanteau, I guess. That's what this is. You know the portmanteau is. This is like Brangelina.
Okay, perfect. Well, you know, the old strategy for an adult star, Right? They don't start naming strategy is that you choose your childhood road, and your childhood dog. And you combine them. So my I would be Bernie would mind That would be my adult star name.
Pretty good. I'm gonna start using as a pen name burning wood mine.
My wife's was, how can I
get that to come down? My wife was Lady. Lady something. Yeah, I just can't can't seem to get the demo to work, lady. I can't remember anyway, that's a fun game for you to play. You can you part? Yes, great. You can use it as your Twitter handles. Alright, so here's the idea. Here, I want to present I want to present this to you without having to fight with your distractions. And because I think this actually might be of some interest to you in investigating myself. My goal is if you're going to ask what am I supposed to be doing with the career? What am I supposed to be doing as an academic plan? Shouldn't you have some sensibility about who you are? And I've given you the claim data warrant model and an effort to demonstrate that? And The question is, how do I get down here to this stuff, this stuff down here, that's really sort of changing who I am, One of the ways to see it is if you if you took your relationships, Let's just take romantic relationships, because they're the easiest, but you could insert friend relationships, You might have a claim of I want, or I think a guy or a girl, or a friend should be like this. And usually, Usually, there's a data set over here, boyfriend one, When I was 15, boyfriend to when I was 15. And three days whenever as a joke, You know, and there's number three, Number four, number five. And usually, if I asked myself a comparative question, how What does boyfriend one have to do with boyfriend to how are they liking this like a dissimilar, I usually can start to extrapolate or pull out something that they share in common. So If I took my own experience, and I look at all the girls that I dated, something I realised after I married my wife that I'd never even considered, which was mind boggling. And I don't think I did it on purpose, but definitely think there was something down there and the warrant, And that is I did three different guy, I think maybe five, maybe six girlfriends total, right? Three of them had deceased fathers. I don't even notice it. First girl I dated, Never knew her dad died before I dated her, dated a girl in college, played soccer here. Didn't know her dad, she didn't know her dad was he wasn't deceased. He was I don't, we don't know if he was deceased. And then when I married my wife, And when I put those pieces together, I can start to recognise maybe that there's something down here in the lower area that I need to be this like rock or security blanket,
maybe I had a desire to rescue, Maybe I had some insecure need to fill important. You know, it could be a good thing, or it could be a bad thing. But what it did for me is it helped me understand a little bit more about why I was relating to my wife, or maybe why related to women in a certain way. And that was a good exercise. Because this is where I'm going to find things like insecurities, it's where I'm going to find things like bigotry, it's where I'm going to find things like cultural problems, or it's also where I'm going to find things like cultural gifts or why like certain things and why that's good. And So the same thing applies to a career. One of the things I also know that I could only come over here and say I want to be a teacher or I am going to be a teacher or I am going to do this. And What I realised and I think I might have already said this is when I put all of my career's over here as a data points. Everything from working at a high school, restaurant to restaurant, high school or fast food restaurant all the way to I worked at a school for the Deaf. For several years, I worked with disabled kids in another environment. I worked at a an inner city school. I worked with a lot of schools, I worked with churches, I've worked with some design stuff. And so I put all those things together. And I start to ask myself, those kinds of ears cotillion questions I didn't know it seems ridiculous and dorky like anybody sitting down going, How was my war? What is my Warren what kind of thing is the job? But you asked him instinctively. And I started to realise that what's down here what really drives me? And I think I've already said this before having his explanation, right. That's What I am. That's What I am. It's what I to I am. It's How I relate to my wife. For better or worse, You should hear our fights,
Right? These kinds
of explanations go on for a good 45 minutes. And then the mic gets passed to her. Unless you believe that my wife is some kind of feeble woman. I love it. People always think it's always funny. When I talk about her, they think I'm some kind of chauvinist pig. And then I turned the tables on them, like you're the chauvinist pig thinking that my wife some week, ladies, because I'm where I am, right? It's quite the opposite. She's extremely stout, We might say. And I told her that I said, it's so funny when I talk about you people think you're just going to be like Suzy homemaker in the mirror and just going to do whatever I say or that you're really weak or whatever. And she always scoffs at it, but she's a Our house is very verbal. So our fights are very long winded monologues, not always productive. I'm learning. I'm still learning 15 years in. We haven't been married 15 women together 15 years, I guess close to it, something like that. 15
somewhere in there.
So The question is, how do I get to this morning? Do I ask myself enough questions, a lot of you did not think about careers academically that way. Most counsellors pulls you in a room gave you a survey instrument, like, take a Myers Briggs test, figure out which personality is go from there. Find which careers max that printer personality, it made you a data point. Instead of treating you like an argument, instead of treating you like a text that has a deeply and folded argument within it. And that argument changes and evolves over time, this warrant can shift, it can change, and it can mature. I would have never known at 19 years old that my desire was explanation. I went to college actually, to do art. So my first year I was art major. And when I was doing this, I was so confused. Because I was a cartoonist, like I would animate things, pencil drawings, And I was in a room full of people who were like Kandinsky, If you've ever seen a Kandinsky, you know what I mean? like weird, abstract lines all over the place. And I got a D, I think in my first art course, course immediately, my thought was I suck at this. This isn't for me. I left the art programme. And I fumbled around for probably a year and a half. At one point I was a hospitality was like Parks and Rec type major, like I thought I was going to work in parks or something like that. And then at one point, I was a biology major. And then I ended up in communications because I realised that I like to talk. But the biology and the all those stages, were still part of that same desire to learn how to explain stuff, I think my interest in biology was I loved explaining what was happening in the body. So It took me a long time to get there. But I didn't have anybody coaching me telling me how to or kind of showing me that was possible. So that's kind of what I'm trying to at least offer you. I'm not saying you have to sit around your room and ruminate over it forever. But I want you to know that it's there. There's something sort of lurking and forming itself beneath the ground, and whatever your experiences. And if you can gain access to it earlier, you will be more successful. Had I known that explanation was my thing, I would have looked for career options that resonated with that. What happens to you is when you have this situation of Oh my god, I got to find a job you default to does it pay well, is it nearby cannot tolerate it. And The truth is, you can
eventually it's going to wear you out.
But You don't look according to
you know what I really love to be in a position of explaining, well, this job fit that Can I do that doesn't meet those needs? Am I around the people that I want to be around? So that's what I'm saying is like if you have that kind of strategy.
Alright, so here's what the Joe,
here's what Joe and Harry, the psychologist said,
is all of us have four dimensions. Okay, we all have things that are known by me and things that are not known by me, Okay, I know this about myself, I don't know this about myself. For example, I know about myself that I'm overweight, I have to find that out every morning. It's always a sad moment when I stand in front of the mirror, but I know it, Right. It's not unknown to me. But there are things that are unknown to me. Certain behaviour, certain ideas, There are also things that are known by others and the things that are unknown by others. And it creates a cross section, this is how you are right there things up here. And we might call the visible and then this might be the hidden. And these are too complex places in between. In the things that are known by me and known by others, we might call this the open area, right? I know what you know it like the fat thing. You might I mean, things that are visible things that are on the surface things that I say you know, I have a wife, You know, I have kids, you know that I'm interested in blank, you know that I'm interested in whatever Same with you. The open air is about you. I know what you look like I know where you're from. I know your name, I know a few of your interests, because you've said them. But this is important is some of those things, I wouldn't have known about you if you hadn't disclosed them. So for example, and we'll get to that in just a second. There's also the area that's called the Unknown, Unknown by me, which would be the blind area. And This is everybody else knows it. But I don't,
They know it. I don't know, this is the quintessential asshole, Right? Everybody knows he's an asshole. He doesn't? Why Doesn't he know this? Everybody knows that you shouldn't try out for American Idol. But you don't. And I'll be damned if we're just too scared to tell you. Right? You all have this. Your parents, there's something about your parents, they don't know. But You know, there's something about your closest, most intimate friends that you know that they just don't know. The question is, how does that come out? How do we get to those spots? Because here's the here's the deal. To use the example of the guy that's the asshole. That's the most controlling thing oftentimes in his life. This these parts, He doesn't know it. And you think, well, it's not important that he doesn't know it. No, it is important. It is important, because his attitude, He's wrecking friendships, It's getting him fired. It's making him do poorly at interviews, it's making him unable to think through who he is. And in such a degree that he can actually become good at something. It's a huge obstacle. This is not just some like willy nilly college exercise. It's not just a Myers Briggs test, these things form you. And what's really crazy is they form you by the time you're 60. They by the time you're 40, we're not talking about something like you're a teeny bopper. And this is just a mood that you have. These are the deep formative warrants that shape what you do when you do and how you do them. Everyone knows I'm a jerk, right? This is the known by me, but not known by others. So This is the hidden area, Right? This would be the part that I know that you don't, These are the secrets that I keep. Like, for example, I'm a hypochondriac. I'm worried all the time that I've got some weird illness, right? Or these oftentimes their phobias, sometimes they're hidden desires. Yeah.
joking. Okay, joking. Let it go.
Thank you, That felt like it relieve the pressure. And one more time was good. So you have these right? You have these elements that you know, sometimes you disclose them, and other times you don't. The last one is the really troubling one, right? This is the unknown category. This is something that others didn't know about me, I don't know about myself, For example, I would have never ever anticipated in my own life playing music.
started playing guitar when I was a sophomore in college. You know, it's like in a dorm room, Somebody three doors down playing, it's hard. It's kind of like, cool, you got nothing to do. So you walk down there, and you know, they think they're Van Morrison, or john mayer, or whatever. And you pick it up because you want to play guitar and or you'd like the idea of you like one particular song, and you want to play it on the guitar. So you know,
What do others know about me that I don't know about myself? Of course, here's the irony. If I think my know myself No, Well, so Well, I don't even know that I'm not thinking about what I'm thinking about anyways, It's the fun irony of the fact that what you don't know, But How do we get to this stuff? what I'm saying this squared model is the same as this. Right? This might be the known stuff up here.
This is more of the unknown stuff. So how do we get to it?
Feedback, right? The only way I can find out that I'm a jerk, If I
don't know what nobody else knows it, You got to tell me. That's it,
Is feedback. And notice that these gold pieces that will pop up, are uniquely related to conversation. That's exactly how our conversation works. We're sitting in this room and I say something. And let's say what I say is offensive. And I keep saying it. And I keep saying it.
And everybody in the room is like every time I say it, they're like,
right? You gotta tell me.
You've I don't know, if I do know, I don't realise I'm a jerk for doing it. Or if I do know that I'm a jerk for doing it and don't care, That's another own unknown area. Right? That that feedback has to dig deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper until it hits the soft tissue, until it gets to the point where we find where we get to what I wrote, don't realise is driving that. It's just like any kind of therapy, right? You date, five different people, and you throw them all away in a matter of two or three months. And you keep saying I just haven't found the right person, and you don't realise you're a serial monogamous, right. All right. You know, monogamy is like one person, you're just, you're like, I'm not gonna date multiple people at one time. I'm a one woman, man, but you just keep like rotating the women. So you do have one woman, it's just a whole bunch of them and in the chain. And you might say, Oh, dude, you're you're kind of like a player, right? Haha, he laughs He thinks Oh, yeah, I knew that.
And then he like say, No, actually, I think you're,
you're almost like borderline abusive. No. So you bring it out more feedback?
I think, is there anything? I mean, where does that come from? Where does that
need to, like consume women and then toss them? I don't know. What are you doing to me, you know, you that feedback is good, because you're driving into the unknown area, because that behaviour that this fellow is exhibiting is driven his driving or is driven by these deep seated orientations that he may not even know that are there. Now, Is it good enough just to expose him Maybe, maybe not, I don't know. But the same way with jobs, like you ever noticed, there's a tendency for when you have to, quote, go get a job, you always kind of float back to the same stuff. You'll go back to the same high school job and see kind of check that for a second, maybe you don't really want to work there anymore. But you'll have like a certain pool of options that you think about, it's limited, or I can work at the pool being a lifeguard during the summer, I can go do this, or I can go do this, or I can go to this, we have a narrow pool of eligibility. And It's because we only have a certain set of known things, what we need to know is what we don't know. And that can only come to us through other people
was realised what?
Myself, and I'm like, Oh, this is why
Yes, That's good. But remember, that warrants also have tentacles coming off of them,
meaning like they have backing. So this,
This is constantly shifting. This one is not like,
boom, I'm born with it, I walk away.
So This is constantly morphing, I might have thought to to our argument yesterday, in the text, I might have thought 10 years ago, that what I should be doing is standing up and teaching, and everybody should be listening to me. And I should get the PhD and blah, blah, blah, blah. I might have thought 1520 years ago that I should be drawing stuff and getting paid really well for it. But when my cultural framework changed, my backing changed, And I realised that people were being exploited with money. All of a sudden, my desire here shifted more if it wasn't, I need to draw things to get people to pay for pay for them, or I need to teach in order to get people to pay for them. I think I teach and I do design so that people can have access to the ideas that they've been told that they don't have access to.
Yes, I know, unknown it was there. But it's it's grown or it's evolved, or it's it's reshaping. So yeah, I think you can know that it's there and still look for it. How about this one?
I know what others don't know it.
The only way for me to find out what you know that I don't is for you to tell me Right? And so if only way for me to find out things that I don't know about myself, I need feedback. But in order for you to find out things about me that you don't know, I have to tell you. So that's called disclosure. St. That's all the paper is. When I asked you about a disputation? It's because I want you to disclose I'm asking you to contribute to the conversation. I have no idea what you think. And you act like I do. Well, just, you know, you look at me and kind of incredulous. Like it just, I think people just this way, and I think what way, right? I want to know what you mean, by what way, I have no idea what you mean by that? Or when people say it is what it is? And I think is what Tell me What the What means it is what it is? Or is what it should be. I don't even know what that means. Right? Tell me what you mean by that. I'm asking you, because I need you to disclose that to me, because I'm on the outside of what you know that I don't. And that here's the irony is that when you disclose to me, I get a glimpse into your being and into your thinking that you sometimes don't know that's there. So What do I do, I give you feedback. So you become the you get illuminated. If you're open to it, disclosure itself. even notice that feeling you had or if any of y'all had this, maybe you were just so recalcitrant, and lazy and angry, I don't know that when you put a paper out, there's a little bit of nerves that the person
who's looking at your paper is going to measure you.
Right, And they're gonna think you're dumb or wrong.
There's a certain tinge of embarrassment.
Right? And but I love it when people say that they're not embarrassed about it. What they really mean is, they've grown so cold over it, that they act like they don't care. Remember I said about the gym graphic and thing here, you know, you whatever you don't control, you act like you don't care. But yet you put that paper out there, It is a vulnerable thing to put your ideas in front of other people. I do it all the time. I come here and I pour my heart I teach you all and some of you lay your heads now.
I come up here to pour my heart out. Somebody wouldn't talk to me.
The truth is, I want back from you what I give,
but I don't get it.
So disclosure, it's not me being critical is me saying that's what happens when you put ideas out there. It's the same way in academia, people in academia are extremely insecure people. Why do you think that they're hell bent on giving you grades and giving skinning students to worship every word that they say. They're insanely insecure. And so what happens is when you put an idea out there, what what comforts that idea is feedback, even if that feedback is critical. So when you say something, when you disclose something, you'll notice that I want to understand what you're saying. I'll say, Tell me what you mean by that. That's my way of like hugging you, right, of saying, Hey, I'm interested in what you're saying here. Tell me more about that. Because it is disclosures, a vulnerable process. And feedback is an act of kindness. Feedback is an act of saying What you said is important. I would like to interact with it. Horse.
So you're saying Are there other responses to this information? Yes, for sure. For Sure. I mean, I could disclose something in the room and other someone else thinks that they have Keen knowledge of that thing. And they might perceive my disclosure as a threat to their knowledge. So they might squash it. For example, notice you go into a room of like, chauvinist guys, late at night arguing about sports, somebody puts forth a genuine idea. Like, let's consider this statistical blah, blah, blah, they wouldn't say it that way. Because they would ever ever think they're an idiot. For some reason, if you say it well. So You said let's consider this. And other guys like no, no, no, that's not it. Trust me, dude, That guy, they just squash it. Because for some reason that that bit of information, that bit of disclosure, threatens this other dudes belief on his inside that he has the corner on the idea, He owns that market. And so he's gonna kill it A second it comes out. So he's not going to do feedback and disclosure. So yeah, it's not it. They're all kinds of responses to the disclosure. One of the most troubling ones is the indifference because it leaves you in a state of not knowing. Let's say, I'm in the room with those guys. And I said, Well, guys, what
about this? What do you think football?
Maybe the question about Brady and Manning is not a question about statistics, but a question about chauvinistic idols. And they're like, Well, you know, they squash it will if they blow up and squash it. At least their reaction teaches me something. At least I can say. I'm thinking Damn, you're testing, Right? Who hurt you? Right? Or how many interceptions Did you throw in high school? I got you so pissed that you're in this situation? Then I can ask that if there's trust, I can say what what my so upset about it. So I do this with my 70 year old buddies, who are hardcore trumpet Republicans. I go to this coffee shop, I sit with these 270 year old guys, and they are
piss and vinegar mad about everything.
And I constantly am asking my wife. So my head, I said, I'm not a guy, you Hey, like I'm a I'm a left wing, Elizabeth Warren, you know, and they're there I met I say her name. They're awesome. But there's enough trust in that relationship that we've made. We've made slow progress, Right? And so because there's trust, there's a certain kind of action. But yes, you're right. If that, if that certain trust is not there, There's not a good reaction. But notice that what we've done in academic circles, because we don't trust each other, we revert to grades. It's a neutral ground. So in a conversation, not to put my idea out there in the table, and you get to talk about it. That's vulnerable, No numbers. Because we don't want to do that. We submit the paper and get the grade walk away. There's No need to trust anybody, you just maintain your distance. Does that make sense? So that's a very different model. The problem with that model is like, as far as I can go, is grades as far as I can go, unless I have some unique ambition, personal ambition.
That's the fear. That's The fear is that we become success monkeys, like learning how to perform. And then we go into jobs, where we've already 10 four years of practice of not getting anybody's business and just doing what you're told, And nothing changes. And That's hard. That's hard that but can bring brings it back to the question yesterday is like is important to study the humanities, I want to talk about two or three more problems. And these are just for fun, Okay. These are problems in living in a world where people don't know what they don't know. Okay, The first one is called the Dunning Kruger effect. Use this talk about it with your parents. It's the same principle I talked about at the beginning, where the smart guy thinks he doesn't know. And the dumb guy thinks he knows everything. It's literally called the Dunning Kruger effect is cognitive bias of superiority. So This is when you go to Walmart, and you're like, you read guns and ammo are filled in stream and you're like an expert marksman. And you're in Walmart one day, and you're just looking at firearms, and you're like,
tell me about the Does anybody looking for a worker?
Here comes this bumbling fellow around the corner here asking about this 22 long rifle. You know,
like, come up with this 22
Oh, yeah. And he starts going on? How about the greatest gun ever? All you meant was like, I want to learn about this model and make you know, it's not the greatest gun. You know, it's a low level model because you you're in the world of guns, but he's going to talk like he has got it figured out. And, and he thinks that you're just stupid and need need the information. Right? I had this with my buddies all the time. My buddies are bunch of my buddies are religious people. Okay. And when I asked them questions, I want to engage conversation, but they think I'm like this measly weak, needy fellow, like, come here. Let's let's have coffee. Let's talk about that. I'm like, You don't understand. Like, I know what I already think about it. I'm trying to engage conversation. They see me as this. It's the same thing as Dunning Kruger effect, the less they know, the more confident they are, the more you know, the less confident you ask an astrophysicist of the highest order, about about the certainty of physics, and he is not going to be cocky about it. You ask the high school kid that watch the Neil Degrassi Tyson whatever, episode and he's got it figured out. Yeah, that's how it works. It's nuts. It's just utterly crazy. Same thing with History Channel, right? I come in essays, anybody's familiar with the Peloponnesian War, was talking about anybody read through cities. And then I'll say something like now can't quite remember if it was this battle or this battle. And because I've read the Peloponnesian War, which is a large text, and some other kid was like, wait, wait, wait, Is this like the 300? Like the movie? 300? Like, yeah, that's actually based on? It's based in this time period? Oh, no, I know. Yeah. Now, all of a sudden, that the expert, It's just, it's weird thing. But what's really wild is when it becomes institutionalised, and it starts to be institutions of I don't know if you've noticed this and work in enough places or not. But institutions will actually elevate the dumb people and suppress the smart people. And If you've ever noticed this in any of your managers, and whatever company you've worked in, you're like, why the hell are they in charge? It's mind boggling. Another another issue with ignorance is called the Peter Principle. And this is when you rise to the level of your competence. This happens to football coaches all the time. Let's say your teacher, you're really good at something and all the sudden school wants to make you principal, and then you become principal, and you suck. Bad. I mean, hardcore banana peels suck.
And you It's because you were really good
at this level. But once you bumped up to this, your ignorance was visible. often like to say, this is what happened to Butch Jones. At UT, the football coach, you're really really good at this, Right here. Oh, no, You need to be right here. So The Peter Principle is interesting, because it finally this ignorance about our warrants, or about our ideas, or our subjects are often hidden from us. The last one is called puts law on ys and reading puts law is this weird phenomenon that occurs in organisations where you have people who are really good at a technical thing, Okay? You have people that are bad at the technical thing, here's what you would think would happen. Let's imagine all of us worked for a computer company. And all of you were really good at it. And I was really bad at it. Okay. We'll hit Well, that's true. But what you think would happen is it would flush me out, it would weed me out, like I would end up quitting, or I'd get fired because I couldn't do it. But puts law says the opposite happens. I get elevated to management. It's so bizarre, That in some ways, culturally, we have learned to reward Ignorance is long as you're more confident about your ignorance, more protective of your ignorance.
You when it's so strange.
So I tell you all of this to say that as you proceed into the academic plan and into the career plan, I would love for you to be able to think that way. I would love for you to be able to ask yourself enough questions to get down into those blind and hidden and unknown areas to be able to dig down into the Warrens. Because I'm convinced it gives you control. It gives you the ability to make decisions about your own experience, what you want, what you don't want, According to what's driving you, not just what's on the surface, but what's really deep and driving. Take three or four more minutes, Take a break. I'm going to come back. I'm going to show you how to and then we'll call it a day. All right. Take a break.