2002-09-01: Upside Down Thinking
4:31AM Jun 29, 2020
Okay, good morning everyone. Can you hear me okay? speakers working okay?
I find it interesting and very important that part of what can happen through mindfulness meditation or through Buddhist practice or just is not just is imparted change your perspective. And then a lot of our problems and difficulties don't necessarily have to be resolved in the usual ways, but sometimes involves seeing them in a new way and seeing them a new way. They're not. We're not grabbed by them. We're not oppressed by them. We're not we don't suffer because of them. Maybe we feel at home again in some deep way or at peace in some deep way. Even though the problem might be unresolved are still there. Sometimes a change of perspective actually is the thing that sometimes actually has a particular problem or difficulty evaporated itself. And as long as we kept an old perspective that it would be like a, you know, a maze that had no exit. And so you're kind of endlessly kind of looking for a solution for it. But the solution is not found found inside a particular perspective, but rather requires a shift of you what's going on. There's a technical word in Buddhism, that is, I believe, more or less, literally translated as upside down thinking and doesn't sound very technical in English. The there's a technical word, I think, in certain sort of psychological circles, which maybe translate maybe works good as a translation.
It's when I slipped my mind exactly the first word.
I've forgotten the first words, three words to it. And it's nice to make up the first word then. Oh, here it is. Yes, came back, look back.
premature cognitive commitment. And it turns out that the ugly duckling In the little story, the ugly duckling is an example of someone who is living like premature cognitive commitment. So the ugly duckling is really a swan, but it's born into a family of ducks. And it's a really ugly duck, because it's not meant to be a duck. And really, it's the beautiful birds a swan, it grows up to be this beautiful swan. And I guess the baby Swan suffered under its premature cognitive commitments. And so that's often the case for us. We have kind of premature cognitive commitment, we commit ourselves certain cognitive use certain viewpoint. And then all this stuff follows including our suffering. And I saw the potential is operating, maybe operate a little bit but certainly, in a fascinating way, in my own mind last night, I came home last night and I was going to check my email. So I turned on my computer and For about a second it started to turn on just the way it usually turns on and then had a little poof or something and did something unusual and it turned itself off and no matter how many times I pushed the button it just wouldn't turn on. So I don't know if that means it's died or crashed or if it's just sleeping I don't know what it means but it seemed pretty ominous to me that and and you know the computer is you're like in my second mind you know with all these files on it and emails which respond to and all this stuff that's on it and so it seemed like it wasn't working anymore. And so I went instead I saw I went sat on the couch, my family was asleep and so I just sat in the couch and just sitting there peacefully and and and then was fascinating to watch my mind and maybe not Normally enough my mind started thinking about the consequences of this what this means oh these those emails I'm supposed to respond to and I don't have access to them I don't even know where they are and and then there's these files that were such important things that I wrote and never you know, and I have this huge you know, project that I'm working on I think I have it saved it's not the latest version and how could I ever reconstruct it and and and then you know, well how am I What am I going to do to get this fixed and and do I have to kind of mail it to Dell computer to find a computer store nearby and it'll take a long time not to find a box and boxes don't come easily in an audio packet computer. I've never mailed the computer before and and, and I've other things I'd rather do than find a box for computer and then go to the post office and and so all these thoughts are kind of going through my mind. And, and what was fat. What was fascinating for me, was that I could see This, for every little thought like that, I could see a tendency for the mind to want to latch on to it, and kind of get caught in that. But all I did was I just watched these thoughts go through. And I was actually quite comfortable to do that it was a little bit anxiety, but, but mostly I was quite comfortable. And because I was just these thoughts were just going through, and I could see the tremendous potential as opposed to suffer. And, you know, and have these premature cognitive commitments around. First of all, is it really broken? You know, who knows? Is it? I don't know what's going on with it? Will I ever get those files again? I don't know. You know, maybe I will, maybe I won't. And certainly had thoughts about sending it to Dell computer to get it fixed. And, and they would just, you know, in order to fix it, they would intentionally unintentionally wipe out the hard drive. Yeah, but you know, there wasn't any cognitive commitment to any of these things I didn't get caught him wasn't locked on to it at all. To interesting ideas, it might be so it might not be so. And I've had lots of premature cognitive commitments in the past in my life, and they turn out to be false. So, you know, I think you should give, you know, these, these ideas, a little bit of benefit of doubt, but benefit of what's the other word, it was the opposite of giving it the benefit of the doubt. It's a good expression benefit of the benefit of doubt. In a way we should doubt it, we should give it benefit that we know the benefit better give ourselves the benefit of doubting Sometimes, these views we have about before we actually know whether they're gonna be fulfilled or they're gonna be true.
So in the Buddhist tradition, they're there. They, they sum up the three, all these different kind of premature cognitive commitments that we might have into three particular views. upside down, views are thinking and some of you familiar with these things. So, there are the three characteristics. So upside down. So the view that things are permanent in some way, the view that things are satisfactory in some way, and the view that things somehow define who you are, your identity is connected to it. And these are considered upside down views. And the alternative is the view that things are impermanent, things are unsatisfactory, and things are not characterized by being something that qualifies as a different definition of self or something we identify with or say, this is who I am. And, and I've seen plenty of times in my own mind, especially when there's a strong emotion, that I know that this emotion or this problem is not going to last, but somehow the psychically my mind operates as if Oh my god, this is forever. This is it. And the change of perspective this season. Oh, this To pass is very helpful. So even if it yesterday with the computer, I know that sooner or later this is gonna pass, I have a new computer, I lost all my friends I have new friends because you know, and those new friends will send me new emails. Things will change. And I guess that wasn't the best example. So this is you know that that this particular problem that you know, will be a problem for a while I'll have to go through the efforts of some of fixing this problem. But it's not going to characterize, you know, defining moment in my life. I think this is how it's going to be from now on. And so, so, sometimes I get angry. In the moment it's as if, or sad or something in the moment. It's like, Oh, this is it. This is who I am. This is you know, always be this way. upside down. I'll always be this way, I'll never be happy again, I'll never be, I'll never be, you know, I'm better noclip people ever see me. And I've had that often enough, this idea that this is who I am. And I lose some kind of perspective, sometimes in the midst of certain emotional states. And then a day later, or an hour later, a minute later, I'm quite different. And suddenly, I feel lighter. I see the excuse, you know, it's middle of winter, but suddenly feels like spring, you know, everything's light and, and happy and, and I'm kind of, you know, whistling down the street. And what happened to that mood yesterday that I hadn't, you know, I was so grumpy. And I think this is the way you know, it's going to be the rest of my life. So somehow, there's a kind of a commitment to idea. Oh, this is this is it. This is who I am some idea of permanence. Things are permanent. I'm permitted. The problem is permanent. This thing that I have will always be here, and it could be good things. I performed a wedding on Friday and whenever I perform weddings, I, somehow I don't often say it during the wedding. But I'm reminded that when people make the commitment to be together for life, it's a setup. For sooner or later one of them things, you know, take more or less than normal course, one of them die before the other. And that somehow, and I feel like maybe I should say that as part of the wedding, because it's part of what gives, I think, real depth to that commitment, that that the commitment of love and the commitment to be present includes being present in this very, very difficult time and realizing that built into this commitment of love and being present comes there'll be a time when the couple's can be together as one of them passes away, go through get sick and old or whatever. And and sometimes we lose, you know, we don't remember that. And so sometimes remembering that Things change all the time. We never know what's going to happen. In the Buddhist analysis of impermanence and emphasizing the impermanence of life, it's not meant to be then heavy or dour or sad or depressed about things being permanent. But it's supposed to lend its lend itself to certain lightness, being kind of light about the life we live in a healthy way, not kind of floating, can I thoroughly but we don't take things so heavily we don't get attached or bond or we're not caught up as so dramatically. But all this is a way it has to be this is the way it is. There's a sense of not being surprised when things change. And it's very common. If you go to Thailand,
especially people who've been involved in Buddhism a lot. Something happens and they'll say, Oh, I need you. Oh, that's impermanence. As if they were expecting it, there's if that's you know, the way that that's that's natural supposed to be that way. They're there. They get a flat tire on the freeway and they Oh Nature, impermanence. What else do you expect? As opposed to expecting things to always work. And then there's this idea of things are satisfactory, which is upside down work, word, review. And satisfactory means here, that somehow it will satisfy in a permanent way, your security, your happiness, your sense of identity, that somehow you can get some kind of permanent satisfaction from the things of life. And things that since things are impermanent, always changing. The idea is that's an upside down form of thinking. And the more healthy perspective is to see well, you know, ultimately, I can't find some lasting satisfaction in here. There might be satisfaction in the moment, but that's going to pass also. So I'm not going to depend on this for my security. I'm not gonna depend on this relationship or that This job or this bank account or whatever, and because if you put some ultimate, you know, dependents on it, it's again a setup. And you might be lucky and it might serve you well until you die. But there's lots of examples where that doesn't work out and you don't know it's kind of like a lottery. And you don't know whether how things are going to work out. And then and then, for some people much more challenging, upside, you know, challenge to our upside down thinking is this challenge of not self of a NACA, the challenge that, to that our tendency to identify ourselves with anything define ourselves by this is who I am. And, you know, so example if my computer breaks down, I won't be able to respond to this email. And I think oh, I'm not going to be I'm they're going to define me. I'm going to define myself as someone who doesn't know how to work fix computers. So I'm a klutz. You know, just as a proof of it are they I find myself I'm in relationship to that computer's not working, I didn't think I was a klutz until I broke. But now boy, or, or, you know, oh, I'm someone who can never fulfill my responsibilities, you know, and so because the computer broke, and I'm never going to be able to find those emails to respond to. So I don't know if those are good examples. But there's some ways in which we define ourselves. By our experience, we define ourselves by our state of our mind or mood or emotion. We define ourselves, we let other people define ourselves, we're worried about how other people define ourselves. And that's, you know, rampant. We want to be liked, we want to be seen a certain way. And so the last thing I should do is come down in here and admit to a roomful of people that I don't know how to fix my computer. I mean, how embarrassing This is Silicon Valley. You know, I do know where the Start button is, but that's it. beyond that. I don't know what's there. So so there's so So there's upside down forms of thinking, or premature cognitive commitments. And some Buddhists then will try to reframe their experience from the proper perspective, to reframe their experience from the idea of impermanence. unsatisfactoriness, and not self. That can be very wise. I think a lot of wisdom in life comes from being able to see that to see Oh, this is how it is today, but tomorrow will be different. When my son was about two. There was got to be a point where my wife and I would just look at ourselves, look at each other and say, Oh, well, it's one of those days. And now we're just gonna make everything lighter. Because it was crazy with this kid. And they go through these, they go through these phases, you know, and they go through a day or a week of being a certain way and my attitude towards it. This is it. You know, it's gonna be 18 years of this. We, we had this really cute kid, we can go But now what happened? You know, I must have said something I've ruined him for life. And I don't know if I can match 18 years of this kind of behavior. But then, you know, just we look, my wife looks at me, it's one of those days, oh, just one of those days it happens this way. And then, you know, in the next day, it's different or the next week and so, you know, I also come to this premature cognitive commitments. So sometimes having this change of perspective, you know, reminder can be very helpful.
mindfulness practice can help us do that by bringing kind of presence of mind to see things differently. The mind first, I believe mindfulness practices and more profound and more, actually more valuable because rather than taking a view, replay replacing an unhealthy viewer or on useful you view With a more helpful one insight practice is meant to, for you to see how things actually are. So it's not an idea that you're imposing, but rather an insight into how things are, which I think is much more reliable. Otherwise, if you just didn't view your overlaying, it could have the problem being kind of wishful thinking, or kind of, kind of making affirmations on top of the experience, which hides what's really going on. And it can be as it can be quite fragile to hold on to the idea of impermanence. When underneath impermanence is a deep psychic forced to want to hold on, see things permanently. Well, as I do, there's no self here. This is not self. And then underneath, there's this tremendous drive to hold on to things of self. And that you know, just kind of like you've repressed that urge, by this Buddhist teaching, which is very dangerous to kind of repressed what's going on. The function of insight practice is to highlight what Going on really, honestly, an insight deeply into what's actually going on in the experience. And it happens that when you have deep insight, you'll see very clearly that things are impermanent, unsatisfactory now itself is something we see, not something we have to believe or view we overlay. So there's a different kind of shift of perspective that comes when we do mindfulness. And we see things actually a different way. There's another kind of change of perspective, that comes when mindfulness becomes stronger than the concern we have. So yesterday sitting on the couch, my mindfulness was stronger than all these very powerful thoughts are going through my mind. And if I hadn't been mindful, I could have easily been swept up or grasped on to those concerns, and been oppressed by it. But in fact, yesterday, I just happened to be that I was had enough of presence of mind that I wasn't actually quite peaceful. And there's this kind of background feeling of peace of ease, being quite at peace with the world with interesting thoughts going through, you know what this all all gonna mean. So the mindfulness practice as it gets stronger itself, shifts perspective into kind of some people like to call it the witnessing mode. There's a witness, there's a witnessing going on, which is separate from what we're concerned about, separate from what we're thinking about. So, so those two mindfulness works in those two ways, in providing us with insight and with providing us with kind of a witnessing mode, where we no longer caught up in the experience of spacious mirror that just sees it passing through.
along this line, the following me okay. So a lot anybody not today or ask a question? Before I go in the I find it useful. To distinguish between foreground and background of what's happening, the idea of shifting perspective into from not just simply what's in the foreground of our experience, but shifting the perspective into the background of the experience. So, to shifting into the witnessing mode, that sense of observational, spacious presence, that could be there is a shift of perspective into the background of experience from the foreground. So, let me try to explain with better, usually the mind. Our mind, I think, more often than not, is preoccupied by something is focusing on something. For example, if you have a desire or you have something you have aversion towards, then then often the mind, the attention is fixated on that object of desire, object of aversion. And if it's very powerful, the object of desire, the desire or the aversion, then it's consumed, but that object you're thinking about all the time. And you're focusing on it and all kinds of, and it's possible to lose touch with ourselves in the focus on the object. To the foreground of attention is the object of desire, the object of aversion. The thing we're preoccupied with the problem. Or the training of mindfulness is certainly see that, but it trained ourselves to drop into the background of what's happening. Now, what's in the foreground, what's the background like that's holding at all. It's fascinating what can happen as you back up into the background, the background is the tweet. It offers a three dimensional aspect of our life. It turns out when we're caught up in our thoughts, we live in a kind of two dimensional world. They can seem very rich in itself, but it's really just you know, it's not as rich as a three dimensional world. Kind of like someone who's watching television. They've been born into a closed room that has no windows or No curtain is curtains or something and they spend their whole life living in this one box room. One one room kind of house. And there's a television it's beautiful intelligent, like a 52 inch flat screen. And you know, state of the art and and every couple of years someone brings in a better one DVD. You know, how many channels you get. Someone told me that she got 600 channels on her television. So I was spending the night at her house so so she wanted so with the one on one of our televisions was in that bedroom. So I channel surfed and I couldn't find it I couldn't count. But it didn't seem like you were 600 but it went on and on and on. And so they have so so the persons who have watched this is great. If I get bored with a program I shifted channel and watch another one. Just you know, so many different colors and programs and every possible, you know, thing I could watch here. It's great. And then After doing that for him 45 years, someone finally opens the front door. And the person wanders out. It's Wow, there's a breeze against my cheek and, you know, I can smell the smells and I can see all the deep perspective and, and suddenly there's a three dimensional world opens up where the person is used to living this two dimensional world of television. It seems so interesting, when that's all person new. So our thoughts are like that often we live in our thoughts much more than we care to realize. And it's actually kind of a two dimensional world even though it's can be endlessly entertaining. And the mindfulness is a shift ourselves into the background of our experiences to start opening up to a three dimensional world of much more depth of what's actually happening. So, with example of desire, if you if you pay attention to the background of what's happening when there's desire, you might notice that there is a feeling of insecurity and so the desire is trying to satisfying feeling of loneliness, or a feeling of emptiness. or there might be a feeling might be some anger about something. And the desire somehow, in response to the anger, there might be something is making you tick that's in the background compared to the foreground of fixating on the desire. Or if there's a version that might be fear, and might be sense of hurt. And so it's training and mindfulness is two, part of the training used to change. Zen master dog and expression. Take the backward step.
The backward step means take a step back into the background of what's happening kind of in a three dimensional world of your experience, when you turn the attention around, away from the object to what it's like to actually be in this process you're in. So rather than being focusing on the desired object or desire, you feel what it's like to be desiring. Rather than being The planning mode and planning, planning planning, you feel was like the planning rather than, you know, thinking about all the different things that are wrong with your life because your computer doesn't work. You feel like what it's like to be a person having those kinds of thoughts and maybe feel the anxiety or the fear or the irritation or the frustration or so we drop down actually feel what's going on. When it's something unpleasant in the background. It can be sometimes takes some discipline to want to stay there. Because many of us have this idea that, you know, it's, you know, we're supposed to be comfortable things supposed to be pleasant, nice. And we recoil from feeling the unpleasantness. And so part of the training of mindfulness is to learn a healthy way of bringing our attention holding our attention in a loving, friendly way, present for the discomfort we feel in the background of what's actually happening three dimensional part of our life. Now one of the most useful ways or ever User entryway to this background of our experience, to make it more concrete, perhaps, is our physical experience, our embodied experience. And a very big part of the training of mindfulness is to turn our attention into our body, to experience our life, through our bodies experience of our life, so not through our thoughts only, not through what we think. And the conclusions we make, the cognitive commitments we make, with a drop down and feel how's the body experiencing this right now? Because the body is not a cognitive commitment, and that the body is intimately connected to what the mind does, and our feelings. And the body offers an entryway into this three dimensional aspect of our life. It offers a way of changing the perspective of our experience. What's the body's experience of this right now? Whereas attention where's the warmth? Whereas though resistance sometimes you can feel your body pulling back you can be as simple as paying attention to your posture, posture you in different situations, different circumstances, it'll tell you a lot. What's your, what you're feeling inside, where's attention. And then you're not focusing on the object anymore, but you're focusing on what it's like to be a person in the midst of this process. And the body can give you a lot of information and what's happening. What's going on in the background of experience, there is the I love this little scene from The Wizard of Oz, where they finally make it to the Emerald City. And Dorothy and her entourage are in the chamber of the wizard. And, and he has this big booming voice and kind of seems like a, you know, powerful figure. This big mask on the wall and golden ask and and then the total cost of curtains. And there's this little guy you know, talking about A microphone of some sort. And, and they see just a little guy, you know, and he's from Kansas himself, I think, isn't he? And, and so mindful that this idea of dropping into the background of our experience is kind of like pulling the curtain from the director that's often directing the show, and sometimes can seem seem to have a tremendous amount of authority to questioning what is it it gives authority to this belief system? What gives authority to this, you know, what's actually know what's making us tick, what isn't making a stick. So pulling the curtain and then what happens we keep pulling more and more curtains. The Wizard of Oz is only one curtain. But then you find more and more curtains if you step back into the background of experience. You might find for example, that you know, if you filled with a desire because you're feeling lonely, he pulled back the curtain from the lonely As you find my find behind the loneliness, there might be a feeling of being empty. which feels more frightening. By that, behind that you might find a fear of not existing in people's eyes. Behind that you might find a feeling of a sense of great space, which feels kind of you know, you know, you feel unsure whether it's safe to be in that space. And maybe pull away that uncertainty or that fear of being in space. And you find that being in that great space is actually very satisfying, very comforting. So being home in a place where there's no conflict,
to drop into the background, and keep moving back, pulling the curtains back. Rather than fixing the problems there can reveal a dimension of our life, which offers much greater possibility of peace, of happiness of well being than you can ever possibly get. From fixing your problems, fixing problems is a useful thing to do. Sometimes, I need to fix my computer now. I'm going to try my best. I'm not gonna ignore that. But I don't expect that to be the solution to my life. I have it access I know about a place of peace and well being being at home. That is much more lasting, much more satisfying much more and much more in depth and value to me than being caught up in the concerns of my computer. Or may perhaps more profoundly for some of us, whether people like me or not like me, I get caught by that much more than whether my computer likes me or not, whether it works or not. But whether people like me or not, is there some deeper sense of sadness of being at home in the universe, feeling like I belong here that I have inherent sense of sense of worth is not dependent on what other people think. Maybe that's in the background. To the drop into the background of the background drop into the body, drop into the feelings drop into the possibility of being the observer, or observing, watching, to drop into the nature of awareness itself. The awareness itself that's aware of all the stuff that's game is dance is play of life that moves through us. The nature of that awareness itself has an element to dimension of peace, of timelessness. That's very satisfying. When we learn to kind of rest there and trust it. So the main thing I'm trying to say today, is that is we tend to make premature cognitive commitments. We tend to have often have a particular perspective by which we view ourselves in our life. And it's very healthy, to begin questioning the perspective that we have. questioning whether it's valid questioning upon what authority Do we have this would be the thought the perspective that we're a trooper we have this is a true perspective.
see if you can shift the perspective to a more healthy, healthy one a wiser one. And one of the wiser shifts of perspective is a shift into the shift into the background of what's actually happening for you to focus turning away from the future to focusing away from what you're thinking about, to what it's like to be involved in that process of thinking, the process level of our life. And that's part of the function of mindfulness is to help us make that shift to perspective. And that shift of perspective always brings us into the present. And the present, is what then cause us to open up to the possibility of peace. So I hope that was clear enough and useful. So now it's your turn. How many Questions or comments? Is there
any cognitive commitment? That's not premature?
I think so. I think there can be some. I don't know why you're dressed in a suit and tie today, but I'm wondering if you're going to Courtney's wedding. That was why she's getting married this weekend. or not this weekend. Oh, so
Do I have weddings in my mind because this wedding last Friday for some of you might know Maria, Maria, and got married on Friday and then another woman her son was getting married soon, September sometime. And isn't that kind of a cognitive commitment to get married? It could be premature. It could also be mature. I think there's some commitments we make intentionally I suppose a cognitive commitment to So, you know, certain kind of commitments, so vows in Buddhism the idea of vows are very important. The commitment to certain vows etic cognitive commitment is in the form of a perspective I suppose I suppose you're right that for that all perspectives, if we commit ourselves to it are premature, but not all intentions. So, you can certainly commit yourself to certain intentions and so is the Zen master Suzuki Roshi. He encapsulated Buddhism in three words, at least he did it on one day. And you know, I'm sure he didn't always do this because the very thing that he said means you shouldn't be committed to this. But he said, the essence of Buddhism is not always so. So you're right. Cognitive commitments are premature.
by Sharon Salzberg you know, kind of examining what's
what is it that brings me a lot. And perhaps there are some things that are
happening and commitments
that are healthy, but I just don't know. I mean, I kind of have doubts about whether when I make a guide
yeah, the you know, general approach in Buddhist practice is strategic meaning that your words put us were skillful means. So is it skillful is a strategic for a certain purpose, if your purpose is to become more alive, is this view that you want to hold for a while? Is it strategic to help you get that in that direction. So, some teachers will say, the view that things are impermanent, even though you haven't really don't have the insight yet, to have that view is very strategically useful. Because it helps loosen up the attachments of the mind and helps you then eventually get deeper insight. So, you know, be committed to that for a while until, you know, until you see for yourself, they might say, so that might be helpful. So there might be particular things which are helpful for a while. But the idea that, you know, this is the way things are once and for all. You know, it's a bit dangerous to have an idea that mind is fixated on this is the way things are, to have ideas is that this is why things are likely to be probably fine. Anyway, this is my ideas. What are some of you? Some of you? That's an interesting question he asks. So what are some of the rest of you think about this topic?
Yes, I was just thinking that the term premature cognitive
seems to imply that it's just positive. And that's why
as opposed to something that's positive and aligned with like an internal core of ethics or an internal sense, or something skillful, something from the heart. So when the two are aligned, the cognitive and the heart aspect, good it's not premature.
In the present
at all, only when it's it's led by the head
I thought that was
nice, but maybe then we should drop the word commitment. Because if we're trying to do is align the heart and the mind, then there's no need for commitment means you're holding on to it. You're carrying it with you as a kind of preconceived idea that you can hold this, you know, approach everything with. And it might be that it's relatively true. Like they Buddhism says the idea of impermanence is a true nature of you know, aspect of reality. But it's possible to be committed to that idea of impermanence in a way that's not helpful. And it's not really doesn't really come from insight doesn't really come from a deep, you know, realization of a heart. But if you really have you have a deep insight, then you might always have that perspective. But it's not because it's a cognitive overlay, right where there's a constantly renewed inside. So maybe the word commitment is the problem. But, you know, some commitments, you know, we want to put on just, you know, have strategically. I mean, the cognitive commitment that to the usefulness of paying your taxes. You know, there's a lot of people who really want you to have that commitment. So we thought, Okay, well, we'll do that.
Yes, sir. You had about the cascading thoughts you hadn't written that.
really reminds me of something that I certainly do. And I think a lot of people do. And that is just jumping to conclusions and then jumping to conclusions from the conclusion to jump to where, oh, if this happens, well, Oh, God, that will happen. And then he'll find out about it. He'll do this and then she'll do it off you go. You ratchet yourself up into a state over a sequence of things. That In my case, usually never happens. All right. You Go through all the suffering.
And I think that's what I went through my mind.
That's a good, that's maybe a better term, premature conclusions. Yes, maybe easier than this technical word cognitive commitment, premature conclusions. And sometimes they can one leads to another. And what could be interesting is in the study of turning the attention backward into the kind of background to what's happening, to realize the anxiety that's fueling it, because there might be some anxiety and that anxiety propels us to have the next conclusion, the next one, proof we can rest with anxiety, things, it doesn't have to go anywhere and to work
on all kinds of ridiculous premises to be able
to see what maybe will never come to be at all. You know, I obviously, speak about this because I watch myself do it. Maybe that helps. Now, that one's yours, but I think we all do
Yeah, it's very like possible that, that I realized that I'm so much happier without a computer. I feel so much more liberated and, you know, and, and why would anybody want to have a computer? You know, and, and I'll just, you know, feel so light and easy and so much time. And I'll just, you know, emails that's you know, that's a primitive thing of the past and maybe I'll be really happy now. Other people be irritated with me.
I don't know. It doesn't start to push the button. Everyone's proof and then it doesn't start. Oh, yeah. Yes.
I'm gonna jump to conclusions. I remember
the worst things most of the worst days of my life never happened.
So say that out loud.
Mark Twain said something like when, when I was when I was 14, I thought my father was just such a dance. But by the time I was 20 I was amazed how much he developed. book that
you spend us stories about?
Yes. The background that you were talking about to me
really is important because it's so easy You need to be caught up in the discursive thoughts and to take them seriously. Because I'm very action oriented person. So I automatically assume that any thought that comes through my mind I should act on. Reading the Dalai Lama's assertion has been very useful to me, because I've never heard as well articulated what that background is, you know, where the empty municipal phenomena come out. So I appreciate the fact that you mentioned that today.
Yes, I just I'm currently studying a change practice culture. And in that practice, we talked to the boards and found it was interesting as we were filming our meditation is when we're talking about asking my wife, okay, where's that anger, and it's an opportunity once you get to the root of it, to bring Goblin kindness as part of the Chico practice. That's Sometimes we often don't allow ourselves when we're judging ourselves. So I think that's kind of a plus. So maybe that's okay.
Cognitive commitment is like that may give us some sort of happiness
should save you more to get into that state.
Maybe, yeah, the what were your words, remind me that a little bit different from changing perspectives that change your relationship. So sometimes we want to change our relationship to our experience. And so one of the ways one of the changes it's often recommended is to bring loving kindness to it to bring kindness.
Horses make the same kind of
everywhere. Much so you all know the story of the Intel it again. You want it you want to tell it
it's told many different versions but some when I heard it was some some fella who lived all old farmer who had a son young son, young man, sometimes young man. They farm together in a very poor piece of mountainous farm and eking out an existence and just barely getting by. And one day the old man went up into the mountains, and he found his beautiful horse, wild horse, beautiful, strong young stallion stallion. He brought it back. And the neighbor said, Oh, you're so lucky. Now you can farm a lot more fields and be a lot easier and you'll raise a lot more crops. You have a much better lifestyle and, and the old man said, Oh, we shall see. Or maybe so and and then his son tried to train the horse and the horse through the sun and he broke his leg. And the neighbor said oh this is terrible How could now you don't have your your son to help you with a farm and you certainly can't do it on your own you're sold and now you know you'd barely making an existence now you're not gonna be able to survive at all. This is terrible for you. Maybe so we shall. We shall see. We'll see. And, and so then the king of the country declares war in the neighboring country and he conscripts all the young men but his son can't fight because he has a broken leg. So the neighbors Oh, you're so lucky. All the other young men are going off. But you're also staying behind because he's like he broke his leg and, and this is really great. And so the the old man says We'll see. The story doesn't have an end. But I think you got the gist of it. It goes on like we shall see you don't you don't know how things gonna work out you don't know what's gonna happen. We'll see.
last one, yes.
I had a question about the
reviews to impermanence.
No, so the unsatisfactory part refers to
Yeah, yeah, the Pali word for the stuka, which is usually translated as suffering, but often enough in explaining it in this, this one in this category in this situation, is translated as unsatisfactory and that makes a lot more sense. I believe for, you know that it's, it's it's, it's the word Duka is a kind of wide range of meanings and so probably means other things besides just suffering. But the unsatisfied unsatisfactory for the poor, you know who these things that we want to get us to action for,
so that when you pull back they don't
expect me to necessarily gain satisfaction. A situation I could say, angry in the conflict and
I can feel that I'm feeling disappointment. That's part of what's going on for the whole document. On May may or may not Stop, the conflict can happen in other words from flying the feelings that I feel that disappointment and then remembering
that I will have that discipline that you will feel disappointment.
Yeah, maybe so the the, it's very useful to drop back and feel what's going on because then you're we're less likely to act impulsively or unconsciously from those feelings, you know, say something we didn't mean to say. So take responsibility for how we're actually feeling. The I think the idea is we're not depending on our own sense of well being or feeling at home or being at peace is not not dependent on the resolution of a conflict. It doesn't mean we don't try to it doesn't mean we don't necessarily feel some kind of disappointment or it doesn't work out. But we're not disappointed some deep way because we've kind of invested our own happiness in the outcome of the conflict. So there's unsatisfactory as a source of permanent security permanent well being permanent feeling at home in this universe. If I resolve this conflict, you still might want to try to resolve it, but we're not depending on it for our DPS.
What is the word for premature
or the poly? I don't know the Pali word for it, but the literal translation of the poly would be upside down thinking
Great. Thank you.