Social Integration and Deviance
12:28PM Aug 14, 2019
Is to extend yesterday's conversation about friendship because one of the things I was point that I was trying to make yesterday when we were discussing friendship was, these are the most formative elements of your experience at any at any level, whether you're six, whether you're 16, whether you're 26, whether you're 66, the bottom line is at some in some form, or fashion, social experience guides what it means to be human. And there are interesting tears, we said this yesterday, that you have close pockets of friends, and then you have these larger Connexions or acquaintances. And sometimes it extends out beyond that kind of like you have three levels now, you know, formerly used to have to, you would have the interpersonal ring of people you were close to, and then sort of those social party people that you ran into frequently, right. And now you even have a larger ring. And that larger ring is usually some kind of social media connexion. So you might be connected to more people UT campus through this sort of social media outer ring. And therefore you have these multiple tiers, and sometimes those tears in our eyes, and it's always an awkward thing, when they interact, you're not really sure how to keep those boundaries. in play, you have this kind of thing, these are my, these are my cronies. These are the people I party with. These are the people I snap and follow or whatever. And it's, it's strange when these cross over, this is not such a bad one. But this one is weird. In a lot of times, the people that are out here, don't get into this, when and how they're formed is usually pretty unique. But what I want to try to suggest to you is that this one behaves according to these, they don't behave according to their own rules, they adopt the rules of the larger social network, and the larger social community. Even if you're not participating in the things that are out there. They have formative power. So that's what I want to try to describe Everybody with me so far. Okay. So really quickly, give me some feedback. Talk to me about your experience with this sort of stuff, not just hooking up, I'm not saying hey, give me a list of your partners. What I'm saying is like, is this a part of your high school? Sort of the party scene? What role does sports play in that? Like, has that been a part of your social experience with schooling as a whole? For better or worse?
You're not getting in trouble. Like, I'm not reporting you to someone.
I won't even say your name on the recording.
It wasn't part of my high school experience wasn't part of my collegiate experience. But it was always there sort of in the background, or your party people or no. I'm asking how much has this? Okay, so there's this strange phenomenon, where people think of college, they need to go to college party, right? Research suggests that only about 15, maybe 20% of college students actually really engage in those things heavily as a third of college students that just don't give a damn, they're doing their thing. They're nerds, whatever. There are other people in the middle, that feel pressure to abide by those party principles. In so there's a small section of the college group that's doing the college thing, what we know to be the college thing, but it's so powerful. It's such a powerful image. It's such a powerful symbol that we all sort of adopted as the norm. So I'm from so for me, I was in that bottom third. parties, not my thing. I don't know what to do. So I just wasn't in that world. But it was still in the consciousness of a college student. And when I'm college, I am a college student. I'm thinking, I'm walking around believing that's what people are doing. When I'm asking you, is that consistent with your experience? Is that part of your experience? Are you in that 15% of group of people who are really into that? Are you more in that middle group that like knows that it's there and feels inclined to do it, but not really sure. Are you in that bottom third that says I just don't I'm not really that's not my thing?
bottom third, not your thing. Okay.
No, you do like, Okay.
Okay, so you're pretty regulated like weekend? Yes. Not during the week. Okay. So are most of you in that camp? Or are you like a Tuesday night? Wednesday night? Thursday night, Friday night? Ok.
Ok. Ok. Ok.
does it differ between males and females?
Women want to go more or less?
Tell me what you mean. Well, what you like, you mean, like, what do you want to like, go dancing? Or were there is there like, okay, so is a party. primarily a room full of people with red solo cups, wondering from table to table drinking games? Or is it primarily Sarah, like, talk to me about the standards at parties? Like what are the structures that you see?
Okay, that's pretty close to what happens.
only been to one college party my life, I think, Oh, yeah. I wasn't even when I was in college. It was like 25.
Yeah, so yeah, now I died.
There wasn't my thing. I told you this before. I'm walking around asking people about their degree plans and like what they're interested in and like,
dude, you know?
Yeah, so I'm asking, so, Miss Cammisa
says regulated, maintain academic integrity. Make sure party on the weekends. Do you think that has to do with your high school cycle? Like you did that because you still live at home? Like That was the regulation is that going to change here? Cuz you're gonna have like, you know, their bars down the strip within walking this since with Tuesday night cover charges that are like $1 for ladies type thing.
That whatever. Yeah. Okay.
Is her description very honest and fair? I appreciate consistent with the rest of you or is okay. All right. So you're the only one so far that said, not not my thing.
Anybody else? not my thing.
Okay, so you're you're more interested with going with a bunch of buddies, male or female to something like go bowling or something like that. I know, that sounds like a silly example. But sometimes that can be fun. Okay, okay. Okay, so when you some people say that people say I party. And they use that as a verb really easily. And it's so ambiguous to me they. So? Yeah, so what does it mean to say, I like to go out and hang out my friends do laser tag, but I like to party. There's a clear line there. What does it mean to party? Okay.
Really? Think that would be great.
so the alcohol is the line shows?
Okay, so it elevates the event.
If you don't drink and you go to a party, if you go to a party and you drink at the party, like you go someplace, and there's not drinking that just Okay, so if so, under that rubric, let me just ask, if my buddies and I decided to go to the pub, and we all have a beer. Are we partying?
No, we're talking about our wives.
Okay, so that's different. Okay. Okay, so the dancing or the playing has to be a critical part.
I don't have any idea what it means to go uptown.
I don't know what that means. So talk to me about Tell me.
Ok. So traditionally, in non high school with those same structures in place, like la groups dancing, alcohol. Okay. So the reason I ask this is because I just want to make sure that some of the some of the research assumptions that have been made about these things that whether they're consistent with your experience, and and remarkably, they are, do you all feel? Some research suggests that folks in that middle bracket, not that lower third, but at that, and not that upper 15%?
sort of, I wouldn't say pressured because it sounds like we're back in high school don't do drugs. I think what I mean is feel like that's the norm. Is that your sense of college that the norm includes the party atmosphere? Okay. Okay. So even if you're not a party hound, there's still this sort of sense in your mind that that's what's happening around you. Okay, yeah. So it's interesting, you use the word involved. So talk about that, like, does is the is the sort of general belief that you're going to go to a party, and what's the purpose of the party? Right, okay. So to what extent to gain knowledge of somebody else like to be friend, other people? Is it for strict exposure? Like?
So would you be willing to equate partying with posting? Meaning like, when you talk to someone at a party, you don't really have conversation as much as you do posting?
So posting structures work like this, you say, like one or two simple sentences, you always give the best of yourself, you show a photograph on in social media, that we're putting you in a positive light, so that the other person will kind of thumbs up? You? Right? And so is that kind of what's happening at parties is that you're giving a certain presentation of yourself to these other people so that they'll walk away with a positive thumbs up of you. Would you say those things are consistent or no? I know if I don't think of them that way. But do you? Would you say that they're parallel? In terms of what kind of connexion you're getting from people?
No, maybe. Okay,
tell me what selfish having fun is. How do you have fun selfishly. But you wouldn't do it alone. Like you're not turning on the boombox in the bedroom, and like banging it out by yourself. So the other people have to be there to watch you. Like, it's critically important that the other people see you.
Is that not fair?
You need to be recognised the right. I mean, if you go to the party, you're back in the corner. You dance with no fellas, for ladies, I have no idea where you're at? If you have none of that, is the party valuable or No?
If I go to a party by myself,
and no friend group with me, dress like this. And I sit and I sit in a chair and watch people. Exactly. That's exactly what I'm wondering is like, one of the things that's so interesting is that parties, the research suggests that when people are interviewed, cautious or interviewed about their party life, they they describe it as if it's spontaneous, we just like to kind of like, it's like rolling up the ball in gym class, like a basketball games just going to pop up. So you just roll out the alcohol and red solo cups, and boom, the party happens, right? You just roll it out. But the interesting thing is, there are these rigid set of rules and expectations that are so deep below the surface, you don't know that they're there. And so my goal is not to show you that those rules are bad or good. But to show you that social expectations and structures shape your daily experience. And it's important as a college student to recognise that what you believe to be the case is like, Oh, well, the school tells me what to do. And I've got to do this homework. So I'm gonna go here and party, because you think of the party is the counterbalance to the homework. The party is like freedom, loose, fully motion, whatever I want, however I want, whereas the school is control power, debt force, they make me do this stuff. And we think those things are in contradistinction. But in reality, the party is very much a socially organised principle, as a sports. For example, if I go, I say the same thing about sports, if I show up at a UT football game, dress like this, and sitting over on on my stoop in my chair doing this, right, I'm a weirdo, because there are social norms and expectations that are coded into the football game that you're supposed to behave under. And a lot of people go to a football game saying, Oh, it's, you know, it's free. It's desire. It's fanaticism, I just can cut loose. But the reality is, there is a certain social parameter. And so what I want to demonstrate is that the social parameters make you what you are, there's no such thing at some level, as an individual. If you could subtract if you say, No, I am me, I am who I am. Nobody tells me what I am, I would beg you, and ask if you if you can subtract all the places where someone has influenced you. Subtract all the memories that have shaped you, subtract all the people that have given you your personality, subtract all the social experiences, and show me what you have left, that's you,
you're gonna have a really hard time finding a you without all those are the things. So what it suggests is, is that at some level, the social environment is the thing that's giving us identity. And this isn't unusual, everybody's this way. We have a couple weeks ago, we did this campus resources project, because I told you that the research suggests if you're involved in a group that you'll stay, that if you get connected to something that you'll stick college out. And most of the people that quote, get weeded out of college or drop out really are people who are lonely, or really people who get disconnected don't find themselves to fit within this environment. Of course, we talked about that yesterday with some other things. This Phil Alexander asked him was big and pushing that movement of saying students need to get involved in college at some level. But I think unfortunately, professors, teachers and school administrators have believed this too far the wrong direction, what they see here, and Alexander asked, and they say, well, they need to get involved in college. So we just need to create more programmes, we need to create more clubs. And you know, as well as I do, you are like a noxious a overwhelmed with clubs, right? You can go through the library, and there are hallways and rows of people trying to pitch their club to you. And it's noxious, and it's artificial, and you feel like you're signing up for something that's going to be burdensome, and it's going to tax you. And it's going to be something that requires more than you want to give. And so the inverse of that, the inverse of that is that it's sort of these sorts of things, right? These are the things that you're proposed, like, Oh, do service learning experience, or learning, go to counselling, go see the career development, those things, the school thinks they're giving you to integrate you to give you social significance. But it's not those things that give you social significance. It's all the other stuff, dorm life, eating lunch together, bickering about a ball game, going to a party, so on, so on, so on, is that making sense? So far, it's those things. So I want to explore a little bit about why those things are so powerful. And the reason I'm doing is is again, not to tell you to not go to parties, but to just show you how these things work. My goal throughout the class, the whole time has been to just put the reality in front of you schools like this, it's full of that conversations like this, this is how they work. Here's how academia works. Here's what humans are, here's what's happening with technology, I want to put all of that stuff in front of you so that you're able to be more free. So here's the idea, George Herbert made bloomer, this is the the idea of symbolic interaction is that human beings act towards things on the basis of meanings that the things have for them that and the, the meaning of those things is derived from social interaction. So these first two senses are saying this, most of what we think about the self, ourselves, are defined by what we think we need to attach ourselves to symbols of power, okay, symbols of significance. So for example, one symbol of significance that you've grown up with is a college degree. Right? a college degree says, You've made it, or you're you've done something important, you measure up. The second sentence is saying, the power of the college degree is informed by the group. So here's the college degree, the college degree is a symbol of significance. And when I say symbol of significance, it actually doesn't do anything in itself. It doesn't do anything. It's an arbitrary set of numbers in a computer, and on a piece of paper on your wall. But we give it significance. And I want to define myself by that, I might first hit my family to go to college, and I'm going to I'm going to graduate from college, and I'm going to be something I've assigned significance to this thing. But the question is, where did this significance come from? Where did the significance that this has come from, from all of us? The whole group plant significance on this thing? And therefore what's happening is, I'm trying to gain an identity by getting the thing that the group says is important. Are you following me here? All right, this is how we work. So the third premise is that these meetings are handled a modified through and interpretive process, we come to understand who we are informed self definition by embracing the attitudes of significant others with whom we interact. Here's the key. So if I want this, because it has social significance, the group has given it that once I get it, it lets me know that I'm important, because I feel affirmed by you. All. Right, you all are conferring power onto me. You're telling me Yeah, you're significant, because you have this Is this making sense. So think about if I can put this over in sports, it works the same way. A championship means nothing.
Right? Not really, it doesn't do anything. It's a trophy that sits in a hole. It's just, it's an artificial symbol. But because there's a gigantic network of people who love sports, and who are putting energy into this, it elevates the significance of that thing. Making this person wants to go get that thing, in order to be recognised by the group. This is exactly how popularity worked in high school. This group of people conferred power on this particular act, that act could have been dating the popular girl dating the popular guy, winning this being a sports hero, whatever that symbol was, the group conferred power on it. So you wanted to go get it in order to be recognised by the group. And that's not, that's not unusual, everybody's doing that, inside of your family, your family has constructed power, or put significance on certain things that you want to go after. So you go after them, here's the The same thing happens with party is that the social life of college constructs certain symbols of significance. And our our identity is attached to those things, we get identity from the group, the group has given significance of that thing, we want to go get that thing. We feel like we're a part of the group. That's, that's precisely how it works. And finally become instantly take these description attributions that others make of us and internalise them as part of our identity. This is the weird part. So I take all of that process, I go back to the thing that's significant. You all have made it significant, you make me feel significant, because I have it. And I tell myself, that's who I am. So here, a lot of college students are here, a lot of high school students, and really a lot of adults say, Well, it depends on who you are. The opposite. What they're saying is, it depends on who you're with. That's the point. There is know who you are, who you are, is defined by who you've been with. So someone says, Well, this just comes for me, I'm just this way. Well, you weren't that way when you were a foetus, right. So at one point, you weren't that way. And then you were, well, how did you get from where it wasn't that way to I am, you joined some group, you took on the significance of some grouping. So you say, Well, I'm not you, me, we're not wearing the bottom third. Right. But we're still part of a group. We I have a look at me look at the way I'm dressed. Right? Like a fat old British guy who likes to drink coffee. I have attached myself to that ideal. That model. I've attached myself to it. And I like to tell myself, that's just who I am. That's horse Bucky. Right. It's, it's who I want to be. And it's because that group has conferred that significance on me. So this is something that Aston was onto, but didn't push far enough and realise that that's why college systems are so powerful. Why is the football game so powerful? Because the symbols of significance that it grants to people, it's why you'll put on orange clothing. And when you reject the orange clothing, you reject the group. So for example, I went to a football game a couple years ago, and they were doing the whole checkerboard the ends a checkerboard, the stands, right? You were in a section, you were supposed to wear white, in this section, associate orange, I showed up in a red shirt. And I exactly, I was ridiculed.
For not wearing my buddies that were with me, why did you do this? I said, because I'm not you know, I don't, I was intentionally trying to disassociate myself with the, with the organisation. And it's interesting that that caused me to sort of be repelled and rejected, because I didn't take on the symbols. So what I'm driving at here is, you can't underestimate the force of social belonging. It is what makes you human. It is how we work. You, if you disconnect yourself from every socially significant thing, you have nothing left. I mean, all of the stuff you say like, well, I just want to get a job. That's what I want. No, it's not. Don't you understand that the whole thing called America is a gigantic group that's conferred significance on certain careers and not others. Which is why you don't pick garbage man, or fast food chain, retail worker, you don't pick those things. Because our our social experience has conferred weakness on those and power on others. So you say, I don't want to be in food. I don't want to be in a restaurant all my life. You say, Well, that's just because that's not what I want. No, no, no, you're part of the group. You're imbibing. It's become part of your identity. You say, No, no, it's because I've worked in a restaurant, and I hate it. Right? And then I say, No, you hate it. Because while you're working at the restaurant, you have another ideal about what you're doing close to get what you deserve. The reason you hate these drugs that you work with at the restaurant, is because you think you're better. You think you deserve a different life. And what I'm saying is that belief of I deserve I am came from a larger group, which says, This is what's supposed to happen. You're supposed to get out and get a job and get work and buying gain power. I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying that's how reality is structured. I'm saying that's how identity is structured. That's an okay thing. Just know that it's there. That's why, again, these these systems, like ballgames and parties are always going to be a part of college, because you're at a stage where your identity is negotiable. Do you understand what I mean by that, like, you could rearrange, you're going to find a little brown, my junior year, I started to change, what you should be saying is, I started changed because I got a change group hung out with these people, I stopped going to this, well, you're just it's, you know, that game. People play back in high school, where it was that computer game was a bunch of big blobs, and they like blurred into each other. To know that game, a Garner maybe was the name of it, you remember that one. So it's like that, that is the way it works. They're just big groups of things that like blend together. And then other big groups of things. There's no like leaving the group behind. And just being me. If you're leaving one group, you're joining another in one in one form or
fashion, and they could be joining this one,
like, I'm not going to go hang out with anybody to sit in my room and be on the computer. That's an option as well. But ultimately, the principle is I am because we are that's how it works. And every group that you're a part of you slowly acclimate to that group, their stages that you go through, when you're newcomers in an organisation, you feel a certain way, and I say, organisation, you think we're talking about a job. Now I'm saying no, like even college, when you first come to college, you're trying to facilitate your relationship with the school in order to craft your identity in that group. There's a first stage is first stage of kind of like nerves and confusion and what you're supposed to be do might be doing and you have anticipation of things. And then there's second stages and third stages, and so forth. This is why by the time you get to like stage four, stage five, you look back on stage one and think what was I doing then, like, why did I hang out with these people? Somebody even said it yesterday, one of my students said, you know, when I first got here, and I first started looking around hanging out with people, I thought I wouldn't want to be with this person. And I thought I would want to be with that one. But now five weeks later, it's flip flopped, and I hang out with this person, I don't want to be around that one. So acclimating yourself to a group is difficult, and it takes time. What's interesting about parties, though, is they shortcut that process. Right? Because they shortcut it, you don't have to stay the party is so short lived, it lasts for whatever, six or seven hours it's been given. And so you can go to that social environment, abide by the social rules in in hyper speed, join the group, and then the group dissipates. So party parties promise, kind of proximate connexion where you can get there, hang out. And then if you don't like what you're becoming in that moment, it's fine. Because it's going to be open, there'll be another party the next weekend, right? Just making sense. So it gives you a kind of way to it's kind of like a hyper speed group, connexion so far, what do you think? What do you think about my claim that you don't have an identity? You are what your group is? That's pretty bold.
It's pretty aggressive. What do you think? Mm?
Hmm. See, I'm saying the opposite. I'm saying you need to find other people and only then you find yourself. There is no yourself before you find the others is what I'm saying. What you can vehemently disagree with, it doesn't hurt my feelings, I might smash your cheese. But
that's what his that was Meads point was that you find whatever that group says is powerful, and you long for it. You look at it, and you say, I want that thing. Because that thing indicates that you can become a part of this group. So let's say you're in this room. And everybody in here is nerdy. Right, and everybody's got straight A's. This group has conferred by conferred I mean, put on two grades, social significance. And if you get an A, you're important, if you don't get it, you're bad. You come in, and you see that the group thinks that A is important. So you either have one or two options. One, one option is you look at that thing, and you say I desire it too, because you don't say it out loud. But you struggling after a, you say well, that's who I am. I just want the a, well, what's really happening is you want the A because the group XDA. Or you could say screw the AI, what's wrong with these people? Because you have low self esteem or feel like you can't get it. But it's not because it's just you doing it? It's because you've replaced that with another socially significant thing somewhere else in another group, you say, I don't want as I want life.
Between the two, what would be in between?
Right? Because what I'm saying is the reason you won't be upset because of the A is because there's something else you think is important. Something else where you think is important. Let's say it's a religious life. Maybe you've assigned yourself to a religious organisation. And you say, you know, what A's aren't that important, I'd like to get an A but it's not that important, because my supreme loyalty is not to the age group, but to the religions group. And the religions group says that the most socially significant things can be caring for people so I can suffer not having the powerful thing over here because I have this thing. And I say, well, that's just my identity. What it means is, this group is more important to me than this group is, is what I'm saying is there's no such thing as I'm just responding to that as a self. I'm always relating to that as a part of another group one way or the other. Do y'all follow what I'm saying here? What do you think?
You think nothing.
I'm basically telling you, you're empty black holes with no identities.
Yeah, well, that's fine. You still have a group? You have you have group loyalties that you don't know that are there, right. What I mean by that is like, you might not be a card carrying member of American capitalism. You know, you don't like I have go to meetings, but you're in it. you value the things that that group has said is valuable. If somebody walks in and says, I think, why is it sheep farmer an option? Cheap farmer, because it's doesn't have social significance. Our brains are already inclined to think job. We say we're job we think career, we think career, we think paycheck, or our social environments so powerful, that we don't even think about what we want, because it's already been given to us. Steve Jobs, you know, this, this is, Steve Jobs once said, People don't know what we want until until we show them or people don't know what they want to show them. his point was that people wanted an iPad. So we made one that was assumed people wanted it. So we provided it around, we provided it and made them want it. And what I'm saying is, that's how groups function. So in large part, what we call our identity really should be called our loyalty, like, what we're associated, what movement were associated with what vision were associated with, and parties are really, the reason I keep bringing this back to parties or college social life, is that college offers you these little micro groups, like parties or football games that take the edge off a little bit. Because the pressure to find out who you are to find out what group you belong to what associations you're going to have the rest of your life can be offset by having little micro groups, these little micro parties and micro events, where you quickly blend in, and it quickly dies. So you do it on a micro scale, instead of a large scale. It's also why when students leave college, they don't miss everyone says and they found the group that they sort of find their identity and and then when they leave college, and that group is no longer there. They suffer from a tremendous amount of disorientation. They start asking themselves at 23 years old, who am I? What am I doing with my life? Why is it this way, and they go back to live in their college town and get a masters and all of their friend group is gone, they still have that same question. And they're trying to filter out and figure out which group group to be a part of. So the first critical point that I'm making is, don't treat social life as if it's the food court. God, that's not the way it works. In fact, you've already made your choices, you're there. But the here's the weird thing is they're not permanent. You get involved in in groups, and you don't stay there forever, you transform, you move, you shift, you change, other groups become more alluring, the significance is placed on other things become more alluring, you can be a fan of sports, and then and then stop mean, it took me five years to get the agent orange needle out of my arm. But I just want to point out that like friends yesterday, are more complicated than we give credit for. So his social life is much more complex than we give it credit for.
So we typically,
this is what when numerous said you have these little micro groups. So these little micro groups offer you the power to treat them, like what I'm calling Goldilocks groups, they're little out there, they're a little here. Not too hot, not too cold. And what's really wild about parties, and I haven't been to a lot, but research indicates this is they have these so much shift here, okay, I'm going to shift I don't want to lose you. So I'm saying first point is that social life is really complex, and it gives identity. Now I'm going to switch over to these little micro social organisations that are short lived, they have short shelf lives, they come and they go, those are like parties, football games, etc.
Those themselves, they look free.
They look like, oh, there's such a heavy burden on identity and group over here. The parties are so free and easygoing and relaxed, and they give me a way to sort of let off steam. What I want to suggest is that there are they to have our little micro social situations, they have a rigid set of social rules. And they even asked you like if there's alcohol there or not there. If there's dancing there or not there, whether you're by yourself, or you're with a friend group. And notice you were told me all of them. If the alcohol is not there, it's not really a party. If there's not like play in dancing, but you're like sitting at the pub with your buddies talking about something that's not quite a party. So there are boundaries, their edges, and they are defined, but nobody talks about them. You don't like say we're going to throw a party, let's go to the party checklist that that that right doesn't happen. But you have this intuitive sense that this is what you're supposed to be doing.
So this party right
here, is informed
by the whole
idea of college partying has established these rules, these boundaries for what has to happen, and you just embrace them. you embrace the college expectations about this, you don't talk about them, you just perform them. And notice that, and I don't know if I've mentioned this before, it's weird. It's like if you look at it under this rubric, instead of thinking, I like to party and I like people, if you can stop thinking about yourself for a second and what you like, and step back and look at it as an event and examine it like that, what you see is like this weird animal mating ritual, right? Because you have like people sweating, and dancing. And they're in the abbreviated. So their inhibitions are are different. And as a result that you have people that are like heavily doused in pheromones, and Cologne, right, because you know, you're going to be in close proximity with other people, which is what animals would be doing right? If you walk around, you see a bunch of dogs sniffing each other's hands, right. And so we're all doing this like as 19 year olds, like, slipping by people with the cup, you smell everybody, you're next to you feel everybody you're next to, and you're doing it on purpose, like you want to feel them without being a creep. You want to smell them without being a creep. So what's the structure that we provide so that you can smell and sniff people without being in trouble? It's called dancing. Right? You get out here and you like gesticulate and move. It's like a strange sort of ancient tribal dance, you're testing each other out on the dance floor, like you're trying to check and see if this is a proper mate or not. And it's weird. It's like, instead of having peacock feathers, we just have loud music and rave lights going everywhere. Right? And it's smoky, and it's hazy, you can't get a clear perspective. So you can sort of hide underneath all that's at least in these clubs, it's that way seems sort of hide under the veneer of things. And as I said the other day, you'll notice that there are two levels of structure, you're abiding by the big principles, the big purple principles here of what college party should be like. But you're also abiding by the lock of your group, you came with four or five other people, your boyfriends or girlfriends, whatever. And as you're dancing out here, in this weird mating ritual, you have to check back with these people to make sure that the other person is acceptable. I've said this before, haven't I? Right? Because if they're not acceptable, that you're in, you run the risk of losing this group, right? If I date, if I hook up with this person, dancer, this person spend too much time with this person. And notice also the people that are out here dancing with each other, they can't be too serious, right? Because if they're dancing, and then, you know, he does the whole, like bachelor thing. Can I borrow you? I always love that phrase. And don't they use that in the bachelor? Can I get some time with you? So he says, Let's go over here, they start to talk and he starts to express his undying love to her. All of a sudden the social rules snapped in half, right? That's what he's not allowed to do. Maginot, we're at the party. We're dancing. And I'm like, can I? Can I get you another beer? Hey, I just been thinking about you a lot. and spending time in class together and I start this is professing my deep affections. How many are feeling like this is getting weird. Right? Pardon? It's awkward, right? It's so bizarre, because this ritual is designed to put
people into a romantic
checkpoint, but only to an extent.
You're not allowed to actually care about the person.
If you do,
you actually compromise your ability to do this group. Because you get quote connected to that person. If you end up dating them, then this whole like, system, this cultural arrangement is prohibited or could be prohibited, no things change. And we have names for people that do that if they get too close. And they actually engage with one another emotionally, we either call her psycho or him stalker. Right. But that doesn't mean that you can't exchange fluids, if you know what I mean. Right? I could draw a picture because some of you look like you don't know what I'm talking about. Okay, thank you. That grimace is when I was looking for. But you can, right? But you're supposed to maybe even maybe get together. But you're not necessarily supposed to be serious about it. And you'll you'll notice also Is this a really fascinating is that these people are social status points, right? Sometimes the goal is to land this person, because all of these people wanting to land to that person. Right. And if you get them their trophy in your in your case, you're in your cabinet. Now, I'm not saying all of you go to parties to use people, what I'm saying is look at the social structure of how these things work. They're not just quote, I like it. They're not just, I just want to go there. systems that say, to be here to be in this, there's certain set of principles and expectations. And there's certain value structures, these value structures are the things that you abide by, if you go, like I've said before, if you go to these things, and notice, you should always go with a group, you normally always go with other people, right? Like I said, if I showed up by myself, that already sets off red flags to be right. I could just be a really friendly, amiable fellow. But you don't think that because I'm not abiding by the social principles. So they have very strict structures and rules, powerful ideas about what you should be doing. It should be casual. There's, as you said, alcohol is involved. Notice that alcohol operates as an excuse for emotional intimacy. Right? You it's actually, you sober, must say sober sex, or sober, sober interactions are much more threatening than drunk interactions. Because the drunk interactions provide you a buffer, it was the alcohol. You know what I mean? You don't have to take responsibility for behaviour, you can say, the alcohol produced this environment. And so it's really fascinating. That's why it's a prerequisite for this casual social environment, where you can be a part of the group, as freely as it as it might appear,
your people you approve up.
Now, the reason I've been making all of these points is again, please don't walk away and think he's trying to tell. So I'm going to parties when I'm not, it's not what I'm doing. What I'm doing is I'm trying to say that social structures form your identities. And the best way to see that is in these little things called parties, their micro groups that lets you see how structures form your desires and what you want. Well, if that's happening in a party in six hours, on a weekend, how much more powerful is a football identity? Or how much more powerful is a commercial money, wealth identity? There, they're shaping you all the time. As these academic identities, the group of academic is shaping what you think you need? So here's the next question, what happens when you don't fit in? Like, what, what if groups are so important to my identity? And they're going to give me who I am? What happens when you break it, or you get rejected or things don't belong? So deviance is that is a behaviour that violate social norms. And a lot so dismissed to go here just a moment ago was that if you want to violate one group, oftentimes, it's because you're aligning with another group. Does that make sense? You don't want to do this thing, because you have this other backup in your mind. Criminal type colleges can help us here. So Robert Mertens types are interesting. But he says there are different kinds of deviance. And what's funny is don't just think about parties here. But maybe think about academics and cheating. Okay, they're different types of rebels, people that want to reject social groups. So the more powerful social group is, you'll find these deviants. The first type of deviant is the innovator. So if there's somebody who's a part of a social group, like, let's take, let's take the Steve Jobs's of the world, the social group that's called computer science does it this way, their regular set of norms, so on and so forth, you get someone like a Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, they get fired, or don't get recognised. And so what they do to reject the social group is they innovate. Same way with the party. If I reject the party, in the environment, I'll innovate, I'll go and create something else. Because I'm deviating from the social norm. If, for example, it's school, and you're saying school is a crappy social world, some people go innovate, they create other kinds of schools. So innovation is its own kind of deviation. This is where innovation innovators except the goals of a society, but they reject the means. You following that? So if if school says, you should do all this work, in order to get this education, goals, goals means the means to get the education is grades, the innovator says, I agree we should have the education, but not grades, let's do something else. You can see how I'm a deviant. Right? I mean, my class is structured as a kind of deviance. I want to deviate from that. I want to say I like the goal of education. I hate the means of grades. So that's one level of deviation. Here's these are cheaters paid essays loopholes etc. Alternative systems, then you have what's called conformists conformist will accept the society's goals. And the socially acceptable means of achieving them. This is like non deviance This is they do what they're supposed to be doing. They obey,
Then you have the ritual lyst. The ritual lyst. Remember, goals and means the means to get the education right now is grades, education. The innovator says, I don't like the means the ritual says I don't care about the goal, they just go through the motions. I'm going to get the grades but have no idea why this is important. But I'm doing it because I'm supposed to the not really concerned about anything goal of just doing it. That's another form of deviance, they don't accept every piece of it. So to put this in terms that you might be familiar with, think about a group of five, okay, if you all, at least at some point in your life had five friends in the same group 432, maybe, all right, let's say anywhere from three, three to five, you have a social group of three to five people. Over time you develop social expectations, this is the way you're supposed to behave. You never say them out loud, you develop them together by applying social significance is certain things, these five people all hang out on Friday nights, you have a good time, right? So what you start doing is you start setting social expectations about when we're supposed to get together. It's just assumed on Wednesday before the Friday night football game, that we're going to go to this place to eat, we're going to go there, and then afterwards, we're going to do this. And if we're going to change any of those plans, we're going to talk to each other about it. Those are the social norms. Those are the norms that group are you following me? Yes or no? Okay. So there's Where's what happens after that? So a deviant comes along and says, I agree, we should all have fun together. But I don't like doing the football games anymore. The deviant says I'm rejecting a piece of the social enterprise, I'm rejecting the means the football game. So instead, I think we should do is we should go to this. I don't know, concert over here. That's the innovator. But the innovator is a deviant there, they all of a sudden feel like they don't fit in this social group anymore, because they don't accept all the principles. So they're trying to create an alternative to keep it going. The conformist. Just all you always have one of those in the group, right? They just do whatever the group says, and how the group says to do it
The ritualised is the person who does what the group says, but has no idea what they're doing. They're just along for the ride.
Are you following?
Okay, so these are forms of interacting with the group of how you do it. Then you have the person who retreats. This is that one girl in your group that just decides to reject the goals and the means and all of a sudden, you call this ghosting?
Right? pouffe. They're just not a part of it.
They just are disinterested.
They reject the goals and the means. academically. This is a person who says you know what, screw education, screw your grades, I'm out of here. And notice that even if they say I'm out of here, they will still accept some social norm, maybe not from academia, I missed the goal. Your said, if I'm a person that says I don't want education, or the grades, I don't want the goal or the means I do want something. So I go out here and get a job because that group makes sense to me. Then you have the rebel. The rebel is much like the retreat with an added countercultural movement, they offer alternative means of goals, it means angles on response to the rejection. So the retreat person just gives up the rebel goes and tries to create a resistance movement. These are ways to react. So let's go back to the five high school friends. They conform it says I'll do whatever everybody says and I'll I want what everybody wants. The ritual says I'll do it. Everybody says but you know what? I'm not really I have no idea where we're going with all this. The retreat person is the ghost or the rebel is the one who goes and finds four other girls to hang out with to resist this group. Taylor Swift and her posse. Right? That group of people can't stand that lady, man. But she's wildly successful. Maybe I'm just jealous. But that's what happens. You got the Jennifer Lawrence group over here and the Taylor Swift. Those are two different groups, aren't they? Aren't the Jennifer Lawrence people in the Taylor Swift people, different people? Nobody's telling me yes or no. So I'm assuming they're okay. I hope they're, that's what I'm assuming. But that's how these work. My point is this. social experiences give you identity. parties are like little micro groupings that show you exactly how powerful social symbols are. When you're part of a group, you're not always perfectly part of the group, sometimes you deviate from that group.
And these are different forms of deviation.
One more thing.
I fail to meet the group's expectations, and it makes me feel uncomfortable, here's how I cope with it. I have
to neutralise the problem.
Okay, I have to basically say, I had to do one of these like six things. I think about academia. If academia wants me to work hard, make good grades, get education, and I fail to do it. And I do something like I cheat.
Notice what's happened.
The means are study hard, get work hard, get good grades, and you will get your you will get your grades you will get your degree you will get your education you follow. I start saying I do something to deviate from that. I cheat. This is the innovator. The innovator says you're I want those grades, and I want that education. But I cannot work hard or take any more time doing it. So I'm going to innovate and create a shortcut. When I do that, I feel the group Look at me with some kind of disdain and disappointment,
When I feel alienated from that process, I have to excuse my behaviour, I have to explain why I did it to make me feel less anxious about having deviated from the group. And one of the things I do is deny responsibility. This is when I was helplessly propelled into failure. And under the same circumstance, any other person would resort similar actions. So what I do is I denied that it's my responsibility. The assignment was, I had to do it this way. I had no time left. I had my job was this way. I was working till nine o'clock at night. And then I had to take out my dog. And then my mom got sick, I had to. So we did deviated from the society's norms. And the way we cope with deviating from it is we had to neutralise our feeling of deviation by saying, hey, anybody in my shoes would have done the same thing. That's that's this
ain't my fault. It would have anybody would have done this. That's one strategy.
Another strategy is denied the injury. And this is like I wanted to do, but it hurt anybody mean? I got the grade, big deal. And it didn't didn't affect anyone believes action cause no harm to other individuals or the society. Now that's easy to see with academic right? So Akademi is work hard study, get grades in education, cheating, I say, Well, I had to cheat. It wasn't my responsibility. I had no time but little
or I say,
Hey, I cheated. So what does it hurt those students doesn't hurt the grade doesn't hurt anything else, not a big deal. If I took that same structure, and I'll put it over into, say,
I say someone says you're supposed to or sport you're supposed to do these things and train really hard. And then when this game,
or does something wrong, they say, hey, look, I had to my coach put me in a bad situation. People had major expectations of me, I had to do it. That's the knowledge runs ability. Denial of entry is Yeah, so I took performance enhancing drugs, but but didn't hurt anybody. It didn't improve my scores. It didn't improve my batting average. It didn't improve my status, it didn't hurt anybody. Same principle is that when you deviate from the social norm, you have to figure out a way of excusing it. This is the Nile, that Avik denial of the victim that if it does hurt someone,
they deserved it.
That effing teacher made it so effing hard to get this grade that I cheated, and it might have hurt that hurt that teacher, but damn it, they deserved it. Their jerk. They made it too hard for us. It's their fault, not mine. That's the denial of the victim. Nobody was victimised. The victim deserved it.
This is we do this is like
what's it called?
Those girls did that. So the not body shaming, but it's like victim shaming, or like, you know, slut walk that type stuff, the whole thing you get women who get sexually assaulted, right? Oh, they were looking for.
is that if you broke that social norm, you violated this person somehow you therefore. And so we do this all the time. Anytime we break the social norm or the group's expectations, we have to explain why we did it. We didn't have the traceability with the injury, deny the victim. And sometimes we there's condemnation of the consumers. This is Willie, we believe enforcement figures had the tendency to be equally deviant or otherwise corrupt. This is great. So this is when so I'm supposed to be working hard and do all this stuff in order to get the education. So I cheat, right? option one deny responsibility to do not hurt anybody three, blame the teacher
blame the system, or say that the system is just as corrupted you are you say, Yeah, you're right. I cheated. But you know what? That administrator cheats to that administrator cheats. And that guy cheats on his wife and that guy doesn't pay his taxes. So hey, look, we're hauling this right? We're just Sanders. That's much Sanders. All right. That's what we do. We can't we condemn the people who are punishing us. If people are punishing us, we'll just say, they're just as bad as we are. It's the old to Coke, white principle that YouTube, you did it as well. And this is what I was saying when Mr. goal here was that ultimately, when we break from any kind of social organisation, what we typically are doing is that we're appealing to higher loyalties. I didn't do what this society asked me to do, I deviated because their loyalties and values that go beyond the confines of this regulation,
morality or friendship,
this is exactly how at some level,
these type ology is by, by the way come from criminology. They don't come from academia, or excuse me, don't come from their academic, but I mean, they don't come from like sociological, academic things. They come from criminology, which is why do criminals, excuse their behaviour, deny responsibility I had to do it had to steal, I didn't have any food, how to steal denial of injury, I stole the bread, but it didn't hurt anybody. I mean, I do this all the time, right? I'll take a pouch from Target, and give it to my kids and then not pay for the pouch or throw it away. And
then I'll tell myself, that's target, I make billions of dollars in
the novel The victim, this would be like, again, they deserve that. Whoever I hurt, as in a crime, condemnation of the condemned as well, American judicial system is screwed up. They're a bunch of cheats anyway. And then appeal to higher loyalties would be well, I stole from those people, because I was given it to these poor, poor folks. And that's what my duty is as a XYZ type person. And so what these things we do all the time in our social arrangements are go back to those five, those five friends, whether it's girls guys mix, whatever, and maybe Claude and Claudia in there,
I don't know,
if you got these five people, this person all of a sudden violates the social norms in one way or the other. If they decide not to come to the event that we always go to every Thursday,
they start coming to it.
Or we always go and party on Tuesdays, we go uptown. We go uptown, and I'm going to go downtown, and we get mad at this person. So what this person does is they innovate, they rebel, they conform they ritualised, whatever. And usually if they have deviating, you'll notice that in the text threads when we're working out what this person did, we'll go through all of these. Wait, well, she says that she had to go there, that if she didn't go there that this would happen this way. That's knowledge wants ability. She's saying, well, I went to this other event, I stopped going to that because it was killing how much I had to get up for an eight o'clock class the next day, and blood blah, blah, blah, blah. She's basically saying I'm not responsible for not coming to the group thing on Tuesday, not having eight o'clock Wednesday morning, and my professor is going to be down my neck about it. I gotta go. So I violated the social norm, but it ain't my fault. Next one to be like, what does it matter? You guys are fine. Go to your event. It doesn't hurt anybody. If I'm not there, y'all don't care that I'm there anyway, does it hurt me? Does it hurt you not a big deal. That's what she says. Of course, you all are going, you know, texting each other privately and then texting her and finding out why she did this. And then there's the denial of the victim. Which is that, hey, you know what you guys were mean to me the last Tuesday, so I didn't go because it was, I didn't want to be there. When you guys are being ugly to me. I felt uncomfortable. You guys were talking about something. So I hurt you. Well, because you hurt me. You deserved it. Then she said I'm saying she just as a drill. There's nothing unique about being female in this incarnation in Canada, you will have no right to be upset with me, you didn't come to the party last Friday that we were all supposed to be at you hung out with your boyfriend, instead of doing this with us, you decided to go to go to that class or study for that. And so blah, blah, blah, and then appeal to higher loyalties. And this is the one that always makes all the other people in the group really mad, hey, look, guys, I just don't think I want to be a part of that anymore. Because I just feel like it's wrong. And what they're saying is, I have now found the light. And I'm with this group, and we don't do that. And that could be, look, I'm serious about my education, and I want to get a good career. And you all are just throwing your life away to alcohol. It doesn't have to be religious, it could be anything. But notice that these structures of function and all social organisations, and there's extremely powerful, extremely powerful, and that's why they shape everything that you do here. They'll shape what you do next. Ironically,
they shape how you interact in class, because it's not.
It's not actually in many cases, it's not a social norm to take the professor seriously. even notice that it's become a socially normal thing to blow off the instructor like they're just a blowhard. You're not supposed to actually believe them. As a group, you define yourself as the class is the group that the professor's trying to push around. And so sometimes you collect and collectively resist the professor. And you deviate from the professor's expectations. And collectively, you all line yourself around these type of things. Well, it's not going to hurt him if we're not paying attention. It's not a big deal. What does it hurt anybody?
Or he deserves it. He talks so much
that he deserves it if we don't listen, if he would just shut up, we would we would interact more, which of course, is not true in this class. Because I'll say things like what do you all think?
And I get this
right point in hand.
But you'll notice it's so interesting, right? These things are so actively present in any group, you're always a part of a group.
Always. And they're always these
always these rigid expectations that no one ever says like, for example, this classroom, you walk in the lights, the floor, the smell, the atmosphere, the projector, all of a sudden your body starts moving differently, you fall into desks a certain way you put backpacks in a certain spot. And most people don't deviate from that norm. For example, you don't normally show up in glittery club were here, which would be extraordinary for me. Because that would be a storey to tell. But the reason you don't do that is because it's not socially normative. If you did deviate from that and showed up in your evening where you might deny responsibility. Guys, I just got in last night like 30 minutes ago. And here I am. Denial of responsibility. I can't abide by the social norms because that I wasn't responsible for it.
Here's my point. Ultimately,
social organisation gives identity shapes who you are. So it's good for you to be aware how it works. So enjoy your sociology classes whenever you take them. All right, tomorrow. I want to talk about the final. We won't be here long, but be here long enough for me to give you some guidelines.
Okay. See you tomorrow.