2020-02-16: Four Qualities of Attention
10:49PM Jun 21, 2020
Morning, everyone. And is the volume loud enough? out there and a little bit louder. So how is it now? Is it getting any better? It's better now. Good. Okay, great. Yes, that I think their thumbs are up now for Yes. It's supposed to hire. So so I'll begin with a story I heard many years ago. Probably. I don't know if it's a true story about a person who is very learned in Buddhism spent years studying Buddhism person believes they know a lot about Buddhism and kind of expert on it. And, and came to a Zen master in Japan and said, you know, let me tell you about myself I'm well studied I've learned a lot I know a lot and could you please write a some calligraphy for me a scroll that I can hang up to remind me and and there's investors in Japan often part of the one of the arts that are closely connected to Zen in Japan is calligraphy. And Zen masters are often known for their calligraphy and so asking a Zen master for their calligraphy is kind of meaningful. So, person came and explained how learned the person is asked for calligraphy. The Zen master, granted and Okay, and took out the scroll piece of you know, beautiful rice paper and made the ink and this brush and then wrote in the person, one of the word that really captured the essence of Buddhism. So they, the Zen master wrote attend And the person said, No, no, you don't seem to understand. You know, I know a lot about Buddhism and I want the essence of the Zen master. Okay, so then you've got another piece of paper and wrote across that one Attention Attention. And the person said, No, no, no, you don't seem to understand I really know and what the essence the heart of it the truth of it, the real the core, what it's all about, oh, this investor said, Oh, now I get it. Okay. Okay. Took out another piece of paper and went through the hole and wrote across the paper, attention, Attention, attention. So what is it about attention? That is the core the heart of Buddhism, at least for this semester, or for us? So I'd like to maybe two About this or around this topic, this question. And my aspiration, which you have to participate in wholeheartedly if it's going to work is that as I talk about attention, that you're using what I say, to look at your attention, as you're listening to the talk, we have this amazing capacity for attention. I believe, like when I think about what a miracle is, I'm not sure what a miracle is. But if I've encountered miracles in my life, it's attention. It's the capacity to be aware. It's an amazing function of our being this, that we have this capacity to be aware and attentive and take in the environment and process it, understand it and find our way in it. And it's just mind blowing. And often it's taken for granted, or often. We're so caught up in it. thoughts that, that the that the thoughts obscure the fact that we're aware,
you know, it's kind of like Eclipse ism. Or sometimes I think that my thoughts sometimes are racing ahead, pulling the awareness with it. But what's really in charge is my thinking. And it's a whole different thing for it to turn around that and have awareness be first and foremost. And awareness doesn't necessarily Eclipse or obscure thoughts. But awareness is strong enough that it's kind of like the light went on. And now we can see our thoughts just like going light goes on in a room and suddenly we can see the objects in the room. It's a whole different world with a light of awareness turned on. It's a whole different world. If awareness attention, leads the show, and the thoughts in a kind of wave come into way or come in support or come kind of behind the thought they awareness. Have awareness lead. And so what is this awareness? What is attention? What is mindfulness? And I say this question with, with the disclaimer, I guess, but that's what we call it. No, I don't really know. So, you know, here I am, mindfulness teacher for many years. And it's kind of outrageous, right for me to say, I don't really know what mindfulness is that you could all go home now. You know, but I certainly it's one of the things I love tremendously my life mindfulness, attention, awareness is such an important part of my life. And and so what is it? So what are some of the things are, it's made up of component parts, there's different aspects of it that we could look at. And what I'd like to do today's offer four aspects of what could be called awareness that could be called each individual thing can be its own mental function. And perhaps some variety of mental functions come together to construct what we call awareness, or it could be considered one in the same thing, just different angles on it, different perspectives. Just like if we go take some look at the study the ocean water off the coast here, we could study it from the perspective of its solidity or viscosity or temperature or, you know, different aspects of it. And there's still ocean water, but it has these different qualities, maybe attention, your attention has these different qualities that are built into it. And so these four qualities that I am talking about can also be considered to be practices in their own right. And they're powerful and to recognize them in our awareness that they're there to recognize these capacities and ourselves, and then to engage them and to know when to engage them different ones in different circumstances, and to feel their power is quite a phenomenal thing to encounter. So maybe you'll see that you have these abilities. The first one I'll mention is the capacity to recognize what's happening. It's the simple act baby. You know, under appreciate, it's so easy to not even notice that we're constantly recognizing what's happening. Sometimes our recognitions or interpretations, sometimes there are wild interpretations that have very little to do with what's going on. Sometimes there's simple kind of, you know, optical illusions. Still, to this day, when I go hiking in the mountains up here, it seems like probably every six months or so I don't know how often I see a snake on the trail for a split second, and it's just a root of a tree. That's kind of one it into the top of the trail and exposed. But you know, the, you know, so, awareness a recognition isn't always accurate. Sometimes recognition comes along with bias, where we kind of see a projection of our own judgments ideas that we project on people and bias in terms of judgment that's often negative. And so recognition isn't always accurate. But recognition also can really help us to see what's happening, when we're where we're really kind of lost from it. One of the things that can be very helpful maybe you've had something similar happened to you. Someone will tell me something like, well, you seem pretty upset. And that's the first I know that upset. You, oh, thank you for recognizing that now. I get it. And now I see and tend to know that next a world of difference, okay. And,
or to sit down to meditate and only then discover, oh, you know, I'm kind of frazzled. I didn't realize I was frazzled, this is being frazzled. And then I have a whole different relationship with being kind of speeded up or frazzled. Then if I just continued being frazzled and didn't know it, something shifts inside, when that happens. And, and so many, you know, to have a somewhat accurate recognition of what's happening, is really helpful. So someone asks me, how are you in the moment and I might say that I'm having a difficult day. Well, that's kind of recognizing what's happening. But if I sit down here to meditate, and to really check in what's happening, and I say, I'm having difficulty today, I'm in kind of an abstract world. I'm in kind of a story and interpretation of the day. It's maybe accurate enough, but it's not actually concretely what's happening right here. What's happening? What can I recognize here? Oh, I can recognize that I'm tense, I can recognize that I'm frazzled, and my mind is spinning. That's what's happening now, to recognize that to know that that's happening, means that I'm beginning to not be caught in those pushed around by them led by them. I'm beginning to kind of somehow separate myself from being wrapped up in them. And the beautiful example, and beautiful kind of metaphor, simile that's using Buddhism is the Lotus that blossoms out of the muddy water. So the act of recognition can somehow free us from being in the obscure Muddy Waters of our lives. And we step up and get above it in a sense and see Oh, this is what's happening. I see. Okay. You're listening to a talk. What's it like just to know that you're listening? You take your listening for granted. Do you kind of just listen and take in the words and like them or not like them? It's not my preference is my preference. This is getting long winded. This is, you know, I was hoping for a different talk or, you know, you know, I wonder if I should check my contact lists of my phones, see if they need to be updated. You know what's going on right? To recognize the fact that if you are listening, it's an amazing thing that you can listen. What is it to both listen and hear the words and appreciate that you're listening? What is it to recognize what I'm saying? What is it to the recognize that somehow you're listening to others listening happening? What happens to you? So that's one of the aspects of awareness is just simple recognition and part of the practice of recognition is to Make it simple and direct and try to find some way to be less and less interpretation in the recognition, and more really what's happening in the moment. Now, why is recognition so powerful? Why could it be liberating to have clear recognition? Not just recognizing what it is. But why is it that it can really transform our situation who we are? What is it about your ability to recognize? Have you ever stopped and used it? In a way they're questioned it or kind of tried to use it in different settings and see, well, I hear it's powerful. I hear it's freeing in some way. How does that work? Let me try it. And then try to recognize what's happening in the moment and see if you can kind of begin to feel or discover. In fact, there's something liberating about it. The second aspect of attention, quality practice
To allow whatever is happening, whatever is recognized, and allow it to exist freely in awareness, to allow it and awareness. That doesn't mean that you will allow it with your behavior. It might mean that you have to change things in the world. But there's a powerful thing to allow something to exist in awareness, without automatically reacting to it, or judging it or getting entangled with our thoughts, but simply, and that's one of the reasons why it's so powerful to meditate. Because meditation is meant to be a time that you don't really have to take care of anything. Whether you need to change something in the world or not. Meditation is not the time to get involved in that. That's for later, to consider meditations a time when we're learning the art, the skill, to just allow something to exist in awareness. And the more we can learn to do that, in another reactive way to allow it to be there. Actually, why is it we tend to be about how to change the world how to change what's going on, when we come out of meditation. So it's not an excuse to not do anything. But it's almost if you want to do something, it's preparation for that. But disability, we can have let awareness occur, being aware of things, without it being going together with reactivity, without going together with our preferences, being for or against what is happening, going pushing it away, or pulling away, holding on to it or trying to hold on. Adding all this commentary on top of it, just kind of like just let it be there. And like, kind of like, float it float free in awareness. Now that's kind of a strange word. If you went to If I walked down to downtown Redwood City and walk up to someone in the sidewalk and came out or just came out of the coffee shop and said, Just let everything just float free in your awareness, they would probably doubt my sanity. But I can say it here, I hope. So, what is it about the is there some quality of attention? of awareness of perception that you perceive? And what is perceived is allowed to be there without being for or against? What It Is that what part of the mind what part of consciousness doesn't have to react is not reacting. Even if other parts of your mind are reacting. Is there a part that doesn't react Is there a nonreactive part that can see yourself reacting? This is why the recognition practice is so useful. Because if you can recognize that you're reacting, then you're a little bit starting to blossom out of the muddy water. The act of recognition in the simplicity of it has some kind of freedom and allowing, right there in the recognition. So even if we're reacting, wow, I'm reacting. And then you might not might get pulled into it or be might be very sticky. But then you can experiment. Then they keep saying to myself, or recognize that's reactivity. That's really reactive reactivity. I'm 100%. Sure, that is reactivity as opposed to saying, Boy, am I reactive, you know i Here I am again, I always reactive and here I am again and nothing seems to help and I'm just a mess that's reacting to your reactivity. And then you you know, and then you're caught in that web. But if you just kind of experiment with Wow, I'm angry. Yep. Yep. This is anger. You're not, don't use the word I just Yep. I'm annoyed. And this is annoyance. I can really recognize it. You can even go through in your mind, you know in your mind's mind say all these things. Just keep saying it until
you can feel that the your you this identifies with the anger or the upset or whatever it might be. So you don't take it to be you and you're not caught or entangled in it. You've pulled yourself apart enough. That you can just allow it to be there and see it without assuming that anything has to happen and not judge it. Not judge yourself for it. Just let it allow it to be there. And I've had that happen where I've had happened when meditating is really cool if you ever had this opportunity in meditation, to mind your own business, you know, quietly kind of doing your own thing meditating. And then anger wells up. Some little thought that you had, you know, your high school sweetheart wells up and this heat comes up. But to watch the anger arise, and not pick it up, not react to it, not identify with it. Just kind of just pass it can pass right through. I call it Teflon mind. It's amazing to do that. So what is this crazy thing that Gil's talking about? The minds capacity to allow things to exist in awareness. Freely just allow it. It's a practice that we can develop and learn and experiment with as a practice and get stronger. And it's easier I think, if it becomes strong this capacity to allow to feel how, what a blessing it is, the, the, the, certainly the power of it, the how freeing it is, how it's conducive to a certain kind of peacefulness to our life, just to allow that part of the mind is not agitated. The third part of awareness and attention is feeling what's happening. Feeling what you're reading. nicing and feeling maybe it's a difficult word complicated where to maybe define or as different meanings. And what I mean by this is experiencing what's happening physically in the body. Feeling the felt sense, the the sensations of the experience, how's the body sensing? What's happening? So if we're upset, what is it? What does it feel like in the body to be upset? How is it? Is there heat? Is there tension? Is their stomach being twisted? Is there upwelling energy? What is actually what's a sensations of the body? If there is, you know, something is really pleasant. What are the sensations of pleasure in the body? If, if it were, you know, there's a stressful situation, you're in a difficult meeting. Something what's the sensation that are present for you being at that meeting? What is it? What's that felt sense for you? The agitation, the cotton, the cold feelings, the energy that's coursing through you. What is the feeling of wanting to bolt in patience? What does that feel like physically? Now, you might ask, you know what, why should I do that, especially when Gil gives these bad examples in it's uncomfortable examples. One of the reasons why it's so useful to include in the wareness practice, what it actually feels like is that feeling the sensations our senses are part of the apparatus of awareness. They're operating all the way anyway. But we can fill out the picture get richer part of the experience. If we feel it physically, also, then we're much more in touch With ourselves as we go through the experience, there's much more information about how we're reacting, what our responses to the situation, if we feel how it is physically in our body, we can feel some of the nuances, or some of the salient kind of emotions that we might be missing if we're in the mind problem solving, oh, I'm actually feeling this way or that way.
Also, the body's interesting, the physical sensations in and of themselves, are not a story or not an interpretation. And many times we're the lens through which we're seeing our experience is through our interpretations or ideas or stories. What's in it for me what's going to happen here are projections of the future, all kinds of things. And some of those are accurate and some of them are not so accurate. And many times the complication around situations that we're in has to do with that. Story making mind to drop down and feel the body, what's happening in the body to feel what's happening is a protection from being swept away in this story making mind the interpretations that meaning making mind. And it's a grounding in the present moment. We're here we're grounded, we're present, we're not so likely to kind of spin off and, and spin out, if we kind of keep coming back to the body. It's so important the idea in Buddhism of being embodied, that I wish that we had translated the word Sati, not as mindfulness, but as body fullness, because mindfulness kind of gives priority to the mind. It's okay but, but I just like the huge benefits for my practice of Buddhism is how much it's put me in my body and how much information how much life is lived through the body. And, and so There's something freeing and powerful about being aware through the body, sensing and feeling what's happening. If you don't think that sensing and experiencing through your body is important, then the body becomes senseless for you. So then, the fourth quality of attention that I want to emphasize here is inherent can be inherent in a clear moment of awareness. But that takes a really developed awareness to really feel this inherent quality. Before that, it may be a practice that comes along with being aware that supports being aware and the practice part of it is called relaxation to relax To recognize what's happening, to somehow allow it to be an awareness to really feel what's going on in the body. So you can feel the tensions and the holding patterns in your body. And then to relax, to soften, to relax. And as we relax, that changes the inner environment to some degree. And then when we recognize next round of recognition, we recognize something deeper, something different, something more concrete. And then we allow that to be and then we can feel that and then we can maybe relax further and give you an example. So if I say like I said before that oh, you know, how are you Gil? I'm having a difficult day. Maybe you asked me just before I came in. such a difficult day. And no, that's too bad. So Gil sits down, meditate. I'm happy that you know, I have a difficult day. Today is not a difficult day. But imagine, oh, it's a difficult day. And so I sit here and I'm thinking about my difficult day and thinking about how I shouldn't have a difficult day. After all, I'm a mindfulness teacher. I should not have a difficult day. But I have a difficult day. And I'm going to living the difficult day kind of you know, swirl and then finally maybe sex accident. Something maybe someone comes in close to the door, some sounds and I get pulled out of my difficult day thought. And then I kind of like, let's, let's go and have a habit of being mindful. So eventually I could kill. You're having difficult day thoughts. Oh, yeah, that's difficult day thoughts. Okay. Can I allow that? Okay? Can I feel what it's like to have difficult day thoughts, just tension in my, my eyes, my forehead, you know, there's a lot of energy in my head, not really connected to my torso. And well, that's what's going on. And then I relax.
And then I notice that while those thoughts I'm having are still operating, but now I'm much more aware that I'm thinking I'm aware that more there's more tension in my shoulders. Okay, let's feel that they'll know that. And then I relax that. And then I'm realizing you know, these difficult thoughts are so abstract. I'm more interest what's actually happening here. Right here and now there's still energy to think compulsion to think about the particular issue of my day, but that just compulsive thinking. I'm not so interested. anymore in the content of my thoughts, I just recognize compulsive thinking. I recognize it as I'm having that, that there's still tension in my belly. So I feel all that I allow all that use with it. And then I relax a bit. And then I notice I'm not so involved in those compulsive thoughts anymore. And I realized that underneath the compulsive thoughts, and underneath that, you know, being upset was a little bit of anxiety. And that anxiety, how does that feel? That feels like still like butterflies in my stomach and a certain kind of tension. So I relaxed my belly. And as I recognized anxiety, relax the belly. I find that actually, you know, there's not so much anxiety anymore. And I recognize that it really what's happening is that, you know, I feel kind of insecure or vulnerable in my you know, in life. These days. And so then I feel this vulnerability. And I've noticed that as I do that my breathing has gotten quieter and more relaxed, or the breathing actually feels kind of good. Let me feel the goodness of breathing. And then I relaxed the breathing some more. And so it's kind of a journey that goes on. But it that and as I go deeper and deeper into this process, the relaxation part becomes less and less what I do. And more just follows on the heels of recognizing, allowing and feeling until the time comes. That awareness gets stronger and stronger. The sense of attention begins to become stronger and stronger as all these layers begin to relax. And attention becomes much more continuous. Awareness becomes almost like almost like an entity that's there. That's a recognized unknown, rather than something's intermittent, and I'm lucky if it shows up, because I'm so busy with my life, but it's just like clearly aware. Wow. And now there's a miracle of awareness seems to stand out. Wow. That's an amazing thing to be aware. I'm more amazed by the miracle of awareness that I am by this idea of having a difficult day that's long gone. Wow. And then, and then I notice that as I'm aware of things, that the clear awareness phenomenon, that clear recognition, allowing it to be perceiving of things has within it itself. Freedom. There's release in awareness itself, and releases I think, is different than relaxation, relaxation. I think a little bit more something Do I relax, release is more like creating space around something of freeing, letting go of the clinging, the contraction, the tightening around whatever I want, when I'm trying to get or to see or know, just going to space is formed. And just to recognize in the very act of awareness, there is a kind of freedom. Freedom from what one of the things that's free from part of what this letting go or release can be. In the awareness itself, we get released from ourselves, from the self, me myself in mind, that I'm the one in charge, I have to do this. I have to be aware, I have to fix the problem. I have to kind of do this whole procedure. There's guilt teaching now you know, recognition and allowing and like a feeling and this is a lot of work. You know, I got I got to do and
but you get released from all that, me, myself and me being the agent to do all this stuff. And then you might notice that in the strong awareness that's there, that it actually in and of itself has these qualities they're operating at their natural functions of the mind recognition it's a wonderful expression the cognitive functioning of emptiness. Isn't that great? It's supposed to you know, my cognitive function is not so good. But it's not you yourself that's operating it's something deeper beautifully wonderfully freeing Lee impersonal that's operating in the mind the mind can wonderfully operate without your all the ways in you identify this is who I am. So fruit, you know, start becoming free of myself and you want to be free of yourself. Is that safe to be free of yourself? Are you? Is it a kind of a dying to be free of yourself? What is that? What is that? Why is guilt celebrating this release from self awareness? Wow. So initially, you know, many people when they come to meditation or we come out of a busy frazzled day, it's not easy to just open up and settle down and discover that great miracle of awareness. But there are these practices we can do practices of recognition, practices of allowing things to be an awareness, the practice of feeling and sensing deeply what's going on the practices of relaxation. And I kind of like following those secret that sequence of those four, but you can follow any sequence so the for some people might prefer the other direction. Some people want to start with relaxation and then go to feeling and sensing And then allowing, and then finally recognize what's happening. You know, it's all kinds of ways depends on the person what they're like. But these four qualities of attention can be practices that we do and maybe at different times, one particular one is the one that helps ground you. That helps you shift from having your thoughts, Eclipse awareness, having your thoughts, you know, you know, in the lead and you're just lucky to follow, to kind of taking control over are taking, being present or not being lost anymore and being grounded. And maybe one of those is the most useful one for you. For some people, some people it's recognition. Some people it's just a very clear sense they can allow I don't know what's going on here, but I can make space for some people. It's feeling this feeling of experience specifically. And for some people, it's the relaxation. But to have those four tools in your toolkit of awareness, and to use them as appropriate to know when it's best for you to use them. And then, as they as they work their magic as they work, they're on you. Then slowly your awareness will become stronger and stronger, more stable, more present. And then you'll notice that those four qualities are right there, all the time and awareness. And each of them in their own way, is a wonderful thing. Each of them in his own way is a natural functioning of the mind. And each of them is freeing.
So I hope that this talk has been evocative for you. So that you will go home, leave here, maybe for the rest of the week, what in the world was talking about? And look into it. Find out for yourself. Look at these things and how they work in you and, and, you know, Gil says their power he's kept using powerful and more often than he should. It's just he kept you know saying it was freeing, What is he talking about? Find out for yourself, keep looking at this and see how it is make it your own. That would be really satisfying for me if you did that. So we have about five minutes before the usual end. And if anyone has any questions, comments, testimonials or protests, this is the time
in a In a previous day long that I went to we discuss the awareness of awareness. And that seemed like a wonderful thing to do. I felt a lot of great stuff going on being aware that I was aware. And I just wanted to ask you to come in on that.
But I think that that's, that's what allows you to feel the miracle of awareness. When you are aware that you're aware, it's a great thing. But, you know, it's, you know, it's a more accessible to people than they usually realize. But sometimes something dramatic has to happen for us to really be interested in that because usually the mind is interested in other things. Have you noticed that? And other things can seem so important. And awareness, you know, awareness, you know, has no shape and no color and it has no sex appeal. And, you know, there's no financial gain right there. And you know, like, it's not something you can show off with your friends look at this great awareness I have. And so like, it doesn't really have the usual things that we want to kind of, you know, that interests us. But, in fact, it's one of the most significant and wondrous important things of a human life, because it's the medium through which all of our life kind of flows one way or the other. And to really clear that medium of its debris of its clouds of its filters is really makes life much more worth living and engaging. So to become aware of awareness to get a sense of it, you know, it's can be done. But if you if you don't have access to it, then do those four practices. Okay, so I see Mary and then we'll go here for Mary first. Um, I have been
working at Developing the skill of being an observer, especially when things are really traumatic or challenging or, you know, hard, hard. So as I listened to you today, I got to wondering is attention and being an observer? Are they really the same thing? or What does? What does it mean to be an observer? And how is that different from paying attention? Nice,
nice question. I think one of the most important things to say is that we should probably probably reword The question is observation and attention the same because observer is a person observing is the act of the mind. And so one of the some people find it very helpful to switch Language, because as long as we're the observer, all this old baggage about being who we are, comes along and makes it hard. But if we can kind of just put aside that language and just notice the act of observing, and how that fits with attention, how it's the same or different and how it overlaps. This is, you know, it's variable depends on the angle you use, and you don't have to worry about it too much. It's, I think what you're doing with observation is really great. And you're the attention follows along. And someday you might realize there's something different than observing. Maybe observing has a lot of recognition in it. And it's possible to observe, to be aware without recognition or just kind of very, very simple and it's a journey of discovery. And I don't want to tell you exactly what, how that'll go for you. But what I would like to add is you said you're doing a lot of this observing when things are different. For you
Well, I found it was really hard not to get sucked into the situation rather than simply being with the person who this you know that was undergoing all these things. I didn't want to get sucked in and yet I was like kind of like a yo yo you know,
great I love here at MIT I very much appreciate love hearing that you're practicing this way. It's really a good thing to do useful thing to do. And then there's one that had that. Don't only practice it when things are difficult. Sometimes a practicing when things are easy, builds the muscle so you can better do it when things are difficult. Okay, one more. What would you recommend for people with a DD like I was tutoring this young girl and she has really poor working memory. And so literally what I taught her like two seconds ago just vanished. At times, so what would you recommend for people with a DD? And have you seen cases of people through mindfulness training have been able to expand their working memory? So to try to answer your question as specifically as you asked it to, which I don't really feel qualified to answer really. But I do know that that our ability to remember is based on many of our different faculties. And sometimes when we try to remember something, using a particular faculty that's not suited for you for the individual. It doesn't really work. And so some people will remember things kinesthetically more than they remember verbally. Some people remember more from hearing something than reading. Sometimes people remember better by reading than they are hearing something. Some people remember better by song. They can remember songs really well, but that you tell them to remember a math formula, it's hopeless. And so you have to kind of understand the person and how that person's learning style is and how it works for them. But I would think that, you know, not knowing so much about this world of people with attention, things like that, is that I would try to do it physically. I would try to have them move while they're memorizing and, and, and Burma, if you go there, monastics in Burma are memorizing Buddhist scriptures, volumes of it, and they do a lot of it walking up and down. You see them outside the monitors, walking, walking, walking back and forth with a book in their hand memorizing there's something about the walking that can help memorization and now I've done that little bit and then I remember even better if I go back and try to remember in the place where I vocation where I was doing memory. So so you might see if there's some way of Making a game of movement that was so young child, that somehow in the movement game, it's fine. It's a game that somehow uses more faculties and makes it sink in deeper. And finally, because it's a real interest of mine, and maybe you'll permit me to say this about use this acronym or use letters for it, ADH attention disorder anyway, it's really unfortunate that we call what these this kind of mind and disorder it's only because I think of the peculiar way in which we learn and operate in this modern world, that it kind of doesn't work with how we've organized constructed the modern life, but for much of human, you know, you know that his son of history but the way back, you know, long time that it was actually a very important function, a very important intelligence circuit capacity of the mind that really helped the tribe. They say 10% of the people have this call so called attention Deficit Disorder. And but it's a wonderful capacity, a visual capacity of being interested in exploring and discovering new things. And we need to have 10 we used to need like in the wild 10% of the tribe had that ability. It made us survive much better as a group. And, and so now people have that particular wonderful mind, I think we should see it as a gift. Just have to find where that gift works. And I've known people who have become park rangers where they're outdoors a lot and their minds are constantly moving and taking in things I've known once who had a wonderful career as photographers, some of theirs that that that's worked for that kind of mind. And so, so we should be careful with the calling it a disease disorder and see the gift that it is so May your capacity for attention become as profound for you more core and essential for you. As a Zen master said it is for Buddhism. Thank you