Ep 13 - 10_10_19, 1.09 PM
5:40PM Nov 12, 2019
Lee Skallerup Bessette
Hey everyone, and welcome to the final episode of our three part series on tidying up with Marie Kondo on the all the things ADHD podcast with Aimee and Lee. This is also the season one finale. So thank you so much for being here and for listening. Again, we're going to drop us right back in the middle of our conversation where Aimee is going to start off by talking about how she likes to work, and how we both work through messes and messiness, and use mess to our advantage in a lot of cases, and then go on and just have keep talking about whatever's on our mind about this. And I hope you really enjoyed again, I really enjoyed this conversation. I'm so grateful for Aimee for having it with me. And for doing this podcast with me 13 episodes of it. I think we had something like, I don't know, three over 300 minutes of podcast recorded and so this is the result of that of those 300 minutes is this first season 13 episodes plus an episode zero of All the things ADHD So with that, I'm gonna let me take it away.
Like I know you say you like to have all your stuff around you so you can see it. I mean that's very true I used to sort out graduate teaching right how to like have like over 100 different classes and ta spots over three semesters that needed to be covered by like, X number of graduate students in funding out of funding this level that level and my coordinator used to send me these like Excel spreadsheets and like documents and stuff and what we wound up doing is we got a conference room and I just took a whole bunch of blank sheets of paper and I spread the sheets out. Yeah, I could everything at the same time. So so like in the moment of doing like the tasks I do need to have everything out in front of me and when I finished writing a piece and I'm trying to like get all the references in order I have this like seven by 10 foot carpet, in my office in my house and I will cover it in stacks. printouts. I mean, the only reason I have space to do this is because my carpets not already covered in things, right? And when I'm done, I'm done like, Oh, this is like this is the reference list on college student activism about disability. This is the pile of stuff about affirmative action in higher education. This is about you know, then I put up miles away, right, they have to have a place to go so when I'm working with them right now, I need to have the blank space to put everything out and then when I'm done working, I need to put it all away or I can't stop thinking about it.
Cool. Now I just.. Yeah, I just I don't know like because so I, I worked I've always worked in offices and places I was in a shared space before and I'm in a shared space again now with like a-type personalities who needed everything to be put away and neat and blank and and, like I've shared pictures of my desk before because I little tchotchkes, like I have about a billion tchotchkes on my desk, you know, Chewbacca over here. And Rey is over there. And I have Yoda and The Incredibles over there. And then I have the pictures my kids drew up over there. And then I've got my water bottle and then the stand for my phone. And then I've also got a pile of books and then here my pile of photocopies. And that's like that. So they're like, we have people come into the office tidy up and I like basically like sort of straighten them. And I'm like, it's tidy. Because to me that's tight is like okay, well the pile of paper is now Level, right? Like it's, I've kept it
It's now going to fall down.
Yeah, yeah, it's not going to fall down and there's no like straight papers hanging out. It's actually a nice pile now, right? It's even pile and like I you know, I've at least thrown out the garbage now, which I admit that I should have done that sooner. But there's like, but don't you need to put all that stuff away. And I can remember this as a child and I thought We go through with my daughter and I try to just remember that because when people tell me doesn't they don't you need to put it away or don't you need to put it where it belongs and I will like and I'm just like that is where it belongs. It belongs right there.
Oh my gosh. I gotta tell you, my hands are getting sweaty again. I like this morning. My grad students come over and we have write club we all sit together and we write and I sit at the breakfast bar which of course looks into my kitchen. And if the kitchen is not in magazine, photoshoot shape I can't write because there is visual clutter. Right? And I can't focus on my screen so like if 10 feet away from me there is a dirty spoon and the kettle like they need to go away like I can't like it has to be it has to be blank. The counters need to be like Done. If there's anything in the sink I need to take it out of the sink can put it in the dishwasher like we hide sometimes the pots and pans inside the oven because I cannot have them where I can see them. So I'm always like getting my house ready for a magazine shoot before I can sit down and write otherwise I like I can't. So and and similarly, like if I'm working with other people and there's like BRIC a BRAC everywhere. Like I was writing at a friend's house. Oh, maybe about a year ago and like she's got piles of stuff everywhere. And I just like felt itchy, right like it could not calm down. I couldn't there was just too many things all looking at me. I don't know what it was I just I need to have so i wrute at my house. I'm on this like white lacquer desk so it's very shiny and white. And my window frames are white and I'm looking out a window into my backyard which has nothing in it like that's what I need. can't look at stop. Put your shit away Lee I can't focus
Focus just knowing that my house
is knowing that it's, I mean, it's like I get overwhelmed by that sort of stuff. And like I said to my daughter, the other night, I was really tired and we were watching TV together and she was like, trying to air band, the theme song to the show, we were watching and doing this, like really exaggerated lip sync performance and was like, kiddo, your facial expressions are too loud. Because I'm often telling her she talks too loud, and it's sensory overwhelm for me, right? And I'm like, Look, here's the thing. Your face is too loud. She's like, I'm not even making any noise. I'm like, but your gestures are like so fast. And your facial expressions are so exaggerated. Like I have to close my eyes because I'm going to punch you like
Yeah, no, I did. Right? Yeah. And I feel like that's like, I feel like that that's my that's my son. Right? Because he goes on sensory overload. Like he won't go to Costco and he you know, he always
that's just good.
No, I know. But like, but he also organizes his bed in his own way every single night, right? Like, yeah, it's bad if it's if you if you reorganize or touch it and he's like, why did you and and it makes sense to him and I'm not saying that it's really a neat and tidy because it's not because it's like just a pile of stuffed animals but they were piled in a very specific way. Which again, I could sympathize with because, you know, my desk is cluttered in a very specific way.
Yeah. And you know, I think like, Marie Kondo would be great with that. Like, I honestly think people miss understand what she does, because I do think that tidying is wielded like a cudgel against people, right, like yeah, you know, and untidy desk is the sign of an untidy mind or like that type of thing that there's a definitely a moralistic and aesthetic judgment that has to do with class. Yeah, a lot of times around, you know, neatness. sparseness and you know, in the age of dollar store plenty, you sort of demonstrate your elite status by restricting the net of things you have. And so there's definitely a moral element to that. But I don't see that in Kondo system at all right? If you look at some of the afters, right that she's done, and these spaces do not meet my standard of uncluttered, right, like the guy with the baseball cards still has like, a towering stack of baseball cards in his bedroom, and I would like rather die. And nobody's like, you need to hide that. Like her thing is just like, is it sparking joy for you? Like does this work? Are you happy? And okay, because none of the afters really look like they're ready for a magazine photoshoot. Right? Because they're not it just and she doesn't care because it's not about because these people volunteer to be on the show because they are overwhelmed by their own houses, right? overwhelmed by their belongings like they can't find their kitchen counter and like, but some people their idea of like, what a great kitchen counter looks like is still much too cluttered for me right now much too cluttered for what the sort of normative view of what like, you know, a show kitchen would look like, but Marie Kondo never says anything to them. She's like, Are you happy? Yeah. And they are, you're happy with your desk, then don't let anybody shame you into calling it like untidy or disorganized because it's very organized for you. I mean, some of the issues when when our needs collide with the needs of other people.
Yeah, so that's like my daughter's door is closed all the time because her room is not a level of tidy that can coexist with me right? I think I need to so and you know, so I tried to find spaces where I can have total control over my visual environment so that I can feel calm and and my own belongings I can throw away and like even condo says, like you're not allowed to throw out other people's things. Yeah, that's not your job. You have to, you know, deal with your own stuff and other people can deal with their stuff and you need to sort of limit like your purview to your own things. And I think it's it's one of the least judgmental or rigid tidying systems out there. So I was just really surprised that people are fighting about it so much online,
like, because its the internet because the internet and we always fight about things. And I mean, we are You're right, we do have we are very, we have very strong feelings about our stuff. particularly around like you said, even about tidiness or messiness. Around class status. Yeah, right. Like, this is the stuff that I have accumulated and I want to display it or we're not at least not throw it out. Because even if no one can see it, I know I have x. Yeah, yeah. Which is a which is a cultural class marker.
Sure. I mean, it's a marker of like, taste and stuff. too, right? There's a reason that you know curation has become such a buzzword, right? Like these are my curated Instagram because it's not, you know, indiscriminate everything, right? It's implying a level of selectivity based on self control and taste. Right. So like tidy shaming is the new fat shaming, right? It's about excess, and the policing of excess because people are always supposed to manifest discipline and self control. And I really don't think the condo system is about discipline or self control at all. It's about joy. It's like you are unhappy with the state of your your mental state when you're in your home, right you feel stress and unhappy. Well, what can we do right to make you not stressed and not unhappy? What can we do to spark joy? Right? It's not about discipline. It's not about like, you know, get tough and throw this at like the guy with the mailboxes. Remember the guy like bye The house on the same street as his parents, and you know, there's this, this garage was like a disaster. And there's this mailbox. And he's like, Well, this was the original mailbox that was on the house. And she was like, Well, you know, you took it all right. And he's like, yeah, you know, I don't like it. Like, there's a, there's another mailbox. I like better I installed and she's like, Well, why are you keeping this one and he like, had this like quite emotional explanation about like, how meaningful it was for him to buy this house and how the mailbox was part of the house that he had purchased that he wanted to sort of remember that commitment that he had made to the house and to his future, and she's like, but you need to keep the mailbox, right. You want to carry this with you into the future. And it wasn't like she could have said you have to throw it out. This is a stupid thing to keep Right. Yeah. But at the end of it, he was happy to let it go. Yeah, cuz you know, I have the feeling right. And thank you for acknowledging the relationship as meaningful that I have with this mailbox, but I can have that memory. Right. I have felt those feelings and I don't need to keep the mailbox, which I think it's like, pretty amazing. It's not judgmental. It's not you must, right. It's not you have to it's not about normalizing. It has nothing to do with there is a standard, which as like neurodiversity people I think we should really appreciate is like, No, I don't want to meet a specific standard. It's meeting your own standard, right. It's about feelings. Are you happy? I just think like such an incredibly generous model. I love it.
Yeah, no, no, I and I think that that's why I kept watching it at the end of the day where I was like, like, I still will never fold clothes like that.
Oh, I love it. I'm totally doing it
Oh, I get I get and then also though, that's the thing that's frustrating to me now. So I fold the clothes it's a very gendered role, but at the same time If I didn't fold the clothes literally no one would fold them already It drives me crazy because all and i mean i don't spend a lot of time folding clothes but enough time folding the clothes that they just come upstairs and my you know, my husband puts them away just fine in because but the kids just throw them in their drawers and, and they know where they I mean at least it's organized right? They know where everything is they've got their specific drawers and you know, every once in a while I try to turn them into areas or my daughter will get a little organizing fit and try to do that. But I know if I spend the time doing all those little folds and it's I'm going to be the one who asked to put them in the drawer. Right? And and I'm like I have my own folder. Yeah.
Look, I can see all the T shirts at the same time now. That's just great. Otherwise you forget that you own them right? It's true. I
I keep going my jeans and T shirts are folded in these little tents and all my like leggings that used to be stacked like this. Fold them in thirds. And then but they'd be stacked vertically and like, yeah, also pairs of yoga pants and I would only use the on the top, or I would try to get the ones on the bottom and the whole stack would collapse. But now I'm like, making little, you know, little tents out of them. And they're all like, lined up and it's beautiful to look at. And I can see them all at the same time. And it's no harder for me to fold them that way. And it's no harder for me to put them in my own drawers. It is but it's a lot easier for me. Yeah, to find things to wear now, so I'm like, but you know, does my family folder stuff like that? No. Like, they want to live like pigs. That's fine. Yeah. Because again, can't tidy someone else's stuff.
Right? Yeah, but it's also the so they're all like, you know, I my son doesn't care about seeing all of his t shirts and sweatpants at the same time because it's literally just functional ath the moment for him right like, whichever pairs of sweat pants happens to be the one that he pulls out first thing in the morning are the ones isn't aware and then The T shirt that he reaches in and pulls out is the one he's gonna wear like he just doesn't you know he doesn't care and he's fine with that right and sometimes the color combinations that he's come downstairs in hurt my eyes but he looks down and he's like, yeah, this is fine. Like alrighty then. But But this in the same way like you know how you're talking about the kitchen all work from home all day and I mean I'm thinking about it right now because I'll go downstairs and my husband will come home and and he'll look around the kitchen, and I'll work in the kitchen and he was like, why didn't you clean anything up? Right even just like put it in the dishwasher? Right when I was done eating lunch my lunch dishes are still on the table. I gonna make your palms sweat again.
Yeah, yeah, I'm ready.
It's it's but it's the same sort of thing is like when my my son comes home from school and dumps all this stuff at the door and probably steps over at six more times. Before I come home and be like Why the hell is the stuff here and not put away? He will literally have not noticed that he's stepped over a school bag and his shoes. just, you know
if it works for you, yeah, it works for you. Right. So there's the daily practices of like, how long can something sit on the counter before it has to go in the dishwasher? You know, which is about I guess solicitude for other people's needs and also ants, right? Yeah. And like not leaving not putting your shoes where they belong. I mean is okay until now no one can open the door because the shoes are piled up beside the shoe rack instead of the shoe rack. I mean, so that's for me is that a different thing than like deciding how many pairs of shoes actually bring you joy? And yeah, whether you keep them and stuff right like I think these are intersecting but not identical issues and sometimes Lee I will admit to you that I leave my kitchen in a mess in the morning and like book it up to my office upstairs. So I don't have it because I have an idea right? Yeah, idea. And then I will like fix stuff later it just, like, work with it, I guess it like run and hide from my own problems but yeah, like I think that the daily practices and attending to the little things that need to get done is different from like, what objects you choose to keep it in your life and how
Yeah, I think it's I thought it was I thought that the show Did I really did think of the show did a really good job of explaining and I wished that there were more families with children who are a little older and more articulate. Like that family that went from Michigan to to to California, because because I think that that's like how do you talk to them about it right? I guess that's something that I've struggled with with my own family right in in having these conversations and again it's fresh in my mind because we literally just went through it is these conversations can be have to be different of course because they're on that different cognitive level like I said, right like the house is haunted. You know, this thing is is special in ways sometimes that they can't even articulate, articulate. Right. Um, and and you know, that that whole mailbox incident right that you talked about it sparked it within me is like, I was watching that. And I was like that is my daughter. That is my daughter. That is my daughter and then oh my god, he let it go. How did you do that? Like?
It wasn't about being rational, right? Like it's crazy for you to keep this mailbox like Can't you see like how dumb that is? Right. It was about tell me all of your feelings. Yeah. This mailbox and he talked and talked, it was like, tell me more of your fans. What was that was? And he talked himself through it. Right? lived the feelings that he needed to experience and then came to his own realization. He didn't need the mailbox. Right. And I think, again, it's that gentleness, right? Well, we so often approach this, or, you know, as people ourselves who have failed to live up to other people's standards of how we should sort of manifest in the world of trying to be changed by people's attempts at shaming, right? Like that thing that you do is crazy, right? Don't do that. The noise doesn't bother anybody else. It shouldn't bother you stop being bothered, right? Yeah. Or no other people. I'm like, we can't store anything under the bed. It's like it's bad folks way and it makes me anxious. If we have too many things that we have to store them under the bed. Like when people aren't saying like, it's a perfectly good storage space. They make you know, they'll say like, Well why do you feel like that? And how can we make this work for everybody? And and so it's like funny because everybody on the internet was like so mad about the convery method was incredibly judgmental and bossy. And she's not,
are you watching the same show I am.
Right. I don't know, like they were so offended. You know, what I think people were offended by was the lack of judgment, right? Is that we want to show like hoarders where, which I think was like, in many ways, a really terrible show. Because these people have a mental illness, right? And dysfunctional relationship with objects, where they can only feel safe, you know, if every eggshell they've ever cracked or found on the street is in their bathtub, right? Like, yeah, that, that we want to watch that and say like, those are bad people with no discipline and no self control, like I'm sure, as someone with ADHD, you're very familiar with that line of shaming, right? It's like you can't you can't handle it or you're not behaving like a grown up and you're not doing this correctly. Unlike, you know, failing to live up to sort of standards of respectability and correct moral conduct, right, as manifested through things and I think what made people like really angry was this, like, itty bitty like four foot eight, you know, Japanese woman who would just like gently hold your arm and say, like, you know, tell me about your feelings? Yes, object, right? Or like, you know, she's thinking individual t shirts. And it's just so offensive, I think, to a sort of broader cultural desire to shame people for not meeting normative standards. And I am like, not down with that. So I am totally down with Marie Kondo allowing people to talk about their mailbox. I feel that that's a radical access technology - to be listened to
Oh, yeah. Well, I think it also has to do with our obsession with efficiency and getting things done as quickly as possible. Right, right. This doesn't this isn't an efficient. It's effective, but it's not necessarily efficient either.
Oh, yeah. Because like right people to keeps correcting them like the show that, Oh, we're so glad you're here where you're going to do your magic, right. And she's like, it's not my magic. Right. And it's not you do it. Right. There is nothing actually that I do, right. Yeah, but you can see this is kind of like, well, we got the tidying expert here, you know, our problems are solved. That's Yeah, our problems are solved. Now. She's gonna like, what all of our stuff in order, right, and that they are somehow going to emerge from this process themselves unchanged. Right. Yeah. But what people shift is their mindset. Yeah, I mean, they get rid of like, 45 t shirts from college that haven't fit for a number of years. Right, that changes, but what really changes is their orientation to their own belongings and their sense of agency with respect to their feelings about their belongings, right, and so everybody thinks like, Oh, it's this external thing. The tidying expert is going to come and she's gonna bring some boxes and like everything's Going to be tidy, and then I will be happy. But the thing that has to change as you break up, maybe the resist,
the boxes help it really
Yeah, you know, if you're the type of person that's going to collect, you know, 65 nutcrackers and have them on your pool table in April, then like, boxes are not really going to solve the problem that you actually have. Which is, Christmas is a feeling not an object. So like maybe 10 nutcrackers would do it for you, but maybe it's 40 I don't know, right? Yeah, I can't I'm not going to judge nutcrackers or not my mode you know, Lord and Taylor cashmere sweaters is my mode. I have four of them then you know many people would think to be strictly necessary but they spark joy for me.
Yep. Well, I I've been doing that are you know, I culled my wardrobe actually quite a bit but I and one of the nice things about this particular time that we moved, is that for the first time in forever, we actually had a six month window in which to prepare for this said move. Whereas usually we have maybe six if we're lucky, but often only a couple of weeks where you really don't have the time to be like, does this spark - deploy your box! Put it in a box? Yeah, yeah. Just you know, and so this was the first time and so I've been like for six months. And even then I don't think it was enough time for us. But that was that was I was trying to be mindful with my own things. And so I started this hashtag I didn't start the hashtag but I was using this hashtag on Instagram going how many dresses because I love dresses and I'm still have not gone through all of my dresses, but, but doing that hashtag actually inspired me to get rid of a whole bunch of my dresses, because it was like, Okay, well I have to I like a challenged myself to wear a different dress, right? Yeah. And so at a certain point, it was like, Okay, I have all of these dresses, and I need to wear a different dress today. And I don't want to wear any of these.
Then you're like, you know what, these are not dare I say it Lee sparking joy.
Exactly. Exactly. Like they were just sort of like, and sometimes some of the dresses I put on and I thought they would spark joy and then I wore them and was like, wow, not this dress, right? Like, why am I hanging on to this? Like, maybe I don't know, like, and sometimes especially with clothes were aspirational. Like I love it the way it was in the hangar in the way it looks in the in the catalog dating myself on the internet. And I can't quite accept the fact that it looks like shit on me right? But that's not who I am trying. And maybe maybe this time is a look at me.
Yeah, I have a like a slightly different problem in that like All of my clothes, I have been like roughly the same size and shape since I was like 19 or 20. And so there's clothes that I bought when I was 19 or 20. I mean, that still fits, right? Yeah, look the same, like I have my prom dress from high school is hanging in my closet right now. And I wore it to a Christmas party this year, because it still fits, right? So I wind up like, dragging these things around with me because they're perfectly serviceable. Yeah, and they fit yet but some, I don't want to wear them like I put them on and I feel like there was a time like when I was a bit younger, where I was dressing a bit older for work, yeah, they needed to manifest that authority but like I'm 46 so when I put on dresses that I bought specifically, to make me look older, when I was 30. Right are a) out of date, and b) like make me look older than 46 like which is Going for right now. So like everything it's me and it looks fine shape right but i like i think like I these dresses now that would like be great on a 20 year old who could wear them ironically but again i where it's like no you just look like a clueless yeah old person this years ago because you did buy it 15 years ago right? So that's like been really hard for me to actually get rid of some of those things but I was using the the joy method. I was like, instead of my husband like, like, these are good things. I just don't like them anymore. Right. Sounds like someone else.
We should probably like drone ourselves to a tidy conclusion. tidy.
but I appreciate having this conversation because it's I wanted to, so this was like therapy for me in a certain way. Because I wanted to make sense of the sort of confusing messages or my confused way of processing, and why I reacted to the show the way I did, right? Like, because it was it was like, I'm, I'm clearly not reacting the way other people are reacting to this show, right? And I wanted to kind of figure that out and think through these, these ideas of tidiness, these ideas of and I like how they don't use the word neat. I'm really grateful for that. And, and I knew and I knew you wrote written a blog post, and I wrote a blog post and I'm like, let's do a cold take on this. Yeah, that everybody moved on. I appreciate that.
I would just like to say to you that, like, the ways that we have maybe been shamed for being disorganized, is different from the kind of tidying that that Kondo represents and and I would encourage you not to let that kind of accumulated bad feeling about tidying as it has been presented to you, forcefully, right? And coercively maybe by others, sort of cloud this particular experience. And for me it was like, like just straight porn because I love cleaning stuff. So I just like loved it and ironically, but I was unexpectedly moved by the ways that I recognize things that I did that I had not really sort of named to myself before. We have these emotional relationships that I have with things and how much it resonated with me that ultimately what she's proposing is these relationships of care. I kind of felt like my way of relating to objects, or the way that many autistic people's ways of relating to objects are characterized as weird, right. And abnormal and pathological actually are mirrored in some religious practices in different culture, right that that maybe it's not so weird. And that was really nice for me to see that I was not expecting that type of joy to be sparked in me by this show, and I'm happy if, in this discussion, we've been able to distinguish between like being organized and being tidy and being coerced into throwing things out. And thinking instead of about this idea of the appropriate level of tidiness is one in which you feel happy in your surroundings. And that's all that matters, right?
Yeah. And I think and I think it's important, and again, I don't think I've seen a lot of I've never seen this discussion anywhere around this.
around her. So I think it was really, I knew there was something else there. But you know, you need to talk it out to like scratch out to get at that.
Oh, I hear you.
I hope that was useful for people. I hope that if this resonates as much as as Kondo's stuff has resonance Hopefully in a more positive way, overall, but me too. So thank you, Aimee. And eventually when this comes out, it'll be an ultra cold page. So
it's still relevant,
but still relevant. Oh, for sure. Because maybe maybe by the time this comes out season two will be aired on Netflix.
They will be super timely.
Oh my gosh will be the timely as timers ever. So again, you can always get in touch with us by emailing all the things ADHD at gmail com, going to our website, all the things adhd.com
ALL THE THINGS
And also using the hashtag all the things ADHD and following us on Twitter or Instagram, apparently, although I don't know how much ADHD stuff we got on on the instas really, really? No, not really at all. So have a great day. Have a great evening. Thank you so much, Aimee.
Thank you Lee. And bye, everybody.
So that does conclude our first season of all the things ADHD. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you share it. I hope it resonated with you. I hope that it gives you tools to manage your own ADHD or to better understand ADHD in those that you love. And that we've just been fun to listen to. season two, I have no idea when it's coming. But what we we always wanted to do was to be able to bring people in and interview them. So we'd love it if you reached out to us at all the things firstname.lastname@example.org or dm us on Twitter. I'll be getting back don't dm Aimee she doesn't get back as she said in that episode emails aren't her thing. But just let us know if you would like to be a guest on the show. If you would like to talk about us to talk about a specific issue or challenge. We would love to hear from you. And we would love topics and subjects for season two, we still have a laundry list of things that we hadn't even gotten to talk about. But you know schedules being as they are and ADHD been what it is. I'm not gonna make any promises, which is probably fair. And now remember my catchphrase, I hope you stay focused, try to stay focused. Until we come back again. I'm Lee Skallerup Bessette. And I'm so grateful for my colleague and friend and co host, Aimee Morrison, for these absolutely fantastic conversations. And I'd like to also thank all of you, our listeners, our followers on Twitter, all of the people who encouraged us and told us that this was something needed and necessary and that's something that you would listen to and so I really hope you've enjoyed it. And any feedback, including, as I said, all the, you know, crappy ways that I've edited this in Garage Band, because I've just been at this for four and a half hours and I can't be bothered to put music in because that's how my brain works. So Not really an excuse but anyways, so have a great day have a have a great ADHD Awareness Month. I'm glad that I got this opportunity to do this in October and release this in October so I can take advantage of the hashtag for promotion. And just take care everyone and be kind to each other. Have a great day. Bye