Tapping for calm during the virus #317
12:18AM Mar 16, 2020
welcome back to tapping this week. I am Deborah Donnndelinger. And today we're going to be talking and tapping about what is on most people's minds and that is the coronavirus and the impact it's having on you, your communities, your country and also of course, the world. Now, I'm not going to be offering any practical advice, there are plenty of websites that have information for you. We're going to be using the tool of tapping to do some work around centering ourselves, noticing how stressed we feel, calming our nervous systems little bit, and really trying to get to a more grounded place because more and more grounded and less stressed, we can make better decisions, and we can decide what we need to be doing and we can
be clear about what we don't have to be doing.
Now if you're new to tapping, I'm going to explain the points very briefly, please go over and have a look at the diagram under the podcast on my website. Tapping is basically a approach or a technique that you use, you're actually tapping on points on your body, the acupressure points Meridian, often meridian ending points. And by tapping in a progressive way on these points, your body
can relax and you can
address tension you're feeling around very specific things. So tap nation tapping is a combination of tapping on this physical points. And then using the language to tune yourself in is also a form of silent tapping, where you just tap on the points, you didn't notice the emotional tests, you can just tap on the points without words, that is also an option. But I really enjoy playing around with words because it gives us insights into some of the nuances of what's bothering us.
couple rounds of tapping I'll call out the points assuming you're looking at the diagram. And after that, I won't be calling them out and you'll get a feel of the flow. Okay, so the things we're gonna be talking about are, we're going to do four or five rounds of tapping around feeling stressed. What are we worried about? What are we noticing what are we losing? And then I'm going to talk at the end about some strategies for change management.
I used to teach a change management course corporately.
And some of the principles in that course apply to the times we're in right now. And you might be I'll come up with some very specific action steps for yourself.
So I have three questions for you.
So go ahead and rate on a scale of zero to 10, where 10 is really high and zero is doesn't exist, I want you to ask yourself, first question is how stressed are you feeling? And if you're like me, I've been running around at a slightly more stressed pace without really being aware that I was stressed. So just asking ourselves, oh my gosh, how stressed do I feel right now can be a relief, because it's going to give us time to notice and work with what we're feeling.
Zero to 10 how stressed do you feel?
I'm probably like a nine
which is a little bit unusual for me. work really well with stress, but I only feel it as a negative. Okay, so how stressed do you feel? And the next question is, how prepared do you feel? In this case, zero to 10, or 10. Is is high and is a good thing. So I imagine that how prepared you feel and how stressed you feel might be inversely related right now. So how prepared do you feel? I'm like a four. But I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing. We just back up a second. For context. I am in the state of Maryland, and where we are in Maryland, we've had no deaths. And we've had I think, as a Friday, they were 36 cases. We are now at the point where they're doubling every day. And obviously, you'd have in many cases that long.
other parts of the states are at very different places without numbers, and of course, worldwide, you're very different places. So my apologies right now, if you're listening to this and you're in a country that has much more advanced stages of the virus spreading I'm not addressing things that you're experiencing, it's just because I don't know. So I don't want to diminish or negate anybody's experience whatsoever, because of the fact that I'm just in one place. Okay, the other question is how gratitude feel superior to 10? Again, 10, in this case would be good. Zero is like,
I don't feel grounded at all.
Just make a note of those numbers. I actually feel pretty grounded, which is ironic, like, how can you be stressed and grounded at the same time? But hey, we're all wired differently. So how stressed do you feel? how prepared do you feel? And how grounded do you feel?
And one of the things that
one of many things that I know from all my work with different personality systems enneagram and Human Design, is we all have a different relationship to our environment and to stress. Some of us actually thrive on change and chaos, and we actually might be sort of leaping into action. So Some of us might be used to routine and we find comfort and routine. And all the changes going on are going to be pretty much more disruptive to your nervous system, and somebody who thrives on change and newness. The other thing is that some people move into action very easily. And other people need to take time, and reflect and plan. So again, where you on that continuum or spectrum of action versus pausing, we will have a different response to what's going on in your communities
than other people.
So really one of the give space to the way you handle stress the way you engage with change. Now, the way you're doing is fine, it's perfect. And perhaps we can find ways to help you support yourself in a way that's nourishing rather than challenging. Okay, so first tapping, we're stressed. All right, we're going to tap on feeling stressed and we're on the side of the hand point to start and we stay here until I tell you to switch to another point. So you're tapping with the fingers of one hand, along the skinny, Pinky side edge of the hand. Repeat after me out loud with emphasis. Alright. Even though I did not realize how stressed I am feeling
but my body knows that I'm feeling stressed
at work deeply and completely accept
even though I've been feeling stressed because
there's been so much news and information coming at me.
I haven't had time to catch my breath
still inside of the hand
even though I've been feeling stressed.
I've been running around busily trying to prepare for being at home for a few weeks.
I deeply and completely accept myself.
You might notice that you're starting to think about other aspects of why you're stressed. But just stick with the general feeling of stress to start
moving to the eyebrow point in the beginning of the eyebrow
no to the side of the eye, the bone in front of the temple have been really stressed.
under the eye on the bone.
Everyone's been really stressed.
under the nose.
It's like everybody has been breathing in and they forgot to exhale.
Chin point feeling stressed
I'm feeling really stressed.
under the arm,
everybody's feeling very stressed.
top of the head
Okay, stop there now the gentle breath
and some of you might have just been very focused on tapping saying the words and some of you might have been have had other thoughts coming in thinking about the things you've had to change the things you've lost the impact on your life. And that's okay to notice those thoughts coming in. But for when you were in such an acute situation, it really is helpful to take one aspect one dimension at a time.
So I want you to think now
about what are the things that you are losing? Yes, give yourself permission to actually name and you might be surprised at how much emotion you feel here around what you've lost. So for myself, I did notice I was upset about this. I was planning on visiting my mom and seeing she does Morocco, while She lives in Spain. But she has a hotel in Morocco that she's built up over the last 25 years. I've never seen her hotel. And I was planning to take my youngest daughter, celebrating her 18th birthday and we're going to visit, go to Portugal and then visit my mom in Morocco. And the night when Trump announced that flights, he was people from your port and a lot back into the states. I just had this sinking feeling of like, I can't believe this is happening. And then I wrestled with a decision. And the next morning, I'm like, Okay, I'm not going, even though my flights were still intact. And then actually, that evening, the border was close. I couldn't have even gone to Morocco if I'd wanted to. And, of course, this is not losing my life. And it's very easy for us to minimize to minimize what we have lost and what we've been giving up. But I think it's important to pay attention to it because there is emotion there. I have three people in my family who are seniors, to college seniors, my son and his girlfriend and my daughter's high school senior and their seniors last semester is changing rather dramatically. So give yourself permission for the next couple of minutes to notice. What are you losing? What have you lost? Not talking about health and life. I'm talking about people who in your circumstances in your world, how is your rhythm changed? What happened? What are you not able to do? For many people, the loss of this professional sports and the college sports I know my husband is a huge basketball fan. supposed to be going to a pro game and he loves watching the college tournament. It's a massive loss. All right, you got idea. You got enough things in your mind that you've lost right side of the hand and oh, and just notice Do you feel sad? numb? trivial like you do think that you shouldn't be thinking about this when the other consequences much bigger consequences. It's been play.
And we'll tap on the side of the hand
even though part of me still shocked at what's happening. I can't quite believe how quickly the situation's changed.
I deeply and completely trust myself
even though part of me is in utter shock What's happening? plans I had for this spring have come completely upended and uprooted.
I still deeply and completely trust myself
even though part of me is in shock and I haven't quite processed everything that's going on. I'm giving myself time right now, to notice a few things that I'm sad about. Alright, moving through the points I was beginning my eyebrow. I'm so disappointed.
I can't I'm not gonna go I'm not going to see my mom.
Can't believe I'm not coming out to play that game.
I can't believe I'm not coming out to see my friends.
I can't believe the dance was canceled. I
can't believe the trip was canceled.
I can't believe I'm gonna miss this family event.
Okay, good. Stop there gentle breath.
And as I was tapping besides naming the things that were lost in my small, immediate family, I was so aware of the privilege and the situation I'm in where income is not at stake. resources for food and housing are not at stake. At least This my next question and tapping is, what are you worried about? So what happens when we have something big going on the overwhelm, and the stress sort of makes a big rainstorm, a gigantic thunderstorm. And it turns out that if we can calm our systems down a little bit and do some thinking and discerning and feeling and planning will notice the things that are really standing out as a lightning rod that were concerned about. So as you scan the horizon, now, the virus and the impact on your family and your community, and your state in the country in the world, what are you worried about? And this is a time to be incredibly selfish, and then what's really on your radar for yourself. So some of you are worried about your work and your finances. Some of you might be worried about the impact on your peers and the loved ones. So notice what you're worried about and notice if you feels clear, like one or two aspects of it's gotten still like big and fuzzy and there's too many things that you're worried about. And let's do some tapping side of the hand. Even though I'm worried about the elderly people, my family that I care for
I do not want to expose them.
Am I doing enough to contain and self isolate deeply and completely trust myself to have the right information to make the right decision. Even though I'm worried about exposing other people by inadvertently catching and transmitting the virus
Am I doing enough
I deeply and completely trust myself.
Even though I'm worried about having enough food or supplies or household cleaning or toilet paper
I know that I can Find options and then I'm not as stuck as I think. Even though I'm worried about some things that are very much outside of my control and I'm worried about some things that I can find other choices for.
I deeply and completely accept myself
even to the points on the eyebrow. I'm worried I don't know enough. side of the eye. I'm worried I'm not keeping up with the right information. under the eye, I'm worried I'm going to make the wrong decision. under the nose. I'm worried that people are hurting and I can't help them. Chin point I'm open to the idea that I can't do it all. collarbone I'm open to trusting the experts
under my arm under the arm.
I'm so grateful for all the doctors and scientists who are working so hard for this and the nurses and the medical staff top of the head feeling worried and leaning into the experts who do know what they're doing. So two different dimensions come out with a worrying. One is if you feel trapped or stuck, like I don't know what other options I have here. For me the toilet paper thing was like I've got a family of six people in my house I'm like running out of toilet paper. Not going to be really good idea. And then I started researching other options. You know, Europe and Europe they have good days. There are cloth family wipes that you can wash. So there there are leaves from trees there you know, there are many options for toilet paper. So once you can address the stress and recognize what you're actually stressing you out, you can look for other options is how else can I handle this and taking action Or bring tremendous relief to your system. You feel like you have some control, you have some resources that you can think outside of the box. The other dimension to worry is not having enough information and say deciding or who are the experts I can trust. So if you still feel like you have some things that you're worried about, make a note and do some tapping on that later and come up with a couple of ideas. For each one of things. You're worried about one, one or two definitive things you can do to take action on the things that you worried about. And this brings us to the last thing I want to look at for tapping and that is looking at what are your resources? Yeah, what are your resources? It's so easy for us to get caught up on what we don't have. But it once now that we've done some tapping, we've calmed ourselves down. We start to look at what we do have. Oh my gosh, yeah, we're in a really good place. What are your resources? Do you have a place to live? Do you have running water? Do you have running hot water? Do you have soap? Do you have electricity?
Do you have access to information?
Do you have friends you can talk to
do you have animals that need your care? That can be very calming activity? Do you live where you can go outside and not see another person and feel calm and relaxed? Do you live where there are people everywhere and you can feel a sense of support and camaraderie that you're all in it together. What are your resources can be a very relaxing and also ah relief inspiring houmous to make. So tune in and notice how how Stress do you feel now? Perhaps I should ask how relaxed do you feel? My stress is way down. It's probably I don't feel stressed at all this very moment, my stress is down to zero.
How prepared do you feel?
That brings the stress back up again. And I feel like I'm missing something. So I could do some more tapping by myself around what am I missing? And is there an action plan? Anything I need? I might have to make some lists here to see do some brainstorming.
Then how grounded do you feel?
I feel really grounded right now.
So I mentioned a couple idea. A couple times idea of making an action plan or making a couple of lists of steps of things to do is I want to go back to the change management training. I used to do facilitation. And I can remember all the points in the course but one of them is that we're going through a change and this is a change having a coronavirus pandemic worldwide. If affecting our lives affecting our countries is a change on so many levels. And whenever there's a change, whether it's positive change or negative change, there are certain characteristics that happen to us and one is that everything takes more thought and effort. So things that were routine are now taking conscious thought an effort so we have less available decision making power used to be we'd go to the grocery store, we go to the gas station, we didn't have to think about it was routine. But now we have to think about other things. Do I want to wear gloves? Or how do I wipe down the handle all these new things, so give yourself a break, and just know everything. It's like the first day of school is like moving into a new place, everything is taking thought and effort, you will be able to do less. So first thing is everything takes more thought and effort. So the second point is that shorten your to do list. Really set short term goals and objectives like oh man, if I can just figure out how to get laundry done today with less so I'll be happy. shorten your time time horizon if you normally think and week's thinking days and give yourself a break, imagine that you have just moved someplace new and you don't speak the language and you know how hard that is. So yeah, can be really gentle and have short term objectives. And the last thing, and we're already seeing this in many different ways is that when we're going through a change, posit positive or negative, everything is loosened up our structures, our habits are being shaken up, it can be a chance to re evaluate things. You might realize that there's certain things in your life that you don't have now that you might not miss if they go away. So this could be a time to be curious and say, okay, perhaps I can do things differently. Is this a habit that I want to develop in a different form that benefits me in the community in the environment?
Yeah, so short term to do lists.
Give yourself a break, and tap or do deep breathing when you feel feeling stressed, we make better decisions when we're stressed when we're not stressed or more relaxed. Okay, this is longer than normal. I hope this helps. It won't all fit, but some of it might. If you have questions or something you want me to address, just drop me an email. And my heart just goes out to all the communities that are seeing rapid transmission rates. And I know
that everybody is pulling together and we will get through this.
We will be a changed country for sure.
And I hope that not too many people end up dying from this. And just blessings and Godspeed to those that have. Hmm. Okay, thank you, everybody. I appreciate you very much. And until next
time, keep tapping