Welcome to front and center. Thank you for coming back and joining us. If you recall from our seven previous conversations, which if you haven't watched them, I really encourage you to do. We finished with John blades, and her co founding of living room conversations and how that is a great first step for many are the next step to re humanizing each other. But beyond that many people yet aren't ready for that. So we want to introduce to you an amazing author and researcher who's got a great program, but I'm not going to give that away. I'm gonna let my my partner here introduce you formally. Steve, take it away, please.
Well, thanks, Michael. You know, in these times where there is this bipolar insanity in our current political newgard situation, we can see how easy it is to fall back into habits of separation. Well, that begs the question, can we actually develop habits of unity? Well, our guest today, Elaine Park, is the author of the habits of unity 12 months to a stronger America, one citizen as time after she spent 25 years in the corporate world specialized in mass media marketing, she spent the past 35 years using those skills to help people get along better. Her first book was called Join the golden rule, revolution practice one habit each month of the year, was published in 2001. And for the past 30 years, her 12 habits of social unity model has been impacted millions of citizens and young people in the US and around the world. I'm gonna offer a quote from the book here from from Elaine, and that will be the introduction, quote, I wrote this book because like me, you may find it stressful to feel like a helpless bystander in this toxic era of division in America. If you really think about it, however, national unity won't trickle down to help us. Good citizens like us must Trickle Up, or as we would say, bubble up and add our better bubbling up from the bottom and stuff trickling down from the from the top. Welcome, Elaine.
Nice to be here. Steve. Nice to be here, Michael, lovely afternoon for talking about unity.
Good. Well, we're all united about that. So let's begin with your story. How did you begin this work? How did you get started? How did this work develop?
Well, of course, the beginning is usually in one's childhood. And I, I was a badly abused child. So needless to say, I was very sensitive to the way I was treated, and I wanted people to treat each other better, especially me. And I was very blessed. And then when I was 11, a neighbor introduced me to volunteering. I went to the Red Cross, and I became a junior Red Cross volunteer. And all of a sudden at age 11. You know, for the first time, people said nice things to me. They were complimenting me and thanking me for the work I was doing. And, you know, thank God for volunteering. And I've been a dedicated volunteer the rest of my life because I always wish as I'm still volunteering today, that whoever I'm volunteering to help, gets as much out of it as I do, because being able to volunteer changed my life. But I became sensitized to help people treat each other better because it was so much a part of my core. I went on. As a student at Northwestern University, I volunteered mentoring, Cobra, racketeer advice, Lord gang kids and the north side of Chicago. I continued volunteering, everything I raised my kids, and then eventually, I became a corporate advertising executive. And while at the same time I was volunteering, so I would, you know, I go do my volunteer work, and yes, I would help a child or two or a classroom. And then I go to my corporate office, and with a staff of 10 or 12 people, I routinely influence the buying behaviors of hundreds of 1000s of people. So one night, you know, I sort of had that moment thing, you know, people talk about the AHA, the white light, I don't know what you want to call it. But this moment happened in October of 1987. I'd come home from a particularly poignant volunteer experience, feeling that elation about Success. But that says that there's never enough volunteers. There's never enough. And that night I sort of had this, this, this revelation, that the months of the year, could be brand names for 12 aspects of helping people to get along better together. And the cool thing about the months are, that's the amount of time it takes to make a habit. And at least at that point in time, the only celebration, so to speak, that sort of claimed a whole month was black history month, the month we're starting into right now, which is February Black History Month. So it's like, once I realized I had this revelation, I'm thinking to myself, who are you are up there, you know, don't give that to me give it to Ted Turner, Bill Gates, or somebody who can really pull it off, you know, I'm just this little person. But you know, I started putting one foot in front of the other, I found a small community in Pennsylvania, where I was, we started there, within a couple of weeks. So what I did was we named each month of the year one of 12 has the aspects of getting along together, maybe you could put this slide up. So one of the book, Michael here shows the 12 habits. So I had the idea about the months being brand names for habits, but when in Somerset, Pennsylvania, where I started this a whole group of people, you know, students, the mayor, though owner of a local radio station, the head of the worship society, a whole group of people got together and they spent almost nine months saying, Okay, if we're going to make January, a habit, what should it be if we're going to make February a habit? What should it be? So I had the vision about making each month a brand name for one of 12 aspects of behaviors that inspire people to get along together. But the group of people in Somerset, Pennsylvania helped think through what each month what each month's habit is. And there's actually if you read the book, you'll see there's a logic, like January's habit, is help others. That's because in December, there's help all over the place. And you know, everybody's raising money to give food to these kids and clothing and Christmas presents and on and on and on. But in January, all that giving drops of the toilet, and there's more suicides in January than any other month. So we decided let's make January help others. So the giving spirit keeps going February as you count obviously, it's Black History Month, how do you make that concept of view count apply to everybody, we make it you count march in like a lion out like a lamb resolve conflicts. April is already Earth in Earth Day, but you can't make a habit in a day you need a month. So we made April take care of your environment. May is be grateful. It was rough. You know, some people thought November should be grateful because of thanksgiving. But in May there's Veterans Day and Mother's Day and you know the end of the year is happening and a whole lot of grateful things are happening in May so we decided that Thanksgiving is kind of a positive attitude and we made November positive attitude and may may be grateful June you know, end of the year summer starting you know, retire make it a month to think about getting getting out of yourself and elevating yourself. July become involved in our community keying off of our forefathers becoming involved in founding our country. August kind of a chill month, so why not think about who you are, you know, how do your values affect the way you spend your time? September do your best coming back from vacation starting back to work? Kids starting back to school. So hey, man, hit it. Let's do your best. October Be patient and listen, settle down. Teachers are hoping that kids are going to settle down and be patient and listen. And by the way, that's my month. I have I really have to work on my patients and listening skills. November heading into the winter months show a positive attitude and finally, the holiday season. Let's celebrate community family and friends instead of stuff. And with the supply chain. The supply chain backed up this year. Is it a good thing we were focusing on giving ourselves and one another instead of buying stuff?
Wow, cover water. I'd like to back up if you don't mind. You mentioned about how long it takes to develop a habit. Right? How many days to do the research say you need to repeat a practice to
all the research says it takes between 21 to 30 days to make or break a habit. That's why you know once I had this idea that we could make each month a brand name for one of 12 aspects in practice that the whole month. Like in my book, there's a reading for every day, but it's just a little half a page. So even though each day's reading is a little different for for that month, it's a little different insight on the same behavior. So by the end of the month, you've really deep into that behavior in your psyche, and then your consciousness, and it's become more a part of who you are as a person.
Wow. Sounds like a great tool for both parents and teachers alike. Have you brought this study in work into the schools? And if so, can you tell
us about that? Oh, yes, my goodness gracious. Yes, it began in the Somerset schools and, and throughout Pennsylvania, it's probably been between two and 300 schools and communities. Probably couple 100,000 Kids, at least in a school, usually there's a team, a 12 Habits team, you know, who forms then we make posters and flyers, the kids even get pencils. These are table tents for the library to see the colors. They match the book. So that the kids are like surrounded by the habits during that month. And then the first of the next month is the 12 habit day, all the posters from the former months go down, the new posters go up, teachers have activities, we celebrate each of these activities, each of these habits going through the year and the first of the month starts a new habit. A lot of schools hold school assemblies. Some some schools work with a local radio stations, kids write 32nd, radio spots, and then they're invited down to the radio stations to actually cut the radio spots on help others or be appreciative or whatever the monthly habit is. I mean, people have so much fun, being good. Isn't that cool? Stephen got some questions there.
Yeah, I think the fun part is really very key to all of this. Because again, we know we're so often in so many different ways told what to do. And this is something that is much more easily realized. When you know all I can do that. That sounds like fun. I'm curious, though, I think I have the answer to it. But I think I want to hear more about this. We have qualities like gratitude, and these are similarly personal qualities. How does something like gratitude become a habit of unity? Why is that a habit of unity?
Well, I think, I think unity, ultimately is a is a organic, you know, sort of achieving unity is going to be organic, in that part of the emphasis needs to be on qualities that uplift us. And many people are suffering from mental health issues, you know, drugs, I mean, all kinds of things. Needless to say, we're all suffering from the, from the depression of the COVID, and so forth. So some of the months are about personal development, like, February is you count uplifting, personal empowerment, self esteem, so and so forth. January is help others. So that's a relationship behavior. March's resolve complex, that's a relationship behavior. So it's, it sort of organically combines both personal development habits and relationship habits, together with of course, April, is take care of your environment, you know, we're going to do all of this, we got to take care of the earth. So that's what makes it holistic. That's what makes it something that ultimately results in Unity. You see, the question is, and I think the question that our, our culture in the United States is answering incorrectly right now is, what is the narratives? Is the narrative about our differences? Or is the narrative about our sames. And we need to have a higher ratio of the narrative being about how we're like to balance all this narrative about how and why we're different. You see what I'm saying?
Exactly. And again, we live in a culture where we're told that happiness is something that's outside of ourselves, pursuit of happiness, right? And you look at certain people and go wow, if taper pursuing happiness, they must have run right past it. Right. So so what we're so what you're what you're actually looking at is having people cultivate something from the inside out, that can radiate to the outside and influence influence people. And what's amazing to me is that in our secular public school systems, because I guess they don't want to get into values and religion and all of that. This is something that doesn't actually get addressed. How to be with with other people.
Yes, it would mean it would be untrue of me to say that I don't have a perspective on that kind. But I leave it entirely out of there was not I have a religious spiritual perspective. But that's mine. That's personal. None of that is in this book. You know, this has been in public schools everywhere because no specific religion, except the common denominator, which is why the first book was called the golden rule. You know, every every world religion somewhere in their great books, refers to the golden rule. The first language of the golden rule from its from the Egyptian or the Sumerian sun, God Ooh, to whatever has breath, you shepherd equally. You are their keeper above and below. I just love that. That's my favorite version of the golden rule.
Wow. Ooh, too. And you too? That's good.
I almost got that wrong.
Is it? Oh, are you 202? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead.
I was gonna say there's a, there's a Cherokee, Cherokee legend or parable about an old grandfather, I think, reflects on where we are today, that reflects on the thing about good and evil. So this grandson is telling or this grandfather is telling his grandson about these two wolves inside of this. The the the wolf is evil and The Wolf of good, and they're fighting inside to gain control of us. And so the the young grandson says Book grandfather, which wolf wins, and the grandfather says, it's the wolf you feed. And we are feeding the the divisive, bad wolf of violence and anger and hate and separation that's hurting our country. Would you put up the unifying issue neutral slide, Michael? Sure. This is a diagram that's in the book that sort of explains how this works. All right.
There you go. So
you know, the, the upward triangle, you know, shows the upward movement. And at the bottom is, you know, the worst case scenario and where we are right now, which is separatism and racism and all these negative forces that are driving us apart, and know how the notice how the arrows are pushing away. So right now, I think we're, we're far from unifying, we're pushing away from each other as a society here in America, there was a period we went through where we had a big deal about appreciation of diversity, where we acknowledged that we were different, and we acknowledge our differences. But we worked on appreciating those differences in one another. And that still had an us and them to it, but at least the forces were pulling the us and them together. And that is one of the things to look at when we look at at healing some of the wounds in the division this. But what my book and this model is saying is when we focus on ideals that we all have in common, that nobody is different about. I mean, is there anybody that doesn't want to be patient in this? And is there anybody that doesn't know that they need to count? I mean, is there not in 30 years? Has anybody ever disagreed with any of these 12 Common Ground core values? So when we put some of our emphasis on these 12 core values that were there are no differences that helps to bring harmony and balance to the negativity and divisiveness that's going on? is I call it the evolution from human relations to humane relations with an E on the end of human wouldn't that be cool if someday we all became humains?
And and if we actually lives up to our name humankind by practicing human kindness, that would be a nice segue.
Exactly, exactly. So I don't know if you want to ask me, but not knowing what I know about marketing. A lot of people look at my book and the colors the month, they say, oh, you know, you're just some lady with these colors and these ideas, and, oh, it's not really very powerful. But of course, those same people ignorantly buy their car insurance from lizards
are out there for sure.
Because people who know what I know, know how to move minds, know how to get people to do things, using mechanisms that on a surface look, look completely as though they're not dangerous or harmful, or or in any way going to change your mind. For instance, Coca Cola has the song and like teach the role to sing in perfect harmony. It's a wonderful song. Nobody knows who's wrote it because it's a someone that works in advertising for Coca Cola, but Coca Cola using marketing, systematic marketing messaging, organized messaging strategies, is a is a 45 billion dollar annual year, a year sales company, they're the 84th largest corporate largest current country, Porter, they're bigger as a corporation, then the economy of Puerto Rico is a company. And they're selling a sticky, sweet brown liquid. So if they can, if they can use marketing tools to do that, then we can use those same tools to get everybody coming together and practicing these 12 habits. Would you like to know what some of the methods are?
Sure, we would love to do that. And I got a question. I have a framing question for you. Because this this came up, just as I was looking at that, considering all of this and that is the difference between persuasion and coercion? The difference between propaganda and M propaganda, that's, that's done in an improper way. So how do you take these principles of persuasion, and have them be clean enough so that there's a fundamental integrity and how you're communicating with people as opposed to trying to use these other manipulative tactics of fear, and getting people angry? And all of that that, unfortunately, is used a lot in our political discourse these days?
Well, you're absolutely right. And of course, the answer to that is very simple. And that is, we think that the media is the enemy, okay, the media, but the enemy isn't the media, the media could be our friend, my work is proving that what the enemy is, is the messaging that's in the media. So when the messaging is violence, hate divisiveness, fake truth, violence, on and on when, when what the media is carrying, is those messages, then, of course, they're negative and harmful. But when the media is carrying messages that says be appreciative, London and do your best resolve conflicts, you see what I'm saying? Now, it's not negative, but some of the some of the rules of marketing that make marketing work and make it persuasive. For instance, this model could be called a character education model. But character education says, you know, be responsible, be loyal, be trustworthy, be courageous, okay? But marketers use call to action language. Nike says just do it. Marketers invite the customer to do what it is they want them to do. They don't tell them, I'm you've never seen a corporation to sell you something, issue a mandate that you have to buy their product, you know, again, haven't they have to do it with persuasion. So they say to you, please buy my product. So my, these 12 Habits say, lend a hand, it invites the person who's reading the book, who's hearing the message, to act out the behavior, it's Invitational, it's very light, but very powerful when it's used correctly. Obviously, another principle I've already touched on is branding. brand names stand for the products that they want us to buy. We all know Coca Cola, someday, I'm hoping March will be the brand name for resolve conflicts. When people hear March, they'll know what's a month of the year. But they'll think, oh, that's the, that's the month I got to call Fred because I gotten caught up, gotten a fight with Fred few months ago. And I'm gonna call him up in March and fix it all up. You see, it can it can happen. Color coding, you know, we know corporations have colors that represent their corporations. So each of the months has a color code. I mean, there are many more, but I just want to give your audience a few of them. So they'll understand that this is a highly sophisticated machine that is persuasive. But as persuasive about the things that we do want to bring into our lives, and that are going to make life better.
This, this whole issue of developing habits of how to treat people, assets of unity. Yes. That's something I want to come back to. Because so many people right now can't take that step. As I alluded to briefly in the introduction to the show, they're not ready to talk to somebody who thinks differently. So these habits of unity that you have there, that can be taught by school teachers and make it fun in the school room. So the kids start to do it but it's also something that parents can do with their kids. And, and what they model to their children is far more important than anything they ever say is how they model these habits of unity, how they model how they treat other people. What they do in the community? Absolutely. It's
it's, as you're saying, I read in your summary, you know, the points that you had summarized from the seven interviews that you've done prior to talking to me today, you know, and you're saying in your summary that we that you want to watch we record now. And here we are now, and I'm on the air with you, is a compelling and unifying story. So that habits of unity is a compelling and unifying story that it can be told month by month, all year long. Everybody could could have a part in the story. Yeah, there's a, there's a part in the story for everyone. Even though we all celebrate holidays, the same, this the same holidays, we don't celebrate them all the same. Everybody does their own unique little way of making, making that celebration personal to them. In the communities where we've done this, we've had people just do amazingly creative things. Dennis, take posters with the monthly habits and put them on the ceiling, above their patients while they're drilling. 31 of the fun parts of this for me is, is watching other people take a hold of it, I go into a school and a teacher comes up to me and she's just painted her fingernails the color of the month.
We refer to that as unity without uniformity. Yes. For the individuality that we all have, right now that we're not everyone is unique. And as we used to celebrate, quote, diversity, yes. It's some people were afraid of that because they they thought this was trying to create uniformity. No, we want to have unity, that unity in the heart unity that connects us on on an emotional values level, right? This actually right Michael Worsley, the the Unity without uniformity,
very much. So that's exactly what this is all about. I mean, that the habits are just a hook, just a theme, you know, just a single thought or idea. And then the person who is hearing that thought or idea can can personalize it and make it alive and practice it in their own life, according to their own creativity, you know, a kid could hear it and take a piece of paper and sit down with a box of crayons and make a poster. I mean, it's just there's no end to what people can do to make this happen. Once again, gets going. I mean, my dream is that this will catch hold. I'm hoping that radio and TV stations will get involved. Katie, the reason that reached two or 3 million people in Pittsburgh is because Katie K TV produced 32nd radio spots using their anchor news people. And you know, they would show two or three times a day all over the southwestern Pennsylvania Pittsburgh regions, telling people to lend a hand do your best, you can go on YouTube and look at those Katies K TV spots. And then that inspired people in the communities and the whole thing grew.
You know, we've heard about, you know, there's been a lot said about about our rights and so on. And recently somebody was talking about, well, you know, with rights come responsibilities, we kind of build up a bill of responsibilities. And in in a certain regard, you know, I like anagrams, too. So creative and reactive. They're an anagram same letters, different arrangement. And so what you're offering is a way for people to be creative, proactive, instead of reactive. And every one of these practices, I mean, they really practice severe when when you actually take a have a value and turn it into a habit, that becomes a practice. And in a certain regard, instead of waiting for something to intervene from the outside. These are ways that we can actually take responsibility for the for what we're putting out in our space and our physical space. So I can see how these habits can really raise the you know, to use the word vibration can raise the vibration in any community, as people become aware and start using these things in their own lives.
I mean, there's no question about it, and the consciousness is already out there. You know, there's a number of million people in the central part of the United States and in Africa, and we'll get to that. In Rwanda. You know, where the consciousness of this is already there. And so once this book starts to go and gets popular and the people start doing it, and media outlets start to pick it up, and it gets going, you know, it'll it'll tie into the consciousness of the 12 Habits this already they're going back to your point about responsibilities, though. I do have a topic I do often talk on, which is that our forefathers are to blame. For the divisive is the country because, you know, they were reaction that you talked about being reactionary, they were reacting to the oppression of the British rule. And so they were very, very concerned about protecting their rights, much more so than about being responsible as a citizen in a democracy. So they created our government, they wrote a bill of rights, but you know what, they didn't write it. They didn't write a parallel bill of responsibilities. I mean, in order to be a good citizen, okay, vote, and maybe don't break the law. But beyond that, there's no nothing defining how you should live your daily life, to be a good citizen of this great country. And these 12 habits do a pretty good job of helping form people into better citizens and happier citizens. Actually, there's a warning on this book to either you guys see it. The warning on the back of the book? Uh huh.
Yeah, remember it? Yeah, go ahead, refresh my memory.
Warning says Warning, this book is habit forming, and may cause a happier life.
Point on your website, I remember seeing that happy people don't cheat or lie, that song there that you had so well done. And I was very grateful, and happy people don't cheat or lie. You mentioned something about that, that indigenous story of the wolf, we feed. Which reminds me also of that which we focus on, which is a segment that which we focus on is what correlates and these values of unity by focusing on those, those are the things that will get bigger, rather than what we see in the in our movies, TVs, etc, of violence and those ways to deal with conflict, right ways to defuse conflict, here's ways to look for how what things we value in each other, and make those bigger and minimize those things that separate us and divide us.
Absolutely. I mean, I don't want to get a little edgy here and bring in anything that's conflicting, but I think we're a little bit edgy.
We welcome you to do that, by the way, we.
But I mean, I kiddingly earlier in our conversation, when I was describing December being about community, family and friends and saying, you know, is it it's a good thing that, that because we're focusing on the, on the on the intangible aspects of giving to one another, giving our time giving ourselves, we don't care whether the supply, chains of goods and services are, are caught up, and we're not getting the stuff we need. Because, I mean, I think we've really become, and I'm at fault. I mean, my skill marketing is part of who's at fault for the fact that we're an over consuming society. Because the stuff that we buy, they bring us pleasure. Maybe, maybe, you know, something that you bought gives you pleasure, I hope buying the habits immunity book will give you pleasure. But But, but but pleasure and happiness are different. There's a contentment to happiness. The song Happy people don't cheat or lie. One of the things I learned early in life with a very overpowering mother who was treated me badly, you know, I sort of would sneak around the edges a little bit. And I learned as a very young child that I don't care what you call it, call it Gibney, cricket, cricket, but we have something in our consciousness in us that knows right from wrong. I mean, unless there's something wrong with us psychologically, and that's a whole nother matter. But most of us, we have a core sense of what's right and wrong inside of us. You can call it consciousness. You could call it you know, the human spirit called Jiminy Cricket. So that when we're when we're behaving badly toward others, cheating, others stealing, lying, those kinds of things. You can't be happy, because little part inside of you can't let you be in totally happy because you're not totally content with yourself. And that's a big part of what people are missing. And I think it's a big part of what's causing so much mental so many mental health issues today is that people are in their divisiveness, they're getting into untruths, and they're stepping outside the lines and doesn't have a party to it. It's happening in all directions. But they're they're losing sight of their core, navigating north star that we all have about what right and wrong is,
I think a real major contributing factor that is how we're taught in this Fast paced world. Everything is react quick. Everything's moved now. Yes. Don't take the time to back up and think, pause before they speak, allow that inner guidance of their conscience. Perfect to wreck them. Yes, that's something that we need to help us slow down and not react. Think pause, let that inner guidance come forward. Right?
Because if we're not, and again, as someone gets this book, or if they can't get the book, they can go to the website, which is 12 habits for all of us.org. And the 12. And the four are numbers. Okay, so 12 habits for all of us.org all the everything is there, you can even load down PDFs, and print out your own posters and flyers and bookmarks and everything right on the website. So as
a parent or teacher, you could go to your website, which again, was repeat that please,
excuse me, the URL of site 12 habits for all of us. And the 12 is a number and the four is a number 12 habits for all of us.org
most of those tools will be there. Yes, people to download great
under under how to share the menu topic is how to share and under how to share. I mean, I'm hoping that people will get the book. Every day there's a there's a daily reading, there's just a minute a day, I call it a motivational, not an inspirational, but a motivational. And guess what motivational pill. Oral is not a word every time. Every time I type it in when I was writing the book, but I call it a book of motivational. It does not it's not an it's not a noun, but I've made it into a noun. Because this book is full of daily motivational. So it's a handbook. It's a it's a map, someone can get this book, whatever day it is just start reading it on that day. And start just one minute a day. If you're a home schooler, your kids are getting off to school in the morning, take one minute while they're eating something for breakfast, just read that half minute, you know, get this habit going in your in your household, then go to your social media sites, pick up something out of the book postage for other people. You know, let's get this show on the road guys.
Well, a lot of people are asking all the time, what can I do they see the problems are so overwhelming, and they have to realize is that they at least can change themselves. As Gandhi says Be the change in the world you want to see absolutely be that change. And this is a great step forward, that we want our audience and others to share, and help us all begin to see the change that we want.
You know, there's something I want to add to that. Because you know, again, in context, we just finished interviewing John blades, talking about living room conversations, which is a way for people face to face on Zoom now to re humanize one another and make the connection. And this what you're offering is an individual habit that anybody can do in the world at large in the world at small. I saw a definition of the term, an idea whose time has come. And what characterizes an idea whose time has come is that there's no opposition to it. In other words, it's so self evident that it doesn't have any it's a context without opposition. So you're not going to find a lot of people saying no, we should not have these habits of unity and Betterment we should not have those. So this is something that can be gently overlaid on any belief system, on any religion on any ethical system. That again, as you say, reflect the golden rule as a way to overrule the rule of gold. You use that in your book as well. And and so what's really, what's really very powerful about this is that there is no opposition to this idea. It doesn't engender an opposing position.
Exactly. And, and another important point I want to make and I hope I can make this gently I like the way you use the word jelly Steve. The people that want this to happen, you know, you and all the people who I mean there's a Institute and universities a unity there's, I mean, there's there's so many initiatives about unity around the country. But the problem is and have conversations, but the people who engage as a choir. They're the people who already already have Have some part of them that want to make it happen and want to make it better. This model isn't is designed to reach the people who may not know that they want to engage in unifying conversations or learn about unifying behavior. You don't need to learn anything in this book. You know, it's just, I mean, unless you didn't know that being patient, and listening was a good thing. Like, we've done lots of research, and we have done in different communities. The research, even though they're in different communities years apart, has been almost parallel, after two to three years in a community. Independent research has shown that this is the mass community, this is a man on the street questions have shown that almost 70% of the people after several years, say they feel more warmth and connected as their connectedness and their community. And almost 30% said that because they saw a message, they actually altered their behavior. Hmm. And there's been research surveys where kids are people, you know, write down what is this? What are the 12 has done for you? And my absolute favorite, my favorite of the 1000s, hundreds of 1000s of answers to that question is that is a student in sixth grade, and it was in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia, where I live now wrote, I'm now nice to the people I used to be mean to. Awesome. I mean, what? Yeah, what more is there?
Now, I want to back up real quick without beating a dead horse. But when, as you were talking about unity, and there's so much buzz about unity, but turned off so many people over the last number of years, is when we've had presidents, I'm all about unity, and other leaders talk about you. But at Unity, as long as you conform to the way I believe it was the exact opposite of the type of unity from the heart, it was unity, to drive uniformity, if you will, great unity. Oh, by the way, you just have to believe what I believe. And that is the opposite of everything that we and you and many others are about. It's unity. Without uniformity, its unity in the heart of the understanding of our connected nature, at that level, and how we must allow each other not allow from a tolerance standpoint, which is a belligerent type of oh, you know, judgmental arrogance. It's truly respecting with dignity, your equal right to believe and feel the way you do, as long as what that is does not have a negative personal impact on me in some kind of a confrontation of violence or, or confrontation.
You couldn't have said it better, Michael and, and getting back to the way I had, I think somewhere in my book, I talked about how unity is not going to trickle down, it's going to trickle up. And Steve, bless your heart, corrected me and said, you know, these don't Trickle Up, it has to bubble up. So if every person who's hearing your broadcast, who's hearing me talk today is hearing us half this discussion, decides to get involved in these 12 habits. And I hope they do. Just remember, as they do, then they will be bubbling up unity, right from their own person, there'll be bubbling into their family, there'll be bubbling it into their community, into their workplace, in their social media network, you know, they can start bubble up these 12 habits. And the beauty of it is that even though it might happen in fragmented places, you know, here and here and here and here, because we're already doing the say that was we're all doing March resolve conflicts, when suddenly it comes together. Everybody will already be doing the same thing. We don't mean it reminds
me of the lunch brigade that when we were all kids, the song that was son, smile and be happy. And the whole room smiles with you. Yes, yes. silly as that was and fun is that was how true that is.
Right? It's the butterfly effect. You know, a few, if you in a positive way, start practicing, not start I mean, everybody's doing this to a certain degree. But what I'm saying with this book and with this 12 Habits model is to become much more intentional. I totally love the book that Steve wrote with Bruce Lipton, spontaneous evolution, when I'm suggesting is intentional evolution, from human to humane by designing a strategy to intentionally evolve The way we behave and treat ourselves and one another, so that going forward, we can become a civil, a more civilized society, in our humaneness and in our ability to, to live from our hearts. And have that be the dominant theme of what civilization is rather than technology and stuff. A couple that wrote the biggest book on history ever written will and Ariel Durant summed it in, maybe it's a good close, summed that progress of civilization into one sentence, they wrote, like, hundreds of 1000s of words on civilization. And they're one single sentence, in summation, civilization is just the slow progress toward being kind.
And that's what we're about. And that will bring unity.
Wow, that's very true, you've actually turned the the great ideal into the real deal that people can practice that people can practice on a daily basis. And I want to reiterate your a wonderful story about which will we feed, because no matter what else is going on, we may not have control over what happens to us, we do have a little bit more control of how we respond to that, and how we, we bring that into a world. And so I think the more people who engender this response of openness and curiosity and gratitude and love and connection, you're going to be more people out there who will say, I'll have what they're having.
That's the idea. I mean, in in marketing in my former corporate marketing days, but I used to be the bad guy. You know, that the idea is that your first consumers will be the ones most like you, as I was saying, you know, with the conversations, efforts, and so many efforts, right now, the issue there is, the people who are engaging are the choir, they're the people who already have some interest. And and the same people will be the first ones who will run out and buy this book, there's no question. But as they spread it out, it'll get it'll gradually get to the people that are more and more difficult to bring around. And that's how something grows, something good grows.
Right? The early adopters,
marketing textbook,
I got it sorted. Right? So So generally, we have people right here, right at this very moment. Whatever else is going on in their lives, whatever they're concerned about whatever issues they have, that are perhaps divisive. This is at least something that they can do that's going to enhance their own well being and consequently, the well being of others around them.
Absolutely. Steve, how much I appreciate this opportunity to speak with the two of you today.
Before we close, I would like to ask you to something in your heart of hearts. What would you say is your vision of the more beautiful and just world that your heart knows as possible? How would you describe that?
I would describe it as a world where everyone takes advantage of the opportunities that come to them every single day, to to be helpful to be a constructive part of the world, to make somebody's life a little bit better. You know, if you're a conservative, you know, we think government does too much. Okay, and we don't want your government taking over everything. But governance taking over because people being there for one another has stepped back this morning, in the middle of whatever it was I was doing a friend called whose heating heat went out and they knew I had a heater. So I drove over a heater. It took 20 minutes. And so I'm saying that, that a better world is when every single person wakes up in the morning is not only aware of themselves, but is aware of the people around them. They listen to each other, they think about each other, they have compassion for one another. And as Steven I think said or both of you said, you know Living from the heart. That's the idea of the better world. And the book, the habit, the habits of unity is a handbook. It's a tool. It's a map. It's a way to start someone on the path toward getting to Living from the heart more on a day to day basis. And as the book says, heeding the warning that if they do that they just might have a happier life.
And remember habits can be habit forming. Yes.
I won't forget that, Steve.
I'd like to kind of have a way of closing its, quote, something that you've written. It's way past time for us to take a collective deep breath, and treat others with dignity, respect, and civility, and listen to them, whether we agree or not. Elaine adds, it's urgent that we make this shift now. Yes. Thank you so very much. And I can't wait to see where we can help each other take this message forward. And see, would you have anything else in closing that you would like to add?
Yeah, I really I want to echo that I really see that we want to be a vehicle for getting this underway. Because as I said earlier, there's no opposition to this idea. It. It's bigger than any religion or non religion. It's simply practical ways for us to live. And I remember a quote from one of your one of your talks about, about a youngster who realized that nobody ever taught him how to be Oh, yes,
that's exactly right. It was a classroom where the Pennsylvania health department, we were awarded the violence for Youth Award. And they were talking to kids about how this helped them. And it was an alternative classroom where kids were had problems. And this big tall kid, it answered that question said, until now, nobody ever told me how to be interesting.
Very good. Well, I think that's really a wonderful ending point and lesson. Because we do have these tools available. Let's proliferate them and proliferate them because we could use
Collaborate anytime you want.
Okay, very good. Thank you. Thank you so much lane for sharing your amazing life work, and with us at a time when we need it.
Thank you, Steve. Thank you, Michael. And thank you for all that you're doing to move forward. This badly needed harmony and unity in our country today.
And with that, I'd like to say thank you all for watching. Please, as as they say, on all these channels, you know, like, share, etc. subscribe, do all of those things, if you would to help us spread this message. But then it's a long journey ahead. But it's a journey that we must take, and it's definitely worth taking. We hope you'll take it with us and remember, from political battlefields, to cooperative playing fields, until we meet again, thank you, one at all. Bye bye
