In today's episode, you're going to be hearing from Steff Galante about all things self care, real self care, not the way that we tend to think about self care with the bubble baths and the candles and the spa days. I love Steff's work because she is actively challenging that narrative and changing it. One of the things that Steff said to me one day, and I was like, You need to say that more, please, is like, it doesn't matter how much you work out, you're not going to be healthy if you don't know how to take care of yourself. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, that is your line. Please keep repeating that line. So here I am repeating it for her. Steph is going to be sharing with you why meeting your needs. First is the single most important thing that you can do as a person in any relationship. Definitely, as a business owner, as well. Most important for you most important for the people that you support most important for the work that you do. And she's going to be covering eight areas that you can address to create a really intentional rhythm for yourself to tend to your own needs on a daily basis. I love this episode. I love what she's sharing here, I know that you will as well. And when I tell you that stuff, knows her shit and is sharing such like just such an incredible amount of value in this episode, keep your ears open, and you might want to listen more than once because it is pretty packed. I was really impressed that she did it in such a short time. To be honest, it was much more concise than I would have been able to be. Steph is also going to share with you the rules that she's breaking in her own business. Some of the big lessons that she's had as she made some really cool, exciting transitions over the past few months, including taking all of her offers and putting them under like one umbrella. If you love hearing from staff today, make sure to go to the links in the show notes, check out her self care collective, she has a free training. She also has workshops that she does every month. Steph is somebody that we can all learn so much from. So again, head to the link in the show notes. You can find all of her work there so that you can connect with stuff. And I'm not going to make you wait any longer
is that the sound of a 90s rock radio station, a sign of the rule breaker takeover. For my rule breaking clients take over the show to share their wisdom teachings and lessons from their own business growth or peaceful loving bunch. But we also reject just about everything that we're supposed to do. And if I say so myself, I think we make the world just a little bit cooler and inspire others to bring out their inner badass. So deep down, I think we're metal as fuck. If you want to join these Rule Breakers and myself You can learn more about the Rule Breakers crew at Brooke dash monaghan.com
Mona-G-han
but you don't need to be in that space to be in community with or learn from these brilliant business owners. So head to the shownotes to find their work because we could all use just a few more badass is in our network
Hi everyone, my name is Steff Gallante, my pronouns are she and her. And today I'm taking over the Transcend Your Dichotomy podcast. I'll be discussing with you the recent growth areas and changes I've experienced in my business, as well as the importance of prioritizing self care as a business owner. And I'll be sharing simple yet impactful practices you can implement in your daily life that will support you in doing your best work as a driven and impact focused entrepreneur. In terms of my social location, I am a cisgender person of color in a female identified small and currently able bodied. I am a heterosexual middle ish class American citizen of indo Caribbean descent, and I have medium brown skin. English is my first language. I have a master's degree and I am neurotypical have stable mental health most days. I live on the ancestral lands of the Lenni Lenape P people in central New Jersey. I am the daughter of immigrants from Trinidad and Jamaica, a wife and a mama of two incredibly energetic, curious young children. I am also a business owner. I am a feeler I feel everything all the time and I feel it deeply. My signs are Pisces Sun Aries, moon and Leo rising. The intersection of all of these identities shape how I experience the world and I recognize that my lived experiences are different from those who hold other identities particularly folks from the black indigenous and two s LGBTQ i A plus communities. I am a lifelong learner and on learner. I have experienced damaging recent As discrimination and the expect unexpected loss of a loved one. And there was a time not too long ago when I felt like I was drowning while working full time with two young kids and trying and failing to keep up with society's standards of a working mom and wife, I was grieving and completely disconnected with life. It was through my fight back to myself through daily practices of yoga, breathing and meditation and mindfulness that I began to heal and see clearly my birthright to live well and at ease. It was through all of that plus, prioritizing myself care and living a life focused on my wellness, that I came home to myself and my business stuff go on to self care was born in October 2019. I am an educator, a mental health and trauma informed yoga teacher, mindfulness and meditation coach. I are VEDA yoga specialist and wellness coach and a Zumba instructor. I'm also a lecturer at Rutgers University for the Department of Kinesiology and Health. As the owner of Steph Caliente self care, my mission is to disrupt the status quo of society's take on self care, mental health, overall wellbeing, and most importantly, who gets to feel well. This is a community where we acknowledge injustice of groups that have been marginalized and work towards an equitable place for all to take up space. I empower my clients to uplift their day to day life by prioritizing their self care to support their mental, emotional, physical and energetic health. I guide them in using daily rituals, yoga, meditation, and mindfulness tools to navigate everyday stress, heal from trauma and spark joy in their lives. My friends, it's your birthright to live well and at ease. It is your best method of serving those who rely on you, as well as showing up authentically in your work and in your community to do the hard work of dismantling injustice and creating more equity in the world. I know we've just come into contact with each other. And so that might be hard to believe, or maybe you believe it, and it seems hard to actually make come true. And I get that I'm hoping that you'll feel a little bit more ease as we continue on in our conversation.
People work with me in my group coaching program, the holistic self care collective, or in one on one coaching sessions for either VEDA wellness or mindfulness and meditation. I also facilitate workshops and retreats for groups, organizations, businesses and universities, and I offer a free community education workshop every month, my work centers on helping my clients create simple yet sustainable practices, to manage stress, feel better, and promote calm and happiness in their daily life. This I have to be honest, is especially important for business owners, particularly for those of you who run your business by yourself or within a small group. As you well know, running a business has many different moving parts, and managing it all can be all consuming if you let it. And it's easy for the lines between personal and professional to become blurred, and get to a point where there's no real boundary. And quite often in the midst of the busyness of running a business and maybe sleeping and showering plus taking care of the loved ones. For babies and plants that rely on you. Self care may fly out the window until you reach a breaking point. Does this sound familiar to any of you? Was it just me? dominant culture has us believing that self cares is bubble baths and Netflix binging right? It also has us believing that all it takes is willpower or brute force to live a healthy lifestyle. I honestly disagree. And most of us are spread too thin. So the energy to push through is in short supply. But the reality is we need to take care of ourselves just like your plants need water. So what do we do? How do we run our business in a smart, sustainable way while also taking freely freakin good care of ourselves so we can actually do our best work. serve our clients and customers have meaningful relationships, support our loved ones and be happy and fulfilled without burning out or running away screaming?
I don't claim to have all the answers. And I do think it's worthwhile to have an ongoing relationship with a good therapist and doctor. I also believe Mindful self care where you intentionally show up for yourself in simple ways is a big key factor in creating ease, balance, stability and peace in your life. So the first step is identifying your Y as in how do you want to feel day to day and throughout the day. That might be calm, grounded like a badass. And when it comes to this, what is your vow to yourself via actionable steps in making this happen? This is what yoga philosophy calls a sudden culpa. The reason establishing a sankalpa is so important is because your why acts as your North Star, it's your buy in, that is based on your deepest needs and wants, rather than society's standards, or any should you've been guilting yourself with. And it directs your attention, or I'm sorry, your actions in a mindful and loving way. So that when life gets hard, when you forget to show up for yourself, care, your why and your vow guide you back to yourself with a simple reminder of how you want to feel why, and remembering the actions that will help you achieve that, minus the guilt and the shoulds. And that's the key. Because we don't need any guilt and shoulds. We don't need any more of that. The next step is to create a daily rhythm with intentional self care rituals. The idea here is these mindful acts will act as anchor points throughout the day, to create balance, stability and peace in your life. Yes, amidst the busyness and all of the changes. Creating a rhythm helps your being anticipate when the next piece of self care will be, which is soothing, especially when you're facing a challenge in knowing that help or break is on the way, and it puts you at ease. The great thing about establishing a rhythm is that once it's in place and strong, a creates a foundation from which you can be flexible based on whatever's going on that day, without falling into the trap of your care completely going out the window. The foundational rhythm always calls you back and supports you when you return. There are eight areas I'd like to highlight. And I want to be honest or straightforward and say, Please, if you hear the word aid, and you're like, oh my gosh, there are eight things I need to be doing for myself. I can barely even do one. Please don't worry, acknowledge when that comes up, but simply just be with the information and see what takes. So the first is morning and evening evening rituals. Beginning the morning with some intentional quiet time connecting to yourself and filling your cup without devices is so important. This may look like breathing meditation, some yoga asana or a workout. It could also look like reading a book for leisure sitting quietly with a cup of tea or coffee, engaging in a hobby or getting outside for a walk. Don't forget to brush your teeth and tongue scrape if you're into it, and try to sit and eat breakfast without devices to enjoy your meal. The idea is to slowly ease into the day on your own terms before the rush in your home or at work begins and this feeling will fortify you during the day. In the evening, it's important to gradually slow down a few hours before you intend to go to bed. Please no I don't mean shutting yourself off from the world for a few hours before you go to bed. Unless that's what you need. But logging off from work and emails at least two to three hours early is a really good idea. eating dinner while present maybe preparing clothes and food for the next day slowing down the pace while you run errands. Or do things around the house. Exercise. Perhaps engage in a hobby or something that brings you joy, even for a short time. A phone call a long walk time with friends or family. And then right before bed rather than watching TV or Doom scrolling until you begin to doze. I mean, let's be honest, right? Put your device away about 30 minutes to an hour before and engage in a cell foot massage or yoga nidra meditation or reading for leisure. The idea is to allow the body mind and energy to release the stress of the day so that you can be at peace when you're ready to fall asleep. And also loving yourself
all the way there. Which brings me to regular sleep schedule, which is the second I area I'd like to highlight, getting to bed and waking up at the same time every day without snoozing and when I say the same time and in the same area. It's really important for your cognitive function, energy and the physiology of the body. Take note of the sun, right some flowers that bloom open and close at certain times of the day and also your Furbabies they know what's up. regular sleep schedule is really important. The third is well timed healthy meals. In case you're not familiar i or Veda is a spiritual science that uses nature to guide self care practices throughout the day. In order to decrease inflammation with the body within the body. improve digestion, that's a food drinks, experiences and emotions and also balance your energy so you're more at peace. A supportive schedule to shift towards in terms of eating is E Eating breakfast which would be a small to medium sized meal between seven and 8am. Eating lunch between 12 and 1pm. The largest meal of the day since this is your diet when your digestive fire is strongest, and dinner a medium to small meal between 530 and 7pm. That way you're fully digested between meals, and then allowing lunch to be the bigger meal and dinner to be smaller, allows you to be fully digested before you head to bed so that the body can focus while you're sleeping on digesting the day healing and regenerating new cells so that you can feel rested and ready to go in the morning. If you need to add your mealtimes to your calendar, so you don't forget add reminders set alarms to your phone, I had to do this sometimes to notice also that you have a window of an hour to work with in terms of your meal time. And these things can shift based on meetings or anything you have going on. The idea is to create consistency you can count on so that you avoid becoming hangry. or skipping meals, since Good Food is fuel for you to do good work. And if you have to adjust here and there you can and then just get yourself back on track. But allowing yourself that stability is going to be really important. The fourth one is inserting intentional break time throughout the day. Friends literally block time in your calendar for this. Stepping away from work. Ideally leaving the room or even the building is crucial for your mental and emotional well being. taking breaks gives your brain the chance to rest and also the chance to become more spacious, which results in more active ability more effective ability to problem solve, plan and create mental breaks. And physical rest beyond sleep is really important because it acts as a reset button. This might be in sitting quietly people watching or taking in a sight. It might be dancing to release some stress, it might be walking in nature or engaging in a hobby that is not too activating or strenuous. The fifth suggestion I have for you or area that I'd like to highlight within self care is movement and exercise. Your body is meant to move my dear. And so you can move it in many different ways. That might be your typical exercise modalities of strength training, cardio, yoga, Asana, Pilates barre, it might be swimming, something cycling. The key is to choose movement that feels good to your body. And I recognize that there are a lot of people out there that don't necessarily enjoy exercise. And so I want to reiterate that you shouldn't feel tortured while you exercise. And choosing something that feels good to you or at least is not torturous, is going to go a long way with you actually adhering to moving your body. And so the key is to start with things that feel pretty good, or at least don't feel terrible, right? In order to strengthen and, and add flexibility to your body. And moving throughout the day really does wonders for mental and emotional health. And it'll be crucial to your quality of work as well.
Another thing to consider, which is the sixth thing is creative and Hobby Time. These things typically get lost in adulthood and less your vocation is something that is creative. I have to be honest, it is a real necessity, because it helps keep brain pathways open helps you to create new neural pathways. It helps with emotional regulation, eliciting joy, which I mean don't we all need more joy, improves relationships and interpersonal skills and really so much more. The list of benefits of engaging in creative and Hobby Time are just so much creativity may come easy to you. But if it doesn't, I encourage you to take time to consider easy ways you can begin exploring what creativity means to what hobbies you might enjoy. That might be through color or painting by numbers or rearranging in your area of your home to be able to Sanctuary it might be cooking or banking. It could be none of these things and it could be something else or some other things. I encourage you to engage with this in an open mind. And really almost like with a childlike view of Wonder of what could be the possibilities. I have to share I started this journey recently of figuring out what are my hobbies at this stage of my life? What feels creative to me what feels expansive to me, and it's been a really interesting explore It's been hard in some ways, but really amazing and others. And so far, I've realized I really enjoy skywatching. I've always known I did, but I realized now it's something I really need and it just opens up this part of my being that nothing else does. This seventh area to consider is breathing and meditation. Hear me out if this seems a little woowoo for you, connecting to your breath can be very grounding and learning to breathe slowly and deeply regulates the nervous system, which then creates a feeling of space and time. Whenever you're feeling boxed in or like the light, the pace of life is too fast. When you realize you're pushing too hard in a moment, maybe you're feeling anxious or frustrated, turning to your breath, tuning in to your breath to calm down. Rather than spiraling lashing out or throwing in the towel can be a supportive way to give yourself a timeout. And practicing things this and meditation on a regular basis when you're not in a heightened state is important for continuing to calm the nervous system. slow down the pace of your thoughts. regulate your emotions so that you're more at ease in the day, and elicit peace on a more regular basis. And I have to tell you, this is really important to note. These sessions do not have to be long in duration. Honestly, 30 seconds to even a minute can be incredibly powerful in connecting to your breath or meditating. The last suggestion or area of focus I have for you to consider is creating boundaries, clear boundaries with yourself, your family and your friends and the people you serve within your business based on your truth and values. Remember, boundaries aren't bad. Boundaries are an essential piece of self care so that you can show up for yourself in an aligned way. honoring yourself and meeting your needs is the single most important thing you can do for yourself, your work the people in your inner circle and those who serve adding sessions to your calendar for meals, exercise breaks and rest, hard stops for work, starting and ending your day mindfully at ease. And an easeful pace, engaging in hobbies, having a regular sleep schedule are all important ways to nourish yourself so you can be fueled, present and at ease in all of your roles. And some of you may have to get really comfortable in saying no, or saying yes.
In case you're feeling a little overwhelmed by figuring out how to implement all these into your busy day, all of these options, all of these practices, don't worry, you're not meant to figure out how to implement all of them into your day. The key and getting started is identifying the practice that would be most most beneficial or the easiest one to start with for you. And if you could use further support, I've got you, I created the holistic self care collective, which offers a brave space for you to center care of your whole self in an interconnected, intuitive and sustainable way that supports your entire well being and your mental, emotional, physical and energetic health. The collective includes self care coaching, guidance on implementing the self care practices you need in a simple way. Live Stream weekly yoga and Zumba and meditation classes, specialty workshops and a library of recorded classes you can access at any time within a community of like minded, busy driven people who are committed to up leveling up leveling their well being on a daily basis. So they can do their best work in a meaningful and sustainable way. If this feels aligned and timely for you, I'd love for you to join me. I also offer a free community education workshop every month. And the one coming up in June happens to be all about the self care practices we discussed briefly today. And we'll talk about strategies for getting started easily so that you can support your entire health and well being for the long run. And I'll give you a hint the key is not again, I repeat, it is not trying to do all of these eight practices right away. You definitely don't want to miss this important conversation. So I hope you'll join me. In terms of my work with Brooke when I joined the Rule Breakers crew, I was struggling in gaining clarity in my business and establishing procedures that were sustainable. I knew I had really great offerings and the impact I wanted to have. But I felt like they were disconnected and it also felt as though I was constantly in promotion in launch mode. I was beginning to be overwhelmed by creating experiences social media posts and emails and didn't have enough energy or bandwidth to follow through with the caliber of work I wanted to deliver, especially in the event in the experience, I was getting burned out and desperate. And I felt like something was missing from my offerings. In terms of my biggest growth area and my business since working with broken the rules, but Rule Breakers crew, it's been getting clear on my vision, understanding my truth, learning to actually trust myself and putting this all into practice day in and day out, both personally and professionally, when it's terrible, comfortable, uncomfortable. So personally, and professionally, especially when it is uncomfortable. And just so you know, I don't like being uncomfortable. A big lesson has been how much rest and peace I need away from the doing of my business so that I can recharge, get clarity, create, instead of push, and also just be as a result of this learning. The practices I put in place and shifts I've made have been getting clear on my vision, I asked myself, What experience Am I trying to create? What is why is this important for my people? How do I want to feel in my business as I create and deliver this? It's also been an understanding my truth of this check in that I do, which is who am I? What are my divine rights? What are my values? What is my sankalpa? Remember, that's that vow, based on my deepest intention, my soul salient needs and the actions that align with this. It's also been in learning to actually trust myself, my check in here is, am I honoring myself, my gifts, my knowledge and my knowing in terms of the big lesson of how much rest and space I need away from the doing of my business, so I can recharge, get clarity and create rather than push. And also just be it's been that I have slowed way down. And that's by my standards slowed way down. Because I've always been Go, go go. And I feel more deeply aligned with my actions in my intention, when I slow it down. I've stopped pushing myself to do more for the sake of doing so that I would, quote unquote, feel successful, or quote, unquote, like I put in the work. And surprise, surprise, I've been doing better quality, aligned work, and I feel better and not so battered. I've gained confidence in myself in my offerings, I reckoned with some really
unhealthy practices and thoughts and feelings. I also can see the present moment more clearly, and the bigger picture more clearly. And really, despite whatever I can't see, I still feel settled, which is like so big for me. This growth and learning has allowed me to put all of this into practice day in and day out. Right, all of these shifts, I've talked about these lessons that I've learned. Creating space by rest, creating space by not pushing, has allowed me to actually do aligned work to acknowledge when I'm working against myself. And this is also within myself personally as well. Plus, getting clear on my vision, I just made a huge shift in my business. I pulled all of my group offerings into the holistic self care collective, and added a group self care self care coaching element. This has fixed quote unquote fixed that disconnect I was feeling between my offerings and it has brought such a unified I don't want to say complete experience for my people because I don't I don't mean to say that this collective is the be all end all for what people need, but it certainly is a a connect connected, intentional opportunity to serve people on all their levels of well being. It provides people with a brave space for them to prioritize their self care to get curious to make mistakes to learn what serves them, and I get to deliver deeper support that truly serves my clients for the long run under Standing my truth in terms of my values, who I am, what my divine rights are, my son, COPPA, I own all of it. And these truths have become my North Star. And most importantly, I recognize the lies I've subscribed to or told myself. I've also developed the ability to call myself on my BS, my bullshit when I see it. This is discernment. And it's huge in terms of learning to actually trust myself, ultimately, I asked myself along the way, am I doing this with ease? Or am I pushing? Am I truly honoring myself my gifts my knowledge am I knowing? And if the answer is no, I stop and I make a shift. Putting these things into practice day in and day out, reminding myself reflecting recentering refocusing has been huge. And in terms of the big lesson of how much rest and space I need, I do it more, I rest more, I create more space for an intentionality rather than being reactive. I've created better boundaries for myself with myself with my partner, my kids, my family, my friends, in my work, I've truly become my own keeper. In terms of rules on breaking in my business, I've prioritized myself care rest, doing with ease, feeling, honoring and being. As I said before, I call myself my BS very often, and I disrupt the status quo. And try to lean in to trusting myself so much that don't worry about what people will think as I work hard at not allowing capitalism and the patriarchy dictate how I run or show up in my business. So as our time together in this episode winds down I'd like to remind you that it is your divine right to thrive in your life and your business and the keys to doing this are prioritizing yourself care, getting clear on your son couple your why your truth, your vow and the aligned actions that will achieve it and letting that guide you. Checking yourself on your BS, right the lies you tell yourself, the old narratives you've subscribed to. And getting in line with that truth. Letting that guide you trust yourself on your knowing, and say eff it to anything in dominant culture that doesn't feel aligned for you and work your butt off to to dismantle it into your in your community and find like minded individuals to be with. And also having a business coach that is aligned with your values, who helps you see your potential and helps you call yourself on your BS is just as important as your therapist, your medical doctor, your Self Care Coach.
I want to also take a moment to share that what I love most about the Rule Breakers crew is that Brooke co creates a space with her clients in this space that is real raw, supportive and empowering. Brooke prioritizes self sorry, social justice and self care right to and there's zero gaslighting, there's zero spiritual bypassing. There is no toxic positivity in RBC. She constantly reminds us to be our own number one support while using our vision, truth, trust and practice as our personal guides rather than solely relying on her. And Brooke consistently pushes us to rest to listen to ourselves and step into our power while remaining true to ourselves as we create sustainable business practices that work. Well, he was awesome hanging out with you today. I hope you enjoyed the conversation. We'll stay connected. You can find me on Instagram at Steph Galante or my website, www dot Stef galante.com. That's Ste f f g a l l a n t e.com I hope to speak with you soon connect with you soon. Take good care and be well.
Transcend your dichotomy is a production of passion and process collaborative LLC. The podcast is produced by me Brooke Monaghan with post production and marketing support from Alex Henderson if you want to support me in the show the best way to do that is to subscribe leave a rating and a review and share with someone who you know needs to hear it to take the free circumventing should DIY workshop and start getting my newsletter where I dropped all of my best work go to Brooke dash monahan.com That's mo N EY Ghan love y'all. See you next week.
