and that is the like the deep dark fear of so many people that their spouse is secretly kind of ashamed of them or doesn't want to be with them. And and I know, that was my experience I've shared on the show before that, for those who listening summer show is that my last long term boyfriend, we've split up like, I don't know, six years ago, we were together for six years. And he confessed to me that he was less attracted to me because I had put on phenomenal amount of weight. And it was like my deepest, darkest fears were coming true. And at that moment, I vow to him that I would become good and get on a diet and become smaller again. I was always fat when we were dating so and I'd put on like hardly any weight. So like, fuck this guy. But now Now I'm out of it. And I'm like, wow, he was really struggling with anti fatness and his own self esteem. And, and when we split up, I said to him, What was that all about? And I was kind of like getting curious, asking questions. And basically what he said was that when we go to work functions, I want people to be jealous of me. I have this kind of trophy partner, you know, I want it. It's like, unreal, you know, not human version of a person in order to make me feel better about my self esteem. And I was just like, you know, thanks for that. Thanks. You know, I, you know, I understand your motivations. It's really