Episode 103 - Complete

Vinny Welsby46min

Speaker 100:00

You're listening to the fittest fatty podcast episode 103. It's a good fatty and round fat anyway, let's I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fifth party who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop a negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast let's begin Hello, and welcome, fatty Nice to see you. Do you hear my voice? Cracklin because I just did a an hour q&a, q&a, I feel like with the voice of talking the after like practice as in if you don't talk enough during the day then you lose the ability to talk for long periods. Do you notice that maybe if you're working from home and you're not used to talking to your colleagues all day long, that when you when you just do a short meeting you're like, why don't have my voice? My voice is not as strong as it used to be when I would be talking to humans all day long. I'm like now I'm like, how the heck do you talk to humans all day long and not lose your voice because after one hour that's that's my limit. Then I need to rest I've got myself like an hour rest between my work but my voice is still like right? So anyway, whatever you know I've got so many tabs open do you do this? You get something good go in and you don't want to close it out because if you close a tab you'll forget about it and you'll never go back to it. Well I've got I've got how many got 12345 614 tabs first tab whiteness at work by Deseret out away. Course I'm doing so good. Next hab the insane story of love has one cult and Amy Collison did you hear about this cult? You probably did. The Lovers one which was like the the cult leader died and they kept her body they modified it. And yes fucking creepy as hell. Anyway. I watched I watched I watched a Don't hate me I watched a Dr. Phil episode Dr. Phil is a piece of shit. Bad person, but I watched a pirated version on YouTube. Okay, I have an episode where he had this cult leader on now I'm watching another video about it. So Dr. Phil is trash by the way. The next tab is the $5,000 quest for the perfect but the next tab is the history of diet culture. The next tab is 11 reasons your concern for fat people's health isn't helping. Anyway, the next tab is Marin and WAN, fighting fat fear at UCLA lecture. The next tab is police power and control wheel the tactics of power and control and police per perpetrator domestic violence

Speaker 103:51

goes on goes on. Like there's too many like interesting things. And I don't want to ever X out of this tab because I need to like I don't know. I don't know. You know, the fear that it's not going to you're not going to go back to it or something. The whiteness work thing that's, that's okay. I will definitely go back to that. But I don't know why can't Why can't I just close it out until I'm ready to to watch the next video in the course. Because I normally do like watching videos on a Friday. I mean, educating myself if I can do it on a Friday, so why can't I forget? I'm going to exit. Okay. I'm going to try and exit some of these. Anyway, today's episode, how are you? How's life how you doing? You're right. I'm all right. You're right. All right, good. Good, good. Good. So we talk about good, Fatty, bad, fatty. Have you ever heard about this concept? Probably if you've listened to the face value podcast, but I wrote a hex along toe Instagram post about it. And I was like, oh, I need to talk about this on the podcast. asked, Do you know what I will write, if I've got a post that's got got words in it? I will do it, go away from it, go back and read it, because then I'm able to spot mistakes and then read it out loud. I read this motherfucking thing out loud twice. After reading it a few times. I was like, okay, no mistakes. I post it. And within a couple of hours, I'll look at it again. You know how you read your post being like, I'm so smart. I'm so funny. Just remind yourself what you said. And I read it. And I was like, oh, fucks like, there's a fucking typo. So that it means the opposite thing of what I was saying. In one of the slides. I'm like, Oh, why? How is this happening? It's so annoying to me. I find it so annoying, I think is living his Instagram penalizes you, if you edit the caption. It will, it will show you that you've posted a new post or something anyway, whatever. And so and then, if it's already got lots of comments and likes, you don't want to delete it to repost. One with one word changed. Because then Instagrams, like, motherfucker, why are you deleting shit? And then you don't want to lose all the all the juicy comments, right? People having a conversation, then you're like, oh, I need to delete it because I got a word wrong. But then my part of my brain is like, Oh, this one wrong. So anyway, I left a comment saying, Oh, that word should say this and all that. And why life is so hard. I'm being facetious by the way. Life is it? Yeah. Anyway, whatever, whatever, whatever life is not hard, because I got to use the incorrect word when time is hard for other reasons. So I want to just give you a few definitions. Before we get into this, what we're talking about is a good fatty, bad fatty archetype. The dichotomy, the tropes, I want to give you the quick definition of those three words, in case you're not very familiar with them. So archetype means a very typical example, of a certain person, or thing. trope is kind of similar. There's two definitions to trope, the one that we're concerned with is a common or overused theme, or device, a cliche. So a cliche would be women are emotional, even though it's men that's emotional, remote routine, right? Women who do emotional or family will just eat donuts and sit at home and cry into their doughnuts because they're sad and fat. And the next word is dichotomy. A dichotomy is a division or contrast between two things that are or are wrapped in represented as being opposed or entirely different. So let me read that, again, a diverse a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different. So the contrast between either know, night and day, you know, but it wouldn't be used as that it'd be used as what we're talking about today. Between, you know, good and bad, evil and evil and what's the opposite of evil, saintly, godly. You know, I wonder how many times people are like shouting at the device that they're listening to being like, that's the word you're trying to think of Victoria, because sometimes I can't think of the word that I'm trying to say. Well, I was listening to this podcast the other day about

Speaker 108:53

it's called duped. It's really good. If you're in the online business world. Go and listen to it. It's by from Maggie Patterson and her co host, Dr. Michelle. I remember her last night last name anyway. They talk about the scams that are in on the online business world and all of the unethical things that go on. And Michelle, Dr. Michelle had lived in the UK for a while and was talking about a UK paper that has the tits. So there's that I think they've stopped it now. But there's a UK a couple of them paper that on page three would have naked women. So they'd have the breasts not not evolvers just breasts. Only the breasts. Just fucking can you make the creepiest shit. What? It in a newspaper. So Dr. Michelle was saying, oh, yeah, the newspaper. It's called the daily I think it's called the Daily Mail is what she said. Now. It's like, it's the sun. It's the sun. She's like, Yeah, yeah, I think it's the Daily Mail and it's the sun. And it's just like a little thing I didn't want to like Send them an email being like, Um, excuse me on an episode of this at this thing you said it was a Daily Mail, but actually the sun the star, it's not the Daily Mail even though melons super trashy, but they don't have it. You know, I wonder how many people are do that with my podcast being like, Excuse me, but they don't want to send in a correction, you can send in corrections. That's cool. That's CO by say, oh, yeah, you know, the American thing, you know, whatever a Canadian thing and I don't know what I'm talking about, or anything else where I don't know what I'm talking about. Feel free to feel free to correct me. That's okay. Okay, so let's talk about this I'm going to read out my actually turned it into a blog post because it was a it was a lot of it was not that much textbook, you know, enough text that you know, in on Instagram you put in, there's an option to put in alt text, alt text, this is a text that will appear with the image for people who who are visually impaired or blind. So they can tap on it, and then there'll be text to say what the thing is. Anyway, so it was it was too much to put in alt text, so I just made it into a blog post. Anyway, so it's called the good family versus bad family false dichotomy. So what is that this is so this is from me quoting my phone. This is a harmful stereotyping of fat people as good or bad depending on a number of factors. Often, good fat people have increased privilege in society, as they are seen as more palatable. Bad fatties being the opposite. When someone doesn't fit into the good fatty archetypes, then that is given as a reason why they deserve abuse, lack of health care, bigotry, etc. Often, good fatty bad fatty behaviors are unintentional, or include and privileges. It doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong or right if you engage in one thing or another. Understanding how we perceive fat bodies can help us unlearn fatphobia and examine our biases. So what is the quote unquote, good fatty stereotype and all of these like good, Fatty, bad, Fatty, they're all in quotation marks because you know that there's a stereotype so just the just tropes the you know. So, a good fatty is more acceptable to society, and oftentimes is a safer role to inhabit as a fat person, frequently pitied, encouraged and in and celebrated for the weight they've lost, or their journey they're on to lose weight. Good fatties are seen as more productive members of society and excellent tools for capitalism, seen as morally superior to bad fat people can be looked down upon by others for still investing in diet, culture and fatphobia. So the things that they might engage in is diets is actively trying to lose weight. Eat quote, unquote healthy food in public or eat small amounts of food. Works out can be an athlete's and able bodied, is fashion forward and adheres to gender norms. The first to make jokes about their body size Z, funny fat friend, is outwardly fat phobic and dislikes fat bodies, especially their own says, I'm fat but I'm healthy. Has a quote reason for being fat that is seemingly, quote, not their fault. hourglass shaped Okay, so moving on to the bad fatty stereotype. A bad fatty is way less acceptable to society and is often an unsafe role to inhabit as a fat person

Speaker 113:55

met with anger, disgust, disdain and ridiculed by many bad fatties are seen as less productive members of society and therefore less valuable, judged as morally inferior, celebrated by others for being quote unquote, brave. Things that bad fatties do, eats food perceived as unhealthy, potentially in public and on social media wears clothes that have been deemed unflattering and show their body likes being fat and celebrate size diversity is not trying to lose weight doesn't discuss an acceptable reason, quote, for being fat, disabled, unhealthy, not adhering to gender norms of femininity or masculinity in appearance doesn't talk about their health status as a reason why they have more or less value, not an hourglass shape. It's absolutely okay to be or to do or be any of the items on the list intentionally or unintentionally. Neither make you better or worse. The good fatty bad fatty diet tatami is made up of stereotypes. No one fat person's experience is the same. Where it becomes problem problematic is when we use the, quote, good fatty trope as a reason to discriminate against people who don't adhere to it. In understanding the good, Fatty, bad fatty dichotomy, we also need to examine the factors that other systems of oppression play racism, transphobia, ageism, ableism, health ism and sexism, to name a few. The reality is that all fat people deserve basic human respect, equal access and acceptance no matter what. Okay, so. So that's the, that's the thing of a jig that I wrote. And I'm going to link to everything show notes, face value.com, forward slash, one, zero, or Ruby, or forward slash podcast if you can't remember the number. So if you're struggling to get to a place of, of loving your body, it may be because you're scared, rightfully so, of being seen as a quote unquote, bad, fatty or letting go of your good fatty identity, it's so much easier, isn't it? Isn't it so much easier to try and make yourself as palatable to society? Whatever that looks like, oh, perhaps is not intentional, right? Because you could just be a healthy fat fat person. And that's just who you are, right? You just happen to be a healthy fat person. And so that's like an unearned privilege. Or you could value health and so engage in health promoting activities, while also understanding that health is mostly not in our control. And so you just happen to fall into that category of good fatty and that's an easier place to exist. Versus if you were a fat person you said you know what, I'm just not interested in learning in dressing in a certain way like dressing to be appear as feminine or, or masculine in the right way or I'm just not interested in running a half marathon on a Sunday. I'm just not interested in only eating salad. I'm just interested in living my life would you seen as bad because it's, it's almost like society wants people to be apologetic. Right? Let, if you're fat, you better fucking apologize for it. With your with the way that you behave, you better be sorry, you better be sorry. And to show us that you're sorry for your failing, you better be on a diet you better you better be making jokes about how attractive you are. So that we we feel comfortable in your presence, that we know that you know your place is all about power, right? Because a fat person in society has less power than a straight sized person. And how dare fat person not be in their place? How dare a fat person not live with shame. And so it's great if we can just live our lives. But also it's very difficult because you're you're kind of shining a light on yourself. It's less safe.

Speaker 118:58

A lot of people though, decide that they are not going to act in a certain way. For the comfort of others. This is a quote I say all the time. What's more important other people's comfort or your own mental well being. And so some people they say other people's comfort, because that's also tied up with my mental well being because if people are judging me, I don't feel good, but some people will will kind of reframe it and you know, have the privilege to be able to do things which people see as bad fatty behavior. The reality is everyone's different, right? Most fat people don't fall neatly into good fatty or bad fatty like you know, like some even someone like me who would be kind of, you know, people would think as as a bad fatty I would fall into a lot of the kind of good fatty stereotypes, you know, just because of, you know, genetic look, for example. So I would say I'm, I'm not exactly our gas, but I'm not, I would say I'm kind of getting close to being having an hourglass figure. And so that would be seen as as being a good, Fatty, I enjoy fashion. And so that would also be being seen as a good fatty. I I guess that I'm healthy in regards to like, I say that, but but it's just, you know, health, like what is health? We've talked about it on the podcast. What is health is like health is a social construct. And I guess the the the health in regards to the the stereotypical types of things that people will will abuse fat people with saying you're going to get type two diabetes, you're going to get heart disease, you're going to get lalala. So I would then fall into the good fatty stereotype. So you know, so it doesn't mean just to reiterate, reiterate, it doesn't mean that you're good or bad. This is how society is viewing fat people. And it's problematic, it's not helpful. It's, it's harmful to view fat people like this is good or bad, depending on their behavior, right. And to recognize that sometimes, we engage in these things, in good fatty type behaviors, to be safe, because it's so fucking hard to live in the world that hates bad paper. Her Oh my gosh. So I love this piece from Stacey bias. Which is so good, the 12 good fatty archetypes. It's a comic blog post. And it's available as a zine. Stacey bias dotnet and so this is This is Stacy did this in 2014 Oh my gosh. 2014 like it was just yesterday, and now it's how many years ago like whatever 75 years ago. So the good fatty examined is, is how it starts so the post is 12 good fatty archetypes by Stacy by us. And I'm going to read some of this out it's a it's a like comic. So in I just fucking love I studied illustration. So anything visual like this, I'm just like, oh, oh, this is fucking love it. Okay, so the good fatty examined. Stacy says there has been a lot of talk lately on fat acceptance blogs about what it means to be a quote, good, fatty. It seems to me that there are a lot of different kinds of good fatties, and each one serves its own kind of purpose. So what does it mean to be a good fatty, this part gets wordy, but stick with me. The general consensus is a good fatty is a fatty who is trying, or at least believes they should be trying to no longer be a fatty. That's a reasonable definition of one kind of good, fatty. But before we can understand what it means to be a good fatty, we first have to figure out what a bad fatty is and how they came to be seen as bad in the first place. Like most bad ideas, it starts with money and morality. So capitalism requires productivity. Therefore, a productive body is seen to be one that produces and reproduces, fit, able and, quote, desirable.

Speaker 123:53

So any given society is basically just a collection of people who agree with each other about certain things. Those beliefs are standardized, but constantly shifting, and those who conform to them are included, and those who don't, are not. The basis for these beliefs is called morality. And there is a moral order to any society. In western societies, because we're mainly capitalist and intent on increasing wealth. Morality is most concerned with maintaining productivity. For that reason, there is a mandate for self sacrifice and for caring for our bodies in a way that maintains their productive and reproductive protect potential. So basically, we are meant to be strong, able bodied, heterosexual and sexually desirable. Folks who don't conform to any or all of the above have stigmatized identities, and are even denied rights. Stacy continues segregation and ask variation. You can imagine society as a large circle or several smaller circles inside of it, at the core are the most privileged with the most power, who benefit the most from maintaining societal inequalities. The further away you get from the call, the less power and privilege you have. So when I talk a talk later about arguing for social legitimacy, what I am referring to is a fight to be seen as included in one of the many spheres of acceptability in any given society. For the most part, each good fatty archetype that exists is basically an argument for justification for inclusion in societies Suffit spheres of privilege. If good fatties exist, they're not all fatties are bad. And therefore, we can't ethically ethically be excluded from society. The problem is, whenever you define something as good, you're automatically defining it in opposition to something else. So the good fatty creates the bad fatty, who then gets thrown under the bus. This blog is basically taking a look at the 12 good fatty archetypes and asking some questions about how we might use them more critically. So a caveat that Stacy says that this is an intentional oversimplification is also intentionally using stereotype in order to create archetypes. So I'm just going to quickly read the the 12 archetypes. Isn't that so funny? And interesting, isn't it? So I'm just, I have, I am just so into learning about more about capitalism right now and anti work. There's a Twitter thread, what is it called? Something like no work or don't work or something like that, where people are standing up to their bosses and quitting their jobs. And they're sharing post, it's so satisfying. You know, like, they'll get a text from a boss, they're gonna text from a boss at three in the morning being like, Excuse me, you were coming in tomorrow at 5am. And the person is like, Oh, I'm sorry, I can't I'm I know, I'm getting heart surgery tomorrow. And then boss will be like, No, I don't think so you better come in or there'll be trouble. And then the and then the person says, I really can't, but maybe I can come in in the afternoon. And the boss says you better and then the person says, You know what, go fuck yourself. I quit. And it's so satisfying. Obviously, this is so fucked up that people are having to do this. And a lot of times, it's people who are in low paid jobs who don't have that financial security, but then they're getting to a point where they're so deeply mistreated, and the system of capitalism is so harmful to them that they're having to risk not being able to pay their bills and everything that comes with that. But that saying all that it's still like, so exciting and just dismantling capitalism, capitalism is so cool. Anyway, so the archetypes is the fat unicorn. So the fact unicorn is they they're fat, but they engage in some of the typical behaviors assigned to fat people. So they maybe they eat healthily they daily exercise they have perfect lab reports. So that is the fat unicorn. So the kind of like how is it possible that they are healthy?

Speaker 128:48

Oh my God, they are a unicorn Okay. Next one is the fat elite, the fat athlete otherwise known as the exceptional fatty. So this is the you know, the person who is strong or who is a dancer or here is you know, does marathons. So that's the second one. The next one is the work in progress. And status says this is the fatty in the process of becoming not a fatty. So someone who is doing the diets during the day is doing the stomach squeezing the stomach amputation whatever it is. Next one is the real woman. So this is the heroine of the dove beauty campaigns. See she is oppositional to the stick thin fashion model often described as supple or voluptuous, and may or may even have a cheeky fat roll of or to maligned by the fashion industry that considers her quote unquote fat she is proposed as merely normal. So that would be kind of remember I did a podcast episode about midsize me exercising so this will be like fat people who who are basically not fat Okay, so the fat Liberty also known as the ambassador's of fatness Gamma Ray said of a Jack Black Adele Robert Wilson. Okay. Yeah. Sadly advise Adel rebels and we have to scratch those that those out. Beth Ditto. These are the ambassadors of fat nose who, whose extraordinary artistry or performance skills create them as an exception to the general rules of social exclusion. So they're included because they've got talent, they give us something right. They serve a purpose. They entertain us they make us laugh. Next one is the mama hen. The Maternal fat body so the stereotype of maternal mutter now litty maternity, that's a that's a funny word, isn't it? materna litty maternity almost one is a maternity but it's not maternity anyway, the stereotype for maternity places women's fat bodies outside or pass the process of reproduction or outside of the male gaze, non sexualized and non threatening threatening Yeah, so the mama hen is I'm too old to reproduce therefore I don't have that that burden to be seen as sexually attractive because I can no longer reproduce so I can't contribute to that capitalist expectation and so I'm just a non threatening and I'll give you a nice hug and make you food you know the next one is the big man so the powerful man metaphorically and physically so this is the predictor the bear the beast the strong man that the cloud and sometimes is the unlikely hero so think about Paul Blart remember that actor the Mall Cop or whatever? And sometimes sweet and vulnerable good guy. Consider Homer Simpson. Yeah. Also they say the big man is often associated with class. Okay, so the no fault fatty or the hapless fatty so this is someone who has a they are fatties for a reason beyond their control, irreversible fatness rigid and other conditions example PCOS or necessary treatment for other ailments like steroids or antidepressants. So it's not their fault, but their fats, all of those in big quotations, right. Stacy says I know I'm sorry. This one is morbid. So the next one is the dead, early fatty. And so Stacy says but we're talking about all kinds of good fats and we're discussing what purposes they serve. And in service of the medical and pharmaceutical industry. To put it bluntly, there's no better fatty than a dead one. Each fat individual whose death conforms to the to the quote unquote, obesity Doom prophecies can then be enveloped into another set of statistical warnings, offering more opportunities to justify social and financial exclusions to fund research and product development and to create oppressive legislation.

Speaker 133:38

Next thing natural fatty, she's on the right track, baby she was born this way the natural fatty is fat juice due solely to genetics. This fatty is basically the same as a fat unicorn but it's talked about a bit differently within activism. fatness in this case constitutes a natural kind one of a myriad possible possible, inevitable human forms existing along a spectrum of natural human diversity backed by medical studies. So someone who's just like oh, they just naturally fat you know. Next one is a fashionista, the fashionable fatty so those within a specific size range and body shape with financial resources, sewing skills and on trend and on trend clothing available in their size. Okay, the RAD fatty aka the face fatty Oh, yes, the first fatty the feisty fatty the upper T fatty the RAD fatty is the ultimate rejecter of stigma, appropriating stigmatizing terms and turning them on their head refusing refusing conformance on every level. So I'm going to read over this because this is really interesting. So refusing conformance on every level and often engaging in performance. of displays of behaviors that are discouraged in or considered stereotypical of fat people. But with intentional intention, and a tone of rebellion, the RAD fatty has a strong fat politic has largely been involved in activism. Some have attended higher education institutions and have an academic understanding of sizes and while others have undergone a process of self and or community education to gain their knowledge and insight, the red and the red fatty means radical, as well as just rad eg Awesome, cool fears, etc. and speaks to a commitment to undoing oppression, not only in their own lives, but in the society. There is a high value placed on political knowledge, appropriate language, and that fierceness that comes along with an act of rejection of stigma, and having learned to love and appreciate the self. Okay, so for each one of these is like questions to ask to kind of we can go in, in, in deeper, and conclusion here that statement makes is the good fatty is a complex subject and each seeks legitimacy in his own way and from its own target audience, the audience, but where we create one, rare we create one inclusion we often create or reinforce other exclusions, it's important to be aware of where and how we seek social capital, and who we leave behind when we do. That said, I'll take a moment to reinforce what I said at the beginning there is nothing wrong with falling with into or even many of these set of these archetypes. Sometimes I use fashion to make myself feel safer. As I walk through the world. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and fall back into old dieting behaviors. Sometimes I strive to embody that fierceness I admire so much in other rad fatties, again, where the good fatty becomes problematic is when when it's used as a justification for social legitimacy. When it says I deserve to be seen as valuable because insert good fatty qualify here. We all deserve to be seen as valuable where wherever we're at, in our individual journeys with our bodies, our self esteem, or our politics, leave no fatty behind. Yeah, so one of the points that I made in the, the good fatty is, can be looked down upon by others for still investing in diet, culture and fatphobia. So that's one thing that we want to try and avoid, especially like with that last one, that kind of the RAD fatty is a lot of people listening to the podcast. If you've listened to more than I know, 20 episodes, you're probably pretty well versed in a lot of fat topics, and are probably not dieting or unlearning dieting and learning fatphobia and to look at other people who are not there yet, and think this that stupid, how can they believe that I can't believe that they're perpetuating harm, and yes, they're perpetuating harm. And they were us just recently, and they deserve love and acceptance and equal access and everything, everything right, leave no fattie behind. And so you know, it's like, it's like that episode I did a little while ago about also face Rebel Wilson and being mad about right at Rebel Wilson, which isn't totally legitimate.

Speaker 138:34

And being frustrated that rebel has been caught up in being a good fatty really, that's what it is, is, is Rebel is is is trying to be seen as a good fatty. Now, where it becomes problematic is exactly what Stacy bias is saying is that when you're pitting one against the other, and so the thing with Rebel Wilson, which gets on people's tits is if Rebel Wilson wants to be a good fatty Go ahead. And I think a lot of people are frustrated that the throwing under the bus thing, Rebel Wilson using that social legitimacy, legitimacy, saying you can do it too. It's not too late for you to become healthy. Throwing the quote bad fatties under the bus and as well we know we don't want to do the opposite. We don't want to be throwing quote unquote good fatties under the bus either but again recognizing the good fatties quote unquote so very low stereotype so you know, he's everything is a good fatty. A good fatties are the ones who are positioning themselves as closer to power Which again, is about safety and, and surviving in society. And so yeah, we have to consider all sides of it. So yeah, it's a really nuanced karma. So sure, lots of different sides. But again, please don't feel bad if you engage in any, any behaviors. But if you do want to, if you do realize that you might be engaging in behaviors that aren't helpful, for example, saying, I see a lot of people say, I'm fat, but I'm healthy. Oh, you know, Dave over there, he's fat, but you know, he works out. And so it's saying, Oh, but you're one of the acceptable ones. You don't have to say that to be legitimate, you know, you don't have to it doesn't matter if someone is fat and unhealthy doesn't matter if someone has a reason for being fat, it doesn't matter. You know, all of the things that we're talking about that that is not a condition for for love and respect and an all of those things it shouldn't be often is. But then if you are buying into that by repeating these unhelpful archetype stereotypes tropes, we want to avoid doing that, right? We want to, we want to avoid saying, Oh, it's okay because I'm healthy or it's okay because they're healthy. But it's okay because they're trying to lose weight. But it's okay because but but but that's where it's where it can get problematic. I want to share with you a post from Everyday Feminism written by Murray so that a spinner and the post is nine ways to defy the good fatty trope. So if you do want to do some defying if you do want to do you know some fucking up the fucking up the norms and the rules and all that type of stuff, then here are nine ways I'm just going to read out the headlines. And if you want to continue reading you can wear something one way or something that magazines once told you was reserved for others to Don't feel pressured to turn yourself into an hourglass three. Ask yourself why you want to post that workout selfie? Or kale salad snap for don't edit your cellulite stretch marks or double chin out of your photos. Five, in fact, share full figured snaps on social media. Yes, including dating profiles. Six reiterate that you can be fat and beautiful at the same time. Seven, point out and be critical of fat shaming in real life or in media. Eight remind yourself that you don't need excuses. Nine be loud. Love it. A lava lava. Oh, wow. I think that number eight, one, remind yourself that you don't need excuses. And remind yourself that if you do feel like you need to give people excuses, then it makes sense. It makes sense. If that's a way to keep yourself safe, then that's a way to keep yourself safe. Right?

Speaker 143:36

But there are some some some ideas for if you do want to defy the good fatty trope. So no matter how or what way you're choosing to try and survive in this fat phobic world is fine is a Okay, know that you don't have to do certain things if you don't want to do if you don't want to like if you you know. But engaging in certain behaviors to be seen as a good favor actually. You hate it or opposite. Engaging in certain behaviors to be a bad fatty but you're not into it. You have to do anything right. Do

Unknown44:16

you do what feels good to you? Yeah, so what do you think? What do you like? Why

Speaker 144:23

do you want to thank you questions? Wish you could tell me what Yes. I wish you could tell me what your questions was. So I could answer them for you. What are your questions? I guess you can just send in a home Hello. If you do have questions about this or about anything, then there is a if you go to the show notes. There's a link for you to submit a question. And I could also on on the podcast for you. Yeah, so So do that. Alright, I hope this this this was helpful. And thank you for hanging out with me to ger Oh, oh my voice survived and stay face fatty and I will see you in a while alligator girl

Speaker 145:22

thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fattier Academy which is my signature program where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body, then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens

00:0000:00