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Tiffany Rampey, She Who Rebuilds Joy in the Wake of Grief: Otter Voice Meeting Notes

Tiffany Rampey, She Who Rebuilds Joy in the Wake of Grief

Julie Confer37min

Candice McCoy

00:01

Hey, I'm Candace. And this as she who wanders a podcast from the great wonderla is something I'm incredibly passionate about, which you've probably already know if you've been around here long is hearing other people's stories. I just love finding out where they've been, what they've gone through and what they've learned along the way. I feel like we all have so much to learn from each other, which is one of the reasons why I started this podcast and the she who wonders series. Today's guest has become not only a huge inspiration to meet, but a friend as well. Tiffany is a solo mom of 215 year teacher, seeker of joy and lover of all things adventure, and of course travel. In May of 2020, her husband of 14 years died suddenly completely changing the course of her and her children's lives. Finding it hard to believe that she would ever find joy or happiness again, she started traveling both with her kids and alone as a way to heal and recharge her soul. Tiffany is such a strong woman not only for herself and her family, but also in sharing her story through her account rebuilding joy, as a way to help others navigate through grief. I enjoy and live every single moment to the fullest. She inspires me every day to not wait on my dreams, but to follow my heart and take risks. I'm so excited to introduce her and share her story with you today. Tiffany, welcome to she who wonders.

Unknown Speaker

01:30

Hi, what a humbling intro. Thank you.

Candice McCoy

01:34

It was easy to write honestly, because I truly do feel like you bring so much joy. So that was a little bit of an intro. But I would love to just have you share a little bit about your story, your journey, kind of what has brought you to where you are today.

Speaker 1

01:48

Yeah, sure. So I've been a teacher for 15 years in the field for about 20. And that was a huge part of my identity. As well as being a wife and a mother and just really living a tight knit family. We were really happy. We had a great marriage sort of one of those that like other people looked at and envied. And it was joyful. It really was. And I sort of lived in that space, I'm really fortunate to have not experienced a lot of grief or super hard things in my life up until this point. So I was well acquainted with happiness and joy, and totally out of nowhere in May of 2020. My husband died of acute pancreatitis. So it was all said and done about a 24 hour process bringing him to the hospital. And it happened on Mother's Day. And it happened in the middle of the night. So I'd have sort of wait for the kids to wake up and tell them the news. And it was, you know, it was tragic, devastating up ending. And a total slap in the face. I don't know where the two years after he died, we're just such a fog of I mean, your life has been obliterated. And you're really trying to figure out who am I who what is my life going to be? And am I ever going to be happy again, you know, is is that just over? Am I going is there going to be a low level sadness forever

Candice McCoy

03:20

unsure, having never experienced anything like that, you have no idea how to navigate it. It's like you're living it. And I feel like you said this one time recently that you're building the ship as you're sailing it or whatever it is, like you're just figuring it out day by day with no manual.

Speaker 1

03:39

And that's the other thing when this happens to you in your 30s It's not like your friends have gotten through this or really anybody you know, maybe you know, a couple people, but usually they're older. And for a long time, I couldn't do social media, because I couldn't see people's happy families. It was too painful. Yeah. But then really, once I got on social media, I found, oh, there's 1000s of other young widows like me, who are raising children and really connected with a lot of them, and then started to also see, you know, that I could travel and I could do other things. And so slowly but surely, I just started sort of saying yes to a lot of things, and figuring out how to find a little happiness.

Candice McCoy

04:23

I mean, definitely, social media has its downsides. But being able to find people outside your physical circle, because obviously being in one place, it's hard to find those little pockets of people that have actually been through or understand what you have been through. And so being able to use it as a tool for that I'm sure was such a gift to be able to connect. Yeah, I

Speaker 1

04:48

think it saved me really. I mean, along with the amazing community of people I have around me.

Candice McCoy

04:54

I know you talk about that a lot your family and just how they've been able to support you and Stand in a small way.

Speaker 1

05:02

I mean, everybody really rallied around us. You know, I think some people, sometimes people can get like, oh, after the year mark, the support stops. But that wasn't true for us, people still are offering to drive my kids places and take them for sleepovers. And people are really generous and kind.

Candice McCoy

05:21

What an incredible thing to be able to see that side of people come out in a way that you wouldn't have otherwise, you know, and being able to experience that care and love from people in that way. I'm sure it was such a gift. I feel like you've gained so much wisdom and experience in navigating this and you have so much to offer other people who are in the beginning stages, or whatever kind of grief somebody may be experiencing, or whatever kind of pain, intense pain in their life, or I know this is a common thing is for people to feel like they can't be both. And I'm sure you experienced that i You're in this intense pain or you're in this grief and this hard time that you can also feel joy, you can also be happy in any way. What would you say to somebody who's experiencing that stage of things now that you're a little further down the line and view have discovered that you can find those things for a

Speaker 1

06:17

long time, it was really just pretty dark. But then every once in a while there would be this glimmer of, of joy or spark it remember really distinctly I went skiing with my brother and sister in law and Colorado, and we were sitting and just having a drink at the bottom of the mountain and it was a sunny day and no kids and I just remember feeling like, oh my gosh, I feel like myself again, you know, and they said to a friend, I felt so bad feeling happy. You know, it's just like, this guilt, I suppose she just said, like your griefs not gonna go away. It's, it's there to stay. So just allow yourself to feel happy, because so much of your life is really hard right now and just enjoy the good parts. And I just remember thinking, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Because why not? You know, I'm just gonna allow myself to feel happy when I'm happy. And that feels like a simple concept. You know, like, Oh, of course, allow yourself to be happy. But it's so complicated in such deep grief. Some days, it's, you know, you might be crying and then laughing and then cry, you know, it's really they do intermingle. I wouldn't say you feel them simultaneously, necessarily, but like more like a weaving in and out of the two. And now the time has gone on to I feel like joyful times. It's like a stronger thread in my life. And the grief times come in more intermittently. Whereas before, it was really the opposite. I was actually

Candice McCoy

07:50

talking to John about the right word to use there. I was thinking in terms of coexisting, but I actually makes a lot more sense the way you said it, where it's like, they're not coexisting at the same time. But you can go from one to the other. Yeah, I

Speaker 1

08:05

think that's how it feels today is a perfect example, actually, because my dog is really not doing well. And I think we're gonna have to put her down, like in the next week or so. And in comparison to losing your spouse, it feels like nothing. But she was also like, the first thing we did together is, you know, it's like losing another piece of him. And so this morning, I was crying in the car on the way to where I was going, and, but then I had like, a really big career day today. And, and this is exciting. It's like, in this one day, I'm gonna feel such deep grief and such elation. It's not like in any single moment, I'm feeling both, but they just weave in and out so

Candice McCoy

08:49

frequently, it's so good to get that message out there. Even for people who aren't going through something as tragic as what you've been through. I think it is human nature, for some reason, mentally, to not feel like you can accept and go from one place to another, I think many of us didn't learn or understand anything like that going up, or even in our early adult years. And so you obviously had to learn that on your own journey in real time. And by being able to put that out there and share that and you can have both of those things is really powerful.

Speaker 1

09:26

I think we really like to compartmentalize things a lot too, you know, like, I'm a sad widow, or like, I'm a happy traveler, you know, and yes, yes, totally. Sometimes I still struggle with that, like, how are my in laws gonna feel if I'm out and traveling and joyful, and just, it's also complex, but that's what I want to do is I just want to show that like, yeah, it's complex. And we're all these things.

Candice McCoy

09:53

Do you saying that actually kind of relates to the next question that I had for you because one thing you And that really stood out to me when we were talking before is, you don't carry a lot of worry or guilt and I literally had this like flag go up. I was like, I gotta talk to her about that. Because I feel like that is something that moms, especially probably people in general, but I know as a mom, for me, and a lot of times it is associated and very related to my kids, not even the mom guilt of like, oh, I can't take care of myself, although I know some people do struggle with that as well. But just like the worry, and the feeling of like, you know, we were talking about identity, I can't grow this business and be him podcast or be a yoga business, and also be a homeschool mom or be even a good just a good mom, you know? Yeah. And so I love that you talked about that. And I feel like you are really a great example of taking care of yourself. Not feeling bad for that. Being a person just Tiffany and not feeling like it has to always be in mom mode. I would love for you just to share with us a little bit about that. How does worry present itself in your life? Or how do you mentally and emotionally handle that where it doesn't bring you down? Or paralyze you even, you know,

Speaker 1

11:11

I know it really can be paralyzing for people. I have two older brothers and my oldest brother is like a just a yes to everything kind of guy. He's, he really gave me that, like, just go for it. And yeah, it really is. It's like a great quality to have as a human. And I've also seen how fear and worrying concern can just stop people from doing amazing things. And so for whatever reason, I've just been able to say like, I can actually see from example. And in my own life, that worry actually gets you nowhere. And it just puts up a wall. So I've really just kind of tried to cast that aside, I do carry some mom guilt. It's not like I'm, you know, totally free from that. Generally, it's about my kids having too much screen time while I am working or doing other things. But when it comes to self care, I just don't. I mean, here's the thing, right after Mike died, everybody in my life was like, You should go back to work. And I was like, okay, you know, nobody knew to tell me, you should take time off. And so I went back into being a classroom teacher, I was teaching kindergarten, in a pandemic, exclusively outdoors, with my son in my class, like,

Candice McCoy

12:29

How soon did you go back,

Speaker 1

12:31

he died in May. And we were back in August, it was so crazy overwhelming. And I was the worst parent I had ever been. I mean, there was all that plus the intense grief and their grief. And I just could see myself crumbling. And I was like, it's because I have zero time for myself to do anything. And so I went to the principal of the school and I said, I'm taking Friday's off from now on, and like Sorry, you know, like, you can have me or not, but this is Wednesday, you're

Candice McCoy

13:05

probably like, trust me, I will be much better when I'm here. Well, that's the

Speaker 1

13:09

thing is like, I've found those six hours on Friday saved me, it was like, Okay, I could recharge a little bit. So then I just really learned from that, that, Oh, I can show up for my kids when I make time for myself. So I have really made that a priority. And I don't feel bad traveling without them. Because when I'm traveling without them, they're with their people. They're like having sleepovers with their friends or spending time with my in laws. And they're getting fat in other ways too. And it's good for us to have time away from each other. And then to come back together and be excited to be together again and tell each other stories. And you know, longing is good too.

Candice McCoy

13:49

That is such a good point. And they're able to get those, those positive influences in their life and love from those people more because they're able to have that quality time. And I feel like a lot of times, we as moms can have this internal feeling that we are being a good mom when we're with them, and when we're doing things for them. But if we look at us as we are the greatest examples for our children, and so if they're watching us run ourselves into the ground, not have time for ourselves, not take care of ourselves that plays into being a good mom or not being a good mom too. Because what kind of example Are you being what are you training them up to then do for themselves when they are on their own? Or have kids?

Speaker 1

14:34

Yes, and especially in I don't want to make this just about single parents or solo parents because I think it's true for all parents, but like it's a lot of work to feed into your kids all the time and, and to work and we just deserve time away from that. Yeah, I think we're putting too much pressure on ourselves in general to be everything all the time

Candice McCoy

14:55

and realizing that you are a person Not just a mom, but like your Tiffany and you have your own interests, your own passions. Do you feel like you were able to see that before Mike died? Or do you feel like there was something about going through that process that helped you to see that more?

Speaker 1

15:12

I think I've always had this thing in me. Like, I don't want to be that mom whose kids leave for college and then is like, now what? That thought scares me. And so I think it's always been important to me to keep up my interest. I play tennis once a week, and I just things like that go to concerts still, when they are growing into themselves and becoming young adults. I want to be like, awesome, free time for me to explore, I don't want to feel like miles. Yeah, lost. Exactly. So I think it's been there for a long time. And this has just really amplified it.

Candice McCoy

15:49

You share a lot about this on your feed, how travel has kind of been this part of your healing journey. And just a way that you do pour into yourself. And I you know, saw this post recently and view it was your daughter in Spain, I think. And it was such a beautiful picture. And you were like, just see the sparkle in her eye. And just what that moment and that trip did for you inside. And it literally gave me chills. I would love for you just tell us a little about how you really fell in love with travel.

Speaker 1

16:20

So just going back real quick. When I was in college, I played Ultimate Frisbee with a group of women. And it was awesome, because we drove all over the country for long weekends, like all year long, and I road tripped as a kid too. So when we had kids, Mike and I knew like, we're just going to we're going to be a roadtrip family. And starting from the time, Paige was like three months old, we were doing 10 hour road trips to go see family or whatever. We always did a ton of domestic travel. And then after he died, I really just I had to run away, I was in like full flight mode. And my cousin who had the time she was like, I'm gonna come live with you for as long as you need me to. And I was like, great. Let's go to Colorado. And we drove to the mountains and spent a few weeks and so that was good and healing but still really hard because it was very fresh. The following summer, I just decided I was going to do around the country road trip with the kids. So we drove through Colorado, and all the way west to California and then down to Arizona back to Colorado. And then we went east to Rhode Island. And that's a quite the trip. Yeah, we covered like you say, well, over the course of the summer, we covered like 1000 miles, and we were gone probably six weeks. That's incredible. And most of it I did on my own some we had my family for some of the legs, but it's just those new experiences. Like when life is so dark, and then you find some light somewhere, you just run towards it. Yeah. And that's what traveling was doing for me. And I could see like, the kids and I were connecting in this beautiful way. And like it's not like there's not hard moments and moments that I was embarrassingly screaming at them in the car, like, it's just me and you guys and stop yelling at each other. You know, yeah,

Candice McCoy

18:10

the low moments too, of course, no matter where you are doing,

Speaker 1

18:14

it was just in their resilience and their ability to just pick up and go with me, it was so bonding for us. And I couldn't get enough, really, it was just like more of that place. More light, you know,

Candice McCoy

18:30

yours was on this like incredibly intense scale because of everything you guys had been through. Yeah. But that is one of the biggest things that just draws our family to travel too is just the, it's this unique bonding that happens when you're out of your environment when you're experiencing new things when you just have each other, taking that and combining it with you being on your own as a family of three and experiencing that together for the first time off the path and not on your own, especially when you went international. So share with us how you've been able to do that on such an incredible level.

Speaker 1

19:09

Oh, thanks. I want to be fully transparent because this The plan was to do Spain and Portugal last summer, which we did for a month. The plan was to go just the three of us. But a girlfriend ended up joining us for 10 days. And we had another visitor for a few days. So like it wasn't really just me the whole time. The whole month. Some of that time. I

Candice McCoy

19:28

feel like you're I feel like you are giving us as a disclaimer but still navigating like yeah, making it happen getting there. And even just, I mean, I've traveled like with people who were not my husband like my sister. Yeah, it's not it's still not the same.

Speaker 1

19:42

It's like it I had no idea that like worldschooling was a thing, or that. Yeah, long term travel was a thing. I was just like, I'm gonna take the kids to Spain for a month like Why Why don't we just string a bunch of those together? And I was like, maybe I'll use Spain as like a tester to see how it goes and It wasn't incredible,

Candice McCoy

20:01

really quickly what you mean by worldschooling? Just for anyone who's not super familiar with the term?

Speaker 1

20:06

Yeah. So just this idea that you use the world as the classroom, basically, and that we would travel long term, and it can be at any pace, but sort of just going around and finding the educational opportunities everywhere you are. And that's the kind of teacher I've always been. Anyway, I wanted to tell you this, because I thought you would appreciate it considering your wanderlust. When I was teaching kindergarten, we used to do this thing called wandering Wednesdays. And everyone said, Yeah, every Wednesday, we would leave the classroom at like, 9am, no matter the weather, and we're in Chicago. So there's like a vast variety of weather. And we would just go and explore. And lots of times, we just wander around the woods. And sometimes we do the city buses, and sometimes we'd go to playgrounds, and just learn from the world. And then we come back to and we'd eat lunch outside together. And it was really one of those spots of light in my in my grief to where I was like, okay, wandering, being in the woods being in nature, it's all joyful.

Candice McCoy

21:10

And literally, no matter how far you are from home, it doesn't have to be far epic, like, you know, extreme. Even just getting out of your normal routine. Yeah, I'm wondering, with no specific itinerary,

Speaker 1

21:23

totally. So we did Spain and went great. I mean, it was, except for like, one day where I think the three of us were like, we're so sick of each other. It was, it was really, truly heavenly. And came back and was just like, I'm gonna do this with them for a year, and I'm a teacher, I'm not worried about their schooling along the way. I'm actually so thrilled and excited to take on that challenge. They're the perfect age to do it. Old are they? So pages 10. And, and she'll be 11 When we go, and I'll be almost nine when we go.

Candice McCoy

21:59

Because they can do a lot on their own. And they're an independent, and they can take care of themselves carry their own bag, but they still are like present with you.

Speaker 1

22:07

Yeah, and they're not too in the grasps of the traditional things like travel sports, and their social network and all the polls of school and academics. And I think what I was gonna say is that it's like a dream, I didn't even realize I could dream. It seemed too big, and, but I was like, I'm just gonna do it. And my parents do all the worrying for me.

Candice McCoy

22:34

Hey, they're taking a pause to tell you about the wonder list. It's a weekly email I curate and share with our community of more than 1000 Women who are getting off the beaten path in both travel and life. Inside it, I share a roll up of inspiring stories of women in this community. And my favorite links to articles, podcast racks, and so much more. I hear from women every week who find encouragement and ideas to put the most life into their days. So I'd love for you to join us, you can sign up for free at the Great wunderlist.com/hello or follow the link in the show notes. Also, when you subscribe, I'll share a list of my favorite books to help you on your journey. For almost a decade now I've held a morning ritual for the health of my mind and spirit. Reading, praying, meditating, journaling, I always start the day by infusing my mind with truth and connecting with my soul, which has really changed the quality of my dates. So I'd love to send that list to you for free when you join us. Head over to the great wonder last.com/hello And I'll see you there. Okay, now back to the capo. I'm sure you've gotten a little bit of pushback from gosh, the parents.

Speaker 1

23:45

Yes, they are. They are apprehensive and worried. I will tell you,

Candice McCoy

23:49

what do you feel like is your like, if you could just iterate your greatest dream or vision for the Indian y'all are leaving in the summer, right? Yeah, we live in August. Okay, no big money here. And what do you hope the most to come out of this year around the world? Well?

Speaker 1

24:05

Yeah, that's such a hard question. I think what I'm looking for is a bonding experience for the three of us that and it just, I have grown up in a bubble, like a Chicago suburban bubble, and it has been beautiful. But the more I poke holes in it, the more I realized there is so much I don't know about the world. I want them and to me to see that like the world is so much bigger than what we know and that there's infinite opportunities for learning and growing. And I just feel like I can't even imagine what it's going to be like, Yeah, I just am so excited.

Candice McCoy

24:45

After all of your journey of everything that you have been through and being able to be a few years and at the point that you are and being able to now help lead the way for other women who are maybe at the beginning of theirs or somewhere in the midst. What would you say is one mess If you could just give it out to everybody in the world, what would that message be that you've learned,

Speaker 1

25:05

in addition to the things we've talked about, I want to tell people to take care of themselves. I mean, really, physically such an important thing, right? If we don't have our health, so many people are loving you, and depending on you and take care of yourself, physically, there's a lot of rhetoric around you only live one life. And so do what you want. It's like, yes, yes, but also be responsible, because people depend on you. But then that also, of course, is your mental health to write and giving yourself time, please take care of yourself. But to the best of your ability, there is

Candice McCoy

25:43

something very huge to be said for doing what actually is going to bring happiness, ultimately, to level in the long run versus this moment, you know, yeah, I would love to hear really quickly, just like what are a few things that you do on a daily basis as routines, rituals that help you make sure you're doing that, for me,

Speaker 1

26:05

it's always been a thing to wake up early, before the kids have my coffee, and either read or journal, when the weather is warm enough, I go to the beach, if I can, and watch the sunrise. Those things are big for me. And then just activity exercise, whether it's like playing tennis or just being active, you know, choosing movement, and then you're tired at night, and you can sleep better. And that's something I'm really working on. That's hard for me is getting enough sleep. And just choosing time for myself, like we talked about.

Candice McCoy

26:39

Yeah, doing those every those kinds of things every day. I know it's like warding off even if I feel great today. And I'm like, Oh, I can skip it. I know doing it anyway, every single day is warding off those future things are helping set me up better to handle it. Yeah. So I love those suggestions and the sunrise over the lake. I mean, I know I'm a little jealous.

Unknown Speaker

27:03

Yes, I'm very fortunate,

Candice McCoy

27:05

the mission of the great wonder last. And she who wonders is to just lift the voices of all different kinds of moms, who are passionate about not just settling for the status quo, and kind of what we're expected to do by society, but just to create your own reality live a vibrant life where you really feel fully alive. Yeah. And so I would just love to hear what is your great wonder last? What makes you feel the most alive?

Speaker 1

27:33

I mean, travel is the obvious answer. That's really what's been Yeah, lighting me up, which is also why I have become totally obsessed with travel hacking, because I'm like, the more I hack somewhere I can go, I wish we

Candice McCoy

27:44

had time to get into that people will have to, again, connect with you.

Speaker 1

27:48

Yeah, I would, I would love to help anybody. For real, it's just so amazing. But the actual answer is that it's 1000 little things. It's, it's a sunny day, this is gonna sound so cheesy, but like, for real. It's like the son being out in February. And it's being able to go for a bike ride along the lake and having a giggle session at bedtime with the kids, the thing I took for granted before my husband died, that life is filled with joy. And then I saw after he died that, oh, man, a lot of people are experiencing really hard stuff. And in darkness, and in in some people in a way that I will never understand. Because I'm not the kind of person that suffers from depression, or anxiety. And I know that those can be debilitating. But I have really learned how to recognize the spark of joy, and how to seek it out. And to also know that like, that's not going to be 100% of the time. And that's okay. Yeah, but to just really appreciate the moments when they're there. I was just thinking

Candice McCoy

28:57

about that this morning, this whole idea that we'll be subconsciously just want it to be that joy and the happiness and feeling good all the time. But without the opposite end of that spectrum. It wouldn't feel joyful, it would directly normal, like everything would be the same. So you have to have that opposite end, you know, yeah. Which is, it's hard. But if you can recognize that, then it maybe helps a little be able to recognize those for what they are and hope that they help enhance those feelings of joy. But I love what you said. Would you say seeing that those sparks of joy? Yeah. Because I think that we like you said maybe you took it for granted. And I think so many of us do. Those sparks of joy are everywhere. But we're just so busy. We're running all the time. We have a million things on our mind. And it is so easy to miss them. You know, that's something that you can experience anytime, anywhere. Yeah.

Speaker 1

29:51

And like especially if, if you can, like tune in to what it is for you. Yeah, then it's so much easier to be like, Oh God, you know, this is this is something I I think I can just say, like I've bit become good at, which is, I'm feeling crappy or Griffie, or I know, a big day is coming up and I have to combat it, you know? Yeah, I know what to do for myself, like, go see the sunrise, almost guaranteed a better day, these little things that when you figure them out for yourself, you have this whole toolbox, you know, and I'm trying to also be patient with myself that the grief days, the hard days there for a reason, and they have to be I'm gonna grieve my husband forever, right? It will look different. But yeah, I just think that's so important for people to be able to find for themselves.

Candice McCoy

30:40

I feel like you are just leading the way again, to really see the joy emanating from your life and just the things that you are rebuilding for yourself over the last several years and sharing that with other people is just making such an impact. And so I really do not want to wrap up this conversation for another hour, but Okay, are you ready for these rapid fire questions?

Unknown Speaker

31:04

I'm ready. Okay, so

Candice McCoy

31:05

number one, where are you off to? Next?

Speaker 1

31:09

I am doing a women's trip to Costa Rica in April, with all other young widows. Yeah.

Candice McCoy

31:17

That is the dream. Yeah. Yeah, no, I have a thing a soft spot for Costa Rica. So

Speaker 1

31:23

yeah, we'll have to talk about that soon. Because I'm taking the kids for three weeks. We're gonna start in Guatemala, then Costa Rica. That's the beginning of our trip.

Candice McCoy

31:31

I can't wait to see you get to do okay. So next, where would you love to spend a day wandering?

Speaker 1

31:37

So I thought a lot about this. I don't think my kids are quite the age yet. But really, Patagonia is sort of my dream. Yeah. So I think like when they're teenagers, maybe,

Candice McCoy

31:48

yeah, that'll be good. Or maybe you'll take a woman's trip. Maybe before then. Yeah, good idea. Okay, number three, what is a book that you've loved, or that has had an impact on your life? God, this

Speaker 1

31:59

is so hard, because it's like how many you know all the different facets of your life? I'm going to say too, because I can't pick so one is do you know, Sir Ken Robinson, he's an educator. Okay. I mean, he's sounds like I should. He's incredible. He recently passed, but he has the most ever watched TED Talk. It's called Do schools kill creativity?

Candice McCoy

32:20

Okay, I have heard of that TED talk. I just didn't recognize the name.

Speaker 1

32:23

It's 100% worth a watch. And his book, which maybe is by the same title, or just called Creative schools, as a teacher really resonated with me, but then also just as a, as a mother, and for sure, as a homeschooler, world schooler, he just thinks brilliantly about children, and about the way we educate and teach. So hi, whenever I pick that up, ASAP, yeah, definitely just start with the TED Talk. It's amazing. And then the second one is a children's book, actually. And it's called Esperanza Rising. I love Esperanza Yes, it's so I've read it for the first time when I was teaching fourth grade before I even had kids. And I just remember thinking like, this is how you get inside of a life you've never lived, and have some semblance of understanding of the difficulty of people's lives. And I'm so excited to read it with the kids. And I just, you know, that empathy piece is so important as humans and literature can do that. And so I'm really excited to kind of dive into that stuff with them.

Candice McCoy

33:30

I am so glad that you said that. When would I really want to be traveling all the time, but we can't be. And so we're at home. And so the way we do that is books, you know, like that's a way to get into a different world and other sand other people's windows and literally, Esperanza Rising is one of my top favorites that really set me on that path with the kids. Right. When we first started homeschooling, we did it as a read aloud. Yes. Okay, last one, who inspires you to dive deeper into travel and life?

Speaker 1

34:01

Oh, my gosh, this is hard, because there's so many people in different ways. You know, I think seeing a few friends who have traveled the world in the last few years has been inspiring. There's so many people on Instagram that I'm just amazed by, I mean for almonds abroad. And you know, like, the people who are doing it now that I get to watch and learn from is really exciting. And it's like new people all the time. So that's really great in terms of life. So now I'm just thinking like post, like in my grief life, because there are endless people who have inspired me until the end. But I have a friend named Dana frost and she runs a program or she runs a page called the forest Joy project. And from the very beginning, she has been just really inspiring to me and she lost her husband about three years before I did and she's also like started a grief support community and she's just like a badass, amazing is a woman and she is such an uplifter of other humans. And I just admire her so much. And so if any other Grievers are listening, she's totally worth checking out, because she's really incredible.

Candice McCoy

35:14

Awesome. That's so good. I feel like you know, social media gets a bad. You know, there's some ways that it can be unhelpful, for sure, yeah. But the way that we can share and impact other lives through showing people that are hundreds of miles away from us even that it can be navigated that you can come out on the other side, that you can even use your story to inspire other people, which is what you are doing. And I feel like really leading the way with being vulnerable. And putting yourself out there, even if it is not always easy, because we know it's not, you know, but just to try to make an impact, even if it's just a few people, which I know for you, it's gonna be a lot more than that. So

Speaker 1

35:59

the other thing is with my kids, you know, I just, I'm very hyper aware, especially as a teacher that these kids are growing up in a technological landscape that we did not. And I'm, I just really want to show them that social media can be an amazing tool in their life, like I have learned so much from people on social media, and I've connected with people and 99.8% of what I do on social media is positive influence in my life.

Candice McCoy

36:31

Okay, well, I would love to just hear real quick how people can connect with you. Because I know a lot of people are gonna want to do that after this episode. So where do you hang out online? Where can people find you?

Speaker 1

36:42

Yeah, so right now I'm really just at rebuilding joy on Instagram. That's kind of my spot. You know, there's a dream of having a website and having a blog. And there's dreams of all the things and YouTube and all the things but like, I'm just still trying to figure out what I'm gonna do to kind of document our travels and our life, but it's Instagram right now. So awesome. Well, everybody got into my dad's.

Candice McCoy

37:08

Yes, we will put that in the show notes so people can go find you and connect with you and just be inspired by you so many thank you so much for just your time and sharing your heart and being vulnerable, sharing your journey. I know it's gonna help. So

Speaker 1

37:23

thank you for how just appreciate it. And for doing this, this is so cool.

Candice McCoy

37:27

Thank you. If this podcast impacted you maybe gave you a new perspective or made you think differently about something I would love to hear from you. Take a screenshot or share and tag me on Instagram. I'd love to connect. And if you'd like to help us grow the reach of these conversations, be sure to subscribe to the she who wonders podcast wherever you listen, and I'd be so grateful if you leave us a podcast rating and review. Until next time, keep wandering

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