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Hi, my name is George Abraham and welcome to Eyeway Conversations. My guest today is Melody Goodspeed from the United States. She is a professional with the American Foundation for the Blind. She is a mentor, a wife, and a mother. Hi, Melody, welcome!
Hi, George. So exciting to be here with you.
I was just reading about you, Melody and I believe you lost your sight all of a sudden at the age of 26. What's the story there?
I was a teacher at the time and I taught children with learning disabilities, and the public school system. And I started to experience headaches. And I'll give you the fast version. Headaches became very severe and long story short, I had an undiagnosed blood clot in my brain which caused pressure on my optic nerves. And it ended up in total blindness for me. So losing my eyesight at the age of 26 in 2003 was very traumatic, very devastating and really left me in a really dark place.
So what helped you to turn life around?
I was really sick, George for like a year. I had to move back in obviously, with my family. I was living about an hour and 15 minutes away from my dad and my stepmom and my brother and sister live close by. And they really were super super incredibly supportive, really just taking care of me being so sick. And then dealing with the eyesight loss which was just was really hard because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go, I didn't know even how I would live. I really truly thought at that time that I'd be spending the life like living with my parents again, and really just not knowing what to do. And the other person that really helped me in that space at the time was my boyfriend and we'd only been dating, I guess for about three months prior to that. And he was also really supportive and just stayed like really close and helpful. And he would drive down on the weekends and was just a really good comforting spot for me. He's now my husband which is why I bring him up and you've been married now for 16 years.
You had wonderful support around you. But what was the little step that came in front of you that you took and move back into life?
You know, I will be honest and tell you and your audience I just didn't want to live. I thought this is if I have to live in this life with no sight. This isn't something that I want to do. And that was really hard. And one day- I remember distinctly this day- I was laying in bed, it was late at night and I just started crying and I thought I don't know how to do this. I don't want to do this. And I'm a pretty faithful person and I just started talking to God and I was like I just don't want to do this. I just can't, I don't have this envy. This is too hard. And there I have this overwhelming sense of yes, I can, it was little voice but it was just saying yes I can. I didn't even know what that meant at the time. And the next morning I woke up and I went in to go talk to my mom and I just looked at her and I was like I would really like to go get my nails done. And she was so excited. She's like, oh my gosh, okay, let's go and we went and get or nails done. And we went shopping and to lunch. And it was just nice to be out. And I really felt like okay, I gotta take baby steps to this. And in that particular weekend, I happen to be hanging out with my boyfriend at the time, and he was doing some searching and he found the American Foundation for the Blind. And I'm like, well okay, what's that all about? He's like, well, they have like a connect service here. And so he's like, it looks like you can, you know find people in the job that you do and connect with them. I'm like, okay and so I got connected to a teacher which is what I did, and he was a math teacher but totally blind and we have this great discussion. And I gotta tell you, George listening to him talk about how happy he was and how he was doing his classroom and how he was living this life. It just really gave me that that glimmer of hope. Because I really needed just listening to this person talk. And then from there, I was introduced to other people that were blind. There was even an individual in the small town where my parents were living at the time where I was living, who was also blind and meeting up with him was so incredible for me, just to be able to see like, okay these people are functioning, and they seem happy, they genuinely seem happy. And so I just really talk to them a lot and really started to network, figuring out, okay what can I do? How do you do this? What should I do? And then from there, it led me to receiving rehabilitation services, which George, I gotta tell you at the time was still really scary for me. Like this whole thing is still really scary, right? Because it's new. But I have the support of my friends and my family that meant so much to me. And I was able to move, take baby steps.
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What was the kind of important skills that you learned at rehab which you think kind of gave you that confidence to move on?
Really honestly, George, the hardest thing for me was embracing that white cane, right? It's just to me, it was, you know it draws attention. Or even I'm a very outgoing individual right, I love seeing smiles on people's faces and connecting with people and that just wasn't happening anymore. When I was out, like people would avoid me and I would say good morning and they wouldn't respond back. And it just made me feel so deflated. And so I think for me getting to that place of seeking the services and being on campus with other individuals that were blind, and were going through the same thing, whether you know it was progressive because there's so many different ranges of eyesight loss, right, I'm total, but some people can see a little and that sort of gets confusing sometimes and so being around other people and really trying to embrace that white cane and getting out and realizing that the came wasn't something that set me apart. But it got me to where I needed to go. I remember the first time walking back from my classes back to my dorm thinking, the very first time that I did it successfully, just thinking this thing is really powerful. Like it's not a symbol of weaknesses, it's a power of strength and overcoming and encourage. You know, from there, I moved into a guide dog because I walk fast. And so- she's actually sitting right here at my feet right now, snoring right now because it's 10 o'clock at night here in the East Coast of the United States. But that for me was just a different world and being able to really get out and realize that I was a functioning member of society, and that I did belong and that I had gifts to offer and that I also had much to learn. So I would say that and then coupled with the technology and Braille and learning that there are, you know, things that you know, the technology is here, there is nothing that we have to recreate. It's already here, we're doing it and seeing even that from you know, 2003 to now and 2022 how much all of that has changed. And really how we are embracing people with different abilities. I don't even consider a disability. It's just people with different abilities.
How did you plan your return to professional life?
A really dear friend of mine, her father was my technology teacher at rehab, and she and I became very good friends. Her name is Lisa and she was telling me look, I know what's hard and when you get back home, you're gonna get sad because you're so busy now and now it's gonna be like, what do I do? And she's like, just grab the phone book, which was crazy that time, the phone book right and go contact nonprofits and just start calling them to do volunteering. And I'm like, okay, so I did. She's successful. She do really good job in marketing. She was out all the time. She you know, was just so successfl, she became a mentor to me. And that's why I'm so passionate about mentoring now. Because it's really my mentors that I picked up along the way that kept me going. And I just like Lisa told me to do that so I did, I contacted a bunch of different nonprofits and I gave four hours a day for two days a week, rewinding tapes for library like that books to audiobooks for people that are buying for vision impaired. I would go two days a week and I would rewind tapes but I felt like it was a good thing. It helped me to get out, it helped me to get integrated back into society. I then noticed that their technology lab that they had really needed some help. So I helped there in booting up their computer, I even offered to teach like some adaptive technology techniques that anyone needed it and then helping them with a kind of a curriculum too. So it was just a good thing to get me going. And then I decided, you know, meeting with my vocational rehabilitation specialist about, you know, what does my job search look like? Right, I couldn't really go back to the type of teaching that I was doing and I decided that I would, you know, move into something different. So I went back to school. And I worked really hard. I went back to school for getting my certification in government contracting, because I live in the DC area and government contracting is so huge there, right? And government jobs. So I thought, okay, well, I'm gonna go after a government job. And I really took to contracts management. I thought that was something that I could do and enjoy. And I did and I started really, you know, going for classes and getting my certification and that I was really actually very proud of how I was advocating, I didn't realize it at that the time, George, but I was really advocating with teachers just, you know. I can't see a piece of paper, could I get that electronically, really learned how to advocate for myself, which is so important to people that you really have to learn to speak up for yourself. And I really have learned to do that, with my mentors. And also with moving into the world as a person who is blind and people, most part are not mean, they just don't know. And you have to educate them. And you have to be open to that. And once you do, it really does open up their eyes and opens up your eyes, to seeing the possibilities of what you can do together. So I started doing that. And I, again, networking and I ended up coming across someone who told me about a job where they it was a contract for the Social Security Administration. I went and I submitted my resume and a bunch of resumes actually, but I didn't land an interview of this place and ended up getting my first job working as a government contractor, and going to school and I got to travel the United States talking about the different programs that were available to people with disabilities. And I gotta tell you, George, it was really a great experience for me because I got to travel. Like I said, I went to at least nine different states within the the US and I was traveling on my own independently. And, you know, I look back at that girl who first lost her eyesight back with her dad and the day that I was so scared that my dad's like, you know, you have to go to your doctor's appointment, and I was too terrified to even get out of bed and he had to pick me up and carry me to the car because I was sobbing and I was so petrified with fear and placed me in the car and I think about that girl, you know me that 26 year old terrified girl was now jet setting across the states, you know, and I was scared. But I pushed myself, I became very comfortable with being uncomfortable.
So the key for you was volunteering, advocacy and networking, which got you back into the world. From the government contracting job, you moved into the National Industries for the Blind. Now what does this organizational or entity do and what were you doing with them?
At the time when in to National Industries for the Blind, I was moved into the public policy department but I was External Affairs. So it was really working with the other blindness organizations and also running our advocates program. And I really enjoyed that. Meeting with these people that would come in and really find out like what's going on in the blind community. It was actually, George my first time really being submerged in the blind community. I had mentors at that time, but really embracing and knowing like how there are over 32.5 million people in the US alone that are blind or vision impaired, I mean, that's a huge number, that's just in the States. And in my little pocket of the world, I'm meeting all these incredibly successful and passionate individuals, living their lives to the fullest and, and it was really just something I needed, right. So really was great, you know, being a blind mom and meeting other blind moms. And then also, like with these other organizations, I know you asked me about NIB, but I wanted to plug that part. But we really worked with the advocates program and bringing people in from all over the United States with the different agencies that in NIB supports, being able to meet these people and train them on being advocates and going to the hill and talking about their issue, new policies and what they're facing in their communities as blind individuals and really bringing systems change.
Now, AFB- the American Foundation for the Blind, tell me a little bit about what does this foundation do because India would be interested in knowing what are the kinds of service and what are the kinds of facilities they offer? And what is the role that they play in the lives of blind people in the US?
Sure. So in my role, particularly, I'm in the development office, so I'm in fundraising, and I have such a unique role and exciting. I think I have one of the best jobs at AFB. And that is, I get to really speak about all of our programs. So we just kicked off after so let's talk about COVID. We've all been through that right. In AFB, our mission statement is creating a life of no limits for people that are blind and visually impaired. And we really took that to heart when it came to COVID. Since I've been there, it's really just educating and we want system change. And what I mean by system change is just making sure that we have level playing ground for everybody. That is our goal to make to reduce barriers, to break down barriers, to get our partners, our policymakers, everybody that we can partner with, to realize that people with visual impairments or blindness, are creative thinkers, and have so many unique gifts to offer to make real positive change in this world. And when you have someone who's doing something different, you know, like, George, how you and I would, you know, look at a computer, it's going to be totally different. You're going to be able to see the computer screen, I'm not, but I'm going to be using a screen reader. But with that, there are things I'm going to notice that maybe you want and there are different ways that I'm going to look or approach something. But at the end of the task, we're going to get to it the same way. And so that's kind of like what we do at AFP you're showing like, hey, you know we're blind, but we're doing things in a different way. But that doesn't make us any worse or actually makes us more creative. Because we're constantly looking at things differently. And we're constantly, you know removing our own barriers and constantly like thinking like, okay, I'm constantly thinking, like, who would want an employee that's constantly thinking, okay well, that's a barrier. But let me turn that into an opportunity, or look at this differently and fosters creative thinking. So really, what we do is we take those opportunities, we just started new workforce development programs, we really take our research team, which I love them so much. They take concrete research that we do in house that's different, we like to sample different things like we just did a, like a did with the data we took from COVID housing, seeing blind children or being serviced and how like bringing that to policymakers and realizing the difference of how technology is viewed and being able to bring that change. So we want to be able to level that playing ground, and really moving forward for people in the United States and working with our partners and those people that are on the ground, providing those direct services, the support that they need to be able to make the change. And with that we also just had our Leadership Conference this past May where we brought together people in the policy world, people in the blindness community, our partners such as Google, Apple, all of those great organizations that we have on our board and a lot of other organizations that are just saying, hey, you know, we're not there yet. But we want to know how we would support someone who's blind to bring them in and do these jobs. So that's what we do is we really educate and we focus on our three key areas, which is employment. We focus on education. We also focus on our aging population, and when we say aging population, I really want to spell this one out a little bit. It doesn't just mean like people, you know, we obviously want to talk about, like people who are retiring, right? We're living longer. Do you know that one in four individuals, as they get older is going to have some sort of eye condition. And when we think you're living longer, which means you're going to be working longer. We also like, want to be able to retire in a place where you can say to your employer, hey, I'm losing my eyesight but a lot of people hide that they don't want them to know. So what happens? looks like their work starts to slip because they don't want to let them know that they may be diagnosed with glaucoma. I've seen this, I see it all. And we want to be able to create an environment where you can go to your employer and say, listen, I'm having this eyesight condition, and it's okay, well let's maybe find how can we support you? What can we do. And that's the system change we want to make is to be able to make sure that we're all on a level playing field, and that we're all able to bring our unique selves to work and to our communities. And that's the support that we provide.
By the way, Melody, I must tell you that I look at the computer screen exactly the way you look. I've been blind since the age of 10 months, so. (both laughs)
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I just wanted to know, you mentioned that the boyfriend you had when you were teaching you is now your husband of 16 odd years. And you also have a little family where you have a 12 year old son and a 5 year old daughter.
Yes
Would you like to tell us what it is to be blind woman who is a wife and a blind woman who's a mother? What are the pleasures and the pains?
I don't know what it's like to be anything but a blind mother. Right? And that's kind of trippy. And it's silly all the time. I mean, I'm not going to tell your audience or you and say that it's easy because it's not. Transportation is a thing. I mean, I have the dream of wanting to be that soccer mom that was you know, driving their kids everywhere and you know, getting in that van and all that stuff, but it's just, you know, my reality isn't. But it's being there with my kids in other ways. And I can definitely say that I think makes us a closer family in the sense that you know, I'm very close with my children. And of course, you know, our daughter is so incredibly busy. And I mean she just is non stop, she's a little firecracker. And you know, I had fears George like, oh my gosh, you know, when they get older, they get embarrassed to have a mom that can't see and different, I stand out and all that stuff. And I realized that, you know, I was actually talking to my son, you know, I was like when did you realize I couldn't see it? He's like, I don't know, probably around six. And he was like, you asked me questions like, mom, what's up with all the questions? I'm like, I just was curious. And he's like, wouldn't you do anything for anybody else? Like you're just a normal mom. He's like, actually no, you're not a normal mom, you are a fun mom and you care about me and you always think about other things to do. So it's funny how we view ourselves sometimes is not how other people view us. Right? That's a tell tale thing there. And it was a very humbling thing for me to hear. Seeing myself through the eyes of my children. We have our good times, we have our bad times. Sometimes I just want to sit on the floor and cry. And sometimes I'm really celebratory, you know, changing diapers and babies and all that stuff was really difficult. But, you know, I also realized that when I was learning and hanging out with women in my neighborhood that were new moms, they were experiencing a lot of the same things and I think that's important to say. And then being a wife is is definitely you know, we do our very best and my husband is not blind, he's totally sighted and you know, he is the driver and sometimes though I say you know what, let me take you out when we get into Uber you know, I think that's really important is to not feel like you are you know, like not to put your marriage into a caregiving type of situation but being equals. And I think that's so incredibly important. And I have to say that we both really support each other in both of our fields. But we also work very well together as a family and I think we have our problems just like anybody else does, don't get me wrong. But I think for me, it's what, you know, obviously growing up, you know, my parents divorced when I was seven and then remarried and so I got my brother and sister and my stepmom and we all were in the house together so I remember you know, those memories of growing up with those two was just very strong for me and I want that same for my kid, you know, is to have that, that strong relationship and, and getting to the core of what is really important and what is really important at the end of the day is support and love right.
Melody you are an extremely busy woman, meaning you've got your time cut out with the American Foundation, you have your family, and so on and so forth. So what does Melody Goodspeed do when she's free? What are your hobbies? What are your interests?
Oh, this is so fun. So here's the thing, George, I'm a very adventurous person. I love everything. I love to go to amusement parks with my kids. You know we have Busch Gardens live near our house here and we go there. I love to the pool. I love to bike like tandem biking which I'm itching to do really bad. Again trying to find a place here. I love being outdoors it's like a big thing for me. I love being outside. I love going to movies. I love shopping like I absolutely love fashion. I know people are like oh my goodness. But if you were to see my closet, George. It's pretty embarrassing. I am a fashionista, I love clothes shopping. I love shoes. I love makeup. I love getting my hair done. I'm very girly girl. I love life. I just love it. I think that being with your friends and your family and go and try different foods, I love trying different things. I would love to plan a trip in September with some girlfriends of mine and go to like the venture thing, go ziplining. I've done tandem hang gliding. I love roller coasters like I just am all over the place. I love going to museums, I love love love just being anything that's adventurous. There's so much in the world that's so beautiful. And experiencing those things with your friends and loved ones is so important. And one of the big things I've been getting into lately is with Bold Blind Beauty. I'm actually the fashion icon. Abby, I'm the voice of Abby if you ever visit Bold Blind Beauty. Stephanie McCoy is the founder and CEO. She's amazing. You can have her on your podcast. And right now is our symbol is AIR- Access, Inclusion and Representation. And really, you know, advocating for that. I love being a mentor to people. I love church. I love being active in my church community. The list is endless. I really do feel like there's so much Life that there is to be seen and done. And it's an adventure to me and I love every second of it.
Yes, life can be wonderful, enjoyable and beautiful. It's just the way you look at it and the way you approach. It is wonderful speaking with humility, I have thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm sure our listeners would have been inspired. Thank you so much for giving me the time.
Thank you so much for having me. This has been awesome, George.
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