let's see so why empathy matters in conflict, it really does expand your perspective. It reduces your defensiveness, builds trust and it reveals deeper needs, so you're able to identify what's truly important to each person, and on this next slide here, you'll see that above the water, I love this iceberg photo because I think it really captures what is going on in any kind of relationship. You can see the behaviors. You can see the facts that are happening. But underneath the water is a whole lot more iceberg, a whole lot more values, attitudes, your culture, your past traumas that might have shaped where you're coming to at this moment and in this time. Um, so underneath the iceberg could be seen as a barrier and also having strong emotions, anger and fear, really can override being empathetic. And being able to self regulate your emotions is really key, needing to be right. I think we all know some people in our lives who really prioritize winning over, finding the common ground. And in that case, I would really say that they're not being open. They're not really ready to come to the table yet. And so maybe I need to do some more work as a mediator to to help them see the advantages of coming to the table with an open mind? There could be biases and prejudices that really prevents us from truly seeing others, and one of the things that we've all seen also is poor listening or apathy and reaching people who don't care, as you might have heard, loneliness is a huge problem in our society right now, in isolation, and one of my intentions is to get people out of that isolation, out of that apathy, And to find something that they do care about. And you know, we really don't need to worry about the result with empathy. We need to think about our motivation, our intention. And so these are some of the barriers to empathy. Empathy circle techniques. Briefly, I'll just go over this, because a lot of us are trained already in empathy circles, but we fully focus on the speaker without planning any response, and we do some active listening, and then it's time for the reflective listener to paraphrase what they've heard and confirm understanding using their own words, and again, being open, not analyzing, diagnosing, advising, not having judgments or assumptions, and really being present in the. In what's going on and to understand also that they will have a turn to actively listen and speak. So now I wanted to go over a couple case studies that I used in my own conflict resolution and mediation business. So I love this quote here from Bell Hooks, if you want a beloved community, we must stand for justice, have recognition for difference, without attaching difference to privilege. And what does that mean? To me, that means that we all have something to offer, and diversity is an asset, and these differences that we have don't have any status to them. We are all valuable. And I just love that quote from Bell Hooks, because that's how I go into these empathy circles. So the situation at that I wanted to share with you all happened at a day center for women and children who are experiencing homelessness, and two of the employees, two of the team members, were arguing over a racially motivated language, and they had a long history of of things that have happened. And so I was called in, and I was able to to go in there together with them and do some empathy circles. And they each were able to share their concerns and really reflect back, you know, the essence of what each of them heard. We were focused on making some agreements, not necessarily any resolution, but healing, like I mentioned earlier, not repeating the harm that has been done in the past. And one of my co mediators, Davis, who's here today, likes to say, you know, you do not need to attend every argument you are invited to, and I think that's really important with your emotional regulation. And I think that's something that these participants learned at that case study. But one of the agreements is we developed an inclusivity statement together and an exit policy, and sometimes the resolution really is just the increased understanding. So some of the team members said to me, one of the team members said to me that this is the first time I have ever been able to really share what's happening with me, what's underneath the iceberg, right underneath the water, and this is the first time I've ever to really feel heard. So it was, I think, a real success. The next case study I wanted to share is you've probably heard that the top two reasons for couple separation is money and intimacy. Well, I was able to help a couple with their financial decisions that they were making and each one felt misunderstood and like they were not on the same page. And so using the empathy circles, they were really able to share their deeper fears and their hopes, and they're they're able to validate each other's feelings. And I think this one went on for over an hour. We we did the empathy circles, sharing at four minutes each, back and forth, and the the outcome was really positive in that they were able to hear each other right, having that understanding and then developing a financial plan that really addressed both of their needs. So I've been able to check in with them again, and you know, there's still conflict that comes up. Just because you do an empathy circle doesn't mean all the conflict goes away, but they are able to talk more and understand more about where someone's coming from, and then reassess their agreement if they need to. So since I've been using empathy circles as part of conflict resolution and mediation, I have really had a 97% success rate, and I'm so pleased with using empathy circles as part of my business. So as time wraps up here, I just wanted to say thank you so much for listening. You can contact me at zaradi mediation com, or my email is radi mediation services@gmail.com do. So thank you all again, and I'll turn it back over.