Mark. This is rock and roll English, real people, real English. Here's your host, Mark Johnson,
Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of rock and roll English. Episode number I have not checked, I'm guessing 358 That's a guess. You'll have to tell me. I will write it when I publish this episode, so you can check but I'm just too lazy to do that. So on to today's episode, and I am talking to mentor Marky. Mark Yes, he is back, and we talk about holidays, because the holiday season is very much upon us. And speaking of that, this will actually be the last podcast for a few weeks. Again, if you ask me when the next podcast will be, I'm not 100% sure. I haven't really thought it through, but I am going to Italy for a few weeks. And yes, so it will be towards the end of August. Okay, so enjoy this episode, and I will talk to you at the end. Happy listening. Mental, Marky Mark, how are you today? Hello,
mate. Good to be back. I'm all right. I'm very well. Thank How are you
always fantastic. Mental Marky. Mark always fantastic. Even more fantastic. I'm looking at you with your baseball cap on. That's quite like a sort of park ranger,
Americanized. That's what's happened
to you. Yeah? Did you get did you get that from the States for your time over there? Did?
Yeah, yeah. And it's one of those ones that you buy a hat from something you have nothing to do with, like, this is from a golf course, and apparently, like quite a famous one, but I like the look of it. But people ask me if I played that particular golf course, and I just say, No, I don't know what you're talking about.
Are you a golfer? I have started, I've had a couple of lessons, and I do enjoy it because that's because you hang around with
posh speed. It's not a posh sport, mate. It's not, definitely a posh sport. No golf. Come on.
It's, it's posh. It's too posh for me. You any good?
I think, I think we should have a golf day for everyone, and you can be the judge. No, I'm not very good, but I can do a drive and do a few iron shots, do some putting.
Yes, it's a real golf vocabulary for people, that's when you're on the green, and the last you have to put the ball in, get a couple of birdies. To show you is that when, that's when you do it. Yeah, let's stop on golf vocabulary. I'm sure people are thinking, I'm not tuning in for tuning in for golf vocabulary. But just to tell you what, how much of a lad I am, cool. I like football, football, golf. Have you ever played that?
I've seen it. I know I've not, not played it.
We should have a game of that. That is a very, very posh sport. It's absolute polar opposite of posh, but a lot of fun. So there you go. Okay, mentor, Mark, you Mark, how do we usually start the
show? Let's see if we've got any reviews. I reckon you have. I reckon you have.
Okay, so you're half right. So someone sent me a message recently saying I have sent you a review, but I haven't actually been able to locate it, so I'm in the process of locating this review, okay, but just to tell people again, it's this difficult to find the reviews, so please do send me a message like this person next time. I'm sure we're going to have one. But anyway, so on, on to today's pod. So I had no idea what to talk about. We arranged this last minute, and because I did say to mentor Marky, Mark can we do next week? And he said, I'm on holiday. So I thought, You know what, let's talk about holidays. Okay, so went straight on chat GPT, give me 20 entertaining questions about holidays. Okay, so that's what we've got. So on holidays are you this is this was literally word for word from chat. GPT, are you a, we need an itinerary person, or let's see where the day takes us? Disaster,
I am a, let's see where the day takes us. Disaster, but I'm married. I'm married to a, we need an itinerary person. So that's where we're at.
I, you know, I, I almost don't believe that. For me, you're the itinerary guy with your with your park ranger baseball cap on your I can imagine with a bum bag. I don't know if people know what bum bags are. They're funny. Classic tourists. Is that that is that true? They call them fanny packs, yeah, in America, that's absolutely true, yeah. But does, does Fanny also mean vagina in
America? No, it means ass. Like, it means bum, oh, really, yeah. It means bum, yeah. So we call it a bum, bang, we call it fanny pack, yeah, all right,
because it's still bum for them. Fanny is. Yeah, right, because in the UK of Fanny, that is a great word. That's a great word, Fanny.
And there's famous office sketch, I don't know if everyone fans of the the British office, the original, where Keith um explains the translation of fanny pack and goes on to say, Well, funny, of course, in America means your bum, not your Minge and then, and then eats a Scotch egg. It's comedy genius
that is an absolute classic scene of British TV. I totally agree. Not yummy, which, again, I didn't, did not expect to be talking about slang words for you. Never know what you know genitalia. Never know, never that's the beauty of rock'n'roll English. But yeah, that is how I imagine. And you know where this comes from? From our holiday in 2003 in fallacy legendary, which So in falaraki, which is in Greece, near Rhodes, but that's the airport we went to. And mental market one day said, oh, let's go and see the ancient Greek ruins. And we were like, What are you talking about? Why would we want to do that? Are you mental? No, we'll just stay here. And you actually went with the girls that we had made friends
with? Yeah, I went with the train, the girls from train, which is a town in the UK, they wanted to go, so I went with them. And you guys, you know, carried on drinking by the pool.
Well, not entirely true. I stayed in bed because daytimes were for sleeping and evenings were daytimes were just trying to get ready for the night out later that day. So yeah, I stayed in bed. I wasn't drinking by the pool, guy or in fact, that brings me to another question I have here, which is, I can't chatgpt worded it really nicely, actually, but I can't find it. But it was something along the lines, oh, here it is, what's your personal rule for when it's acceptable to start drinking on holiday?
That is a good question. So again, the game is different when you have children. However, it depends on the weather. So if it's like glorious, sunny day, yeah, why not 11am you know, everyone says midday, but you know, if you're being sensible, to have a cold beer with lunch, yeah, whatever, yeah.
See, I've never been answered this guy. I don't know if I've seen this, but with you like 6am airport beer. So I honestly have never done that, have you? And I well, I can imagine you getting pulled along with the peer pressure, though, in fact,
yes, someone like our good friend. Well, all of them, really, but add, I'm sure I've seen him sat in Stanford airport for party Guinness at 6am you know, he's the sort of pulled off.
The worst was Corporal com. He loved that, but it's never been something I and even when I am a holiday that I don't get, like my brother, for example, a few years ago, we went on holiday together, and it was like, Oh, you all inclusive. You know, drink what you want. And he would wake up, get by the pool and start drinking alcohol from the moment, from like, 9am until the moment he went to bed. Not like, really. It was never like, really drunk, where he was just constantly drinking the whole time.
Some, for some people, that is holiday. The wit the weird thing, yeah, I know. But our best holiday,
it was before kids that we go on about. You know, unfortunately, we've done a few wicked holidays, but the one that stands out is we went to Morocco, but it was kind of dry. So it was the one holiday we didn't drink, and we climbed a mountain and just hung out in a hotel and stuff and didn't drink. But it was, it was amazing, because you actually felt like refreshed when you got home and chilled out, yeah, rather than hung over and stressed, which is what holidays mean these days.
Well, yeah, it's just that British mentality, isn't it, of just drinking on holiday. I specifically remember, I don't know why I wanted I said to boom, boom, why don't we, strangely enough, go to Sweden. And this was before he had met, uh, Mrs. Boom, boom, who is obviously Swedish. And I said, our flights are really cheap. And he said, Yeah, but I think it's really expensive to drink there. Then I said, what this is already when I'd moved to Italy, and I'd sort of, you know, I was a bit sort of European culture. And I said, What about if we just don't drink?
What mate, we're getting towards that though, we're getting towards that age where we probably go, you know, when we, when we went to Valencia last year, that was brilliant. It did lack itinerary, it did lack a bit of direction, but when we got there, it was fine. And I think, yeah, if we do an activity now, yeah, we'd be happy, but that doesn't include just cracking a beer open like Hillary does
9am Yeah, agreed. But yeah, even the second I did. Even drink when we were in Valencia, but the ideal drinking for me now is a drink just before lunch on almost an empty stomach. It really goes to your head. You really get this. It's the hits the sweet spot, and then have something to eat. Then I'm okay, and then same again for dinner before have dinner. A couple of drinks, have dinner, and then it can't you kind of forget about it. But okay, here's one. Do you buy gifts for people holiday? Because, you know, when we were kids, it was like, I don't know, like, your aunt's been on holiday, they bring you like, a magnet back those days ago, Paris, those days ago. Yeah,
that's what. I might go on a trip with work or or for lunch and stuff, or get the kids fridge magnet. That's it. Our fridge is covered in fridge magnets and places have been that's it. Actually, no postcards in
Valentine. I remember with you, we went to look for something to buy for the kids. I didn't even buy them anything. Yeah, I'm not buying anything, just because it was just absolute, yeah, like, absolute rubbish. And I thought, you know, I'm gonna buy this. It'll be on the fridge, and then they'll probably put it down. It will get broken. They don't care. Even though it was only, like, three euros, I just thought, you know, yeah, no, I'm making a stand. Yeah, I'm not just buying it for the sake of it, okay? But yeah, I agree. Those days, oh god. So not that long ago. Very sweet, I suppose Mrs. RnR's younger sister, it was probably about five years ago now, actually, but she went to Budapest, I believe she came back and book got me like a Hard Rock Cafe key ring from Budapest, and she gave us by media things like, What the hell is this? I should have said, thank you. I was like, What are you doing? People stopped doing that. And then I did you send me a postcard as well? There's no, I forgot about postcards. Yeah,
and when you move house, you find stuff like Hard Rock Cafe, curious. I have no significance to you whatsoever, and it just goes into landfill if there's anything like us moving house. Yeah,
absolutely. Okay. Well, in fact, I'll leave that one I was going to say, what about a guidebook? Have you ever bought a guidebook like Lonely Planet? Where are you? Told me to Where are you going on your holiday?
You guys, yeah, yeah. And yes, we have the guidebook. And you'll see in our house all of the guidebooks. What our whole book really? Yeah, lonely planets with we're that sort of people, so yeah, sorry about that. Lover guide, but to plan the artillery,
well, it is, that is, I think, probably the best thing to do, because then you do see more, but I just can't be asked if it i i Go with the flow. But so another friend who was like, there's a friend from university, I always this example always comes up in my mind. He came to see me in Rome, and I got him a bike. We cycled around the city, saw, you know, Colosseum, all of the sites, and then we were near the Vatican. And I said, Look, we can either go to the Vatican now, I said, but it is this Super Sunday now, and it's Tottenham against Newcastle, or we could go to the English pub and watch that. What do you want to do? He chose watch Tottenham against Newcastle instead of seeing the Vatican, which I still don't think he's ever seen in his life. Great game. I remember perfectly finished two two. And I were doing fantasy football at the time, and my player got a goal and an assist. I was absolutely loving it. So I was, I was over the moon that he chose English Premier League in an English public on Sky Sports.
I love that I still can't believe. And I speak to my friends, a lot of my friends, like love Italy, and I tell them that, oh, my mate, you know Mr. RnR loves Italy. Lived there. He lived in Rome. So have you been to Rome? I'm like, No, have you been foolish? So foolish, kind of friendly.
I didn't even notice that. But now I'm going to
delete you. Okay, I do want you to move back. Just move back. Yeah, great.
Still. Still a chance. Okay, what about this? Do you over pack or under pack?
I usually always over pack.
Of course, you do bring you go, even when we went to Valencia there, like two days and you had, like, I don't know, 10 pairs of socks.
I over pack, I have to admit it over pack. But I always forget something crucial. You know, I'll always forget something. So, yeah, I end up buying stuff at the airport or in in the town or whatever because I forgot my toothbrush or,
yeah, that those are annoying things. When you forget those things, aren't they? I think I remember just stealing your toothpaste, actually, because I didn't have any of that. I remember my toothbrush. Yeah, not my tooth paste, which, yeah, kind of go hand in hand, really, don't they? But, yeah, I'm definitely an under Packer. But I also, especially when you're somewhere, somewhere hot, like, if you're, if you're going, like a beach holiday, like, I'm going to Sicily, we've got, we've rented a place by the beach. And so Mrs. RnR, she's an over Packer. Yeah. And. And, and she'll, she'll even, sometimes, like, even put things in the suitcase after me. So I know you've got to bring these things, but there is no point. I'm literally going to wear my swim shorts. Yeah, two pairs of swim shorts will be enough, and I'm going to wear a t shirt, and that's it. I don't need anything else, yeah,
that's how I think. But then the last minute throws before close the bag, I'm like, well, I'll shove a rain Mac in. Or if it gets cold, or when we land, it will get cold back in the UK. So jumper, jumper, and that's where I'll go wrong. That's where I'll go wrong. Should I put some washing tablets in?
For washing tablets, you know, for some for some reason, when I when I have to, like, pack a suitcase to go somewhere. I always consider it like, you know, when a World Cup squad is being picked, okay, so they have to pick the players to go to the World Cup. You've got the people that you know are going to be there, like your superstars, they're going to be there. But then it's always like, who's going to make it? Who's going to make the plane, this t shirt, or this t shirt? And I, I also find that there's always one item of clothing that becomes a star on the holiday, which you maybe haven't worn for a couple of years. And you think, you know what I'm going to bring that, yeah? And then you wear it all holiday. Yeah,
it's like the Oli guna soul Shire of of your clothing, like sat on the subs bench. But then absolutely wins. It looks better in the sunshine,
and that's it, isn't it? I only wear yellow on holiday, for example. Oh yeah, beautiful suntan with a yellow T shirt. Wins every time, please. Wins every time. Absolute, absolute winner. Okay, what about this one? Okay, well, I'll start with my answer, because that might help you to think of an answer that I want you to offend anyone with this one, okay, but what about your worst holiday? Okay, now for me, I'm not, were you there? I don't know, but a few of us went to Blackpool. And if anyone ever visits the UK, do not go to Blackpool. It is the absolute My God, like gutter, like scum of the UK. It was the worst place I've ever been on this planet is Blackpool.
Yeah, don't listeners never go there. And sorry if you are from there, and maybe you've got some nice things to say
about it, but doubt many people from Blackpool are going to be listening to this. But yeah, it's, yeah,
it's rubbish. So where's the worst place I've been. So I've been to a lot of terrible places on holiday. And yeah, well, actually, we So last summer, and it wasn't really anything to do with the place we went to the North Devon coast this week in July,
expected Devon, this is in England, for people don't know, it's the kind of forgotten part of the country, isn't it? So if you were looking at a map of England. Yeah, it's the bit in the kind of bottom left, because the country just does go on for longer than you think, yeah. And it's just kind of like forgotten about over there, isn't it?
So no one gives a toss, yeah. But beautiful coastline, beautiful villages and stuff, rolling hills. And I went there, and where we stayed was absolutely fine, but the weather in July was, I don't go on holiday in the UK, no cloud. I'm not joking. It was great. You didn't see the sun for the whole week, and it was drizzling, and you're still getting in the pool, the kids and the shivering, and you're going to the beach in the rain actually, just like, What is this
that that is exactly why I just yeah. That's why I've not seen much of the UK as well. Because I don't like go on holiday, because it's not like, it's cheaper, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, I'll stay here. I'm not going to go anywhere because it's cheaper. It costs more than going abroad. Normally, it's just easier to get to that's the only advantage. But because the weather is so bad that so I'm predicting that
I can't I can't be that British person. I can't be that British person. He's like, Oh, it's okay. We're on holiday. It's just a bit of weather. It's just a bit of fun. I'm like, in a terrible mood going, this is terrible. I don't want to be here next year. We're going to go abroad.
I love the fact you sent the kids in the swimming pool anyway. Yes, it's raining and 14 degrees, but you're going in the swimming pool. We are on holiday. Okay, just pretend you're having a good time. It's definitely like that. Get in. Yeah, yeah, you have that with kids. I've taken, like my kids to like baby classes before, and you've paid for it, and then after five minutes, they want to go home. Yet, no, we have paid for this, so you are going to have fun, and it's going to be great. Okay,
don't get upset. No, I don't get upset. Yeah,
which doesn't really, it's not really creating the right environment for fun. When you have to, when you have to tell someone to have fun, it's not, not always good, is it? So this one, actually, I just love the way chatgpt asks this you have kind of answered it already, though. It says, do you always forget one important thing when packing What's your usual victim? Char. Charger, tooth brush or dignity.
I mean, depends what I mean, follow rocky I forgot my my dignity,
that's for sure. I
think we all the two, the toothbrush and the charger. Yeah, absolute Givens. They're always the ones well done Chad, because yeah,
yeah, I actually recently, well, I wouldn't really call it a holiday, but we went to Sicily, not on holiday. So this time I got holidays. We got a place by the beach. We went holiday to stay with, like my parents in law, and I forgot my computer charger and I was supposed to be working. But luckily, in their house. I've still got half of my old house from Italy. In their house, I found my computer from like, 2007 which was still working. You know, that way you have to, like, switch it on, and then you switch on, then you like, go and have a shower and have breakfast, and by the
time you finish. But find any photos on it?
I did, actually, there were a few. But, yeah, I kind of find with, like, a computer like that, it's kind of similar to me, of like, once it gets going so that once, once it gets moving, it's okay. It's how I feel. Most mornings I wake up thinking I want to die and say, Oh my God, I feel terrible in the mornings, not a lot you think, Oh, I'm not going to get through the day. But once I get I get going, and then, well, this is the problem, actually. Then it gets to about eight o'clock, and then that's kind of where I'm sort of at my best and thinking I'm really enjoying the day now. And then you go to bed late, and then the whole cycle starts to get because you're tired
the next day. It's like my life. That's just like the daily grind for me, always tired. It's terrible.
Exactly, okay. So what about this? Do you ever steal things from hotels, so like shampoo?
What else do they think that's stealing? You know when they provide you
with the T belts. Have you ever stolen? Have you ever stolen a towel?
Maybe a baby by accident. I've taken the towel home or whatever.
Oh, sure, they all do it by accident, don't they? Oh, sorry. I'm just have I got all of the hotel towels in my bag, sorry. Oh, what an accident I do.
Usually Nick all the when the biscuits and the herbal tea, some of the coffee sachets. I don't know why. I don't know why my dad, he's got drawers when he traveled in their bathroom. And I mean, like, rammed with all those small, like, shampoo that it was gonna last him a lifetime. Don't need to buy any anymore. It's ridiculous. Have you
okay? So we are going to have to stop the episode there, because we immediately jump into a story, slash stories, which I don't want in the public domain. So they will stay for the RnR family pod, which will be out tomorrow for all RnR family members. If you are interested in becoming a member and listening to all of the other podcasts, there are more than 1000 Yes, you heard that right? More than 1000 episodes not in the public domain. Go to rocknrolling.com click membership. Anyway, on to the vocab from today's pod. There were a few from my vocab course, actually. So when mentor Marky Mark asked me about football golf, and said, is that a posh sport? So posh meaning for rich people? I said it's the polar opposite of posh, meaning the complete opposite. Just a more rock and roll way to say it. And he also said the holiday that he always goes on about was a holiday in, I can't remember, but somewhere where he didn't drink. So when you go on about something, you're always talking about it. I mentioned how a beer before I eat always hits the sweet spot so it hits the spot. Basically, if someone hits the spot, it's just what you need at that exact moment. I also mentioned how I don't buy presents for my family when I go on holiday, because it's normally absolute tact, meaning just rubbish. So I said, I'm making a stand. So if you make a stand, you, you know, like a protest, let's say, and I said, I'm not buying it for the sake of it. So for the sake of it, I love that term, just, you know, because everyone else does it. So, oh yeah, I suppose I'd better buy a magnet as well. That's buying something just for the sake of it. I also mentioned how toothbrushes and toothpaste go hand in hand. You know, generally you have one, you have the other, don't you? They go together, another one from the vocab course and then mental market. Mark said, when he went on holiday in the UK last year, kids were shivering in the pool, so shivering very, very cold. And we also spoke about the daily grind, which you go to bed tired, you wake up tired. You have a long day. You go to bed late, so then you wake up tired again the next day. That is part of the daily grind. So. It anyway. That is it for today's podcast. I will see you, like I said, in a few weeks, and in the meantime, enjoy your holidays, if you are having some, if not, enjoy your life, I suppose, until I talk to you again. So thanks a lot for listening. I will talk to you very soon, but in the meantime, just keep on rocking, baby.
Thanks so much for listening to rock and roll English for more great content and to stay up to date, visit rocknrollenglish.com and facebook.com/rock. And roll English. We'll catch you next time you.
