live our lives. Just like stone size people. I was pretty basic, right? And then anti diet the idea that diets don't work, but if you want a diet you do you it's all about choice if dieting works for you, but for me, dieting doesn't fit with my girls or, you know, politics, whatever. Okay, so now that I've been in fat liberation and anti diet for I think about eight years now. I have a much deeper understanding of my worth. And because I have a deeper understanding of my worth, as a human, just my you know, worth as a human, that I am not an absolute giant bag of shit. Whereas before I really did believe that I was a bag of shit because I have a fat body. And so sometimes, because I'm aware of my worth, I am getting what I am worth, however, sometimes I don't, because I don't have that influence. And that feel shifts sometimes because I understand my worth, I get what I want, I get my worth. And sometimes I don't. And that feels shit. So it can feel really good and it can feel not so good. And I'm just thinking about things like, we're talking about fat stuff and bodies and things like that, but I really feel like it extends to other parts of your life. So for example, things like money, like, because I have my own business, right, and I do consulting with companies and, and other folks, dieticians, whatnot. And I feel like, instead of being incredibly apologetic and charging the absolute bare minimum and being like, Oh, thank you for working with me, and, oh, actually, I'll work for free, which is a lot of kind of how I felt before I be like, This is what my price is. And if you're able to pay it that has no bearing on able and willing to pay it that has no bearing on me, in regards to my worth. Whereas like, if someone say, came back before and was like, Whoa, that's a lot, or oh, that's more than I can afford, then I'd be like, oh, what I hear is, I am not worth this. Whereas now I'm like, No, I know, I know what I'm worth. And some people might not be able to afford to work with me and some people can and that doesn't matter. And we're using the word worth, but it's kind of not necessarily just to do with money, and also not saying that humans need to have a worth. Because I think when I'm what I'm saying worth what I'm saying is what I am entitled to, which is the same as what everyone else is entitled to right. Before I didn't think that I was entitled to what everyone else was entitled to. I thought I was entitled to less. Yeah, so not worth, it's what I am entitled to. Okay, so next interactions with healthcare providers. So there's good and bad with it. So I know when I'm been denied evidence based care. So I can fight back and ask for evidence based care. But I also know when I'm being denied evidence based care, and that feels bad. That doesn't feel fun. You know, when I look at my last doctor's visit, she said, Oh, yeah, so for this condition, lose weight. And I was like, I didn't say anything, because I know she just she just says says it offhand. She doesn't press it. But it was kind of like a little stab in the heart of she's not on my side, she doesn't understand she doesn't understand about fat politics. And that's really sad. And also, I can say, Wow, she doesn't understand about poor fat politics. She doesn't understand about weight science. And what she's saying isn't evidence based care. So what I'm going to do is have a look at what well, the evidence is, oh, turns out that you can't lose weight. Lalla Uh huh. Okay, I feel I'm back to my you know, feeling better. But then also feeling frustrated that the person who I talk to you about health doesn't understand about fat liberation, but at least I know now, whereas before, when I wasn't, didn't know anything about fat liberation, I would hear, you need to lose weight, and I would be on a diet right now. I would be on a diet or right now. Think about and the last eight years of being like being aware of fat liberation and anti diet, the amount of diets I would have been on in that time that I have not been on, and how beneficial that is for my, my health and my mental well being. Wow. But also, how frustrating it is to be prescribed diets, you know, any anything. Next I have increased confidence. So increased confidence around my body and general confidence. And so just an FYI, these are my experiences. Someone else who was discovering fat liberation may not have increased confidence, they might not experience any of these things that I'm experienced. So this is just my personal experience. Okay. So I now know that my body is not the problem. So before fat liberation, I was like, my body is a problem. If I just lose weight, then I will be okay. But the problem is actually the way that society views my body and other people's bodies. That is the problem. And so that new way that shift of thinking has helped me advocate for myself, and generally feel better about who I am as an individual. And I no longer casually accept shit, because I feel shit. So before or it was like I was colluding with the system of oppression. I was colluding with anti fatness. And I was on like, the other side of the table with anti fatness and, you know, another version of Vinny was on the other side and I an anti fat notice, like, look at that body want to ugly piece of shit. And I was like, Yeah, Taliban, they are disgusting. They need to lose way. And you know, the other version of Vinny is like, Okay, I'm sorry. Whereas now I'm sat with other version of Vinny, on the side of myself. And if that bias is still on the other side, saying you're a piece of shit, you need to lose weight. Whereas I'm, they're able now to say, No, fuck off. So I was colluding with anti fat bias previously, now I'm fighting it. And because of that, that has increased my confidence. Because I know that I am not the problem. It is all these systems of oppression that is the problem. Which, you know, knowing that is really fucking annoying, right? Because at least when I was the problem, I could fix it, quote, unquote, I could fix it. I couldn't. But I could, I had control. If I just did this, I just ate less if I just exercise more, if I just became smaller, then everything will be fixed. And that was very black and white thinking. Now, this, this shades of gray. I will show you the gray. Don't you just want to yes, no. Easy peasy left, right. Good, bad. Oh, it's so annoying having to use critical thinking skills. Oh, God, I just just just not. But yeah, unfortunately. And fortunately, that's not the case anymore. So relationships, all of my relationships are with people who don't fat shame. Many of my relationships are with people who are actively fat positive and anti diet. No, one person in my life is that person that I'm like, Oh, God, here we go. This person is talking about blah, blah, blah. I do not have those people in my life anymore. And that is a massive level of privilege that I have because I was able to remove myself from those people. Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you don't want to sometimes it's complicated. You know, say if you're dependent on someone for for housing, or for income or for support or whatever, and that also a raging fat phobe, you might not be in the position to be like, get the fuck outta here, loser. Because you might die. You know? I'm I mean, the result is, you know. And so that comes with a ton of privilege me saying that. And also recognizing a lot of hard work that I've gone through to get there. Because when I started out on the this journey eight years ago, absolutely no one in my life was fat positive. No one anti diet new way. Pro diet, yes. Because I was pro diet and a lot of my friendships were built on talking about the opposite of what I talk about now. And I realized that that was not sustainable. And so either I set boundaries, and those people accepted those boundaries, or they didn't, or I had difficult conversations, or they just drifted from my life. Or here's the really awesome thing. They too then became fat positive. Obviously, I have family and