In this episode, I am going to show you how to recognize the Christian Female covert narcissist in as little as five seconds, and give you a simple discernment test for spotting her quickly without the guilt, confusion or gaslighting. And I'm gonna give you three clues to watch for the moment she opens her mouth, and trust me, Trait number five explains so much of what you've probably felt but just couldn't name. Let's go ahead and dive in. Trait number one is that gentle act that keeps her on top. She brags about always being broken, but somehow always ends up on the pedestal. She speaks softly, prays eloquently, and calls herself the worst of all sinners, all while making sure that you know how much she fasts, serves and sacrifices. It sure sounds spiritual, even supportive, but you leave the conversation feeling small, not seen. And this is number one performative humility. It is a curated act of brokenness designed to appear holy, all while keeping her in control. Phrases like I'm just praying God keeps me humble, and it must be hard for you. I remember when I was in that season. It's not about lifting you up, it's about keeping herself one step above and in Christian circles, this false humility really flies under the radar and sadly, fools many in leadership, but behind the meek tone is manipulation, not ministry. So ask yourself this, do I feel uplifted after spending time with. Are or subtly put in my place. Trait number two can best be described as controlling the narrative without raising a voice. She never throws the first stone, but somehow you're the one buried beneath the rubble. She doesn't yell or confront instead, she gathers quiet sympathy and spins a subtle story where you're always the problem, and she's always grieved. You never see the smear campaign coming because it's wrapped in spiritual sadness. This, my friend, is number two, weaponized victimhood. She plays the wounded one to avoid accountability and maintain power. And her go to phrases I was only trying to help. I guess I just care too much. Why is everyone always against me? And behind them are a carefully crafted martyr image where she is bleeding and somehow you're the one holding the knife and she'll show you just enough pain to keep her Halo polished and to keep you in check. So ask yourself, this, does she take ownership when she's wrong or always end up the one needing comfort? Trait number three is scary in that the quietest person in the room might be the most controlling. See, she doesn't demand power. She guilt trips her way into it. She's soft spoken, maybe even sweet, the kind of woman others admire for her servant's heart. But her control doesn't come through volume. It comes through silence. And this is number three, manipulation in disguise. Instead of confronting, she uses guilt like a weapon. I would never do that to you, but it's okay that you did it to me. I forgive you. She plays passive aggressive, I guess I'm the only one who cares. Or she withdraws with silence that leaves you anxious and apologizing. You end up second guessing everything and tiptoeing, explaining, trying not to upset her. But it's not peacemaking, it's control wrapped in charm. She controls the room without raising her voice, just enough guilt, sadness and vague disapproval to make you question your every move, and the more unsure you are, the more in control. She becomes so ask yourself this, do I feel free to speak with her, or am I constantly walking on eggshells? Trait number four can best be described as holy in public, hurtful in private. She doesn't Chase holiness. She curates it. She knows how to perform, hands lifted high in worship, prayers that sound like sermons, kindness on display, so long as people are watching. But behind closed doors, her tone sharpens, she withholds affection, gives the cold shoulder and flips into silent punishment if you don't play along. Yes. Number four, she's highly image conscious. She's not chasing Christ likeness. She's chasing admiration. And in Christian spaces, this trait is extremely dangerous. She looks like the Proverbs 31 woman, but lives like control. Is her God. She may lead, serve, give and fast, but it's not to honor God. It's to build her brand. And what seems like humility is actually a carefully managed image. What seems like righteousness is spiritual manipulation in disguise. So ask yourself, this is her public faith consistent with her private fruit, or does something shift based upon who's watching? Trait, number five can be best seen in how she deals with concern. You see, she doesn't confront, she recruits, she divides to control, not to resolve. Ever walk into a group and feel tension, but have no idea why. That's the wake of a covert triangulator, the Christian Female covert narcissist will use number five triangulation disguised as concern. She won't bring her issues to you instead she shares or processes or asks for prayer in a way that subtly paints you as the problem without ever saying your name. Please don't say anything. But I'm just concerned about how she treated me. I'm really praying for her. I hope you do too. She seems off lately, and it sounds holy, it sounds humble, but it is calculated. She's not seeking help. She's recruiting emotional loyalty to keep control while looking squeaky clean instead of resolution, she plants seeds of doubt. Now others start to treat you differently, and you're left confused, isolated and misunderstood. This isn't a personality quirk, my friend, it is a spirit of division operating through subtle manipulation, and in Christian circles, it is often spiritualized as a. Wise counsel or discerning concern. Well, Proverbs 1628, reminds us a perverse person stirs up conflict and a gossip separates close friends. So ask yourself this, does she come directly to you with her concern, or does she go to others and say she's praying for me instead? And Trait number six can be best seen when you're doing better than her or having something that she wants. She doesn't clap when you shine. She critiques from the shadows. Her secret envy dressed as discernment. She won't openly compete, nah. She's too humble for that. Instead, she drops compliments with a twist. She's gifted. I just hope she stays grounded. She's confident, maybe too confident for someone in ministry. She's bold. But is that really from the Lord look, it all sounds spiritual, but it's sabotage. This is number six. It's covert competition. This is envy cloaked in concern, a subtle power struggle, hidden behind soft smiles and spiritual language, and you'll notice that she shines more when you're dimmed. She offers faint praise, but just enough to sound nice, but still leave a sting. She subtly discredits you to others, positioning herself as the truly humble one, and in Christian spaces, she may do this under the banner of discernment, when really she just can't handle not being the center of attention and admiration. She doesn't want to be godly. She wants to be more godly than you, and if that means twisting your light to protect her own insecurity. She'll do it without flinching. James 316 reminds us where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice to detect her quickly. I want you to ask yourself this, does she celebrate other women wholeheartedly, or does she always find a way to spiritually knock them down a peg. Trait number seven is like emotional control. Without saying a word, she doesn't slam doors, she closes hearts, she won't raise her voice, she just goes quiet, withdraws emotionally, spiritually or physically. She shows up, but not really. The room feels colder. The texts feel empty. You feel it, you can't name it, though, that's the point, because number seven, she punishes with silence. She withholds presence, affection and warmth, forcing you to chase her, Chase peace, apologize or over explain, just to get her back and when you call it out, well, I just needed space, or I didn't want to say something I'd regret. Look, my friend, this isn't self control. It is a power play, an emotional punishment masked as maturity. And while proverbs 2911 is true, a fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. The female, covert narcissist will use the verse to justify silence. But true wisdom doesn't manipulate. So ask yourself this when she's upset, do we resolve it? Or do I end up begging for connection again, or having to wait out her silent treatment? Trait number eight, she cloaks control in Christian language. God told me you were in rebellion. I've been praying and I felt led to correct you. Is that really how God would want you to behave? But what she calls discernment feels more like a spiritual spanking and superiority, and that's because she uses number eight spiritual language to control you. Walk away feeling small, confused and slightly ashamed, like God must be on her side, even her encouragement has a sting. God must be teaching you surrender. You're strong for doing this without guidance. I used to be that independent, too. It sounds gentle, but it positions her as above you, always wiser, always closer to God, always more surrendered. But Psalm 28 three warns us about these people. They speak peace with their neighbors while evil is in their hearts. So ask yourself, this, does her advice lead me closer to God or deeper into doubt and dependence on her Trait number nine can best be described as the way she rewrites the past with a verse and a smile. She undermines your reality. All in the name of God. You bring up a boundary. She quotes unity. You express pain. She questions your discernment. You confront truth. She says, I don't remember it that way, but I forgive you. This isn't miscommunication. It is number nine. It is holy gaslighting where your clarity is twisted into confusion and your pain becomes rebellion. And this isn't just gaslighting where your reality is brought into question. This is where you walk away questioning your memory, your motives, and even your walk with God. It's not just psychological it is spiritual warfare. Despite. As discipleship, but Isaiah 520 warns us, woe to those who call evil good and good evil. So ask yourself this, do I feel more confused and less confident in my discernment after every conversation with her, my friend? I hope you are starting to see this is an exceptionally dangerous woman, and I don't care that she hides behind the title of Christian, God has warned us on numerous occasions to watch out and avoid such people. So how do you really spot her before the bite? Here are three subtle but powerful clues to watch for, and they often show up in the first few minutes of an interaction. Number one is tone. Her tone doesn't match the moment. Her voice may sound sweet or soft or overly spiritual, but something feels off. It's not true gentleness, it's emotional theatrics. Have you ever been greeted by a female covert narcissist? You likely got that overly sweet sing songy tone, my friend, that's the dead giveaway. Why? Because it's all a facade. And number two, the timing That's too fast and too familiar. She skips right over boundaries and jumps into connection, fast friendship, partnership or leadership, she can't leave time for you to see the real her. And number three, you'll see tantrums in disguise when things don't go her way, she may scream, she may sulk, sabotage or spiritualize her withdrawal, or you may just get the more difficult to challenge silent treatment with those subtle jabs. But make no mistake, when things don't go her way, there's you know what to pay understanding the traits of this incredibly wicked woman is crucial. But if you want to learn the three signs that God is actually trying to remove someone from your life, go ahead and check out this episode next, and don't forget to grab a copy of your free narcissist Survival Guide, I'll go ahead and include a link in the description box below you.