I had the perfect Zinger to stop people in their tracks, tracks. You know, that's cool. kind of expecting maybe at this stage, you know, it's unrealistic. And it's, it's probably not helpful for you to expect that you're able to go into battle when you're kind of just kind of finding your feet in this area. So if you're, if you're newer to this, you're maybe you're finding your feet. And even if you've been doing this stuff longer, you might also not be used to communicating your feelings and thoughts. And also, even if you if you are used to, this is like, potentially high stakes business, right? You know, you're sitting around the lunch table with your colleagues, and they're like, Oh, my God, I love cucumbers up the bum. And if you say, Hey, by the way, that's not cool. You know, what are the consequences, you could lose relationships, you could lose your job, you could be ostracized, you could, you know. And so, there's many reasons why this stuff is difficult. And if you choose you want to do something or say something, then that's great. And if you want to and stumble in the moment, that's normal, you know, because when we are confronted with this stuff, our bodies are probably having a reaction. And the reaction could be that your heart is beating faster, perhaps you're breathing quicker, because your heart is beating faster, and your body is like we are in danger. And your brain is not thinking, right? Okay, let's go into the back catalogue of all the research, I know about fatness and Health at Every Size and intuitive in eating and let's come up with a real perfectly well formed sentence, your brain is like, we're in danger, get out of here, just, you know. So you're not in the best stead, is what I'm saying. But saying all that it's a practice, right to practice, practice. And I want to give you some ideas. So with boundaries, not everyone can set boundaries, nor is it always appropriate, you know, I'm talking about the power imbalance, if you're not safe, for whatever reason, it might not be appropriate for you, there could be you know, that power imbalance as your boss. So if you're in a relationship where that person has more power, say, they are the one who earns money, and by disagreeing with them, you know, that they're volatile. And so it's not maybe appropriate in that circumstance. And there's lots of others too. And the other thing is, people have known you potentially, for years, as someone who loves a little bit of diet or, and so it's gonna take time for people to get used to you having new rules and guidelines in your life. Because hopefully, this is going to be a lifelong journey, right? And maybe in the past, you've gone on diets, and it's been a kind of, you do it and you're excited, and then the diet fails, and then you're less excited. And then maybe there's a new diet, and you're excited, and it fails. And so so maybe people are used to you having kind of new things that you're excited about, and maybe they're not taking it seriously that this new thing that you're excited about is something that's going to be for the rest of your life. And so then maybe they're not taking your boundaries as seriously because of that, but we need to help folks understand that no, we are serious about this and it's forever and the way that we do that is with our words and our actions. So my favorite way to get people to stop talking about things that I you know, diets or anti fatness in front of me that my favorite piece of advice is, Hey, friend, family member person, I love person I care about. I don't know if you notice, but I've actually started learning about intuitive eating, anti fatness, whatever. And I've recognized that when people talk about diets, anti fatness, whatever, that it's, it can be a trigger for me. And so I'm wondering if I can have your help with something. Sometimes, you know, starting with, I'm wondering if I can have your help with something. You know, people who love us are like, yes, I'd love to help you with something. Can you avoid talking about XYZ? Or can you not talk about XYZ while I'm around? Now that's one way that we can do it making it about ourselves. And the way the way the reason why I like this is because when we're asking someone to change behavior, Avior it can be very difficult for them because they might hear, you're a bad person, you've hurt me, You've ruined my life, your fault, you're responsible for the way that I feel about myself, right? And, and then that can be difficult for them to listen and hear and understand what's going on. Which is, you know, them problem. But for me, when I'm framing it about me and the fact that I want to achieve this goal, and I'm wondering if they can help me achieve this goal, it's not about how they have fucked up. It's about what I've noticed me, and what makes it difficult for me to love and accept myself. Now, people might might be like, you know, fuck you, blah, blah, blah, oh, you might find that, that that's disempowering for you to say, you know, hey, I've got, I'd like you to help me with something. And that's okay, too. You can say something else, right? And so whatever words used to describe to say to that person, can you stop talking about this thing? And they say, yes, they say, Oh, I'll try. They'll say, no. That is great information for you, whatever they say, is information on what you are going to do next. If they say no, okay, well, we know where we stand. And, you know, for me, it would be unfortunately, I can't continue this relationship with you, or unfortunately, I can't see you as much or, unfortunately, I'm going to have to cut you off if you do start talking about it, or whatever. Depending on what type of relationship you have. If they say, I'll try, but it'll be so hard, then you can have a conversation of, okay, well, what would be helpful for when you do slip up for me to say, and so you've already got that kind of pre pre agreed of, you know, that you're gonna say, Oh, don't forget, we talked about this or whatever? And if they say, yes, great, I might also have that conversation too. Because if they say, yes, they're probably good, you know, they're a human being, they're probably gonna forget, right? And then when they do then forget and say something, which is unlikely, unlikely thing to happen, you can decide kind of like, what amount of tolerance Do you want to give? We don't want to be the thing is here, we we need to have a level of, of standing our ground, right. And that is where boundaries fall apart, is that there is no standing of ground when someone says that it will. So this is what happens if someone says, Yeah, I've set boundaries. I've told my my mum not to talk about my body, but she keeps doing it. And then I say, okay, so what do you do when she does keep doing it? Nothing. And then I'm like, Ah, okay, and it's inappropriate that your mom still talks about your body. But also, this is kind of like a new education thing for for your mom, you know, your mom's known you as this person and known how to talk to you for X amount of years. And so we need to then be reinforcing our new boundary by saying, Hey, you remember I said about this or by doing whatever could be that you're going to leave the room, it could be that you're going to end the conversation, it could be that you're going to decide not to talk to them for an X X amount of weeks. It could be that you end the relationship, whatever it is, that feels good for you, you know, but if we're not following it up with something, then that is where we're going to fail. Right? Because you're serious about this right you are serious about this. This is not acceptable. And we have to keep helping people understand that it is not acceptable by how we react when they mess up which they probably will because they are a human being so in my life I've set boundaries and it was very difficult for me because I was slash am probably still a massive people pleaser and terrified terrified to to say anything to state my needs because I thought people would just you know, flip a table and be like, Fuck you, you're dead to me. You know, even if it was like, Hey, can you take your shoes off at the door? Never like what? take my shoes off. That would just be way too high stakes. And so you know, I couldn't go in with a Um, hey, here's these big huge boundaries with big important people in my life, I had to go in with, you know, the easier things like, Hey, do you think that you could take your shoes off?