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S2E3 Gather At The Well: Hold Fast + Staying Steady When You Need it the Most | Otter.ai

S2E3 Gather At The Well: Hold Fast + Staying Steady When You Need it the Most

Sabrina Li29min

Lindsey Fuller

00:00

Welcome back to a special episode with the teaching well, and We Are For Good at gather at the well. We are centering the concept of holding fast, staying steady when you need it the most. It goes beyond the nice thought of navigating uncertainty to more of the practical realities. What are some strategies that can keep me embodied inside of my inner knowing

Lindsey Fuller

00:24

and resilient in these challenging times before we jump into content. I'm hoping to get you a little bit more grounded. I don't know about you, but sometimes it feels like the rug is being pulled from under me every day, and I don't even have carpet in my house, but I feel like I could fall at any moment, and that's a somatic state, right? Feeling like so much is moving and things are so uncertain. But let's ground a little bit, and if you can't access an inner reserve of fortitude, remember that we have tools around us that can support you. Might take a moment as we get settled in for this episode, to search around you. Maybe you have a weighted blanket. I highly recommend lap weighted blankets. I got my team three pounders. They're a tiny square that you can put on your lap, but you might also find a heavy book near you. If you're driving and your purse has too many snacks in it, go ahead and set that on your lap. We want to create the sensation of a little bit of weight right in your middle space. You can place it on your belly or on the top of your thighs. And as you get comfortable stacking your vertebrae, adjusting in, you might close your eyes, lower your gaze, or stare off into the horizon if you're behind the wheel, just anchoring in three deep breaths here, audible. Exhales, seeing if you can lengthen each breath that follows the next,

Lindsey Fuller

02:19

and as you resume a regular cadence for your breath work, really zooming in on the portion of your body that has additional pressure or weight, noticing the sensation of stillness, of almost tethering your legs to the seat, distributing the weight across, creating more balance and stability. Seeing if you can visualize pulling some of that stability up or down or out. So if it's on your thighs, you might imagine the grounding cascading over your knees and down to your feet, further, pushing them into the ground. Or perhaps you're able to source up, slowing your chest, imagining the weight is creating heavy arm sensation, maybe even pushing the palms of your hands into the chair you're here in this moment you're holding Fast. Stay with us. Another deep breath here, big exhale. We are here. It's time to jump in. So what does it mean to hold fast? Things are rapidly changing every day. We're logging into social media. We're watching the news, a colleague, a friend, or your nervous bird parent, is hitting you up and sharing more bad news, more change, more people impacted, and it is a lot we can't change that. It just is. But when you hold steady and you're able to do what's right. There's a power in being steadfast. In sports, it might be going back to the basics, as my husband says, honing in on your form. It's moving the initiative to the finish line. Spiritually, it might be staying strong in faith, even when trials arise. I like to think of myself as unmovable around my morals, my why, my passions, my purpose. That doesn't mean that I'm resistant to feedback or accountability or development, but it means that I am. Unmovable on the core principles that guide me every day in life, it's staying disciplined, even with so many temptations. Recently, I've been studying concepts of procrastination, Doom, scrolling and perfectionism, and so much of the framing creates shame and almost a negative form of self awareness that makes us feel like we're broken. We're doing something wrong, we're not enough, we're the problem. But really, I've been reflecting and reframing that all of these behaviors are interruptions to your socio emotional processing and focus. They're behavior cues that let you know you're feeling dysregulated and trying to recenter, they restrict you from feeling the full array of emotions, the discomfort and pain that often accompany uncertainty or chaos. But for me, holding fast somatically is the warm caress of critical hope, soothing my nervous system to me, holding fast and centering that desire says inwardly, it's okay. You've got this. You know what to do. Keep going concretely. Holding fast means revisiting your mission and not compromising on practices or traditions or rituals that you know cultivate joy or connection for your staff. Don't abandon what works. It means seeking feedback opportunities on whether your values are living your policies are consistent and your outcomes are measurable. Sometimes it's doing a tactical exercise. We call it, keep, stop, start. Sometimes we have to drop work lines. It's not feasible. We don't have it. It's not yielding the success. The output is too high, the cost is too great. We're going to hold fast to what we know is working and making the greatest impact. When I think back to some of the more anxiety provoking moments in college, it's taking a test and not knowing until you receive the grade if you bombed it, or if you be stood sometimes in that middle space. It can feel like rehearsing a worst case scenario over and over again in your head before it's even happened. And for me, across my professional life, it was not succumbing to the gas lighting or micro management of a workplace abuser, right? I've had to hold fast in the face of folks who maybe perceived me as a threat, for whom I wasn't their ministry, for whom they thought, you know, we can't control her. I just saw this thing on LinkedIn, this concept of from pet to threat, and all of that is a distraction away from the good work, the good trouble, your strongest purpose last year at the teaching well, and this is some tea. It's loose leaf, organic, of course. But was a challenging year, not because we weren't scaling successfully, making really meaningful partnerships, growing closer as a team, but because it was the first year that we received no new funders. Shout out to our philanthropic partners, because 100% of our funders have renewed for the last two years. But we actually got no new funders if you're in a nonprofit or if you're in philanthropy, even if you're in a school that's repeatedly applied for grants and not got them. It is a blow. It can really put you in a place of desperation, and it can shake your foundation. Are we as dope as we think? And I don't mean that in a ego centered way. I just know that I have the most phenomenal team, and the results we're getting are measurable. So it was really disheartening when we found ourselves, time and time again, getting so close and not actually getting that yes, that was potentially a moment where I could have decided to scrap everything, redefine our program lines, right, throw everything out, reinvent the wheel and innovation is important. But in moments of uncertainty, holding steadfast to who you are, really knowing your brand, accepting your lane, and thriving inside of it, is critical. So instead to hold fast. What we did last year was we decided to continue to implement and refine the key programs that we knew were central to our mission. We doubled down on stewarding those who had already joined the movement, as supporters, as clients, as funders, as donors. I didn't stop developing. My team, because I knew that the next opportunity that would come, because they always come, would require us to skill up, to hone our strategies to ensure we were confident enough in composting any imposter syndrome to rise when the invitation came. We leaned towards coalitions and community networking because we knew that the next phase requires like minded warriors by your side. The truth is, you've always made a way. You always persevere, and we need to act like we know it. So let's take a little moment for an additional somatic just in case, my share about our funder situation got you sweating, we're going to play with a little bit of bilateral stimulation, which is an awesome way to anchor you in moments of unrest. To do this at a very simple level, you're looking to take your hands or your feet and move them in a rhythm, accessing both the left and right side of the body. To do this, you might put your hands on your thighs, or you might decide to leverage your feet this time, lifting them and placing them down one side at a time. I love the Mariposa. I don't know I said it that way. I added a whole different accent. I love the Mariposa. Shit. Hold on, wait. I love the mariposo practice, which essentially crosses your arms in front of your body, placing your palms on both of your upper arms and just tapping one side. So join me, you might close your eyes again if it feels good, or concentrate on an image or an item in your space that brings you joy, slowly beginning to tap, breathing. Long enough to tap each side and exhaling even longer, seeing if you can get three or four taps in with your out breath and

Lindsey Fuller

12:22

you might even increase now to your in breath, taking four and your out breath moving to six.

Lindsey Fuller

12:38

You might say to yourself, or just listen to my voice saying, Hold fast, stay steady. Don't self abandon and don't jump outside of your lane. This is the time when consistency matters. Rotate your shoulders back and drop them from your ears, and let's dive in a little bit further. When I think about creating more balanced stability and creating a collective source of resilience, not just that individual level, I think a lot about the systems and structures that ensure that the team stays aligned. We've all been in that situation where you get into a meeting and a teammate is deeply dysregulated, they might come in agitated, drop down into the seat, making a bunch of noise, smacking their notebook or computer down on the table, huffing and puffing and maybe even in tears. And we have compassion for that person, and also their mood, their vibe is palpable, or maybe you primarily meet in zoom and you still can see someone fluttering their camera on and off. They're clearly multitasking and scrambling to get organized that's just at the individual level, demonstrations of dysregulation, of overwhelm, of really being uncentered. So what do you do to create the conditions for your team to actually stay together? Stay focused, especially during periods of rapid change. I want to offer you a little bit of a framework based on the calendar year, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual invitations. And this is just what we do in the teaching well, doesn't mean you need to do it. Doesn't mean it's right. It's what works for us. So weekly. And y'all have heard me talk about this before. Every Monday morning we start with a weekly sync. 10am all four directors come together. We make sure we are aligned, calibrated, that we are clear on the priorities of the week of the month, that all of us are not siloed, and that if there there's interdependent. Which there always is or overlap in program streams that we're clear and we can collaborate with ease and purpose. And then to book end the week on Fridays, there is an alignment email that sent to the entire team in it. It recaps, celebrations, things to be mindful of. It has a portion that looks ahead to the next week and reminds folks if there are teammates that are going to be off the floor, or if there are additional support needs. It also shares transparently the internal PD feedback from that week. It lifts the veil. It lets everyone know we're moving in unison. We're on track. We're collectively holding important topics. There's a mindfulness that is not centered on one person, but is centered and held by the collective. At the monthly level, we do org updates the first week of every month in internal PD, that's where we transparently share about our budget, our sales, innovations, projects and development, and also org team updates and anything else that's really significant for the team to be able to digest. It keeps us aligned, and they know what the directors are holding. It, lifts the veil and lets them consent into being a part of the solution, not romanticizing the problem, or taking a passive seat and hoping the directors figure it out. We can't be upset as leaders if we don't invite folks towards problem solving. We also, on the monthly level, do soup sync, where all supervisors in the org come together and make sure that we are calibrated quarterly. If you follow me on LinkedIn, you already know what's up. Directors are in person for 48 hours every quarter, without fail, we don't go more than three months without getting all four directors in the same space, to do strategic planning, collaboration, scaling work, and to really just make sure that anything that has been stagnant in the last three months we're able to disrupt, get some positive momentum and push forward. And then at the annual level, of course, we do strategic plans and board retreats. I really want to speak to this, because when I got here at the teaching well, and even before in other roles in schools and districts, there can be so much pressure to have a three or five or 10 year strategic plan. If that works for you, dope, I think even in truth, I was chasing that concept, oh, by year five, I'll have a five year. And what I've realized is actually things are not the same year over year. I don't know what type of dystopian world we are in right now, but it didn't start in January. For me, it felt that way starting in 2020 the COVID 19 pandemic and the dual pandemic of systemic racism coming to a head and boiling over fundamentally changed the way that we operate professionally, personally and as providers. And so the effort, the lift, the push, the pressure, the perfectionism of establishing a multi year plan again, if it works for you, bless that. But for me, what I'm finding is a really solid, rigorous annual strategic plan helps us to remain adaptive and responsive without being so rigid that we aren't able to duck, move, weave and stay nimble in the face of change. As a final little push here, I want to say it can be challenging. I just named a bunch of meeting structures. So if you're feeling overwhelmed or where to start, I would say, dial into a central communication opportunity that occurs on a more regular cadence. Maybe it's where your staff gathers, but it's where your staff gathers, at their well, at your orgs. Well build in predictable, sustainable cadence of invitations towards unity. These are activities that can be useful and integrated into your meeting, openings and closings. Think of it as your lesson plan for a team. Socio emotional learning activity. These moments can look like revisiting a key resource related to your values or mission or catalyzing culture with an inspirational experience that celebrates their contributions and reminds them of their ultimate why it's your job as a leader and it's your job as a teammate, to advocate for space to connect, for space to breathe together, for space to re anchor in your values, your mission and your vision, and that should be in a more regular space if you do nothing else, take a look at your meetings. Are you just jumping in? Is it business? As usual, or are you creating authentic opportunities for connection and humanity? Let's take an additional somatic break just to pause this. One's called a gaze stabilization and in moments of uncertainty, in times of rapid change, this is a practice you can use to really clear your vision, to enhance balance, coordination, and to support yourself with feeling focused and attuned to the next step. To do this, you might get comfortable in your seat, or if you'd like to stand, I welcome that as well. To do this, you're going to keep your eyes open, and you're going to be looking in three directions. Now, you don't want to do this too quickly, because that will cause a dizzy spell, but you might gaze over to the right, find an object to stare at. I'm gonna layer in an additional inhale with a rising shoulder. Exhale drop the shoulders. Next I want you to gaze in front of you. Find an object, a color or a texture that captures your attention again, inhale, rise shoulders. Exhale, drop shoulders. And finally, you can look to the left, identify an object. Take a moment to gaze and take in the details. Deep breath, shoulders rise, exhale, shoulders drop. You can pause this recording as many times as you need and repeat right, center left. Or if you want to be fancy, flip it and go in the other direction, but just in moments where you feel there's too much going on. Or for me, when I'm feeling called to doom scroll, I might instead take in all that's around me, the beauty, the memories, the sensations and allow my nervous system to recenter.

Lindsey Fuller

22:29

This practice allows you to recenter your inner ear. So if you are suffering from somatic overwhelm, nausea or dizziness, it allows you to gaze with intention, slowing down each moment and sending that balanced energy from the inner ear all the way through your nervous system to hold fast. There's so much noise around us, and what we do not need is more thought leadership, more ideas, more feedback or more advice. Sometimes we have 567, coaches with one principal, it's too much. The key is to look inside and figure out how you can access your own inner knowing. So of course, I recommend strategies like journaling, goal setting or creating intentions daily, returning to them. When you feel uncertain of your priorities, you already externalize them, stay steady, you might want to get into the work. What I mean by this is when I was an administrator and I was responding to behavior all day long, or navigating parents who were upset working to coach some of the teachers that were still growing in their classroom management or instructional practices running around. I just gave up on heels. At a certain point, all my heels were shredded on the concrete, and I wore sneakers I would get into the work when I realized I felt dysregulated by returning to a kindergarten classroom. It's like herding cats, but you can't go wrong with tiny humans that are filled with joy, positive outlooks and ridiculous sayings. So find the thing that brings you joy in the work, if it's visiting the program team or meeting with a board member that just rides for you, connect with someone or something, or observe and immerse yourself in what will remind you of your ultimate purpose. Of course, we recommend somatics, reflection, meditation, prayer. You need to be with you. So those are some of the ways that we can quiet the noise. But there are moments of self care that are going to be needed. And if you know me and if you know our organization, we advocate for collective care just as much as self care, but both are needed and important. We love our somatics and healing modalities get in your body and find effective ways to self and CO regulate with others you. You need to be really mindful of the company you keep y'all. If you're constantly surrounding yourself with folks who vent, folks who are highly anxious about the budget or the news that constantly are checking their phone and sharing updates with you like a sports broadcaster that wasn't invited to the party, really be mindful of reciprocal relationships, because energy transfers, and this is an unsexy truth, but leaders, don't be surprised when you see a rise in personnel issues. When the world feels out of control, folks are dysregulated. You're not crazy. You are seeing it, you may be in that state as well, and it's normal for folks to revert to survival behaviors that don't always trend towards the collective in pro social ways. Make sure you're scheduling to allow for responsive actions inside your org and with your client work. If you're back to back, you will not be able to take those interventions seriously or sustainably, but ultimately, don't get in your bunkers just yet, fear drives us towards isolation when we really need to lean towards each other. A few affirmations that might support you in these times. I can hold fast. We will stay steady. I am resilient. My inner wisdom is powerful. I want to speak to the busy leader who feels the weight of their shoulders, or the staff member who sees their leader burning out, who rides for them and who knows that if the leader goes down, the team will be stressed in the next week. Really. I mean, open up your planner. Open up that Outlook calendar in the next week, I want you to find three ways to tend to self, one somatic, one self care and one social. So hold fast with yourself and hold fast with others. This might look like actually calendaring a 15 minute walk next week on a day that you see is packed for self care. It could look like you finally releasing some of those hoarded massage coupons. Go ahead and pull that gift card out and use it friend and for the social make sure that you're finding folks that are aligned, that just bring you joy, that doesn't have to be hard, where you don't have to hold space for them, right? But it is just reciprocal and good. You need it. You deserve it. If you're like me, you might also horde favor asking I want to wait for that special occasion to pay for a sitter or ask my family to watch my kids, but the special time is now. It's been a couple of months that have felt like years. Ask for help, state what's needed and then, and this is probably more for me than you don't waste it. It's the worst when I lay down for a nap and I Doom scroll, I come out of the room an hour and a half later and my family's like, do you feel arrested? And I'm like, oh, so be disciplined with your restoration. As our closing critical hope, I want to remind you that holding fast doesn't mean freezing. It means showing up as the change leader that you are, a leader with longevity leverages their resilience amidst chaos. Your ancestors overcame enormous obstacles, and look where you've gotten, you're a gift already. If you accomplished nothing else, you've already made a difference. So imagine what's possible. There's me tapping into critical hope. Check out that other episode. Treat yourself accordingly that you know you are doing the best you can and that you are getting positive results when we stand in our values and move with compassionate consistency, we actualize our missions. So hold fast, friends, stay steady. We've got this. I look forward to coming back to gather at the well soon you.

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