You were in the perfect place to hear about fat liberation and anti diet messaging, right? Perhaps you'd heard it before. And you took no notice or poo pooed it. It's like, certain steps in the puzzle had to be taken for it to be relevant to you. You know, like, Oh, what is that show? I was watching it in Ireland catchphrase, where they have all the puzzle pieces on the board and it's like a, this image and it'll be, it'll be a catchphrase. It's a catchphrase. And then there's puzzle pieces that will be revealed. And eventually, you're like, Oh, it's this but before you that final piece is revealed, you're like, I don't know what that is. And so, you know, there was another final puzzle piece was put into place and you're like, ah, fat liberation, anti diet, intuitive eating. That's what me. So, you know, perhaps you've been on 101 diets and diet 102 pushed you over the edge into looking into something different perhaps you had been in therapy for years and worked out blaming your fat body for how it looked was not working for you. And then you randomly saw a fat liberationist Anti diet message and it clicked, but say you were on diet 97 And someone came to you and said, Oh man, I have you heard of fat liberation. You might say I know more about nutrition than you. And if I just lose weight, I will be healthy. So the third stage is really getting into process profit profit. From I'm gonna break this down. Someone someone's listening, being proselytizing. profs will look tising proselytizing. Thank you. Thank you Google for breaking it down for me proselytizing, the third stage is proselytizing, about fat liberation, and hearing crickets and feeling dejected. Right. So you're excited you tell other people they're not excited, that might be like, go away. Maybe there is people who are excited, but you know, you're hearing critic, crickets are you hearing pushback and you feel dejected, annoyed and and perhaps angry or sad, because you can see the pain that they are in, you can see the path ahead, you know that if they just did what you told them to do? Or read that book or listen to that podcast, they would feel so much better? Why are they so stubborn? Right? And so the fourth stage is, is coming to the realization that people are our own that on their own path. And you can talk about what feels good for you, if they consent to advice. And you can set boundaries about what you want to hear what's acceptable for you to hear, like, you know, if you're someone's talking about how fatness is made them sick or whatever. But you can't actually force someone to do what you want them to do. I know I'm sorry, we can't force people to do what we want them to do. It's so sad. It's their own journey. Right? So you know, perhaps in the future, they'll see you happy intuitive eating, not Hating Your Body and think, hmm, maybe they're onto something, or maybe not. And maybe it's it's, you know, and you know, that can be painful. So sitting in that grief and pain and protecting your own well being is where a lot of people land. So basically, it sucks. It sucks. It's complicated. You know, I feel like I, I feel like, for me, what feels good is just living my life. And if people want to take that as an example of what not to do, or what to do, or what might feel good, then that's great, you know, but I can't force anyone to not be hit, you know, for to be hating themselves. I can't stop them doing that. And, you know, in the beginning, beginning of so I'd be like, say to people like hey, oh, you know, I've got his course and you know, or, you know, why don't you read this book, or, Oh, just you know, thinking, Ah, it's just gonna fall in place for them. But then they're not, they're not at that place. They might not ever be at that place. So. So I had had just have to look after myself, and also put boundaries. So to answer your question, Emma, which was how do you start educating someone who is fat and claims it's the reason for the health issues because fat phobic doctor told her they don't consent, then if they don't consent to education, it's not your place to do so. You can say things like, Would you like to hear about this resource that shows you how to treat XYZ without sticking around body size? And if they say no, then okay, no problem. If you ever want that, let me know. You know, if your mom says I need to lose weight, as my doctor says that's why my knees are sore. You could say I'm so sorry. You're experiencing that. I wish doctors would not blame weight on everything. There are treatments outside of losing weight that are helpful. Do you want me to send you a link? Or just I'm sorry, you deserve evidence based care. After, after the first time of asking if she wants your opinion about this? And she says no, don't keep like, saying, you know, keep keep keep on saying things because it could feel really badgering and it might push her away from a connection with you or from discovering this type of stuff. Just be there for her. And also set boundaries for your own well being because, you know, if she's talking about this a lot, I mean, for me, I you know, I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to deal with that long term. So, so yeah, so sorry, ama, kind of a complicated and not so perfect kind of answer. Yeah. Can't we just mind control people? Okay, next question. Hi, Vinny. I have a silly question. I'm considering a dual citizenship with Canada. And moving here. If it becomes unsafe for me to exist in my home country, the US have a but the idea of immigration medical exam kind of scares me because they mentioned weighing No, when I was I have a history of eating disorders, can you ask them not to weigh you? Or for a blind weighing? Also, feel free to share this question on an episode of UC field? Thanks in advance violence. Okay, so immigration processes can be discriminatory towards fat people. As far as I know, from my research, Canada is not one of those places. One of those places is New Zealand, in case you're curious. So my experience with the medical exam, bearing in mind is 10 plus years ago, is that I had a chest x x ray, than a doctor listened to me breathing and then talked about Malcolm Gladwell, the book that I was reading, to fill the time, it was really kind of like nothing. However, I did have a smaller body, then I was probably a small fat at that time. I don't remember being weighed, but they must have because in the the things in online, what it tells you about what they're looking for. It does say one of the first things that usually the first thing is a way you why fatphobia, but they are not looking at someone's weight as a reason to deny them. I was looking on people sharing their experiences. And no one said that weight was the criteria that they were denied for everyone who said that they had a very large body so that they got him. What they're looking for is communicable diseases. So things like tuberculosis, they might do, they might be looking for things like syphilis or, you know, other things that could affect other people. Or they're looking for if the if there is an excessive excessive demand from the healthcare system. And what they define that it is, is in 2023 $128,445, over five years, or 25,000 ish a year. Yeah. So to answer your question, I think they will have to weigh you, I would be hesitant to say, I don't want to be weighed because I have a history or history of eating disorder. Because I wouldn't want them to write that down. And I wouldn't want them to have any type of reason to be like, Wow, that's gonna cost us money. You know? So I would just be like, I don't want to see the weight. So when you get in, you know, if they say we weigh you just say, you know, can I not see the weight? And not mentioned why. And you know, that the whoever was is weighing you is probably going to be a massive decade if they say no, I'm gonna force you to fail. But then again, I don't remember being weighed, you know, but then again, I was I had a smaller body so it wasn't, maybe it wasn't that more dramatic. Maybe they, you do a self report. Wait, you know, in the waiting room, they're like, what's your height? What's your weight and all that type of stuff? What medications are you on? I just remember being like, in the room with the doctor being like, literally, this is so funny how little he is interested in checking my well being in you know, because I had to be a you have to take your clothes off and wear a gown. From what I remember because I remember being like this is so silly is literally just chatting to me about Malcolm Gladwell. I feel like this is a bullshit test, which is good which is fine for me, you know. So, anyway, next question.