142. Stop marketing to the assholes of your industry

Brooke Monaghan34min

Brooke Monaghan

00:00

Do you keep finding yourself feeling like you have to choose? You can either be authentic or strategic, you can prioritize what's sustainable for you right now, or strategies that will bring in quick money. You can prioritize doing the work, or you can prioritize rest? The answer is yes, then you are in exactly the right place. Helping online business owners create sustainable values aligned, impactful businesses is what I do. And I put together a free self guided workshop that's going to walk you through the five stages that I have observed, every single entrepreneur I've worked with move through on this journey so that you can first of all, figure out why you might be experiencing the challenges that you're experiencing at this phase in your business. Identify where you are in the process, and determine where to focus your energy to get to that next step in your business. Now, if you're thinking, another formulaic business training, don't worry, I am allergic to formulas. This training is intentionally designed to help you get clear on your own unique path forward so you can stop following other people's rules and start changing the game and your industry. If you want to start breaking the rules of business as usual, and build something that is impactful, sustainable, and align with your values, head to bit.li/no business rules to take the workshop that's bit.li/no business rules. You're listening to transcend your dichotomy, the podcast where we break the rules that say we have to leave ourselves behind in pursuit of success. I'm Brooke Monaghan and I created the show for purpose driven business owners. Together we'll talk about how to go for your goals have an impact, all while honoring yourself, your desires and your values.

Brooke Monaghan

01:46

Hey, everyone, today I am kicking off a month of marketing focused episodes, I'm excited to be bringing you some great conversations that I hope will offer you some different perspectives on marketing, how you can make it more sustainable, how you can actually stick to your marketing plan, how you can do it in a way that is aligned with your values, and ideas for marketing yourself that are different from what you might have already tried. So today, we're kicking things off with something I really think needs to be discussed. This is something that has been honestly, just like irritating me for many months at this point. And I think I'm finally ready to speak to it. I have been practicing what I preach a little bit from you're gonna hear me this is kind of a meta episode. This is dawning on me right now, I've been practicing what I preach and not just venting about things on my own marketing channels. And so I've allowed myself to process this and figure out what I actually can pass on as a piece of wisdom to you after intentionally practicing it myself before I speak to it. And so I'm ready to finally bring this to the show. And this is the way that you are using your marketing platforms. And being very intentional about who you were talking to and what you were talking about. On those marketing platforms. This is specifically relevant if you are someone who wants to change things in your industry. So this is why we're talking about this on the show. This is not typically a marketing podcast, per se. But it is a business podcast and as specifically a business podcast for folks who want to start doing things differently and creating change. And this is something that I have seen folks who fall in that category. Particularly fall into. So if you're seeing the way that things are being done, and you know that it's problematic, and you want to do things differently, then listen up. Now before I even get into it, I want to be very clear. I was this person and not that long ago. I also want to be clear, I am not giving you a blanket, don't do this and your episode, right? What I instead hope to do is give you a different perspective so that you can think about how you want to show up and make your own decisions. I'm going to share this here because I think that it is absolutely something that we need to be talking about. But it's not meant to just be like another rule for you, right? And I don't want you to have me and your head discouraging you. I instead want you to have me in your head, inviting you to think about things differently so that you can be a little bit more intentional about the way that you show up to your marketing because let's be honest, marketing takes a lot of energy. So if you're going to put the energy into it, I want to see you being really intentional about how you use that energy so that you can not pour energy into a form of marketing that is not really going to work that well for you. So whatever you decide to do with this information, know that this is not intended to be a rule for you to follow. It is instead intended to be another idea to think about and integrate into your own decision making. So let's just name the thing. You need to be clear about who you are talking to And what the purpose of your work is? What are you here to do? Who are you here to help? And what do you know how to help them with? How do you plan to help them? What is your expertise? What is the specific thing that you offer? If your content is directed at all of the shitheads in your industry, and not at the people who you are here to help, it might be time to rethink your marketing efforts are those people, the people who you want to be marketing to, if not, stop talking to them, and start talking to the people who you want to market your business to? Now, I'm gonna give you an example. And this is a real example. But I'm not going to name names, okay. And I highly, highly doubt that this person listens to the show. So if you're listening to this, and you're like, Oh, my God, this could be me. First of all, take it easy on yourself, I highly doubt it to you. Second of all, this is not to judge anyone, or to say that anyone is doing anything wrong, bad or otherwise. Now, there are elements that I'm going to share that I think are a problem. But again, I am trying to share this, to be illustrative and to be helpful for you not to make anyone feel bad. So please, if you're feeling defensive,

Brooke Monaghan

06:32

bear with me, and try to actively set that aside to just hear me out here. And I really, really highly doubt that I am talking about you, okay. Real example, not naming names. This is a person who I have plenty of respect for. I've never worked with them before. But I am sure that they're good at what they do. I'm sure that they know what they're doing all of that this person describes themselves as a trauma informed business coach. And I initially started engaging with their work because we were in complete agreement about what was going wrong in the business development world. And the fact that we really need to collectively change the way that we think about business, if we want to truly support people from different backgrounds getting into business for themselves and thriving as business owners like we were 100% on the same page. With that being said, every single piece of content that this person puts out, is basically them scolding all of the assholes in the business development world. And I'm not saying talking about them specifically and naming who they are and saying, This is why this is wrong. And breaking this down. I'm saying, looking at the camera. And speaking as though they are speaking to these problematic companies, these problematic business owners, these problematic marketing experts, all of their content is either that, or it is them talking about all of the things that if you're doing them in your own business are not trauma informed, and are harmful. Now fair, valid. True, I do not actually disagree with anything that they're putting out there. And if this person's goal was to get me to hire them, to be my trauma informed business coach, which is what they say they do, right, they are a trauma informed business coach would you would think that then their goal would be to get business owners to hire them to be their coach and to think about their trauma and understand how their trauma plays into their business. They have completely lost me. Why? Because they are not speaking to and supporting me. They are not providing helpful, valuable content that is going to support me or show me that they truly know who I am or care about me and understand what I am going through. As a person who already agrees with them, I get it. I get it on the same page. Instead, this is what they're doing. They're riling me up about how fucked up the business development industry is, and making me really fucking angry. They're reminding me of all of the people who I've actively removed from my orbit, because of the harm that they do. I do not engage with those people. I do not. I do not engage with people who use those kinds of tactics. And every time that I see this person's content, who agrees with me, I am now reminded of their bullshit. And they're making me honestly really self conscious about every single move that I make in my own business. If you are talking to me, and you're scolding them, I'm going to receive it as you scolding me? Because I'm the one watching the video. Now, here's what I'll say, it is on us as the people who are consuming content to discern when something is for you, and when something is not for you, which is why I have actively disengaged with all this person's content, because I have determined that their content is not actually for me.

Brooke Monaghan

10:24

It's not, it's for people who are actively causing harm in the business development world by using tactics that we determined long ago are harmful. This is not cutting edge stuff, right? This is like, Don't agitate pain points and don't use countdown timers when there isn't an actual deadline and don't lie like this is what we're talking about. We're talking about, don't tell people that everything's a mindset block when there's actually trauma involved, right? I'm not, so I'm not listening to your content anymore. Because I don't need to content, I don't need to spend my time being scolded for things that I'm not even doing. And here's the other part. And I want to be very explicit, this is specific to this instance, it's not going to be relevant to every situation where you're confused about who you're speaking to, and your marketing. So this is not like, the the point of this episode. Really, it's just another point that I want to name here. In this instance, if this person's trauma was actually actively like triggering me, I would hear it, and it would trigger all of my stuff around whether or not I'm good, which is what all of my trauma is linked to. And it scared me. I was suddenly scared, like, Oh, my God, am I am I doing something wrong? Like, am I do I not actually have the self awareness that I thought I did. I didn't think that I was doing these things. But I just keep hearing about those over and over and over again. And maybe I am doing that. And I made that mistake. Maybe I made that mistake one time. And that means this about me, right? It was like the they were signaling that they were on, like the good team. And everyone else who was listening to them was probably bad. And so therefore you should hire them because they have some level of self awareness that I don't have. That was the way that it was landing for me. Now. I don't think that I personally don't think that it was that it's on them to create content that is not going to trigger anyone, right? Like, I just don't know how that's possible. I think that there's always going to be things that you should be sensitive to it, you should give content warnings or trigger warnings wherever you can, we should absolutely be sensitive to it. But I ultimately put the responsibility on me to discern, like, what content I want to be consuming and what I don't and I'm perfectly happy to just not engage with this person's content. However, their personal view is that you should not ever play on people's trauma in your marketing. And in my opinion, I don't know that they're as aware then of how trauma plays out and, and in terms of marketing, as they think that they are, because that's exactly what they're doing.

Brooke Monaghan

13:31

It's exactly what they're doing. And I know, I have had so many conversations with people who are exactly like me in that one of our our top priority in our businesses is to not, is do things ethically, right, like, like using those kinds of tactics is just not even an option for us like it is a non negotiable to do things in a way that is ethical. And yet, from what I know, from the people who I'm in conversations with, we are the very first ones to sit there in agony going over all the things that we all the places where we might not have had the self awareness, or did we do something wrong, or you know, like, all of that self conscious, kind of doubting ourselves stuff. So that's not that little piece of it is not really like the point of this episode. So I don't want to harp on that too much. Personally, I don't even really know like what to do with that piece of information. I just think that it's interesting. Like I just don't know that it's possible to create marketing where you can really guarantee that no one is going to be that you're not going to be activating anybody, or that trauma won't come into it with anybody. I just don't really know that that's possible. So maybe that's another reason why, like, agree to disagree. And like, it's cool. Like, there are plenty of people who love this person's content and that's fine. But if I were to look at this person's marketing, here's what I would expect to see And I have no idea if this is true or not, because like I said, I've never worked with them before, I've never been on one of their programs. So I don't see what goes on in their programs. But I would make a very confident bet that this is the case, I would put money on the fact that this is the case, I imagine that they have a lot of folks who really care about taking amazing care of people who are terrified that they might be a bad person and not realize it, who are afraid that growing their business necessarily means that they are being an asshole who look to them. The person creating this content, this trauma informed coach, as a person who knows the rules about what is right and wrong in business, and who are coming to them not to be coached to grow their own business while having their own trauma considered and being supported in a way that is sensitive to that. But instead to be taught by this person, how to themselves be trauma informed, because they're worried that they might not be taking good care of other people. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, right? There are plenty of people out there who teach other people how to be trauma informed, it's a very, I think it's a very important field. Except that is not what this person does. It's not what they say they do. It's not what they call themselves. It's not what their skill set is in, I don't think they're a business coach right there. They're there to coach people in their businesses, and to do it in a way that is trauma informed not to train people to be trauma informed. Right. So this is a person who's saying they are trauma informed business coach who wants to support people from different backgrounds in growing a supportive business. And what I guess they're mostly doing is teaching caring people who come from a place of probably privilege, about how to be trauma informed, because all of their messaging is directed toward people who come from a place of privilege, who are harmful. And that is great. Assuming that it's this person's actual skill set, and that's what they want to be doing. But that's not what they say they do. And it's not what they say their skill set is. So I see a mismatch. And I see it everywhere. And I recognize how it used to be happening in my own content. So what does this mean for you, you need to get clear on what you are doing? Who are you trying to help? What are you trying to help them do? How do you help them do it? That is what you need to be clear on and your marketing needs to be intentional to align with those things? What are your people, the people who you are here to help? What are they thinking or feeling or experiencing? And what do they actually need to hear from you? How can you support them and educate them? Not unjust anything, but on what they should really be focusing on, which would be the solution, that to their struggle that you know, is a solution because you are an expert in that area.

Brooke Monaghan

18:32

Right. That's the thing to educate them on. So in this person's case, I'm using this person as an example. They are a trauma informed business coach, and they want to help people who have a history of past trauma, grow their business in a way that is supportive for them. Personally, I think rather than speaking to other business owners who have harmed that person in the past, they could be creating content directly to people who have a history of trauma, who are business owners about different ways that their trauma might be affecting their business growth, misunderstandings about that thing, so maybe they're blaming themselves rather than understanding that it's something that maybe came from past trauma, and how they can navigate it differently. I don't know that's just an example. I also think that they could just be creating content for business owners with a history of past trauma, that is just 100% Focus on pure strategies for you to grow your business in a way that is supportive for you. And when those people walk through the door, they get the bonus of having a person speaking to them who actually understands how trauma factors in like, I think that that's totally fine, too. So, that's just an example. But the point is, talk to your person Who are you trying to help talk to them please stop talking to other people. Stop using your marketing platforms as a place to just vent, it's okay to you can do whatever the fuck you want on your marketing platforms, I don't care. But what I'm saying is, if you are showing up as like, it's supposed to be marketing time, rather than just being something that you're doing just like for the hell of it, and you're counting it as marketing time. Don't use it to vent about your own stuff. Use it to talk to the people who you are here to help and have an impact on. Stop talking to other people. And also remember what you do, and speak to them specifically on that thing,

Brooke Monaghan

20:41

you don't need to talk about everything. So again, this is not about you're doing something bad, or you're breaking the marketing rules, or you're doing it wrong, that's not the point. The point is just that it's not intentional marketing. And you will end up attracting people who want something from you that you don't provide. Or you will start attracting people who want something from you that you don't provide. So you'll think that you have to provide that thing. And then you're going to end up providing a thing that is not your area of expertise, and it's gonna ding your confidence. Another thing that I see happen a lot. And once you see it, you cannot unsee it. So I am sorry, in advance. Welcome to my world, because now you're going to start seeing this everywhere. Here it is, people forget what they teach, or provide and just start talking about whatever it is that they're learning. And there's nothing wrong with sharing your own work. There's nothing wrong with sharing your own journey or your own wisdom, or letting people behind the behind the curtain or giving people insight into what you're learning. Absolutely, not totally fine. But what I don't want to see you do is go off on a tangent that really is not in your wheelhouse. Because it's confusing. And I don't have judgments about this. I do it too sometimes, why have 100% done this. And I still find myself doing it. But I also have learned to make a very conscious effort to remind myself to take what I'm learning and apply it to my own business, rather than taking what I'm learning, bypassing the application of it and just talking about it to other people. And so in your case, it might not be business stuff, right? Like if you're a in the health and wellness space, take what you're learning, and apply it to yourself for the sake of your own health. And then go and teach your people what you teach them. Rather than feeling like you now need to teach that thing to write. Again, it's not that it's bad or wrong. It's not that you're not allowed to. It's not that it's bad to be sharing your own work, absolutely do it. But I also want you staying in your wheelhouse. Because if you stay in your zone like of things that you are really fucking good at things that you are an expert at providing things that you are, you've already created methods or a process to help people through that, like, I want you to focus on that stuff, because that's the stuff that you can really deliver on rather than having to keep reinventing the wheel by always going in these different directions with the different topics that you're talking about. Because now you're you've gotten yourself into a position where you're using marketing channels to start talking about things that aren't actually in your skill set. It's instead something that you're excited about and can see the potential of which is great. But it's not actually what you do. Plus, if you just stay focused on focused on your own skill set, and the specific results and value that you are an expert at providing and take that information and apply it to your own situation, it's gonna get you a lot further than just trying to teach other people. Right. I put up a post years ago. And it was years ago at this point. But I still remember putting it up because I remember the way that it hit people and the responses that I got from people. And it was something along the lines of like, we know that you believe it enough to put it on your Instagram feed. But do you believe it enough to actually do it yourself? And that's what I'm talking about here. Before you post something, ask yourself if it's just meant for you, and you just need to do that thing yourself, because it's probably going to get you a lot further than just saying it to other people on Instagram. And I'll be honest with you. The reason why it took me so long to record this episode talking about this was because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't doing that myself and recording this episode, right. And so I have for the past several months been very intentional about making sure that I'm being super intentional in my marketing to talk about the specific thing that I provide and to the specific people that I provide it for. Because I was like am I just like realizing this learning and wanting to immediately do Teach it rather than applying it myself. But instead, what I realized was, oh, this is like really specific, actually, to the people that I serve. Right? So let me be very clear about what I'm saying here and maybe provide some examples. I am not a marketing expert, right? I have a shitload of marketing experience. At this point, I offer marketing related services in terms of like helping people clarify their message, etc. It's related to marketing. But really, when I'm providing marketing support, what I'm really doing is I'm coaching people in my own method of coaching, and we're just applying it to their marketing. I can talk marketing, but it's not really my thing. And yet, here I am talking about marketing. Right? So how is this different from what I'm suggesting, which is, like be very specific about talking about your thing? Well, in this case, I'm very clear on who I'm talking to, and why I said at the top of this episode, folks who are particularly interested in changing things in their industry, I see is very prone to doing this to start talking about or talking to the wrong person. Why? Because we are very focused on problematic people and what is wrong with their behavior. So if my job is to help values driven business owners change the game and their industry in a way that is sustainable values aligned and impactful, I need to let you in on what I'm seeing, and that is that you are going to burn yourself out marketing this way. Because you're not sending the message that you you are an expert in the thing that you do, you're instead sending the message, hey, DM me, and let's be pissed off together. And it's confusing if you keep talking about different things, because maybe you keep talking about the things that you're teaching, rather than the things that you actually, I'm sorry, the things you're talking about the things that you're learning, rather than the things that you're actually an expert at teaching or providing. It's really confusing. And I have found myself in this situation more than once, where there's a person whose content I love, and I actually have no idea what they do. Like, I don't know what they would expect me to hire them for. And then I go to their page or whatever. And I'm like, Oh, really, that's what you do. Like, you're a copywriter? What I'm confused, I had no idea right? Or, and I just pulled copywriter out of the air. I'm not thinking of an actual person when I say that I'm just using an example. So why is this happening? Because you're not remaining clear on your vision. And that happens to be the very first thing that I teach, when people come in to work with me, the approach to marketing that I teach in training camp is all about getting clear on who you are talking to and telling the truth. So this message that I'm sharing with you here, actually directly relates to the way that I teach sustainable marketing and sustainable business. And again, I'm not a marketing expert, but I am an expert at helping people build businesses in a way that is sustainable, values aligned and impactful. And marketing is a piece of that. Now, it would be different if I was binging a book on marketing, and identifying all of the ways that I was fucking up my own marketing. And then instead of making the changes myself, just started kind of regurgitating all of that information at you, despite the fact that it's actually squarely out side of my skill set. Or taking a course or a program. And I want to be clear, like I'm sitting squarely outside of my skill set, because I'm talking to you, I would be in that case, I'd be talking to you about things that I am explicitly not doing myself, and didn't know until right before I learned it, right? Or taking a course or a program and learning something new, that cracks things open for me. And suddenly deciding that what I want to do for other people is now this thing, because I'm excited about it, and I can see the potential in it.

Brooke Monaghan

28:53

The point is, stop abandoning your vision, you have been working at this, stay with it, stay with what you're here to do. Stop abandoning your people. Because if you don't get intentional about speaking directly to them in a way that is in your skill set, they are going to go elsewhere and there is a solid chance that they aren't going to get the benefit that they would have gotten from working with you. And let me give you an example for my own business. And what has been in my mind as I integrate this myself because again, I'm going to be open about the fact that this was me all I have done this so many times, like you watched me do this, right? So if I consider who my person is, this is a person who has strong values of integrity, who wants to do right by their people who wants to change things in their industry and values personal freedom. My job is not to talk shit about people who aren't supporting them. My job is not to tell them about all of the things that I'm doing in my own business, even though that can certainly sometimes be supportive, and there's nothing wrong with doing that. That's not my primary job, right? I can absolutely share that stuff in my content. I know people love that stuff. And that can even be a portion of my content plan if I wanted it to be, but it's not my primary job, right? My primary job is to support those people. So how can I do that, I can think about what they're struggling with, and how they're feeling. And give them what they need as a gift to support them. So for example, maybe words of encouragement that will help them see a new way forward. I just posted a post on my Instagram. Last week, as of the time that I was recording this, I'm pretty sure it was last week. And it was basically just like a little love note. Like I said, Hey, I want you to know that nobody knows some secret that you don't know, even the business owners who have been at this for a while who appear to be crushing it. They are they too, are getting overwhelmed. And they're fumbling over things behind the scenes. And they're fine, finding themselves overthinking and questioning everything. And you have to call and support to keep them moving. And I went on and on not. And I basically was just saying like, you're not alone in this right. And ultimately, I ended it with like, it's important to settle into the process and make space for your own joy and rest and care. Because otherwise keeping going can feel out of reach. And at the end of the day, that is what this is about. It is just about keeping going. Like even in this mess that we're in. And so that's an example of something that I can put out that is, I think, a lot more loving and supportive than just reminding these people that other people don't have their back. Right. I can also put out an episode like this one that is specifically intended to help people who are my people, course correct in their business, so that they can reclaim some energy and be a little bit more intentional with their energy so that they can do things in a way that is more sustainable, and find people who are there like best fit people, right? This is content that gives you the tools to actually do things differently, rather than content that you might find addictive or enticing or might agree with or might want to DM me about to say oh my gosh, are you so agree, or might want to be my friend because of it. Right? But ultimately leaves you on the exact same place that it found you. Right. So that is what I hope we can collectively move away from and we can instead be much more intentional about who we're talking to what it is that we provide and stick with that vision. Now, I mentioned at the top of this episode, I have a brand new self guided workshop, you can find it at bit.li/no business rules, it is going to outline five growth stages that guarantee you you are going to find yourself moving through as you work on creating a values aligned impactful sustainable business. And it's going to give you some really great questions based on the stage and that growth, that growth journey that you are in. To help you get really clear on some of these things that we talked about in this episode, it's going to help you get clear on what that vision is, it's going to help you get clear on what it is that you are really here to do and remind you of that so that you can stay with that and not keep, you know, abandoning it and moving on to the next thing. So if you want to take that workshop, I think that it's really going to help you with moving forward in a way that is uniquely yours. And in a way that is much more intentional and sustainable. You can go to bit.li/no business rules.

Brooke Monaghan

33:41

I hope that you love the workshop, and we'll see you the next few weeks with some more marketing related content that I hope is really helpful for you and your business. Transcend your dichotomy is production of passion and process collaborative LLC. This show is produced by me Brooke Monaghan with production and marketing support from Alex Henderson. If you want to support me in the show, the best way to do that is to leave a rating and review on Apple podcasts and share the show with someone who you know needs to hear it for free trainings my weekly newsletter or to join us in the Rule Breakers crew. Go to Brooke dash monahan.com That's mon a Ghan love y'all. See you next week.

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