And then I'll also start our recording on here as well. Okay
okay, so welcome to imaginal temple immersion session two. So today I'm really excited because tomorrow is the much anticipated Uranus and Jupiter conjunction in Taurus. And it's just interesting to be starting this container. The group immersion This is the first round of group immersion I've ever done for imaginal temple. Any eclipse season in Mercury Retrograde before this. I guess like once in every 13 year conjunction and I wanted to bring it up because I have Jupiter and Uranus conjunct natively in my chart, not exactly as it will be tomorrow and I find that that's in my house of career and the experience I've had around it has been always being in the right place at the right time when something new is being invented. And I have the particular skill set to fill that first void where no one really knows how it works, how it's going to happen, and there's no rules yet for it. So because of the threads that are in common with this group of people I'm particularly excited that we get to meet before this date. And with that in mind, I'm going to just call us into a grounding space before we get going on our conversation. So when you're ready I want to invite you to allow your eyes to close or soften and to begin to tune into the feeling of your body as a collective of molecules of microbiota. A universe of cells and as you breathe imagine you can feel every different being that makes up the community of you. Coming into synchronicity moving like an undulating ocean wave as we breathe into this community that makes up our physical emotional and energetic body we might imagine we are calling our own energy back into this Now moment experience
that each little cell little being within us is being revived. With a sense of its own vastness. Its soul returning into this Now moment into the body and as we breathe, we might imagine the place where our body meets the seat beneath us is opening up to the Earth's energy which is grounding transmuting an A anchoring I love this vastness this Starlight this uncontainable diversity that lives within us. It's all being anchored and welcomed by the seat beneath us by the Earth's gravity. As if each inhale allows us to connect to that sense of expanse. And each exhale allows us to settle receive that bandwidth with a little bit more stability. A little bit more rootedness. And as we each start to breathe into the heart space, we might imagine we are calling in our own creative guides. And guardians, our own spirits, our own souls, the vastest parts of our imagination the most persevering and rooted parts of our being calling in sacred fire the sacred flame, the eternal flame of the creative spirit the energy of the butterfly, the transformative genius who has many lives in one life the feeling of a calm
shore where the ocean meets the land whatever energies that are most aligned with your true hearts creative energy your true heart's desires we call them here now to encircle us imagining all around us a stone circle, a rose quartz of fire Opal
yes at all the work we do today and every day before our highest good and the highest good of all those connected to us that we create an inviting place for the creative energy that wants to flow through the vessels of this lifetime that we learn to respect and revere the process of compassion and tenderness required to learn from our own creative spirit. I also call in the planetary support of the great benefit of Jupiter the expanded expansive philosopher The Wanderer, the generous one, the one big enough to embrace everyone to invite everyone and the energy of breakthrough that you're on as stewards that energy. of flash flashes of light to illuminate that which is meant to be seen by us. But I also call in the energy of Venus to show us the way for these energies to land with softness. So we can stay in relationship with all the pieces and parts of who we are
and as you start to just feel any sensations in your heart, in and around you. Taking a moment to perhaps set your own or plant your own intention for our time today together.
Imagining one last time that anything you don't need anything that's not aligned with your highest good and this Now moment, returning to the place in the universe where it is most loved.
Before starting to introduce some gentle movement or motion in the body before slowly and gently allowing your eyes to flutter open
Okay, so I would love to begin today too. Um, by going around and talking about our creative assignments. And we please remember that whatever happened in your life since this container started, is also considered part of the creative movement that we are learning to observe and track. So feel free to bring up things that seem tangential but you feel are related. And yeah, I think I'll let you choose what order you'd like to go in.
I can start I've been excited to hear your feedback and your guidance so should I begin with so I had? Well, actually I have a question. We had the mood board homework, are we talking about that or the specific homeworks you gave us or activities that you suggested? And the last goal I
wanted to start with the activities that from the last call but if anyone has any thing they want to share from the pre work, that's totally welcome. Okay.
Thank you for clarifying that. Okay, so my specific assignment was to write a corporate value proposition, which at the beginning, I was like, Oh, my goodness, just the word corporate is tough on me. But, you know, my husband is actually someone that works in the corporate world, and he's very much left mode brain type of guy. So I'm like, I got this and also he gives me feedback. So this is my corporate value proposition. I am a certified mindfulness teacher guiding individuals that are looking to integrate their logical linear approach to life with their unique unexplored capacity for creativity and intuitive abilities.
So that
came out of you know, the prompts that I had to put together that that value proposition my target audience, I was able to identify that how and where and when I feel the most comfortable connecting with people and being of service to them is when they have a level of self awareness and personal development work. However, what I've noticed is that when even for my in my personal experience in that personal growth, kind of like Journey to me and what I've noticed and those around me that I get to talk to about this type of things. I noticed that in that personal development journey, a lot of times there's something that feels like we're missing, still missing something that no matter how much we work on understanding our minds, our thoughts, our limiting beliefs, our traumas, like all of those things, there's something else missing. And to me that comes from the spiritual side. To me that is spiritual growth. That's really what we're craving in. Like we think it's more personal development we think is more understanding our limiting beliefs or loops and like our patterns, but in my way of seeing things we are craving something bigger that that you know, the heart we're craving the guidance from the heart. So of course, that was kind of like what I wrote, you know, the biggest need or chant or challenge of my target audience. I wrote down getting out of their heads and going into their hearts. But, you know, writing in my value proposition that I just wanted to take them to the heart or corporate world. It's not, you know, it's not their language. So, I've been taking a class by Dr. Daniel Siegel, which is his he's been a psychotherapist for like over four years. He has created this framework of it's a consilience approach, in which he has taken both science and wisdom for from Native communities and ancient wisdom traditions, and he has put together a framework to find integration in our brains, our minds and our relationships. So in taking that class, I've learned that pretty much you know, our left mode, kind of thinking side of the brain is this linear, logical, more kind of like masculine energy and it's the right mode of the brain you know, the, the capacity for creativity for like the mystery, you know, the where everything exists. The left one kind of gives it that structure that guidance. So I thought, well, maybe this is the type of language that I can bring into this value proposition. So yeah, so that's kind of like what I did. One of the things that I struggled with was incorporating what makes the odds are better than competitors. I wrote down. I don't have a pre designed blueprint or a cookie cutter method to make this journey with them. So we'll design it together. This was cool to see and to that it came it came up with this works for me because my company that I had before for eight years, I'm a designer so it was nice to see that that kind of like keying into this into this value proposition. So yeah, I don't know if you have any specific questions that I could share a little bit more about it.
Yeah, well, thank you for going first Natalia and for sharing all this, like thoughtful work with us like what is striking to me about this process in a really general way is these projects like these little assignments we do they just give us more feedback into the aliveness of like, the bandwidth of your creative spirit. So say in session one is we're decoding your visions. We're feeling this part of you that's like, I don't want to be boxed in I don't want to be described. I don't even want to have bio on my page like I rebel against and I reject against all this like, I don't want this and then we come into session two and we see this like okay considering this a playful activity, right like this total openness into description. And this ability to like a desire to translate what you do for many, many different audiences from corporate to non corporate. And then somewhere in the middle of this bandwidth between the sort of Formless poetic and the ability to say who is my target audience What sets me apart? What do I do? Is the braiding of something that is sturdy enough house for the spirit of what you're calling in and what you want to provide. With enough breeze and open air and open windows, to leave a little bit of the work up to the person who's interacting with you, right, because there's probably for everyone here, it's almost like if you have to spell it out too much, that's probably not your person. Right? So we're we go everyone in some way we go really, we're kind of like swinging or a pendulum from one side to the other in the middle like this is kind of like the construction of the sandbox that we're creating for your, your own creative. Let's call it identity, but that's not really the right word to get to know itself. So I love the idea that I think it's really beautiful that you meet people where they are because you're talking about the you're you're talking about the people who want to integrate the logical with something else. You're drawing this map in what you've shared, where it's the mind wants to meet this sort of unexplored creativity. And then you're also saying something is missing. What is that there's this it's the spiritual heart. Right. And what I think is the sort of next thing that I want to ask you is, how do you take people into the spiritual heart? What kinds of things might they expect to do? And what does that have to do with creativity? And these are all things I'm kind of getting the answer from. It's not like a what do you call it? Interrogation, like, what is this mean? But more like that is the if it's a braid, it's the it's the it's the thread that I'm curious about how you would weave into here. Just I want to also make it clear that like, my goal is not necessarily for you to have like, the perfect like these two languages, depending on you know, door, one for corporate door two for like the poetic free spirit. But more like in doing these exercises, you become so anchored and knowing the resonance of who you are, that you can say it to you can you feel so confident explaining these things to anyone? Does that make sense?
It makes total sense because that's how it has felt doing this activity. And I mentioned before that the energy of the eclipse was really rough on me, because I woke up the day after the Eclipse and I was like, literally like in tears because I didn't know like how to bring what I wanted to bring to the world and to people how to serve. And then I just had like this, you know, I allowed myself to just cry it out for the whole morning and then I have this moment of clarity and then it can remember if I started working on this activity the same day but but everything kind of like started to get more clear and just doing this activity has been able to do that like allow me to feel like anchored and like really even safe in this own in the in the in the container that I'm creating for myself. Not anything else outside of me doing it. So do you want me to answer those questions Do you hear or should I just work on them on my own?
I think that what we'll do is we'll go around in a circle and then come back around in a circle. Does that feel good? Does that feel okay? Yeah, because they feel like everyone's gonna relate to each other a little bit. So I want to like move it sideways. But I do want to add this thing that the consciousness of what you want to do for all of you will be playing with you. And so this thing, a feeling you have where you almost hit the bottom and you cry. Right and you're talking about the heart and creativity and clearing and clarity and crying is also part of this. So I just want you to like include that in your experiment because maybe a lot of your clients don't have anyone hold space for that being part of it.
So I love everything that you're saying my initial value proposition had said I'm a space holder because of this because I am someone that just my whole childhood. I was told not to cry. So when I got to a place where I was able to do whatever I wanted, like that is my go to like I cry. You told me to cry and I'm crying. So I really release a lot and I wrote that I'm a space holder guiding individuals blah, blah, blah. And my husband was like I don't think corporate people would understand what a space holder is. So yeah, I love I love that you brought that up because I didn't think about that that process of clearing clearing out through that expression of you know, emotion or you know, energy I'm gonna write it down. Thank you so much. And yes, I love that we can go around I also don't want to take you know a lot of time.
Yeah, I just want to add one more thing for everyone though and and respond to that quickly because I do notice that right when the mind gives up something magical happens, but we like don't want to let it get there. You know what I mean? And I have had so many times where I'm like, my brain is like I can't I can't do this anymore. And I put something down and I'll literally turn on like a TV show or something and it will be like this is what you're looking like, the exact thing you need is right here. Can you stop trying? And so I just want to weave that. I just want to pinpoint that as well. Okay. Thank you Natalia. Okay, who wants to go next?
I'm happy to go um, I really related to a lot of what Natalia was saying. So I can like segue into that. So I think my assignment was poking around Canva and creating a pitch deck for my brand. I definitely had a lot of resistance. And I'm trying to really push through that which is hard. I think like putting my ideas into structure, especially around technology. I really I have a hard time with that. And I don't know I think maybe I have to do a reading that's that's an aside but like I wanted to share my my HD stuff and like my my astrology stuff in the in the group thing because I I don't know much about that. And I feel like I really need to understand more about that just because I'm like such a Sagittarius. You know, I'm like, I don't know. It's like, it's a part of myself that I really don't know. I feel I feel like you know, I've been in a lot of like institutions like I work in a corporate environment. Like that's what was presented to me growing up and like, that's what I know. But it's like, I'm kind of countered to like who I am as like a really like, empathic, intuitive sensitive person. And so I'm sort of like in this like, weird transition time that I'm, I'm trying to embrace like, more of who I am. And it's, it's very rebellious, which is good. Because that's what I'm gonna have it but um I feel like I'm sort of moving in a different direction where I want to develop a website. I don't know if this is okay to talk about, but I so I really want to, like promote small creators, like small designers like, like sort of get away from just the corporate sort of, I feel like that's just what we consume. And it's, I spent the last year working in corporate and it was almost like I was kind of like a writer. It's like everybody was quitting their jobs and like complaining about it, and I was like, What is this about? Like, I want to know, like, I've always been freelance and so it never interests me to work in corporate and so I sort of went into it and like, observed everything and saw what I needed to see and I'm almost kind of like moving away from that and like so I have all these like, sort of like edited signs of like small designers and I also have like, the fashion background so I really understand like production and what's actually sustainable wood is like really of high quality and like those are like I want to see more of that in the world. I want to see it's alarming to me. Like how much junk is is being produced and and how that's like if you do a Google search and you see like clothes and like what's available in the market is like is very scary to me. Like I just I think I think I have a resistant and I'm saying for some reason like I just I don't know I feel like it's become like a it's almost like the power thing. It's become like a bad word just to me like my perception of it, but like I feel like I feel like I lost my train of thought. I just feel like it's it's really important. It's really important to to lift those kinds of people have I lost my train of thought so I'll stop there. Yes. No,
it's okay. Yes, sir. So did you were you able to play in Canva at all were you where's your energy like, I don't like
I did a little bit like I I hoped around. But I I didn't really create anything like concrete. I I don't know. I'm like more of a person that like, I want to like collage than I then I want to get on a computer and like, put me there I don't know like I just I have trouble with like creating a new account and then a password and like all that like it just totally overwhelms me. I'm sorry, not
I don't know. I'm asking you this because we have to all like we're learning from our creative spirit like, what is a comfortable step out of a comfort zone and what is going to cause a shutdown? And like we need to like honor what it how it responds like, we're not here to coerce, we're not here to you know, like, that's why you're not. That's why you don't want to be in other spaces. So why would we do that in here? It doesn't make sense. So. So if your hands are like, I want to collage I wanted to do my own way. Then I feel like we should just do that. Like, we don't need to even think about it. We're just gonna go with it. I do think that it might make sense to take a second to actually take a super quick peek at your human design, even though we're all going to do this next week. I'm going to get everyone's information and we'll all go through depending on like to support whatever comes up in this session. But I I think it might be interesting if this is okay with everyone else if I spin and you know, Sarah, if I pop your information in here, and just tell you what comes up off the top of my head because I feel like you brought that up for a reason. So in honor of that, I'd like to flow with it. Is that cool? Okay. What is your birthday?
Oh, bye 1124 at time
and time
8am
And where were you born?
Beverly Massachusetts.
Okay, so is it okay with you if I share this screen so people can get a sense of like the flow of how this is gonna be next week? Sarah? Oh, yeah. Okay, that's okay. Okay. Good to know, I'm an out of order lady. So this is how things flow around here. Um, I wish I could make this part go away. You can ignore this part on the right because we don't really need it. But. So the reason that I sometimes bring these things up when we're thinking about things and we're listening to our energy and how it's moving, is because it takes us sideways of our perspective and it just kind of opens a different doorway. For us to look at the experience. And so one of the things I checked with people about first thing is their profile when they're describing to me their creative process. And that's these numbers three, and five. So you hear this when people are talking about human design like I'm a six to your three, five. So here's what is really important. If you are a three, five, you are someone who needs to iterate things and put things into a model. Try things and see what happens. When things stay in the sound of it ideation space too long. They don't give you enough information. So when you talk about your ideas in abstract ways, Sara like they feel very clear to me. But there's something about putting like, the pedal to the metal so to speak, where something has to come into a form, where even if it's like one interview of one designer, like one, one collage one, one sort of thing where what you're, what you're working with here is dropping into the world so you can interact with it. It allows you to move forward. Like it's it's like a process of needing to test and the thing that people who have three energy, like I don't actually love this phrase because I don't know I just wish there was a different one. But it's they need to learn what doesn't work through doing it. And they come up with things that are totally unique. And my metaphor for this is like think of somebody who goes to culinary school and cooks really, really all they ever do is the recipes and then think of someone else who's like I just try a lot of things and a lot of things don't work out. But the things I do that workout, no one else can present to you. Because I'm just trying I'm just trying stuff. I'm just moving through stuff. And that's like one thing I want to say. The other thing I want to say is that there's something about your creativity in this line here that really likes to just like not use your mind and sense in your body, how to move things around, where you're just kind of like flow. And it's not emotional. It's not mental. It's actually like instinctive. Like, it's very like spontaneous. So I would like to reframe your assignment so that you're working with something you want to present that allows you to, like, feels this way to me, I imagine people just kind of move things until they like the way they settle in. But I think there's something about you know, when you're learning how to walk and you're so afraid to fall down, that you're just like really stiff in your walk there when you have three energy. Like when babies are learning how to walk when they learn how to fall safely. They almost relaxed into their walking. That's how this creative process feels a little bit were doing the things and feeling like you're not that you're falling or failing. It's not about that but this feeling like there's nothing you're protecting yourself against. Because you know that whatever, wherever you land, you're going to be fine. Does that make sense? So, so we'll stop there because we're gonna get into this more but I just felt like we needed to like drop into a sideways context. Really quick Do you have any questions for me about anything? I just said?
I don't think so. It makes a lot of sense to me.
Yeah. I think that there's something very fresh and new about everything you want to create. Where it does feel like there are no model around you like yes, there's sustainability. Yes, there's like it's but it's, it's something else like we don't even like really know what it is until you start getting in the kitchen and cooking. You know, like, that's how I feel. So it's like for you this idea of micro like where there's no pressure on you where your assignment is, like, get in. If this was I would say your assignment is like, Please hang out in the kitchen. Today. Like that would be it like, I wouldn't even push further than that because there's something about everything needing to feel like it's your choice like this feels true for everyone like it just feels like really important. So I want you to have that latitude but still that like do you need more bumpers or guidance than that or does that feel like enough? Like?
Um, I guess I'm I'm wondering about like, a structure, like, where to play like, um, I don't know, but I feel like it's a good starting point. Like I feel like what you're saying makes a lot of sense. To me.
I almost feel like if a website was a tangible thing. Like I'm seeing board and magazines and you know, like, like, let's just put the computer away and make the play space tangible but let it have as much potete like possibility media wise as a website, meaning you want to put text in there. You want to write something and glue it like it's your world. Like, does that feel okay? Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Because like yeah, of course, and I do feel like it's important for us. I am again, like, not into coercing anyone but the there's a lot of juice in sharing your work in tiny in small containers. And if anyone here feels like doing it in Slack, like previewing little things, they're working on getting feedback. It does create a lot of energetic momentum. And for you in particular, Sara, like it feels important for for you to share at the pace and in the way that you're again No, no like no one's bossing you around, like you just, but like it I do think it's an important ingredient for you. Okay. Okay. Of course. Okay, who's next?
I can go next. Okay. Yeah, I love this so amazing. Okay, where to start? Okay, so I'm a 352. So that was really cool to hear about and then Italia. I feel like I'm so glad you're here because I am like thinking about the same things that like not exactly the same things, but like some of the same things like what I found is like, all this psychology stuff like it's inherently spiritual, like the deeper mediumship it's like, oh, no, this is just spiritual, but it's pretending like it's not. And so like, like that. This is what I was thinking about in mind. So in my homework, I did like the three things to have like the one hour talk. And immediately like, it came to me to do like self esteem, but I don't want to call it self esteem because I just like that word is so like, it's just like, it's so it doesn't feel right. And then I was thinking like self love and that also doesn't feel right. So I'm still like thinking about what to like. Say, but because self esteem has been such a big part of my spiritual work like to be a better medium, to be a better person. I've had to like, realize these things about myself, which didn't come up as a psychotherapist and so like I want to talk about this and I didn't like parse it out. Because it just feels like there's so much to say. But I've really this is how I need to like really break it down for myself to know like what to talk about and want to stay on track. Okay, so what about this? Let's see, like how intuition improves with self esteem and like giving like tangible ways to work on loving yourself more but also like spiritual ways to do that. So like things, okay, so this is my thing. Okay. So verbally talking about this. So, um, okay, so like having the tangible skills that people can do in session or out. Like I don't know like doing a meditation where people like go deep and like feel into different things. And then talking about it. So yeah, so the three things would be all related to self esteem. So one would be like the skills to would be
like how it can increase intuition and like using, like this kind of spiritual psychological work to have more intuition because I feel like part of it is like when you have more self esteem you can make trust yourself more, which means that like, you can have your own answers because I feel like so many people don't know how to have their own answers. They're like looking for other ways to get answers. And it's like, they'll accept answers that don't feel right to them because someone else they trust someone else more than they trust themselves. So a big part of this would be like to help people trust themselves more.
And then
I mean, like, yes, and so like also like how to be happier and like self fulfilled and satisfied, because your self esteem is higher because like, so it's like, they're all kind of connected, but they're all kind of, you know, hopefully you said but talking about like I don't know, I just feel like people are dissatisfied because they're not like following their intuition. And so it's kind of like all blends together. Yeah. And then also just I've been struggling. Like I really procrastinated on this because I've been struggling with, like, not wanting to help people any sketches. Like, I'm just like, like, I just like I'm like, Okay, well, maybe I'll just create a skin cream or maybe I'll create like, like something so I don't have to, like interact with people like one on one even though I think that's like my gift. I'm still in this space where I'm like, I'm over it. But I know that that's like part of my purpose in this world. I understand that and I still am in this space where I'm like, I don't want to like I don't want to be I don't want to care about other people so much. You know, because I just feel like I've cared so much for so long that I'm like is still in this like
I don't want to, you know, yeah, yeah, I think you know, it's funny because the eclipses were like in the Aries Libra axis, right? So it's like all of the mercury was in Aries like it a lot of stuff has been like I think actually a lot of us have been pulled to focus on ourselves more and really uncomfortable ways that we actually feel like in ways that we've been taught are like really bad and like make us really bad and I think that the irritation and agitation even around like I don't want to do this I want to do that. Like that's good information. Like I think actually we've all been so lucky that like, the universe is like really showing us what makes us mad what gets us annoyed, like it's it's great. I want to say like ocean with you what feels really juicy is the concept or relationship. I think that there are three things but I think that the three things are a different three things and what you said but not like, not in like, like an organizational way because I think the first thing is that what you shared around psychological work being spiritual work. I think that's actually thing number one. Right and then then number two is sort of like what what does it means to have self esteem? Sort of by itself? Right? Like, what is that and the concept if somebody told me that they could give me some exercises that were both like practical, but also sort of imaginal I won't be like so curious, like, I'd be like, I would love to go to a workshop where someone's going to give me like practical ways to work on my self esteem. And then, I think then the third thing is your bridge your connection between self esteem to intuition, like how one connects to the other and then by the time you've talked people through the self esteem part. Now they're ready to do the intuition part. Because you're sort of teed them up to like, trust whatever they get in like a very basic intuitive exercise. Now, this is not to say that you should change anything about what you've come up with, but it's more like sometimes, I noticed that something that seems so obvious to us could take us 15 To 20 minutes to explain to someone else. And sometimes like that's so much like, like, it seems basic to you but you're reorienting someone to think about something totally differently. So that giving them a second to like really catch up with it. And the thought and like process it with you. Even the idea of psychological work being spiritual work, they might be like, wait, what, like, Tell me more, you know, so so take what you want and leave the rest but there's something about you remember like last session, there was this feeling of like, there's so much I can't, I can't create a circle around the thing I would talk about, and like there was a quickness with which you pluck something out. It's like you took a drop of water out of the ocean and then expanded it so people could like look at it with like, a microscope or something and see what was in there. So for you and you let me know how this feels like. It seems like it'd be really fun for you to break this down. Like but like for yourself to explain it to yourself. It's a discovery process. You know, you're like, oh, whoa, like I invented that like that kind of feeling. You know, like it like, fun of that. Like so that it's not about you helping anyone. It's just about you. Getting to know your own thinking and your own imagination. Because I feel like diagramming it out could just be fun like seeing what happens. Now I think we should all talk about this thing of not wanting to help people anymore. Or just orienting differently towards service, which I think everyone here is, you know, how what, what do I have to contribute and what does that look like? Everyone here feels like they're shifting that so I think that like and this kind of goes back to, especially what we were talking about with Sarah like, I don't think it has to I think it has to be a choice. You know, so that you feel like at any time, you can take a break from what you're doing. Because there's something about you knowing that that makes you be able to give when you are giving with this like I am choosing this is not because there's no other way or no other gift or no other path. Because even if you think it's part of your gifts, that doesn't mean like I don't know, we just become like the agents of our own burnout somehow I don't know how this happens. It definitely happens to me a lot. And there's something about energetically knowing you don't have to that then makes you want to like it can't feel like your only option. So besides kind of playing with this and teasing it out. I feel like there's another thing around how to put stuff where you don't. Where you don't have to interface with people. Just so you're building a another playground for yourself to go into. So that when you're in service, it's a choice. You know, and maybe it is just like, maybe it's a book like maybe it's a recorded workshop like whatever it is. I feel like it's very it's just already what you do in another form. So it's not like you have to reinvent the wheel. Does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah, it makes sense, because I also don't feel ready to choose to help people in this moment, which is why I've been like progressing so much in my own life about like, what to do with my life, because I I don't feel ready to choose. So I think that having another option of like the playing of what do I do if I'm not helping people and I I've struggled with it. I've really struggled with it because I started to do mediumship because I loved how it expanded me spiritually. And I love talking to spirits and like being in that world, but then it evolved because most mediums want to help people and that's like what they do and so now I'm in this place where I'm like, Okay, well now I'm ready to do that thing, but I don't want to do it, you know, and so it's like now what do I do? It's it's a little Yeah, like
there's some other question here though.
Can I offer something? Yes. Is that okay?
I love it. Yeah, please. I really
resonate with this because I'm kind of pausing on my my coaching my one on one work which is like directly the service model in order to write this book, which is like my dream, my old dream. But as I've been doing it, I realized it's actually just a bigger vehicle for me to get my message out. It's actually a way to help more people and I think that there is this you know, there can be this false binary of like, if it's for me, it's not for others. You know what I mean? And I wonder if even just playing around with the spirits and asking what they want to how how to how to they want to collaborate, which could be really nourishing and fun for you might actually, you know, end up pouring out in some way not to do it because of that, but you know, that makes sense. Thank you.
Yeah, there it feels like there's another question behind when you said I want to I wanted to do it because of how much it expanded me. There's something in there. Like, yeah, you know, in what you're trying to transmit, is that feeling or sensation? Is it through you holding space for one other person for mediumship? Or as saga saying is there some other vehicle for because ultimately, the bigger vision is that you want them to feel expanded? Right. So the the way that you, um, the vehicle for whatever that is, I think what everyone is sort of touching on like has to be something that is enjoyable for you in the making. Not just in the here I finished it. So what does that look like? Yeah, thank you. I love it. Okay. Cool. Okay, who wants to go next?
Actually, Kayla, you've been totally cut out. Is it just, you all
background noise somehow? That's getting picked
up. I figured out my audience okay.
I can go in the meantime, since I started talking already. I made my essence here. Anybody wants a bottle of promise some people a bottle of encrypted data yet but all in divine timing. And it was interesting because they made it during the eclipse which I was very like should I shouldn't I like is this playing with fire? And because and I had these like visitations right before these birds, birds, which three vultures, turkey vultures in like a right before the Eclipse. And then the message that I understood it was like life, death, life, life, death life. And this essence is very much forced me to go into my own underworld also because Eclipse was Chiron and basically I am fleshing out from my body like it feels for my cellular memory. This narcissistic abusive relationship by had from the ages of 17 to 22. Which is, like been the big, big thing that I've big, almost secret thing. It's like okay, this is the first year of my life and I remember talking about it really openly. And it's like I'm having to almost reconnect to the sensations to the emotional and physical sensations of that experience. In order to and I've been doing reanimate studios the cleanse I know Xenia, no one knows what that is, but she's a movement guide, but it's really like, it's really about cleansing like your whole like, I feel like it's like moving things out of my cellular membrane through this movement practice and it's a seven week long commitment basically to doing this type of gentle very nourishing movements three to four times a week. And it's like my body has has has to go through this thing. I have all this Ikea furniture around me that I have been building because my office space is getting cleared as is like my house is getting storage. For the first time it's like, like the form my physical form is being re ordered in this really and like cleared and reordered and kind of a rapid way which Xenia makes me remember that you you know said this thing that it's like it has to come through me. It's almost like as this thing like this all this clearing has to happen in order for this. It's like part of this thing landing inside of me. And I also started weekly coaching with a friend of mine who's a writer, like the much more direct coaching on my writing relationship, and I've only had one session but for the first it was like, Oh, now I have a person to tell the story to I'm just gonna write 12 pages, like any all sorts of all these things that had been in the ether became much more specific. Yeah, and I feel like I've just have directly related understood that the feeling that I get in my writing, which is like I can't is is from this relationship that I had. And like even before that, like from my parents, it's just like, there's so much trauma clearing in order to be able to write this story. And yeah, it's a really amazing time where I feel like I don't know how keep the this like the threshold that the threshold the shoreline of this of the new reality standing on the shoreline like not yet they're not yet there. There's a lot of work to do a lot of work to do to get there but like, but a lot of movement movement in a really gentle not forced way. Yeah, that's me.
You know, I think there's something really magical about working in a group like this. I think there and we talked about this before, but there is this because this group of people is really rebellious against coercion, but needs container or structure, a structure that doesn't sort of like oppress you, or contain you but something that supports you, almost like from underneath of you, or inside of you something that will move with you. Like, I think there's something about each person's growth process that almost shows us if this was a dance like that creativity does, like here's a step or a move that's available to any one of us at any time. And like, with you saga as it's like, oh, I'm going into this world and I'm making this essence and I'm going to sit in this place. It's almost like the flight safety checks right before you go into the other world is like, who's my emergency contact? Like, what is my What time do I eat? Like, what do I have enough water like you're doing all this route, work to go into that place? Feeling like when you come back? It's like, safe untethered. And yeah, and I feel like that you're bringing up this movement that you've been called to add intuitively is also interesting because for many of us, our creativity is entangled with our well being, you know, like, it's more like if I make myself feel supported, the creativity just becomes this product of the fact that I did the work to support myself instead of the creativity coming first. You know, like, it becomes this obvious thing, like, like trees bear fruit because they're like, I got the water and I got the sunlight and I got rained and they don't like start thinking about the fruit. It's like a consequence of being really well taken care of. And like, with everyone here, I think there's this I feel like the part that doesn't want to be coerced actually, like we're so I'm so happy saga that you're sharing all this with us because I feel like this is actually one. Like, can you make the space nicer for me? Can you do this for me? Can you do that for me? Okay, then we'll talk we can talk after that. You know, I have some I have a writer. Oh my god. Totally. So I'd like everyone to entertain their creative spirits writer inspired by what saga has shared here. Regarding like, meeting one's own needs, not rushing or forcing oneself and considering and valuing this as part of the process not adjacent to or a derailment of, but as part of so thank you saga.
It's also funny because you know, my book is called circle of Queens and I feel like she's like a total Queen diva.
Please get your affairs in order. This will not dinner.
But like, saga like it, it feels like this part you're doing is really deep and you have already the essence and you have your coach that you're working with with the writing stuff. So like, I'm wondering, because you're already doing so much. How, what in what way can this container sort of support guide, create feedback for or hold you because I kind of don't want to add more on to this play?
Yeah, there's a lot and I feel like if anything Yeah, it's actually I'm like trying to take away it's actually that I'm trying to take away that's what all the like I'm trying to try and take away the crap and like, you know, just it's like clearing it's a clearing. It's it's more of a distillation and getting into the so that there can be more ease for sure and more clarity. I think there's a thing that I'm thinking about it's actually just really Yeah, it's more it's more of my personal like the knot that I'm trying to untangle right now is essentially child care and infrastructure for me, a husband and myself and like we're gonna go into summer soon. I'm in this sort of like panic place because school and and there's three months of, you know, like in terms of that support, that underground support thing that is we have not had enough of that we have not had enough of that and we're about to lose what we have. So I don't know how this container relates to it. But that's what I feel like I want to talk about is that is I have a fear I have a fear like Oh no, this support is going to drop away like I can't. There's something that I can't trust in. Maybe it's even a trust issue might even be that that even though I'm putting in all this stuff to support it like will it
hold will it hold?
Well, it feels like there's something about community that is tangential to actually the child care issue, meaning it feels like you're probably not alone in the universe in who's having this kind of question. So what's coming up for me and I just feel like because you're a manifester. It always feels like kind of like encouraging you to initiate what you want to initiate always feels useful is like, who needs to have this conversation with you to come up because it just doesn't feel like the question you're having is personal. No, you know, it just feels like a structural problem in the in the world
and the collective. Yes, it's Yeah, and everybody's like, Oh, the, you know, my older son is is eligible for camps and things like that. But my younger son is to and not not in the window yet. And yeah, all the other two year old parents they both
Yeah, so I'm wondering if there's something around connecting with all those parents and being like, what can we do
about emailing this morning? So that's funny.
Can we take it turns where two of us watch the kids and the rest of us run off? Like how do we want to do this like, like, because there feels like a remaking of a village energy around you? That's just been there. Like, I don't know, just like, kind of how you see things, how you connect with people, how you like to solve problems in different ways. And I wonder if like, you're just the person who like lights the match in this case and sees what happens because right because for energetically, the book is like, really big, right? Like it's like a whole world, the system that needs to get built out now. Seems like for you to fly off if you were gonna go on a trip for nine months, like you're not but let's pretend because basically energetically that's what it is. Yeah. What would you have to do to feel safe to leave? And like know where you need to go right? Well, for sure, you'd need to know your kids were taken care of right, like, yeah, so I think this is actually really profound because our individual dreams desires imaginal worlds always collide with the systems of care in our society that are they're not there. Like, so. If there's a way for this to take something off your plate not add something. But as like a locus of innovation, because you're probably not the only artist or creative in your no community experiencing this.
There's one more thing also which has to do with this relationship that I was in, which is like, I wasn't able to leave that I was trapped in that space for a really long time. And it took me and like, he kept following me every time. Every time I tried to move to countries he came to the next country. You know what I mean? It was like, I was I was trapped. And now I feel like that is inside of me this feeling like I'm not allowed to leave, you know, I'm not allowed to leave this relationship. This whatever it is, even though it's an internal, it's not an actual, you know, like my current partner is very much like go be free fly. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, you know, but it's still it's something that I'm trying to find safety in. I think, the idea that it's okay to leave, it's okay. Then I'm free to go. I'm free to go. I'm free to go and come back as I want to. Yeah.
I'm really sorry. Are you okay, asking anyone else if they have responses in the group? Is that okay? Or it's Yeah,
I feel like this is yes. Hello.
So like, obviously, you're super smart and you're very logical and you can like think, like, you can think like, Okay, I know I don't believe this but I keep having this feeling. I found that for stuff that I am like that about I do EMDR like in person with a light bar. Like on the computer, it doesn't go well. Just straight up like the light bar is something that like really resets your mind in person. But I recommend even like, two sessions of that, like could really clear it because it clears your body of like, yeah, it's just it really works and since you thought about it so much like you can't think yourself out of it, you know, it's not going to change
Matic, this is what I mean is like right now. It's like my, my somatic memory of it is awake and ready to be met. So yeah, EMDR I did that a long time ago, but not you know, I was not in the right place. That could be the yeah, I've also thought about just cranial sacral or I don't know other types of bodywork is a very susceptible very responsive to bodywork. So yeah, this is helpful. Yeah. Reiki Yeah, yeah, right like go through the body to find that.
Yeah. I think does anyone else have anything before? I don't want to
Yeah, it's a deep saga like it's it's interesting circle of Queens. And this being the specific thing that's kind of pulling up from like, that kind of weed that you pull up and it grows roots. And you keep pulling it up like that there's like, I don't want to romanticize what's happening because it feels very painful and but the energetic relationship between like the circle of Queens, the vibration of it and this thing you're confronting does feel very like connected to the energy that you will have to vessel through the book right for the characters.
Well, it's interesting because I like got to the the bad the villain in the book, and I was like, Oh, shit, it's the same. It's not the person. It's the entity that was working through the person because I do believe that it would go multiple lifetimes, karmic battle against a malevolent thing and I felt it and my heart started racing, like from fear, like I felt this thing. And I was like, oh shit, am I going to be summoning awaking, like summoning the spirit through the writing of it. And that was interesting.
Yeah, it's like, actually, the book is like a resolution. It feels like but you are waking it up more than memory of it for you. So how do you feel safe writing the book?
Yeah,
you know, so. I do wonder because you're so close with the plants and flowers like what can hold you through? Yeah. Not just clearing it but also like the gentleness of the pacing that you that's the best for you with uprooting and clearing because, yeah, the consciousness of that experience. It doesn't feel like Oh, it's scary. It'll come back. It just feels like Oh, my body. How do I prepare my body to experience this character that I'm going to have to channel you know, how do I yeah, let it know that this is different. This is Yeah. You know. So maybe there can be an agreement there. Between you and the book and you in the process of the book of what you're willing to
do. My Side of the terms and conditions. Yeah,
yeah, totally. 100% Do you feel like that's important? To feel like you get to have like to feel like our creative energy inspiration doesn't like run over all the rest of us just because we're saying yes to it. Like, you know, like that feels really important. For all of us, I think. Okay, cool. Thank you. Thank you saga. You want to try again, Kaley?
Yeah, I think this should be better. Right? Okay. Yeah, it was my other headphones. But I'm so glad that I was able to join today and like listen, everybody because it is so funny how certain teams show up. And even in what you were saying or shown earlier, what you were saying at the end of what you're saying to Talia some of yours that's there. Like they showed up in little different ways, like within what I'm walking forward with right now. Whether it's other conversations or all of that. And one of the I think my assignment was to really start like, like clocking by time but just like being observational. of time because my relationship with time has been just like more like turmoil ish in some ways. As I balance like creative practices and different periods into my life, anyways, just wanted to like Like, share that I feel a lot different about my relationship with time since I started to be mindful of it when we had met. And some of those little sprinkles of the themes that I had coming up that I just recognized like, have almost been like I felt differently about them in my own world when I come across certain things because after I started, like, trying to be more aware of time, I started to better define like, where what was like sucking my time or like what was happening and it's just because like, I've noticed that I've started to just kind of like conceptualize different dimensions. And things. And I was calling it like just my creative process or like my imagination. And I was saying, well, that's where I feel more comfortable, but it's like it just because I have chosen to leave certain things behind and I'm choosing to approach things the way that I had now. I do feel like I'm in a different world because my world is more tied in or it just like looked at things differently. Like Xenia, you helped me with this, like specifically the internet. I talk about like online in real life, but how like digital stuff is so integrated into our lives. It's like, how can it be a whole separate thing? And it's such an interesting theme, because that's what helped me with even time of like, Oh, of course time is different because I'm actually moving through different parts of this world that people like on a day to day daily life like we don't look at as different worlds necessarily. I mean, online isn't like the best example but even connecting the dots with a different like ecosystem building to like talk about nature and the threads in nature versus things in femininity or like how it shows up in art or what I saw on Pinterest like, I'm almost like giving my creative process, more context because I feel as though I'm moving in between the girls and then I started to look at time not something that I'm like, working like working with or trying to move when to move forward to like bring stuff to life. I started to look at time as like almost like another world or like something that's a part of each world differently in different ways. I don't know it's been something I've been playing around with but a part of that has also been I think the Eclipse helped of like shifting my mindset around my choices of how I spend time because it almost was like no I liked spending time in this lane. It gave me more permission to understand like, part of that is going to be like this reorienting part of that is going to be jumping back and forth from different things or just like mentally different concepts or like dimensions or playing or whatever and I am feeling more like optimistic about it instead of like because I gave it I gave those barriers almost like a name or like I have like a concept in my head and how I'm moving through it so it doesn't feel like there's things that I can't see that are holding me back. And then the the next thing I think is just going to be to like better integrate and like feel grounded when I am hopping back and forth down. I did get a little bit better about it because I feel as though having more of that consent concept of like different dimensions or creative places that I'm living helps me be like, Oh, that is also my choice. But of course it's hard to perhaps like relate to somebody on there because they don't know that's not like where they live today or like where they work today. And that's helped me that so I feel I feel like a lot more grounded and I also have been very aware too because part of the thing that came up with like that concept was just feeling like super lonely and like my like, thought my sister idea or like strategy or whatever, but now I feel less lonely because I just feel more aware like even if the room and they don't understand me. I like kind of picture myself as like, oh, because I'm just like a little bit over here. And like I just had to step in. It's different than like meeting somebody where they're at because it's like, Oh, of course they're blocked because I'm all the way in other areas. That's like divided by like one reason dimension. I don't know it's working. So I mean, I'm really looking forward to it. And it also helped me like look at other people's problems differently and I have been working on my youtube and I'm working on my like, creative like partnership. What it's more of like this like, you know marketing and creative like container that I work with people on to just like, throw their content strategy out the window and do the internet differently than calling it break the internet because it's like you just look at doing things differently instead of getting pulled into this thing that you feel like you have to be a part of, its like how do you stop and just like that, like, Twinkle back into it and re state and like saying like, what are what are what is the actual parameters that I'm working with? Like what are the rules that I subscribed to and what don't I have to describe to you and how can I like, take my power back within that situation and just have like fun with it to deliver what I'm supposed to deliver. So once I started to like feel or just like look at things differently with that. It helped them block a lot of those things that that and also also the energy thing. I feel like I'm really going on a rant here but understanding how my energy work within the different like time dimensions or concept dimensions creative dimensions. Helps me like feel like I could have more ownership over the energy dream that comes with like say like helping people Oh shots of freedom or the energy drain that comes from like hanging out with people or something like it's almost like I have I am grounded. It's now put into like in the full picture of what I was navigating that I didn't wasn't giving in to before. So thank you.
Thanks, Kaylee. Yeah, I feel like you described a perspective shift we can almost picture you if like the universe was like multiple planes and there's like a web that you hop from, like being more on this top one hopping around and like just knowing where you are and I'm I had two thoughts like I'm curious if you I'm curious if you have visually represented what this feels like for you the different planes, not to like get caught up in it or made up make a system of it, but maybe there's something in there for other people or something in there. Like in an innate system or inherent system.
Yeah, I don't I don't know how I would describe it to other people. But it's the pattern it what I have observed, like even what came up for us that we've been at a workshop all week for cyber collective like doing like journeying. It's like the proton it's the neuro it's like how the electron like moves and how like even when we were when I was working through like as I drew the shape out and how things like echo through each other it's simple flower it's like, it's like, I don't know if I can, you know, if it would be something that I would go to like my partner like, I was like here today on the map, but it kind of like gave me more permission because I I felt like, well, this isn't an unfamiliar place. It's just actually movement. That's just not linear, but it's movement that's like repeated from like the cellular level all the way up to all these different things.
Yeah, I think, take or leave what I just said, but it's more like there's a fractal mapping that you're learning. I don't know if anyone else will ever see it. It just feels like there's a structure to it. That feels inherent. So just if that's fun for you. The other thing I'm really keen about is the idea of breaking the internet and the people that you're working with. Like if they become their own kind of spaceship that moves through time and space. In a certain way and if the ground if you are grounded by being together, do you know what I mean? Like because you're on a certain kind of gravity and maybe other people aren't experiencing so. I'd be is there anything you want like help with to move forward with because it seems like mostly everything is the same but your perspective has shifted? Right? So is there something else you're wanting to land or ground that we can help you with?
Um, well, I would say like an intention I'm setting or what I'm going to explore and i It's the I think it shows up in some of yours like journeys right now to one of the things that I have been like afraid of even though I feel very called to do this like like mentorship coaching thing and people one on one I'm doing it as a way to like, also I'm like I'm also doing it with cyber collective and I was nervous around like what goes here versus what goes in this other direction and if I am duplicating things or not, and also where my where's my energy going to get pooled like how I'm going to find the right people to work with. But I'm very optimistic. But I know that like everybody here has experienced those things in different ways, and it's continuing to experience them. And so I'm just going to be like keeping an ear out and like listening to y'all more. But it's cool because I've also have worked with people in the past like around this stuff. And so I have experienced knowing like, this is almost like the easiest, most potent thing that like I can figure out how to click with people on and then the rest comes naturally. So I'm not as afraid of the energy level or like the time management of it now with this new perspective, but what I would need how whether like or when I'm like listening and like you're always experiences are is like how that shows up sustainably or how do you navigate it, especially when it's like launching the new thing and meeting like calling the new people and
I'm thinking about how pacing has been a thing for everyone. And non linearity and non forcing but also knowing where you're going because that's why we're here right? Like we're sort of like committed to some some sort of thing birthing. So I think that when it comes to I'm wondering if, when we it's like everyone talks about sustainability once something is birthed. But rarely does the concept of sustainability come up while something is being creative? I don't know if that's because like we get excited or I don't I don't know why that is but I'm wondering if we build a model for what we're trying to create in the creation. Like if you don't want to burn yourself out later when you're maintaining it, why would you burn yourself out creating it? Right, like maybe that's how you build the DNA of something where like we talked about this last time, but the how and the what has to match more and more and more. That's the new paradigm where it's like, I'm talking about sustainability, but like everything I'm doing is unsustainable. Like that's just so normal now like, it's weird. So I almost feel like the fabric of what you want to create when when this feels Earth more Earth side has to come into your habits and patterns that you're building. Now and it feels like even though you're time hopping, checking in with your time hopping spaceship, your body, right? Feels like something that's just like, when I think about it, the body is the best sustainability temperature.
Right? Like it's like
well, what are you doing? I'm really tired or I'm fried or like you know, it just tells us so what would it look like for everyone here? And you know, Kaylee especially if, like before you burn out before the light bulb goes all the way out. Like where you are. I don't know, like let me know how you all feel. But I feel like when I'm feeling creative, I tend to wait for my energy to completely run out before I stop. Like to actually like not be able to continue before I put the pen down or put the computer down. What does it feel like to like have your battery saves time to recharge because we're at 5% Or sorry, like we have we have like 15% left not zero or 10% left, not zero. And how do we get into the DNA of like what we're creating so it's not? Yeah, same. Saga says the energy that goes into the energy of the product and Sara says, thinking about the difference between masculine and creation energy and feminine energy in the last nine months and nine months.
I really like the energy of the process goes into the energy of the product and I've been in exactly what you were saying Sarah about the feminine like versus God's gonna approach to creation has been coming up a lot because it's like a much more able to let things cook but also, it's um, it's almost like what I'm designing is not actually going to be like more work because it's kind of like the structure of the way to like connect with people within this world and it's like, going to be able to happen because it's actually the container like itself, right. And then and that I know energizes me so it's like reframing it and then also just experimenting with it.
Yeah. And I don't know Kaley, like it might just be because this is like so new internet that I'm like no, I don't I like have a hard time picturing what you're talking about or understanding what it is. So if you're comfortable and you want to like fill us in and or me in a little bit about what that looks like or what some specs about it up to you. Could be that we could be more helpful to you and knowing that does that make sense? So up to you.