I'm not sure if I can prove God exists but I have seen many signs that allow for me to believe it's useful to believe in God and to be grateful to God for literally everything I have. Let me start by saying that I don't mean the God who is the grumpy old god and the Old Testament. I think that was actually basically extraterrestrials who came down and pretend to be gone in order to like get power or whatever. But I'm talking about the basically consciousness that pervades the universe. And this will completely fly in the face of anyone who believes that the brain is producing consciousness. This concept starts with the well CONSCIOUSNESS EXISTS first, regardless of physicality, and that the brain is basically a receiver of consciousness and a processor of sorts. So that's the one of the starting points of this little thing. So we've got this concept of the universe for example, and consciousness pervading the universe. And I've got this concept that about emotions. Let me see if I can put these together that
gosh, I can't prove it yet. But emotions seem to be like an interface from like, spirit down into physicality, a way to guide us. Now this is described as well by Esther Hicks via her entity Abraham and I've heard Teal Swan talking about this as well. I'm sure I've already written about the time that I determined as a teenager that emotions are important and that is the story about my granddad's jacket that he had died a couple years previous and my brother and I were all stoic and didn't cry. But then the asterisk to that story is that they had to bust out amazing grace on the bagpipes. Yep, I was doing fine until they busted out Amazing Grace. So both my brother and I both cried at the funeral when they played amazing grace but apparently, I didn't cry enough, because a couple of years later, I was basically in my dad's closet, probably looking for pornography or something. And I came across granddad's jacket his old army jacket, and I was like, Oh, that's interesting. And for whatever reason, I smelled the jacket or maybe I just, I could smell it. And suddenly, the tears were like bow, your granddad is gone. He's, he's, he's fucking he's dead. As a doornail he's gone. never see him again. And all of that, you know, impactful. emotion of sadness just hit me and after I cried and cried and got it all out. I was like, Now, where was that sadness for the past two years? That I wasn't aware of it. I couldn't feel it. You know, not consciously. And I was like, That's so interesting because you I could I could meet or talk to the cutest girl in the whole world. And two years later, I wouldn't remember nothing about that. Interaction. Probably as like, Huh. But the emotion stayed somewhere in full Technicolor feeling. perfectly preserved for the two some odd years. It's like it's as if the time component this simply didn't exist. And the motion we're just here from our my perspective, patiently waiting and was simply there when I accessed it. Then when I did access it, I cried. It went away. And it's like, Huh, okay, that's interesting. And I just like in that moment did determined that emotions are important. I didn't know why. But that was proof to me. Now, let me describe another story that happened some time ago. I've often played with lucid dreaming and as even as I write this book, Today is June 25 2023. As I write this book, I'm, I'm playing around with the idea of doing astral projection. And that's thanks to a book called Beyond dreaming by Jean someone I don't have the book in front of me. And more 20 years ago, I had this experience of being in a dream doing gymnastics, and in a, like a perfect Pike, you know, like my, my legs were straight. My My body was just kind of folded over so that my nose was touching my knees and in a dream, you know, weird things can be normal. But then I realized I was like, hang on. My body doesn't fold this way. I am not this flexible. I must be dreaming. And yet, I could feel through the sense called proprioception that my nose was touching my knees. And it was like, Huh, that's interesting. And I tried to like, guide me to move myself out of my body the rest of the way my legs were obviously out. And, or my top was, was out and my legs were in. But I was like, Okay, let's fly up to the ceiling. And I did like a like a reverse handstand or a headstand. And my legs were up in the air. My body was up in the air, but my head was still stuck in my head. And I thought, hmm, maybe I'm clenching. My teeth. So I slightly like I moved my jaw to unclench my teeth, when I don't know if it was actually clenched or not at that point, but that motion like ended the the experience of floating in the air and like, my, my body slowly, like, came down into my physical body. And I could feel the waves of I don't know what the word might be, but like pulsation or waves happening that are very commonly reported by people who are out of body. You can check on Reddit like astral travel, the rational projection, I'll put the subreddit in this thing. And yeah, so I had that experience. This is well before Reddit existed. And you know, I was like, Whoa, that was weird. You know, I was a very smooth transition of, you know, from that. Body, my me being my with my legs. pointing up at the ceiling and then transition smoothly down to being in my body and feeling those pulsations. And I was like, just kept my eyes closed. I memorized I memorized the situation in the sensation. And I have a little parenthetical phrase here. I'm just realizing that I have remembered this story for many, many years. And earlier in this thread, I was just saying, you know, how did the motion get memorized for two years? But this was a very conscious, intentional memorization. When I my body was out of my body whereas the emotional thing was completely automatic. I closed parenthesis, so anyway, I lay in bed for a bit and memorize the the experience. And it works express gratitude and was like your excitement. I'm not sure if I was doing gratitude in those days because I was really happy and I maybe wrote it down in my journal. And yeah, so it was a really cool little experience. That also some from that experience, I recognize that my consciousness is not inexorably tied to my physical body. There thereby I can I can surmise that they're, they're different. You know, my body isn't producing my consciousness my consciousness exists independently of my physical body. So, you know, why not extrapolate that, you know consciousness exists? And the physical bodies are just like faux SCI for consciousness to roam around and hang out in this physical space.
And so then, I'll just jump over to space time. Not that I can do any justice to explain in space time. All the recently I was watching a video of a guy with a tie, talking about how to visualize things in five dimensions, and I haven't gotten to the whole video yet. I might put that link in here as well. So yeah, I my rough, rough understanding is that, like, gravity doesn't exist as a force. And the dimensions of space and time can can be swapped in Maxwell's equations about the speed of light or the speed of causality. And oh, that, depending if we have to non what's the terminology, two events that are not causally related? There exists? A vantage point from which those two events occur at the same time. I think this is the right way to say it. This was this came up in Sabine hossenfelder talked about this recently, and what's also a wasn't Sabine, anyway, that so basically, it comes back to the block universe that the universe just exists, and time is a static dimension because everything happens, all things are at the same time. And so this points to we don't know what the hell is going on. You know, it sure seems to me like time goes tick, tick, tick, through its thing. So I, I'm experiencing myself traveling through the dimension of time, but apparently, each thing that is non causally related, can have happened at the same time. From any perspective, we choose, and that's also kind of weird, like so. I'm speaking into my microphone which is putting go into the phone going to a server on otter.ai and going to copy to the NSA, wherever else and whoever else is listening and then it's sending words back to my phone. And you know, it's all magically delicious and all causally related. So, I don't know how I can actually apply it to some things that are not causally related, and is it the case that just that they have to be in separate light cones or can just be that my wife is talking downstairs, and I'm talking upstairs about different topics, and she can talk for an hour and I'll talk, you know, I've been talking for 10 minutes. And so, are we causally unrelated? I don't know this is going as well beyond my understanding of all this time. stuff. But that's not what I'm here to talk about.
They say we like God is not conceivable, like, infinitely. And again, it's not like the the Christian God or the or whatever God you want to think about but this concept of consciousness and I've just come to realize that by guiding my intention toward good or toward love or toward the selflessness and toward gratitude. My life has been better. And I'm not really sure how it works, but this has been written in many, many, many different books. Like think Think and Grow Rich is the same topic that I'm talking about. The what's the other one? I can remember right now, that I said many, many, many I can only think of one and zero others. But it Oh, the the there's a little red book that a woman read reads in about 20 minutes on YouTube. I'll maybe put a link to that. It's like, this stuff works and you can ignore it or not, or use it or not. It's just really, really interesting that the like, like the basketball basketball players passing the basketball and there's some white betting players wearing white jerseys and some players wearing black jerseys. And you're meant to count how many passes the players wearing white jerseys make and I had an experience. When I was up in Oregon, i i My host gave me some marijuana cookies and I was like cool, and I won. He said if you don't feel anything, you'd have here some more. He puts some more on the counter like six others and I ate all six other cookies. I had seven altogether as i Whoa, I can feel it now. And in that moment, I like I caught I realized that I was caught by Satan. That I had been duped into this situation whereby Satan had had created the whole universe so that I would have this experience of time running forwards and backwards at the same time, so that Satan could prove that he was powerful enough to run time in both directions at the same time. And I was trapped in this time loop and like oh no, what am I going to do you know, my life is over. And I don't know how many minutes that experience went on. But the my host had a dog and the dog came up to me. Oh, and I realized that my host was Satan actually it turned out and so he had a dog and I said all right, the dogs not in on it. I you know, I I believe that dogs are pure love and goodness and they have best intentions in mind. So I like lean i the dog like sniffed my hand. Or something. I pet the dog and link leaned down as a balloon. You know, given the dog letting the dog lick my face, which I normally wouldn't never do is like ooh, dog terms. But by doing that, I kind of broke the spell so to speak, I focused on loving on the dog, instead of like fearfully like, Oh, I'm trapped. And I had this like, just don't have you have a good enough vocabulary word here. This incredible experience that focusing on love viscerally changed my experience for the good and focusing on fear viscerally changed my experience toward the negative toward feeling bad and feeling scared. And it was as if the like, I was like, like, if stand in between two mirrors. And you see him in like a bunch of versions of yourself in this like, Oh, wow. And you tilt one mirror a little bit, and then it just curves off toward infinity. And that's kind of what it seemed like, you know, if I tilt my focus toward love just a little bit it's just simply amplifies toward love. Like in toward infinity and like those mirrors and likewise if I focus my intention toward anger or hate or fear, just a little bit it gets amplified toward infinity and like an immediate sense. And as whoa do do such a visceral experience, and I felt so grateful to have had the experience it was very well worth a few minutes of fear thinking I've been trapped by Satan. In order to have this experience of realizing how bloody important it is to have a positive outlook or to like, focus on anything positive and this is the same my version of the same thing that Esther Hicks talks about all the freakin time. If you can't change anything, just go along for the ride instead of fighting it. But if there's I'm just begging if there's any possible thing about what you can be grateful. express that gratitude. Recently, new paragraph recently, I have been offering up gratitude to daddy and in the you a program under earners anonymous, it's a 12 step program they've saved you know, bring God as you understand God into your life kind of thing. And recently, I've been playing with this idea of like God is Daddy. Like the dad who will never get mad at me and who will always be there for me and Baba Baba blah. And I'm just saying thank you, daddy so many times every day that like go outside and just you know it's chilly air, but the sun is beautiful. That clear sky was beautiful. And to say thank you, daddy. Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Daddy. Just on repeat. For all the blessings that I do experience in my life. Right now. I'm like literally sitting on this magical phone. I don't have to use my fingers to type and it's like, wow, thank you, daddy. This amazing device is available for me. And I also have the option to say well this phone is kind of old and it doesn't take very good pictures. I could focus on all of that. And just like Louie CK has a you know a little segment skit. I don't know what the word is like a little gag. He's like your people just say oh, this phone sucks. How was your flight was okay, you know, he's like you jumped into a magical tube and flew over the the into the air. is how it is and he simply says it. And we just downplay all the amazing stuff that's in our lives. And through this, these words I'm just dude, just, if you can possibly up play the amazing things in your life. expressing the gratitude for the things that you have in your life that that are beautiful and an amazing and even not quite what you want but good enough, you know? And yeah, I'm I'm a you know, a white guy from America and all that. But what am I going to do? This is what I can do. And
I'm just grateful for the daily blessings that I have here. Like being able to, you know, have this fresh air being able to have support accountability with my with my buddy from the men's group His name is spelled l e s ze K. I doubt the same could transcribe it. Let's check. Wrote let's check. Anyway, um Yeah, it's just amazing that I can say these words and they're being transcribed into into text and so just having that gratitude I've heard recently that the this this came from who Trevor Noah was talking about the the comedy of, of Corona. He's like, talking about the the peoples in Africa are not having bad effects from Corona. They're like what that finished ages ago. And it's like yeah, because there's so many blessings that are available in the natural world. So I can be like, you know, oh, wow, this computer is so great. Or I can focus on Oh, well, I have to worry about Corona. You know? And so I posit it does not matter where one is in the world. There's always blessings to be found. And yeah, just have to look and be aware somehow, and the stories of people who who survived, you know, all different tragedies and stuff are the ones that just kept their mind. Positive somehow. I do think it's a choice and I'm probably going to wrap this up because I'm rambling here but uh, all of this pointing to gratitude to the creator the you know, you can decide that there's no God. And for a while I did when I was in new high school or whatever it was, but just not like looking around and oh would do the magic of DNA or whatever. You know, because I'm not a philosopher, but there's just so many benefits that I've experienced by being willing to say thank you to the higher power for that which I experience in the world. And it's, it's making my life better. I'm really, really enjoying this, like, creating a relationship with my higher power. And it doesn't have to be a specific brand of Jesus or Mohammed or Buddha or whoever. In my case, right now it's Daddy. And I'm just like, Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Daddy. So much benefit and beauty beauty in the world around me. I'm so so grateful for that. So yeah. Let me pause this. I'm going to get it over into my actual journal, and then have another call with let's check in 10 minutes. Okay, thanks a lot and see you well. Oops, see you later. Be well, bye
