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093_Being_Fat_and_Disabled_or_Living_With_a_Chronic_Condition: Otter Voice Meeting Notes

093_Being_Fat_and_Disabled_or_Living_With_a_Chronic_Condition

Vinny Welsby49min

Speaker 1

00:00

You're listening to the face value podcast episode 93 Being fat, and disabled or with a chronic condition, let's do it. I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fifth party who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop a negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast let's begin. Yo, Hello, welcome to this episode. Hey, if you listen to episode 92 Oh my gosh, she would a nightmare. I want to apologize about the the sound and the if you watch the video, the the video, I was like, what is it? What is the name of the video, the video, the visual, the visual and the audio? I had such a pallava you would not believe so I record on two different devices, just in case the other one fails. And so my laptop records mainly it's the audio because I plug in my mic to that and then also record the video. And then I have my phone which records the video which is I use a video from my phone because it's better than the video from my Mac. My brand new Mac The video is all from it. Anyway. And so I then if the if the audio fails on my laptop, then I still have the audio from my phone. But guess what, last week, last podcast both failed at different times. And I didn't realize it until the end. And so my video on my laptop was frozen because I'm not looking at the video while I'm recording. I'm looking at my notes. And so I need like press stop record. And then I'm like, why is it frozen? And then I looked at my phone and I was like, Why has my phone? Why is it black? And my phone had just stopped recording to I was like what the fuck? What another fucking chances of this. And so then I went back and re recorded parts of the podcast and the end. Guess what? Both of them fucking failed again at different times. And so I've got patches of audio from my phone patches of audio from an video from my laptop and it's just all over the place. And it was like a really noisy day in the neighborhood. And the birds was screeching and there was lots of trucks and so and so I was like, oh fuck, like, I didn't want to record her a third time because it was like a Friday afternoon. I was like, No, I can't I just have to send it to my podcast editor and hope that they work some magic. So maybe you might be like, I don't know what you're talking about. Victoria was perfect. Or might you might be like, Yeah, I heard it and it was it was shit. I don't want to be like this is one podcast I used to listen to all the time was this murder podcast. And it was this Canadian guy. I

Speaker 1

03:54

can't remember the name of it. It's like a really popular one. But I stopped listening to it because he would interview guests on like a house phone or new as a house phone because you know the sound you can hear when a chord is straining. And and then the guests would often be on a house phone too. And the audio was so shit. It was absolutely hilarious, like hilariously bad. And all the reviews for the podcast would be like, may buy a mic. Like you've got a podcast that's getting listened to by hundreds and 1000s of people buy a $30 mic really please we'll buy one for you. And he was just like whatever I just like the low quality of it. But yeah, I don't like the low quality of I don't like I don't I want you to be able to listen and not be distracted by you know, she warrior. Anyway, so I've got my fan running right now and so I'm like I hope I hope we don't hit the fan too much because it's it's H A W t TT again in Vancouver, so I got a haircut. Oh my haircut Pallavas my friends at the dog park were making fun of me because you know my last hair co went absolutely hilariously bad. If you saw the pictures on Instagram I need to just put the I need to put them up on put like hair cut saga because I've had so many hair, hair disasters from when I first shaved my head, dyeing my scalp, dark purple and it not coming off for days and having to then re bleach my head, my skin to get it off from it this new hairdresser that's just absolutely wild with I don't know, they don't like don't know cemetery anyway. And so my friends at the dog park were making fun of me and said, Okay, we need to you need to go to this actual proper salon because the thing is, I've got a problem with paying 200 bucks every two months to cut my hair. That's the thing with short hair is you think oh short hair is like no problem. You don't have to do anything with it. You can just wake up and then that's it. But no, because you have to get a fucking haircut every 12 seconds. And and then if you dye your hair, then you know that's a billion dollars. And so I'm like I can I can handle every six months paying 200 bucks 300 bucks for a haircut. But every two months, I'm like, Ah, can I just go to like a barber and get it done for like 15 bucks or 20 bucks or whatever. Anyway, and so I went to this proper salon voted the best in Vancouver but it's not, don't worry. It's not too not too expensive. My haircut was 60 bucks. And then with tip was 80 something like that. Anyway, and so the haircut was fine. It was fine. It was it was a competent haircut. It was I wasn't you know, having water sprayed on my back like the other hairdresser. I wasn't getting randomly dyed brown blobs in the back of my head like another hairdresser. I wasn't being given tight Ringlock perm curls, like another anyway, it was a it was a competent haircut. But I experienced like gender dysphoria because I don't know if you know, if you've not listened to the episode, but last month I came out as non binary. And, and so I'm a new I'm like a baby non binary in the world, experiencing and feeling noticing how things make me feel and I'm working out what to do about it. Because the PERT the hairdresser perceived me as a woman, right? I look pretty feminine. I'm a woman in people's eyes. And in my brain. I'm like, I'm not I'm I'm non binary. And so first thing I said, Oh, can I this is the heck I want. And I showed her a picture and the back of the person's hair was really short, like shaved like maybe a zero. And then fading up to maybe like a four or something. And so you know, maybe fading up to a centimeters length and then at the top lots of long longish hair.

Speaker 1

08:00

And she was like, oh, yeah, fine. And then when we got back from the beautiful head massage that she gave me. She was like, Oh, actually, instead of shaving why don't I just use scissors and feather it because I think it'll look even better. And I was like, okay, yeah, sure, no problem. And, and then throughout the haircut, I realized that the reason why she didn't want to shave it is because feathering with her scissors would make it look more feminine. And she talked a lot about, oh, this is gonna look really feminine and things like that. And I was so kind of like, oh, I don't know what to say. Because I'm new at this, right? It's like, I guess how a lot of people feel when they experienced fatphobia out in the wild, and they're new to they're new to not tolerating fatphobia. And so the first times that happens, they're like, oh, yeah, oh, LOL fat people or whatever, you know. And so that's what I kind of felt like, I didn't want to be like, Oh, actually, I'm non binary. And I don't want to be, I don't want a feminine haircut. And I was just like, and then thinking, well, if she gives me the haircut that I want, then it's fine. It doesn't matter if she thinks it looks feminine. And at the end of it, she was like, Oh, you look like a brand new woman. And look, I've made it like this. So it's more feminine. And I was just like, oh God, oh God, because I really don't like any type of length on the bottom of my hair. Like I want it to be zit, like zip no hair at the bottom, like you know around the ears and at the bottom of your of your hairline. I don't want any and I was saying to her during the hair cut like, I can't wait for you to cut my hair because I hate feeling any hair at the back of my neck or around my ears. I just want it completely gone. And and it's an it's in. It's still long. And so in that in those moments I couldn't I couldn't stand up for myself and it wasn't she's not being rude, right you know all times people who violate a boundary. They're not being rude. And so it's sometimes it can be hard to be like less than up here and mother. Whereas, you know, like with fat phobic stuff, I'd be like, Oh, okay, yeah, that's not you know, because I'm so I'm so well versed of it and I'm still new at this gender stuff. And so I've come up with a solution. So, next time I get a haircut, I'm going to go back to this place, because you know that that was nice. It was nice. It wasn't too expensive. I'm going to when I met my appointment over the phone, I'm going to say my name is what Victoria and my pronouns are they them and I am non binary, can you let the hairdresser know that? And then when and just in case that they don't, you know, make a note of it or whatever. When I arrive at the hairdresser's I'm just gonna say, oh, sorry, I didn't, I forgot to ask what are your pronouns? And then the hairdresser will say, she her whatever. And I'll say, oh, cool, minor, they then I'm non binary. And then I'm going to start then a conversation about what that means to me and why I don't want to look feminine and things like that. So that's my, that's my thing. And so I think I'm going to, that's what I'm going to try and do is, is in my mind, just normalize asking pronouns because it should be normal anyway to ask pronouns and I'm, I'm fucking up right now by saying, she as a hairdresser, I didn't ask their pronouns. I'm just presuming because of what my eyeballs told me that the hairdresser identifies as a woman. I don't know. Right? I'm doing it. I'm doing the same thing. And then I'm complaining that they perceive me as a woman. Anyway, so I'm going to see how that see how that goes. Also, I had like, dysphoria looking at gender dysphoria looking at there was a podcast I did maybe a month ago when it was like the hottest weather that's ever been in the world. Right in my living room.

Speaker 1

12:11

I wore a pink dress to record the podcast and you can only see like the the top straps of it. But seeing the video on my Instagram, I did like a little audiogram of the video. Really? I was just like, oh, not Oh, my me and my looks but IRL at seeing me in this literally pink frilly dress. It's literally a pink frilly dress. And I bought that fucking dress because during doing online dating, and successfully doing online dating, and thinking, what if a sis hat guy asks me on a date? I don't have anything pink or frilly to convince him that I'm feminine. Even though I don't want to be perceived as feminine. I want to say oh look No Look at me I'm so I'm so dainty and oh I'm so I'm so much of a woman and you don't need to be afraid of me like even though I'm non binary I'm just a woman really in home. You know, like man, what why why and I'm realizing like, oh Victoria, and that's the thing is a big thing that I'm struggling with with non binary nurse is the way that I'm perceived by sis hitman. Like the idea of me embracing my non binary status is going to like that's the final straw. That's it. I never know says Hitman is ever going to find me attractive ever again. Because I've I've turned into this thing that's really gross. You know, like, I've embraced my fatness, and so shouldn't be ashamed of my fatness and I've got short hair and shouldn't I want to be feminine and have long hair and now I'm like Oh, I'm non binary and I don't want to wear that pink frilly dress you know today or whatever. And shouldn't I just at least make up for the fact that I've I'm fat with short hair and blah blah blah by wearing a pink frilly dress and by the way, you know I when I say makeup for I don't think that having short hair or being fat are bad things but I'm I'm thinking about the way that some says that men might perceive me you know? And so this is all my own shit. This is all my own shirts fucking transphobia and fatphobia are all mixed together for me to be like, I need to buy a pink dress so that there's non existent cuz I don't have a day coming up. Says Hitman is gonna be like, Oh, this is a weapon even though I don't I'm not and I don't want to be perceived as a woman. Oh, Lord. So, anyway, I was watching a cool video last night about non binary stuff. And one of the things that they said is trying out because I was feeling you know, like this. When I say dysphoria, like, it feels like just yuckiness of, of, that's the word I want to use, like yucky like blur, like, it's just wrong, you know, it's something feels wrong. You know, like seeing me in a dress, like it might be like, if you dress in a certain way, seeing you dressed totally different, that's not you. And it's not like I've not worn dresses before of course, I have many you know, and, but this dress was like particularly feminine. Anyway, so and so the the two non binary this awesome non binary lesbian couple made this video, I just went and bought a sticker from the Etsy site, obey them. Holographic sticker. Like wherever I'm gonna stick it oh my god. Anyway, so they were saying about a little tip about trying a new name. So my name is Victoria. But actually, you're what most of my life I have been known as Vinny. And this might be news to you, because I've always just referred to myself as Victoria and coming to Canada. coming to Canada, I fell out of calling myself Victoria because I'm calling myself Vinny. Because in England, there's, there's a kind of culture of saying, Oh, what's your name? You know, like, say, if you're in a work setting, what's

Speaker 1

16:39

your name? Victoria. Okay, what do you go by? And so it's really common for people to say, but what do you go by like, and so if I said, my name is Victoria, say, you know, if I was applying for a job, I'd like my name is Victoria. But I go by Vinnie. And so everyone would call me Vinnie, and loads of people have nicknames and the UK rates really, really normal. And so when I came here, it wasn't, I was like, I don't want to be unprofessional and have a nickname because no one else no one else has nicknames here. And so I kind of just started just referring to myself as Victoria and I think all my younger non bright binary brain knew that Vinny was more me, you know, because my nickname I chose a nickname. I was the one who came up with a nickname. And, and so obviously, I wanted something that was, you know, it's not it's not a woman's name, right. Vinny vi N NY Vinny? Well, maybe it's some in some places, but Vinnie is traditionally a man's name, and I chose that as my nickname. And so anyway, one of the tips they said is that when you're ordering coffee, try out this name and see how it feels. It's like low stakes, low stakes trying out this and so that's what I'm going to do next time I go and get coffee. I'm going to save any and see what it see what it sounds like when they when they say Vinnie Yeah, and so and as well. I like I like variations of Vinnie, like so many. Even my, you know, boyfriends when I was in the UK would call me Vinnie. Or were one boyfriend would call me V dog. Or there was VW Licious or Vincenzo mozzarella, or just v dub. I think V dub is like the the kind of the one that I'm like most like because V dub as in. My last name's Welsby. So Doug was in W. So maybe V dub is the I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But then I'm like, No, you can't have that. That's not professional. Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll be changing my name. Maybe not. Maybe people who are close to me will call me. Vinny Aveda or whatever, VW shirts. Maybe people who don't know me will call me that. But

Unknown Speaker

19:06

then people who do know me or call me Victoria, will say, Oh, maybe I'll hear it. And I'm like, Oh, thanks.

Speaker 1

19:13

Yeah. So on the flip side of that, you know, having that despair, dysphoria of you know, people perceiving me as a woman in this time, and this month or two that I've been, I've been out as non binary. I've heard people refer to me as they and it's so affirming. Like I did this this course and the course the person leading the course was like, Victoria they did this and blah blah and I was like, Oh, God, it's like they see me and respect me and and it feels like for years I've been using the wrong name. And then you know, as in she her, invade them like I've been using the wrong name and finally someone's got caught, you know, called me the right name. And someone says my Right, my correct name and it's like, Oh, it feels great. That's really cool. So, yeah, so there's some agenda updates for you what's going on with my non binary exploration fun times. But I looked at I looked at this time and I managed to spot it's crashing not on my laptop, quick time. What the fuck is his problem, man, like, this is a new frickin MacBook Air that I bought in January is August now. And I'm having to go to my old laptop that is five, six years old to record videos like, what the heck this is I need to I don't know what the what is what is wrong with it. Just take it to the to the Apple store. But like, let's say, a mad, I'm right when my phone hasn't my phone hasn't forgotten. And that is also new. What in January is a little stuff when I got back to Vancouver. Anyway, the this episode is about being fat and also disabled or with a chronic condition living with a chronic condition. And so let's talk about that juicy stuff. So in case you're not familiar, chronic condition. What that is, Wikipedia says a chronic condition is a human health condition or disease that is persistent or otherwise long lasting in its effects or a disease that comes with time. The term chronic is often applied when the course of the disease lasts for more than three months. And so some examples of conditions. Arthritis, arthritis, asthma, celiac disease, Crohn's disease, cystic fibrosis, depression, diabetes, eds, epilepsy, heart disease, HIV AIDS, IBS, lupus, muscular muscles, multiple sclerosis, schizophrenia, ulcerative colitis. So I've got I've got depression, IBS. Asthma. Yeah, that's it from that, that, that list. Anyway, and there's lots of that's, that's not it, there's lots of different things. And so, yeah. So a lot of the time, I want to talk about this, because I see this coming up again, and again, and again, with clients, clients who are living with a chronic condition or a disability, and them struggling with the idea of why can't I just love my body, you know, I followed the advice, and I've appreciated, you know, the things that my body is doing for me versus the way it looks and, and I just don't like it. And the advice of just love your body, when your body doesn't do the things that you want it to do is not helpful advice. It's not helpful advice. And, and the, the, the idea of, you might, you might be disabled or have a chronic condition, but just appreciate what it can do. At least it's keeping you alive. That's not helpful, either. It's given me really kind of gaslighted vibes. Being like, just appreciate it what it can do. And just just love it. Just love it. Come on now. It reminds me of people giving shitty apologies. You know, like when we when we hear internet scandals, or I fell in love an internet scandal? Don't

Speaker 1

23:42

you know? You know, when people give really shitty apologies. And they're like, I'm so sorry, you were offended. And, uh, no apology is so shitty because they don't get they don't understand why what they did was fucked up or whatever. And they aren't acknowledging the hurt that they've caused. And they're not saying, Oh, I'm going to try and be better or whatever. And so that's what kind of like what it feels like to me. Like, it's like, Oh, I'm so sorry, you mad, just get over it. And it's kind of it kind of feels like, just get over it. Just go on if I can just love your body already gone. Just, Oh, why you still complaining about this? You know? And it's like, well, I'm still complaining because I don't feel like you're, you know that this is resolved. You know? Oh, I spent so many years trying to trying to forgive people in my family for shitty behavior, when they were still doing the shitty behavior and for years, I've like I come I skip it, forgive them. And one day my therapist said was like, well, because they're still doing fucking shitty stuff. And they've never apologized in the first place. So what how are you going to be the bigger person and be like, You know what, I'm just gonna lie Go when they're still behaving badly against you. Yeah. So as well if you have multiple things going on and so if you have like one chronic condition or if you have two or three and you're disabled and you're fat and other things are going on you know other marginalized identities and we have to contend with a fat phobic society to like what that that that is so hard that is so hard to do with that stuff wrestling with the messages we're hearing it from the outside world which is ableist and, and and fat phobic and all kinds of fucked up and then trying to convince yourself internally like listen to all of those messages and then having the experience of your body being like ah, lol I'm going to do you know make you feel like shit it's no wonder it's no wonder that people are struggling to love and accept like anything their bodies when all of that is going on like shit. Shit. Oh. And just an FYI, what ableism I use that word ableism. Wikipedia says ableism is discrimination and social prejudiced against people with disabilities and or people who are perceived to be disabled. Ableism characterizes people who are defined by their disabilities as inferior to the non disabled. So access living.org ableism one on one. So give you some examples of what ableism in this. What does ableism look like? So ableism can take many forms including lack of compliance with disability rights laws like the ADEA, segregating students with disabilities into separate schools, the use of restraint or seclusion as a means of controlling students with disabilities. Failing to incorporate accessibility into building design plans, buildings without Braille on signs, elevator buttons, etc. Building inaccessible building inaccessible websites, the assumption that people with disabilities want or need to be fixed, using disability as a punchline or mocking people with disabilities refusing to provide reasonable accommodations, the eugenics movement of the early 1900s The mass murder of disabled people in Nazi Germany, and it continues, what about every day or minor ableism? What does that look like? So every day ableism looks like choosing an inaccessible venue for a meeting or event therefore excluding some participants, using someone else's mobility device as a hand or foot rest, framing disability as either tragic or inspirational in new stories, movies, and other popular forms of media, casting a non disabled actor to play a disabled character in a play movie, TV show, or commercial, making a movie that doesn't have audio description or closed captioning.

Speaker 1

28:17

Using the accessible bathrooms door when you're able to use a non accessible store without pain or risk of injury, wearing scented products in a scent free environment, talking to a person with a disability like their child talking about them instead of directly to them or speaking for them asking invasive questions about their medical history or personal life of someone with a disability, assuming people have a disability a visible disability to actually be disabled presuming assuming people have to have a visible disability to be actually disabled questioning if someone is actually disabled or how much they are disabled, asking how did you become disabled. So that's ableism for you. So we live in a neighborhood world and we're able to we're able to slime ableist and so that's another layer right? That living in a world that is his ableist. And so I think that you need to know we need to turn towards the idea. Like embrace the idea of it sucks. It's not okay, it's sucks to have a body that isn't doing the things that you want it to do. And look at that head on and not not try and kind of sweep it under the carpet and be like because it doesn't work. You know, just forcing yourself to be positive when you don't feel that way is probably not very helpful for you. I know it's not helpful for me. So something that you might want to do is You could write a fuck you letter to your body. Or even like just thinking it's just think about like, what does that? How does that feel? If you did if you were to write a car, like fuck you for making it so that I can't do this and make me feel like this and then why can't you just be able bodied? And why can't you know? Thinking about that? Or actually doing that? Could that be helpful for you? Or writing a thank you letter to society for being able to some fat phobic? Could that be helpful? You might say, You know what, actually, I don't want to say fuck you to my body because it has tried and does help me a lot of times. And that's fine, that's fine. That's some people's reactions. And sometimes just the idea of writing a fuck EULA areas is enough for people to to be given that permission to feel mad at their bodies. It's okay, right? We don't have to walk around being like, I feel that Beyonce all the time, my body is amazing. Because sometimes, you know, that's not the reality. And some, for some people, that's not the reality most of the time. So. And as well, we live in a world even if you are able bodied, we live in a world that expects humans to be machines, right? Like, our worth, and our self esteem being tied in with how productive we are. For a lot of people I know for me being productive, gives me lots of self esteem, being like, working and being reliable. And as I am such a good person because of it to the detriment of my physical and mental health. I'm working on that so hard. But it's so difficult to deprogram yourself about the idea of being a valuable member of society, if you take a nap. Like, you're not less of a human being if you're not productive. And actually, this week, I was I was speaking to my therapist about this idea, I've got trauma around sleep. And I just realized it like how a lot of times when I'm sleeping, I wake up and my heart is beating really fast or wake up and I'm like, ooh, or a lot, a lot of like maybe 10 Different incidences that happened to me while I was asleep, that has told my brain that sleeping is not safe. And, and, and, and the other side of it is this, this deep kind of is in my family of, of work hard, work hard. You know, even at the end of the day, doesn't matter. Just keep going to the sunsets and even then, you know, don't realize don't rest, don't relax. Because if you don't, then you are less of a person than someone who is not working 24/7 And so this idea of

Speaker 1

33:14

a deep shame that I feel when I sleep, and I'm happy to be on alert of like, why you sleeping Vittoria why you sleeping when you should be working. And that's even more prominent when I'm having a nap. Like if I get if I'm tired and I need to nap or I just want to Napal napping sounds fun. Often I'll wake up and be like, Oh my god, what have I missed? What am i What did what did I do I need to get up? Come on, get up and be productive. And that's, that's ableism right? And like trauma and stuff. So Oh, yeah. So why do we why are we you know, it's hard to be in a society that is telling you fat phobic stuff, and telling you ableist stuff, and whatever else is going on in your life, if you've got, you know, who all of the other cool stuff does, but as individuals and on top of that, we have all of these messages that losing weight is going to make us healthy. So, perhaps you have been told that weight loss is going to relieve symptoms that you might be experiencing and how can we live a fat body that we have been told is a source of or contributing to our pain? How can we be intuitive eaters, when depending on your condition, certain type of foods are villainized and even even without certain conditions, food is still villainized. In these cases are internalized fat phobia or ableism is really hammered into us thinking kind of like, oh, maybe if I wasn't so lazy and last way I would feel better, you know, maybe if maybe if I was, if I wasn't so greedy and bla bla bla, then then I wouldn't have experienced this. And understandably, a lot of folks will choose to pursue weight loss. If they have a chronic condition or disability, if they feel like it could alleviate some symptoms, any symptoms, it is so hard to detangle, fatphobia and ableism. From what could actually help with symptoms. So here's an example of what I'm talking about with that. An example from Christy Harrison's newsletter that she sent this week titled, What about sugar and diabetes? So if you have diabetes,

Speaker 1

35:59

you know, the idea of, well, maybe if I wasn't fat, I wouldn't have it. It I would never have got it. I need to lose weight to manage it. I need to not eat sugar to manage it. I ate my my way to diabetes. So this is what Christie says. And if you're not subscribed to Christy's newsletter, then what are you even doing with your life? Go to Christy harrison.com to subscribe. So, for anyone out there who already has diabetes, there's good news, in the words of the 2016 reviews, authors. So before this paragraph, Christy was talking about all these different reviews about just sugar cause, you know, can you have sugar and being dive and be diabetic? And the answer is, yeah. So now this is does sugar cause diabetes. So, surprisingly, despite a common assumption that sugar must be hazardous for people with type two diabetes. The evidence says otherwise cutting out and then continuing cutting out severely limiting or severely limiting sugar generally isn't advised or needed. And in fact, it could backfire by putting you in a restrict binge cycle that's ultimately riskier for your health than simply learning to have a peaceful and balanced relationship with sugar. Also, an interesting recent small study showed that for people with type two diabetes and glucose responds to perceived sugar intake more than actual sugar intake. Specifically, when participants were given a beverage labeled as being high sugar, their blood glucose levels rose more than when they were given a beverage labeled as being low sugar, even though the drinks were actually identical. This was the This was especially true for people whose eating is governed by external cues rather than internal ones. In fact, the labeling had no effect once the researchers controlled for external eating. This raises the possibility that reading nutrition labels and eating according to external cues, may complicate the management of type two diabetes. And we know from other research that intuitive eating is associated with better management of the disease, regardless of weight. So that stigma that people feel around sugar can be detrimental. And it's not helpful. Yeah, and so this before all of this is like, can you have sugar and some studies was showing that in fact, having more sugar was better for people with type two diabetes, and some were saying, having a little bit less, and some were saying, just stick to what you were doing before. Right. So so the information is kind of like, we don't know. Yeah, so So as well here, we have to think about the idea that we blame our selves and our fatness, for our chronic conditions often not always, or disabilities. So we can blame ourselves fat people especially Oh, walking around with a less shame, especially if it's a as if it's perceived in society as a quote unquote, fat condition. And so like, you know, type two diabetes would be one of them. And all of the shame that comes from that and the I told you so those like ringing around your head of people being like, wow, look at you, you're fat and now look, you have whatever told you and the if only I was seeing this wouldn't have happened running around our heads. but we don't need to feel the shame, right? When we educate ourselves on what causes these things. I mean, it's just bananas to me. So for example, okay, so Hayes health sheets, so hey, J. S Health sheets.com. If you don't know this website, you need to get there. I've mentioned it a few times on the podcast. It's amazing. And it's like, what the heck, you know, type two diabetes? Well, everyone knows that's pause because you're fat and you'll be in too much sugar. Ah, let's have a look at type two diabetes and what causes it? A number of factors can contribute to an increased risk of type two diabetes, including weight cycling,

Speaker 1

40:48

yo yo dieting, and internalized weight stigma. But type two diabetes is predominantly a genetic condition. Let me repeat that for a dominantly genetic condition. While much fat phobic misinformation floats around, you cannot eat your way into type two diabetes, and it affects people of all sizes. Getting type two diabetes isn't your fault. It does not indicate that you have done anything wrong. It is simply a fairly common health condition. Oh, what's that now? Oh, that's very strange. That's not you didn't cause it because you're so fat and greedy. Oh, let's have a look at another one. PCOS polycystic ovarian syndrome. What is it? What causes it? While there is still a lot that we don't know about the causes of this condition PCOS is a complex genetic trade where 70% heritability heritability environmental factors that interact with genes also likely to play a part including in some cases in utero exposure to higher than average levels of androgens. Insulin resistance is an important underlying mechanism in the development of PCOS symptoms. People with the ovaries on testosterone are more likely to have PCOS. Ah, and so, okay, so it's our fault that we have PSP CLS, oh, no, it isn't. And to treat it, you need to lose weight, right? No. How is it treated? medications, supplements? And sir and some nutritional interventions, increasing protein with meals might be helpful. Oh, well, that's weird. That's very strange. What? Okay, what about sleep apnea, obstructive sleep apnea? Now, it's definitely because people are fat, right. So, what causes it? There are several causes of obstructive sleep apnea, decrease in upper airway muscle function, structural upper airway factors, that includes cranial facial structure, which is which is often hereditary, soft tissue structure, including tongue size, pharyngeal walls and soft tissue of the neck, often hereditary fluid in soft tissues of the neck caused by medical conditions. Oh, so hang on. It's not it's not because people are so fat and horrible. Oh, weird. Right, right, right. Right. Right. And so. So that's Hayes health sheets, the library there, you can just go check it out. It's inquiry. Bo, I love it. Link in the show notes. Obviously, everything that I talked about, there's always going to be a link in the show notes. If you want the show notes specifically for this episode. It's facebook.com forward slash 093. If you forget the episode number, it's you can just go to forward slash podcast and you'll find it right there. So if you are fat, and also disabled, or have a chronic condition, being told to just lie, just go ahead and love yourself, okay, is not helpful. We have internalized fat phobia, phobia, and ableism we have a ton of shame and blame. And we have a world that echoes those feelings are Right back at ya. And so yeah, saying, just love your body ain't gonna help. Right? It's not gonna help. We need to embrace those feelings of sadness, of anger of pain or frustration about how we feel about what our bodies are able to do or not able to do. And, and move towards those feelings instead of kind of just trying to push them down, push them down, because we should just love our body. Right? We should just just get on with it and just wear a bikini and shut up and don't worry about it. And and think about all of the things that your body can do. Well,

Speaker 1

45:27

yeah, I mean, no. I mean, like, if you've gone if you really examined it, and you've, you've you've, you've gone through, and done a ton of work on this stuff, and maybe you can get to that point. But using that point as a starting place, I don't think is helpful for most people. And I think what is helpful is acknowledging that living in a society that is super Abel is super fat phobic. And then trying to learn to love and accept your body is really fucking hard. And so I just want to acknowledge that, that if you are struggling with accepting your body, and you're disabled, or you have a chronic condition, then it's kind of like, I'm not surprised, right? I am not surprised. And with the chronic conditions that I have, it's a it is so can be so frustrating. Why body are you not just being like other bodies and just doing this and when you're, you know, experiencing the the shittiness of having a chronic condition, you know, like the ones I have or disability or both. And if you have other marginalized identities, it's it's hard and it's exhausting and the whole world is echoing all of those feelings that you have inside about yourself. But just an FYI it's it's not your fault. It's not your fault. You don't need to feel that shame if you have shame about being fat and having a chronic condition of being disabled that's not your shame to to carry. Okay, so All right, well, I hope that you've enjoyed this episode by the way my fucking phone and second laptop also failed. What is going on? So my old laptop that has never failed? Well, it probably has but is reliable is so reliable, crashed halfway through this and so again, the audio is going to be weird because my phone was recording and then that one crashed. So I've had to record this outro from the diabetes thing again. It's getting on my fucking flaps is getting on my turrets I'm gonna have to buy a fucking camera or something. I'm gonna have to buy a camera why I've got this technology here. Why isn't why gang anyway. Okay, well thanks for hanging out with your day you stay face fatty and I will see you in a while alligator

Speaker 1

48:33

thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fattier Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body, then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again, that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens

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