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A Walk in the Wood [#6] | Otter.ai

A Walk in the Wood [#6]

Night Club1h 5min

Andrew Holecek

00:16

Hello everybody. I am here to introduce our last session with Joe and to also before he comes on, make a gentle comment about Joe's doing this out of the generosity, Joanne Nan might have the generosity and goodness of their heart, obviously not charging for this. So, if you feel at all inspired, and he's going to click out a little link where if you feel inspired to make a contribution to them that would be, that would be awesome, and I think I think Winnie the Pooh. With Integrity would also appreciate it so I just wanted to say that, and to share it really from my perspective, I've so enjoyed this book, there's, There's such wisdom as Joe was repeatedly pointed out in simplicity, you know the complex mind doesn't stand a chance against simplicity and it's literally so beautifully disarming in that regard. So it's been a total delight for Joe and Nancy to offer their time to share this I think truly remarkable book with us all. And so, I also wanted to say in addition to a deep gratitude to them and all of you for attending that Andy and I in team nightclub, were kind of debating what to do next. Now what, when, and here's the, here's the thinking behind it. We were thinking we were originally given a week off and then go to the Dream Yoga Book. At the end of this month, but we're toying with the idea of postponing a little bit for a number of reasons we've been getting some requests to maybe do a little bit later, because everything is so open now that these are really long. Everybody celebrating the release of COVID. And so we're thinking that it might be a little bit more judicious like we did when we launched the dreams of light book study group. Last, I think we maybe September, when people started coming doors, they're just kind of more grooving on this. And so you can put in the column, a little vote yes let's wait until September. No Let's start over there, and I will definitely read it and we're actively considering that we want to do what's best for everybody, and right now we're starting to just play with the pros and cons of waiting until September. So, with that said, I will turn it over to Joe and and I think they are probably in the so called green room are ready to come on, and we're going to start talking Joe's has a little thing that we're going to riff on in terms of the the Winnie the Pooh. Dream scene from last time around so I'm going to hang around for just a second live I'll be here listening to make a comment or two about that. So are you guys there.

Joe P.

03:04

I am, let me make sure Nan comes there she is. Perfect timing, Perfect timing. Hi, everybody. Please, as we traditionally do put on your video and wave. Winnie the Pooh and Tigger to Yeah. I thought we could I. Nice, there was your, I thought, now that we have Andrew here, we could do a little reprise from last week if you if you recall, Winnie the Pooh had decided to take a nap. And on some lovely little moss and fell asleep under the branches of this, This weeping willow tree and the breeze was blowing the willow branches and leaves, across is coming in and before Punahou it He was fast asleep. He giggled softly as he dreamed that piglet was tickling his tummy. When he awoke, who realized that the willow branches, reaching down toward the forest floor, waving to and fro in the breeze, or what had been tickling him. So I wanted to ask Andrew about this phenomenon of, even though we're asleep, we experience things, and they work their way into our dreams. You know I, I know I've had dreams where I, I heard a police siren, and I woke up and it was my alarm clock. Yeah, exactly that worked its way in just perfect timing it just, it just kind of meshed in just at the same time with the dream.

Andrew Holecek

04:54

So yeah, yeah, this is super interesting, actually it's if there's some technical language behind it, it has to do a little bit with the call to the ticket system. But basically, it's a very interesting phenomena that Joe talks about, where there is this kind of trans state or you can almost say interstate commerce taking place right interstate commerce between two different states the waking state and the dreaming state, I can just give me one personal example and then I'll say something about how it's used for lucid dreaming. I, I'm a skier and I cannot tell you how many times I've had dreams where the room is really cold, of cold and snow and drains, and so this kind of interstate communication is taking place. It's part of, again part of the RNAs reticular activating system that keeps us a little bit on words. In an evolutionary way so that if there's footsteps heading towards us, we're not going to be chewed up by Tigger, though, the way it works here in the lucid dreaming thing is my dear friend Stephen the bears, you know, incredibly creative individual in the early 80s Maybe some of you who have explored this designed this dream goggles dream mask. I have the original one, the Nova dreamer. And what it does, it's so clever and I've used it with tremendous success is this little item officially pulled it out, it's like a little eye mask. It rests up against your eye. And it's so clever because when we're in REM, our eyes, rapid eye movement we're, our eyes are darting back and forth, little sensors in the mask pick up that movement. And then several different types of key signals will be sent, sometimes it's auditory. Sometimes it's just light flashing. And so, the way it's worked for me and this is it's worked with pretty good success so many times is I'll be dreaming. And, and then all of a sudden it's like well why is this person in front of me pumping his brake lights. Oh, my goodness, that's the light of the mask I must be dreaming, boom, I'm in. Or I'll be waiting it in a flashing red light. Why is that red lights flashing for so long. Oh my gosh, that's the dream mass flashing, I must be dreaming. And so we can actually start to do this we can start to clue ourselves in you don't have to buy these expensive masks like 250 bucks you can build one yourself, but you can actually start to clue in certain aspects of your experience, like keeping the room really cold, and seeing if in fact that triggers a dream of snow and ice, but you can say hey wait a second, this is exactly what I wanted to do, or the classic text, you can leave a light on the room soft light back and kind of have this interstate communication. And so Joe is writing about here has definite connections to what happens on the road and lucidity and this kind of interstate traffic. So, anyway, just wanted to say

Joe P.

07:48

thank you Andrew and I have a funny story to tell that this actually happened in Europe I was traveling with the Volta Region. One of our teachers. And he, he got a cold. And we were having dinner, and dinner. It was everything was running a little bit late as things sometimes do and those events, and the cold medicine that he'd taken before he was going to go give a talk, so he didn't want to be all stuffed up so he took some cold medicine, and he fell asleep at the table. And we said well what should we do you know, let's, let's wake him up gently and we'll go out on the balcony and get some fresh air. So we did and. And he said, Oh yeah, let's go out on the balcony, we go on the balcony, and he sits down and we're waiting for him to be ready to go and give the talk, and nothing's happening. And so finally I said, Sir, Would you like to go and give the talk and he says, What are you talking about. I said, well, the talk at the Dharma Center, he said, Why are you saying something crazy like that. I said what. But the talk, he said, I did that already. I said, Well, no, it last night. Yeah. But tonight we still have to, and he started getting a little unhappy with me and I said, No really, we have, he said, Are you, are you kidding. What had happened was he had fallen asleep, and was dreaming that he was giving the talk. And then he dreamt that he got, he met with some people afterwards and then got in the car we came back, and this is the interesting thing that our dreams, find a way to work, Somehow, how do they anticipate that this stuff is going to come in, it's almost like it's almost like pre experience that, and he dreamt that he was walking upstairs, came into the dining room, walk around behind the table and out onto the balcony, and it merged with him waking up and walking out onto the balcony. So when he got there he thought that he had given the talk already. Cuz the dream worked its way. And it's amazing how they, they mesh in there. So then we actually, the rest of the story is we went every step of the way that we went, he said, I did this already. I did this already. I gave the talk already. Do you want to meet with people afterwards. No, I did that already. And so, so we had a good laugh for for many years about. I did that already kind of thing. And it is amazing how our dreams. Work into our lives. Well, for our last session of the class and thank you all so much for your kind kind attention we're this is, this is our joy and you know it's going to a seventh printing, and we been invited to we sent in a proposal for sequel so there may be more stories coming. And I have a tree. Nancy found the center in a bookcase, brought it over. It's a compendium of all sorts of things, including some of the original sketches that never made it into into any of the million books, So I'll be showing you some things from that, as we conclude, where we left off, was Winnie the Pooh, had a lot of deep contemplations, and I just want to read the closing poem that we did before, Nancy introduces the next chapter, everything changes that doubtless is true, and nothing is separate from me or from you, the natural magic we find in the wood reflects our true nature. That's basically good. So we're going to go a little further with this idea of interdependence. As we continue our Chapter 15

Speaker 1

12:24

Chapter 15 love and gratitude through relationships we can experience the magic of everyday life. Who we are is very much a reflection of our connections with family, friends and colleagues, being genuinely present in our interactions with them, gives us the opportunity to learn about ourselves and practice kindness toward others

Joe P.

12:50

who continued his gently mindful journey through the wood. He soon came upon Kanga and Roo, who were playing and laughing. He stopped behind a tree to watch them Kanga swept through up in her arms as he hopped by, I caught you my little room. She cried. Then when he tried to climb onto a tree branch she called out, you can do it if you try, who could see that Kanga was as loving and nurturing as Rue was exuberant and playful. She gave him comfort and confidence while root, in return, brought Kanga joy and laughter, their gratitude and appreciation for each other was crystal clear, a little, a loving little rhyme came to poo

Speaker 1

13:41

playfully frolicking child and mother, thankful to have the love of each other, Kanga and roo share everything good. Happy Together, at home, in the woods. This is exactly how things should be with those we love.

Joe P.

14:01

For poo as he stepped out from behind the tree. Hello Kanga Hello poo. She said as he walked towards them. You look a bit different today. What have you been doing. Oh,

Speaker 1

14:16

just noticing, while walking in the woods and visiting friends

Joe P.

14:20

right sounds lovely.

Speaker 1

14:22

I appreciate all my friends, and I'm so grateful to have them,

Joe P.

14:27

you know, who you have a special magic about you. I do. What do you mean, you can see what someone needs, and you provide it with love.

Speaker 1

14:41

I just tried to help them find what they already have. And I feel like I get more from my friends than I give.

Joe P.

14:49

That's because when you offer love, you're not looking for something in return. So a lot more comes back to you

Speaker 1

14:57

know, sometimes I do look for a little something. I don't mind when they offer me some honey,

Joe P.

15:05

and it's usually well deserved. Thank you Kanga talking to Kanga made to think about all his friends, and how he was a different sort of poo for each of them with Piglet, he was wise and generous with owl, he felt silly and shy when talking to, he or he was positive and energetic. with Tigger, he stayed settled and calm.

Speaker 1

15:33

I suppose, without me my friends wouldn't be who they are, and without them, I wouldn't really be pool.

Joe P.

15:42

And right there on the spot. He thought of a friendship poem

Speaker 1

15:47

in the wood where we all live. I have good friends, always ready to give. So when they're happy. I feel glad. And when they're not. I feel sad. My job is to be the best friend I can be while remembering, they are all part of me.

Joe P.

16:06

Here we have. When you thinking of all of his friends in the woods. This is an interesting concept, you know, we think, we think that we're different, with other people that we act differently. But in fact, we're a different person with them, and they're different, with us we're, we're actually a different person. Because if we say, Okay, well I act differently. When I'm with Tigger, than when I'm with piglet. Where's the, the Winnie the Pooh. That's the same in both of those. And that's something that Andrew and I have been teaching in the meditation class. If you look and say, you know, where's the one that continues on, that's the same in both of those situations, you can't actually find something. So if we really take a look and see that we're, we become a new person, with every other person that we meet with all of our friends, and every moment, we have the opportunity for a fresh start, and a new role, and in fact with our friends, a new relationship. It's always the possibility of being fresh, and understanding that everything in the relationship is interdependent, who we are and how we act with them and how they are who they are and how they act with us is interdependent. There isn't a separate person there among all of those different people that we are with all of our different friends. Interesting to come. Okay, man.

Speaker 1

18:11

Okay, this is from always maintain a joyful mind by Pema children. The combination of mindfulness and appreciation connects us fully with reality and brings us joy. There can be a sense of gratitude to everything, even difficult emotions because of their potential to wake us up, really communicating from the heart and being there for someone else, requires openness,

Joe P.

18:39

mindfulness, allows us to be more attuned to our experience in the here and now. That opens the door to working with our thoughts and emotions, and finding peace of mind when we are at it, when we are at peace with ourselves, it's easier to appreciate the qualities of others without envy or criticism. We can accept another person for the whole of who they are, the parts we like, as well as the parts we aren't as fond of. That enables us to share in their joy and support them when things aren't going so well. It's gratifying both to give and to receive gratitude. It's natural to be grateful for the support of friends and family, but we can also be grateful for the lessons learned from challenging situations. There is a slogan in the mindfulness tradition, be grateful to everyone. There is much to be gained from interacting with difficult people. They provide the opportunity to practice patience when they push our buttons. I think actually Andrew talked about this just last night that his contractor, we had a different difficult time with was his teacher in that situation. So this is very timely see everything's all connected. It's all connected. They require the development of sharp, communication skills. They offer a mirror like reflection of our state of mind, our hopes, our fears and even what we find uncomfortable about ourselves. If we don't react defensively. Difficult People can be a catalyst for our waking up. It's helpful to make a gratitude list include everyone and everything that contributes to your happiness, and also include those who are challenging and provide you opportunities to work with your attitudes and emotional reactions. Review your list and update it regularly. Listening and speaking. When listening and speaking, are you genuinely present for the other person. Here are some things to notice. When someone is talking to you. Do you look at them and listen attentively to their words and expressions. Are you truly taking in everything the other person has to say before responding, Or do you start composing an answer when you get an idea of where they're heading. Do you hear all they have to say or do you interrupt and start answering before they are done. Use awareness of your breathing, as an anchor to stay present. And listen fully leaving space for them to finish, and then give a thoughtful response. A valuable practice for self awareness is asking, what is my response based on. Am I open to exploring different differences of opinion in an unbiased way eager for the opportunity to learn. Am I answering his competition, trying to convince the other person that I am right. Am I communicating with honesty and integrity, or am I more concerned with getting my way and making myself look good when you realize you've been engaged in blaming or being critical of others. Another helpful practice is to mentally turn around and look at yourself. First ask, What have I done or said that has contributed to my negative feelings about this person, and our interaction, then think about what circumstance might have made the other person speaker act the way they did. Very often you'll discover that things aren't the way they first seemed, and there's no need to stay upset. If you have a heartfelt desire for authentic communication. You can change your listening and speaking habits by just noticing with non judgmental awareness, you will start to be more present when listening, and your speaking will better reflect your values. Mindfulness allows you to be more authentically responsive to others beyond personal preference, and emotional reactivity. That is the basis for genuine communication. So we can have a think about that contemplate it and we can have some interesting discussion after we finished the reading about that, but listening and speaking and how we relate with others and and more on the challenging that we talked about last night.

Speaker 1

23:33

Chapter 16 sandwich of the day. The day begins with setting your intentions, it ends with reflection on the extent to which you fulfilled them rejoice in what went well and accept what didn't without harsh judgment, then conclude by making the aspiration to do even better tomorrow,

Joe P.

23:55

after his visit with Kanga and Roo, who headed home. The sun dipped down to play hide and seek behind the trees and a cool, brisk breeze blew through the woods, warmed by the love he received from Kanga and still nicely full inside from his mindful meal with rabbit who wasn't at all chilled. He kept just noticing sights, sounds and smells and practice mindful walking, feeling the forest floor with each step. Arriving at home as darkness settled over the wood, who made himself a little cup of tea with a generous dollop of honey. Before snuggling into his comfy chair. Taking a deep settling breath. He began his regular practice of reflecting on the day. First, who recalled the intentions he had said that morning and contemplated how well he was able to fulfill them. He reflected on when he was mindful, playing with room, walking with Piglet and eating with rabbit. He remembered when he wasn't mindful daydreaming about sweeping leaves. Who thought of the times he was kind to others. Encouraging Piglet and cheering up, he or he recognized when he wasn't so genuinely present, thinking about how soon he might get some honey. He felt heartened by what went particularly well aimlessly wandering in the wood beds in a delightful swirl of sights, sounds and smells was very enriching. And he had the pleasant surprise of running into room. A reminder that just noticing is seeing everything as new, who also acknowledged, without giving himself a hard time. What could have gone better. It had been a bit trying to get Tigger to be more mindful of Piglet and Piglet to be more accepting of Tigger. Finally he set his aspirations for the next day to renew his intentions to do his best to fulfill them, and to feel at least as satisfied at the end of tomorrow, as he did this evening. To conclude, who recited his evening rhyme.

Speaker 1

26:17

Today, there were two things I set out to do, to truly be poor. As I walked in the woods, I did all that I could to be here and now, the best I knew out and keep in my mind, to always become

Joe P.

26:36

interested in mindfulness for a few minutes, then got up, put on his nice shirt and climbed into a bit with a smile, a stretch, and a yawn, he tucked himself in and went to sleep.

Joe P.

26:56

And that's the end of our day with who walking in the woods.

Speaker 1

27:04

This is from a path with heart by Jack Kornfield. In the end, just three things matter how well we have lived, How well we have loved how well we have learned to let go.

Joe P.

27:19

And we can reflect on those every evening. So, making a sandwich. Every day starts with intention and ends with recollection, and all that we do sandwiched in between. First thing in the morning. Sit quietly and establish your basic intentions for the day. How you would like to work with your own experience and relate with others. Divide your intentions into three areas, corresponding to body, speech and mind. Although they are interdependent, you can choose an intention for each one. Overall, be as mindful as you can with respect to how much you are keeping to or straying from your intentions throughout the day. The other part of the sandwich happens in the evening. At the close of the day, take a few moments for reflection, review in a non judgmental way how well you fulfilled your intentions. It's not a contest, you don't win or lose, just take stock of what happened without praise or blame to whatever extent you are not mindful and kind. Make a commitment that you'll do your best to improve tomorrow. To whatever extent you maintain mindfulness and acted with kindness. Think happily, that it benefited others, as well as yourself, having completed the sandwich of the day. Sleep well. And that concludes our book, but we, we did finish with some parting words. So who can wave by.

Speaker 1

29:08

It is our hope that you enjoy taking this walk in the woods with Winnie the Pooh and his friends may have offered you a path to deepen your understanding and appreciation for the preciousness of living in the here and now. May it inspire you to evergrowing caring and kindness towards yourself, and all those who encounter on your gently mindful journey through life.

Joe P.

29:36

So thank you again so much. And, and what I'd like to do is open this up to questions, you can. Andy, you can unmute people if they'd like to raise their hand, but we also have one already in the chat box. The question is, in reference to the quote by Jack Kornfield called Path of heart. The quote is in the end just three things matter how well we have lived, how will we have loved how well we have learned to let go. And the question is how well we have learned to let go from a path with heart, what does that refer to that refers to attachment to needing things to come out a particular way so that we can get the world to be the way we want it to be for us, rather than letting go and learning to, as it says, how well we've lived and how well we've loved the extent to which we feel like we need to make things turn out a particular way, though, and, and particularly any kind of things that we're attached to always produce on happiness. And the reason is I like to think of it a couple of couple of ways. One is, the world is going along the way the world is going to go along. Now, if you try to make it go the way you want it to. You can do that for a little bit but eventually it's gonna diverge, and the further it gets from the way you want it to be the less happy you're going to be. So that, that's one of those until at some point, you actually have to give up your project. And in a certain sense that in the, in the Buddhist tradition we talk about dying to who we're attached to being in the moment, which causes us some suffering, and then we kind of reconstruct ourselves, and go, Okay I need that I was, I had it wrong. I need to be, I need to make the world be a little more like this, and then we try it again. And it's a continual cycle of suffering. The other aspect is any kind of attachment to temporary phenomena and temporary phenomenon is pretty much everything in our experience because everything that comes together eventually comes apart. So, the traditionally they say this, not letting go but clinging, or holding on, is really the source of most of our suffering. I do like the expression. And it's attributed to so many different people from the Dalai Lama to Mark Twain. I mean it's pretty much everybody that, that maybe not quite Mark Twain but that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. And so, so we have this, we have a choice, and if we are attached to these temporary things to whatever extent we're attached, when they come apart. We are unhappy, we're unhappy when we don't get what we want, we're unhappy when what we get stuck with what we don't want, we're unhappy with what we what we like is taken away from us. So all these ways that are based on not letting go, are what produces our own happiness. Okay, good. Any other questions or comments experiences with listening and and being genuinely there for others.

Joe P.

34:06

This is our waiting meditation.

Joe P.

34:14

You can raise your hand or put it in the chat. Can you hear me. Hi. Oh yeah.

Speaker 2

34:25

Hi. So I just want to say this is my most famous favorite chapter sandwich of the day. I love many other chapters that have spoken to me personally,

Unknown Speaker

34:46

I feel that

Speaker 2

34:49

I wish that there were 1000s of people listening, because I just want to say I'm very grateful to have participated. Nancy for your work. I'm your genuine compassion. Joe knows that I suffered trauma when we first met, I lost six of my family four years ago. This chapter sandwich of the day, specifically speaks to me. As many have walked through this past year, the rug being pulled out from underneath them and having to adapt to a lot of pain. I work with pain I've been a body worker for 25 years, I help people connect to their breath, and bring in the flow to their body, your work through this book, I will be bringing forward to and I take great honor to be an ambassador in the community of Santa Barbara. One of the traumas for me was my son. He just turned 18 Before years I've been begging for help for him. In this public education, and then the justice system. It's been very trying for me as my only child. And it has been four years since I've seen him. I see him at a distance. Letting go is probably our greatest challenge in this lifetime. And I just want to say thank you. Personally I'm honored to be an ambassador to bring Winnie the Pooh into everyone's household in our community.

Joe P.

36:36

Thank you, Vicki, thank you so much. Thank you.

Joe P.

36:48

Anyone else, you're welcome. Just to share whatever you'd like to share. This is our opportunity.

Joe P.

37:11

Alejandro,

Speaker 3

37:20

Alex. Hello. Hi everyone. I just want to say that me as well. I'm so grateful to be here. Um, I like that book so much is the only session I've been attending, and I already went by it. And, and, and you guys should think about making Spanish version of it. As to have it promoted, Down here in Mexico and I don't know in the Spanish speaking world you know.

Joe P.

38:05

Yeah, we've been talking about that was one of the, one of the people on the class. We've been, and also with Vicki we've been there a couple of different ways of approaching that and I've just two weeks ago I had a conversation with our editor about that so we're working on it. We're definitely

Speaker 3

38:27

awesome well, anything, do you need in Mexico, Mexico City. Let me know please, I will be more than happy to help in any way. Thank you so much. And thank you very much. It's

Joe P.

38:40

a pleasure and privilege to say hello to you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I got to read this from Inna, that before, this is that coincidence kind of thing that we're talking about the, the outer experiences on the dream and the and Andrew last night talking about the same thing that we ended up doing the reading today, and I truly have found that the universe moves in waves. I have weeks when I get no calls for lessons. And then I have weeks when I get a dozen calls for lessons, it, it just moves in waves so in I said that before the last reading session before we did that session, she saw a bear, baby. You know, like Winnie the Pooh that looks, but with the face of Winnie the Pooh but a body of a bit of a baby. And then you've seen those right yes, definitely on the market and it caught her eye. And I don't usually buy toys as I'm a grown up late. Just two days later we're reading the passage where poo was asleep dreaming he was a poor baby. Oh, that's funny. And she wrote this is a magical coincidence from now on this toy will always remind me to be mindful and especially ask myself, who I am. And if I'm dreaming right now just, oh there it is, that is so great. Like, just like. Good work. Good work. Okay. I love it. That's great. That's great. Oh, that is so funny. Yes. Are we dreaming right now that we're on a zoom call. I don't know, I've had dreams that I've been on Zoom calls. My guess we should check. That's great, thank you for the pictures, we got them, and they came up, that's super lovely, Katie.

Speaker 2

41:06

Hi. So I don't know quite how to articulate this but I got the idea that I want to share, which is, I have so enjoyed these sessions, I look forward to them and they like, they fill me up with happiness and Glee I'm just like, like a little kid. And from the beginning I'm struck by your names being parent, you know, like, and I just feel like I can remember in the first session, and this is not like me I mean I'm very like attentive to zoom sessions but you started to read, and I was overwhelmed with fatigue and I lay down, and it was like somebody was reading to me like I was a little kid, but, but I grew up, they didn't read to me, neither of them, you know, wasn't a thing in my house so I kind of feel like this is like re parenting in a way, you know, but with sane parents who read these outrageous books full of wisdom and kindness and fun and beautiful pictures and so anyway, so that I guess I got it click across you know I feel like this is re parenting Thank you parents I appreciate it. Yes.

Joe P.

42:12

Thank you. Right, thank you. Our pleasure. When my teacher Troper into shame when I would raise my hand in the session. The first time he said, parent, my, That's what I called my mother and father. And from there on, whenever I would raise my hand economy we go. Mother, father. That's it, that's how it was I mean, mother, father, right, and then the his region would whenever I, of course, I always, I very often offer my opinion. And he said, parental guidance suggested. So, so thank you for pointing that out it is somewhat ironic yes I agree. No, I have a question for all of you. Did you notice how I did the character of Kanga. Did you notice any accent. Well, when I did I recorded the audio book. And I said, I thought, what kind of voice can I do for you know piglets easy squeaky rebel Tigger I did Tony the Tiger. great. Right. And they're great Frosted Flakes. That's shows my age, that was the commercial and Kanga, I couldn't think I said Well she's from the southern hemisphere. So, I made her seven. Well thank you poo. And maybe we'll give her a little bit of a southern accent. Now, I, this was, Australian, yes, I didn't get I might, you know, I don't know how I know a lot of guys Australian accent but that's what I did. So, um, Tim, thank you for your comment, letting go, and issues to deal with. How do you think we can help children to deal with this. You know, it's an interesting thing. I think I want to let Nancy take this one. All right, thinking about letting go and helping children deal with letting go. Um, you know, I

Speaker 1

44:54

think it comes back to first and foremost, acknowledging their feelings and helping them articulate those feelings. Because until they can get there. They can't let it go. And in my experience, that's, that's the best thing you can do is acknowledge and help them put a name to it help them label the feeling. And then there's all kinds of exercises and things that you can do to help them cope with those feelings and express those feelings

Joe P.

45:34

like self acceptance is the yes

Speaker 1

45:37

yeah and not to say oh you're, you know not to say, oh no it doesn't hurt, or no, no, that didn't happen, or oh no you can move on. No, that's not a great idea. You need to acknowledge, help your child acknowledge their feelings,

Joe P.

45:54

if they, if they are upset that some, you know, a littler kid took their toy away from them or something like that to say you don't need to feel that way, not, not so good. I think acknowledging self accepting, not, not judging the feelings. And then I one thing that I, I would suggest is, depending on the age of the child, try to get them to put themselves in the other person's shoes. You know that's one of those, those exercises, which is not easy. It's not easy for us. So it's not a child, let alone a child. But, um, you know, one of the things with letting go that I actually was able to help you, and with your son Howard was the habit changing technique that I called ninja. I call it ninja and it's necessary intention and non judgmental awareness. So first, you know, there's a psychologist joke. How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb. Only one but the label has to want to change. So, so the first part is necessary intention you have to really want to make the change. Because change has a threshold that you have to an energy threshold that you have to get over. So, for example. So this situation was. So that's the, that's the NI of ninja necessary intention, the second half is non judgmental awareness, because if you beat yourself up about it if you get upset about the fact that you, that had happened, you actually feed fuel it and feed it and invite it to come back. So, Howard. What do you mind if I tell him the story now. Howard was sucking his thumb and had a little blanket, and, and he was getting old enough that he was embarrassed that he suddenly somebody kept it was a habit. So I said well how are all you need to do is do you want to stop and said, Oh yeah, I want to stop. I said, that's all you need to do on all you do is count the number of times each day. Don't try to stop but just count the number gems you find your thumb in your mouth. And he said okay I can do that. And do you remember the other part man that he said. He said, and Mom, I'm gonna count yours too. Every time. Every time your writing is fine. So, Yeah. Little Rascal, that's fine, and so is and don't get upset, you don't need you, you, if you get upset. Again, let that go. And because we're just counting. It's, you haven't done anything bad, you find yourself in your mouth. I didn't say you don't need to be upsetting to know that it's not bad, it's just a habit is, you know, it's just something that you've gotten used to doing, but just count. And I think you told me after three days. He'd pretty much stopped doing it. And then without telling him. Tell. Do you remember what happened with the car and the blanket. I just remember when we lost the blanket. Well what happened was they were getting, they were going on a trip somewhere, and the blanket was in the laundry, and they got in the car without it. And you told me you got what you got upset he said oh wait, we have to go back for the blanket and he said no I don't need it. That's pretty cool letting go. So, so that technique actually does work for kids, for letting go, and I got again funny coincidence. What was I talking about the accent and energist wrote, she's from Sydney.

Joe P.

50:42

It all goes in waves, it all goes in waves. So, we're ready for some interesting pictures. This is a little bit of the history too. I love this stuff so I'm going to share screen here. And we're going to get to our photo. Okay, so this is. There we go. This is the sketchbook, a little a few sketches from Ernest Shepard. Ernie Shepard was the is the artist that did the original, ooh, books, and, and the funny story is that Milan, the author was aware of shepherds satirical cartoons and dislike them strongly. And yet one of his colleagues. Oh, he said to the colleague, what on earth do you see in this man he's perfectly hopeless. However, his opinion changer and Shepard produced some sample drawings for the first book, and the two began their collaboration. So here are some of the sketches. That's Winnie the Pooh reaching for a jar of honey and him. Christopher Robin reading to him. When poo got stuck, and he had visited rabbit and ate too much and couldn't get out of the rabbit hole. And here's Piglet, under the covers. Tigger, discovering, there was another ticket Tigger in the mirror. Pu in bed with a sleeping nightcap on your owl rabbit Tigger and there's Kanga and Roo. And this is interesting the model for poo. It turns out that, okay so when he was the short for Winnipeg, the bear that the young soldier had brought over from Canada, and left in the London Zoo, that Christopher Robin became friends with. And then they needed to. And he had a teddy bear. But it turns out that the real model for Boo was Shepherd sons, teddy bear, called growler, is that, isn't that interesting. Now this is the different houses which is so cute. ELLs and you see how he did kid spelling. Please knock and he spelled knock C and O ke E. And if, then, if an answer. Please not even answer is not required, no queue. And there's that there's, there's the Vert vision from that we saw the other picture of food stuck in the best Rabbit was experienced that he used, whose legs is Khalil Rex. And then Kang is the mother figure in the forest. And we were just talking about Kanga Andrew. And then this is their game of poohsticks. And, and, and in poohsticks What you do is you get an originally they used, you see him picking here picking up pine cones, and they use pine cones, but they couldn't tell them apart so much, so they didn't know whose pine cone won the race. They would go to one side of the bridge. The the upriver side, drop the stick, drop their pine cones in and then see which one, and then they switch the sticks and poohsticks.

Joe P.

54:56

And so they, they had the game. And there were rules for acoustics. And you would fashion your stick so you could tell what it was. And it's better to drop it in the middle of the stream so it doesn't get hung up along the in the weeds along the edges. And then this is for the story when Tigger accidentally bounced. Er into the river. And they dropped their poohsticks and went to look to see instead of the sticks coming out, he or she can float. Under the bridge. So here's one of the original sketches, and, and this is the sweetest thing that I wanted to read about the art. Okay. And do I have any more on these. No, that's the last one. Okay, and Milan. When Winnie the Pooh, the first book was published. Mill inscribe shepherds copy with a personal dedication, when I am gone. Let Shepherd decorate my tomb, and could, if there is room to pictures on the stone takeaway from page, 111, and Pooh and Piglet walking 157 And Peter, thinking that they are my own will welcome me to have to run with 11 and 157. So isn't that lovely. I'm going to stop this year and show you that picture

Joe P.

56:47

of me a second to find them. I know you're here.

Joe P.

57:07

Yeah, here they are. That's the one. One piglet walking. And those two walking in conversation, there have been lots and lots of different captions that go with that, which are pretty funny. Okay, thank you enough for your comments about the magical book. And, yeah, and these characters, you know, I was just talking to, to somebody in their 20s and they said oh yeah Winnie the Pooh. It's, it's just, it's been 100 years and it's still relevant for all of us. And we all know, oh and they, they, they, in a book they had personality quiz, they would ask, give you a choice and you could just determine which character you were. So we all know, we all know yours. We all know chiggers. It's just a lot of fun that way.

Joe P.

58:33

So, thank you. Oh, that's so sweet, Flora wrote that in little town of Mount Shasta. They ordered it specially for the library, and Nancy was down in the Muse at a museum right the Bauer Museum, hours in Santa Ana, yes, they have our book. Yeah, so we just found out it's gonna go to a seventh printing. And there are over 30,000 copies in print and, and, and growing so I've talked in the class before about the program for the Montessori schools and and Vicki's working on it for Santa Barbara we're working on it for that Mexico program. Thank you all the 100 for offering to help. So, you know the aspiration is that this book be available for. They said, What age is it for I like to say kids from four to 104. And that families will be able to use it to grow in mindfulness and kindness. And, of course, it's been a joy, especially doing it with Nancy and having my wife, Megan, who Nancy introduced me to. So it's all interdependent. During the design for. So thank you all so much. Anything more, please share whatever you'd like with us and welcome Andrew back.

Andrew Holecek

01:00:13

Well I've been here. Inside, silence,

Joe P.

01:00:17

and your video off.

Andrew Holecek

01:00:19

Yes, exactly. So then you can see as I as you can see as I enter deep samadhi and actually turn into rainbow body, anybody out.

Joe P.

01:00:31

Lovely.

Andrew Holecek

01:00:33

I didn't want to, really, if there are any final comments or not from my end, I thought what a fantastic way to end, especially with our chapter on love and gratitude because I think I can speak for for attendees and for all of us in my club who listen to this later. That, you know, if we could all just give you a big Winnie the Pooh hug and share our love and gratitude you would feel it right now, it's just been a delight, it's really been delight, so I don't mean to like ended with this but, as you call on me, which is my personal gratitude for both of you for writing such a gem of a book and sharing your good humor and your good heart, It's been a real delight, I just love it.

Joe P.

01:01:10

And thank you for inviting us. Definitely. Great, thank you, Vicki, for putting on her winning is exactly. And, and, and thank you and it's wonderful that you offer so many different things to so many people through all of your offerings in the, in this community and, and having, you know, even if you know people are going to miss classes but having it posted and available to be able to, to tune in afterwards and catch up. It's, you know, the whole team, you and Cindy and Andy and everybody else on the team. Thank you so much for, for what you bring and offer to everyone and it's wonderful for us to be a part of that.

Andrew Holecek

01:02:03

That's very generous of you and I really especially want to do a shout out to Andy because he's like he's the costume you know he's always there, he never fails shows up does everything so dear friend, behind the scenes, you know, super appreciation for from all of us and you're kind ever presence, so we appreciate that. And let's let's find a way to do this again, Joe.

Joe P.

01:02:26

Yeah,

Andrew Holecek

01:02:27

we got you got other books out there we could we could, you know, do a little riff on on mindfulness and sport or using Zen golf as a template,

Joe P.

01:02:35

and yeah you know you and I have talked about that. Yeah.

Andrew Holecek

01:02:40

Oh, that's awesome. Thank you

Joe P.

01:02:53

for that. That's the GIF that, that, that Andy is so good at finding those things,

Andrew Holecek

01:03:00

yes those yeah he's

Joe P.

01:03:02

very impressive.

Andrew Holecek

01:03:07

So, yeah, we can we can all do a big, let's,

Joe P.

01:03:13

let's dedicate as we as we do the benefit and on behalf of everybody made the, the study and practice and joy that we've all experienced be of benefit to others to all beings as well as ourselves, so thank you. Okay, and let's unmute and everybody say goodbye and thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, Louisa we'll be in touch. I got a nice note from you got that. Thank you very lovely to be with all of you and we'll see you again you know in the meditation classes and that, that Andrew does such a great job of leading. He's invited me as you know to do the first Monday of every month. And I'll also. I also have my own, through, through my website if you go there every, every other every other Wednesday at noon I do it in Pacific time. So we have all sorts of opportunities. And it's wonderful to be with everybody and be able to share this Path of Mindfulness and kindness and make the world a better place, little by little.

Unknown Speaker

01:04:46

Thank you Joe. Bye. Bye. Thank you.

00:0000:00