The_Left_Has_a_Big_Fatphobia_Problem

Vinny Welsby50min

Speaker 1

00:00

You're listening to the FERS fatty podcast episode 58. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby. And today we're talking about how the left has a big fat phobia. problem, let's do it. I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being courageous and confident first fatty, who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop a negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast. Let's begin. Hello, hello, fatty. Welcome to this podcast. So pleased that you're here. Thanks for tuning in. I really appreciate it. I was thinking about you last night. Yeah. I'm thinking about you. Yes, you. I was having a dream. And I was like, there they are. In my dream. I was actually thinking last night about the this podcast episode that I'm gonna do right now. kept waking up through the in the night. And I was like, You know what, I need to just do a podcast episode about this, because it's getting on my texts, is really getting on my tits. And I feel frustrated. And yesterday, I felt really mad. And I was just like, why are people? Why are people like this? The UK? No, stop it. Yeah, so I haven't ever told you before. But I'm sure I've mentioned this, but in the last little while. In the so in the online business space. I don't know if you know, but in in, in, in the online business space, in self help in any type of if you want to learn about something? Yeah, self help. Every industry there is like, if you read a book and you want to improve your life in any way whatsoever, chances are, there's going to be weight loss mentioned, or dieting, or how fat people are bad. It's really annoying. It's really fucking annoying. Like you're reading a book about I'm reading a book about fucking finances and ways to like how to allocate money a business. And then they have to use a fucking dieting, reference to dieting, I'm like, why? It's got nothing to do with anything. Anyway, and so this is something that kind of had to except frustratingly, except that if I want to continue to learn about having a business and running a successful business, that I will have to consume content from people who don't get it, you know, that the Varian diet culture, the fat phobic, blah, blah, blah. They're the average citizen of the world, right. Anyway, so one of my coaches Previously, I had bought a coaching program from someone called James Wedmore. I don't know if I've mentioned him on the podcast before, but I don't know if I've mentioned him and said, This is who I did coaching through previously. So this is a couple of couple a few years ago. And I'd spent maybe in Canadian like, three and a half grand on his program. I think it's about that in Canadian

Speaker 1

04:29

and his social media was very lucky attracts a lot of women he has, you know, I normally wouldn't buy from people who are like Sis, sis white men. But he, he would attract a lot of women because his message was was, you know, less like, hustle, hustle, hustle. And, you know, you need to work loads and you know, this type of stuff that you get from a lot of online entrepreneurs. Anyway, so did his program. And actually I did his program I got introduced to his program by this fabulous fat gay entrepreneur called Tyler J. McCall. He, he previously taught Instagram strategies. Now he's teaching all about online business stuff. And he has something called Online Business Association. He's great. So I got I knew Tyler and then Tyler had done previously business by design. Now, Tyler, this is like storytelling. This is storytelling podcast. Tyler was one of the biggest affiliates for James Wedmore. He has in his few years of working alongside him, he took his program and then he became an affiliate has made him millions of dollars. Now, Tyler, I really trust him to trust his judgment. And he recently came out and said, Hey, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've stopped being an affiliate for James Wedmore. And it was like in the online business world, this is scandalous. Why Tyler did a great IG TV. Instagram story about it basically revealed that James Wedmore has gone from being a pretty level headed, average kinda human being, you know, not gray, not not super progressive. But you know, when Black Lives Matter came out, he put out you know, when Black Lives Matter was was a big thing in in, in the summer, he put up a picture of a book on his Instagram. So he acknowledged that racism exists. But anyway, so now since since then, it's been revealed that James Wedmore is a Trump supporter. He's a raging conservative. He's a conspiracy theorist. He's all into Q anon. He's a que Manana. If you don't know what that is, basically, there's these Google it like you'll be like, what there's if you know anything like pizza, gay, child trafficking sex rings from there's like a furniture store in the states that apparently is separate track of trafficking children and selling them in wardrobes. This is not true. By the way. This is all conspiracy theories and absolutely unfounded, not based on reality. Oprah and Tom Hanks are the leaders of this. Drinking children's blood for the youth or something. It's wild. And anyway, there's a website. I think it's called Hm, I know there was a 4chan but apparently I thought someone was saying he is a joke, but I think he has a thing where someone, this q person posts the secrets, and everyone thinks is Q person. Not everyone the people who are you know, conspiracy theorists thinks this key person is revealing secrets that the government doesn't want you to know that these things are actually are you know, they sound wacky and silly, but they're really, they're based in in a lot of anti semitism, racism, homophobia, and they come across as like, of course, we don't want to do that, you know, engage in assault, child sex trafficking. And so people like people can get sucked in being like, Save the Children. But really, no, no, no, it's just it's really, really harmful stuff. Anyway, so it's been discovered that this person who so many, many, many people look up to James Wedmore, him and other people who we presumed we're liberal or not. Now we're Tyler, Tyler J. McCall, the fabulous fat gamer who introduced me to James Wedmore. He, he shared share something that was really interesting. So he's like, he's on the inside with all of this stuff. But anyway, something to find out if someone that you are not sure what their political leanings is, is go on to their Instagram or their twitter, on their Instagram, look at who they're following. And look for accounts, like Breitbart to Breitbart is this right wing news, quote unquote, news organization, absolutely.

Speaker 1

09:44

Horrifying, racist bullshit. So see if they're following something like Breitbart, or any of the Trump's or anything, I look at profiles that have an American flag like in their name, and then you can go into the profile It'll be like, I hate Jews or something like that. And you're like, okay, yeah, this is about since a racist. So James Wedmore is following a ton of those accounts. Not that that that's not the evidence to prove that he is a

Unknown Speaker

10:16

conspiracy theorist, right, right wing. Trump's supporting credo. There's other stuff too. But if you're just curious about people that you're like, should I get this person money? No, go and check who they're

Speaker 1

10:31

following. And also on Twitter. A lot of people don't know this. But if you go and look and see what tweets people have liked, it is very, very illuminating. And so if you think oh, yeah, I'm gonna whatever it whatever however way you're going to spend money. Like if you're gonna spend money on it, no, going grocery shopping, chances are, you know, Sainsbury's or superstore or whatever is not, you know, liking the tweets of, you know, white supremacist, this problem has probably not going to happen. But if it's like an individual business owner, or someone who has a personality behind the brand, seeing what they're about, anyway, and so this is kind of like, people who you thought were liberal, revealing their true colors. That's just like one thing. But anyway, so Tyler started this, this new Facebook group just to, to get together, all of the online business owners who, who are progressive, who don't want to be racist, who believe in science, over conspiracy theories, who want to do better and want to be in business in an ethical way. Right? So Tyler started this, this Facebook group, great, honestly, fucking, to be in a business space and know that you're around fellow progressive people is revolutionary. Business spaces are not safe. They're not safe for people who are fat positive, who are anti diet, who people who are recovering from eating disorders, people who are trying to not hate their bodies, they're really not safe, which is it's just really weird, because it's, you know, it's business spaces. Why does business have to be so about diet? And how much people hate fat people, but it is, strangely so, so annoying. And so now I've had who, who knows how long? I've had my business? Five years, seven years, eight years, two years? Well, who? Whatever. So for all those years, it's not two years? Well, if all of those years, I have had to really work to protect my mental health, on my business basis that, you know, talking about fucking diets, and I'm going to, I'm going to business about like weight loss, and you know, yeah, everyone should lose weight and all fat people disgusting. And why don't you just love it, how fat people just eat all the food and because you know what it is, a lot of people in the online business world are big into manifesting their dream business, like positive thinking, that's, I love that that's great, whatever, anyway, that you believe it. Like, if you're religious, and you're not hurting other people, whatever. And I know manifesting isn't a religion, it's more spirituality. But anyway, whatever you do, so you're not hurting other people, that's fine. But a big part of these beliefs around manifestation. And saying, you know, if you really work hard, and if you really believe in yourself, then you're going to have a successful business is denying the fact that white privilege privilege exists, and that some people just can't, you know, leave their job and start a business because they have, they have to work and they've got bills to pay, and they can't live in their mom's basement and things like that. So it was a big, not understanding about privilege. And also, they view weight as like a manifestation of bad things in your life. And so if you're fat, it's a it's a physical manifestation about how your bad holding on to bad things, you know, bad things have happened or whatever. And not not not science. Not science. Anyway, so. So I'm in this progressive Facebook group, and I'm just like, Fuck, yeah, people are like, how can we be better? How can we do better and oh, like we're so fed up of businesses that are

Speaker 1

14:53

bigoted and exploiting people and not being ethical and stuff. And no, you So one is one person posted in the group, and this person post in the group, and I won't name names. But this person posts a group and she says, What are you guys doing to discuss your commitment to diversity? I did a video to communicate hours during the BLM protests, and then links to her website, where she has video about her diversity commitment. I thought interesting. When I click on that, that's, that's pretty cool. clicked on the video. And before I, I started watching it, and I just the name of her website. And it was alluding to weight loss. And I thought, Hmm, something doesn't add up here. This person is claiming to be progressive, claiming to support black lives matter yet. Maybe they're selling diets? I don't know. So I looked through this person's website. And I was like, Oh, interesting. I need to tell you a lot about this. Because it was so like cloak and dagger. So confusing. So gaslighting that I was like, is she selling weight loss? And then I got some key things. And I was like, oh, yeah, she she's selling weight loss. But the way that it was overwritten was totally hiding that fact, I'm gonna share it with you in a minute. But anyway, so I left a comment I said, Hi, just an FYI, intentional weight loss is rooted in anti black racism, as well as tons of other harmful systems. And so you may want to look into that. Because we're in a group for people who are learning to be even more progressive in their businesses. And I really, for a moment, I didn't want to put this comment, I was like, Nah, just leave it. Victoria does leave it. And I normally would like in every single time in any business space, I see fat phobia, and diet culture bullshit, I just, I have to leave it because I know that if I left if I left a comment and did any type of activism, people will just be like, you know, pile on, because they're so committed to these beliefs which are harmful. But because this is a space where we're learning and we're trying to become more progressive, I thought, You know what, no, you're doing good for activism work by gently saying, by the way, in case you didn't know, intention of weight loss, diet, culture, fat phobia, is racist based in racism. And so her response was, I don't focus on weight loss in any of my programs, that's often the result, but never the intent. I also make an effort to not use it in any of my marketing. Once you get into any of my programs, I also discussed that weight loss isn't the goal. Also heart disease, diabetes, and most other health issues are scientifically linked to and then she uses the O word, which rhymes with Barbie Barbie Schmoke b2b, which disproportionately impacts P O. C, people of color. So I wrote, by the way, there was a slurs, and she put put in quotation marks or Asterix out, for example, and I wrote told her how to write out the words, reading your marketing, the goal of weight loss is definitely meant mentioned. And so exploring how that is harmful is really important. I hope this is helpful, as I'm sure you don't want to cause harm to marginalized communities. Her response was, I didn't come here to argue the importance or lack of importance of health and wellness. I'm sure you're super well intentioned as I am i i also bet that if we spoke, we probably have a lot more in common in our approach. But quite honestly, your approach with me doesn't actually make me want to have a conversation with you and makes me want to leave the group all together. Please take this feedback with the same love I'm sure what's behind yours to me. So that was her comment. I just thought this person is a donkey. I don't want to respond. And then a straight size person came and said, responded to the this person. weight and health are different and come fleeting the two is part of the problem Victoria was trying to speak to her comments were perfectly polite and well intentioned. And I would examine why a well intentioned calling has you reacting in fragility, and focusing on intent over impact. And I just responded to that person saying thanks so much for speaking up sending Patty hugs to you. Because I just felt her response. It just really left me like disappointed and feeling like drained like I could, I wanted to just put a comment on here saying, Please, straight size allies come and educate this this person, because there's so much going on with, with what she's saying that is problematic. And her website has weight loss all over it and her social media, because I was like, was I wrong? Like, did I not read? Stuff? Question. And

Speaker 1

20:59

the social media and I was like, no, no, she's Yeah, yeah. Definitely don't about weight loss and your marketing weight loss. Like, what? Yeah, so I just thought, I didn't have the capacity to engage with this person further and continue on with this activism. And I'm really pleased that but this, the straight size person came in and said, Hey, listen, appear mother father. So what I'm thinking about doing is is saying, Hey, maybe I maybe I should do a training in the group about how racism and xenophobia are deeply intertwined and, and how it's problematic and how if we want to be anti racist, we have to be anti diet, and we have to be pro fatty, and fat positive. And I think a lot, a lot of people, even though they identify as being progressive, and not on that train, yet, they're not on that train yet. I made a post on the Instagrams in September, and I just want to read it to you. The Pope, the post reads, the rampant fatphobia in Liberal spaces needs to stop. And the description in the in the thingamajig reads in the caption reads, following on from my previous posts, where the quote says fatphobia is not the last socially acceptable form of discrimination. Go read that post, if that's interesting to you. I will link to this post in the show notes. I wanted to highlight for why for many fat people, it feels like it is the last socially acceptable form of discrimination if they congregate in certain liberal spatial spaces. And so a lot of people do feel like fatphobia is the last socially acceptable form of discouraging discrimination if they're liberal. And if they're in Liberal spaces. A lot of liberal people will say, racism, sexism, Islamophobia. transphobia, any type of bigotry is bad, but lol fat people are greedy and horrible. And I haven't so much in Liberal spaces, but the reality is the rest of the world are like, Yeah, fucking you know, we hate everyone. You know, everyone should die apart from white man. You know, obviously not. Well, obviously not that extreme. But yes, that extreme in some places, but. And so the reality it feels like for a lot of liberal people, that fatphobia is the last socially acceptable form of discrimination. But in the grand scheme of the world, it's not. There's lots of socially acceptable forms of discrimination, but in Liberal spaces is a little bit different. So I continue. In many liberal spaces. Discrimination is a big no, no, people work to be anti racist, anti sexist, they pride themselves of being forward thinking and inclusive. That is and when it comes to fat bodies, many liberal spaces espouse the benefits quote, unquote, of diets cloaked under terms like, quote unquote, health and wellness. Many liberal spaces still presume that fat bodies are unhealthier than thin bodies. Many liberal spaces only share images of people in smaller bodies because a fat body could hurt their brand. Many liberal spaces say that it's not about how you look, but how healthy you are. This Tom fuckery needs to stop. fat phobia is a social justice issue. You cannot claim to be a feminist and be liberal or forward thinking if your compassion stops at people over a certain weight. I don't know if this is a term yet, but maybe it should be fat exclusionary radical feminist first serve. Yeah. So this is where I get mad, I get mad about this stuff because it is so difficult for people who have not done the work and who are not Eagle fucking I need to know when they are being deceived with this stuff. So I want to share this website, some of the I want to share some of the copy from this website. And so you can see how difficult it would be if you happen to go on to this website

Speaker 1

25:48

for you to decipher whether this was something that was going to be causing you deep harm, which is what intentional weight loss does or not. Okay, so I'm on the website, I'm not going to tell you the name of this person on the website. Because I don't want to get sued. I don't know reading someone's website copy would get me sued, but whatever. So the website kind of alludes to to weight loss, but not really, you would very be easily able to be like, well, that's not what that means. I won't tell you the name, but here's some copy. Okay. So there are three big problems with the weight loss industry, and they're keeping you frustrated and stuck. Number one, every guru gives the same advice. Do more to way less. You read the books, try the diets fasted and detoxed. Remember the time you did a juice cleanse, and you couldn't stop pooping for a week. The problem is that it didn't work. If doing more was solution, you wouldn't hate the way you look in the mirror. The real solution has to be something else. Because of that's partly a bit of a copy from website. I'm like, yes, yes, the real solution has to be something else. Kicking diets into the sun eating him in eating them into the sun as the children would say, as the kids would say. And so I'm like, Yeah, okay, why don't you Oh, cool. She's a an anti diet, body acceptance, coach, it continues. Number two, do more to weigh less works just not for you. It works for weight loss companies that made 72 billion last year it was for authors that sold 5 million diet books last year. It was for the gym owners that no 82% of their members will never show up. The problem is that they get paid if you stay stuck. Let that sink in baby, these companies need you on that yo yo hamster wheel. If that's the case, why would they ever give up? Give you a long term solution. So I'm like, yes, yeah, yes. You're right. Weight loss companies are scamming people. Okay, number three, you're an easy target many advertisers that understand online ads and sell snake oil solutions. 5 billion in online programs were sold last year. How much of that was your money? The problem is, is you keep spending buku bucks on fads, programs and potions that over promise and deliver or simply don't work? Yes, right. Okay. So yes. So you're reading this? As someone who's trying to love their body? You're reading this? And you're saying, yes, yes. Yes, this person gets me. So, continue. Can you relate to one of these scenarios? One, you've tried all the things and you still hate the way you look in the mirror? Or you've tried nothing? You don't know you don't have time or you don't know where to start? Let's put an end to the do more to weigh less like, shall we? And then it continues. Oh, snap. Yes, there is a way to feel great without starving. Yes, there is a way to find joy and moving your body. Yes, there is a way to lose weight without stepping on the scale. And then the button to join this program says Yes, I'm ready to break up with the scale. So I'm like if you didn't get that one sentence Yes, there is a way to lose weight without stepping on the scale you would be forgiven for thinking that this was a body love program, not a you need to lose weight your piece of shit, which is this isn't what they're saying. But and so it continues you're not broken. You just have a blind spot. When you see it your life will change. Have you have to be more to lose more identity work is the solution. The weight loss industry doesn't want you to know. So what they're saying here identity work is, you know that whole, manifesting your body powerful thinking, you know, positive thinking positively think your way to a thin body. And it continues How come the quote unquote gurus aren't telling you this? Remember the problem number two, they get paid when you stay stuck, you thought the more that you did, the less you'd weigh, I get why and it's not your fault. All the Guru's are screaming than a five shot rooftop because it's making them rich.

Speaker 1

30:50

And then it continues this is this is the bit that like gets on my dang late it continues. Want to know a secret? I used to be part of the problem. And she says how I had one of the most successful Pilates chains in the city. I told clients to diet and she says they'd be doing great having a successful day at work. And then when faced with a healthy choice to make, they'd say in quotes, efforts. Next thing you know, they'd black, I think she means they blacked out. It was a complete feeding frenzy. They'd wake up with an empty pint of Ben and Jerry's a slice of pizza left in the box and chocolate stains on their face. You know what came next? The guilties fucking hate about that the guilties they'd say My diet starts tomorrow and get back on that yo yo hamster wheel. Looking back, I can see the role I played, I preach the same bullshit advice, do more to weigh less, I hadn't discovered the importance of identity when it's ideally transformed the way I coach and it transformed the way they lived. And then she goes on to talk about her weight loss journey, how she was a fat fucking piece of shit. AKA, she was a straight sized person. And she wanted to get into the wedding dress. And that's when magic happens. She lost her way. And she got into her wedding dress, and her husband loved her. And now her life is amazing. And she wants to share that with you. Okay, so people who think that they're forward thinking that Uber progressive, who still sell weight loss are mistaken with the, the impact, okay, they think this person says I used to be a part of the problem. She started to realize the diets don't work. She saw it in her clients. And instead of continuing down that route of inquiry, and being curious, and looking at science, she instead went a different route and was like, it's all about manifestation. Just think about being thin, and you're within unhealthy, or whatever it is, like, obviously, I don't know what she's teaching in the program. But you know, she's talking about identity. So that's, you know, alluding to that, right? And so I'm just like, I just wish she just could I don't know why, but it just didn't happen. Right. And she's, she is the She's still the problem. And in my eyes, it's worse. It's worse than a company who was like, Yeah, we help you lose weight. Or that's what we say because you know, diets don't work. Yeah, we're gonna stop you know, being fat is bad, you need to be healthy, you know, you need to get a six pack. I have no respect for those types of companies than for this type of stuff. Because it is really targeting people who are who are who are searching for something different who know that dieting doesn't work. And they think that this other diet is mindset diet, or whatever it is, is the solution. Like shit. If this person has to has discovered the solution, this one person, she's discovered the solution. She has got the one in a billion dollar idea that actually works. She needs to be going to all over again. Universities and to do studies and get this peer reviewed and get it out there but cuz she will be a billionaire. She's found the way that you can lose weight and keep it off. Oh my god. Like, isn't that incredible? No, because she hasn't done it. She's just peddling the same old shit repackaged. And in a really deceptive way. I'm getting fired up about this, as you can tell. So as I'm recording this, Biden was elected a couple of weeks ago now.

Speaker 1

35:34

And I'm when it was the days before the election, Anderson Cooper Anderson Cooper is a newsreader. I think on CNN, CNN. I think it's like a middle stream, you know, middle of the road, kind of they're not liberal, they're not conservative news channel. I might be wrong. Anyway, so Anderson Cooper said something about Trump, and he said, but he was a he used the O word. He was a fat turtle on its back flailing, but he used an O word. And liberals ate that shit up. Liberals fucking love. fat shaming people. Haha. Oh my god. So funny. Anderson Cooper said that Trump was fat. Oh my god, that's so edgy. Trump isn't hearing that you're laughing about him being a fat turtle. And you sharing a meme about trumping a fat turtle. The other people around you who you care about are hearing that the fat people around a hearing that when people share that there's this big problem where liberals have a blind spot and I'm liberal, right. And I have loads of blind spots too. But this is really bad. And so the way that I see it is it's like Trump versus pets. So Mike Pence, the current vice president of the United States, is openly bigoted, anti LGBTQ, anti abortion, deny systemic racism, etc, etc. He is like a traditional diet. He's open about it. Right? He's like, you're a fat piece of shit. buy my product. I'll make you less of a piece of shit. I hate fat people. Right? That's what Mike Pence is. So Trump says, I'm the list as a quote from him. I'm the least racist person. Anybody is going to meet. He says, I love women. I love poor people. I love Latinos. I love all of these marginalized people. And Trump supporters say, or just because he acts badly towards these people. That doesn't matter. Because he says that he's not racist. He says that he loves them. And so that website is like Trump saying, I'm not racist. Well, being a massive fucking racist. So this website that I was just reading the copy from is just like that, that kind of you confused? You gaslit? You like, is it and so people can have, you know, the people can say, Trump supporters can say he's not racist. He says he's not racist. This website are not a diet, and then the person who runs a website, I don't sound I don't mark it diets on my website, when she fucking does. Like, and so someone, someone like me, it took a minute to sniff it out. Right. And I am doing this stuff all the time. What about someone who is new to this journey? Are they going to be able to sniff that out? No, no, it's going to be very difficult, right? So it's and what is the other thing that gets someone else is it's using fat, positive anti diet messaging against you. The first part of that copy could be on my website, couldn't it? And then, you know, the problem, you hate your body, the solution, you learn to love your body. You learn about all of these systems that tell you that your body is not okay. And how her website is the problem. You hate your body and fail at diets. The problem is do another diet but give me your money because I want some of that $72 billion pie now and under the I am.

Speaker 1

40:02

So for me, I will prefer the out and out open bigotry. At least we know where we stand, right? At least we know everyone's been open and honest. I am a racist. I hate women. I'm conservative and I vote for Trump. I want to know that. But when someone and companies they're doing this, they're saying, We're liberal. We're liberal, but we fucking hate valleys. That's not cool. dieting, and conflating health and weight, are conservative in nature. These are conservative ideologies, thinking fat bodies ought to shrink, is not a liberal viewpoint. Being healthiest an ableist and racist are things for conservative people, not for liberals, but people really struggle to let go of that stuff. Even when confronted with the fact that fatphobia stems from racism, that diet culture, uphold white supremacy, people want to be good, but they just can't let go of white supremacist systems. And for this one person that I'm talking about, is because white supremacy pays her wages. But she thinks she's doing good because she made a video about Black Lives Matter on her website. And she's questioning the other progressive saying, What are you doing for black lives while profiting from white supremacy? But also, I have no empathy for her because how hard would it be for her to say? So she said, I was once a problem. But I fixed myself. And now I'm a solution. How hard would it be for her to self reflect and say, I thought I was once part of the problem and then fix myself. But now I realized that I'm still just fucking part of the same exact problem. But even worse, this time, that would be really hard to do like to self reflect and have that realization. And she would have to remove like the weight loss stuff from her business, she might lose money, because it's so much easier making money on the internet, if you're selling weight loss than it is, if you're selling anti weight loss, like a by a billion present, right? She would have to help people because she you know, that's the whole thing is we're helping you be healthy and well, health and wellness, you know, the polite liberal term for fatphobia she would have to help people just become healthy and not lose weight. Like her brain, there might be too much for her right now. I hope that gentle calling in makes I have a little thing. But I don't know, you know, we all like and we all fuck up, right? So I felt up all the time. And just because you have good intentions. So this person has good intentions. She wants to stop people of color. She wants to stop black people getting fat so they don't get diseases. That whole fucking statement. It's so messed up so many levels. And so just misinformed ill informed our it's making me want to have angry thoughts. So she thinks she's doing good, right? She's she, she's, she's in good intention. She's not like, Haha, I'm going to benefit from my white skin and, and take all these, you know, this money and uphold problematic ideas. She's like, I'm going to help the world. And she says on our website, I want to make the world a better place, right? So even if you have good intentions, you're still gonna fuck up. But if you're committed to being a better person, then you have to examine how you're fucking up. And we're all fucking up. Like, we're all fucking up all the time. If you're trying to be a better person, you're going to be saying stupid stuff and doing stupid stuff. Even if you don't mean to. I hope that we do want to grow. You know, like I think about I think about 2006 Victoria, on Facebook. If Facebook was Facebook around then, let's say like, that's when it first came out. And Matt and you imagine yourself 20 What, how fucking how many years ago? It feels like that. That was four years ago, but there's not actually four years ago, like 1415 years ago. So you that many years ago?

Speaker 1

44:30

If you were like me, you probably bit of a mob. You probably you probably weren't as much as when I was I was. But you know, I'd say I would believe and say things which were really problematic and inappropriate. And now I'm just like, Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my gosh, and I think we've all evolved from 1020 years ago. Depending how long you've been alive, like we all continue, but I say we all that's not true. You know? A lot of people that you maybe went to school with, but that version of you 15 years ago, thought was amazing. Had the best times with them. But now 15 years later, you've evolved, you've continued to try and be a good person. And you didn't no longer relate to that person. And so we can stay in this space right now, or the space we were 15 years ago. And then in 15 years time, now we're going to look back at ourselves and be like, oh, oh, my god, I can't believe I said that. And that's okay. Because we want we're going to continue to grow. Or we can just stop, right? We can just stop. And then when someone challenges us and says, Hey, you know, looks like he committed to being anti racist, but the work that you're doing is based in racism, but awkward. And instead of saying, you know, fine, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna argue with you. I'm just gonna leave the group, taking a moment and thinking, how am I going to react? How am I going to react? And no one's perfect, right? If someone calls you out, it's normal to be like, No, you're wrong. That's not no, I'm a racist. We're all racist, or bigoted in some ways, you know, we can't help it. That's like, like me saying, everyone's fat phobic you can't help but being fat phobic because we live in a fat violent society, you'd be bizarre. If you weren't, you know, there's always still that little bit left that's clinging on, no matter how much work you're doing. And so to presume that you that the to everyone else is, is, has has, has racist beliefs, but But you don't because you've got a magical brain. That would be cool. If you had a magical brain and you didn't absorb problematic beliefs, but you know, all humans, right? Feels like these episodes, me like ranting on my soapbox being like, don't be a dick. Oh, I'm so clamoring, this person is so dumb. I hope I didn't come across like that. I'm just really frustrated with people who claim to be progressive, and they are not. And finally having a space where I can say, Hey, by the way, he not called to be a fat vote. And then, and then seeing the stuff that you all have to deal with, right? Because I'm not I'm not on the internet looking at like websites, dieting websites, not that this website you would necessarily know as a dieting website, but you know, I'm not seeking solutions to love my body. And so I'm not looking at these websites to feel better in my body. And so I'm not exposed to this stuff. And so when I, when I see it, and I know it's out there, obviously, you know, because I see like the big companies doing Weight Watchers talking about love yourself. And I'm like, Excuse me. So yeah, it just makes me mad that people who are more vulnerable in how they feel about themselves at this moment are being exploited in ways that are unethical in my my viewpoint. And, yeah, so mad, makes me mad. But also, I'm not a perfect person. I know. I know, it's a shock to you. It's a shock. It's a shock. But yeah, I'm not a perfect person, either. But let's all just try to move forward and not look back in 15 years at where we are right now. And be like, Oh, I didn't grow at all from then. In fact, all of the bigoted beliefs that I still hold held, then I still hold on to now and they're even more you know, it's just trying to be better people, right. Okay. Thanks for hanging out with me for this ranting episode. This, this, I need to tell you this because it's on my mind is on my mind, I need to tell ya. If you want to see that that post about the ramp and fatphobia in Liberal spaces need to stop. Then go to the show nudes first party.com forward slash 058 Episode 58. And you'll see that and if you have questions for the show, there's a little link in there to send questions to the show.

Speaker 1

49:25

And yeah, my voice is going so I'm gonna go. Thanks for hanging out. You're the best CLI or combining

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