You're listening to the humaning podcast with real conversations, as we call bullshit on everything capitalism, the patriarchy and white supremacy culture has duped us into believing about self care, mental health, fitness, wellness and all things life. I am Steff Gallante And I created this show to support bad ass people doing solidarity work in pursuit of disrupting these systems in their lives and communities together, we'll discuss how systems of oppression are keeping us unwell and disconnected from ourselves and each other, and how to best support you in creating more aligned self care practices that will help you human more easily. It's the shit we need to talk about. Hey there, welcome back, and for those of you who are new to the show, a big, loud, colorful, salty and spicy Welcome to you. I am so glad to be connecting with all of you here in the ether. And I'd like to start by asking, How are you feeling these days? The first four weeks of the fall have been a lot. I know changing schedules amped up responsibilities. Maybe there were some bouts of sickness in your home space. Maybe there is something going on now. September for me, never fails to smack me in the face, even amidst all of the pre fall prep that I do in the summer, like even despite all that. But I have to be honest, this past September was pretty potent that way, as were the first few weeks of October. And so my hope for you is that by this point, any big changes that September brought to your schedule, and you know, any new responsibilities or increase in responsibilities, like all that, I'm hoping may have settled for you, or have at least begun maybe to settle down. I know it has for me, just in the last week or so, and I feel like finally I have some tangible space and time to breathe and sometimes just be still. And if life is not that, not yet, there for you yet, I'd like to offer you this reminder that this time is not permanent. It will shift, and I know that that's not always helpful for me, but sometimes it is and sometimes it's not helpful right right in the moment, but later on in a little bit of a less stressful moment, it's Oh yeah, okay, so maybe not for now, but maybe a reminder that will be timely some other time today or later on the week. Now, as we dive into today's goodness, I feel called to name a few things for us, which are themes that have been pretty consistent through many of my conversations recently, both with clients and friends. And these themes pertain to our collective exhaustion and overwhelm. As I mentioned just before, my schedule is easing up a bit, and I have more space and time for creative work, as well as to tend to myself more frequently or in longer bouts. But I've noticed for myself, as well as in conversation with others, that there seems to be kind of like this veil of cloudiness or heaviness that is present in a way that I haven't experienced before this time of year like any other year. And I'm talking with other people, and they're feeling the same. I'm not sure if this is the same for you, and so again, like I'm just feeling this cloudiness or this heaviness at this time of year that I've never felt at this time of year before, and this could be due to many different things, and I need to make sure that I acknowledge that our identities are at the intersections of them, as well as our lived experiences definitely play a huge part in how we are individually experiencing any moment, and especially This moment, and also many of us, despite those factors, are having very similar experiences based on all the fuckery that's been and continues to go on in the world, on top of, of course, whatever we're going on, whatever is going on for us individually. And I know you know, like I'm coming up to the year anniversary of my dad passing, and this month, this week, this month, this year, everything has just been so much and so different, and so that, for me, is playing a big part in, you know, the overwhelm and the heaviness that I'm feeling this this year in particular, but I think also you know that you. So there are also other things that have to be factored in here. And I know that I name you know, the fuckery going on in the world often, and I often call out the effect it's having on us. And I know that you are hugely aware of what's going on, but I think what might be happening to some of us is that we might be becoming desensitized or numb to a lot of it all as a way to cope, to continue to cope with this level of ongoing stress and horror that it's come to the point where we either don't think about or maybe even discount the effect of all of it, because we have to just keep dealing with it all. And there's one thing after another, and also there's a part of me that wonders if maybe we think that we should just be able to handle all of it or handle it better than we are. Honestly, I don't know, right, but what I do know is that spiritual bypassing and gaslighting are real and present, and some of us, including me, we are masters of doing this to ourselves, even as we begin to learn more about our patterns and our behaviors. And this is not at all me shaming you, and I'm not shaming myself either, not at all. You all know, and if you're new to the show, anytime I'm calling out stuff, anytime that it makes us feel prickly about our own behavior or own experiences, know that I am never shaming at all, and I'm really sorry if it lands for you that way, because you know, shame is just really an ugly beast. It is a tough one to deal with, but often that shame is attached to other things, not necessarily, you know, the one thing I'm calling out. And so just know like this is always coming from a place of love and like realness of like this is what we have to pay attention to, right? And so if we start to make our way backward in time from here or from the beginning of fall, that brings us to the summer, which may, for you, have had some sweetness or a lot of sweetness, and also, let's be real, lots of hard ass shit happened in the world during those months. And that's all, after all, that's been going on for the last year and during the summer months, as well as in the recent days, we've been and continue to be inundated with all things us, presidential election, whether you're here in the US or not. And when it comes to all this stuff having to do with the election, it's not even good or fair election things, but straight awfulness and confusion and just again and again, and this all is being compounded by the fact that we're still experiencing and processing the fallout of COVID and from COVID. So friends, I'm naming this because I think that it's really important to remember that the exhaustion you're feeling, if that's how you're feeling, is real, and there are very real and huge reasons for it, and the overwhelm you might be feeling is real, and there are very real and huge reasons for it too. And if you are feeling daily like a feeling of what the fuck is going on? This is real, and there are very real and huge reasons for that too. And all of it is taking a toll.
I know you have to feel it in some way, shape or form, whether consciously or somewhere below the surface of your consciousness, and there's no way it couldn't take a toll. I'm often criticized by people who say that I'm too real, too straightforward, too doom and gloom when it comes to naming how fucked up shit is and how tired we are. It's as if those people don't want to recognize it, and that likely has to do with their own life experiences and shit that they're carrying. Maybe they were never able to express how they truly felt about things, or when they did, they were never met with a safe, split, safe place to land with those feelings and those words. Or maybe nobody ever validated them. I know, for me, you know, it's been a journey for me to get to this place of like speaking truth to power and saying we know like this is not right, and there's a reason for how we are feeling and why we're feeling this way. And oh, by the way, it's not because we are trying to do too much or not doing enough of what we should be doing. You know, all that bullshit that we hear, especially those of us who were assigned female at birth or conditioned as females, you know, of having to always do so fucking much. And then for those of us who belong to the global majority, you know, having to always work so freaking hard, just for a little bit. And so for me, for as a person who grew up with the understanding that I had to work twice as hard to be seen as half as good, spiritually, bypassing my experiences and needs and gas. Myself into basically an alternate reality has left me, you know, in a pretty normal practice, I have to be honest and I shame myself for not doing or being enough and feeling too tired and swamped along the way. I remember my well intentioned dad reminding me that I didn't have an option to not work hard. And so this was my whole life. And so in recent years, I've been doing some really hard work in uncovering the roots of my spiritual bypassing and self gaslighting tendencies and working on recognizing them so that I can begin to change my behavior. And I know it's freaking hard. I know it is, but my hope is that if I continue to name what is for myself and for others, and what is is that we are exhausted down to a cellular level and overwhelmed to the point of near constant dysregulation. In some way. I'm hoping that this will help you too, and understand that the fact that we have to keep coping like this is causing us to basically be highly functioning, exhausted, dysregulated people out in the world, and it's making us really unwell. And so you might be finding yourself yearning for time to spend nourishing yourself, or maybe yearning for a time when you don't feel so much if you're over stimulated from your own feelings, or whatever's going on in the world, or maybe you're yearning for a time when you you're not feeling so little because you're dumb. You might be finding that you're returning to old behaviors that don't serve you, or you're neglecting your self care altogether, or maybe in an effort to do self care more or better, you're actually over complicating things us high, high and over achievers. We are so good at that. But you know, it's not working. And it's not working not because you're not trying hard enough. You know the old behaviors are old because they no longer serve us, and they maybe served us when we were a different version of ourself, and we can't neglect our care, because that impacts our ability to be regulated and sound with ourselves and others and in our work, it's likely you, like me, are finding your ability to be present and make decisions and maybe look into the future for plans to be really hard, or maybe it's easy because you're escaping reality for a little while, but then leaving things unattended, right that are really important, and if you, like me, tend to experience a lot of shame around your lack of energy, your lack of interest, or your lack of ability to show up in the way you think you should, whether that's actually realistic or not, right? I invite you to open space for that, for that shame, rather than judging yourself or trying to hide it away in some, you know, imaginary closet somewhere. I know that's hard, because shame really sucks, and I'll have more to say about shame in a future episode. But for now, I want to invite you into this practice of seeing if you can start to recognize when shape is creeping shame is creeping in, or maybe it's fully rearing its ugly head, and just create space for it to be there, not doing anything about it, just letting it be there, acknowledging it and just letting it be there, it's going to be really hard and gross and uncomfortable. Most likely facing these vulnerable parts of ourselves always is. But if you can keep doing it anyway, with a lot of grace and compassion along the way, as for how in the world we'll get through the rest of fall, I have some suggestions now, if already this episode has been like, oh, wow, I've got a lot that I'm chewing on right now, you can stop here and come back, because this particular episode I've created to be kind of a guide and a resource that you can come back to week after week, after week, month after month. You don't have to listen to it all in one sitting, or whatever it is that you're doing. Maybe you're not sitting. You can come back. And even if you do listen to it all the way through, come back to it. There's a lot in here, and it's purposeful. So remember when it comes to fall? Well, really forget fall in general. Something that we need to remember is the bigger or the more tumultuous the energy we're feeling is, the bigger or more Tor more tumultuous the energy we're feeling is, or within the changes we're facing, the smaller and more simple your self care practices need to be okay. Bigger more tumultuous energy that we're feeling, or the changes that we're we're facing are the smaller and simpler our self care practices need to be. And since fall specifically, is a hugely variable season outside in. Nature simple is key to establish steadiness, stability and compassion within us and around us, because we are affected by the energy that's out in nature. And this is especially important when we have to rely on ourselves to create steadiness, stability and compassion for ourselves and those around us. So when it comes to creating a more balanced fall as you navigate your busy schedule and tackle your never ending to do list, amidst the dumpster fire that is this world, there are a few areas you can focus on for your self care. Now, within these offerings that I have, you can choose one area to focus on that feels easiest or the one that feels most needed. And let me be clear, while all of these are beautiful, necessary and timely practices, you do not have to do all of them. One is enough, and that is a premise of Ayurveda. And Ayurveda wisdom, where we change one thing and we stick to that change as often as we can for a while, and we get that ingrained before we add something else. One seriously, the way you get an A my high achiever, is by doing one simple thing. And remember, I have to remind myself about this all the time too. Now the reality is, you might be feeling like for the love of all that is good in this world. Steff, please don't give me options to choose from. Just tell me what to do, and I get that, believe me, I do. But unfortunately, I can't do that in this particular space, since I don't know exactly what you're experiencing. So I'm offering a variety of themes, because we are each experiencing life differently, and our individual needs may be different. What will speak to me may not speak to you, and there just is not one catch all or one size fits all practice that will suit all of us. There's just not. And anybody who says there is, well, they're misinformed. Probably let me not say a blanket statement, but there's usually not one, unless it's to just be kind to yourself, right? So please know this offering that I'm making today in this episode is deliberately robust, with the hopes that one of these themes will meet you where you are. And if you're looking for more specific guidance, though, and more ease for yourself as you explore this, we can definitely talk through all of this one on one in a release the pressure call, and I'll give you all the information about that later on the episode. So you're not alone, and you don't have to do this alone. But here are the optimal areas of focus for a balance. Fall right. Just take it in. And I would, I would encourage you as I name the this list of things, just see which one kind of like pokes you or settles with you, or gives you a little hug, see ready,
in no particular order, this is not a priority to highest list, or like a hierarchy of any nature. First is nourish and resource yourself deeply, mentally, emotionally, physically and energetically. The second is be warm, moist and oily from the inside out. Third is stay grounded in your wisdom. Fourth is calm your nervous system and prioritize creating ease in your vibe, slowing your roll and rest. The next one is routine rituals, specifically in the morning or the evening, with an awareness throughout the day. And the last is engaging and loving relationships, especially with yourself. Now you might be like, well, I need all of them. So guess what? Remember, choose one, either that's the easiest one for you to do or the one that's most needed. And you might be wondering about some examples for each of these categories, so I'm going to offer some here. And remember, think of this episode as a reference that you can come back to again and again and again throughout the fall, not just this one time it is here for you in the long haul, because the offerings are robust purposefully, right? So let's dive in. When it comes to nourishing and resourcing yourself deeply, mentally, emotionally, physically and energetically. You can choose one of two ways to explore this. Of course, there are other ways too, but I'm gonna offer two. First is feed your senses with different experiences, whatever your senses are, whether that's sight, sound, taste, feel, smell, feed your senses with different experiences, anything that uplifts and nourishes you, anything that helps you to feel safe and steady, right? Secondly, identify which of the areas mentally, emotionally, physically and energetically, that you're feeling the most lack in and tend to yourself in that area in one small way. So maybe mentally you're just feeling exhausted. Well, what would a mental reset look like? What would mental nourishment look like? Same thing for emotional, same thing for physical, same thing for energetic. And energetic might be something that talks to your soul, talks to your spirit. Now you may be finding that there's one thing that you do that satisfies all four of those areas. Great, cool, that's fine. You don't do four different things, right? Make it simple now, when it comes to being warm, moist and oily from the inside out, there are a few things you could do. You can drink warm or root temperature water first thing in the morning after your oral routine, you can add lemon or a dab of honey. You can drink room temperature or warm water or herbal or spiced tea. Throughout the day, you can do an oil massage a couple of times a week before you know, 10 to 20 minutes before your shower, you could flush your navel nasal passages, not your navel passage, your nasal passages with saline or salt water. Some people like to lubricate their nostrils with nausea oil. You can eat more mushy foods that are well spiced with oil, but not excessively, that might look like soups and stews and, you know, roasted vegetables, or, you know, whatever meats you enjoy. You can also run a humidifier at night, especially once the heat has been turned on in your home spaces. Now, a note for anybody who is experiencing deep lethargy right now, and you may find that too much moisture, any additional oil, more grounding, tools can actually be aggravating for you, might pull you down even further. And so instead, you're going to need to use false energy to uplift you. And if you've got questions about that, let's meet and release the pressure call, right? Okay, so coming to staying grounded in your wisdom, this is a tough one sometimes, because it really forces you to tune in. And I know that can be hard, because sometimes when we tune in, we gotta face some stuff, right? So you might spend some time quiet in the morning or at night, simply just thinking about what is important to you, and allowing there to be a one pointed focus for that little stretch of time, for a few breaths, for a few moments, and allowing anything else that is present, anything that is unrelated to your wants and needs, but that's coming into your mind, that's happening around you, to be present, not pushing them away, but your focus is simply on you. That's one simple way, also you can stay grounded in your wisdom by a simple practice of mindful awareness throughout the day, paying attention to when your body and mind are signaling you, and simply noticing what the message is, or actually making a point to check in with yourself throughout the day, like touch points, like, Okay, I'm going to do this at 10 o'clock and two o'clock and seven o'clock, whatever it is, again, just to see what's going on, even if You don't tend to yourself in the moment. And then when you do have time and space to tend to yourself, you take small steps to meet whatever need is there. This also is an invitation to stop bypassing yourself. This might start with using the restroom when you need to, rather than putting it off until you finish whatever it is that you're doing. It might be letting go of blame and shame when you need to tender yourself. And finally, another option is to being nature without any external stimulation. And there are so many benefits to being present in nature, even just for a short while, like literally 30 seconds, whenever you're safe to it tends to slow time down, helps you to clear your head, tempering the drama and the stress so you can exhale, see more clearly, better problem solve and and access your creativity, which are all really, really, probably necessary things for you throughout your day. Now we're coming to calming your nervous system and prioritizing creating ease in your vibe and slowing your roll and resting. So I have a question for you. Can you start to notice the energy or vibe you're bringing to your day? That would mean, like noticing when you're leading your day or your moments with a frantic energy, or must do it all costs energy. There's nothing wrong with either of these things, right of wanting to do a lot of things or get things done, or feeling excited to get stuff done, but remember, it's the underlying vibe that we want to pay attention to. So you might notice when you're push, push, pushing and slow down. Maybe, why wonder, Why am I feeling Why am I pushing so hard? Right? When you're working on something, notice when your mind wanders or start to plan, worry or you know, think about, you know, something in the future and bring your mind back to what you're doing. Notice when your mind moves 10 steps ahead and bring it back to the current step right. You can also pace yourself throughout the day. Pace yourself rather than trying to go from, you know, the very beginning of the day, 100 miles an hour. We know that's not sustainable. So what about 80 miles an hour? Right? I'm not going to ask you to slow it down. Way, way slow down, but like slower can you? Can you try to and then take purposeful pauses throughout the day? Right? Right, even if you've ever watched NASCAR, I'm not really a NASCAR NASCAR watcher, but I know that there are periodic pauses even in that race where they've got to come into the pit. You've got to do that too, and then go back to whatever speed you're working at, but trying to slow it down just a bit, take purposeful pauses that support you in a very specific way. You might also bring in some practices that release tension, help you to relax, maybe feel restful, even if it's not napping or sleeping right, something that feels rejuvenative to you, and only you can decide what that is, or I can help you. You might consider seven types of rest, and we have been talking about these all year, physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social, spiritual, you may find that it is restful in one way, invigorating in another way, that's okay. And again, remember, rest is not just sleeping or napping. It is reducing stimulus in one way. And when you reduce stimulus in one way, often you heighten stimulus in another way. But the hope is that it's going to be something that nourishes you. All right. The next and second to last theme is routine rituals, specifically in the morning or in the evening, with an awareness throughout the day. Some easy way to do this is breathing in meditation, in a quiet, reflective practice, morning, noon, night, right pick anchor points in your day, after meals, before meals. If there is a certain period of your work day that you typically have free, maybe it's waiting, if you pick up anybody from appointments or school, it's waiting in that line or waiting where you're parked. I mean, there are so many ways you could do this. Allow yourself to connect to your breath. Allow yourself to envision anything that you want to be coming to fruition, taking root, taking some time, as we've been talking about, to just be, to just see what comes up in your mind.
I really love yoga, Nidra this time of year. It's a guided meditation. If you're unfamiliar, I have quite a few practices that I offer my self care, the clients that are in my self care, mentorship, it's just such a wonderful practice. You might journal, you might visualize. You might also practice Asana, right yoga shapes in the morning or in the evening, taking time to warm up, slowly moving through joints, grounding yourself, moving slowly, intentionally, fluidly, gentle inversions where your head is going lower than your your heart and hips, maybe connecting with the earth beneath you. Something restorative. You may also establish consistent meal times throughout the day, whether that's three meals, whether that's five meals, whatever it is that you do, letting there be a little bit more consistency, and it's okay if that, you know, has to be flexible day to day, but you know, definitely not skipping meals that is going to really aggravate the energy that's already in the air this fall, and then bedtime rituals that foster a deep connection to yourself and let you love on yourself, whether that's reading a book just for pleasure, whether that is watching something that makes you laugh, makes you feel, you know, maybe it's something nostalgic from you know, years ago, so many things that You can do, and then finally, engaging in loving relationships with yourself as well, taking time to do things that let you up your hobbies, tending to those loving relationships in your life. Maybe you typically text with this one person. Call them instead, allow yourself to be supported and filled, especially if you're the one that normally supports when somebody offers you something, say yes rather than No, no, no, no, no, no, right. Let them do that for you. So friends. Remember fall in nature, as well as America specifically, is a ridiculously busy and tumultuous time choosing any one of these areas to focus on, or any one of these particular self care practices for the remainder of the season will reap huge benefits, especially if you start small, stay small and keep it simple, use the time you have, even if it's literally 30 seconds or five minutes, whether that's daily, every other day, once a week, whatever it is, see where you can block out your schedule for either those particular bouts or longer ones, if that's something that you want to do, to keep yourself accountable to whatever it is that you want to do. And also think about making options for the practice that you choose based on when. You have low time and energy, a second option for when you have medium time and energy, and a third option when you have high time and energy. And remember, we can always meet in a release the pressure call to hash out a bunch of options for the self care practice you choose, as well as to strategize, or strategies to utilize for yourself one life lives so that you can continue to nourish yourself in the way that you need to. And if you're feeling really bogged down and like grounding is the last thing you need, we can definitely discuss options to lighten your load, your energetic load, and help you feel more uplifted without being becoming, you know, too over sensitized. If that's a word I've got you, and you can find the link to the release the pressure call in the show notes or on my website. And in the meantime, definitely hop onto my email newsletter list so that you can get all of the goodness dropped into your inbox too. Until next time, my friend, please be kind to yourself, just as you would to those who are most important to you, whether that is a human, an animal, baby or a plant. I always love to hear from you. Please, please, please, leave the show a rating. Leave the show a review. Share it, download it, save it, follow it. Do all the things you I can't tell you how much that means for other people to be able to find the show. Then I'm so glad that we are together here in this time and space, and remember, you are a badass and you are deserving of your own unconditional love, grace and compassion. So my friend, cut the crap and get out of your own way and give that to yourself and be well human. Ing is a production of Steff Gallante, self care LLC. The show is produced by me Steff Gallante. You can find blog posts of some of the episodes on the episode page at Steff gallante.com/podcast along with the transcript of today's episode and any other resources I shared today. If you're ready to create more aligned practices for yourself, head to Steff gallante.com to learn more about creating a personalized self care plan within the holistic self care collective and coaching with me, you are a badass and you are enough See you next time. Be well. You.
