I think I think the trauma for me and actually this on on a thread in advance of this conversation. I think the trauma for me was was a lot of them. It was deeply personal and you know, a bit of a debate with myself in my mind. And so what happened was, of course, with the story on the Pandora Papers, we were taking on the most powerful family, not just the president but the most powerful family in the country at the time and exposing things about them that they may not have wanted exposed for some people felt and quite legitimately, that it wouldn't be a good idea for my family and I to kind of hang around and see what the responses to the story would be and asked us to go and lay low for a bit to get pull the kids off to school. You know, staying in a ratty apartment somewhere for about a month and that's fine. That's okay. Because, again, I don't want to try and wear this as some sort of badge that or some sort of burden that I've carried alone. This has been the experience and much worse for a lot of investigative journalists around the world. But why I say that the battle was more one of our mental one was because at that point in time with the kinds of reactions or no reactions, little reactions that the story elicited with the kind of misinformation that came up around the story. It really forced me to think about why it was I was putting my family through this, you know, and, and you see, whereas I've developed those shock absorbers for these kinds of stories over time. My kids haven't, you know, and they are now at the age where they can truly question my, my work and the things that I do. And those were some hard conversations to have. And people don't realize this about journalists or you know, the it's not just one person behind the byline. You know, there's a family there's, you know, there's there's a community of people who are impacted by anything that happens to that journalist. And I'm in for a long spell there while we were away, I guess maybe because I had the time to think about it. I really did think about just, you know, hanging up my boots and then moving on to something a little easier, a little less threatening a little, you know, something that that doesn't give get me you know, awkward stares or, or silly questions. Like are you recording me or, or make me the ire of politicians and elite and people in the elite that I haven't met? We've done stories about, you know, those kinds of things kind of started to percolate. And I just wondered whether in my own desire and ambition to want to continue doing investigative journalism, whether it was offering my children and my wife a normal life. And that's a heavy thing to ask yourself because this isn't a normal life. And is it fair for me to impose this on them simply because I have that permission? It certainly did. Change the matrix of why it is that I do what I do. And I think in the long term, it will inform or give me a bit of a richer understanding of what it is and why it is I do what I do. And why it is that I I am still in this profession. Ultimately, and again, I don't want to seem like some sort of martyr or sacrificial lamb or something like that. But ultimately, there have to be those those of us who naively choose to be naive in our belief that that journalism does change things. And that the work that we do, though insignificant as one piece, or as two pieces over time, builds a body of work that can talk to the better angels in our society, and that can expose wrongdoing over time that can speak to systems and, and it you have to kind of try and explain that over time to the people who love you.