Neon One makes software solutions specifically built for nonprofits. You can finally have your donor management, fundraising software, program management, and nonprofit operations all in one place. Learn how Neon One can help your nonprofit create long lasting relationships by visiting neonone.com/weareforgood.
Hey, I'm Jon.
And I'm Becky.
And this is the We Are For Good podcast.
Nonprofits are faced with more challenges to accomplish their missions and the growing pressure to do more, raise more and be more for the causes that improve our world.
We're here to learn with you from some of the best in the industry, bringing the most innovative ideas, inspirational stories, all to create an impact uprising.
So welcome to the good community. We're nonprofit professionals, philanthropists, world changers and rabid fans who are striving to bring a little more goodness into the world.
So let's get started. Oh, Becky, this is gonna be on our face today. I mean, do you get to like set this up for how we got to know Amy, and then I want to introduce her.
Okay, I was just thinking as the intro is starting, we talked so much on this podcast about the importance of being seen, and being seen for who you truly are. And we're bringing in somebody today, who not only can teach the art of perception, but understands the value of seeing things as they truly are. And so we have a really good friend, Lynne Wester, and she is the queen of donor relations and evolve modern fundraising thinking. And we were visiting her with with her one day, and she said, I don't know this person. But I saw her speak at a conference. And I will tell you, it was one of the most revolutionary talks I've ever heard in my life. You gotta have her on the podcast. And so we reached out, it's been like, nine months in the making or something in the day is finally here. Amy Herman is with us on the We Are For Good podcast,
I mean, so we have Lynne Wester's Ungettable Get List on the podcast today. And the more we find out about Amy, like, I'm so excited for this conversation. So let me tell you a little bit about her story. She is a lawyer and an art historian. You know, I've got my art history minor over here. So I'm gonna try to hang in this conversation. But she uses works of art to shop sharpen observation, and analysis and communication skills. And she does this with some of the most incredible organizations around the world. Like, casually, she's going to be in Paris in three days working with some of her clients, but she works with the New York City Police Department, the FBI, the French National Police, the Department of Defense, and we keep keep going on fortune 500 companies bring her in, because she teaches a different way to see the world and to really pause and look beyond the surface. And today, we want to like apply this whole conversation through the lens of fundraising and our nonprofit work, because we all know we're overloaded, we're busy. And in that busy, it's really easy to go just like so fast that we don't stop to really perceive what's happening to perceive what's happening in our donors life, or even in our own life. And so we're here to really celebrate Amy has a brand new book that's coming out, which is called smart, use your eyes to boost your brain it's dropping right now in October. But she has an incredible body of work to where she really teaches a lot of these lessons through a really applied sense. And so you've got to get connected with her and me, we're just delighted to have you on the show. Thanks for saying yes. And being here today.
I'm so happy to be here. And I have to give a hat tip to Lynne Wester too, because I'm a believer in good people connecting good people. And when we take the time to let those connections come to life, really great things come out of it. So I thank her for putting us together to already so generous.
Yeah, and I mean, we definitely feel the same way community is everything. And that is just a thread of every conversation we have. But Amy, tell us a little bit about your story. I mean, tell us how you grew up where you grew up, and just kind of what carried you to wanting to pour into this really incredible work your, your living today.
Well, thank you for that lovely introduction. And for having me. It's I'm gonna start actually with a quote because one of the things you said resonated about pausing when we all take the time to pause to listen to each other. And you know, as the physicist Max plug said, we have two ears and one mouth Oh, no, he didn't say it say I get all my quotes wrong. We have two ears in one mouth for a reason. You know, we should be listening twice as much as we're talking. And I've had to pause a lot in my career to sort of reflect on where I am and what I was looking for. So the journalist Frank Bruni wrote about a pause and he said, a pause is when passions cool. Civility gets oxygen and wisdom finds its wings. And I find that third part wisdom finding its wings. We don't pause enough to really let wisdom find its wings. And so I've learned in my life pausing is key. So I had studied art history and Undergraduate I loved art history. But I really didn't know what to do with the end of college. So what do you do when you don't know what to do with art history? You go to law school?
Not sure I'll be a lawyer podcast, no idea what being a lawyer in town. So fast forward, I went to law school I really hated it. I, I found it stifling. But I did it. And I went to every art museum in Washington, DC that you could go to, I graduated from law school, and then what do you do you take a job with a law firm, and you become more miserable than you were in law school. And at the tender age of 28, I said, you know, I can't do this the rest of my life, I can't be this unhappy. And I remember when I told the senior partner that I was leaving the law firm, he said to me, you know, you don't have to like something to be good at it. And I said, maybe you don't, but I do. And so I made a big leap. And I left the law. And I went to work for an art museum in New York City as a lawyer, they did hire me as a lawyer. And I thought, well, this is the first step, you know, I'm young, you have to take these steps. And it really changed my life. So I started working at the Brooklyn Museum in New York City. I was only there 18 months. And then I went to work at the Frick Collection in Manhattan. And again, life changing move, life changing move i be i started out as the assistant to the director. And you know, when doors open when you seize opportunities, and 12 years later, I found myself as the Head of Education at the Frick Collection. And I started the program that I'm doing now, while I was at the Frick Collection. The idea was very simple. And it wasn't my idea. Up at Yale, they were taking medical students out of the hospital and out of a clinical setting, and they were bringing them to an art museum to help them enhance their communication skills. And so with Yale's very gracious permission, while I was at the Frick Collection, I started a similar program. And, and it was wonderful, I had medical students coming and going, and it was beautiful for collection. And then things exploded from there. But you know, taking that leap, pausing in my life to look back and say, you know, the law isn't doing it for you, you could do it, but you're gonna be unhappy. And people said, Oh, you were brave. I wasn't brave at all. I had to be happy. This wasn't about courage. This was about let's try to find happiness. And I knew that art would make me happy. So I did it. I made the big leap.
I mean, you are just one of those incredible success stories. And we, you know, we're ridiculous idealist over here. We really own it. But we talk all the time. Yes, it is. But it's like, why would you spend your time doing something that doesn't give you passion, that doesn't give you curiosity, that doesn't give you love and gratitude. And the beauty of being a nonprofit is you can find that in spades. If you look around. However, it is a busy, busy landscape. And it's very hard for us to lift our heads up sometimes and look around. And I'm just really curious about this journey of perception that you have been on. And the fact that you call it The Art of Perception is just so perfect for you. And the story is it's backed up. Talk to us about when you started to notice. And I'm like notice in air quotes, like you started to observe that something was different in this practice, like I would love to know how the study began for you and became this lifelong passion.
Well, I agree with you completely about finding one's passion. And it's easy to say that, but I've gotten to a place in my life. I've been doing this for 20 years, and I have friends from law school who say, I can't stand to be in the room with you because you are oozing happiness, you are oozing gratitude. Not only have I found what I love to do, but it's given me a way to give back to so many different parts of society in a way that I never could have as a lawyer and your question about, you know, noticing. So when I started this program for medical students, I would bring them into the museum and I would say, Look, we're not going to talk about illness. Today, we're talking about what we see, because that undergirds us as human beings, we all see something, even people who are visually impaired have their mind's eye. So I have these medical students coming and going out of the free collection. And one night I was out to dinner with my friends. And I was telling them that my medical students didn't just had narrow vision of the world. They had no vision of the world. It was all about hematomas and MRIs. And my friend said to me, Why are you just doing this for medical students? Why aren't you passing this wisdom on about the value of looking at perception to other people? And I said, like whom who do you think would need this? And my friend said, How about Homicide investigators? How about police officers? How about nurses? How about anybody that's in the people business or hospital? Look for a living. And I thought you're right. Why am I not doing this? So Monday morning, that was Saturday night, Monday morning, I picked up the phone. And I made a cold call to the New York City Police Department just a cold call and the poor man at the other end of the phone. He picked up the phone, I was transferred seven times seven times.
Emergency, right?
And I said to him, I remember I said, Hi, my name is Amy Herman. I'm the Head of Education, the Frick Collection. And I had this great idea. I trained medical students to enhance their observation skills. And you know, by looking at works of art, and I think you should send homicide detectives to the museum. And the guy's like, ah, Let me transfer you. And I was transferred seven times, until I reached a deputy commissioner. And I'll never forget what he said he became a dear friend of mine. He said, Miss Herman, if this is such a visual thing, then why are we on the phone? Boom. Six months later, every newly promoted captain in the NYPD was coming to the free collection for training. And six months after that, that collaboration made the front page of the Wall Street Journal, and my world exploded in every possible way. So it comes down to listening and thinking and seizing an opportunity to reach out to people who might be in need of something like this. And it's my honor and privilege to tell you I've now worked with 13 divisions of the NYPD teaching them how to look at works of art.
See the parallel that aim, you'd be the most incredible fundraiser in nonprofits.
And it started with a cold call.
All of us fundraisers can identify with my secret when I went to the Brooklyn Museum, I started in their development department. And when I was the head of education at the Frick Collection, I worked very closely, I did grant writing all the time. Because when you are passionate about something, you translate that and you want to make donors excited about what you're doing. So the idea of fundraising and sharing that passion has always been at the heart of what I'm doing.
Wow. I mean, and you also just saw the gap, you saw the opportunity, you knew what they what stake they would have in this and you were able to paint that picture and connect the dots. What an incredible story. Talk about how the Art of Perception seminar like how has it kind of grown beyond that, because I mean, we're talking before this interview, you're consulting with fashion brands, and you're working with all this different kind of verticals. Now, how has it expanded and grown.
It's expanded in ways I could have never, ever imagined, I mean from I would have never thought about writing books or working with some of the people. It's such an honor and a privilege for me to work with so many people whose boots are on the ground, in our world in so many different sectors. And what I've realized is that all of us need to look, we're all in the people business from not for profits, to fundraisers, to companies, to critical response teams, to the military, we're all dealing with people and anything that's going to give us a better understanding and insight to what it is that we observe in people and their behaviors and where they are. And when I talk about meeting people where they are, I mean literally and figuratively. It helps us not only to do our jobs, but to be better, more engaged people. And so as I've expanded after that article appeared in The Wall Street Journal, I got calls from all corners of the of the world. And they all said the same thing. They all said, come teach us how to see like you did those cops in New York. And I said, you know, I really can't teach anybody how to see I'm not equipped. I'm not a neuroscientist person. I said, but what I can do is help you to think differently about the work that you're doing, and what you see and how you perceive it, and translate it in a way that helps you engage more fully with the people, with your donors, with your colleagues and with the work that you're doing. And it's expanded, as my father said the other day, there's not a business you can't work with. Yeah, you know, there it goes from the military, to critical care nurses, to hospice workers, to fragrance brands, because we're all in the people business.
I couldn't agree more with you. And I love your story and the winding path of it the applicability. And I mean, we are such proponents of the soft skills and fundraising, you can technically learn how to ask somebody for a gift and build a grant. But understanding the human being having self awareness and emotional intelligence, having perception and observation about the things that are not being said. I mean, we just had Bowie Carpenter on that was talking about how do we look for what's trending and not what's trendy. And it's like finding these, these ripples that really have resonance and go further are the things that of which great movements will be built. And I'm just wondering if you could walk us through an example of how you could see this Art of Perception playing out in fundraising. How could an a development officer and Ed maybe a donor Asians professional use some of these skills to sort of heighten their awareness of what the potential is and how to foster deeper relationships. What would you say to that?
Well, to two anecdotes come to mind, I worked in the not for profit sector for many years before I went out on my own. And somebody, he was the head of the development office in which I worked. And he said something that stuck with me, he said, if you have 15 minutes with a CEO of a company, or have a not for profit, after that 15 minutes, the talk with that person should have been should have inspired you that you want to take out your checkbook. That's how inspiring it should be. If you have 15 minutes, when you leave that conversation, you should feel so invested in what that person told you about what they do, that you are moved to take out your checkbook. And I thought about that a lot. And you have the word that the idea that comes out of this is genuineness, if you are genuine, about the work that you are doing, and about your connection to the work that you're doing, then you can do anything. I mean, you know, I'm not a believer in fake it till you make it. But we've all had to do it. Know when some, when some sector calls me and says, can you do us presentation for us? I say, of course I can. And then I go back and I think really they they design intergalactic warfare, you know, can I do that? Of course I can. But the other thing that I want to share with you happened fairly recently, I have a financial services client here in New York City. And they rented out the Museum of Modern Art for three hours in the evening. And they had 1600 of their new employees walking around MoMA. And they wanted me to walk around and talk about works of art and talk with their, their employees. So this one young man was following me from artwork to artwork to artwork the whole evening. And I said to him, do you have an interest in art? You know, he said, I hate art. And I said, Well, I don't know how anyone could hate art. I said, Why do you feel that way? He said, Because I'm in the banking business. And when I think of art, I think of money laundering and fraud and tax schemes and forgery. And I thought for you is what I thought really, I said to him, so why are you following me around. He said, Because watching someone who's so passionate about what they do, is so inspiring. I could listen to you all night long. And I thought to myself, it's not the art, this guy tax, you know, fraud, money laundering, tax fraud, that's how he would see these beautiful paintings. But the fact that I was connecting it and talking about my passion, and how these people could see the work of art, somehow touched him. And so I realized what I'm doing, and what the art is doing is greater than all of us, it's the ability to connect with people, and to make them feel included and say, Yes, I can do this, I can be passionate about something I can go, you know, I can take a deeper dive into this and find something meaningful in it. And you know, I just I tried to turn that negative, he did it, he turned that negative into a positive and walked around and probably saw 20 different objects with me that night.
Okay, that's such a great story. I've got to connect it to something I think that I experienced in nonprofit. And there is a different conversation that you have when you walk into a donor or a prospects office, and you're coming at the conversation through your lens, not the missions lens. And so this is why we talk about all the time on the podcast, your story is critical to how you see the mission. Because when I used to work in health care, and I would walk in and I would say oh, we do transplant, we have cancer care, we have heart we have peds. You know, that doesn't translate to the way that I can look someone in the eye and say, I suffer from infertility. And because of my health care organization, I have my daughter. And not only did they provide me with the science, and the medicine, to allow me to have my daughter through in vitro, they covered the cost at 90%. Because so our family through insurance, so our family wouldn't have the additional burden of having that financial overhead hanging on us. So not only do I think that this organization is incredible, because it saves lives. It creates families, it creates generations. And that's why I'm so passionate to be here. That is a different story. Then if somebody walks in and sells the mission, and so I think what you just said there and really challenging our listeners to say how does your mission impact you? What have you seen? What have you observed? What have you felt? What has changed you as a human being by virtue of being in this space, and I think Amy's got it. It starts with perception. And it starts with looking inward and pushing that out. So thank you AMI for awakening that story it made me think about it.
You know, and your story is so touching because it what it comes back to is one of the words I use before the genuineness of this. And you know I have a similar health care story not with fertility, but I am a very, very grateful cancer survivor. I had aggressive cancer. I had 16 sessions of chemotherapy, five rounds of radiation. I had no hair for 18 months and five surgeries.
You're rocking your hair, it is such a cute haircut.
Thank you. But I tell you that because I know the same way Sloan Kettering saved my life. I'm here because of Sloan Kettering. And so when I get a fundraising letter from Sloan Kettering I don't think they're asking for money. I think they saved my life. And one other story about fundraising that I think will resonate with a lot of your listeners. You know, we all have to do mail merges. We all do mass mailings, targeted mailings. And when I was at a certain Museum, the letters came back, and nobody had proofread them proofread them. So I was folding it. And on the salutation line, it said, do your 25,000. And I saw, thank goodness, we caught this error in the mail merge. But conceptually, nobody should ever get a solicitation that says Dear 25,000, it should be about the person and not the money. And that has stayed with me for 25 years because everybody knows that mailmerge does mess up sometimes. But that when we're asking for money, it should just be person to person mission to mission. And that connectivity is so important. So dear 25,000 should never happen.
That's in the Hall of shame for now is a great example. You bet.
Taking a quick pause from today's episode to thank our sponsor, who also happens to be one of our favorite companies Virtuous. You know, we believe everyone matters. And we've witnessed the greatest philanthropic movements happen when you both see and activate donors at every level. And Virtuous is the platform to help you do just that. It's so much more than a nonprofit CRM. Virtuous helps charities reimagine generosity through responsive fundraising, volunteer management, and online giving. And we love it because this approach builds trust and loyalty through personalized engagement. Sounds like Virtuous might be a fit for your organization, learn more today at virtuous.org or follow the link in our show notes.
Take a quick pause from today's episode to thank our sponsor, Slingshot Group, our friends over at slingshot group partner with nonprofits to recruit and hire great leaders build remarkable teams and unleash your missions potential. You know, we talk often about how much your organization's culture matters, especially today. And not just being a place that attracts talent, but also becomes a magnet to connecting donors to your mission. Slingshot group is the organization we trust to help you do just that. It's so much more than a staffing and executive search firm. Slingshot Group goes deep and gets to know your culture so they can help you find the leaders and staff who will take your mission to the next level. Sound like slingshot group might be a fit for your organization. Learn more today at slingshotgroup.org or follow the link in our show notes.
Well, I want to go even deeper on the perception conversation because you talk a lot about how assumptions and biases can really be dangerous and harmful, but they can also just make us ineffective at our work. So can we talk about that through the lens of how do you help people realize this, that they're doing it and then step into a different way.
Two things. First thing I talk about biases a lot. And I tell a whole room. I don't know any of you individually are but I say every single one of you has biases, every single one of you. And I'm not here to change them. I'm here to make you aware of them. Because some of our biases are good. Some of them aren't. And I'm going to tell you an exercise that I use with art to illustrate what bias is. I put up two paintings, one of Georgia or two works of art, a painting of George Washington and a photograph of Abraham Lincoln. And I say, Okay, we all know who these gentlemen are, right? We call them number one and number 16, just to make it easy. And I say okay, everybody in the room knows who they are. I take down the picture of Washington, and I put in a portrait of Barack Obama. And I watch everyone's face. I just watch their faces. Everyone's face changes. And I say to them, this is not a political session. I don't care if you loved Obama, you hated Obama, or you were indifferent to Obama. But every single person in this room has skin in that game. Everybody in this room live During the administration's of Barack Obama, and it's personal, whether it's taxes or race, or health care, or education, or Sasha, Malia, Bo, Michelle, anything, you all have a personal thought about Obama because you lived it. And then I put Lincoln back up, and I say, here, not so much. There's no skin in that game. So when I put Obama and Lincoln next to each other, how you see Obama affects how you look at Lincoln. That's what a bias is, when you have a personal experience with one thing, and then of colors, how you see everything else. That's what a bias is, and everybody gets it. Because everybody in the room lived during Obama's presidency. And hopefully, nobody in the room lived during Lincoln's presidency. So they can understand that biases happen when we have skin in the game good, bad or indifferent. And I can't change them. But you need to be aware when you might be acting out of a bias instead of looking as objectively as you should. So I use art to illustrate the point. And the power of those images. Everybody knows Washington, everybody knows Lincoln, and everybody knows Obama. And they know how they feel. And that bias comes pouring out.
Wow. And to just sit back and observe that the play of that is so fascinating to me, because I'm just so interested in humans and the way that humans move and think and act and feel.
And when you're watching the room and I make the change, some people shift in their chair. I see their arms or some people smile in this and they don't even know they're doing Yeah. And I watched them. And I think, wow, their body language alone is speaking volumes to me about the shift that I just made in pictures, just pictures. I didn't say a word. Wow, it's fascinating.
Okay, I have to go. Because I mean, I took literally, I don't know, 10 or 15 art history classes in college, because I'm with you, I would just love sitting there and getting lost in the stories of different art pieces, and the kind of the, the backstories and everything. But to me, what was fascinating about art history is that until you stop, you don't realize how intentional so much is or how much points to the culture, what was happening, or what they were trying to communicate in a way that maybe doesn't even make sense today, but was really clear, then, is that intentionality? Like? Is that something that you're training for to say when you're perceiving you're looking for? What are the intentional things that they're doing that maybe you're seeing reflected through the way they act or that you know, the motivations that they take as a donor or something like that? I'm curious how you translate that into people?
Well, you know, intentionality is that it's a, it's a great concept. Because it's again, it's one of those universal, universally applicable things people can, everybody has an intention or greater goal or an aim. So we can all say, Okay, we know what intentionality is, but the ability to really highlight it and, and, and segregated and talk about it. That's a whole other thing, that's really hard. Because sometimes what drives us isn't even apparent to us. And you know, when I was working with donors, when you took the time to listen to the donors, you know, the two ears and one mouth kind of thing, and you understand that their intentions can be multifaceted. Their intentions can be so deeply held, sometimes they sometimes people in fundraising know more things about the donor than their own families know, because they're willing to bear their soul with somebody to whom they're not related. And so we have to guard that information carefully, carefully. We have to be the shepherds and the stewards of that information. And tread lightly when it comes to intentionality. I'm going to compare it to forensics at a crime scene. What my cops taught me is let the crime scene talk to you let the evidence talk to you. And it can tell you what happened. But if you rush in there and say, Well, I've you know, been on 100 crime scenes, and I know exactly what I'm looking at, you're not letting the evidence talk to you. Same thing with a donor, let the donor talk to you. Let them tell you what's important to them. Let them tell you their life stories. And then you can shape your approach based on the things you've learned from them. So intentionality is very important, but it's not always going to be apparent. And sometimes we have to go on a Securitas route to get there. And sometimes you're not gonna find anything out, you could schedule a lunch and come out of there not knowing anything more than you did before other than the person's a vegetarian, because that's what they ordered at lunch. But really taking the time and the effort to seek out those intentions and those motivations and those drives, pays off in the end. It's nothing more than human to human. But it can also pay out in understanding a donors intent and where they want to make them to make a difference.
Write a fundraising book next. Is that possible?
I mean, let the evidence speak for you. You Amy Herman and Dexter, the TV show have taught me that. But I have used this example on the podcast. I want to bring it up again because I think it's so applicable When a donor invites you into their space, whether it's a business, whether it's their home, you know, wherever that space is, even if it's on Zoom, I think you have a lens into who they are. And I know I've said this before on the podcast, but it's like when I used to walk into a major gift prospects office for the first time, I would give myself four seconds from the door to the chair, and I would do the most quick ones over in the room. And I would figure out where my where our conversation was going to go from those four seconds, if I saw a bunch of awards, if I saw plaques, if I saw pictures of themselves shaking, there was a, b, or c, that's the opposite. Because if the tchotchkes are up in the self, look at me, look what I've done. I know I gotta make that conversation all about them. And I know this donor is going to want to be the hero. However, if I walk in, and the dogs at my feet, or I'm seeing fly fishing, you know, photos around her pictures, the family, I'm like, Okay, this is going to be a hardwired conversation. And I know I can talk about my family in this or am, I just think having that awareness that you can connect before you've ever opened your mouth, by just using the Art of Perception and observation is a really powerful antidote.
I've put it I've put a term on it, when I call visual intelligence is visual intelligence, you're using your visual intelligence, it's a tool that you have, just by looking around with purpose by looking at the name of their alma mater, on their Yes, on their diploma, by seeing how many pictures of their grandchildren are, who are all those children in those pictures. I look at the books on their shelf, they're not color coordinated like mine, but I see where their interests lie, to give us a common ground. And I'm not trying to be manipulative, it goes back to the phrase that I love. I'm trying to meet people where they are, you want to give them common ground and you want to meet them where they are find areas of mutual interest to learn as much about them as possible in the time that you have. And I call that visual intelligence.
From Amy's lips, to your ears, please take that advice. Because I will tell you, I had one instance where I did that. And I walked in. And the donor had photos of all of these organizations of like kids that he had given to and photos with him with the kids or pictures of the kids holding up. Thank you. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is somebody who is proud to Live generously. So okay, we got to get into some practical application here because we want to train people on how to heighten that visual intelligence, that art and perception. Talk to us about how we can become more perceptive, you have this great exercise called the four A's of critical inquiry. Walk us through that and how people listening can apply that.
Sure. The good news about the tools that I give people to do, it doesn't put anything more on your plate, you don't have to memorize anything. So the four A's apply to any new donor, any new conflict, any new position, any new employee, any new situation that you're facing, you practice for Ace, first, you step back and assess your situation. You say, Okay, what do I have in front of me? What are the parameters? What's going on here? The second set, the second A is to analyze the situation. Is there a problem here? What information do I have? What information might I need? What do I retain? And what can I get rid of? The third step is to articulate it, talk to a team member, talk to the person, send an email, send a text, ask a question, have a meeting, articulate what your assessment of the problem situation or environment is. And then you act, you make a decision, you decide, am I going to go forward? Am I not going to go forward? I need this. I don't need this. And the idea of assess, analyze, articulate and act breaks big problems down into bite sized pieces. So if you're facing this terrible deadline, I have this horrible deadline. I don't know how I'm gonna do it. Well, what's the first thing that I can do? Let's just put parameters around the deadline. Let's decide what can be done today and what can't be done today. So that idea of four A's when I want to give people have a single tool that can help them start to build their perception. Every day, I mean pandemic change some things but we go from point A to point B right? We get up in the morning we go to work we do. We go to school, we drop kids off, we do whatever. I want you to notice every day one thing that you didn't notice the day before, on your journey from point A to point B look outside where you usually look, look around you smell the air before you get in the car, just one thing that you didn't notice the day before, and then I want you to do it tomorrow. And the next day and the next day and you know happens if you do just one thing every day, your brain will automatically start to notice things that you didn't notice before. Will all of them have great consequences? No. But two things could happen. One, you could discover something that you would have never seen or known before. And two, it deepens your engagement with the world. Today was the first day that it really smelled like autumn in New York City, or just something that, you know, today, I actually heard birds on my street, just something to notice about the world around you. So that when you are in a situation that might not be particularly safe, or you're questioning whether you should be there, you can apply that same? Well, I noticed this, it wasn't like this last time, I'm noticing it this time. And so you train your own brain to see things that you didn't see before. And if you start to make a pattern of it, you'll start seeing things over and over again, that you would have never seen before.
I mean, what a powerful tool, and I feel like that, you know, a lot of people talk about the power of just speaking gratitudes too. And I just think that's part of it, too. When you start to realize that and you come in this rhythm, you realize like how much abundance there is. And I think that that's just a better way to live life. So what a beautiful exercise. I mean, obviously, your career has been completely fascinating. And I love that you just casually can hang out in the MoMA instead of the courtroom, you know, on a Friday night. Yeah, exactly. But we like to just pause and create space, honestly, to just reflect on the power of philanthropy and every one of our conversations a moment, when you pause and said, Man, this really matters. This is a experience that's impacted my life. We take us back to one on your journey.
I will. I will. It's very personal. But we still talk about it happened years ago. My father is going to be 90 in December. And Greg sister and I are very close. We're very close with my dad. He's all there in every way. And we realize we're we're realists that our Father is not always going to be with us. So we try to make the most of the time with him. And you know, we have a routine dad picks us up at the train station because we live in New York City. And usually we go out and have either a cup of coffee or a slice of pizza or just something to catch up before we go home. So we went to this little pizzeria in his town. And it was three o'clock in the afternoon. Not you know, a busy time for the pizzeria and dad, Jane and I each had a slice. And we were laughing and catching up and catching up. And it was just you know, our usual wonderful to see each other. And my father signaled to the waitress to get the check. And the waitress said, your bill is paid. And Dad said, I didn't pay it. She said No, someone came in to get their pizza, and saw the joy and the love at your table and paid your bill. And to think that our love and joy and being together was apparent to someone on the outside and move them to pay the $10 for our slices of pizza and cokes or whatever we were having. i It has motivated me to pay it forward whenever I see joy. Because we must have been laughing and you know, just so unaware of our surroundings, but just in the joy of being together with our 89 year old father, and somebody saw the joy and took the extra step to pay our bill. I hope that councils philanthropy was the littlest just
100% forward
and implanted in all of our hearts, my father, my sister and and me that when we see that kind of joy, now we have to pay it forward because somebody did that for us. And when my father's not here, we're going to laugh and cry about that pizza parlor afternoon for years to come. And it. It has stayed with all of us. And we the person was completely anonymous. Didn't leave a name. And it was our local pizza parlor. It could have been somebody we knew that we just didn't see because we were so enraptured with our own conversation, that it gave us all the impetus and the inspiration to pay that joy forward.
Amy, what a story.
In the pizza parlor.
That's what I love about it. I mean, I almost can visually see it the red and white check tables, the little candles. I mean the whole bit, and I
In a little strip mall in New Jersey.
This is what we love about philanthropy. They don't have to be grand gestures. They don't have to be million dollar gifts to change the world and and what a compliment to you and to your dad and your sister in the way that you intentionally love each other. It honestly reminds me and this is just I guess is my pro tip for the day. You know we have a incredible organization that we're connected to called Keaton's kindness club, and a K Club and it was started by a dear friend of ours. who lost her son to cancer. And he was young. And he started a club while sitting in the hospital room about how do we pay kindness forward. And so every time I see this mother, she gives me cards that says this random act of kindness was inspired by K club and I have them in my car. And whenever I and I haven't been my wallet in, and I've only I honestly, I'm confessing, I've only done it twice, because I don't remember. But when I have paid for the Starbucks in front of me, or when I got the bagels for the person behind me, I just left the card. That way, it wasn't about us because it was really about Keaton, trying to inspire kindness in the world. So if you are an organization that is about that, find a way to replicate it, this is not a monetization tool at all. This is a humanity tool.
And it's a paying forward when you plant those seeds, it just that person didn't know that it would ripple exponentially, that we would take that gesture. And who knows maybe in some world, it could turn into a gesture of a really large grant that you want to give to a museum to make a difference for hundreds of 1000s of people. But it's the idea of humans connecting with humans and paying it forward. That's, that's the key that we have to plant in people's hearts and minds. Don't make this one time gift, give people the tools to keep paying forward.
Kindness is the great disrupter. So during your fundraising book, or to write another one, okay, we gotta go to the one good thing, we end all of our conversations with a one good thing, it could be a mantra piece of advice, can't wait to hear what yours is, Amy?
Well, it's not going to be a great surprise, because it's something that I've already alluded to, and probably said explicitly, and I can't underscore it enough not only for fundraisers, but in the work that I do, the work that all of us do. As human beings, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We need to use them proportionally. If we listen more and talk less, it helps us engage with other people. Because when we listen to what's important to other people, we can respond to them more appropriately. And if we just hold our tongues and listen to what other people have to say, we will get the chance to speak. But the idea of listening, it's empowering. It shows empathy, it shows compassion. And the bottom line is it shows I care what you have to say. And I think of how our governments could be different, I think about how our whole world could be different. If everyone tacitly said, I care about what you have to say, and I'm gonna listen to you. So the two ears and one mouth, it's proportional, it's already given to you given given to you that way. Use them proportionally,
You're so on brand.
It's so great, that we just are so value aligned, which is why this conversation has been so fun. I think of our core value. Number one is everyone matters, which puts you in a position to sit at the foot of a stranger and hear someone's story because it matters and it matters for how we stepped through this life. So okay, Amy, we're adding all of your books to our cart and things like yeah, let's talk about how everyone can connect with you and just follow you in your worldwide travels and all of the amazing content that you're sharing. Where do you shop online? And how can people find you?
Thank you for giving me that opportunity. My website is artfulperception.com. And if anybody's interested in reading my books, they're at art for books.com. And I'm out there on social media at Amy HermanAOP, which stands for Art of Perception. And so that's where they can reach me on social media. And just as my own sort of piece of Saturday in the world before I get out of bed, I'm not huge fan of social media, I just post a work of art on Instagram every day. No Title, no dates, just for the pleasure of looking at my my followers out there, all they do is look, and it gives them a place to rest their eyes to look at one work of art every day. That's out there. So that's I hope people will reach out I love hearing from people. And I'm really so fortunate to be doing the work that I do and I thank you for bringing me on fair really been so much fun talking to you
So much fun. And I want to give one plug for something that's on your website that I failed miserably at, which is the visual test the visual intelligence quiz. I thought I was pretty perceptive, but clearly I'm not go to a me site. Take this visual intelligence quiz. It's going to ask you I'm like spoiling it but it's like what's the top color on the flag United States flag what arm is the Statue of Liberty's torchin And I did terribly. And so I really think this habit of looking for one thing, which I keep thinking, look around for one good thing a day and thing and just see how that may just up in and change your life and the best ways me Herman your treasure. I'm so glad to know you.
Thank you. It was really it was wonderful talking to you. I'm so glad our paths got across and thanks to Lynne Wester for bringing us all in the same room.
Amy thank you, my friend for leaving that law firm.
Believe me, it was my pleasure.
A gift to all of us.
Well, thanks for the work you're doing. You're really you're shining a light on the importance of not for profit and making sure that all these people know they matter.
You matter. And so do you. Thank you.
Hey, friends, thanks so much for being here. Did you know we create a landing page for each podcast episode with helpful links, freebies and even shareable graphics? Be sure to check it out at the link in this episode's description. You probably hear it in our voices but we love connecting you with the most innovative people to help you achieve more for your mission than ever before. We'd love for you to join our good community. It's free. And you can think of it as the after party to each podcast episode. You can sign up today at we are for good.com backslash Hello. One more thing If you loved what you heard today, would you mind leaving us a podcast rating and review? It means the world to us and your support helps more people find our community. Thanks friends. I'm our producer Julie Confer and our theme song is Sunray by Remy Borsboom.
