[202] Mindful Awareness and Compassion Meditation Practice with Dr. Joe Parent

10:14PM Apr 15, 2025

Speakers:

Joe Parent

Keywords:

Mindfulness

Awareness

Compassion

Meditation

Posture

Breathing

Tibetan Buddhism

Kagyu Lineage

Nyingma Lineage

Winnie the Pooh

Emotional Triggers

Positive Emotions

Negative Emotions

Interconnectedness

Lucid Dreaming.

Hi everybody. Okay, so let's assume that all aboard that's coming aboard, I'm going to switch the view to Speaker view, so if you want to put your video on, you probably still won't. You won't, you won't be captured. If you're worried about that. Okay, have a nice view here. That's a view of the San Luis Valley in Colorado, where I was doing a meditation retreat by the stupa, which is a reliquary of one of the of the 16th Karmapa, the head of the Kagyu lineage, previous head of the Kagyu lineage, who has been reborn and recognized as the 17th Karmapa, who, who is the one that is alive at this time. My background is studying mainly in the Tibetan tradition and primarily with Chugh Rinpoche and his Vajra region, ursultan, and then other Tibetan teachers like Trungpa Rinpoche and Khenpo sum Gyatso and Zhang sarkhency Rinpoche and Gilgal cancer Rinpoche when He was alive, and Ducha Rinpoche. So both the Kagyu and Nym lineages of Tibetan Buddhism, I'm going to type that in case you don't, you're not familiar, you can, you know, nowadays we don't have to explain everything. We just have jfgi, you know, just effing google it. There we go. Okay, those are the two main lineages that my work is connected with, and what I what I've done as far as integrating meditation practice with activities in everyday life, through working with my teachers, was able to bring meditation, mindfulness and awareness practice to the world of golf, the world of tennis. I have a book on using that for dieting and also for working with families, based on Winnie the Pooh, the Disney company invited my sister to ask me if we'd like to work on a book together, teaching mindfulness and awareness and other other values like courage and compassion for families, using Winnie the Pooh as characters. So you can see all my books on my author page on amazon.com, so I don't need to put all that in the chat. You don't have to order them from Amazon. There are other bookstores, but that's where you can see the collection of of the books I've done. So what we're going to do today is go through a sequence of practices of mindfulness, awareness and compassion practices, we start with getting settled and centered and work with our posture. Now we're doing sitting practice of mindfulness and awareness. There's walking meditations. There are meditations that people do lying down, but the lying down ones kind of invite us to go to sleep, and the walking, the walking ones are for when we're walking. So sitting is putting ourselves in neutral. And it's a very traditional practice where, you know, in in in traditional cultures where they didn't have chairs, when you sat, you were connected to the earth. So it's our expression of being connected to the earth. Now, if your knees or back prevent you from sitting cross legged on the floor, on a cushion, you can sit on a chair. That's fine, and we work with our visualization and bodily sensations to feel like we're connected with the earth. So we're going to start that practice, working with posture, working with the physical sensation of the breathing. And we start, we'll start with our eyes closed, so we can really feel those feelings internally. But then we move to our awareness, mindfulness, awareness in the environment. So we're going to do that with our eyes open. Now that means setting your seat up, or setting your device up, whatever you need to. So you're not looking directly into the screen whether and the start of our gaze is going to be slightly downward, and then we're going to open it up to looking straight ahead. So you'll probably want to be able to move it in one direction or another, like that. There we go. Now we have it from the side, and so that I can look past the screen and see the environment. The last section that we're going to do is working with compassion, practice, which is really more of a contemplation than a meditation. But to ground our contemplation, we will also work, work with our breathing. Want to see how things go with the environmental awareness practice because, and also the the internal sensation of mindfulness practice. Because right now, how do they say it? Now, more than ever, they there are things triggering our emotions, and so it seems very timely to work with work with emotions. So we'll try to do a little bit of that today, within the context of mindfulness and awareness, and also in the compassion practice, so that I don't have to explain it a little while we're doing it. When we do the compassion practice, we're basically connecting our experience of happiness and suffering. And when I say happiness, not just like, oh, giddy, that was fun, but a sense of gen of really deep well being in body and mind, peace, freedom from fear, feeling, feeling of joy, appreciation, all those positive feelings, feelings of love. And then the the when we talk about suffering, we're talking about suffering in mind and body, which includes physical illness and also mental stress, strain, anxiety, agitation and depression, all of the the painful experience, mental experiences and emotional experiences, and then for the physical fear and feel fear of danger, which is so present in in the world today. So the idea is we connect with our own experiences. Of those recognize that as human beings, all human beings experience these in their own way, but in in the same with the same theme, and therefore we have that connection with others. And say, You know what, as much as I want my suffering to be lessened, I want their suffering to be lessened, and as much as I want to feel well being, I want them to feel well being now, then we go deeper and say, but what really are the causes, particularly of the mental suffering and happiness, it's the negative emotions of pride, jealousy, hatred, intolerance, greed, lust for power and and all of These are based in ignorance of the relationship with ourselves and our world. They're based in insecurity. They're based in fear. They're they're based in feeling some kind of unfairness, poverty, mentality, many different qualities, but all of them are these poisonous emotions that poison our mind stream to make us want to do harmful things, sometimes to ourselves, but primarily to others. And then, what is it that lets us want to have our own well being and extend that well being to others. It's kindness, compassion, love, generosity, tolerance, acceptance and and insight and wisdom about how interconnected we all are. Thich Nhat Hanh used to call it inter being. I love that expression. So

when we work with the compassion practice we're working with, may all ourselves and all beings be free of these poisonous feelings and emotions, and may we be filled with these positive qualities of kindness. Compassion, love, generosity, acceptance, intolerance, and ultimately, wisdom. So that's what we'll we'll conclude with now, because we have that as our intention, it's always good to start practice within aspiration, and that aspiration has to do with we're not just doing this practice for ourselves. Yes, it's, it's it's helpful to feel calm. It's helpful to feel present. It's helpful to feel aware and have awareness of what's going on, and not miss signals and tune into what's needed in the environment from others and and in the general sense of experience. But the the key to that is that it we're doing it, not just for ourselves, but so that we can be of more benefit to others, that we can be helpful in the world. Now, someone at now, someone asked me, you know when they were it was just a beginning meditation class, and saying, you know, when will I? When will I see the results of this when, you know, when will I get some some benefit? When Will some benefit come out of this practice? And what I told them was, the benefit is immediate, because for the next 45 minutes while we're doing this practice, that's 45 minutes when you you're not out there causing trouble for yourself and trouble for getting in trouble yourself and causing trouble for others. So immediately, putting yourself out until you get a little clearer is the benefit. So we set up this aspiration, and that is that we're practicing today, not just for ourselves, so that we can feel less suffering, more happiness, but also so that we can be of more benefit to others, to help others and free them from the what they might not understand is the basis of what happens when it's based on ignorance is that we do things that we think are going to bring happiness but actually cause more suffering. So we want the aspiration that we can have presence of mindfulness and insight from awareness to see how we can be of more benefit to ourselves and cause less suffering by getting the wrong end of the stick for ourselves and others, benefit for ourselves and others. So that's the aspiration, that's the setup. And when we have that aspiration, it actually facilitates our not getting too wrapped up in the What about me part of practice. Am I doing this right? Is, you know, is this really working? Am I getting some benefit from this, but instead doing it with the long view, the big view, that this is for my growth, so that I can benefit others. And that's that's how we practice. So that's the beginning and the middle, and then the end is, having done the practice, we dedicate and create an aspiration, further aspiration. So we had our aspiration at the beginning. At the end, we dedicate whatever benefit came from this practice, may it benefit others, even more than myself, which is real generosity. And then I aspire to continue my mindfulness and awareness throughout the evening, throughout the day, throughout the day and night. So which is very pertinent for this, for the nightclub and working with dreams throughout the day and night, mindful, unaware and kind Okay, so let's get started. And as I said, for the beginning, you can close your eyes and get yourself situated, feel your sit bones on the cushion that you're on, whether it's on a chair or on the floor, and even things out, tune into your torso and feel like you're sitting up straight without straining. Now, if you can do this without leaning back against a chair or against the wall, that's good, but if you have to just scoot your butt back as close as you can to the to what you're leaning against, so that you're as upright as possible. Now having that feeling of uprightness first is your weight on one side or the other, even it out. On your sit bones, and then do a little tilting side to side and forward to back till you find that centered place your torso is sent. You're not leaning forward or back, you're not leaning left or right. Okay, so that's our, that's our that's the base that we're connecting with the earth through our sit bones. Now our legs. If you're sitting on a cushion on the floor, you're probably already cross legged on a chair. Put your feet about hip width apart, and feet and knees about hip width apart, so that your shin bones are vertical, perpendicular to the ground, so your feet aren't sticking out or pulled in. And check to see Are your knees higher or lower than your hips? If your knees are higher than your hips, let let your knees widen out. And if you need to slide your feet across from each other and cross them at the ankles right there, because that puts less strain on your lower back to keep your upright posture. Otherwise, you strain your upper your upper thighs and your lower back to try to have that upright posture. But if your knees are lower than your hips, not so hard. Okay. As for your arms, lay your upper arms. Lay your arms first. Hang straight down from your shoulders, leave the upper arms vertical, perpendicular to the ground, and bend to the elbows and just move your hands palm down on each thigh, so that your forearms run along your thighs, and your hands are palm down. They'll be a little bit behind your knees. It's where you're not pulling back or reaching forward. Now the other thing I'd like you to experiment with your posture, just very gently and just a tiny little bit, raise your breast bone slightly up and forward, just a tiny bit. What you'll notice is it opens up your chest. You'll notice your breathing becomes easier. It pulls your shoulders back more in line with your ears. You may even feel a tiny pinch to your shoulder blades. Now you have open front, firm, back, upright, back,

and you'll find that the breathing is easier and you it's easier to stay upright if you keep aware check in every now and again on your breastbone. Sometimes, if we start getting off in a daydream and getting absorbed and thinking, our posture slumps a bit. So if you when you realize that, which is part of our technique, when you realize it, get upright and check in with your breast. Bone up and open just a little bit. Don't strain. Okay. Now then we have our neck and head. Too often we have our neck, our chin, sticking out in front of us because we're in a hurry to get where we're going. Instead, if you feel like your neck is a straight up, straight extension up the back of your neck and the back of your head is a straight extension of your spine, your chin will come in naturally. You won't be tilted back and and because when the chin goes up and your head tilts back, we get spaced out. You won't be tilted down, because then we get sleepy. So when the back of the head is vertical and then your neck is vertical, you know, in line with your spine. The chin comes in naturally. And that's the ideal posture. And it's ideal that way for the breath to come in your nostrils, up and then down and into your lungs, through your throat and into your lungs, and it's not blocked in any way by the head being tilted. Now I mentioned breathing in through the nostrils. We're going to mainly breathe through our nostrils, ideally, unless you're really stuffed up, just breathe in through your nostrils. If some air comes out through your mouth on the exhalation, that's okay, but definitely breathe in through your nostrils, if possible, and then out through your nostrils, and as I said, a little through your mouth is okay. Now, what do we do with our mouth and our lips? A. Okay, you want your jaw relaxed, but not hanging slack open so your lips, whichever is more comfortable, very lightly touching, very slightly parted.

And as for your tongue, it can rest naturally, or if you're if you're comfortable, one of the traditional postures for your tongue is to let it float up so that the tip rest gently against the upper palate, just behind your front teeth. And it said that that reduces the flow of saliva somewhat. It's a called a lock in the yogic tradition. But even if, even if it doesn't, if you have some saliva and it's building up, go ahead and swallow in the tradition that I was trained, it's not a rigid hold your posture or else. So if you feel a sharp pain, move. If you feel a an itch that just keeps going and distracts you, so that you're really not with your body and your breathing and whatever, whatever we choose as our object of attention, go ahead and scratch, but don't do it reactively. Make a choice. Just say, Okay, I'm going to move. Then slowly move. Scratch your itch, return your posture, and then return to the technique. So that's what, what to do if you feel a need to move. Okay, so we're set in our posture. Now, the inhalation is energizing, the exhalation is settling or relaxing. So I want you to tune in to each out breath with each out breath, just kind of sweep any unnecessary tension down and out of your body. You can either use a sweeping image or a melting image, but start with your scalp and your forehead and face breathe in, and then as you breathe out, let any tension you become aware of your scalp, your face, your cheeks, your jaw, flow down and out. Melt and flow down and out of you. Breathe out and your neck and shoulders let the tension flow down and out of you, chest and upper back, other than what you need to keep your breast bone slightly raised, breathe out, let it flow down and out of you. Upper arms and rib cage, breathe out. Let the tension melt. Solar Plexus, stomach, lower back and deep belly. Breathe out, let it melt.

Hips, pelvic region, again, the deep belly, those are all connected. Sometimes we're clenching and we don't realize it, breathe out. Let the tension melt forearms, thighs and hands. Breathe out and soften knees, calves, ankles and feet. Breathe out and soften with the next few out breaths. Really feel your weight sink into the cushion that you're on. Breathe out, sink down and breathe out and sink down.

Breathe out and sink down and feel like you're merging with the earth that's as grounded as you could possibly be. Breathe it out. Feel settled and grounded. Now, let your awareness rest in the deep core of your torso. Be aware of the three dimensional quality of your torso. There's there's a distance front to back, as well as side to side. You can feel as you breathe in that that expands gets wider, side to side, deeper. Front to back. As you breathe out, it contracts,

although your the air is not going all the way down there. It feels like as you breathe in, you're filling down into your deep belly. As you breathe out, it's empty.

Often people, you tell them to take a deep breath, and they raise their shoulders, but that's a high breath, leaving your shoulders where they are and feeling like the breath is going down your back and deep into your belly, that's a deep breath.

Now let yourself just be an observer, noticing how your body breathes. I promise your body will breathe by itself without you controlling it, sometimes deeper, sometimes shallower, sometimes longer or shorter. Just relax into the rhythm of your body breathing in the deep core of your torso. If

it's helpful, you can use the image of a quiet day at the shore, with the surf gently running up the sand and then back down into the water, running up as you breathe in, back down and out as you breathe out, gathering as you breathe in, and letting go as you breathe out. And we'll do that for A couple of Minutes And

You may have noticed, as you got settled and Quiet, your breathing became very subtle. Just notice as an observer, deeper, shallow, subtle or big breaths, no right or wrong,

if your mind drifted off into a daydream, when you wake up from that daydream, when it pops your back already, just smile, draw wandering mind, check your posture and return your awareness to your deep core, you

and to begin mindfulness of body and environment, don't change anything except letting your eyelids just open about halfway and uh, let your gaze be fuzzy, just soft. Don't try to focus on anything particular. Just let them rest in the direction that they are and feel like you're seeing you're not looking. For anything you're just seeing the space that your body is sitting in as it breathes itself continue, the awareness of that feeling of filling and emptying, the breath coming in and going out on its own. We'll do that for A couple more Minutes And

as the Go Gong fades if you need to refresh your posture a little bit,

and move your device if you need to look out. After you've retaken your posture, soften your gaze, open up to your full field division, and you'll notice that the direction of your gaze is slightly below horizontal. That's the natural gaze. Again, without looking at anything in particular, let your eyes rest in that direction and open up so that you're it's like seeing a landscape rather than a specific thing. Notice the colors, shapes and shades of light and dark, and with each out breath, breathe out and open up into a feeling of spaciousness, of not needing what's out there to be a particular way and just noticing it as it is, you

start with vision. Just see the colors, shapes and shades of light and dark,

breathe out and open up to your full field of vision. You

Keep your eyes open, but open up to your full field of hearing sounds near and far you

notice if there are any smells In the room

or outside, if you're sitting outside, you

swallow some saliva and Notice if there's any particular taste in your mouth. I

move your awareness to your body. Notice any particular bodily sensations, your feet, your hands, your skin, your muscles.

And now watch or listen for thoughts that arise in your mind.

Are they loud or soft? Are they vivid or fuzzy?

Are they coming one at a time or in sequence? I

are your thoughts related to the other perceptions? What you're seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting or feeling.

As the gong fades, we move into our contemplation.

You can either have your eyes open or closed, and

would rouse certain feelings. What does it feel like to be afraid? I

What does it feel like to be embarrassed?

What does it feel like to be angry? I

What does it feel like to feel needy?

What does it feel like to feel possessive? I

What does it feel like to feel disargus I.

What does it feel like to feel envy?

What does it feel like to feel confused? I

uncertain,

lost and

what does it feel like now to feel love without requiring anything in return? Generosity, wanting others to have something that would make them happy.

What does it feel like when you do something kind?

What do empathy and sympathy feel like? I

What does it feel like to be at peace, peace of mind. What does it feel like to feel healthy?

What does it feel like to feel safe and secure? What

I went through all of those rather quickly, but it's to give a feeling of continuity of well being, as opposed to suffering in body and mind. So knowing that all beings feel the way you do about all those things, to a greater or lesser extent, generate the wish that they all be free of suffering and negative emotions that cause that suffering i

Whatever you feel stronger or not so strong doesn't matter. Just try to feel it from your heart, the wish that you yourself and all others could be free of suffering, and the causes of that suffering,

and generate the wish from Your heart that you could feel you and all others could feel well being. And the causes of well being

the way you would feel it, they will feel it to some extent the same way I

the last part of the contemplation is we're going to do a few breaths and imagine that as you breathe in, You can't you're drawing out from yourself and others, all the suffering out of your being dissolving into space. And as you breathe out, so it's like extracting poison from a wound, and then as you breathe out, yourself. Sending out from your heart limitless kindness and compassion, filling yourself and others with well being in body and mind, drawing out suffering and dissolving it, replacing it with well being. We'll do that for a few breaths. You

return to your deep core, rest in the present moment and look, feeling your breath.

We'll do the concluding dedications and aspirations, and as it's been discovered through hum 1000s of years in the tradition, when we are less concerned with ourselves, we can be there more genuinely and responsibly for others. So you can repeat after me or put in your own words, may the practice I've just done be of even more benefit to others than to myself,

and you can set an aspiration again in your own words, or may my thoughts and speech and actions the expressions of mindfulness and kindness throughout the day and night,

and thank you for your practice today, your kind attention. So now we we've gotten to the top of the hour. If you need to go, thank you. If you can stay, then what I will do is, I think anybody can unmute themselves and just share whatever comment question about the practice, anything you'd like to share. And those who can't do that can put something In the chat, and I'll read it for everyone. I

This is the best. Meditation, just waiting to see what's next with nothing particular in mind. Tim is the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, the only one deals with Lucid Dreaming and sleep. The bun tradition. Some the Tibetan alphabet, the B and the P, the letter sounds halfway between A, B and A, P, so sometimes it's written pun, sometimes bun, but it's fun, B, O, umm, O, with an um, lat, n tradition that was the indigenous religion of Tibet. Before Buddhism arrived. They also work with Dream Yoga and Lucid Dreaming, and I'm not sure if there are any others, if anybody else knows. No. Thank you, Monica, that's good to know. I haven't done that one before that way. But I wanted, I wanted that to do she, what she wrote was a powerful feeling each negative emotion, one after the other than the positive emotions, because they're all kind of connected. You know, the negative ones all connected by ignorance, and the positive ones all connected by wisdom. Okay? Yeah, Sufism may have something to do with Patrick wrote about Muslim traditions, and it's possible Sufi the Sufis, all you know, mystical traditions, any mystical tradition would recognize that how we experience life is like a dream. So I mean, what isn't there a song? Life is like a dream, sweetheart. It's a lyric from a song. So I don't think it's unusual that they would work with sleep and dream that way. Okay. Thank you all so much. Have a good evening or Morning. Wherever you are, you