Meaning to Share Podcast: Ep 001 - Audrey Bigham

    4:49PM Jun 16, 2021

    Speakers:

    Meredith McCreight

    Audrey Bigham

    Keywords:

    people

    funny

    comedy

    laugh

    audrey

    friends

    stand

    loud

    brewery

    parents

    jokes

    class

    bit

    lived

    sister

    grew

    gift

    mom

    feel

    big

    It's a lot to live up to when somebody is like, Oh, this is my friend Audrey, she's super funny. You're gonna love her. And then what if I'm in a bad mood? Or what if I'm off my game? Or what if I just have more of an introspective mood kind of day, right? So it's like a lot to try to be funny. Like, even in this recording, like, I'm like, oh god, am I being funny or like, do I just think I'm funny? Like, even that, you know? Because once you hear that people are funny, you're listening to laugh, right? You're listening to be entertained.

    This is Meaning to Share, the podcast where we explore the amazing gifts of seemingly average individuals, proving that everyone has a meaningful skill, talent or strength that is unique only to them, and which they are destined to share with others during this lifetime. I'm your host, Meredith McCreight. I spent decades painfully trying to fold myself into the boxes that other people, the media and society created for me, until I realized there was only one authentic version of me. And that is more than enough. In fact, it's divine. I want to show my guests and you, the listeners, that each of us is meant for greatness. It's already in you, you just have to choose to see it and embody it. Now my guest doesn't know ahead of time which gift if there is we'll be discussing. So please enjoy this unscripted, honest, delicious conversation with one of my favorite people. This is Meaning to Share.

    Today I'm talking with my dear friend, Audrey Bigham. We met when I lived up in Boston. I had started working at a company where they had these big orientations for all of the new employees, like once a quarter, and she was like the organizer and facilitator during that week long event. I remember her taking us all bowling one night and buying beers for the whole crew and just being so welcoming. We didn't really become close until quite a few months later. And honestly, I can't even recall how it happened. Exactly. I just know that at one point, we realized we lived really close to each other. And we just started spending a lot of time together outside of work along with another friend I met during the same orientation, who will be joining me for an interview in just a couple of weeks. And we mentioned her today—her name is Alex. Anyway, Audrey is such a wonderful person and just a joy to be around. It's been such an honor being in her circle of friends and meeting so many other amazing women in her life, including her sister Cecily, whom we talked about a few times throughout this episode. While we were working together at that office job, Audrey also had a second job on Saturdays where she gave tours at the Sam Adams brewery. And it was straight up comedy the whole time. I remember thinking she should totally be a stand up comedian. And she actually took a stand up class and we got to see her perform one time. And it was awesome. She looked so at home on that stage. And just so comfortable up there. And she just she was so funny. So today we're talking about Audrey's gift of comedy. We'll talk about where it started, how it developed over the years and how she's using it in her life and work today. We also talk about our fears and insecurities and places in life where we still shy away from our passions. I loved this conversation and I hope you do too. Please join me in welcoming one of my favorite comedians and a true gem of a friend, Audrey Bigham.

    Welcome, Audrey. Thank you for being my very first guest on meaning to share.

    I'm honored.

    Yay. Can you tell us a little bit about you? Where are you from? What's your cultural background and upbringing?

    Sure. I grew up about an hour north of Boston. Along the New Hampshire border. My parents are both from Massachusetts, north of the city as well. And I've lived in this area pretty much my whole life. I went to school in Boston, lived outside the city for a couple of years. And now I'm 10 minutes away from my parents house in my own apartment, and my cultural upbringing. It was pretty, I guess, middle class. Both my parents worked. It was me and my sister for the first 10 years of my life. And then my parents had my brother Bobby. So my sister and I are pretty close in age. I'm the oldest of three. We lived in a condo growing up until I was about 12. And then we moved to a single family home to a better school district after my brother was born. So that's a little bit about me. Is that how you're looking for?

    Yeah, I was curious. So I know... I've been to your parents house. So I just had this picture in my head that that's where you grew up your whole childhood. But that's interesting. You lived in a condo before that. So yeah, so where Audrey's parents live, now they have chickens and a horse, right? They have a horse too?

    The neighbors have a horse. The backyards are open to each other. So we can go say hi to Denny and carrots and yeah, definitely smells like a horse in the backyard.

    Yeah. And so you kind of got that, that whole, like New England blend of, you're kind of close to a big city, but you're also kind of on farmland area and you're close to the beach. So it's like a nice mix of stuff to do while you are growing up.

    Totally. And although I'm biased, I wouldn't have it any other way, honestly, because when we were growing up, we would take field trips to the city, you know, we'd go to the bunk for no money and or we do the reading trail or we'd visit the USS Constitution. So I always knew that I wanted to go to school in Boston, knowing that it was, you know, only a 45 minute train ride away but still felt like a totally different environment and going from, you know, the burbs into the big city. Yeah, not the big big city, not New York. But yeah.

    It still feels like a big city. I mean, there are lots of sports teams, I feel like that's what makes you... that's what puts you on the map.

    I, so my freshman year, my dorm I moved in early because it just worked better for my schedule. And I didn't want to deal with like the craziness of a move-in day with a ton of other students, so you can actually make the request to move in early and they approved it. So my parents moved me in by myself, like no other people in the dorm and the view out of my freshman dorm window, I could see the lights of Fenway Park. So, that was so memorable. And such a special moment for my parents. Because we grew up watching the Red Sox games together on TV. I went to my first game when I was like 14 or 15. That's a whole nother story for another time. But we would be able to watch the games in our dorm and hear the sounds of the crowd before there was the play on TV. So it was just magical for this kid who grew up watching the Sox on TV with her parents now just a five minute / 10 minute walk from the park.

    That's so awesome. I love that. And I that's something I didn't know about you.

    Now you know! "The more you know."

    Before we do the big reveal of the gift of yours that we're going to talk about today. I just have one question for you. And we're gonna do this, like, rapid response style. So I'm not going to clarify what the question means. So just don't think about it. Just say the first thing that comes to mind. What is something that you've been meaning to share?

    Something that I've been meaning to share? You said rapid response? I don't know. I'm afraid of being alone. Like I think people don't know that about me. So I don't know how your short you and your you want the answers to be. But yeah.

    being on

    That's perfect and really brave to share, and great little icebreaker because we're going to have a conversation that I hope you will be just as honest and vulnerable in right now. Because... Well, first of all, I want to ask you, do you have any guesses as to which gift of yours—which talent or skill or strength—I want to talk about today?

    I couldn't even guess. I was thinking about it and nothing was coming to me.

    I'm a little surprised by that. But you have many, many, many gifts and strengths. You're truly a wonderful human. You're a talented singer, you're incredibly warm and inviting. You just make everyone feel like they've known you forever, right when they meet you. And you're smart, and you're generous and thoughtful. I mean, you're just so many things. But the one thing I want to talk about today...

    Oh my gosh.

    ... is you have this amazing gift of comedy. And it's not just that you tell funny jokes. You just have such a great delivery and you're so captivating. And you have like, the physical comedy down, which I think is so rare for people to come by when you don't have like formal training with improv or acting. And so how do you feel about talking about this gift of yours today?

    I would be honored! Thank you, Meredith. You just said so many nice things about me. My head is spinning. Um, yeah, I would love to talk about comedy, like lay on me.

    Yay! So yeah, so I guess what I wanted to ask first is, how did you first know you had a gift for making people laugh? Like, what's your earliest memory of like, making a crowd of people laugh, or even one person?

    That's a good question. Sure. I've never really reflected on this. Like, where did it stem from or how did I know that I had a knack for it. But my sister and I used to do talent shows in church—at church I guess I should say. And there's a story that my parents used to tell that we were in our Power Rangers leotards, I think I was in a pink one. Ceciliy was in a yellow one. And our talent was to just dance, we wanted to dance to a song, but apparently the dancing went on for far too long, and people would applaud and hope that the end was coming. And then we just keep going at it. So I definitely have a draw to the limelight. And my aunt Linda, who just recently passed away, actually, my mom's aunt, she used to tell the story every time I saw her over the years that my grandma used to rent a house up on York Beach, Maine, for a month or so. And she would invite each of her kids with their kids to come to the house. And Cecily and I, my sister, would usually stay the whole month, which was probably a break or a blessing for my parents. But she said Cecily and I like danced in our underwear, on the table, and to bring up that story every time I saw her and I was like, can you stop, this is mortifying. But, you know, as little kids like we liked being goofy. We had this goofiness about us and my dad would tell fart jokes, you know, at the chagrin of my mom. So it's like we had this good sense of like, what makes people laugh and what's comical. So yeah.

    That's so funny. It's so funny about the Power Rangers costumes.

    I'll have to send you a picture.

    Oh, my god, please do.

    I don't know if you can incorporate it in the podcast.

    Yeah, I'll put it on the show notes page. Okay, so I don't really know your brother that well, because like you said, he's quite a bit younger. But I've met your sister and your parents. And they're all pretty funny. So like you said I would imagine that your household saw quite a bit of laughter. Was it just always a ruckus at your house?

    It was always a rough ruckus, we were a loud family. But it was kind of both swings of the pendulum, there was either a lot of laughter, a lot of like yelling and strife and arguing. So I don't know if that's typical in families that also have a good family sense of humor. But we were very loud. That's what I remember. So when people were angry, they were loud when people were telling jokes they were loud, when we were laughing we were always too loud. Like, I remember growing up and driving back from restaurants, maybe family dinners, and like an Outback Steakhouse, or something. And my sister and I would get the giggles in the back of the car, and they will be overwhelming. And my dad would be like, "SHUT UP, I'M DRIVING!" And my mom's like, "Kids, stop! You're bothering your dad!" You know, like, those kind of moments. So it certainly wasn't all laughs growing up. But we made the most of it, I think because it was a way maybe to deal with the struggles of, you know, hearing your parents argue or, you know, getting a bad grade and obviously getting yelled at for that or just general misbehavior of three children.

    Man,

    Yeah, normal stuff.

    Normal stuff.

    That's interesting that you said the word "loud" a lot. Is that like, some feedback that you've received from other people outside your family that you've taken to heart? How's that affected you?

    Yes. Yes. So when I was in college, one of my co ops was at the Sam Adams Boston brewery, and my boss, Nicole, at the time, I would take calls like, I would get consumer calls, or like tour request calls, or, you know, just miscellaneous requests as a co op would get. And she's like, you know, you're very articulate, but very loud. She's like, you don't have to speak that loudly on the phone, especially when the offices were so tight. And I was like, aw man, I am loud. But like, it worked in my favor. In high school, I did theater. So like, my voice is really loud, it would carry into the auditorium or singing the National Anthem, like even though it was into a microphone like you want a project. So I got used to doing that. I'm probably too loud in my apartment right now. Like, my neighbors can probably hear every word I'm saying. So definitely have gotten that feedback. But it hasn't really like made me less quiet. I guess I've just learned to listen more instead of gabbing as much. But when I get really excited, I get louder, or when I drink I get louder. You know, I mean, so it comes out and sometimes it can't be contained. So.

    Yeah, that's funny because I never think Audrey and then think oh, she's loud. But then there's like, and I do think you're a very good listener too. So I don't think you like take up space with you're talking or making jokes or whatever trying to command attention like I never got that impression. But I do remember multiple times hanging out at my house and whenever music is on, it's like, you know every word to every song and you'll sing it at the top of your lungs and my dog would just bark at you.

    Poor Miles.

    So that's funny.

    The times where I'm like the happiest and I try to be respectful of my neighbors too. So I don't sing around my apartment as much as I would like to because I'm trying to be a good neighbor because I'm upstairs and noise travels down. But the times where I've found kind of the most joy is when I'm in the car by myself, like literally singing at the top of my lungs. Like, the music is so loud, I can barely hear myself, but I'm still singing as if I'm in front of a whole auditorium, you know. I love it.

    Yeah, so I want to go back to your family for a second, or not even just your family, but anyone you grew up with, so it could be circle of friends, because it sounds like you had a lot of the same friends from childhood up through college. Do you have any memory of anyone, of you yourself or anyone in your family, using humor in an unhealthy way, like to avoid confrontation or minimize your own pain and suffering in a situation?

    You know, it's probably most evident in myself, you know what I mean? Like using humor to make myself laugh and make others laugh, to deal with, you know, whatever I'm struggling with. I think that's maybe how I've developed such a funny personality or demeanor is because that's what helps me cope, like with my own challenges. So if I'm ever around friends, and they're upset, or something's bothering them, or they're angry, like, I tend to try to crack jokes in that sense, and it's well received by some people. And then others are like, I don't need the jokes right now. Like, that's not helping. But I try to be like, if I can put a smile on their face and that down moment, that's helpful, because that's, I guess what I would want too. As it relates to like, unhealthy behaviors, like I think the my mom's pretty snarky, like she'll say things that could be seen as funny. But if they're directed a certain way, like, that would probably be a dig, you know what I mean?

    Do you have an example you could share in your mom's accent?

    Yeah, I'm probably gonna butcher it though, cuz I don't have it myself. But my parents got cats a few years ago, when I was living at home, and they were adult cats, my mom went and picked them up from a shelter with her aunt, or sorry, her sister, my aunt. And she brought them home. And I was going to work at the time. And I had like a little bit of weed in my makeup bag. And I thought I'd put my makeup bag away because I usually do my makeup in my bathroom, put my makeup bag away. I wasn't even smoking at the time. It was so dry. It was probably disgusting. Like, I should have just thrown it away. But I was like, well, you never know, need a little bit of pot, like, this might come in handy someday. Gotta look cool in front of somebody.

    So anyway, I get a voicemail in the middle of the day from my dad, who is like, you got to find a better place to hide your weed. Like, you know, the cats got into ya weed, they pulled it outta ya bag, you got to find a better place to hide ya pot. He's like, call me back. So I call them and I'm fuming. I'm so angry at the cats, right? And I get home. And one of the first things my mom says to me is, you have a little extra income for pot? Like, basically insinuating, like you're not paying your bills, but you can afford some weed? Like, Oh, I see you have enough money for it. And I'm like, uggghhhh, I'm like, fucking cats. I was so mad at them.

    They outed you.

    They outed me. They outed me. But that's like one little example. Like she was crafting that all day. You know, like, like it or not, like I learned to be very sharp with my words when I'm angry. So I try not to lash out because I can have a really sharp tongue. And I think I got that from her. So whereas my dad's not very confrontational and doesn't like arguing, you know, when you poke when you kind of corner him, he'll get angry and he'll yell but that has gone away over the years. So.

    Yeah, I feel like you definitely have a balance of that because I don't feel like you let people walk all over you but I don't feel like you like throw seething, biting remarks at people either, even though you probably could.

    I used to, like in college and even after college when I was really struggling with like, my finances and my living situation and just the general feeling like I was falling behind my friends and being on this certain track, you know, after after school. I was really mean to a lot of my friends. And I'm sure it wasn't pleasant for them. And you know whether it was over text or over the phone like I just said some things that some people should like never say and I was just so not proud of myself and there's no excuse even though I was at a low place then and I think they knew that so they gave me space but I had a lot of atoning to do after that, in my mid to late 20s.

    At least you did it! I feel like a lot of people probably have some of that stuff they still won't own up to later in life. So it's brave to look at yourself and see where you can improve things. So I'm sure your friends appreciate that.

    Yeah. I hope so.

    Yeah. So who are some of the people, and they can be famous people or they can be just people in your life, who are some of the people that you admire and respect and look up to the most?

    You. Which I hope is not surprising, because I truly admire you. And I think you're wonderful. And I'm not saying that because this is your podcast, but you exude such confidence and such good boundary setting from what I can see. Right? And you are creative and you're independent. And you're, you're doing this, right, like we talked about maybe doing a podcast a couple years ago, and it never got off the ground. So to see you doing this is just amazing. And I knew you would. I respect, I have so much admiration for my sister. She's a year younger than me. She is married with a son, her wife's name is Morgana. And their kid's name is Arlo. And they live outside of Kansas City. And she is just so mature and so logical and such a peacemaker and, you know, really knows how to, doesn't really have a temper, but definitely knows how to control her emotions. So I envy that because I'm trying to get better at that. But it's hard for me.

    I'm a Scorpio, so blaming it on my sign, but that I'm sure has something to do with it. So I definitely admire her. And just my peer group, like nobody in particular, but I have so much respect and admiration for my friends and seeing how everybody's lives have taken shape, whether it's finding a partner, or adopting a dog, or buying a house or moving cross country for a new career change, or a new change of scenery, like everybody has been so brave. And sometimes I feel like I'm not that brave. So it's good to reflect upon, like how people have shaped and created their lives, like as they are right now. Nobody in particular, though, you know, other than you, my sister. Alex, I love Alex, like, she's so positive and so radiant, but I could go on, you know, so I don't want to like go through each and every person, you know, trying to give you a few examples.

    Well, thank you. And I will just say, to kind of circle back to the top of the call when you know, you shared something vulnerable about yourself. Like all those things that you just said about me, I do not see myself that way at all, which is something that I'm working on. But you know, that's part of what this podcast is about. It's like you, you teach what you need to hear. So, you know, I want to, I want to talk about what's wonderful about all of my friends and give them confidence and assure them of that, because it's also something that I need to repeatedly, you know, work on myself is like embracing the shadow aspects of myself and kind of integrating those into my whole self. So thank you for that. And yeah...

    I hope it helps.

    Thank you. Um, yeah, so I mean, I know your sister, and I know a lot of your friends. So I was gonna ask, you know, how has, has there been sort of a common thread of comedy throughout those relationships? And I think the answer is yes. Because I know all of them. So how has comedy played a role in those relationships with these people that you respect so much?

    Yeah, I think of like, nights in high school and nights in college, that most of those memories were happy occasions or at least humorous occasions, right? Where we were all looking for opportunities to come together and laugh together. So whether it was like smoking weed in high school or getting drunk, like, I'm, I'm not sure that I was chosen to be like, people picked me and be friends because I made them laugh. Like, I don't know how that comes to be. But I tended to be like, that's the funny one in the room. And, you know, I've gotten a little bit more self aware of that as of late, like, in my early 30s, because I'm not a thin person, right? So it's like, oh, does the physical comedy of like me not being like thin or trim or athletic, like tie to this ability for me to have a laugh at something that might be a little bit self deprecating or be a big personality in the room? I don't know how that all folds into one another. But, you know, most of my friends are active, they live a very healthy lifestyle. And I would say that I'm not there yet. So I don't know if I'm like the overweight, funny friend or if people enjoy my company and don't see me as that, you know.

    Thanks. Thanks. And I think maybe that's why I'm trying to listen more because I don't want to lead with like a lot of funniness and for it to be seen as, like a crutch or a distraction. So I'm just trying to be a little bit more self aware, which I've said a couple of times, and try to like, you know, how does the way that I express myself in the world, like dictate how people are going to treat me right, so. I don't know if that answers your question, though.

    Yeah, it does.

    Okay.

    Okay, so you took a stand up class a couple years ago. So, you actually officially did stand up for a hot minute, you took this class. And then at the end, there was a performance. And you were like, easily the most confident and natural one on stage. Even though there were like some amusing jokes that people had. And really great joke writing that was happening. I feel like you were the one that was the most comfortable up there on the stage. And yeah, so just curious, what prompted you to sign up for that class?

    Yeah, it's not a happy story. I was fired from a job. And it was a job that was not a good fit for me. And I was not a good fit for it. So rather than jumping right into the job search again, I wanted to do something for me. The day after I was fired, I got a haircut, I got a facial. And I reached out to this woman I knew who used to work for Boston Beer, knowing that she had taken a stand up class, I think at improv Boston in Cambridge, and I said, you know, How was your experience? Who was your teacher? And she recommended this teacher, Dana J. Bein, and I ended up taking his class. It was something to do for me, because I didn't want to rush into a corporate job again, I was like, this sucks, like, I am having a really bad time at this thing called life, ya know what I mean, and I need to do something to foster this passion, or as you call it, like a gift or a talent inside of me, because I was feeling a little bit misguided. So I was like, Okay, let me just try to do this. And just put my money where my mouth is, like, everybody keeps saying that I'm pretty funny. And that I should do stand up, especially after doing tours at the brewery everybody was like you've got to do stand up, or you must do stand up, or are you a teacher, because you're such a front of the room personality. So I was like, fuck it, let's do it. I think it was like an eight week program. We went once a week on Tuesdays, it was like maybe an hour and a half or two hours. It was great. It was a class of like 10 or 12 students and the teacher in the small studio in Cambridge, we got to learn some fundamentals. I think every stand up teacher has their shtick, or their principles that they want to help you work on. So not every teacher teaches the same curriculum, so to speak. So I definitely got like Dana's vision of what stand up is, and he set some really good principles and boundaries of the class, and they learn to respect them. And there were times where we were writing jokes. And I thought they were funny, and they weren't. And that is good to know. So.

    Interesting. Do you remember a specific example?

    I don't. I wish I still had my notebook that I like, wrote everything down in. It's got to be around here somewhere. But you know, when you tell a joke, and people laugh, and then the goal of the class is to work on that, that five minute set, like class over class over class, I was starting to get tired of the joke. Because I'm like, these people have heard them before they only work on the first try. And I even shared that feedback in class. And Dana was like, you cannot be tired of them yet. You just started working on them. Like some jokes that stand up comedians use, like take months or years to perfect, you know, and it's just, you try it in front of an audience, you try different delivery, you try different word choice, you try some physical comedy with it. So that was frustrating. But you were at the show, like it seemed to go well, I kind of got my confidence back. What I also want to say is that I don't watch stand up comedy regularly. Like I watch movies that are funny. I watch movies that have funny people in them. But I'm not like a stand up comedy geek. So it's like I wanted to do this having no really, no real passion about it already other than like, oh people have told me I'm funny, and I should do stand up like, let me go give it a shot. This seems like a good time. So. And I talked about the chicken.

    Yeah, the chickens. That was a good joke. You also talked about how people told you you were funny when you were at Sam Adams. And, you know, for the listeners, Audrey was a tour guide in the brewery. And she was hilarious. It was literally like going on a little stand up comedy tour through the rooms of a brewery. And it was great. And I went, I probably took your tour at least six or seven times. And there were a lot of the same jokes. And they were funny every time. So and you also kind of had you know, you've, you've kind of read the room and do things a little bit differently. She'd pick somebody with the hat of a sports team that she didn't like, and she pick on that person. Like it was hilarious. So I can see why people will tell you that. But it's also interesting that you keep saying people kept telling me I was funny, and I should do this. Was there any part of you that was like, I know I'm funny and I should do this.

    Isn't there some cardinal rule that if you say I'm funny that people automatically assume that you're not funny? So it's like, I've tried to tread around that lightly because I make myself laugh every day. Like I'm laughing at myself constantly. And I know that I can make people laugh from time to time, like intentionally or not, but I try not to come in and say like, yeah, I'm a funny person. You know? Because it's like, Oh, god, they think they're funny. Like, here we go. She's gonna try to crack some jokes. They're not gonna land. You know?

    I think you're funny. But I was trying to get to see if you actually believe you're funny. So it sounds like you do. You just don't want to say it out loud to other people.

    It's a lot to live up to when somebody is like, Oh, this is my friend, Audrey. She's super funny. You're gonna love her. And then what if I'm in a bad mood? Or what if I'm off my game? Or what if I just am more of an introspective mood kind of day, right? So it's like a lot to try to be funny, like, even in this recording. Like, I'm like, Oh, god, am I being funny? Or like, do I just think I'm funny, like, even that, you know? Because once you hear that people are funny, you're listening to laugh, right? You're listening to be entertained. When people came to the brewery, they were listening to be informed. And they were pleasantly surprised with some laughter. Like, it's not billed as a comedy tour of a brewery. It's billed as a brewery tour. It's informational. And you get some samples. But people all of a sudden were laughing, and they're like, this is a good time. But if they had come knowing that they were going to have a bunch of jokes shot their way, then it wouldn't have worked.

    Ooh, that is interesting. So I feel like, when there's no expectation or pressure, you feel very free to like be up on the stage. But when there is pressure, it becomes something that's not fun anymore, or is it still fun, you're just not sure how it's landing?

    I'm getting in my head too much. You know, I'm like, oh, there's a story that I think is funny. And they're hoping to leave with a laugh. And I don't, I don't tell it with as much oomph because I'm like, no, it's not important, like you had to be there. You know, just uber uber self consciousness. Yeah.

    Hmm. I mean, I don't get that from you at all. Really, even when you were on stage, doing your stand up to a room of mostly strangers, except you're very loud friends that took up like the first two rows, though... I was one of them. Um, so have you ever considered integrating comedy into your career or like, it doesn't sound like you ever considered being a comedian. But I know at one point we talked about, like, you'd be so great at like emceeing events, right, because that's another thing where they probably don't expect you to be super funny. They expect you to entertain a little bit, you know, as you move from one thing to the other that you're talking about. But have you ever thought about doing something funny with with your career—comedic, I should say?

    Yeah, I guess the emcee is the only potential kind of path that comes to mind. Because I do love hosting, like, I even love hosting in my own apartment. And I felt like I was hosting people at the brewery. And when I was at Forrester, like I was in the new hire orientation type of role so I was hosting new folks who were coming in, and I liked that. But I haven't thought of like pursuing a career in comedy, maybe because it's too scary. And I'm chicken. And also right now I'm an executive assistant. So like, it's very much like all business. You know, the executives that I support aren't looking for me to crack jokes. They're looking for me to like, manage their schedule. And I think that's something I'm missing a little bit of right now, not being in an office, is because I can't show off my personality a little bit, right. So that's hard. Don't get me wrong. I don't miss my commute. But I'm a social creature and I feed off of being able to make people laugh and make them feel heard and respected. And but no, I honestly can't say that I've wanted to pursue a career in comedy.

    And do you think that you could integrate it into a job that is not comedy? So I mean, other than being an emcee, is there a way to like, bring that into your work somehow, maybe not at a job you're currently at? Or maybe not in the same role you're in? But is there a way you could see kind of integrating it more than it is now? Or is that not something you want?

    At this point, I'm like, I just want to do my job. Like I love that I got a full time job at Boston Beer Company and I'm trying to be more reserved, because I did have such an outgoing personality when I was at the brewery. But that was a very different role than this one. So I'm not in a rush to, like, have that kind of reputation here. Like I definitely want to be a little bit more buttoned up because these people like don't really know me, and that's okay. Like, I would like to lay low, like under the radar a little bit. I think that's okay with me right now. If, in a perfect world, like it's so funny, because when they interviewed me for this job, they said, like, what would you want to do if you weren't doing this? And I said, stand up comedy, you know, because I want to be a stand up comedian, but am I trying to do it in real life? Like no, not really. I haven't been writing, like, I haven't done any shows, since the performance for the class that I took, you know, I can dream and hope that somebody discovers me and is like, Oh my gosh, she's so funny. There's this wonderful movie role that we could put her in. You know, and all of a sudden, I don't worry about bills anymore. That's, that's a ridiculous thinking, you know, I mean, like, that is so fantastical but I'm just like, I just got to do my job. Like, I'm here to work. I also, you know, one of my managers at Forrester said, like, your passions don't have to be in your job, you can explore them, like outside of your job, like basically saying your job doesn't have to be what you're passionate about, right? So I can still do stand up in my personal life and my job be a means to an end. You know what I mean?

    But you said you aren't doing that?

    I'm not doing that. You're right. You're right. But I get enough time with my friends, that that feels like a little bit like a stage, which is why I think people are like, you'd need to feel all your feelings and like you've learned to be funny and happy all the time. Like, you don't have to put on a performance for us. Like, you can talk to us about the hard things, which I'm very bad about talking about. Because for so long, I was a funny friend that I couldn't let anything bother me or I couldn't share anything that I was struggling with. I'm just trying to be better about that.

    Yeah, I've definitely seen that from you this past year, just connecting with you even over Zoom calls and FaceTime. I feel like you're, yeah, I feel like I've gotten to get inside a little bit more, crack through the shell a little bit more, and I so appreciate that. So I'm glad that you feel like you're in a place where you can do that.

    Thank you. Thank you.

    Yeah. Okay. So after our conversation, knowing that your gift of comedy is very meaningful, it brings people joy, it brings you joy, you feel fulfillment from making people laugh, and, you know, writing those jokes and testing them out. How do you think you will share your gift differently after today? Or will you not do anything differently?

    I should write. I should start writing again. Even just taking notes on my phone. I think when I was taking the stand up class, I was very observant and trying to capture like how I was feeling or reacting to things I was seeing out in the world. Or just crazy what-if situations that came up in my head, which is what my stand up set was mostly about, like this false scenario in my head, right? So I just need to tune into that more and capture it more. So I can at least go back and reflect on it. I don't want to be so brave as to say that I'll start testing it on people. But I think writing it down can be just as much of a release. If not just to make myself laugh, like, how did I get there? Like, how did I get to that thought, or what was that funny thing? I thought this is the market or the strange interaction on the street or at a park, right? So that I could commit to. That I missed because I do love writing, just capturing more of that. Yeah.

    Good. I hope that you do that. And if you want to share it with anyone, I would love to see it.

    Thank you.

    And speaking of that, if anybody listening wants to follow along your journey as you become a famous comedian, or not, where can they find you?

    I am on Instagram at audreyjb88. J as in James, B as in boy, 88, like the numbers, and I'm on LinkedIn, if you want to professionally connect with me. My first name is A-U-D-R-E-Y and my last name is Bigham. I'm like big ham, B-I-G-H-A-M. So probably where the comedy started, actually, like, I gotta be the first one to laugh at my last name. Like you can't be the first one. It's got to be me.

    The Big Ham.

    The Big Ham. Yep.

    Well, Audrey Bigham, I just adore you. And I'm so glad you came on today. And I couldn't imagine my first guess being anyone else. So thank you for wading through the awkwardness with me and I had so much fun talking with you today.

    Thank you for hosting, Mer! I love you. I miss you. This is going to be great. I can't wait to listen to who else you have on.

    Oh, thank you. All right. Bye!

    Ciao!

    Don't you just love Audrey? If you want to follow her on Instagram, she's at @audreyjb88. And she's on LinkedIn as well. If you want to follow me, Meredith McCreight, you can find me on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook with the handle @createwithoutbounds. You can visit the podcast page at meaningtoshare.com and check out more stuff from my brain at createwithoutbounds.com. You can find all of Audrey's info, my info, all the social links and more in the full show notes which also includes a few fun pictures of me and Audrey making trouble together up in Boston. Thanks for tuning into this episode. Share something meaningful this week friends. See you next time.