I was just saying it's been a productive day. Oh, what are you up to?
What's going on? That's good to hear.
Yeah. Yeah. I set aside 45 minutes now on the platform, it seems like it has a new feature to set aside that amount of time. Okay. How would you like to use the conversation today? Yeah.
I am feeling kind of ungrounded. Not not necessarily in by it's all positive. I'm really excited about a lot of changes happening in my life. But my brain is going like a million miles an hour. And I've been having trouble sleeping and I'm just like, overwrought and I need to come down to earth a little bit that I want to focus on.
Last time when we started you mentioned the about page change was keeping you up a bit. What's what's changed since last time we spoke
Yeah, good question. Well, I had my, my about page coffee date. It went really well. i Yeah, the critic reared its head and they told it to go away until later. And I got some words out, I wrote a paragraph. I do need to revisit it. I'm not totally happy with what I wrote. So now the critics coming back. I think I just need another another session to flush it out some more fine tune it but I was happy with how the work session went overall. Some other things that have changed. And I think some of some of our conversation, I think, contributed to some ripple effect with this. But I reconnected with some community this weekend and some creative sparks were flying and some folks I used to collaborate with creatively are we're having conversations about rekindling some projects which is really exciting. I've kind of put all my creative creative ambitions might even ambitions creative life on the backburner the last few years as I've been really focusing on my career development, and I've been unsure how it will enter back into my life if it will enter back into my life. So that feels super exciting. And it's kind of a I didn't necessarily see it coming and that's Timing just feels really right for me. So that feels great then, else I took action on that felt really good eye. And this is kind of like, in support of what I'm bringing here today of wanting to feel a little more grounded I am. I plan for a week off before starting the new job. From everything, I blocked out my calendar, I rescheduled with some clients. And that felt really good, too. So I know I'm gonna have this week to kind of literally get grounded, like my plan is to attend to my office space and these blinds that I've been wanting to hang and just nest a little bit and yeah, get a grip
what's keeping you up at night? Since you have had the coffee and the connecting with people and the week off?
Yeah, that's a good question. I think it's it's like not knowing what this new life is gonna be like. Some worry about Will I be able to meet the bar of having 2025 clients a week? It's like this anticipatory anxiety I think and excitement. It's like a mixed bag yeah
as you look at the next couple of weeks, what would coming back down to hearse mean
trying to think about this, and, and not just a tactical way, because my mind's going to Well, I could do XYZ and that would help me come down to earth, which is useful, but I'm trying to think about it a little more deeply than that I mean, I, if they were able to achieve coming back down under they think I would be breathing a little deeper, my noticing I'm just have this shortness of breath. And I think that the hamster wheel wouldn't be going at such a high speed. And hopefully it would mean that if I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm able to just fall back to sleep without the hamster wheel taking over. And I think the word that's coming to mind here is I would trust that I will adjust and learn what it is I need to do to be able to take on this new opportunity, new opportunities and that if things aren't working, they will be here we'll be able to adjust from there
I hope this isn't too much of a repeat question from last time. But what makes it worth waking up in the middle of night and having a hard time sleeping? This new journey makes it worth it
I mean In a way it, it kind of is, like valid and reasonable that that's happening because this is a really exciting moment for me. Sort of like, in a way it is worth it. I'm like, you know, it's okay, this is happening right now, because this is a big deal. In particular, leaving the service industry completely. That's been, yeah, it feels huge. I've had that song, The Final Countdown playing in my head. Yeah, this feels like a big threshold, I'm crossing and I'm proud that I've been able to create something, create a career path that I'm really excited about. And connected with and that it's, you know, my, my career leading up to this, you know, as in people management for about a decade in the hospitality industry. And it was a really formative experience. And it also felt like, it kind of just happened to me. And I know, that's not entirely true, there were things that I was, you know, bringing to the table that created the opportunity for me to step into leadership positions, and but it wasn't this really like conscious choice of like, this is what I want to be doing, and giving to the world during my lifetime. I feel very empowered in the work. So this is really exciting. This is something that I'm consciously choosing, that I'm passionate about, that I see is a lifelong journey, intellectual journey, and but my, I continue to just feel so engaged with this work, and I'm just so excited that I get to do this. So in a way, it is worth it. You know, I'm not waking up in the night and feeling like dread and, and stress necessarily, I'm, I'm just like, I don't even know, just spin on what's it? What's it going to be like? You know, and thinking about client challenges that I have currently and how to improve and yeah, I don't know where I'm going with that. I'm losing my thread now. But
good work, by the way, on getting to this place where you get to make such a huge career transition. That's allowing you to serve people in a in a new way, in a deeper way. So congratulations. Thank you. And you said, you've already shared, you have some ideas of what you could do differently. What more would you want from our conversation? To get back to Earth?
Well, it's like I have ideas, but I'm not totally trusting that I'm gonna follow through on them. So maybe, maybe it's looking at some of those ideas. And seeing if we can see if I can instill through this conversation, still some trust or really identify what actually makes sense for me during this transition, period. Because I think some of what has me like, not committing to, you know, most of the things I'm thinking of are like routine things to implement in my life. And I'm like, but I don't know what my routine is gonna be like in three weeks. So I don't feel like I want to start now. So that's kind of like, where I'm struggling.
Sounds like the editor critic just showed up there.
Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of like why bother? It's not Yeah.
So we can look at what ideas make the most sense, while also exploring some of the hesitancy, the editing around these ideas. How does that sound?
That sounds great. Yeah. Thank you for helping me articulate something. Concrete in this I came to this session just feeling kind of all over the place and not sure where to go so that's useful
you're doing you're doing good work talking it through thanks since it is worth having some excitement How do you want to feel as you get back down to earth
present a little more just like clear on what's needed from me each week. What I'm wanting to do with this energy I have a lot of energy despite the sleep deprivation. So where to put it
which are those should we explore first the presence what's needed what to do with the energy?
thing think though, what to do with that energy? What's needed kind of bucket because I think the presence will kind of come from that
I almost feel like there's a bit of a fork in the road between me asking you what do you need? And what do you want to do with all that energy? Where would you like to go? I?
Think what do I want to do with all that energy? Yeah.
the laziest question. What do you want to do with all the energy Yeah.
Things that are coming up. Don't totally make sense to me. But they're what's coming to mind. It's like, I want to play and have fun. Yeah, like these next few weeks, I kind of want to have fun
what makes the next few weeks a great time to have fun.
It sort of feels like I'm graduating. And I have a little mini break. I mean, I have the week off but I also will have a couple of weeks where I just have my coaching, current coaching clients and no restaurant work, so they'll be a little lighter and I've done all this. I mean, I've just been hustling so hard the last few years and it's not over the hustling will continue kind of want to give myself a breather now that I've achieved just like some semblance of security and I'm gonna be okay, I'm gonna be meeting my basic needs and getting to do this work. And I want to just like take a breather. which isn't what I thought I was gonna say I thought I was going to be like I need to start doing my Monday our ones again and like plan out my weeks and take like a productivity angle but I think some of my like like frenetic energy I'm feeling inside is that I'm maybe having some resistance to that productivity piece right now and wanting to just kind of relax and enjoy myself
so what needs might you fulfill if you were to relax and have some fun
I mean even just talking about the concept of that like I am feeling all this tension release from my body and I yeah, I mean to my support that need of coming down a little bit maybe I'll even sleep a little better who knows think the other the other thing that's kind of like picking up speed in my life right now. Partly because I've felt like I've anticipated haven't really had capacity, but I've been anticipating capacity with the new shape of my schedule. And I think also just like where we're at in this pandemic journey. My social life is just picking up again. And that feels really exciting and good I'm just like feeling feeling more connected with my community Yeah, they think that that's like a piece of the having fun the next few weeks
Yeah. So what would your editor perspective say to the idea of having fun and spending some time on the social side? The next couple of weeks?
I think it would say that for any you've still got to work on your content for your website Yeah, yeah, it was, it would be cautious of me like losing myself losing track of my responsibilities. Response, I think perhaps I can strike a balance kind of like, in a way, doing the bare minimum to stay on top of things. actually thinking about back in early December when I lost my cat that I had for 21 years and that's real, real rough, also kind of a part of this, this threshold. But in the weeks following, I really had to just do the bare minimum. And this is kind of a Is this for like a different purpose? No then it was because I needed energy and space to grieve and now it's because I'm yeah I want to I mean in a way I don't know maybe it is also needing some energy and space to kind of grieve and process actually and not not in like necessarily a heavy way but I am it is a big transition and I want to be like engaged with that yeah that feels just landing on that in this moment feels strong and important to this and also I think it it feels like a like a strong rebuttal to the critic like the critic can't argue with that
we're did these ideas of celebrating your graduation and grieving that transition lead us next with our our conversation
Yeah. I think maybe getting into some of the How will I do that? How will I celebrate how will I grieve? How will I be present with this process the next few weeks
What's clear about the house
that I need space time and space to just kind of move through some of my days intuitively and without obligation
I could make an observation throughout a conversation you've taken some nice and here you took a what happened as you're talking about moving through intuitively?
Yeah. I think I was thinking about my calendar and when am I actually going to be able to fit that in Yeah, that's that's what was happening. And the answer seems to be well you'll be able to fit that in when you have that week off yeah, I think I would like to find some smaller spaces to breathe before and after that week
what kind of actions could you take to find the spaces that you need
yeah I can look at my calendar and block out some windows of time that are currently available so that they don't become unavailable save save some spaces for myself that's that's coming to mind right now.
would still be a challenge if you had the spaces on the calendar booked out
that's a great question I think it would still be a little bit of a challenge to honor those times as times to kind of do whatever I want to be able to like listen to myself tap into that intuition and kind of follow wherever my spirits wanting to go when there's no obligations you know on either side of that saved time I think it might be hard for me to like turn off from those Yeah, I think the critics gonna be a little noisier.
Earlier you said that, um, kind of the critic wouldn't have much to say about the importance of the grievance at least. Is you imagine doing the time. What's changed about your perspective on that critic?
Yeah, there's something about like the week off. I feel I just seem so determined that week. I guess it feels almost like thinking of taking time for myself beyond that leak maybe feels like frivolous and just harder to access. Given that I'll be on Yeah, it's like I feel like I won't be able to really unwind till I can really unwind.
Which we focus on next to help you get closer to the unwinding?
Yeah, I mean, maybe in these weeks where I'm still on, it's actually more about having some structured more structured ways of unwinding and not so much about like, the free abandoned one thing that's coming to mind is there's a I really love to sauna and there's a sauna spa in town. And that that always does a good job of helping me. Release and be present. And it doesn't require it just like the experience holds me I don't have to work yeah. Or that or I've been thinking for a while about booking a massage that actually sounds really nice
What will you do? I
think I will book a massage Pat I think I will actually do that I have a friend who is a Miss Susan does she does house calls to the traveling business it's kind of amazing. Nice yeah
the question occurs to me oh is this frivolous? But then followed by what makes that pre valatie worth it
yeah I'm glad you bring that up because that is in there primarily like from a financial perspective because my my budget is tight which is why I haven't booked a massage and yeah, and I'm coming back to this just been like a really special time. I think it's worse worse spending that extra money right now. And to trust that I'll be okay. And I will
how close to Earth do you feel? Is you're coming up with all these ideas?
Pretty close. Yeah, I've been noticing my feet different moments in this conversation gripping or not gripping and right now they're feeling pretty relaxed on the floor
good work what's left to do with our conversation today? I
don't think anything I mean, I really I am going to message my friend is scheduled massage when we get our fair call. That's yeah, I think it will be as good as it felt to block out that week last week I think this will also have a similar effect on my spirit to block that that time
yeah now that we've been talking all of this room, what are you recognizing about yourself during this transition for?
Yeah, I mean, I think this conversation was really helpful just to as an acknowledgement through I haven't really fully I mean, I'm acknowledging that this is a big deal but like this conversation hadn't really articulated the concept of like yes it's like a graduation and this threshold and yeah, and that's some of the energy and excitement I'm feeling is of a celebratory nature and also kind of grieving and yeah, just I think I'm, I'm anchoring into what a big moment this is in my life
thank you for allowing me to be a part of the journey. You're doing important work for yourself during this transition. copia. You have a really good week or week off anything else we need to do to make the session complete?
No, yeah, I feel complete. Surprised. Yeah, I feel much. I feel much more present than I did at the top of our call. I was like, Oh man, I'm bringing Brian, just a mess of nothing today. We got somewhere with us. Thank you.
You're very welcome. Thank you. Well, we'll see you tomorrow. Let me know if you need anything but you have a wonderful day. Thanks CJ Bryan. Take care
