Love in the Maternity Ward: Kadine & Ontonio
6:10AM Feb 19, 2022
new york times
Hi, I'm Sarah Wendell.
And I'm Alicia Rai. Welcome to Lovestruck Daily. Are you ready for your daily dose of love Sarah? Yes, yes, I am. Bring it on. I'm in love with that. Love with you? Well, we all know if people who met their soulmate early on, but I bet none of them could beat our guests today, who literally met her husband in the maternity ward as a newborn.
Having seen newborns, they look like little teeny tiny squishy old men sometimes like alias is very, they look like little teeny, tiny alien, there's something adorable. And I can see falling in love at that stage. You and think about it. If you meet someone at that age, that's a really long time to get to know someone
that is a really long time to get to know someone to fall in love with them. Right? And I think because I only have known my boyfriend for two years. And sometimes I look at him and I'm like, Who are you? But I'm very in love with. You know, when you sometimes look at someone and you go, what's happening here? Like, how did you get my house? Like, oh, how are you here? This is like one swipe. And you're in my house?
I have that with my spouse? I have that with the children. Yes, every day sometimes with the dogs like who even aren't I
love Kai very much. But it's just like, where did you come from? We actually, we did something when we were first dating and we do it periodically. It's 36 questions to fall in love. Do you ever heard of this from the New York Times?
You told me about this? And I have not done it yet. And I think I need to get on this.
I know you think you know Adam, but I feel like you don't know him? I mean as much
we have known each other since 1992. So almost. Wait is that 30 years this year? Oh
my gosh, it is? Wow. Yeah. So
I we have known each other for 30 years,
I think you should take this quiz. I feel like you're gonna be surprised by something. Do you want? Do you want to fall in love with me? Do you want to take it with me?
I already adore you. But I think we're going to take this quiz. Let's let's do
it's 36 questions. We'll do like the first question. How's that?
Let's do the first one.
We'll start with the first one. Maybe we can continue this many episodes. Getting ready. All right. Question number one, given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest? Let's say living just living it? Because that'll make it a little easier. I think
well, because my my default answer. Well, I have to tell you the first thing I think of is okay, what are we having for dinner? Do I need to worry about the food? No,
no, you everything is being magically catered. It's like Hogwarts dinner like you think of it and it appears I love
this. Yeah, my answer used to be Betty White. Oh, no. Cuz, you know, you know, she had good stories. You know, there was some Hollywood dirt that would be like all of these people are dead. So it doesn't matter. Here is the T. So that was that would be my answer. But if we're going to limit it and to people, right, if buddy, so if we were going to limit it to people who are still alive? Hmm. It's a tough question. It's a really tough question. What's your answer?
I think I would do somebody famous just to get the dirt. I would probably do somebody who seems like they would gossip with me. I would say Madonna. Oh, you know, she knows. I feel like she would give me all the dirt on everybody. Yeah.
I love your choice.
Is that a good choice?
Okay, it's a really good choice. And you know, you've got lots and lots of history to talk about. I am going to have to think Can I give you my answer? After our after our guest?
Yeah, let's let's do that. Let's
get to our guest. Okay. Yes, because we have a lot of history to cover. It's time
to welcome our guests, Katie and Kristi Kay Dean is an author and blogger. And her legendary story of meeting her husband Antonio on the day they were born, has been featured in The New York Times and on the Modern love Podcast. Today we're going to delve into Katina and Antonia story going beyond their untraditional first meeting to explore how two people turn this intimate connection into a lasting romance. Please welcome Katie and Kristi.
Welcome. It's so nice to have you here.
Oh, it's such a pleasure. I'm so excited.
So Kadian Can you just recap, give us a brief recap of how you guys met and the very unique circumstances around that.
Okay, so my mom went to the hospital. Antoninus mom went to the hospital. They were total strangers from different parts of the island, Jamaica that is, and it's so happened that they shared a space. It's not really a room because they didn't have rooms then. And my mom goes into labor on the 13th of April. And she delivered me and everything was okay. And his mom when it was time for her to go into labor. You know, the doctors kind of told her that you're breech. Oh no And it's 1981 in Jamaica, so the technology was not as advanced. And so she was really scared because she didn't know if it was life or death. They basically told her that you have to make a decision between your life or the baby's life. And you know, she chose her son. And she basically went to my mom with her Bible and her ring ring, and gave it to my mom and said, you know, just in case I don't make it out of surgery, can you just make sure that you give my belongings to my husband when she when he comes to get the baby. And so when my mom tells that part, she just remember, like looking at her and she wanted to do whatever she could. And so their lien Antonios mom basically asked my mom to read her favorite scripture before she went off into surgery. My mom did that. And then she came out of surgery, and she had the baby boy, she was okay. But she was really sick and really stitched up. I think at the time they use like something like Staples. So it wasn't like how it is now. And so she was basically like, flat on her back and couldn't do anything for her baby. And so my mom took care of Antonio and I like she rocked us. She cleaned us, she washed her nappies. It wasn't diapers at that time. Oh, no. So watch the nappies. And she, you know, she did whatever she could for us. And when my mom gave birth to me, she got kind of sick and lost a lot of blood. And it's amazing that they kept her over just because of because of that to watch her. And that's how she ended up being there for Antonios mother. Oh, gorgeous. Wow. And so yeah, so that's our birth story. So they gave birth, and they went their separate ways. And that's where the New York Times piece kind of ended.
But that's, that's so amazing. And you guys, we're not neighbors, right? No, it's far apart on the far apart
on the island or shore. It's a probably two hour drive. With potholes, however, in Jamaica, that's,
they will eat your car. They have no compunction about swallowing both of the axles and being like, well, you live here now.
Yes, you do. And you will not be moving for days. No, yes. Yeah. With potholes, sometimes three hours. It all depends.
Did your mother's keep in touch? Did you guys hang out as you grew up?
Okay. This is my favorite part. Tell us please, would love to hear. So his mom went back to her little community, my mom went back to my community. In Jamaica, we don't have mailboxes, we basically have a small little shack that will be built in the middle of town. If you feel as though you have mail and you want to walk in the hot sun, then you go ahead. And that's what happened with my mom one day, she just wanted to like take me on a walk. And she walked me to the square. She went to the post office. And it happened that there was a letter in the mail from Lurleen. And the letter was basically expressing her gratitude for being there with her for being there for her for taking care of her son. She wrote updates about Antonio and my mom at the time really needed a friend because my father was a farm worker. So after she gave birth to me, he had to come back to the United States to farm to be a farm worker. And so she was really lonely. And the letter was something that kind of helped her during the time that my dad was in there. So she wrote a letter back to his mom. And they wrote letters across the island that way, just, you know, updates. How are you? What are you, you know, and eventually, they decided to like meet up. And so eventually, they became very close, and decided that they would become godparents to each other's children. Oh, I know. So that is how we were able to form a really beautiful foundation when it comes to like our childhood, because we spent time together as babies. Yeah. And so the hard part came when my mom also my mom and my dad migrated to the United States. And one of the things that my mom asked my grandmother to do was to make sure that we still spend time together. So from the age of six to the age of 10, I spent my summers without telling you, oh, so we played house. He was usually the dad and I'm usually the mom and our siblings were the you know, the the kids. And so it's funny now that we've been married for 16 years, because we're not playing house anymore. It's like different real Yeah.
Different when there's like when the bills are real. And that smell coming out of the back of the fridge is real. I
know. And you're arguing who was going to do the grocery shopping this week. Oh my god. And this
all started with Lurleen basically writing your mother, like literally the mother of all thank you notes.
I know. Isn't that amazing? That's so amazing, because they would have not otherwise connected because they were very far apart. So yeah, it was the letter. That's why I love letters to this day. If you write me a letter, you're my friend forever, you know? Oh yeah. Yes, yeah.
So how did the two of you reconnect as adults?
Because we were God, brother, God, Sister, if you want to say. Our parents made sure that when I went to Jamaica, we always went to see him. Oh, good. And then he would come to the United States. So he came here for probably three summers and spent time with us. And one of the time he came ahead and boyfriend Oh, so he didn't talk to me for the two weeks. All he said to me was Good morning, Miss Henriques. Good night Miss Henriques was too intense week, the man did not talk to me. When we said goodbye, that time, I really thought that was it. Eventually, I thought I was completely over him. I was a single mom and I had a daughter, and April 2005. He called to say happy birthday. And I was like, oh, oh, you know, like, I just kind of felt the chill. Like, I felt everything was like, it was a warm chill, though. It was like something is is awakened in here. What is this? And from then on, we spoke all the time. Oh, because by now he's gone back to Jamaica. And we're on the phone, buying phone cards, talking all the time getting really heated. And then one day, he said, You know, I want to come and see you. And I said, Are you sure? Because you know, I explained the whole thing about having a daughter not wanting to be involved with anybody. And he said, I'm going to come and see you. And he came September 24 2005. And we got married two months later.
Oh, my gosh, yes.
I know. I know. When you know, you know,
you know, you know, you know, but like,
what feels like both
the longest courtship and the shortest courtship.
And that was the thing, like when he came here, he was like, I am not really coming here to be your guests. Like, I don't know what you have in your head. But it's been forever. I'm not letting go again, you know, so. So he knew. He knew, like he knew more than I did. And he was just and I was very hurt over time. And I feel like, I needed his gentleness to like, kind of like, you know, soften me up. And so I'm always amazed by his love for me, honestly. Do you
see this as some sort of like, like this was faded. This was written for you? Or do you think that this was just a series of wild coincidences that happen to work out?
I definitely think this was written for me. Like, you know, when you think when you sit and you reflect on your life, yes. And you see all this, all the little details that kind of builds and adds up. Every time I tell this story. I get goosebumps. It's my story. But every time I tell it, I just feel like it was fate for sure. Yeah.
I absolutely believe it. Believe in those moments that you said, where you felt the warm chills? Yeah, this is going to be something. Yeah, this is this is real. This is a moment when my life is going to make a little bit of a shift. And I'm right, and I have to be ready for it. Because yeah, it comes. Yeah, that resonant moment is very powerful. Yep. May I ask what your mother's said about all this? Oh, yeah.
When he came, and he knew he was going to marry me, he, it's funny, because he left me one night, he said, I'm going to just go see your mom for a little bit. And when he came back, you know, he said, he basically went and asked for her blessing. And I said, for what? And he said, Well, we're going to get married. And I said, Okay. And so I said, What did mommy say? And he said, Well, you know, you guys have known each other forever. Like, if it's gonna be anybody, it would be Antonio, like he was there from the beginning. Oh, and so for her, she was really just excited, especially after seeing me go through so much. She was just very thrilled that he was an upstanding guy, you know, and that she knew and she knew his family. She was still friends with his mom and his sister. And so it just felt very connected. I do feel blessed for sure. Like, I just feel like at peace with my love with him. Yeah,
I know that you said he knew. He knew that he wanted to marry. He was certain. When did you when did you know?
I think there was a time when I was on the phone with him. And I said, you know, I have a child. I don't want to get into anything that's you know. And he said, listen to me. He's like, I've loved you forever. Any child of yours is a child of mine. Oh, and that was before he came to the United States. And I think at that time to be accepted fully, like to be accepted for myself to be accepted for my daughter and to be accepted as a unit. Yeah, I thought that was very impressive. And I definitely felt for him then because he fell for us.
And it reflects what Lurleen said initially on the night that he was born that she was prepared to place her child's life As the most important thing for her in it for you, you are going to place your child's life and safety and love above everything else. I mean, that is, you know, that's part of the base model of parenting. That is, that is kind of the job, right? But also, these are the these are the relationships that are so important, and you're going to openly Stake your ground on them. You're going hey, this is this is the essential, and he's gonna have both of you. Oh,
I love it so much. Yes.
If you met you, in 2005, if you went back to you in 2005, what would you say to yourself?
You're going to find love, you're going to find someone who's going to love you and your daughter. You're going to learn to stand on your own two feet. Don't cry so much.
That is solid advice for everybody. You will be okay. That is wonderful.
And it's all around the corner. It's like everything is around the corner, you know,
a pothole or two? Yeah.
The love you're waiting for is around the corner. You just have to keep going.
Yeah, yeah, I think that's I think that's it. That's the trick. Yeah. And where can people find you on the internet?
So I'm on Instagram at Katie underscore, Christie. Okay, I am on my blog, WW, Katie and christy.com. And I'm also on Facebook, Katie and Christy page.
Well, Katie, and this has been such a treat. We love this story so much. It's beautiful.
This was incredible. It was such an honor to me. Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you ladies. This was this was a pleasure as well. Thank you so much for having me.
That was amazing. Oh my gosh. I don't know. I got teary. I got teary like two or three times. And I was trying to soundlessly get a tissue for my desk. And that was not working for them. I didn't that was just incredible. So before you carry on with your day, let's grab some love to go what is your sweet thought from our episode today, Alicia.
I just love how Katie and talked about how you just go to have to keep going. And I think that that's so true that we do sometimes just have to keep keep going even when it feels like love is out of reach. And even when it feels like there's potholes. Yeah.
And listen to those moments where you can feel something is about to happen.
Absolutely. Listen to those moments. And speaking of listening, they'd love to listen to your love stories. So please send an email to lovestruck daily at frolic dot media if you have a love story to share or any questions or thoughts, follow us on Instagram or Twitter at lovestruck daily for extra content and leave a review, subscribe and spread the word about the show. And Sarah before we leave, you have to answer me who is your dinner guests.
This is not a fair one. But I just realized that the person I would love to have dinner with is a journalist and Helen Peterson. She used to write right she used to write all of those celebrity profiles for Buzzfeed now she's an independent journalist. She has her PhD in celebrity gossip, vintage eras, I would just want to have dinner it'd be like tell me everything you learned on your dissertation and then tell me all your celebrity analyses. I want to hear all of them. That's why I'm having a dinner. We're good. We're good. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein. Our editor is Jen Jacobs. Our producer is Abigail steckler and little Scorpion studios. Our behind the scenes Hatcher of plans is Gillian Davis and we are executive produced by Frohlich media and I Heart Radio. And for goodness sakes, just I'm in love with love with you. I'm in love with you