2023-01-17 Challenge Check-In (2 of 5) Prioritizing Pleasure

9:07AM Jan 22, 2023

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

pleasure

unpleasant

pleasant

feeling

mindfulness

spinning

meditation

buddha

fueling

challenges

experience

persist

place

preoccupation

mental processes

present

checklist

ruminate

feeding

life

Good morning. Or today, hello. And here to give the second talk on the mindfulness check in, and how to use mindfulness, the classic mindfulness teaching on the three foundations as a way of freeing ourselves from unhealthy and useful preoccupations with the challenges difficulties we have in our life. It's not a denial that we have challenges. But it's possible all too easy for us to become fixated on them in on useful way. We can get preoccupied, we can ruminate, we can repeat the same kind of fear based thoughts about what will happen what it all means what's going to happen to us, we can possible to steam in, in anger and just kind of be caught up in the endless story of blame and who did what and just angry and about someone. Of course, there might be reasons, to be afraid reasons to be angry. But to ruminate with it to to persist in it and spin in it is use one way an unhealthy way of placing our life energy placing our attention. And it limits, it narrows the scope of a way how we can be present for what is here. And so, and even you're spending a lot of time thinking about things, eliminates our lives. Thinking has a role, but to be lost in thought. So when the Buddha taught the four foundations of mindfulness, there is no obvious place in there to be mindful of thinking, we often will teach mindfulness of thinking as though there is a place but in that teachings of the Buddha, there is no obvious way. And I think he knew very well that people think a lot. In fact, he gives instructions elsewhere of how to work with distracted thoughts. But I think in the in the classic teachings on mindfulness, he offers a different way of being present for our direct experience. That's not mediated so much through our thinking. And that is rather than see things through the lens of what we're thinking and how we're thinking, and is to drop into these four different areas to kind of tease apart these four areas of the totality of our experience. And that is to be aware of how things are experienced physically in the body, how things are either pleasant or unpleasant. The pleasure or the discomfort of things. The mind states, and then the mental processes. Today, the topic is the second they what's called the feeling tone of experience. And when we go through the checklist, and say, Okay, I'm having some difficulty. And and it didn't happen today, but almost happen coming down here to IMC to teach a little bit late later than usual. And so I could be could have been preoccupied about, oh, I need to get here I'll be late what will happen? And how am I going to be efficient when I get there to set everything up and and that can be spinning that way. So that would be the challenge, the challenge of being late and my preoccupation and, and worry around that. Once I noticed that's happening, then I give myself the checklist. Now what's happening the body, I'm agitated, what's happening, feeling tones, it's unpleasant. What's happening, much they it's gotten narrow and tight. And what's happened in the mental processes, I'm caught up in a certain degree of worry, a certain degree of, of, of a little bit of aversion to feeling the way I'm feeling. And then if I look at that checklist I see Well, the most interesting place maybe the strongest place is actually it feels uncomfortable, that whole thing. Let me look at the discomfort. Let me that that's the important place to bring attention to. And sometimes that's enough, because that's enough to me to recognize that I'm tense. And so then I can relax. I can soften around this how I'm feeling and that kind of opens the afield and relaxes the whole thing without having to figure it all out in my thoughts and ideas and be stuck there. So that's a simple way that mindfulness can work. But for the Buddha, the attention to the feeling tone, can be revolutionary. And it was for the Buddha, because when he discovered some of the pleasures and joy of meditation, he asked himself, do I need to be afraid of this? And he said, No, it's okay to experience this pleasure. And this kind of in a very, you know, distant way, is little bit a little bit mimics my experience of meditation over these years, I've meditated. That in the first 10 years of meditation or so, I had no idea. Exactly, I was discouraged from feeling any pleasure, if you went to the meditation teacher and talked about your feeling pleasant or pleasure, you were told, let go of that just kind of stay present, be with the emptiness of things be with just just sit and not focus anything, just let go of it like, Oh, and there was no way of acknowledging and even though I would sit meditation in that tradition, and have sometimes really good feelings of being present, they were never validated or given a place. And when I started studying Vipassana, I eventually discovered there's actually a very important place. And it's okay to experience pleasure, it's part of what it means to be human being is to have pleasure. But in fact, don't be attached to it. Don't strive and struggle to have it, don't expect it. But do allow yourself to feel it. And it can be revolutionary, when the mind is preoccupied with what's uncomfortable. If the mind spins out in fear, or an anger or distress, or grief or sadness, all those emotions are part of human life and certainly don't want to deny them or or cut them off directly. But, but the preoccupation with them. And the preoccupation with these kinds of difficulties and challenges, becomes the fuel for the challenge to be bigger and persist longer. And so we have to somehow be able to moderate or monitor how we're what we're fueling, and what we're feeding and growing and in pursuit and maintaining. And so it isn't that we're not supposed to feel some discomfort. But maybe it's unnecessary to feed it. And there's something powerful that happens if we start tuning into the pleasure, that pleasantness of the moment, that isn't, doesn't not meant to be a denial of what's unpleasant. But it's a way of, of moderating or finding our way with what's unpleasant. There's a different reference point, there's a different way in which our attention is being fed, our attention is being conditioned, it's been conditioned by what's pleasant rather than persisting with what's unpleasant. So some people might protest around this kind of idea. And that's, you know, maybe reasonable to some degree, but if your pay careful attention to our minds reactivity, and what we what we're feeding what we're influenced the ruminations the spinning of the mind is having, and you find out that a persistent way of thinking and persistent way of kind of being caught and is fueling your feelings fueling the distress fueling the sense of emotional challenge that's going on. That also is not very useful. It can actually spin out. And, you know, if you really spin out in a panic attack or really spiral downward, it's really good to, to go do something different, that's enjoyable. Go find a kitten to play with. Many years ago, I used to take long showers when I was really spinning out with with fear, and that would somehow settle anything the pleasure of the shower, go for a walk where you can enjoy trees and skies or something. And finding something pleasant to do when we're in danger of spinning out with our preoccupation is a very good intervention and to settle the nervous system to quiet things down and, and then we'll be in a better least to come back and address the issue. Not a few people have found that taking a pleasure break,

to going off and doing something enjoyable playing with a kitten. And then coming back later to address the challenges we have, they're in such a better place to reflect on or think about are wisely or do what needs to be done. So that's a common kind of everyday kind of thing that people can do. But we also learn to do that in meditation and through mindfulness, we learn to not prioritize the unpleasant, not prioritize the negativity bias that we might have in all kinds of ways it plays out. But for many people, it's starting to feel more pleasure in the pleasantness of life. And here now isn't, is just bringing things into balance, when we're imbalanced in the direction of what's uncomfortable. And as we start feeling the pleasant, that pleasure, what's comfortable, and give ourselves more time for that, that, that begins having a different conditioning on our emotional life or mental state, it tends to change the energy level of what's being energized and being, you know, spinning out, and it tends to energize healing states, pleasant states for here, it's a lot easier to be with our challenges, emotional challenges, mental challenges, worldly challenges, if we can hold it in a place of being calm, open, pleasant, kind of, at ease in the world and enjoying it. So to, to go through the mindfulness checklist. And when you get to the, you know, is this pleasant or unpleasant. The experience, there's two things that are important, you can say, you notice that that's where the pleasant implies, that's where the salient aspect, that's the big, that seems to be the significant thing I want to bring my attention to. So have those four things in the checklist, you might spend sometimes more time with a second. And sometimes all it's necessary is to know what well and be present for how it is present for the unpleasant that just that can change things. But sometimes you want to bring a balance into the whole system, By intentionally focusing more on what's pleasant. Not manufacturing it not going out and getting alcohol to make it pleasant, not doing something that's too artificial or too contrived or something which doesn't have a good influence on you. But healthy forms of pleasure may be forms of pleasure, that don't require doing anything, but rather, you know, different than what you're doing. But rather availing yourself of the pleasure that's already here. And that's what we can do in meditation. What's already here? And can that be a support for being with even the difficulties? Can I let that meditation pleasure? Can I take it in fully? And don't be an if the course of meditation, pleasure arises even the pleasure of being a bit calmer than you were before? Let that register? Receive that let that be don't be in this old school. Dismissing no can't be attached to that. Yeah, don't be attached if you can, but you're allowed to feel it and take it in and be nourished. There's a way healthy, wholesome pleasures of meditation of mindfulness of being and learning how to be with ourselves, have a healing force on us. So in this way, hopefully I've conveyed that the Buddha's emphasis on feelings, feeling tones and pleasure is a revolutionary thing for some people to focus on. And it's a game changer. So maybe at least for this next 24 hours, it can be the game that you play, explore. Certainly explore the world of how you experienced, pleasant and unpleasant. How do you react? How do you? What's your reactivity? Look, way of being with things that feel unpleasant? And what's your belief and reaction and comfort level? With what is pleasant? And can you allow yourself to notice more of the pleasures that are already here? Can you switch the maybe the negativity bias some people have to what's unpleasant, to begin to give a richer, fuller experience of what is To pleasant and may that be really beneficial and support this dharma practice we're on and support your ability to have a realistic and useful way of being with challenges. So thank you