Hey there. Welcome, welcome back. How was life landing for you today in your part of the world. I'm feeling so many things. And I feel like I just want to jump right into the shit we need to talk about this week, which is the fact that self love the term self love has, to me really become a commodity, it's become something that dominant culture really likes to sell, glorify, I feel as though as we've talked so much about in the last year, for those of you who've been around the podcast for a while, or even just recently found it, right, we've talked about how dominant culture has just made self care out to be, you know, bubble baths, and chocolate cake, and, you know, possibly a night out with friends, maybe, you know, a Netflix kind of binge night, and self care, absolutely. 100% can be those things, right. But what we've been talking about is how really self care is, you know, all the things that we do for ourselves, throughout the day, all the ways we show up to our care, also in saying no, and holding boundaries and asking for what we need. And, you know, so much of just the small and even mundane things that we do for ourselves. That's all self care, right? I know, I don't need to really explain this to you. But I'm saying all this because I feel as though, you know, within so many different spaces, whether is the you know, dominant cultures fitness and wellness industry, even within yoga spaces. I mean, we talk a lot about self love, we talk about, you know, being kind to ourselves, we talk about offering grace and compassion, I'm talking about it all the damn time. I mean, it's one of the key foundational pieces of Ayurveda. And I have to be honest, that this is something that I really see people struggle with. And it's not to say that most people don't believe they are worthy of their own love that they are worthy, or deserving of their own love, right. But I do think that it is a place where me be maybe, for some of us, maybe not all of us, were the foundation might be a little shaky. So listen to like, Just Just hear me out here. Lately, I've been thinking about the word friendship, in place of self love. And considering that Valentine's Day is this week, if you're listening to this, the week it drops, I thought it was you know, a bit of a timely topic to talk about. And so I want to start with a question that I really want you to consider. And it may be one that you've never considered before, or maybe not in a while, but what kind of friend are you to yourself? Are you a real one, you know, as they say, and here's the thing. I don't just mean when it's easy, right? Like when you're crushing it out there in life, you know, when you're doing all the things, or when it's time to go into protection mode, because, you know, no one messes with your friend. And so of course, if someone's doing wrong, you're gonna, you know, show up all, you know, lie in Ambarish, hopefully. But I'm really talking about in the messy moments in the moments where you make mistakes, or you fall short. Or when you feel vulnerable, or when doubt creeps in about whether or not you can do the damn thing. Are you a real friend to yourself in those times? Are you a real friend to yourself when you need to hear the truth or speak the truth, even when it's hard? Are you a real friend to yourself a true friend to yourself? When you start to bypass yourself or gaslight yourself? Do you treat yourself the way that you treat your friends, the people you choose to be with? Another reality is I want to speak to this because you know we always have to be in the real right. Resources are low right now for so many of us as we navigate so much of the awful stuff going on in the world. We're feeling squeezed for energy, motivation, time, money and brain cells and maybe even other things too. Right. And you might be finding that like in this conversation, or maybe this is something that you've been thinking about already, that you know, perhaps in this place in your relationship with yourself right now that maybe you're not being a great or an attentive friend. And you know what? That's okay, right? Because remember, in this space in these spaces where I hold them, where I'm opening space for us to come together and community, there is zero room for shame or guilt, right? Because all relationships go through rough patches, even the ones with ourselves, for real. And also, what I know for sure is that no matter what's going on in the world, in our communities, and in our personal lives, and really, because of all that, we have got to be real friends to ourselves. And friends, your friendship with yourself needs to include self acceptance, and non judgement, period. Because you know, the definition of friendship, the root of it is respect, trust and understanding. And a reminder to you not that you need it, but in case you do, you're deserving of that no matter what. I truly believe that friendship, right, that is based on respect, trust, and understanding. These are the building blocks for unconditional self love. And so when I say that I'm over the word, self love, is because I really even for us who are liberation focused folks, even those of us who are working so hard in towards social change, in whatever aspect we're doing it, that we, we do love ourselves, we are kind to ourselves, we are compassionate to ourselves. But I know for me, and it's probably the same for you, or for some of you, or maybe to an extent, where I'm really hard on myself, and I can be really mean to myself, and I can have really unfair expectations of myself that I would never have of a friend. And I would you know, if I, honestly, if when I stepped back, and I think about it, if I were to see my friend have the expectations of themselves, that I do have myself I'd be like, Are you like, for real right now? How much do you really feel like you should be getting done in a day? I mean, how much do you really feel is fair to have on your plate? Right? Like, all these different? I mean, these are just examples. But when I really think about it from that aspect, like would I call out my friend for doing this to themselves? The things I'm doing to myself? I would hope so. So I don't know, I just wanted you to think about that. Because it's something that has been on my mind a lot lately. If you've been around the show for a while, you know that my dad passed away unexpectedly in November, and we are just reeling from this. And life is hard right now. And so much is coming to light for me in terms of my own self care, and just the way I move through life. And, you know, even in this aspect, it's, you know, I'm judging for my judging myself for the way I'm moving through this phase of my life. Often I'm questioning myself, and this all came about, because like last week, you know, I was thinking about it, and just how I was being with myself, I was thinking about my work in the world. And, you know, I was realizing that if you asked me Do I love myself, I would absolutely say yes, there is a there was a time where no, the answer was no, for sure. Right? There was a time in my life where that answer was no. But I do love myself at the same time. I don't think it's unconditional. I think it's very conditional, and oftentimes conditional based on you know, my success based on where I've messed up. And that's not fair. Right? If I truly love myself, and if I'm truly being a friend to myself, I'm not gonna say mean things because the reality is if you say mean things to your friend, you're gonna apologize because that's shitty. You can say like, you could be real with someone without being mean. And for me, one of the, the biggest