Well, hello there, I am so happy to be here with you today. I hope this moment find you at ease or maybe you'll soften into ease as we get started. Today, the shit that we need to talk about is the fact that as adults, we desperately need more play playfulness, lightheartedness and leisure in our lives. And I'm not talking about more vacation time, although that would be nice, especially for those who are not afforded the ability to take a vacation to step away from work, to go and experience something in somewhere else, by the systems in power. And you know, me, I also recognize that for those of us with marginalized identities, we may not feel safe to do so to, you know, at all engage in this type of behavior. As a person of color, these ways don't always feel accessible. And I would imagine that's possibly the case for trans and non binary folks in countless other identities that are marginalized. I would also imagine that it's even harder for black and indigenous folks, in terms of people of color. Now, when I was growing up, I was lucky to have these actions modeled for me in the home. But when it came to outside of the home, like in school or in work, oh, it was like grind away time. I needed to work hard, work harder, keep working hard. And the thing is, you know, that's what I was taught, right? Here's the thing though. Capitalism is designed for grind culture, across the board. For all of us. White supremacy culture is designed for those who are not white, or holding identities closest to the proximity of power and advantage and privilege. To not be able to play be playful, light hearted, or leisurely. So friend, you know what I have to say, Fuck all of this. I'm tired of it. Let's disrupt the hell out of this. Are you ready? So when it comes to play, playful, lighthearted and leisurely, I went to the Googler. And to find each one. Play is a verb in means to engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose. As a noun activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation, especially by children. I thought this was really interesting that that last part was included and like really specified. Playful is an adjective fond of games and amusement, light hearted, light hearted and adjective amusing and entertaining. It could be also pertaining to a person or their behavior, it could be cheerful and carefree. When it comes to leisure Li, an adjective that means acting or done at leisure, or my favorite definition, unhurried or relaxed. Now, as adults, it is common to wait to engage in something fun, or relaxing until after you've completed the to do list, or at a time when there's not so much going on. Or when you've hit the proverbial wall, in terms of the rhythm of the Year break periods like spring break, or the week before the New Year and summer, especially here in America, I don't know about the rest of the Northern Hemisphere. But Americans go wild for summer. It is like a, it's like a completely different time. Completely different like person. It's like a whole different animal. Some people are privileged enough to take a vacation. Some people are privileged and privileged enough to have their time freed up in some way shape or form. But when it comes to being able to take time off, take a vacation or simply just free up time. If you're privileged to do that advantage to do that, there is a tendency to work overtime to do all the things just to prepare. And then after that time off period time away period is finished. It's right back to the damn grind. And often that can be a hard adjustment in the last couple of years As it has become clearer and clearer to me that one of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to create a life you don't have to escape from. And you're going to hear me talk a lot about this going into the summer. And I also want us to somehow find a way to not wait until the summer until if we have access to our schedules freeing up a little bit for the load to light in. Not to wait for that for play playfulness, lightheartedness and leisure. Now, research has found that blink being playful leads to a more fulfilled life. Play inspires free thinking creativity, and a feeling of beef being free spirited, it creates an experience of pure enjoyment free flowing fun, and imagination that doesn't need structure. Play that happens spontaneously, as well as planned time for play, are both beneficial. Adults truly need time to pause, break free from tight schedules and slow down the pace of hectic lives. Because the reality is, in most cases, life satisfaction is going to result from personal life status, like personal life stuff, the stuff that you do outside of work. And researchers have found that engaging in play increases happiness aligns with your deepest needs, and is a big indicator of your well being. And it also helps to improve your mood, shift your attitude and helps you take care of yourself and be more resource than to take care of others, right. And it can be a key factor in you living authentically and presenting your best self. And I shouldn't even say best self can I say favorite self, or the best that you can do at this moment with considering your resource meant your bandwidth and capacity. So let me not say best I can't stand that, that really just rubs me the wrong way. You know, the best resourced self that you can in the moment, you know, which honors that maybe maybe less than your best very often. And that's okay. Right? Because what is best anymore, I feel like you know, really, things have changed so much given COVID and the current state of the world that we're living in, right with constant stuff happening that is very hard to deal with. Now friends, you know, when it comes to the benefit to your brain, we're talking about, you know, when we allow ourselves to play be playful leisure light hearted, we're going to have an increased cell growth in the brain strengthened and strengthening and the development of new neural pathways, better verbal and social skills and improved decision making and problem solving skills. Think about this, like, you know, if ever you've watched children play or even I want to say dogs, I've had the most experience with dogs, but you may have had experience with other social animals. There is a process to play there is a learning of one another a a natural way of figuring things out together critical thinking but then also problem solving, adjusting. And there's a way that people or any, like animal any being figures out how to communicate, maybe better. So there's so much to gain benefit from with this. And so, when we think of play, we often think of like playing with the puppy or the dog or the cat, whatever it is that you you have that you care for it might be playing with kids or you know, like how lit because the question is like, how often are you truly playful? How often are you truly playing? And then, like how often are you actually light hearted or leisurely and what is happening before that specific place in time and what happens after. Here is a point of deep consideration for you.
I really feel strongly that leisure needs to come to the forefront of our everyday lives. And it doesn't have to be in terms of like in my mind when I think of leisure I think of a retired person that's kind of ambling around very leisurely, unhurried. Right, kind of going at their own pace. Content. I love that. And so for me, you know, I felt like, you know, considering my identities, considering my responsibilities considering, you know, my experiences in life and the way I currently experienced life, the shit that I've been through, like, do I really feel that these are possible for me? And in certain ways, yes. And in certain ways, no, was the answer I came up with. And, and so I encourage you to really consider what do these words mean to you? Maybe your definition is different from the Google definition. Maybe your definition is different from romantic partners, friends, family, co workers. And guess what, that's okay. Because only you are living your life. And so I really encourage you to get curious about what these words mean to you what these practices mean to you what these actions mean to you. And notice if you feel like you're deserving of them if they feel accessible, because what I want you also to begin to do, as we do with all of the self care practices I offer to you is begin to figure out how can we meet ourselves where we are, and begin to take small steps forward that are sustainable. And so when it comes to unhurt or even like the word leisure and bringing that to the forefront of your mind, may be the sweet spot or the beginning point is unhurried. Maybe you need another one, another place to start. And that's fine too. Because the reality is that when it comes to play, playful, lighthearted and leisure, it has to be authentic, not manufactured. And without guilt or shame. It has to be simple and true. Because here's the thing, doing something playful or leisurely, but with your mind full of thoughts, worries, troubles, thinking about or wondering about work, it all defeats the purpose and then doing it to avoid something like avoid work. I'm just gonna go do this thing because I want to avoid or slowly when you need a distraction or a bomb also, isn't it and I'm not saying that you should not use play playfulness, lightheartedness leisurely experiences to distract from work. Sometimes we need that because friends, let's be real, we're dealing with a lot of shit. And there's a lot happening in the workplace, whether you work for yourself or, you know, for someone else. But what I'm saying is, I am cautioning you against that being your regular practice that you're doing it only when you need a distraction, or only when you need a ball. What I'm what I'm encouraging you to consider is making this more of a regular practice. So you have to question where and how capitalism, white supremacy culture, the patriarchy, all the systems are playing out here. And the work becomes more about identifying where or how the systems are playing out and start to disrupt that so that you can be present, create and uphold the boundaries, you know, with what doesn't serve you and what does. And then be playful play, be light hearted, enjoy leisure authentically and deeply. You might also have to consider what your energy dominance is whether you are more vata dominant. And maybe creativity comes easily to you. Maybe spontaneity comes easily to you maybe play comes easily to you. Maybe you also need to build it into your life on a regular basis. So that way, it's not always spontaneous. Me Maybe you need to create boundaries around the amount of time you are doing something for and how you know, if you get too far in and then neglect other responsibilities, because it can go both ways, right? We can lean pretty heavily into it, and then not do the other things that we need to do and then feel like we're kind of stuck. What if You are pitted dominant and, you know, always working towards success, you know, very very motivated, very passionate, very dedicated. And so playfulness, playful lightheartedness, leisure. You know, you might feel like that doesn't have a place, except for when you're able to step away from the responsibilities, but I'd argue you'll be better at the work and the things that you're doing that are important to you, if you do this more, and when it comes to be more kapha, dominant, you know, more slower moving more calm, steady, maybe even resistant to change, you know, for you, it might feel a little uncomfortable to be playful or, or to play, because that may have to then require you to be spontaneous and that can be uncomfortable. You may feel very comfortable with leisure and lightheartedness. And so, I would encourage you then to maybe consider, how can you have different experiences maybe and not always stick to the same things you always do? Friends, the key here is that this becomes a lifestyle change, right where the intention is to especially like when I was talking about, you know, Bata dominant people, you know, that are, you know, typically creative. Not always though, they should show up in different ways, but also can get a lot of things done, they might multitask, you know, something that you might benefit from is doing one thing at a time, which can be heard, you know, being very the same way as if you do have a craft that is creative, you know, how you kind of have blinders on or, you know, you know, that you're solely focused and tuned in. Maybe you do the same thing with your other tasks, where you just allow yourself to be very present right there right now. Just a, just an offering. So some ideas to get you started in case you're like, Hmm, how can I do this for myself daily, or throughout the week, it might be creating or rekindling relationships, meeting up with friends, enjoying time with loved ones, engaging in a hobby that you love, or trying a new one, you might get outside of your allergies allow with your phone in your pocket. So that way, you know, you're just enjoying nature, rather than taking pictures or videos, you know, just being totally present. Maybe taking a walk, but not being hurried. Take an adventure doesn't have to be far, listen to music, sing and dance along, do something or surround yourself with people who make you laugh. You know, spring is a great time for spontaneity. It does love structure, though. And so finding kind of the balance that suits you with that it's going to be in court important. Using unscheduled time to people watch daydream, reflect and decompress. spark your creativity in any way. Maybe you're doing creative methods, like color plate painting, or any other artistic endeavor. But remember, creativity does not have to be artistic in nature, you might play games, or engage in friendly competition for those of you who are predominant, maybe not so much. But taking all of this one step further. Right? Because you're like, Yeah, stuff that's all well and good. But again, like, I might end up, you know, in that pattern of pushing hard, so I can create space for this play this leisure. And so what I want you to consider is what if you added an essence of leisure, a drop here in there, to your day, day to day throughout the day? Right? So that I'm not saying that, you know, if you have a job, and you're working on a project that now all of a sudden, you have to act like this, you know, retired person, that that example I gave earlier that, you know, you know, doesn't have any particular schedule they need to keep or you know, or have a vacation vibe to it, you know, whatever comes to mind for you. I'm not saying it has to do that. I'm not saying let go of all intensity, but remember, dominant culture white supremacy, culture capitalism, it has us pushing forward with this ridiculous intensity, ridiculous speed, this
ridiculous idea of what discipline is which basically translate to rigidity and consistency in action that is the same day after day, day after day that does not change based on our circumstances, bandwidth capacity, etc. And so friends like we know better let's start to disrupt that. In our day, and so what if whatever you describe leisure to be? What if you take an essence just a drop of that? And infuse that into various parts of your day? It could look different in every situation. How would your energy focus? Clarity, your ease shift? And if you're white, and or hold identities more proximal to power and advantage, how can you show up as a comrade and uplift someone in your community who has more marginalized identities than you so they have the opportunity, opportunity to create space for themselves, to play to be playful to be light hearted and have more leisure, not just once, but on a regular basis. It's lots of food for thought today, right? Sit with all that's coming up, let it all marinate. And remember, if challenges are coming up, if roadblocks are coming up, if you don't have all the answers right now, remember the practice of non attachment. And also remember, the best way forward always is with one small step. Even if you feel like it is not significant enough. That's okay. If it feels aligned, do it. If it feels uncomfortable, but you're like this is probably what I have to do. To move forward to get toward the place I want to go because remember unlearning, learning a new way learning a quote unquote better way that lets go of the bullshit. It's gonna be uncomfortable. They may not be easy. But it may be what you have to do. So be patient, be kind to yourself, be be, you know, offer yourself a lot of grace. And before we go, I've got to share with you something enormous that I'm celebrating today. The holistic self care collective, my personalized self care coaching and mentorship program is celebrating one year this month. I started this I opened this space one year ago last May. And this is such a joyous milestone that I'm so proud of. In case you're unfamiliar. The holistic self care collective provides you with support for your mental, emotional, physical, and energetic health that honors you as an individual and centers your specific needs. It offers you simple practices that are personalized and aligned for you and your lifestyle. It clears out all the bullshit robbing you of precious time, energy and presence. It encourages awareness and inquiry so you can be more present and less reactive or robotic. It actively implements health sustaining self care and mental hygiene practices, that impacts every area of your life, relationships work and how you show up in the world. And it helps you to ride the waves of life with more ease, so that you can better connect to and support your community. And so you can handle when you're overwhelmed when too much is happening, or when you feel completely bogged down. The best part is that within this program, it's not about adding more things to your already full plate to finally feel better and more at ease, because I help you sort out the stuff that isn't serving you so that you can create space for the quality practices that are aligned with your specific desires, and how you want to feel. And so like I said, in case you missed it, the holistic self care collective provides you with personalized self care coaches, coach Jake, based on practices that are curated specifically for you. That's the foundation of the program. And then I offer you a variety of other support to help you integrate the new practices that you and I create together and navigate challenges because let's be real life is going to life Right. And that is through live stream weekly classes, Zumba dance parties align yoga, which is a practice of asana, pranayama, and meditation that centers your needs and puts you in the driver's seat of the practice, plus recorded practices, as well as the recorded practices that include a monthly self care workshop. The yoga class that we do every single week, I upload a yoga nidra meditation every single month. You have access to also a restorative yoga asana practice every month pranayama and seasonal meditation as well. And I also curate practices based on specifically what the collective members need. And you also get community if you want it, we have a monthly meeting, group connection session called the gathering, and also the community circle, our virtual meditation session is also included in the collective. And so how it works, my friend, if you're like, Yes, I needed on this, the first step is to schedule an alignment call, this is a call that is at no cost to you, where we discussed where you are, how you want to feel, what your desires are, and how the holistic self care collective can get you started on your personal path to experiencing life on your terms. And then we'll work together if you decide you want to move it forward, we'll work together for 12 weeks, three full months to create your personalized self care plan. And in this time, we'll work together to pinpoint aligned practices that support how you want to feel mentally, physically, emotionally and energetically with an approach that fit your lifestyle, capacity and bandwidth. This is not a cookie cutter program, friends, I'm sitting with you with a foundation of practice practices from Ira Veta. That and I also changed them curate them just a little differently to fit you. And we talk about it, we talk about how to what practices would be aligned, we talk about what it is that you want and how you want to feel and what you have the the bandwidth and capacity for. So this is curating practices for you, not you fitting any old practice into your life. And now the thing I'm really excited about is this 12 week. Working together, this program is completely new. In terms of the structure. It used to be a one month program. And what I realized is that what I was finding was that clients needed more time it was too jam packed. I mean, this is the way that I was taught actually, to hold this space. And I realized that there there had to be a better way because people needed more time. And so what happens is during this 12 weeks, we'll 12 week period, we'll meet in one on one virtual sessions each month that are 30 to 60 minutes each. And we'll also email weekly to help you navigate your new challenges. I can answer any questions, celebrate you hold you accountable if that's what you need. We'll identify during this time old and limiting beliefs that are holding you back and work through mindset shifts to sustain you on your journey. And you'll have access to all of the support within the collective like those livestream classes, the recorded practices and the community as you integrate your plan. The cost for this is on four tiered justice pricing. And then after that first three month period where we create the plan, and you have access to everything in the holistic self care collective. Once you finish that you can then enroll into the holistic self care collective, on a monthly basis to keep the burden out of your self care to hold space around the lifestyle. You want to create for yourself and receive continued guidance based on your personal needs and access support for shifting your minds approach on a regular basis ongoing. So my friend if you're ready, let's discuss where you are, how you want to feel in the ways the collective can get you started on that relief that you need in a personal way. You can find out more information about the program at Steff gallante.com/collective and the link is included in the show notes as well. Until next time, my friend please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would those who are so precious to you whether it's a human and animal baby or a plant. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the support and guidance I provide in this episode. So please feel free to reach out and share them with me. And if you've been loving the show, please share it with your nearest and dearest and leave a review or a rating. My friend remember you are a badass and you are enough. Now go be your favorite self and be well
