So this is when I was going through everything with Peter. Man she had the affair with and all the shame and all the guilt and all the all the drama of it, when I tried to turn that lens of compassion inward. And I tried it out. So you know, Kristin? Yes, I know, you feel really horrible about leaving your husband and cheating on him and all of that, you know, but everyone makes mistakes. You did your best at the time, you wanted this new experience of love that you'd never had before. And that's so human. So I started being warmer and more supportive and more understanding towards myself. And the crazy thing is, it didn't make me say, Okay, well, that's fine. I'll just cheat on whoever it's not like, it caused me to dismiss my behavior and actually allow me to take more responsibility for it. I can turn towards it, because what was happening is I couldn't even look at it. It was still so painful. And I was feeling all the shame, but I couldn't even really hold off or process what I'd done. It makes such a difference in our lives, and we actually commit ourselves to taking responsibility, no matter how small the infraction might be, but to own it until and to be honest about it. I'm like, I screwed up here. You know, it's, it's by owning that by committing to is painful, no matter how painful the experience can be. And this is where zozen can really help with this. It's by holding on to that, that pain by not holding on holding on is the wrong word by by committing ourselves alright. You know, this is hard. I can do this. This feeling of yeah, we're just not suppressing that anymore. We're just not trying to pretend that we're perfect that that there's no problem here that everything's just fine. Taking response ability of what we've you know, of anything that we may have done to cause ourselves or others human by, or other people's pain I wish I would have had the wherewithal or the maturity to not have been in that situation. But that's where I was. And so the kinder and more supportive I could be towards myself, the more able I was to take responsibility for what I had done, but also to move on. So instead of being stuck there, I was able to learn my lessons. Okay, I'm never going to get myself in that situation, again, if I can help it, and to really commit much more firmly to honesty in trying to, you know, be a force for good in the world, not to harm others. All right, well, we're running out of time, I do want to just finish again, I feel compelled to talk a little more about Zen practice in this regards to everything I talked about. And again, I'm going back to Joko back, she's got this great section. Quite sure. But again, it's it's it's dealing with what's going on in our lives, what's going on in our heads. And this chapter, again, this is from nothing special, and the chapters called the sound of a dove in a critical voice. I got a phone call recently from someone on the East Coast, who told me in sitting this morning, it was quiet, and suddenly there was just the sound of the Dove. There wasn't any dove. There wasn't any meat. There was just this. When she waited for my comment, I replied, Oh, that's wonderful. But suppose that instead of hearing the Dove, you hear a critical voice finding fault with you? What's the difference between the sound of the dove and the sound of a critical voice? Imagine we are sitting in the stillness of early morning, and suddenly through an open window there is just chirp, chirp, chirp. Such a moment can be enchanting. But suppose your boss rushes in and screams, I should have had your report yesterday, where is it? What is the same about the two sounds? Or again, imagine this critical voice in your head?