TUYT 6.6

Amy Hoyt19min

Amy Hoyt

00:00

We believe in functional mental wellness, a holistic approach to mental health. We know that there's hope for those of us who have experienced trauma, even profound trauma and that's why we created the universe is your therapist podcast, we believe whether you call it God, the universe, source, unity or love that there is something much greater than us that conspires for our good, we envision a world of healing and connection, and we teach you simple but powerful practices that integrate your mind, body and spirit so that you can come home to your highest self and your truest identity. You are not broken, you are loved, and you can heal. My name is Amy Hoyt, and together with my sister, Lena, we will take you on a journey of healing and self discovery.

Leina Hoyt, MFT, MA

00:48

In fact, sometimes feeling comfortable is a red flag.

Amy Hoyt

00:52

Hi, on today's episode, we're talking about trauma bonds. And this episode is for anyone who's in a romantic relationship or wants to be in a romantic relationship. We cover how trauma bonds are actually our nervous system and our subconscious or autonomic responses to the environment we were raised in and how they can be mimicked, we also give you some tips on what to do if you find yourself in a relationship that is characterized by trauma bonds, as well as what to do to kind of avoid that dynamic and how to do some interventions for that. We hope you enjoy this. This is a wonderful episode for us to record, because we have personal experience with it as well. So Lena, what are trauma bonds,

Leina Hoyt, MFT, MA

01:42

trauma bonds are it well, it's a concept that came out of the addiction world, Dr. Patrick Carnes out of Arizona, he was working at The Meadows rehab facility, and he came up with the concept of trauma bonds, and trauma bonds comes out of the work of Dr. Patrick Carnes. And he worked for years as a psychologist at the meadows in Arizona, and it's a rehab facility. And he started to notice that a lot of the patients that he worked with, would end up in really problematic relationships. And when he explored further, he realized that what was happening is that when he explored, when he explored further, he realized that what was happening is that these people were accidentally recreating some of the chaos of their childhood. And they were accidentally or inadvertently picking partners, that mimicked an abusive parent. And there was no conscious awareness of this. But he started to pay attention to that. And that awareness has helped us understand some of why we choose the partners, romantic partners that

Amy Hoyt

03:01

we do. And I think what's so interesting about this idea of trauma bonds is this is way before we knew about CO regulation and mirror neurons. And so he identified a pattern that we now know, is part of a physiological response as well,

Leina Hoyt, MFT, MA

03:18

yes. And I think we knew about mirror neurons, but I don't know that we understood exactly what role they play in terms of our most significant relationships.

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