Coming to the Path Talk By Desiree Jaeger-Fine
6:16PM May 17, 2022
Today is May 15 2022 and I'm sharing the story about my Coming to the Path. But before I do that, I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge the tragedy that took place yesterday in Buffalo. It's disturbing. It's even more disturbing because it was racially motivated.
Oh, my name is Desiree. Yes. My name is Desiree Yeager-Fene. Thank you, Keith. Okay, so I'm Desiree and I moved with my wife here to Rochester last November, so that I can devote myself to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. So this is actually a really good point in time to talk about my Coming to the Path. We both quit our jobs to be here and my friends and family are a little puzzled about what looks to them an utterly crazy move. Probably is. It's also a good time to talk about my path, because my mom's currently visiting me from Germany. And so we were able to talk about my childhood. So part of what I'm telling today is from my memory and other parts are from memory of my mom. I divided the talk into three parts because I'm German and I like organization. And the first part is called Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. So I asked my mom at the beginning of the week, "So Mom, how was I as a child? And she said, "Oh, my shots" (which means, my treasure",You were a beautiful, beautiful pain in the ass. Yes, that does sound like me. So I was born in 1981. In Germany, in the home of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The town is called but Veldman but don't try to pronounce it. Tony and I are married for nine years and 10 years together and she still doesn't know how to pronounce but Verona and it's a perfect picturesque little city village. It has a Baroque castle and thrown on a hilltop. Opposite a half timbered small timbered small town. I can see the castle from my mom's kitchen. In the 16th century, Count Phillip lived there with his beautiful daughter Margaret. She died very young and was presumably poisoned. And it is this setting that the Brothers Grimm took to meet her destiny serve as the model for the fairy tale, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It is a beautiful little village and it's a giant playground for children. It is surrounded by by Woods, and it is actually located on the fairytale trail. So children are encouraged to go out and explore. We spend a lot of time in the woods. Even our walk to school is through deep deep woods. My father to this day writes to the tennis court with a mountain bike through the woods. And whenever I visited my family, I have to go straight from the airport to my nephews and greet me and they serve me coffee. They never serve me coffee only then. And give me about 10 minutes while standing there and patiently to me until they say okay, when are we ready for a walk? It doesn't matter whether it's snowing, raining 100 degrees or pitch dark. They are prepared with equipment. And even though I'm jet lagged, I'm always excited to go on an adventure with them. When they were younger, they showed me some mysterious tree trunk. Okay, if they found what during the months where we were apart, and now that they're teenagers, we must be talking about how stupid their parents are. But it doesn't matter what we do, as long as we do so in the woods. So it was not at all strange when my dad asked me one Christmas Eve, little one. Do you want to go into the woods with me? Ha Sure Dad, what are we doing? We will be searching for the casket. casket means Christ child. So this needs a little bit of explaining. The Chris kindling christ child is the traditional Christmas gift Bringer in Germany. It is sometimes depicted as an angelic like figure with with golden long hair curly hair. But the point is that no child has ever seen the Christ child. My family is not religious at all. We celebrate Christmas has a tradition but we don't have any religious elements in it. The Christ Child was simply part of our Christmas fairy texts. But while it may not have religious element, my father always made sure that it wasn't evening of wonder and searching for the Christ Child in the Woods on Christmas Eve is a tradition that has been passed on from generation to generation. And my brother kept it up with his four children. One of the reasons for doing so is to get the child out of the house while the mother puts the presents under the tree. So children ever see how the presents appear under the tree, because it was brought in secret by the casket. So in case you ever find yourself in Germany on Christmas Eve, and you have to search for the Christ Child, here are the rules. Number one, you cannot ask any questions, you cannot talk, you must try to work really silently without making too much noise because the Christ child would get scared. And third, you must look intently.
So we went into the woods that started right behind our house, and remaining quiet is impossible was for me. And of course, for my nieces and nephews. In this day and age, children are naturally full of questions. What am I looking for dad? How does it look? And my dad was very patient and always saying, I don't know. Just look. A dad, where should I look? Should look at the sky on the ground in the tree? I don't know. Just look. Of course, children find this rather frustrating. How am I supposed to find the Christ job if I have no idea where to look up or down left or right, or what to look for. So we're starting after my dad and I tried to look intently into the pitch dark and tried to hear sounds or smell something. And I was never scared. I mean, it was in the thick of the woods in the dark. We had a little flashlight. I was excited. It was always a moment where anything was possible. The silence in the woods was brimful of potential. My father made me believe that we could both find something very, very special. If we just stayed silent and looked intently. Every first step few steps my father would stop in his tracks he would hold up his finger break the silence and say I just What is this? He wouldn't actually point at anything. We were rained on moving stock, still belly breathing, just letting the echo of the question fill the woods, I can still see my nieces and nephews when we did that with them, the eyes wide open. It's just fascinating to see kids like that. And after a while he would break the intensity of the moment and would continue walking, and then only to stop again.
And then he kept walking. When we returned to the house, the Christmas tree was lit in the presence we're now lying under it and he said oh, it was already here. We missed it. Well, maybe next year. It took me a few years to learn how to properly search for the child, Christ child. At the beginning, I talked way too much Go figure. I was very often annoyed at my father for not giving me any hints, calm, just give me a clue. And very often I was disappointed that we didn't find it again. But as I got older, I understood that my father, of course knew that we will never find the Christ child. And I knew that there was no Christ child. And this made the adventure even more special. Actually. That is when it became really really special. Because then I wasn't looking for anything. We weren't just looking aimlessly, but we look intently. We didn't look for anything particular. When we stopped and my father raised his finger and he left me standing there in the echo of what is this? He he taught me to wander and sit completely comfortable. In the unknown. The words are not important. It doesn't matter what he what he asked whether it was what is this? Whatever he would have come up with. What matters was the question mark. When we paused and rested in the silent we questioned the universe, we open up completely. The trees were i The sounds were i The universe was I and when we continued walking you could almost feel the contraction against like, you become father and daughter in the woods again.
While with every good fairy tale, there are also some not so nice parts. I had to go to school eventually. And I hated school. The teachers kept telling me everything. The books were full of answers, things I had to remember and everything all of a sudden made sense. Everything could be explained. And I was never allowed to ask questions that didn't have an answer. I was so terrible in school that I actually had to repeat Pete a bunch of classes because my grades were just really really bad. Life became more logical became reasonable. And with it I got very sick teacher Just thought that they were giving me something special. They were giving me an education, they were giving me knowledge. While I thought they were taking everything away from me, they were taking the unknown. My parents divorced when I was about nine years old and we were flat broke. So my family comes from, from Naples from the south of Naples and emigrated to Germany when she was nine years old. And she never finished school, because she had to take care of her six siblings. So when my parents divorced, my my mom didn't have a school degree. And we had a lot of debt from that they accumulated during the, during their marriage, they were married for 20 years. And there was a lot going on. During that time. My my father and I, we had a lot of fights. And I didn't speak with him for two years. My brother and my father did not speak with each other for over 20 years, they just recently started to communicate again. During that time, I developed skin rashes on the soles of my feet in the palms of my hands and in my face. The rash turns to blisters, they opened up and became infected. My feet were particularly bad. The infection started to eat away at my feet up to the bones. There was pus coming out and blood dripping from my feet. It was so bad that I couldn't walk anymore and I had to use a wheelchair. I really didn't like the wheelchair, especially sitting at home in a wheelchair was was terrible for me. So I learned to work really efficiently. On my hands and knees. I was carried around where there were steps are moved around in a stroller or wheelchair in public. Sometimes when the situation got a little better, I could walk with crutches on the heels of my feet that were not open yet. And I lived like that for about three years. I must have been 1011. During that time 1011 12 The doctors had no idea what it was, and why they could not get the Wooster clothes. We went from doctor to doctor to city to city all over Germany, we tried every medication under the sun, but nothing worked. One doctor suggested that rather than wrapping the feet up and bandages, we should leave them unwrapped in the hope that with exposure to air they will heal. So I had to leave my feet over a bucket when I watch TV for the blood and pus to flow into it didn't take too long for flesh flies to start sitting on my feet like they do on that animal corpses. And they started nibbling away at the wound. So of course, I developed blood poisoning and spent a good amount of time at the hospital. It was it was terrible. When my mom talks about this today, she still gets tears in her eyes. The doctors eventually concluded that it was psychological. I was indeed very much in distress, but not because my parents divorced or the financial trouble that we had. That was of course very sad. But it was almost noise to me. My distress was much more fundamental than that. And I had absolutely no means to express myself. Now I know, in retrospect, that I forgot to wonder, life became like, like a 2d movie. Everything was flat and sterile. And I knew that I was not seeing life in its full depth. Everyone just told me that I was just being too sensitive, and I just had a tough knuckle. My feet healed eventually, after many years of pain, but the yearning, the psychological pain, the yearning for the unknown. That never left me up until iPhones and the wonder that I had as a child in the woods, the yearning for that, that that never left me. I felt really vulnerable during that time. When you're 12 years old and being carried around, you just feel awful.
And the only way I knew out of this situation was to take charge. My mom taught me when my dad taught me wonder my mom taught me discipline, and that I could do whatever I want to do if I really imply myself. So I took charge. And as a teenager, I started to convert this yearning for the unknown into yearning for material goods. Because I believed what the adults around me taught me. I thought that solution is simply in power, fame and fortune. So with about 13, I decided that I wanted to be a famous actress. And when I decided something I very much see it through. I was about 13 or 14 When I started auditioning and it took me many years of rejection until I started being cast for TV shows. First I had tiny little one line roles in crime shows, but slowly, slowly over the years got more involved than was 19 or 20, I finally had my breakthrough. I was cast as a main character, terrible, but very famous soap opera on a major channel in Germany. It is still on TV today, after some 20 years. And every once in a while they do reruns of episodes in which I played. I stayed on that show for about two years or two and a half years. My life looked great. I was going to the studios every morning. So you drive into the studios and our fans waiting at the gate and you're getting autographs. And you go into the studio, you go to the makeup, you have your own makeup artist, you have someone for your hair, you have someone for your clothes, you're really pampered. I had, I had fame and fortune. I was quite famous for German standards, not for Hollywood standards. But for German standards. I was quite famous, which meant that being a public was difficult. I was recognized everywhere. And you know, it may look really nice from the outside. But when you're buying underwear, you don't want people to stare at you or take pictures of you while you choose your underwear. You even when I traveled abroad I was recognized by German tourists. And even though it's a tiny country, those German tourists are everywhere.
I spend my evening with a lot of celebrities and hip parties. I went to movie premieres and excuse the name gobbing but sort of give you a sense of who the people were that I hung out with at that time. So I went to the movies with Harrison Ford, with Drew Barrymore, with Cameron Diaz. And I even met for his party for his first album, Justin Timberlake. These were the people I hung out with, every weekend, it was a really, really cool and exciting time. Eventually, I left the soap opera, to try to jump off the soap opera image and make it too real TV real shows, and acted in a few crime shows here and there. And then I was cast as a main character for a movie. And my goal had always been to see myself to see my name in the credits on a movie theater screen, and not just anywhere. But at the top of the movie credits. The premiere of that movie was when I was 25. I finally made it on a movie screen. I was sitting in the front aisle with the producers, the other actors during the premiere, I was so proud. And I was so miserable. I was supposed to be happy. That's what I expected. And that's what everyone told me. I wasn't. The yearning was still there. And I just felt completely, utterly defeated. So I called my manager the next day after the premiere, and I said that I wanted out. And this was, of course, a huge disaster given that we had a lot of promotion to do for the movie, and all the contracts that I was involved in. But I was done. I wanted out. I blew all my contracts, one of which was with Sony Music. Because I had produced and recorded some of the songs that were in the movie. It was a huge mess lawyers, I blew all the contracts. The movie won 25 international awards, and I didn't care. I actually only just found out that they won 20 that the movie won 25 awards, because in preparing for this talk, I looked it up on Wikipedia. It has been 15 years since then, I am not recognized on the streets anymore. Especially not with my new hairstyle. But every once in a while my mom or friends call me to tell me that there was a rerun of something on TV. So I left the entertainment industry and decided that I wanted to do something more down to earth. So I went to law school. I studied law in Germany. I started working at PricewaterhouseCoopers in the legal department. And then I won the Green Card for the US in the lottery. So the US gives away 55,000 green cards every year through a lottery. You play it once a year, and then you wait about a year until you receive the news that you either want to either wanted or you didn't. So I had just started working as PricewaterhouseCoopers and all of a sudden, I've won the Green Card. So I very much wanted to go to the US psych a little fed up with Germany. Not because Germany is not a great place to live, but I just I just didn't see myself there. I wanted to go to the US. So I decided to become a lawyer in New York. I had to study law again. I had to take the bar exam again in New York. I became an admitted as a lawyer in New York. And I quickly realized that I felt just as shitty as a I always felt my life was my life is pretty darn amazing. I am very proud of my accomplishments. But I was unfulfilled. I was suffering amidst this wonderful, amazing life of mine. And not only was a suffering, but I felt terribly guilty about feeling this way, I felt so ungrateful for all the luck I have in this life, let alone I was I was healthy, a beautiful wife and beautiful apartment in New York City. It was just wonderful. And I just felt like a complete honesty, complete shithead I still didn't understand that life was trying to teach me a lesson. So I changed again and said, okay, it must be some other thing, I have to do something else. So I decided that rather than practicing law, I will be an entrepreneur. So I build a website, a social network for international lawyers. And by build, I mean that I designed it, and I coded the entire network by myself. I taught myself to code over the summer, and build the it's the entire network, something like a mix between Facebook and LinkedIn. But just for international lawyers who were studying in the United States, I promoted the website. I don't know how many members eventually had. But after two years, I was bought out by a big company.
And they were headed, I was bought out, I got the money. And that was exciting for about five minutes. And then again, I was lost and sad. So I changed again says, Okay, I'm going to start writing, I'm going to become a writer, and I'm going to publish books. So I published three books. And eventually, I stopped chasing procedure money. And I said, You know what, I'm just gonna get a plain old job at a law school and just settled out. So I got a really good position with great brand of benefits at Brooklyn Law School. Part of my job entailed that I had to travel the world to recruit students. And I really travelled to create great praise places all over the world that was basically gone every month. But if that still didn't satisfy me, so this time, was before the pandemic, maybe 2019, about 2018. I was at my wit's end, I was, I was at my end, I moved heaven and earth over, over over again. And I was successful under standard standards that society gives gives you my parents were proud, my family was proud. And I was even envied by other people. But I was just so so miserable. And what was even worse is that I had no idea what to do. Because I thought, I can't keep going on like this mean, what on earth am I supposed to do more. So, in my desperation, I started looking into various religions. So I was, I grew up as in the tradition, Roman Catholic, since my mom comes from the south of Italy. But again, we were never really religious. It was just more traditional. And my grandmother is very, very religious. She goes to church every week, and you see all the crosses in her apartment, and my grandma and I are very, very close. So Christianity was always a part of me. So naturally, I started looking into Christianity, Christianity first. And then I looked into Judy with Judaism because Tony, my wife is, is Jewish. And we even spoke to a rabbi, but never truly clicked. They always give me answers, just like this. And it's like that, and you have to believe this, and then all will be well, but just didn't do it for me.
So by desperation, I started learning about quantum mechanics. And that's when I slowly discovered the unknown again, there was this spark of Wonder again, if you ever want to get your mind in a twist, look at quantum mechanics. It makes no sense. It's, it's great. I started looking at the most mundane things with new eyes, quantum quantum eyes, if you will. I didn't understand anything. It was so exciting. I went from this book to that book. And somehow I ended up with a book on Zen. I really don't remember which was the first and it was not three pillars of Zen. That came much later. I just don't remember which one was the first and I read that book and had didn't understand this single thing, it made no sense whatsoever. I didn't know what they were saying it was awesome. I had countered Buddhism along the way, many, many times. For example, one producer, for I'm not sure whether it was for the, for the soap opera of the TV channel for the movie. He had given me a book he on Buddhism and he inscribed it. And he said, You should read this book. But whenever I looked into Buddhism, I was immediately turned off by the word suffering, of course, because it didn't really fully comprehend the significance of the word. But also because I was suffering. And I didn't want to hear more about it. I wanted to get away from the suffering. So I didn't want to read on suffering when I was already suffering. So I just pushed Buddhism aside, and I read quite a couple of books on Buddhism, but I was always very hesitant to go in in that direction. Before I started reading the book on Zen, I had started sitting already, at first I started just sitting in a chair on the sofa for 10 minutes. And I started sitting without having any idea of what I was doing. I never learned to meditate. I didn't have a specific practice in mind, as something I would say are focusing on my breath, breathing nothing. I used to say that said they're doing nothing or thinking anything. I didn't really want anyone barking in my ear had this and having that. I just wanted to sit in silence. It was aimless and pointless. And it was exactly what my what I needed at that moment in time and still do. In my desperation, I was naturally drawn to sitting naturally drawn to the silence. I looked into a couple of Zen centers, but it never really clicked I very much operate from from my tummy. And there are no reasons why it never clicked it just it just never really clicked until I found this beautiful place. And Tony and I are arguing who found it first. So Tony said she found the Zen Center first. I'm pretty sure I found it first, but we're still arguing about that. And I started sitting on Zoom during the pandemic, so I am a generation zoom. When it comes to the Rochester Zen Center. I started sitting on Zoom during the pandemic and after my first finding your seat with Donna, I started sitting every day at seven in the morning and seven in the evening evening. Come hell or high water. In two years, I may have missed a handful of of sittings. I did my first four day online session shortly after I started sitting maybe a week or two weeks after I started sitting in I spoke with Truman on the phone and he told me just take one round at a time. Don't think ahead, which was really great advice that I of course completely ignored. The first round was holy, this is fantastic. I love it. And about 20 seconds later, oh my god. What am I doing here? I had set up my my apartment. So we were fortunate enough to have two places one in the city and one house in the Hudson Valley. And so I went to the Hudson Valley to completely isolate myself for for for online sessions. I had a pretty strict schedule besides the sitting schedule. I didn't have TV or my phone was was shot I wasn't allowed to read or write. The only thing I was allowed to do was clean the house which Tony really very much loved. And Tony stayed behind in the city. And so the first sessions that I did with the brightest Zen Center, I was completely isolated in the woods of the Hudson Valley and it was an intense, intense, intense experience. I'm very actually very grateful for those sessions. They they were fantastic.
I had my first dokusan With Roshi at this first online four days if she was really nervous. I didn't know what dokusan was. And I was nervous because I feared that when I talked to him, that he would start giving me answers and tell me how things are. And I really did not want answers. I did not want him to tell me anything. And of course he didn't tell me anything. As you know sometimes we frustrating. You wish the teachers would throw you a little bone but teachers good teachers in their infinite compassion they let you sit in the dark, all alone. The most beautiful place to be when I start sitting, I feel like this young girl in the woods again. I am completely in the dark. I am not knowing you Not understanding. I am just wondering, I am questioning intensely with my whole being. What is this? What is this? I don't have anything anymore. All I have left is my Wonder. directed at nothing for no reason. And now my life has depth. That's infinite depth. I am this tiny little girl with a very, very long hair down to my ass. Asking what is this? And I'm not asking with my mouth, I'm asking with my entire being. I'm not a famous actress anymore, or Director of International Programs, or a lawyer. I am no one. I know nothing. And I am so happy. Not knowing not knowing makes me smile. I spent a month training last July here at the center. And after my first inperson seven day sesshin in July last year, I knew what lay ahead. And Tony knew right away when she saw me after being apart for one month at the train station in Albany. I picked her up there. In the car ride home to New York City. She said we are moving to Rochester aren't we? And she said, we're going to do this so that you can devote yourself. She said we're going to move to Rochester so that you can devote yourself to the Dharma, the center into practice.
We sold all that we owned so that we can collect all the money together. Tony quit her job. She works at Fordham Law School in the city. And she had to quit her job so that she can be with me here. I had quit mine already. I was so done with it. And we moved up here within two months. So in November, we arrived here. We still trying trying to find our way through this, the training schedule and Tony quitting her job and trying to find her new footing in this new life. But he didn't really make a decision to come Well, here we are, we almost simply we simply acknowledged a fact. And now I'm in training since since January. There is an openness in me that I haven't had maybe 31 years. And there is this intense love for all of you. Oh my god, I love you all so very much. And this coming from the Germans woof. They really mean some something. We are all pretty blessed sitting here and we all have so so much. But if we had nothing else, we will always have the question. What is this? The question is the answer. I leave you with one of my favorite quotes. From Einstein. They say it's from Einstein. I'm not sure if it really is from him. But let's say it's from Einstein.
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all signs. He to whom this emotion is a stranger who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in aw is as good as that his eyes are closed. And this is how I came to the path and I think we have plenty of time for questions. Should you should you have some? Questions or comments? Please don't be shy. Wayman And thank you for sticking with us for a long time. Wonderful. Yes, it is. That's the That's the plan. So well, we don't have much options now. Because, you know, we, we sold everything, we quit our jobs. So we're pretty much committed. But we're committed much more than that. It's not just because our life changes we're committed because we both want to be here. Tony wants to be here for me, obviously. And I want to be here. I want to be here for the Zen Center. We don't know what's going to happen in the years to come. Of course, you never really know. But for today, I wake up every morning, and I just feel so so happy to come here training, even though I'm very tired, and just just do this work. It has more meaning than anything I've ever done in my life. And you saw that I've done a lot. And it's the practice but wow, it's the people. It's the people. Oh, my God. It's those beautiful, beautiful, beautiful people. You Wayman.
Deseret another question, how do you balance your relationship with Tony, I know you're both committed. But this is a balance now that we move away from the total monastic to be more than they are. And it's a question that comes up for families who would like to practice but our children? So what is your balance? For your way?
Way? Wait. Yeah, thank you for asking that arrow. Because not everything is so easy as I may may have made it sound. We struggle we've had in the last months, a few moments where I don't want to say where we fought, but where we had discussions about how do we keep our relationship going? How do we keep a wonderful caring marriage, while at the same time pretty much devoting everything I have for the Zen Center. And it is quite difficult. And we're still trying to figure that out. We're sort of trying to take one step at a time. I have actually asked Roshi for an adjustment in the schedule. So I can spend one evening more at home. And one day during the day at home on Saturdays, because Tony works still works at Fordham, so she doesn't have off on Monday. And because I'm not on staff, I'm just a trainee Roshi was very understanding. And Sensei were very understanding and open to that. We still have to figure it out. I am an optimist, I know it will work because we both want to make it work. But we also know that it's going to be a little bit of trial and error in the next few months. To make it work, as much as I'm devoted to this place, there is no doubt about it. I love my wife very much. And she deserves to have the life that that that she wants to have as well. It's not just about what I want
was the visit with your mother Ben. Cool.
Thank you, Keith. Yeah, that has been interesting. So my family turns out things that are in the cult, which I thought that they would think that and they were quite worried actually. So they were trying to figure out okay, how do we determine whether, whether she is indeed an account called How would you know, I mean, they live across the Atlantic Ocean, they just hear, you know, the things that I say and then they create this picture of what I'm doing here. And, you know, when we step back and look at it from the outside. It looks interesting. And you know, it's so so my mom when I told her that I'm going to work at trade at the Zen Center said okay, so you're giving up your, your great job at Brooklyn Law School, and then you're going to work there and do what like, Oh, Mom, I'm gonna work in housekeeping. It's great. And so it's what do you good housekeeping? You know, like clean the toilets and do the laundry set up. Okay. So now she's here and we went to Chapin Mill. I showed her Chapin Mill, and she's starting to open up a little bit, but she's very careful. She's she's just afraid. She she doesn't know much about Buddhism. She doesn't know much about practice. She's She's very much in the Christian tradition. And anything outside of that is very, very scary. But at the very least, she just, she just lets me lets me do that to go along the path, but she has both eyes wide open. So I'm gonna bring her here to auto park in the next few days so that she can meet Keith, lovely Keith and everyone else here. And I'm sure over the years to come, my family will come down and we'll realize that just the same person as I was before, maybe a little less bitchy, and I think everyone would be happy about that
you said that you went into quantum mechanics. And you read a book first. Would that happen to be the Tao of physics? No, actually yet came
much later. Now, so I started to be really smart about it. And I read a thing. I started reading a textbook on quantum mechanics. Yeah, I didn't know what I was reading. It made no sense. But I actually I think I went so overboard with it because I didn't want to understand anything. I actually, I was so fascinated about this topic that Tony wrote to one of the physicists. He's very famous. It's not Neil deGrasse Tyson, but another one who works at Columbia University. And because I was so obsessed with it, she wrote to him and said, would you have 10 minutes to spend with my wife to talk about quantum mechanics and the universe? And the Secretary wrote back from Columbia University and said, Well, unfortunately, he doesn't have time to talk about the universe. What's his name? Forgot. And then he said, she said, here are two VIP tickets for a talk that he gave in the city. And so we went to that talk. That was all about quantum mechanics per Tony had to sit through it for two hours. But I read The Tao of physics much later, much much, much later, but I read that and I read also the the dancing wooly masters
I am the lucky one you have questions? I just want to say I'm glad you're here yeah, I'm really glad your parents were team. So I guess we're reciting the four vows