Hello, everyone, thank you so much for joining me for another episode of the More Than You See podcast hosted by me, actor, filmmaker mental health advocate Deborah Lee Smith. Every Monday, I come to you to share some resources, have a conversation, and generally just dive into all sorts of topics around mental health. I am not a licensed practitioner or therapist, but just a woman exploring my own mental health journey and sharing it with you, my listeners. My hope is that this podcast brings you some joy, some understanding and some tools so that you can build your own mental health toolbox.
Hello, everyone. Thank you again so much for joining me for the episode last week with my friend Sara Tomko. If you didn't listen, I highly recommend that you do. We discussed a lot of really incredible topics from being true to yourself in the entertainment industry, the importance of having some kind of routine for yourself, before your life gets crazy and you know, doing doing things even when you're feeling good that will help you persevere when you're feeling bad. And we also dove into some different conversations about generational trauma, and how that is both based on science as well as kind of dipping our toes into the woowoo side of things a little bit as well. So again, I strongly recommend that you go back and listen to it. I am going to talk a little bit, some little tidbits about it today. But nothing beats the full episode. So go and check it out. I want to give a very special shout out and thank you to my amazing editor for this season of the podcast, Jen, thank you, you are incredible. And I could not do it without you.
So one of the things that I want to highlight today is actually my own experience with spirituality and the connection between science and the more like, woowoo mystical side of things. Now, if you would have met me a few years ago, I did not dabble at all in anything close to mystical. We're just gonna go with woowoo. Because I feel like a lot of people know what that is. And it just works.
So a couple years ago, I definitely was nowhere near any of that I really didn't even know what it was. And it wasn't until I actually went to Bali a couple years ago with a very good friend of mine, who was really into the connection to the earth, the importance of understanding the cycle of the moon and how that affects us as people, that I really started to understand how we as people are part of this huge universe. I think that sometimes it's so easy to get focused on us as individuals and not really think about what place we have in the world. Like we may think about, you know, what we're doing on a day to day basis in order to contribute to our jobs, to our families, to our relationships, etc. But I don't think that we necessarily consider us just being alive, just us as people, we are a huge contributing factor to what makes up this world makeup that we live in. And that's something that I really started to dive into when I was in Bali. And it's something that I am continuing to explore today.
And this goes along with something that you know, Sara really talked about was this idea of our past generations, like people, you know, our family members from years and years and years past. Even if you don't necessarily believe in regeneration or past lives or being you know, reborn in some way, there still is just on a base scientific level, the fact that our emotions, our reactions to what's going on in the world do get trapped in the DNA of who we are. And that actually does very clearly get passed from generation to generation. I mean, this is what you know, when they talk about breaking the cycle, or, you know, even even when you talk about the physiology of a person, which is one of the key components of mental health, and how the physiology of one person could be so strongly influenced by your parents. And this is, this includes if your parents have an addiction problem, you are more likely to also have an addiction problem It doesn't even necessarily mean to like drugs or alcohol, it could mean to something else. And it's just that like addictive personality, some people are just like have a stronger addictive personality.
And when you think about it, it really makes sense. Because, again, addiction is - all goes back to our base, hormone and chemicals that are happening in our body. So for example, with social media, when we, you know, like when you have a "like", or a comment or something on social media, that sends a little tiny dose of serotonin to your brain going like, Oh, this makes me feel good, this is happy. And when you increase the amount of that flooding your body on a daily basis, your body can actually start to adapt to that higher level of likes and comments, etc. And then it just wants more.
This is why we have, you know, sugar cravings, why so many companies create their product specifically so that we want more and more and more, and they are preying on the fact that our body is just going to respond. It's like, you know, the Pavlovian response with, you know, dogs, which I'm sure that you've heard of before, if you haven't, the very quick thing is... there was a researcher who did a bunch of studies with dogs. And basically what he would do is he would ring a bell and then feed the dogs, give them a treat. And so then after a while, as soon as the bell was rung, the dog's mouths started to water, even if they weren't actually going to get food, because their body was reacting and going, Oh, I need saliva in order to digest the food that I'm about to receive. And so the body started to react. It's the same thing when it comes to like, you know, Darwinism and evolution, like all of those things.
The base idea behind all of this is the fact that our bodies adapt to our current environments, and whatever is stimulating us at the time. So when you know, Sara talked very openly about the fact that she went to see a shaman friend of hers, who told her, you know, you have a lot of anxiety and stress in your life, because someone like, there's past trauma in your life that has to do with someone being murdered. And Sara, as she explained on the podcast was like, well, it's no like, absolutely not, that's not something I remember, etc. But then when she went and talked to her family, she realized that her great, great, great grandfather had actually been murdered by an axe. So like many generations ago, but the fear and the anxiety that was specifically around that kind of trauma had permeated into other members of her family who had experienced that who had seen that murder happen. And that passed down the generations and eventually rooted itself in her.
Now, of course, there's so many different ways that we interpret trauma that we react to trauma, but the base understanding of that is the fact that like, there is some real science behind all of the woowoo stuff. And I think that's something that we just kind of touched the surface on, on last episode, but I just thought it was so incredible and important. And I am just so excited to continue exploring that world because I think that I personally, you know, don't necessarily have a strong religious background, I am Jewish, I'm very happy that that is my religious identity, but I do think that there's still a lot of room for other spiritual and mystical elements to enter my life and to, you know, help me learn and to help me understand my place in the world. And I think that that is, you know, something that I'm really excited to dive into more. I would love if anyone else has a perspective on their own experience with mysticism and spirituality and all that kind of stuff. please reach out. I would love to hear your thoughts.
And then the second thing that I just want to very quickly touch on that I thought was just the most amazing part of the episode last week was...Sara, talking about coming to terms with who she was in Hollywood and what her place was in Hollywood. You know, early on in the episode, she talked about how when she first came to LA, she basically would try and fit herself into a box. She would look at, you know, what was casting like what people were expecting, and this is a common, this is a common thing - this is something that I'm still working through - that she would look at it and be like, Okay, I'm going to try to Be inside this box because that is what people want me to look like to be like to act like etc. But as she starts to get more comfortable with herself as she went through her own trauma when it came to her divorce, and just being a person in this wonderful city of Los Angeles, she began to realize that her real job as an actor, and as a creative was to take a box, paint the box how she wanted to paint it, and then present it to someone else. And if they didn't like the way that she had painted and decorated, and put sparklies and googly eyes on her box, then clearly that box that present was not for that person, they were not able to receive that.
And I think that that's what's just so incredibly important. Especially because as we explained on last episode, Sarah is really starting to "hit it", quote, unquote, like big time like this, this show that she's on Resident Alien is truly it's such a great show, I see it going on for so many seasons, I think this is really going to catapult her to a new level of, you know, fame. And it is this character of Asta is Sara, like she, of course is acting, she of course, is inhabiting this other person, but at the core at the essence, this character is her. And I can tell you that because I know her and she's amazing. But it's, I think it's just so important to know that all you have to do is show up and be yourself. And if someone else is not willing or not able to see you as your amazing self, then that's for them. That's their issue that's has nothing to do with you.
I really, as I said, I just really hope that you all got something important from this episode. I know that every time I talk to Sara, I come away and feel a little bit more sure of myself but also have a greater desire to dive in deeper into who I am. What makes me tick, what I want in life. And I hope that that episode gave you some of the same, you know, good feelings.
Again, please share this podcast with anyone who might resonate with this, please rate and review and subscribe and all of those wonderful things. It really does help spread the word of mouth. This week is a holiday week, so I hope that you do something fun with your family and friends. Please know that you and everyone around you is more than you see. Be kind to yourself this week. Thank you so much for listening. I will see you next week.
