S3 E5 - 4:21:21, 3.56 PM
8:05PM Apr 21, 2021
Lee Skallerup Bessette
Everyone, welcome back to another episode of all the things ADHD
Nice, awesome. That one came through, it only took but our third recordings
the season together.
So I was about to say I'm not even naming the episodes anymore, because I always end up splitting them into two. So I'm like, whatever. I don't know what number this is at this point, but it is our third recording session. I'm one of your co hosts, Lee Skallerup Bessette.
And I'm another one of your co hosts, Amy Morrison.
And so today, we're going to talk about rest. Which is something that I think people with ADHD in particular struggle with, because our kind of rest looks so much different than everybody else's. And how do you what and what might look like rest isn't actually resting a lot of cases because our brains never shut off,
right? Like ever.
Yeah. And like, and on the other hand, too, there's a difference between like, resting, which is like recuperative and restorative and like catatonia, which is like a 2048 bricks binge, right? Where you just like you evacuate your personality from your brain and time disappears. It's not actually resting because resting is kind of like it's not the absence of activity, right? It is, like a different kind of activity, an activity that refills the gas tank rather than depletes it, right.
Yeah. Yeah. And that's that I was I was kind of reminded of this. The timehop so helpfully reminds me you know, used to keep journals for our kids. Now we have social media. And then timehop reminds me and my daughter at one point, she's probably really young, two, three years old, not even going to school yet. And she says, to me, Mom, I have to take out my brain before I go to bed, because it won't stop. And I then it was, it was kind of funny, because I said, Okay, let's do that. Then let's take out your brain. before you go to bed. She's like, No, Mom, I can't do that with you here. Because if you're here the zipper rolling appear.
you know what? God bless? Because, yeah, you know, even quite young. Cassie knew, right, that there was something that needed to happen in between daytime and sleeping time, like, and maybe that's where we can start like, what is rest? Right? Go, go go. And like, it's easy to distinguish between, you know, the different flavors of ADHD there's like, the hyperactive client, you know, the the bouncing around the room that like, Oh, my kid never stops or like, my husband never stops is always like, you know, fixing things and banging and stuff and run around the house and never sit still, like that's one type of ADHD. And when they go to rest, those people need to stop moving. I mean, but there's the other type of ADHD to the way it presents this kind of inattentiveness and spiciness. And with those people of whom I am one, it looks like all you do is rest. How could you possibly need to rest you haven't done anything. You've just been sitting in that chair, staring out the window thinking about you should have gotten the shower an hour ago, and you haven't, why would you possibly need to rest but I would say regardless of whether you have the like, more classically hyperactive version of ADHD, or the more classically inattentive version of ADHD, simply having ADHD is exhausting. And rest is different from that.
Well, and I think that it's, I mean, I was the one who would just go go, go, go go until I collapsed and then I would collapse. And like sometimes literally, when I was growing out my teenager in particular, my mom would find me like on the floor in my room.
Just couldn't make it to the bed. It was too far.
Yeah. It was just like I collapse. And I've always had trouble sleeping. Like just like, generally just have always had trouble falling asleep. staying asleep hasn't been a problem but like actually falling asleep at night. Is is terrible. But yeah, I mean, that's
I also thought of the picking your brain out. Yeah, I
know. Right? Oh, no, the best. I went out I don't know if you saw this but I was on the attitude Facebook group, the Add Etude Facebook group and was asking about CBD to help sleep when I was just like, I just want to know if people and then I got the really helpful advice from someone that I should just think boring
thoughts. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah.
I was like, Do you even have ADHD?
Yeah, none of my thoughts are boring. And I'm having seven of them right now. Right?
Yeah, it's having boring thoughts. Yeah, no. Thank you. Anyway, where was I going with this? No, the the other thing is that that I'm I actually took yesterday and today off of work, like I said, sick days at work, we have, we just have time off, we don't have sick or vacation. It's just all the same. It's just time off. So I'm planning a trip with my daughter this weekend, but she's got to go to school today. She's about to get surgery. So she's gonna miss some school. It's not a big deal. She's fine. But she's going to miss some school. And so I was like, Well, no, you can't miss school on Friday as well check in is only at like two o'clock in the afternoon anyways, you know, go to school, I want to do my podcast. But I was like, I'm going to take I'm going to take all day Friday off though. And then I'm also I looked at my calendar, and I'm like, you know what, I got nothing on Thursday. I'm like, I'm just gonna take this day off to so that it's just like, and I never do that. I ever do that. Like, I have to be so sick.
To take a sick day. Yeah, like, I don't think planned, right? Like, it's like, We're going, we're going on vacation. And even that's not restful, right? Because it's like, No, no,
it's a family to do all the things. Yeah. So
this strikes me as being very unusual for you actually, to plan to take a day of rest, like, because I know you like to plan and you have like, the whiteboards and the multiple calendars, and you're busy all the time. And I get tired, just contemplating how much you get done. But I mean, I imagine like with the difficulty going to sleep similarly to that, that when you are used to having a really full plate all the time that it might be quite counterintuitive, actually to think about what are the things I can take off my plate? What have I had an empty plate? Yeah, for a day, that must feel very different. Yeah, very.
I mean, it's, it's a strange sort of situation, because it was like, you know, again, there's that often that ADHD kids or women we've talked about this before are seen as lazy, right. And so, you know, you sort of internalize that, and, you know, you have to, like, I'm going to work so hard to prove to everyone that I'm not actually lazy, and that I can do the work. And so there's something and, you know, I come from a family where it's sort of the, the work hard mentality, right, if you work really hard, and you know, and, and that's what you do, and you only take a sick day, if you're really, really sick, right? Like, it's, that's, you know, um, and so, you know, so the idea of doing it just is fairly foreign. Right. And I mean, even last summer, I said, and this was, you know, during the height, and we were preparing for the fall. And we were told, we probably wouldn't be able to take any time off over the summer, just because we were so busy. And then they said, Okay, well, we can take a week and I and I even said to my husband, I said, we've got to go somewhere. And we went to a beach and Airbnb and socially distant, we were very safe. But I said, I'm like, I can't just and part of it was also just where we were in the pandemic at that point. But like, I was, like, if I sit at home, like I might as well just be at work at work. Right. Right. Like, right, right. I hadn't taken up sewing yet. So maybe it's something different. And I taken up sewing already. Yeah, but like, but like, I was literally, you know, it took I couldn't take the time off for myself, I just like I we need to be doing something in order for me to justify taking off of work.
So you made like, a good experience for the kids, right? Like you, and you could plan and things that you could do. And it was like, go to a second location. And now it's an event.
Yeah, exactly. And I mean, you know, part of it was very restful, because I love the ocean. And just, it's there's something very restorative for me about being, you know, on the beach by water, you know, even if it's too cold to swim, like just just being there hearing the ocean, there's something getting my toes in the sand. There's something really restorative about that. As well, which is why we're going to a beach this weekend as well. But, um, but But yeah, and so like, just to be able to say like, it's a big for me now to say, Okay, well, I'm just gonna take two days off. And, you know, part of me justified it in the back of my brain saying like, well, this guy got to get ready for the trip. And so that'll give me time to
pack. Right rushed.
I didn't none of that though.
I did not have that I just like binge Treme
amazing. So like, it will not surprise you to know that my situation is the complete opposite of your situation, right is that it's very difficult to get me from a stop position to a start position, right? That I have the kind of inattentive ADHD that I easily get overwhelmed when I have too many things to do and then reduce myself to a state of catatonia, right in the general course of things. And then if I was going to take two days off, my inclination would not be like I'm going to fill this with, you know, productive activities. It would be to just lie down on my floor. Right and not have to think about it just basically give myself permission to be catatonic right, which is not, for me, actually restful, because it is a continuation by other means of the thing that is giving me difficulty in the first place, which is an inability to get started on anything that even if I'm like, I'm going to take these days off from work and I will not fail to do work tasks. I will take these days off and I will fail to do restorative activities for myself. So I'm still not actually listening.
So what are some of the restorative activities that you do like that? what's what's that happy medium between like, go go go and catatonic
mechanic. Like I've,
I've been trying to develop hobbies again, right? Like we talked about this a little bit like you're sewing, and I have been knitting and I've been playing the piano and my sister and I just got, we're having a virtual date. Tonight, my sister and I over FaceTime, to start work on our paint by numbers set that we ordered from Michael's craft store for $15 each, because I haven't ever done that, and it looks fiendishly difficult, actually, it's 28 different colors and like 3000 spots to fill in, and my sister was like, are you gonna be able to see that with your bad eyes? I was like, Oh, my God, I don't know. So for me, restorative activities are ones in which I am conscious that the time is passing, right. So I'm not like, blissed out on my phone where four hours disappeared. I'm like, great. I can go to bed now. Right? It's where Yeah, I am. That's me
every night, right?
Right. So for me, something that is restful, or restorative is one where I have like, intentionally chosen an activity that serves no purpose other than my own pleasure. I mean, it can be a challenging activity, like, you know, playing the piano, I just download a recording of this professional pianist playing one of these studies that I used to know and I'm trying to learn again, and I know I want to die, like, seven times faster than me and every articulated, okay, but it's still fun to do it. And when I spend two hours doing that, I'm conscious of having done something that time has passed, like and you know, because with ADHD sense of time, too, right? You can be like I've been in I've been waiting to in this bathroom lineup for seven hours, and it's been 35 seconds or like, I just got off work five minutes ago, but it's actually 11pm. Right. So I guess for me, restful activities allow me to sort of reset my clock so that I am conscious of each minute passing as something that lasts one minute and I am engaged in an activity that is absorbing and non catatonic and non frenetic. So sometimes sitting in the backyard, on a chair, and my gravity lounger leaned back looking up into my maple tree where I can see the squirrels fighting, like I can do that for 45 minutes, and now it's actually restful, so I'm not wasting time, I've made a choice to watch the squirrels and I'm enjoying it. And I feel time passing as I'm sitting there, I feel, you know, as the shadows move away from my feet, and the sun comes up on my feet to get up and move my chair so I don't get a sunburn, like, so I don't have to be doing things I could be baking or I could be watching the squirrels or I could be sitting on the beach looking at the beach as long as I'm thinking to myself, I am fully present. Yeah, in this moment, which it probably for inattentive people as well as hyperactive people is something we don't get along, you have to be follow. And,
and that's something I noticed because I mean, I have been quote unquote, productive. So I spent the last two three days in before I took time off work sewing, and I managed to sell like three dresses. And yesterday, I sold an entire dress, finish the day after like, I've posted three dresses this week, and my friends on social media, you're like,
how are you doing this, and
I was like, This feels like a lot of dresses leave
it as it is. But the thing that I noticed is is again, that that feeling of being present, right? And it's, I have to I have to concentrate on the sewing, right? Because I have to focus in on it. And there's nothing else going on in my head in those moments, right where it's like I am you know, I have to make sure the stitching is straight and I'm not catching anything else. And you know, I'm not going to catch the needle on the pins and then it's going to snap and hit done which it did anyway. But like, I have to be completely present to to sell because it's not it you know, it's not something that's mechanically is one of the reasons I have a lot of trouble swimming. Like I love coaching it and I still love swimming but like there's there's about a week where swimming is hard and I have to focus on it right and I got to remember Under the catch, and I've got Okay, where am I engaging my muscles and all that kind of stuff. But after about a week, then I can the autopilot turns back on again, right. And my mind is just elsewhere. And I'm just like, you know, it hasn't been hasn't been an hour hasn't been you know how long like it I just completely gone. And of course, I'm not, I don't swim on a master swim team, there's no one giving me a set or a practice, at least that would give me something to kind of focus on. And I tried to do that for myself, right? It's like, you will do the sets and everything like that. But at the end of the day, like,
what was that five? I don't remember. I wasn't doing Yeah,
yeah. And so like, so that's, it's one of the one of the reasons why I have trouble getting back in the pool, because I know, it'll feel good. You know, it'll hurt and then it'll feel good. And then it'll just be like, Oh, I'm stuck in my own head again, like, I'm not noticing, and I'm not. And, you know, maybe now that I'm more conscious of it, it helps. But like, that's, you know, what I used to be able to do in swimming. I'm doing like now in sewing where it's just kind of get in
the zone? Well, you know, what you're describing is the work of mindfulness meditation, right is like when you're swimming and you like, wait, what was I doing? Right? Like, that's the purpose of mindfulness meditation is for you to notice. into my stroke, I am, you know, my, my knees are too bent, or I'm making too much splash, or I lost track of how many laps I've done. I mean, the purpose there is to practice bringing the attention back to the task. And maybe that's what what rest, like maybe is elegant, is really cheap, like, I will not knock sleeping, like because sleeping is important. And I don't know why. But my body is so tired lately, like I'm running about 40 kilometers a week, in a really sustainable way with my coach who's working with me. And so it's nice to have that like sort of physical tiredness in my body. But I think I also have this kind of like emotional and probably cognitive exhaustion from the pandemic and the term and like, my kids, school just got like, canceled again, indefinitely. So now they are going to be here with me. And I'm like traveling with that. But like, every morning, now my alarm goes off. And I'm like, like being dragged up from the bottom of the ocean, like I just don't even know. And then on the weekends I sleep and I've been sleeping in, like until 10am. And I wake up and I'm like, What? So like, there's, there's like rest too sometimes, like your body just needs to stop for a bit and to let ourselves sleep. And again, like maybe sometimes we don't sleep because we're like too wrapped up in like, you know, running around reorganizing the entire kitchen at 11pm. And like now's the time, we want to order the Christmas cards for next year. We're going to set up a photo shoot for like the pads for the Christmas card. Like go to bed. Right like so sometimes we don't go to bed because we're too busy. And sometimes we don't go to bed because we're too busy playing 2048 bricks that we haven't put our pajamas on or brushed our teeth yet, right. Like sometimes you just need to go to bed but sometimes you have to be there.
Yeah. Last night, cuz it's just my daughter and I right now this is my husband and my son. They're on their own trip. And so last night like literally 1030 my daughter comes downstairs. She's like you busy right now? And I'm like, no, it's No not really. 1030 at night I'm bingeing Tremaine putting together pattern pieces like of course you are.
But it's so she's like, well, she just got this new board game off a Kickstarter based on these YouTubers that anyways. Yeah, I know. I know. It is like the most internet thing ever. And she's like, well, I want to try our new board game. I'm like, it's 1030. At night. She's like, Yeah, but what else are we going to do it like, any other time, right? But at 1030 at night, this is when she's like, Alright, let's do this. And so it hadn't even been open yet. So she had to like, set it because it's one of those like, really complicated board games. So he says,
you have to break out,
you have to set it all up. And you've got to do all these things. And so I'm sitting there finishing my finishing cutting out my pattern. I'm here like swearing from the kitchen.
She's like, no, the rule book is like 12 pages long. There's all of these sorts of things. And then of course, there's all of this interjecting because she's like,
Oh, I remember this challenge on the YouTube series. I was watching and this is when this character dies. And I'm like, do I need to know that? She's likely Yes, yes. No, you just need to roll higher than a nine. I'm like, Okay, good. Thanks. All right. And I told her I said, Honey, you have to go to school tomorrow, and I have to register you for camp. So I have to be at least up by 10am I said we're gonna put a hard stop on this game at 1230
Oh my god. 1230 I don't have enough pumpkin.
Oh, I mean, I was like it. She's like, Mom, could you at least pretend to be enthusiastic about this. I'm like, honey on it's on. 30 No, yeah. I'm like, No, I'm like this is I'm like, I'm playing with you. And we got like punch drunk laughter at one point. So it was it was fun, and I'm glad we did it. But I was just like, why? Yeah, this is, but this is when she's like all of a sudden she has already Is it like you said 1030 night, she's like, she'll come downstairs, she's like, I'm gonna make edible cookie dough. Okay, and I'm like, it's 1030 she's like, so
there's a certain way like in which, you know, part of being like healthily adapted to your own ADHD is knowing, like, in general what your patterns are, and what times of day that you are most likely to be productive and like trying to accommodate yourself in those ways. But there are other ways in which I think sometimes we undermine our own rest, and therefore our happiness and productivity by allowing ourselves access to what we know, are not our best behaviors to win again, like, I'm going to get really excited about this thing at 10pm. Right, I could put it in another room and say, is something I have to look forward to tomorrow. I'm like, I'm just gonna look at it for five minutes, but you're not know, right? Like, I know the things. I know the things that I do not allow myself to do at certain times. Because I know that I'm fooling myself to think that I'm going to have self control about it or to think like, if I open this email now, I'm not going to sleep tonight. So guess what? I'm not opening this email. I've managed to master my curiosity and that way, right? Or my anxiety about what's in this email? And like, yeah, it's gonna make me anxious, tell you what, I'm not gonna read it. Right. So. So sometimes, sometimes being sort of effective and happy in the brains that we have is about like, I'm not a morning person, I'm going to stop trying to be a morning person. Right. But sometimes, it also involves, like, understanding that when I say I'm not a morning person, it doesn't mean I should start a new project that one because I still have to get up. Yeah. Right.
Yeah. And like, and my daughter's middle school starts at 730 in the morning, like her first class is at 730. And I'm just like, you know, she's going back. And it's so funny, because she goes, she goes back to school. Well, now she's quarantining because of her ankle, and we can and all that kind of stuff, but like she was going back two days a week, and once she's done with her surgery, they're back four days a week now.
And, you know,
so that means she's on the bus at seven o'clock in the morning. And I just the the day, she was at she, we just had gotten into a routine where she would just go to bed super late, and we'd be like, Guys, you go to bed. She's like, no, when we're like, Okay, well, you know, cuz for a while, it was like, especially at the beginning of the pandemic, it's like, well, there's no schedule, like there's nothing. Senate it's just turned into a habit. And she would get home from school, and just go, right. Yeah. Like she's just feel like, because you come in and swim team. All right, I guess not. All right. So and so it'll be really interesting once it's like back to four days a week, and she's recovering from her ankles. So I'm hoping that like, it'll kick in and be like, you know, at least I tend and then there's my son, who's a total morning person gets up at six o'clock every morning like clockwork, like clockwork, but he's getting older now and like his, like, once a later bedtime. But he can't accept that he's not a night owl like his sister. Right? And, um, and, and what he doesn't realize because he's like, my bedtimes at 730. Like, none of my friends have a bedtime at 730. I'm like, No, your actual bedtime is like 930. Because there's a two hour process that we go through in order to get you to go to sleep at least two hours.
Yeah. And it because it's like he, you know, he goes and he takes a shower. And I thought this was funny, too. And he's like, one night I when I was talking to him in afterwards is he's like, you know, I take the shower now mom before bed, or like, why he's like, that's where I think all my thoughts that I would usually think trying to fall asleep. Like, yeah, but so he takes a shower. He takes clearly because he didn't get a lot of thoughts takes a really long shower. But okay, and then it comes down and we watch an episode. Like there's no more like handheld screens. So we watch an episode of The Muppet Show, or Bob Ross. And then he goes, and he gets a sleep Sleep story from my calm app, which is usually about a half an hour to 40 minutes. So like, by the time we actually go upstairs to like, take, take it away and say goodnight to him. It's it's 930 it's a two hour, no almost two hour process to go through where it's like, but he's like, so why can't my bedtime be 930? Because if your bedtime is 930 then it would be 1130 it would be a nightmare.
Yeah, like, that's a kind of rest too. So like my husband, God bless him, like many men do this, but he comes to bed and he like pulls back the covers. And he gets in and he scratches down and he pulls the covers back up counts backwards from three and is asleep. Yeah, right. Like that's his bedtime routine. He could be like watching the most violent movie in the world and be like, oh, bedtime and then come upstairs and fall asleep or he could be like out digging a ditch right and then be Oh, it's bad. And come in and fall asleep like, it doesn't matter. He can just, he does not need two hours of like showers and stories and a show. But I do I have a bedtime, like ritual that I that I follow and it helps me calm down. And so like, all of us, our brains need different kinds of like wine down period. And that's a way of like incorporating rest into our everyday lives, right is to know what we need to have in order to calm down enough to go to sleep or to relax, right. And we talked about in some of our pandemic episodes last spring about like my strategy of I have pajamas for when it's get into bed and watch TV time. And then I have tracksuit, right for when it is not working time, but it's not sleeping time, that'll be like making separate time or like knitting time or going for walks in the neighborhood time. And then I have like my work clothes that I put on for work. And for me, part of being able to access rest is about having these different uniforms. Because when everything takes place in my house, it's hard to make those distinctions like maybe I should be checking my email, like maybe I'm practicing the song. So like somebody I can get 1/5 as fast as the guy who did the recording that made me hate myself. But then something pings on my phone. But it's 8pm. And it's a work email. Right. I'm already in my tracksuit. So I know that I don't have to answer that email. Whereas if I'm taking a midday, you know, coffee break, and I'm practicing scales, excuse me, and the, the phone pings while I'm wearing my work clothes, it's work time, I'm going to check that email, right. So I think often for neurodivergent people, maintaining those boundaries, or making those transitions between activities requires a separate space or separate clothing or certain types of rituals like so your son has to do things in a specific order at a specific time, so that by another specific time, he will actually be cognitively neurologically ready to give asleep and and I wonder if we pay enough attention to that in our everyday lives, like maybe the reason we all feel like we need more rest is because we're so exhausted, because we haven't quite figured out how to manage our own brains on the daily so that we are not just accumulating exhaustion, day by day by day until we have a massive burnout. And then we quote unquote, take time off that we really are not really doing anything other than crisis management.
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that's a
particularly I think, for for women, right for us, too, is, you know, my, my impulse was I need to take a day off so that I could take care of stuff around the house.
Right, right before I leave before we leave on the trip.
Because that's the kind of, you know, the second shift work and all that there's no, you know, I, you know, I think I've may have taken a half day at one point to catch up on laundry, because like, it was so bad. Like, early, early when the kids were a lot younger. And yeah, and I was teaching a five, four course load and and you know, yeah,
I think there was one day where I was just like, and again, it wasn't so much that because I was teaching, I managed my teaching schedule. So I taught all my classes on the Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. So I'd have Tuesday Thursdays to write because I was still, you know, trying to do that. And then, you know, they came about one Thursday, where it's like, there's no more clean clothes in the house. And I was just like, I guess I'm gonna have to only write for half a day because I've got to do laundry.
Well, and you know, I think that happens sometimes, too, right? Where there there comes a day, occasionally where you're like, Oh, actually, this is the day that I need to take off, right? And sometimes you need to take it off and lie facedown on the floor and cry. I did that a lot after my mom died and after my friend died and did after everybody died last year. And sometimes it's like, oh, crap, like I this is my day for writing. But I can't actually read because there's like three weeks of laundry. Yeah, that's depressing my working memory like a bad tab open on my computer brain. And you know what I need to not write right now. I need to deal with this so that I can write later. So I think there's a that's another kind of rest right is the rest that you take when you realize you know what world? You got me? Yeah, right. You got me. You win. Right. I don't control this day, as my therapist says to me, like when I say like it said, I'm so enraged, because I don't have control over anything. And he's like, what if? What if deciding to relinquish control over your day was a form of enacting control? And I was like, Yeah, what are you talking about Willis? Right. It was kind of a mind bender. Sorry, deep cut different strokes. Yeah, so in that sense, like I had one of those days, was it last week, the week before time has no meaning to me anymore. I seen it online. I was like sort of tweeting like I had a big cry before I even got out of bed in the morning because like we had just entered another lockdown and like everything was going to hell and I feeling hopeless about a number of things. And I was so upset had even got her to bed yet and I had my emergency breakfast. She Which I keep next to my bed for when I'm too hungry to get out of bed, right? Which means if I don't eat something, I'm going to be wrecked. And I just lay there drinking my like, you know, meal replacement shake and crying. And I found myself like, maybe today I take the day off, right? Because I could try to push through this right now, but I'm not going to get anywhere, right? I'm just, I'm not going to get the rest I need or give myself the space to deal with these overwhelming emotions I'm having right now. And I also won't get any work done. Right? Like I don't get to choose Oh, you know, I'll deal with my emotions later. I'm going to work today. That's not how that particular day was working for me right? Like now that the emotions are like Well, we're not going anywhere you can try to grade those papers if you want but you're just going to keep crying and be really angry and then eventually going to start throwing your pens around the room right? Yeah, so like I had to your students were like, why am I paper? Why is everything so? Like Yes, fountain pen ink. So like in that moment like I had to muster like all my therapy training that I had to sort of recognize that the only reasonable decision was rest so I did you know went for a long walk did a lot of crying talked about my feelings you know painted my toenails just tried to give it space and that's the day I needed to have I didn't have to like if if I had chosen to try to work I wouldn't have processed my feelings and I would not have got any work done it was going to futile to think that I got to choose that day it probably would have resulted again in me sitting in my chair for four hours being catatonic playing 2048 bricks. Yeah. Which now every time I play, I get over a million and a half every single game takes me several days. Well is it though we because like no. To good at this game because I play it too much because I can't deal with my life. I'm not resting but I'm not working. Right?
Yep. And it's just enough like you have to you have to think just hard enough because I'm like that with my candy crush, right? Except Candy Crush has now gotten like I don't know now I'm playing now I found a new match three game which is based on the we bare bears cartoon. And they're like, why is this any My son is mystified by this. And he's like, what is like it's just a match three game and I'm like, Yes, but there's kind of like a storyline. Like No, there's not. I'm like kind of like to save Charlie was
in Brooklyn nine nine episode about this too. Right? Well, yeah, often hold gets like was it like cupcakes, so easy cupcakes. Easy cupcakes. Yeah. You're fooling yourself. If you think this is like, actually intellectually engaging, it's not your advertising yourself.
So after this episode, which was or this recording session, which was all about rest, I happen to have taken a weekend trip with my daughter, which is the inspiration for it. And unfortunately, driving home. On Sunday, we were in a fairly minor car accident in less than 20 minutes at a home is not always the way it goes. And of course, being in on late Sunday afternoon, nothing is open. And I pretty much practice what we preached in this episode, and did not have the spoons to be able to deal with my emotions about getting in a car accident with my daughter in the car with me, and the car possibly being totaled and having to deal with insurance companies and forms and all that kind of stuff that people with ADHD do so well dealing with that I said, you know what I'm taking Monday off, I can't work and push through and do all of these things that I need to do to get everything taken care of so that I have a car and everything is in place, at the very least. So I felt pretty proud of myself in all of the other emotions that I was feeling at the time that I took the day off. I either declined my meetings, rescheduled my meetings, and just said I am taking the day and I took the day and it was just a fantastic decision. I mean, I don't know how I would have gotten through that day otherwise. So. You know, rest is important. We will continue the conversation around rest next week. We still have lots of things to say about rest. This is just the first half of our conversation. And again, don't worry, or we're fine. My daughter is fine, everybody's fine. But thank you for listening. I'm ready writing on Twitter, Amy is did you work on Twitter as always, you can email us at all the things email@example.com and we love hearing from you. And you know, stay focused and rest take that day if you need it. Don't feel bad about it. You've got them. Hopefully you've got them. You should, you should take them. So you also heard the email chime in the background that's fantastic. Because I forgot to put on Do Not Disturb because ADHD. So take care of one and we'll see you next week.