S3 E13 - 6:17:21, 12.49 PM
4:52PM Jun 17, 2021
Lee Skallerup Bessette
Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of the other things ADHD podcast. Oh.
So close. So close right at the end. It
just was like, man,
we're done. Hi, I'm your co host Lee Skallerup Bessette.
And I am your co host, Amy audio feedback Morrison.
today we are going to or today and next week probably but for now today and you'll understand once we get to the topic, we're going to talk about the largely about the maximalist tendencies, that people that we have as people with ADHD, I mean, we've, we've named the podcast, all the things ADHD, and that mean from hyperbole and a half right, or just like clean all the things. But we certainly do, in a lot of cases tend to go overboard with things when we start hyper focusing when we get obsessed
with with ADHD. And I, I think we can point to this podcast itself Lee as an example of doing all the things but also at the same time doing the bare minimum, right? And yeah, that's the sort of ADHD all the things paradox is that when you and I decided we wanted to do this podcast together, we sat down, and we recorded probably two and a half hours of audio, the first No, no, four, we recorded four hours of hours about, we're like, oh, we gotta cut this down. And every time we meet to record, we're like, we're just gonna do one episode today. But then we talk so much about so many different things in such levels of detail, tracing every side quest off to its conclusion that it winds up being two and sometimes three episodes. But then, right, you we were just talking before you press record, you often find yourself on Thursday night,
it's like, oh, crap,
we have to publish a podcast tomorrow, I guess I should edit that and you like cut the episodes at a natural pause point and you record an intro. And then it's done. There is no sound balancing, there is no like, we don't have script meetings where we're talking about what we're going to do. And in fact, today's episode is brought to you by Lee and I talking with one another in the 30 seconds before we pressed record and the 30 seconds after the zoom meeting started or like, maybe we're
going to talk about too much
today, right? So we do like no PrEP is totally right. And we do very little editing, and we put it out there, right. And so that's very minimal. But the maximum is we have endless amounts of things to say. And as it turns out, like my pies, we've already collected a ton of anecdotes and shiny things that fill out whatever it is we've decided to talk about. So that that movement in between, like just barely getting it put together and oh my god, we've done way too much, I think is the space in which many ADHD people reside. And that's kind of what we want to talk about today.
Yeah, even this podcast itself, because we don't have enough things, other things going on in our lives that we're like, Sure. Let's just add a podcast to it. That sounds great. Like we can do that. Is that's not a problem. Is it? No,
I'm gonna make my Craigslist shorter. Right. Yeah, exactly, exactly. I could squeeze it in,
in all my free time. But I and so there's like, I was also thinking just about an A and again, what what made me think about this is you're writing and you're sharing how you know you met and in writing some cutting is good, right? Cutting is good, but cutting is hard. And I was thinking about my own sewing, where I've gone all in on sewing and ice. I've sewn I think 22 garments. This year so far, you know, five in the month of May, which I thought no Mays busy I got to take it easy in the month of May. And I'm gonna keep going. Right like I had literally I have no more coat hangers, I've no more room in my closet. They are hate, they're the garments are everywhere in the bedroom. Like they they move from the bed to the back of my chair back to the bed again. Because I don't have anywhere to put them.
I have you know, I cut another dress and I just put together a top pattern that's going to look cute for a whole bunch of the the the partial pieces of fabric that I have leftover from other dresses that are made out of the fabric and want to use other things for so. Yeah. But then there's also like when I'm actually sewing, it's like, hey, it's good enough,
right? Yeah. So like a huge number of garments. And you're going to keep a huge amount of fabric chunks around the house and you're gonna buy a huge amount of patterns. And I'm going to spend a huge amount of hours doing this. And then when you're actually doing it, you're going to be like, it's good enough, right? So
you don't have to him it.
Exactly. You'd rather have like 22 different dresses that you've sewn in like 24 days, right? With some errors, one error, significant error, and each of them five dresses that you've like sort of taken more care with, right? So we're really, really good at sort of like that initial energy to get the gist of things right, or to do the brain dump part or the like, blocking part of something. But when it comes to kind of refining something, maybe down to what is required, or necessary, right, that sometimes we get other people to edit the things that we tell to them, because we don't have the sort of self control to pick the one thing to say, That's right. So we say 45 things, and hopefully one of them was the right thing. And the person listening is going to be able to tell what that is right. And with your addresses, you just so enjoy starting them and having them write that you will start an enormous number of them and delight in having as many of them as possible completed, but there's a whole chunk in the middle that would require maybe a little bit more attention to detail, and self editing, where maybe you struggle and with my writing and I had been posting, I could at least tweets online right now, because the only way that I can keep writing is by imagining there's an audience. And so if I'm writing about my process of writing, that's my sort of audience proxy right now, and I just this morning, cut an 806 word, chunk out of my 14 pages, analysis of Robocop that needs to be about seven pages of analysis of Robocop. But every time I sit down, I just keep adding more details, because I have so much knowledge about the movie and yeah, like the scenes memorize, and they're so like, I'm a literary close reader, it's what I do, it means you can take one poem and write 30 pages about it, well give me a two hour movie. You know, I could produce you an entire encyclopedic series of books about each individual scene in Robocop. And I would enjoy that because I love chasing my ideas all the way to when they run out of steam by don't like choosing which ideas are necessary. For a coherent argument that has a beginning, a middle and an end, I just want to do these really impressive, incredibly detailed, close readings that are me reacting to something that's in front of me, right for 14. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of like, Well, how do I make this make sense in the context of a chapter that covers five other dystopian movies, right, that is part of a book that makes a larger overarching argument about this, right? And so there's both too much and too little. And that's sort of where I've been making jokes on Twitter about like, deletion is the greater part of valor. Part, right? It's so hard for me to cut my little ideas, I just tried to cut them while I'm trying to cut them, I have more of them. And then I add them. So I like trying to make this one chapter shorter. And it was 57 pages and 17,000 words, and then all of a sudden, it was 69 pages and 19,000 words, that's like, how, how did I make this longer? I thought I cut things and I would like cut one sentence and then add seven. Yeah, right. Astonishing. I just like overwhelmed at my own capacity to produce the raw materials have my own Yeah, scholarship, but my inability to kind of like, manage it down to
something presentable. And that's one of the biggest things because I write as well, and I've word vomit and all that. That's what has been the greatest thing about sort of going off ACC, is that as an academic very often, at least in the humanities, writing is such a solitary activity. Right. And the peer review process is so well, not not transparent. Yeah.
instead of instant gratification, yeah. Right.
Yeah. But, but also just this idea that, you know, when I submit something to the Chronicle, or I'm currently writing to textbook chapters, you know, I know it's going to editors who want to work with me and collaborate with me to make the chapter better, as opposed to like, here's a whole bunch of feedback that may or may not be useful, and according to my idiosyncratic ideas about what this chapter should be, if I had written it, you know, not that all academics would like, but like, the nature of peer review is very much set up as adversarial. It is not set up to be collaborative, right? Like, you get the an I understand the point of blind, double blind peer review, I totally get it, but it is not conducive for, you know, you get the feedback, but there's no help, no help whatsoever. Whereas,
you know, right now, I'm
getting comments on Google Docs. And, you know, my editor at the Chronicle makes changes and asked questions, and she's like, how does this sound better? And I'm like, Yes, as a matter of fact, it does. And I never in a million years. If you had said make this sound better, I would not have been able to do it. Right, but like she's like, this is just like, you know, editing and writing in a non academic or the last academic, I should say, context has been fantastic because I can, I can rely on other people to do those kinds of things that are hard for me. Right. And, and what's and what's what's great is I'm really good at the things that are hard for other people, which is to get started and just put words on paper.
Yeah, yeah, I think I have a lot of probably internalized shame about that, or right, because I think like, I'm just sitting here, doing fantastically clever, close readings of things. And then I've read 47 different academic articles about something. And then I wrote a hilarious sentence with a sustained metaphor that goes for a whole paragraph. But now it's twice as long as it needs to be and I have no idea how to fix it, right? Because that's where I, I fall down. And especially because the process is so isolating, right? So I appreciate having audiences why I love teaching so much. And I love like giving keynotes that there's questions after I love blogging and tweeting, and I love doing this podcast, because there's an immediate sense of audience like, we're going to record this today. And in a couple of weeks, or maybe this week, I don't know, it's gonna be out on the internet, and the people are gonna respond to it. And so it focuses me on the immediate goal of communication, right, where so much of other kinds of writing are about proving to a far distant audience that you're not an imposter. Like, it's not the greatest sense of audience to go into a work task with and I think that probably applies to people in in a lot of different jobs, not just writing things where, like, many of us with ADHD are really great at generating ideas, right starts 45 different things, cannot decide which four of them are worth pursuing. Stops everything right. And so I think a lot of us because those are not the problems that that neurotypical people tend to have, right? Yeah. Not like this super abundance of ideas and energy to start new things and rip the whole world apart and start over. And they kind of can plod along fairly steadily. And concretely according to like the Gantt chart of how things are supposed to get done and do not struggle, right with this sort of like getting enough done in the right kind of order. And so that those of us who in some ways feel like quite clever and competent at generating interesting ideas feel like the very easiest part of that, which is just cut some of those ideas, because you cannot pursue all of them right here. Yeah, you the easy part. And when it's not, and certainly in, in academic publishing, no one will help you with that. You have to pay for somebody. In fact, I have just hired an editor is gonna read my stuff for me, and tell me what to cut because I don't know. And there's like so much shame around. seeming like the the flighty one, right? Oh, you're all great ideas, but she'd never follow through on any of them. It's because I can't pick right or follow through on all of them to 25%. And then I ran out of word count. And now I don't know what to do. Right. So. So we're too much often in the early stages, and then not enough. At the end stages. Does that match?
Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I definitely think that that is, that's the case. And part of it, I think is, and this is something that is common for people with ADHD is we again, have trouble visualizing the finish. Right. And so they say, with kids with ADHD, you know, you have to show them a final product. Yeah, if they've never seen it before, right. And so it's not just do your project. It's here's an example of what a finished project will look like. Let's go through the steps together to get that final project. And so we have a lot of like, that's why I wrote about this is that I am lockstep into only making the garments in the fabric that I have seen them in. Oh, right. So because the Scylla gives me a picture, so like I just made a polka dot wrap dress, I became obsessed with making the polka dot wrap dress, because that's the picture that the woman is wearing on the on the cover so to speak of the envelope of the pattern is a woman in that exact dress in a black and white polka dot dress. And as soon as I saw that, I could not picture that dress in anything other than that,
right you right?
Right on I was locked in on it and so like baby duck imprinting on an image,
yeah, no, but that but all my patterns are like that where like I'm trying to learn and figure out because I can't see the final project. Right? I can't see it. So like, I'm okay. And I figured out like the different ones like I've seen enough different kinds of shirt dresses in my life. That That one's an easy one for me to see in different fabrics. Right? Right. But not all different fabrics. I can see it in solids and I can see it in pinstripes, I cannot see it in a floral, right. I can see florals in a wrap dress because I have seen lots of floral right? dresses. But but then I'll get these other fabrics. And I'm like, well, and, and I devised systems to help me sort of filter, it's like, it's a woven, it's this wide, it's this long, it is suitable for these kinds of patterns that I have. And so therefore, and then I ended up going in and being like, well, the picture shows it in a solid, so I can't possibly do it in a print,
right, so you're doing that thing, you're like, you're getting 10 million patterns with 10 million pictures on them. And then you're sort of randomly collecting fabrics. And then you're trying to match the fabrics to the things like you could be more intentional about it, right, you could be more deliberate about I want to try this, or I would imagine the final product that I want doesn't look like any of these pictures here, which is like what sewing is right? So it is a series of shapes, right? That you put together the following ways. And you can use like a different weight fabric, you can line it or not, you can use different patterns, you can have patterns for like things have to match up or where they don't, you could even like color, block it if you want it. But if you can't picture it, right, because you have all the things at the beginning so many ideas at the beginning, but no idea of what the end thing looks like, then you're just gonna be like me with all my beautiful sentences, right? Like, they're all individually great. All the pieces are amazing, but like, we don't know how to make our own garment.
Yeah, no, this exactly it. And so it's like, oh, that pattern is beautiful. And then oh, this fabric is beautiful. It's like, oops, and, and for other people, that's easy for them. Right? It's like that, that fabric will look gorgeous in that with that particular pattern, right? That will make a gorgeous rap dress, or I can see that as a, you know, a gorgeous fit and flare or whatever it is. Whereas for me it's like, can I find an example of a floral print in this pattern? So then then I can picture it for myself and actually do it? Right, right. Like, I know I could, right? Like no one is stopping me like I you know, no one has stopped me from saying this fabric and this pattern. Let's put them together. Or they were like this sitting come for you. Yeah, right. Yeah. That's the whole point of like, you said, Oh, boy, you're sewing. Right? Like, the whole point is is liberation that I it's like, I get I'm not beholden to what designers decide. Yeah, you know, I
get as well, like, maybe this is this is similar, you're putting me in mind or something I used to do when my child was was younger, is I would go to one store and buy all of their clothes for a given season, like at once, like, because I could not hold in my head. Like, how many pairs of pants does my kid have? And what colors are they? So what types of shirts? Should I buy for sort of maximum outfit interoperability, right? Like I absolutely could not do that. And so I was like, go into like Bonnie togs or whatever. And it would be like four pairs of junk beds. And I would like actually lay them out on the shopping cart, not put them in the shopping, but lay them out on the shopping cart. And then we'd grab a bunch of shirts, and then see if all the shirts match with all the pants, and then things like that, I would like get all the mix and match pieces so that I could build a whole wardrobe at the same time. But I had to be able to see all of the pieces at once I knew. And I was like sort of happier to go there and like spend $300 buying, like a year's worth of clothes all shot. Because for me that was much easier than like, Oh, you know, there's a sale on jogging pants at Walmart, I'm going to get a couple pairs of these because that'll go with this because I can't remember like, Yeah, what my good has like, I also get overwhelmed when I'm like shopping for myself. And I'm like, you know, I want some new cool pieces. And then, like my husband be like, Oh, yeah, what choosing about that? I'm like, I don't even remember what shoes are. Yeah, I can't recall to mind the things that I already own or what things are going to go with or sometimes I open my closet. And I'm surprised by what's in there. And I'm like, as you know, Marie Kondo. So I don't keep things I don't adore. But even like the fairly minimalist amount of items that I have, I can't remember that I own them until I see them. And so like our maximalist tendency is like, oh, here's another idea I had, oh, here's another idea at Oh, this is a really cool t shirt. I want this T shirt, it'll go great with I don't know something. Right? Yeah. Is that in between that level of excitement about the possibilities that things open up for us? Is this complete falling apart at the sort of structural level of how does all of this fit into a wardrobe? A book project, you know, the fabrics that I have at home, what's in my fridge? You know, people asking for supper, I'm like, Oh, my God.
Yeah, that will lead back to the supper discussion, right? Like, the food,
right? But then I'll be like, you know, let's have a dinner party and I'm going to make these seven different recipes and now that's like a fun project for me to do once right but this like project everyday of like, have a fridge full of things and be able to call it to mind and then be able to edit. Wait, what's in the fridge into a meal? You can make an in the time constraints, right?
Like, I think Exactly. Yeah, we have and it's we have
Oh, go ahead.
I was gonna say it's why we tend to end up accumulating a lot of things because we literally forget we have Yeah, right. And and I find that like, that's one of the reasons I know now, why my kids want everything out in the room.
Because as soon as they put it away, it literally ceases to exist. Mm hmm. Right.
So like, if I tell my daughter to put her paints away, she will never use them again. Right? Right. Like, and she loves to paint and shield. And um, you know, it's again, it's those priority things, right? Like, if the, if the paints are out, she will see them and be like, Oh, I could be painting. If she's if they're not out, then it's like, I'm bored. I don't know what to do. It's like, or Mom, I need more paints. Like, why do you need more paints, I just bought two paints. I don't know where those are. Right, they got put away and like literally, like just left, this
disappeared. Now. When I was growing up, wait up for like a small house. But it was open concept, right. So the whole main floor, you could see everything on the main floor from everywhere else in the main floor. And my mom was kind of a minimalist. And you know, there were some toys that we kept in our rooms. But our rooms are not sort of like weird, quite small rooms. And so often our toys were in the basement, because that was the only place that there was room for them. And they were in different types of boxes. Like there was a Barbie box and a stuffies box and art supplies box. And my sister and I were only allowed to bring one box at a time, right? And we could play with the things in that box. And then we were like, No, I want to do Legos. Now we had to put everything back in the box from like the art supplies, and then put it away in the basement before we were allowed to bring the next thing up. And that's kind of like my dream. That's how I operate too. Because I tend to crumble in the face of visual clutter, as you know, but like what a what a flux to remember what toys you had, right? Yes, they were all in the basement and you can't see them. And my brain was fresher than it is now. And I used to be able to do that. And so now like, I find myself when I'm writing, doing little bits of paper, right or like I print things out, and I spread them out on the floor or so in time, or I add post it notes to stuff because like my maximalist early tendencies to put everything on paper to write as much as I think I can then inevitably leads me to a situation where if I can't see it, I don't know it exists anymore. So I often tend to reproduce the same ideas more than once, because I forgot that I already wrote it. And here is something that I just had an idea of a couple weeks ago. And I was like, maybe I'm supposed to forget some of these things. Yeah. Right. Maybe it's not just a matter of remember all the ideas, so you can cut some of them. Maybe it's just like you forgot about that document where you wrote a whole side quest about toxic masculinity in Robocop, and it didn't make it into the book. Maybe like, that's fine, because the book worked without it.
Yeah, exactly. Like,
maybe, to forget, like maybe if you really, really wanted to paint and it suddenly occurred, you know, I want to paint you'd be like, Oh, actually I own paints. Right? But if the right so maybe sometimes like that forgetting is okay. But I think because our brains are so buggered up. that many people with ADHD feel that forgetting things is like a mark of personal failure. But sometimes you forget things because your brain is actually winnowing out the memories you need to keep from the ones that you don't but since we forget everything yet, like we don't know, right, like, cuz that's gonna be optometrists today, like, I don't know, we're so afraid of forgetting things that that the things that we are just pruning out of our brains as a process of kind of editing our own ideas or what have you. That we're afraid of that right. We're afraid of forgetting anything. Now. Does that resonate with you?
Oh, yeah. Well, me, especially when I'm the things that my brain chooses, remember, is just like, what the like, and I'm not even talking about like, song lyrics, which, yes, they're all up there. And wow, lots of space. But like, you know, and my kids are like this to where they'll just draw on this random memory and I can do that. Or it's like, I will remember these random, seemingly inconsequential things right about my life about what happened about him. But then, like, I won't know anybody's name that it happened to, right like, you know, I'll remember like really seemingly inconsequential things but the things that matter I will guarantee you I can't tell anyone I can tell you their whole life story but not their name.
Oh, sure. Sure, you know, like
and so it gets to be that like it you know that that distrust of memory to right like, like you said, right but there's so many things that we do forget and so many things that we remember and go Why the hell am I remembering this like why is that taking up valuable real estate like
yeah, our memory my brain drain? Because they're hyper functional in areas where we're like, this is not useful to me right? But then sometimes when we need our memories, they will not come right so I'm always missing appointments. That's my number one trick but like another thing that Do as I crumble in the face of direct questioning. So if you were to say, Amy, what do you know about like racism and Canadian fitness culture? And I'd be like, nah. But today you posted a link to the episode that at the time we're recording this we had just released and you call the body break. And I was like, Oh, hell and Joanne from body break. Wait, I read five things about, you know, how's attempts to like break down racism in sports casting in Canada, which I never would have got to if you'd ask me a direct question about racism, in sports broadcasting, but it came at it sideways, like this little trigger of like this, you're like, haha, you know, if you're from Canada,
you're gonna know what this means
that I was like, I know what this means. Oh, 10 other facts. And then I just sit there thinking like, I could never have access that information on purpose. That was inside my own head. And so I walk around like, like, as an academic, it's my job to know things. And I walk around constantly in terror that someone's gonna say, like, what are the top 10 books in your field? And I'd be like, I don't even know what books are. Right? Can
you show me what should I read? Oh, gosh, I don't know. I like
wearing it. Because it's so stressful to me. Yeah.
Oh, no, I get it too. And I know, I'd like oh, you have a DHD in comparative literature? Yeah.
What are some great books? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know asked me something about cheese. And I'll tell you about whether rennet is vegan or not like, Yeah, I don't know. Right? He asked me a question about something else. And I'll give you the plot of seven different novels that I could not name for you right now. Because you've asked me to. meme is treacherous. My brain is treacherous. My, my amazing multitude of bits of knowledge is treacherous, because it pops out when I don't need it. And when I'm like, come on brain, help me out. Right? What are the books we should put on the PhD required reading list? I don't know. And I don't, I literally, don't. I have read so many books. We so many books. And they're like, Okay, so now we need to tell the PhD students in this field, what are the important books in this field? And I'm like, I don't even know what field I'm in anymore. Like, I just write like, I don't know. What should I read? If you give me a draft of the reading was, I'll be able to tell you what's wrong with it. But I don't know. I don't know so much is in my head. None of that comes out.
So I was at a job interview. And this was this was sort of like, it was gonna be hard to take it. But anyways, so my alma mater, university to Shell Book was actually hiring somebody in comparative Canadian literature. Oh, I know. And it was I became, there was a lot of finalists, but I was a finalist, which makes sense. Um, and I went in, and it was all happening really fast and happenstance. So I actually been on vacation just before the interview. I mean, sure. And so had no time to get and so so I started preparing for it. And, you know, my, my dissertation, Then came a book was on translation and all that kind of stuff. So I had all that in my head. And I had started thinking about orality. In in Daniel I for errors works and all of that kind of stuff. And I done the research and I'd found all the people and I can't even name the name anymore, either. Right? But hillar maybe Yeah, anyways, but but I was just sent for this for like a loop because it's like, well, we know you know a lot about translation studies. And so we feel good about that. Talk to me about your, your new research now. morality, who are the people that you've been reading? And I could see the damn book on my shelf? Right, a section on my shelf where you could find it. Right, I could see the cover the color, the image? Could I remember the words and the author name on it?
This is so relatable. That's the nightmare scenario. scenario.
Yeah. In a job interview, no less of like, what my dream job was?
Yeah. Yeah. Like the dictionary defines orality as, like, I think morality is about talking. Hold on, can I look at my notes for like, a hard question, right?
Could you just let me like, I know it, like, you know, and I was really, really proud of myself too. As I was going through this research that I had very quickly found on my own, the foundational texts, yeah, for this particular thing. And I was like, oh, that didn't actually take that long. And I must really know what I'm doing for when it comes to research because this this whole new field that I've never studied, and never done anything with, and here I am finding these foundational texts, and making sense of all of this kind of stuff, but what are their names? What are their names? No. Game idea, just like gone. Yeah, I was just like, you know, one of those moments where you're just literally almost in tears, right? Like, you're just Sure, and these are, you know, these are people I knew on top of it, like maybe it would have been actually it was a little better that I knew them right if it had been absolute strangers, like the rejection would have like kicked in big time. But I'm like, you know me, I'm like this. This is who I am, they must know that I was here for five years, like,
you know, this, this kind of fields, that anecdote that you're sharing feels to me like it, it is in some way analogous to a stutter, right? Like, it's not that in a stutter that you don't know how to talk, it's that somewhere in between your brain and your mouth, something gets stuck, right? That there is a block that doesn't have anything to do with your competence, right? It has to do with the, the, the situation, or it has to do with like some neurological or physiological quirk that makes it impossible. Like to access that specific piece of information in this specific way it is being required of you and like, I know that some of the therapies for for a speech for stuttering is like if you have certain sounds that are problematic for you work around them, right or like craft beatings of sentences that do not use those sounds so that you can at least unhinge your mouth, get started. And like, so like there are workarounds, like I for like the thing that you're describing. And I know on this podcast before, I've talked about how when I want to design a syllabus, I need to be in front of my bookshelves and I would drag my fingers along the shelf because I'm like, I'm teaching a course in media history. Like I think TV is part of that. Like the end, like I don't know, I read, I probably on seven textbooks about media history, I could not tell you the names of any of them. I, you know, have like, like field guides to media history. I have like compendiums of like, academic articles about it. I have like encyclopedias of media history. And I don't remember and it'll be like
was like, I don't know. But if you put me in front of my shelf, and I can run my finger along it, I can see all those books that I read. And once I can put my finger on the spine of that book, I'm like, Oh, this one was about this. Right? Yeah. But that's like a little workaround in between, like, I'm trying to be kinder to my brain, and I hope our readers can be kinder to their brains to that sometimes when you choke, right? When you choke in the face of like, things that you know, you know very well, it's because your brain bucket is too full. Yeah. It's not like you're trying to you're like, you're like Cher Horowitz in clueless, oh, yes, you need a computer to generate your outfits for you. Because your closet is actually so full, that you would never be able to pick an outfit by yourself if you didn't have this kind of like shorthand index way of accessing the different tops and color schemes in your wardrobe. So I think like, I think we are all in our own ways, ADHD people. maximalists. Right, yeah, we pay too much attention. I mean, that's classic, right? It's not the attention deficit is like, the deficit is in the direction of attention to the thing that requires attention. But we're full of attention all the time. And that attention usually results in maximal participation in things that our attention is directed at, with an accompanying inability to filter that back into something useful. I mean, it's, I think it's part of the same thing as like when you're in like a crowded space, and you're trying to talk to somebody who's directly in front of you, but you cannot get over the noise that the lights are making. And there's some little kid playing a video game that's flashing bright, bright lights in your peripheral and you're like trying so hard to pay attention to your friend, but you cannot filter out all these other things that you're simultaneously paying attention to, like maybe the things that are inside our heads, maximally are like that, too, there's just so much information that's trying to come out so much like ideas about dresses, so many ideas about Robocop right so many ideas for creating yoga sequences, so many different routes that I could plan for my run so many different meal plans that I could make that they just clog in the this bottleneck of my executive function gonna get to come out so like, that's kind of the that's kind of the ADHD paradox there is like there's so much that comes in, and often so much that comes out. But to try to be like answer the question that someone directly asks you or produce the competence required in a very focused way on a limited type of thing that someone else requires of you is, like, honestly, makes my brain stutter.
So we're going to end that here. Spoiler alert, this wasn't actually going to be two episodes, it's going to be three episodes. So join us over the next two weeks for part two and three of our conversation on too much NIS and maximalists tendencies of ADHD and how all the things are all the things as well as 80s dystopian movie trivia. Have fun and stump your friends with these things or maybe fall down your own rabbit hole for those Feel free to share with us what random knowledge you have and what rabbit holes you fallen down. around. Yeah, You know when you should be doing something else as always I am ready writing on Twitter Amy is did you want on Twitter? You can email us at all the things email@example.com You can also visit our website all the things ADHD calm, still don't have any additional resources that I've added because ADHD. So hope to see you hear from you borrow your ear, lend me your ear lend you lend us your ears. Next week and the week after that, and the week after that. And the week after that, until we decide. Season Three is done. Maybe for summer break. I don't know. No, probably go over the summer and then and once the semester starts up again in our lives get back to being insane. Anyway, thank you for listening. Hope to hope you lend us your ears. Next week, same time, same place. Yeah, just obviously clearly struggling with the day and try to stay focused everyone thanks.