Episode 42

Steff Gallante33min

Steff Gallante

00:00

Hey there, I'm so glad you're here. If this is your first time to the show, welcome. And if you've been around here for a bit, know that I am always grateful to be in the ether with you, when you have the chance to connect with me here. We've been having some pretty real conversations all year, I cannot believe that the podcast is almost a year old. And this week is no different. We're still having some tough conversations. And I don't know about you, but even know we've been having real and vulnerable and uncomfortable and sometimes difficult conversations all year. For me, the last couple of weeks have felt all of that even more so. And yet, as Michelle, Cassandra Johnson says, so wisely, we've got to do it anyway. It's hard, and we've got to do it anyway. So here we go. Last week, we talked about tips for digesting our current world. And that conversation centered on Iron Vedas, in ancient wisdom, that I offered in a way that I hope made it more accessible to you for life as it is now, right? Given current times, amidst all that's been going on in our communities, in our state, you know, our different states, our different countries and the world, as long as along with, you know, what's going on in our own personal lives. And this week, we're going to take this conversation, same level in terms of Fuck, it's collective overwhelm. And when we are experiencing collective overwhelm, when we are experiencing exhaustion and injustice, we have to leverage rest, and taking it easy to cope, to be in at all, and to move through it. And when I say move through it, I mean, like, actively, one foot in front of the other, or actively standing still, like, whatever it is that you're doing in your life, to just move from one day to the next is what I'm talking about. Yes, also move through it as in like, hopefully, I don't know, whatever it takes, whatever you're dealing with whatever it is, whether it is, you know, what it takes to show up in the face of injustice, whatever it whatever those actions are, whatever hardship, you're going through whatever stress there is right like, so that you can put one foot in front of the other or stand still or curl up in a ball, and eventually make your way through day after day, and eventually, eventually down the road, you know, onto the other side. Beyond navigating current events, taking it easy and resting are essential when we are managing everyday stress when we are going through personal times that are tough, and simply just living every day in capitalism and a culture based on white supremacy, especially for those of you who live in the United States. And that goes for those of you who are in white bodies. And obviously for those of us who are of the global majority, we know that. But I want to remind you just in case you forgot for a moment. And that's the real real, there's no, like there's just no way around it. Now, I have to also say that I'm not saying that taking it easy and resting and getting better sleep is going to make witnessing one horror after another any easier. Or that it's going to make a significant impact on our collective overwhelm. I'm not going to say either one of those things, because I'm not saying either one of those things. But also that's not a reason to not do these things. What I am saying is that rest taking it easy, getting better sleep is necessary for us to witness process, like witness whatever we are witnessing process and I digest what we can and keep going in the fight for justice, and through everyday life because the reality is capitalism, you've got to pay your bills. You might be responsible for the care of some people or animals and unfortunately, I hate to say it but the world keeps turning it and we've got to keep showing up to those who we are responsible for to our responsibilities in some way, shape or form. and things may shift and change, of course. And we'll talk about that. Now with fall being nature's natural downshift, the season is nature's downshift, we are offered an incredibly beautiful gift of the transition towards rest and taking it easy being modeled for us outside our door. And that's with the sun setting earlier and earlier, the temperatures, cooling vegetation and wildlife preparing for dormancy. And a note about the sun setting earlier this past weekend, if you're listening to this the week this airs in most states of the United States Daylight Savings Time, and it's our clocks moved back in our giving us an earlier sunset and essentially, more, you know, moving towards a more dark hours. And I know for some, including myself, it can be a tough transition. This changing of the clocks. You're obviously what comes with it right. And you know, your body's clock might feel off my eating scheduled feels off, it felt off a lot, obviously Sunday, there might be some sadness that creeps in or a lot I mean, no judgement, right? You know, as the hours of darkness steadily increase. You know, everybody's reasons for how they might feel or struggles through this transition, it could be different. For me, I really love the sun, I love spending time in the sunlight. So historically, I didn't really ever enjoy the clocks falling back. If your body is feeling off, be kind to it and know that it can take some times three weeks or more for your body to acclimate to this changing of the clocks. And I also want to note that over the last few years as I started to make some shifts within my daily rhythm to align with nature's rhythm of the day. And also in embracing nature's seasonal changes and seasonal schedule. I have found myself not struggling so much, or as much, I wouldn't say so much but as much but the shorter days, this time of year. And surprisingly, I have really begun to understand the importance of this downshift and speed and downshift in light. Now, I'm not saying at all that this was an easy transition for me, you know, to get to this place where it doesn't affect me so much because it wasn't and there still is some resistance. And here's why we resist the downshift a fall because capitalism white supremacy culture have brainwashed us. Yes, I said it brainwashed us into believing that we've got to keep pushing and producing at all costs. And I know that's a mindfuck because of the fact that we are at the mercy of capitalism, we have to pay our bills we have to work, we have to continue showing up in our work to our work, whether you own your own business or work for someone else's. And also this time of year, the commercialization of all the holidays. Also different functions, whether it's for kids school or within your own workplace or your community. It's all so much. And the reality is collectively we are struggling. Right now we have been struggling. And it is not our fault. I say it as if I'm a broken record. But I say it to remind you we are experiencing one awful thing after another. And sometimes we don't even have time to acknowledge the new thing that has happened we don't have the chance to process it or properly grieve one thing before the next and it's to the point where we are not just experiencing one thing after another but on top of another on top of the another on top of all the others and all the rest. And and some of this remains unprocessed or not fully processed within us. And in order to pull ourselves up, despite the overwhelm, in order to keep showing up to ourselves our work to the fight for justice in spite of the overwhelm. We have got to leverage rest, sleep and ease and dare I say it joy as we recently discussed in Episode 39.

Steff Gallante

09:55

Now I know when we some of us consider activities As a way of being that's more relaxing or leisurely or at ease, it is easier said than done. But I want to remind you that there is no one right way to rest, to be at ease to be leisurely. Due to sleep, there's no one perfect way either it is an individual process. And remember, we have many of us are walking around in different states of dysregulation. And I am not at all saying that, you know, if you just take it easy, if you just rest a little bit more, if you just get better sleep, that you'll be able to regulate your system out of all this fuckery. I'm not saying that. But we do, what we can do, is going to make a difference for us. So that maybe we can be just a little bit more regulated, or just a little bit more careful or just a little bit more resourced. All the way down to a cellular level. And that's how we have to meet ourselves with these potent practices. That might not seem like much, but dammit, are they just so awesome. Now, I know that when we talk about getting better sleep, that many of you want this, but the thing is, like we don't always do what we need to, for us to have the sleep we want. And again, that might be because of the systems that might be for so many reasons, right? I'm going to offer a little bit of tough love. And also hopefully, some access points for you. Because if you are feeling like you need to tend to yourself in this area of your life, you know, I'm always here for that for however, you can meet yourself. Now, coming back to taking it easy, we're gonna be talking about a variety of things. Remember, this is not an exhaustive list. And this is not all either, and nor is it your list of to dues at all. So remember that the first thing is hobbies, please, if you are not doing this, please start doing things that you enjoy simply for the pleasure you get from doing it. Remember, you have nothing to earn. Right? Just do it because you get fucking pleasure from it. And that could be anything. It could be literally anything sex included. It could be anything that brings you pleasure, we often associate pleasure with sexual acts. But it doesn't have to be that like pleasure you get pleasure from whatever anything, right? Like pleasure doesn't always have to be in the context of sex, or anything having to do with intimacy, right. Allowing yourself time to do what brings you joy is essential. So please do it. And fuck the guilt all the way out of here. You knew I was gonna say that, right? The next thing, quiet time. And quiet time can be with yourself or with others. Quiet time also does not have to mean that your body has to be still, you could be quiet, walking, driving, cooking, cleaning, whatever. You could also sit in silence, or whether it's quiet. Maybe it's just nature sounds right. There really are so many options. Quiet time is so important. Because we are currently being bombarded by so much while living in a sensory overloaded culture and our brain and system need time to literally not be so bombarded all of the time. And I know that quiet time can be super uncomfortable because for some of us, that is when our mind races the most the volume of your thoughts are highest and loudest. The loop is faster of your thoughts. And I know that because it used to be the same way for me and when I am not actively spending quiet time that stuff just reappears. And it's quite common, right because we are caring so much. But I encourage you to lean into support, ask for support when you need it to allow this time for yourself and continue to find ways to help yourself here because it is of the essence and remember. It doesn't have to be for 30 minutes 30 seconds of quiet. Oh my gosh. It's everything. The next offering of taking it easy is time to yourself. I know if you are a parent if you are a caregiver if you have a million responsibilities daily. It can feel like an impossibility. I know that and you You need and deserve time to yourself where you get to do what you want. And not share that time with others. And also, you can choose to do what you want to do even with your partner, and your children or whomever it is, with zero explanation, shame or earning about it. Honor your needs and wants is so important. Whether you are in a group of others, or spending time by yourself, and remember, cultivating a mean, and maintaining a loving relationship with yourself is just as important and I'm listening but to say it is maybe even more important than any other relationship that you have with someone else. And when you begin to really, and I'm not saying oh, you know, like self care is self love, and that's it yet it is true, right? Self Care is self love. But remember if we're doing self care, but then guilting shaming, judging, right, that's you know, kind of defeating the purpose. And so, when you truly cultivate a loving relationship with yourself, it will help you to create and enforce boundaries, both with What does not serve you and with what does so you can say yes, more, you can say no and not feel guilty about it. Or at least not so much anymore. Already, next option, taking it easy spend time in nature, whenever wherever it is safe for you to do so. experience at all the sights, the sounds, the smells the energy, right maybe without your phone, or like in your phone in your pocket, maybe not with with like listening to music, maybe not having a conversation, right? We are nature connecting with it just standing maybe in the sun for a few moments can suit you soften rough edges create a like space within our being. I'm really not exaggerating, there's research out there that shows this right that what nature can do for our brain and our being. And oftentimes, it creates a spaciousness within us to begin to problem solve. Sometimes the answers we were looking for comes to us when we are quiet in nature, we begin to think a little bit more a little bit differently than we had been. We can you know, figure out alternatives to things. Sometimes some of us become more creative. In this time of year in the fall, enjoy nature during warmer hours. And if it's cold, cool or windy, cover your ears and head for protection. And on any days where you might be feeling stuck or sluggish. Standing outside in the airy fall can be particularly uplifting. So keep that in mind. Something else that people find to be useful or ease inducing is using essential oils. If that's your jam, the Fall is a great time to use warming oils, including these but not limited to these are just a few vetiver, cardamom, cinnamon, cinnamon and citrus like orange or lemon. Now, if you've been around the show for a while, you know that I talk often about the seven types of rest. And I have mentioned quite a few times or in over the last 11 months of the show that our practices now that our practices are basically the way I have categorized five different practices we need for doing these five things releasing tension which stimulates the release of toxins and tightness within your body relaxing, right doing something that's enjoyable, or something that doesn't require much effort, resting, allowing yourself to reduce stimulation, regenerating to repair damage tissue and promote healing. And then rejuvenating that's repairing damage. Jamet damaged tissue, sorry, and also restoring it. You might say okay, regenerating and rejuvenating sounds kind of similar. They are sometimes. And so here are some practices within each category for releasing tension. You know, for rejuvenating you know, restoring tissue. You might do mobility exercises, you might take a walk, you might stretch, you might do some sort of self massage, yoga. Nidra is wonderful here.

Steff Gallante

19:36

For relaxing things you enjoy things that don't take much effort that might be watching TV, listening to music, reading for leisure, it might be coloring painting, I mean any other, you know, creative thing or something that allows you to, you know, not necessarily think but you know, you're making something or bringing something to life doesn't always have to be art, a hobby, that's not strenuous. And also your evening wind down practices, which we're going to talk about in a little bit. Something that's regenerative, regenerative, remember that we're repairing damaged tissue, but also promoting healing within the body, being quiet, purposely sedentary sometimes, especially if you're always on your feet on the go. Perhaps a nap shavasana at the end of yoga classes is wonderful for this. Also 61 points, meditation, restorative yoga, and also really, you know, breathing meditation can be so supportive. So just think, you know, some ideas. That's not, you know, an exhaustive list or, you know, like the be all end all, but I wanted to offer some things, you know, it's easy for me to say, Oh, well make sure you're releasing tension, make sure you're rejuvenating your tissues and cells. But that doesn't tell you much. So hope you find that helpful. And you might notice that I didn't talk about rest. Well, here we go. Remembering that rest isn't always sleep, it's not always napping, it's not always sitting still. Rest can be physical rest. It can be mental, sensory, rest, creative rest, emotional rest, social rest, spiritual rest. Now, here's the thing, you might find that a practice is restful in one way, but might be regenerative or rejuvenating in another. And so, you know, think very loosely about this, you may find that some practices fit in multiple categories, that's fine. That's totally fine. What I encourage you to do is, especially if you've been around the show, before, we've talked about this before, I encourage you to consider this season, how you experienced this season, how you are experiencing life right now. And also, if you've been around the show, before, we've talked about like, what kind of time do you have? What is realistic, given your time, your energy, the type of energy present for you, your access to resources, and support? Right? So rather than just thinking about always physical rest looks like this. Always mental rest looks like this. It's like no, no, what's right now like what's present for me right now? And what would be supportive right now for me. Let me know if you've got questions on that. I am always here for it right reach out in however it is that that we connect. And if you have never connected with me, outside of this, you know, podcast, please feel free to reach out. Now, when it comes to abundant and restful sleep, we're going to be talking about a few things that are helpful, but some of them we've already talked about in previous episodes, so I'm not gonna spend much time on it today. powering down evening rituals, sleep, these are the main factors in getting abundant and restful sleep. But we've already talked about daily rhythm, which you'd be surprised, you know, this is another factor in getting good sleep. Why? Because when we are rushing through our day, sometimes we're too frazzled at the end of the day, especially if we go we're gonna go going all the way up until the end end of you know when we need to sleep. So daily rhythm in Episode 40. Important go back to that, if you haven't listened, also slowing your roll pausing through the day we talked about in episode 41 Last week, so definitely check that out. Another big factor in abundant and restful sleep that we've already talked about is your morning routine. And the way that your support starts from the very beginning of the day, that's also covered in Episode 40. And a morning routine is huge. It sets the tone for the day. It's a great support for you allows for steadiness and calmness if that's what you need or uplifting, if that's what you need. And remember, if you right now are craving more peace, more ease, maybe even control the elusive control. The morning routine is a really great place to start. And no matter how short or simple, the routine or rituals are, it's truly one of the greatest support you can have in place. Remember that a morning routine is going to connect you to practices that you can come back to later on, right and it's more likely, if you're starting your day, this way with self love, that you get to come back to self love throughout the day, especially when you're faced with challenges. And it's going to kind of give you an anchor to what you can come back to if the day goes awry. Or if you get sidetracked from doing anything for yourself. And it's going to help you to support your nervous system. You know when either you or the world is losing its shit or continues to lose its shit. I really promise that and remember that just because we're using the word routine doesn't mean that your rituals have to be the same every day. They can shift they can change based on your needs and responsibilities and that is okay. Now In Episode 41, last week, we talked about powering down as literally like you're powering down process, slowly decreasing your speed and intensity, you can look at it this like your cooldown from a workout or the descent process that a plane goes through to prepare to land. This all happens gradually over a long period of time. And that's exactly what you want to do each day. Now each day may look a little different. Traditionally powering down happens between six and 10pm. In the evening, we're leveraging the dominance of Kapha energy, right? That's that slow moving, calm, peaceful vibe. And this is a great time to prepare for the next day. Do you're taking it easy practices, some of them not all of them, right. And then some self love activities before bed. Right. So go back to episode 41 If you need some ideas or need a refresher, now, remember, I know that life is so overwhelming right now you've got the world, you've got your responsibilities. You know, whomever it is that you live with, in the evening in our house is wild, it's wild. And for me, that's why slowing down throughout the day is really important. Because if I just bulldoze through the day, sometimes I get really short sleep, even if I'm exhausted by the end of the day, it's not good sleep. Sometimes I'm so wired, that it's not good sleep. And so what I try to do is soften my intensity. Like even if I'm getting food on the table. Even if I'm getting the kids to practice, even if I'm working in the evening, I try to soften my intensity when I'm doing these things, you know, not trying to not to rush rush rush trying to release my grip, soften my jaw, relax my shoulders, soften my eyes even, right like trying not to be harsh, but centering softness a little bit, even when I'm going and doing and that really has been a game changer for me. Right? You don't always have the space and time to do what you want to do leisurely. And the reality is sometimes we just got to go and do. Right so for me, for my sanity softening has been really helpful. Now, some of your evening rituals are before your bed, like before bed rituals might include downloading the day into your journal or a conversation with a trusted loved one. Meditation breathing could be some gentle stretching or restorative yoga, perhaps a self massage. Let me tell you these last couple of weeks I have been doing self massage every single day. Sometimes it is literally just taking oil onto my hands and rubbing it on my body not in like a massage massage way but like just the touch of my hand. With this oil, it has been amazing. And the night I don't do it, I noticed a difference in my sleep. Also in the fall steam baths humidifiers, they preserve internal moisture. So that's going to be a really helpful thing for you to do if you have access. Now in the fall, it's ideal to be asleep somewhere between 10 and 11pm most days to avoid an overstimulated mind for those of you who are feeling excess of vata energy. If you are naturally vata dominant, you know the air and ether changeable, mobile, flexible, creative energy, I'm talking to you especially. Of course, there's flexibility here as needed for special circumstances. But the key is not to stay up to all hours of the night every night so that you don't interrupt essential digestion, regeneration and rejuvenation that happens only overnight when you sleep. And if you are asleep staying up late at night, be sure to create some space for in the next day for you to be gentle with yourself. Because you might need that and then hopefully get back into the rhythm of your normal sleep schedule that next night or the night after. Now,

Steff Gallante

29:09

if you're feeling these days, like the overwhelm that I keep talking about, you know is really fucking with your sleep. It's hard to get to sleep if you're feeling like you're just not getting good sleep. If you're feeling like you're hitting the wall between two and 3pm. Be sure to examine the pace of your day. The amount of responsibilities you've got on your plate, and the caliber of production you expect from yourself. Friend, these are desperate times you have to adjust the pace of your day where you can or at least soften your intensity like I was talking about earlier. You have to adjust your responsibilities where you can delegate or delay where you can and also when it comes to the quality of your work. I'm not telling you to phone it in. Although I will say I will not say that that's a bad thing. I am not saying phoning it in is a bad thing because sometimes it is necessary. And I do encourage you to revise what you expect of yourself, given your circumstances. If I know anything about you, you are a high achiever. And your five out of 10 is someone else's eight or nine out of 10. Easy. So allow yourself some grace. And if you get nothing else from this episode, let it be this, please stop making yourself out to be wrong, bad lazy, not in it enough or any other bullshit for wanting needing or doing rest or taking it easy. Period. Rest is literally a four letter word, but it is not that kind of four letter word. So let's stop treating it like that. Friend, rest is resistance rest is necessary. Rest is your damn divine human right. It is what your ancestors worked so hard for it is what your friends, family clients, co workers, your community, all those who are more oppressed than you. Those who are facing unspeakable danger need you to do so that you can keep showing up for them in a clear resourced, regulated and sustainable manner. Friend, sit with what's coming up with for you. Right, you might be feeling anxious to like start doing all the ticket easy things, maybe overwhelmed and even paralyzed by all the things that are offered. And remember, as I said last week, you might be noticing you want to focus on a few or main or maybe all the things. But remember, it's not about quantity, but quality. So feel free to just let the tendency to do all the things all the way go. That's conditioning from dominant culture. As always, my encouragement is to start really small with one thing with one step that's flexible based on your time and energy. And remember that you can talk through some of this in real time with me, we can schedule a release the pressure, call on Zoom to discuss what you're experiencing, and how you want to feel as you move through life. This week. Next week, these this next month, I'll offer clarity as invalidation honestly as we talk, and also customized support based on you and what you are experiencing. And I'll offer you some simple shifts that you can begin to consider that are flexible based on your time and energy and what you say you want to do for yourself. Remember the way that I work, it's not rigid, there are no shoulds or judgment. So I encourage you, right, if you're like, damn, I just need to take the edge off a little bit. I encourage you come in and let's have a conversation. You can go to Steff gallante.com/call, for the link to book the pricing and everything. I've included the link to the show notes. Remember, you just do not have to do this all on your own. As always, my friend before we leave one another, I'll offer you some wrap up considerations. How can you use these teachings or what comes up for you to human more easily? And also to support and uplift those in your community especially for those who hold different identities or are more marginalized in your own? How can you use it to connect more authentically and deeply to your community to begin to move toward mass mutual reliance and away from Western cultures individualistic society until next time, my friend please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would to those who are most precious to you. Whether that's a human or an animal, baby or a plant. I always love to hear from you. Please reach out let me know what's resonating and if there's something that you need me to address in the next couple of weeks. Drop it to me please let me know I want to talk about what you need to hear. If you've been loving the show, please share it with your nearest and dearest and I would love it if you'd leave a review or a rating. My friend remember you are a badass and you are enough. Now go be your favorite self and be well

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