resilience. There's a this notion of a lot of us who if conflict is uncomfortable, and or, you know, struggles or holding space for discomfort is something that is uncomfortable to you, then oftentimes, the idea of romanticizing resilience has been a way that we rescue ourselves at a macro level from that conversation, because it's Well, yes, I've struggled but I've actually I'm I am, who I am because of those struggles and those resilience. And what we do is we sweep away the conversations on struggle and discomfort that got us to that moment. And so I'm not villainizing the word resilience, but I do want to lift up what lawanna saying is that the oftentimes people who have been in, in very difficult situations, or all of us who have been in struggle, have written off the scene and the discomfort and the space that is needed for that healing, by saying, well, it's built her resilience. I'm guilty of that, for my own self and my own healing. I'm sure a lot of us are and so how do you combat that? I think it's exactly what lawanna is saying is, you get comfortable saying, okay, part of this work is that for us to have healthy cultures for us to deliver on a mission of inequity, injustice, and injustice, which is not for the light hearted or the faint hearted. We're going to we're going to have to come up with systems and ways to see and heal ourselves and each other as part of the work that does not mean rescue, it does not mean comfort zone. It does not mean silence, it does not mean under the carpet. It also does not mean weaponizing right. There's there's other the other line, it doesn't mean excuses, weaponizing playing, you know, motivational paycheck, exchange and bartering, that doesn't mean any of that either. So here's what we're going to do, we're going to really practice having direct conversations and holding ourselves to moments of discomfort without rescuing each other. If someone's crying in my office, I might even say, You know what, I really want to honor that this is hard for you. And I, I don't the tissues are here, but I'm not trying to wipe your tears. Like I want to honor that if you if you're in the space of this, right? Like how do we create disclaimers and containers to make ourselves feel a little bit comfortable to hold uncomfortable space. And the last thing I'll say is, for me, in my practice, what really helped was having having vulnerability in that. So I used to say a lot to my supervisees, or wherever I was saying, You know what, I'm really trying to work on my own relationship to discomfort and conflict. So understand that my right now is just to hold space without trying to fix it without trying to rescue that. So just just know that I'm uncomfortable in that. But I want to see you and I really want you to continue with where you're at. But I give myself a little bit of grace, so that I can carry through with the intention of just holding space or with the intention of saying let's let's be in in disagreement about this for another week or two or three weeks, because I don't know, we don't know the answer to this, right. And so I just invite you to think about what makes you uncomfortable. Is there something you can name about that discomfort that gets you into this conversation? Because if not, if you don't have intention or alertness around then around that, we end up saying things in well intentioned ways on resilience around we end up saying things on it's okay, great, you know, head down. Yeah, the job is hard. It's hard for all of us, like we end up saying things that minimize the very things that we need to build positive culture and If that's that's resonating,