Should you trust any man in Austin? w/ Giannina Gibelli & Jon Gonzalez, Dating Disasters Day 3

6:47PM Jul 11, 2022

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some dates are magical and others are pure disasters. I would know. This is lovestruck daily I'm in love with you. To you I'm in love with you Hello, everyone. My name is Giannina Gibelli and I'm guest hosting today on lovestruck daily. You can recognise me from the Netflix series Love is blind, a social experiment that is meant for finding your soulmate without ever seeing them, and then possibly marrying them. Or you've come across some of my adventures globe trotting all over IG and tick tock all while giving you guys tips and tricks along the way. We talk about fashion bucket list items, living your life to the fullest, overcoming obstacles and everything in between. This week, we're talking all about dating disasters, and I am uniquely qualified in my opinion to host because like I mentioned, while being on love is blind, I actually went through the process of falling in love with someone without seeing them getting engaged, sight unseen, than having a wedding what I was told no at the altar, then ran away from my own wedding. And so much more happened after that. But what I've come to realise through all of that is that dating in general is really, really hard. And there's so much trial and error that you have to go through in order to get closer and closer to what you truly want and desire and need. And sometimes you have to go through a couple of disasters to get there. Knowing what you don't want, in my opinion is actually more important than knowing what you do want. Trust me, I've done it all. So which brings me to our guest today. You may have seen him on Tik Tok. He's hilarious if you haven't seen him go follow him. Right after you hear some of these incredible dating stories. Trust me, they're wild. Please welcome Jonathan Gonzalez. have you here

it's so nice to meet you after hearing about that it relates so much to my truth because I I just need to like align my stars with doors. I feel like

it was all a bit of fate but we'll get into that. I want to know everything about you give me a little bit of a rundown because I've seen you on Tik Tok but I want to get to know you for real.

So I'm like, Okay, I'm like really extroverted, but I consider myself a shy girl. I was raised super conservative. My dad is was a pastor and like my grandpa was a pastor, and they're both Mexican. My grandpa literally immigrated here from Mexico to make churches. So they were like, oh, since Fortunato was a pastor Luis was a Pastor Jonathan will be a pastor, and I'm not a pastor. I'm a graphic designer, that's also gay. And so like, I guess that's my backstory. Like, that's where I am now. I am a designer live in Austin. I'm out. Now. I'm like trying to find my footing in a world that doesn't really understand where I am and who I am.

Well, I love that it sounds like you're definitely carving your own path. And what I like to say veering left so coming from like a Hispanic family, myself, and not really having expectations so much is like pressure. But I was like, Oh, you have to look a certain way. You have to be a certain a certain way, or act a certain way. And then like I did this reality show where my parents will half of my family because you know, like that the that do that sister that

Oh, my God, were they mortified? Yeah. Like, why would you explore yourself? I get that No, girl, I get it. I get it complete. But

you feel so good. When you can turn around and say no, I've succeeded in my own path. And I'm embracing it and people are embracing Yes. I feel like we're on that same level for sure. Because it's just so free. But it's also a learning

process. And you go through a bunch of bumps before you find the like smooth train.

Oh, yeah. 100%. And we're here to talk about your dating stories. I know that they're crazy. And I can't wait to dive into them. I have some of my own. But the goal here is definitely to encourage you to make one significant change in your dating life by the end of the episode, so we'll see if we can do it. Okay. I really just want to get to know what is it that you look for in a partner and how are you currently dating? Are you using apps or you see you live in Austin? Austin has a great community as what I've heard. Now,

I mean, it does but it's growing rapidly. And apparently we have like a lot of STDs here. So like, we had to be careful. All of us do.

Yeah, I've lived in Atlanta and Atlanta is like the number one to

like I'm and there's like COVID and monkeypox, like I'm like, you can message me but if I'm going to see you, I need to feel it. So I'm honestly I've been very Sure, but lately, I don't I honestly don't think you can trust anyone these days.

So it definitely sounds like you have some dating disasters to share with us. I hear you have several stories for us. So please, please spill the tea.

Well, my first like, significant day, I went on a date with like a girl that I liked a lot in eighth grade and she happened to be lesbian. And our first kiss my first kiss, my first kiss. I felt like I had lost my virginity when I did this. She was waiting for me in the bathroom because we were on a double date. And the guy told me to go and see her. I walked to the bathroom, we make out and then like, I asked her, I remember asking her. Am I doing a good job? Well, we still got kissing, even though you're a brace face. Oh, no, your brace fades. It was like all the metal parts. It was rough. I think it's like, so accurate to like who I am today. These it's like, my first makeout session was with a lesbian girl. I'm a gay man. Like, that's really beautiful. Also, we both had braces. And that's tragic. But it's funny. That's really beautiful.

There's so many signs, you know, you know, I was gonna say so this was just you trying to figure out which flavour Do I like? Who cuz

I was just trying to figure out like, and I remember like feeling boobs, there's time and like squeezing them and being like, I'm like, This is not a territory for me. Like I'm in a bathing a space that like, with me being gay. Like it was very black and white. Like I tried to be straight. I tried to kiss girls. I touched boobs. I touched girls, but I didn't like it. That's what encapsulates my first day like it was just not. It was not romantic. It was scary.

So that's good that you that you figured that out early on. It's good when you can look back at it and be like, I can find the humour in it. What's your second dating story?

Like it is the worst day I've been on it was really bad because I was still coming out of like post Christian college and I was like, really excited about every guy was meeting so I was like, this is the right guy. But it was like a disaster. I was trying to find a boyfriend after moving back to Austin after living in Chicago for a long time. And Mike f the city I need to move back to my home. I moved back to Austin. I'm talking to guys I'm being myself. I'm being just like super extroverted. And I'm getting to go so there was this one guy who really caught my eye. That was so hot. I liked his body. I liked his interest. I liked our conversation, but he ghosted me because we sent a talking runton there and then he saw like, he was like, I want to see more pics. So I sent him a picture of like, my bloody elbow when I was like also kind of like naked a little bit in the picture. So it was kind of hot, but it was like, my like, skinny like naked body with like a bloody elbow because it was like the day that the wound happened. And I was like, This is so hot. I sent it to him thinking that he wouldn't like it. He goes, he goes knee because he thinks I'm trolling him. Then, fast forward a few weeks later, we're out the rock wall. I'm climbing with my friends. He sees me and he's like, damn. I don't he didn't say that. But I just saw him looking at me. And he was like, I need to be seen by this boy like he needed to know me. So I recognise

that bloody elbow.

Yeah. And he saw me at the rock wall and he was like, Oh my God, I need to know Him. And then he texted me and messaged me on Tinder. Are you at a BP and I was like, Yeah, I am. Clean it up. So we met up and then we started watching euphoria together as friends. And then we went on a day, so ease into it. Yeah, we isn't because he was really Catholic. You was like, not trying to like be homosexual. Yeah, so it was like really immensely boobs for me as like a homosexual. That's like, trying to just find the cute boy. Right?

And he's just trying to figure it out for the first time. But all of this sounds really cute up until the date

but because of his religion, like with Catholicism, he was like, I don't want to touch you. I don't want to get too close like and I understood that because I grew up super Christian. So I was like, Don't worry, like we can play it off. Like we can be like chill,

but mixed signals the entire time. Like basically you felt like he doesn't want sent me

the entire time until it got actually Raizy until he actually wanted me.

And is that like, what's giving you the whole going through these experiences with men that like, didn't want to, but then could and then showed that they weren't against, like things that they believe in? Is that what you feel like you can't trust anyone?

What what you just described as what I was going through post college, like, that's my, that was my internal battle. And then I was cursed to find somebody who was going through that. And they're like, late 20s. And so it kind of like, brought me back even more, but he reminded me of like, an insecure part of my past, if that makes sense, you know, but I

truly I see that as like a really big sign of growth from you, because you just said, well, that used to be me years ago, then I had to date somebody to realise that I wasn't in that space anymore, and that they are, and now you're just kind of see versions of yourself that you're like, Okay, I'm not there anymore. I'm not in that place. You're just kind of getting closer and closer to

No, you're right. I'd like this is like the point. This was like the main point I wanted to make when you are gay, or queer or anything and like, you are suppressed because of your family because of religion because of anything like, there is a massive learning curve. When it comes to like, when you start to finally embrace yourself, you're typically in your like, wanting us,

you really do come into your own, or in general, like in your early 20s and mid 20s. It's really, really messy too, because maybe you've had like your first love when you were in high school or in college. And then you realise that, hey, maybe even though I've been like in this pattern, or in this, like love for so, so long, I need to figure out who I am. And that's why so many people like break up, I suppose so many people start, you know, experimenting, I think that age between like your beginning to mid 20s is so incredibly messy, like what you said and just confused. So messy.

People are complex, like they have trauma, they have random shit that happens to them. And it's not like you can just like, throw yourself into an app and find your man or just like, go to a college to find your boy like No, it's not, it's never going to be like that. You have to, it's a process of unlearning, to relearn to find the person that will love you for processing the things that you had to like, let go. Yeah.

So we have some ideas about how we can get you into this new stage. And so do you have a dating profile? Currently?

I do. Like, I'm literally on all the apps. And I'm even on Raya.

So what's on your app, currently? What type of men? are you attracting with your profile?

Guys that just want more Instagram followers? I

feel like Do you have your socials on there?

I do. But I don't feel like men these days really want to settle down, especially with within my age Rome, like I feel like they are just kind of like, by being and they really don't want to like be the traditional or like,

so maybe do you go to these places that you can find men that have like interests? Like, for example, what's a cute place that you'd like to go visit that you can meet someone in person because technology feels like it's not really working for us?

Probably ladybird lake. It's like, where it's where people are not single paddleboarding. Like everybody goes there, like there's a bunch of hotties also Barton Springs, Barton Springs. Oh, I'm like, dang. Like people in this city. These show in body.

That's nice. That takes like three steps away from figuring it out later on. So do you go on to any solo dates

I have in the past have.

So one thing that I really loved doing was going to when I was single going to places by myself that I knew I liked because if I like them and other people are there, they're going to like him too. And we're going to have similar interests. But what I would do is I would literally just go post up at a bar like by myself or take myself at like a nice little date. So like picnic on the in the park or by Barton Springs. Take my little dog or grab like a nice book, blast some music and you literally attract these people like honey and bees like it's literally just good vibes equals good vibes. So that's

not mama. Okay, yeah, I Is this advice this is good,

your energy and the things that like you give out and you know, the more growth that you do with yourself while you're trying to find your person, you're ultimately going to find your literal soulmate. And it's because you became your own soulmate first. You can really do anything that you want, and find the person that wants to do them with you. So that's my two cents.

Beautiful. No, that was beautiful. I need to hear that.

Oh, that's good. That makes me happy. Well, these dating disasters, were hopefully well, they're a thing of the past and we might encounter some more in the future. But don't ever let them stop you from figuring out you know, who you are and your love and what the love is that you deserve. I had such a great time talking to you today getting to know each other on such deep levels. And having a good left to thank you so much for joining us on lovestruck daily, so before we head out, please let everyone know where they can find you online.

You can find me at John Gonzalez on Instagram and then on Tik Tok. I'm John solace. Jalen ZLAE z z two Z's on tick tock.

I can't wait to see what you keep doing on your tick tock

saw it was no you really inspired me to like just talk about what I've been through and I I'm I'm honoured I'm this this was a big honour for me. So thank you.

That was so much fun listening to his stories. If you have a love story to share any questions or thoughts send an email to lovestruck daily at frolic dot media and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. There are so many fun updates on there if you want to follow me. My Instagram and Tiktok are both my name je ne Naja belly Gian ima G A B E ll I and I do share fun updates on my life relationship advice, all that good stuff. I'm currently on a new show called also ashore on Paramount plus and Prime Video. If you want to check it out. There's lots of messy fun drama and relationships that pop up. So that's all started. Sure and Jeannie ISABELI can't wait to see you guys again. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein and our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are produced by Abigail Sackler with little scorpions studios. We are executive produced by frolic media. This is an I Heart Radio Podcast. wishing you all a very happily ever after. I'm in love with you with you. I'm in love with you