So hello, and welcome to the last talk on working, including love as part of the practice of being with challenges. Love in times of challenge. And I think that it's fair to say that when we have challenges, it's almost a definition of a challenge is that it preoccupies concerns us it affects us in some sometimes deep way. And it's easy then to that preoccupation to lose track of some of the important values and important capacities we have. And one of them is love. That sometimes some challenges, we get caught up in anger, and blame. And that can be a loop of anger, kind of triggers more anger, blame triggers, more reasons to blame, we could be caught up in fear. And that also can be a loop where fear evokes more fear. Fear gives rise to more fear thoughts, that produces more fear. There could be greed or ambition or there could be problem solving mind comes into mind. And the problem solving mind is so absorbed in itself, that it leaves out a lot of the background of who we are, that actually is there to support us and help us find a way find a solution. And so to take to pause long enough, so that more of who we are more of our resources and our capacities and can be present, as we're there with a challenge. So we're not the attention and the concerns haven't been narrowed or haven't been hijacked, or haven't been caught in loops, that are not so helpful. So one of the classic techniques for a wise life is to pause. And mindful pause can make all the difference in the world. So we're not kind of on automatic pilot. But we pause long enough to see where we have some choice. And one of the simple choices we can have, is to pause a little bit longer. And this technique of doing using three breaths, to ground ourselves, to interrupt the mind streams, to remind ourselves of what's important, is a valuable thing to do. And three breaths, hopefully, you almost always have time for three breaths. And if you don't feel like you have time for it, then really take a good look at the situation is, you know, the truck barreling down at you is the mountain lion. Growling is really some threat and danger that's immediate, or is it not? If not, then question whether you can't just pause for three breaths. And one way of supporting that maybe, is that to realize that love, that does take time. If love is important for you. It takes time for it to make time for it and make room for it. And even if it's not readily available, pause and maybe recognize that and pause and recognize is not present. But rec find out is it? How important is it for you? Is it important enough for you that you wish it was there that the wishing love was there is in fact the beginning of love. Provided the wish is soft is without expectation without demands without comparisons and judgments. Just a very simple wish. So if you can take the time to pause for three breaths, three breaths journey. And the simplest version of the three breaths journey is to simply stop and take three breaths mindfully presently and sometimes it busy life running around doing many things. That's where that's so powerful. That's to take the three breaths journey. Maybe you drive someplace, and then maybe you're going late a little bit, or you're a little bit tense around it. Before you get out of your car after it's parked. sit there quietly and take the three breaths journey. And now this busyness, the racing of the mind, might be then quieted, you might be reconnected yourself, just three breaths sometimes can, in the busy life can just kind of reset things, maybe not dramatically, but enough to make a difference. If you're standing in a line in a store, at three breaths journey, if you turn on your computer, to look at something, before you look, before you open the monitor, take a three breath journey. So that the, the momentum of stress the momentum of tension of desires with doing doesn't have the upper hand when you sit down to look at the computer. So you're ground yourself in something else, besides the momentum of the mind that's maybe been busy all day long. So So then, another variation of a three breath journey is to have the first first breath, just be a grounding in the breathing. The second one is to use the breath, maybe the exhale to relax and soften. And the third breath to ask the question, where's the love, where's love, or just say love. And sometimes in these three best journeys that can be helpful, if the breaths are a little bit deeper than usual longer than usual. And maybe it's a little bit hard to keep that up, you might come out of breath. But for three breaths, maybe you can do that. So the longer breath maybe, is grounding and connecting. But to ask the question, where's the love? And see what arises, it might that might be enough to reconnect you to it, it might be enough for you to realize that you think something is more important than love right now. And if that's the case, it's good to really know that, see that in yourself, wow. Am I pissed off at someone? And yes, certainly, that's more important than love. And if I give in to love now, or take the time to love during one breath, then I don't know. It's, I'm not following my responsibility, the need the requirements of the situation to be angry. To pause and see, that's what the mind is thinking and how it is, might give pause, give occasion to pause even more. Really, is that true? Is that really how I want to live my life? Where are some love? Can I be angry and have love at the same time? Maybe we can do it maybe then the anger takes is changes its nature to a very different form. Maybe it takes the hostility out of the anger. Maybe there's still fear when there's love, but with love, fear doesn't take the center stage is not the only game in town. Maybe what the love needs, is love it what the fear needs is some love. And that's often a good principle, that when there's fear, there's a need for love. Unless it's, you know, an imminent threat. With you know, if there's not an imminent threat, probably chronic anxiety, underlying fear that's going on for some time. Maybe it's more to do with reassuring the heart in some deep way. And you're sharing the fear, with love with care with kindness, with acceptance with generosity. So exactly what happens when you ask the question, where's the love will depend on the circumstances depend on you at different times. But it's a powerful question to ask. And to keep it in the forefront. Where's the love here? Where's the love in this challenge? Oh, I forgot that I care about this person. And, or, Oh,