Good morning, everyone. Good morning. Congratulations on making it here was a little adventure. For most of us. Today is April 28, Sunday, April 28, and teisho this morning, tentative title is grasping and aversion. When I think of that, my mind goes immediately to singing songs verses on the faith mind. It's one of the chants that we do during the week every week. I'm not sure how often we do it, but a bit begins the great way is not difficult for those who do not pick and choose when preferences are cast aside, the way Stan's clear and undisguised. It's really pretty good introduction to Zen practice. It echoes what the Buddha taught his first teaching, of course, most people know this. Don't think we talked about it in the workshop yesterday. And by the way, shout out to all the workshop people who made it here. Really glad to have you here. Hopefully, I'll say something different today than what I said yesterday. But the Buddha has started out with the Four Noble Truths. And most people know those. The first which we did mention is that suffering is pervasive or life is suffering, it's sometimes put a lot of other ways of getting at it. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle that kind of touches on a little bit. You can't always get what you want. But you get what you need. Life is life is unsatisfactory, it doesn't meet our demands. And the Buddha's Second Noble Truth is the cause of suffering. The reason why we suffer is our grasping at aversion. One way of putting it we're not okay with things as they are. We we fight against it, we want it to be better, which is not not wrong. But there's an emotional component to that there's a way that we shut down when we lock into how we think it should be. And that's the cause of our suffering.
The third noble truth is just that there is a way out that we can work with things. And then the fourth Noble Truth is the eightfold path, which I'm all of which I'm not going to list, but it ends with Deanna, which is a Sanskrit word for meditation, which was translated in Chinese to Chan, and in Japan to Zen. This is the final step in the eightfold path.
But I really want to focus on that second step. And that is grasping and aversion. Because not only is suffering pervasive, pervasive, grasping and aversion is pervasive, we, when you get to know yourself, when you begin to settle the mind, and see what's going on behind the curtain, you realize that you're constantly reacting, constantly wanting things to be different. They put on a brave face, but we're in there complaining a lot of the time. And so it's been it's a central truth of almost all religions, probably every single one. To let go of our demands, whether it's put a surrender to the Lord, or in the Bhagavad Gita, it's it's, they use the word, a pirate Graha. I don't know if I pronouncing that right. But it just means non grasping. And in the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna speaks to Arjuna sort of the hero of that, of that Gita that Scripture. He says to him, let your concern be with action alone, and never with the fruits of action. Do not let the results of action be your motive, and do not be attached to inaction. So it's hard to get out We're here to do the work. But we don't get to decide whether we meet with success or not. We don't have the power we think we have.
During the workshop, I told a little story which I tell almost every workshop and forgive me. But I want to go back to it again. This happened to me when I was 20 years old, walking in the woods with a friend and I pointed out a, a mushroom that I thought was particularly disgusting, growing out of the side of a tree. And I said, Oh, that's disgusting. And my friend piped right back, that well, Alan Watts would say, it's your mind. That's disgusting. John. And through the blessing of Allah through the grace of God, that that hit home, I said, Whoa, that is what's going on. That's it's me. It's not. It's just being a shelf mushroom. That's its job. And I'm in there. criticizing what is I don't know if I had it. So articulate. It just went, Oh. And so that set me off on my Zen career. I started reading Alan Watts and one thing led to another and next thing you know, I'm on a bus to Rochester, New York.
But that is that is the basic problem that we face in our lives. Whether we're Zen students or not, everybody faces this problem. And that is our reaction and our demands, gets in the way and mucks up what's really simple and straightforward. Our lives are given to us. They're where we have everything we need. Smell the rain, hear the birds
have somewhere to sleep, we get fed. We're always complaining. Worrying. There is like Heidegger said there's that anxiety quivering in the soul of man. And the cause of that is our grasping and are pushing away. In the Tibetan tradition, there is an instruction that was given by the Indian master Tai Lopa to his disciple Naropa. And Ty Lopez said, the mind is not bound by appearances. The mind is bound by grasping, own Eropa cut through grasping. Everybody gets the instruction to stay here stay in the moment. But what is it that carries us out of the moment, it's always that we're grasping at something and that something is going to have to come in the future because it's not here now. We're always a step ahead of ourselves, tripping over our own feet. Basically, we refuse to be happy, unless conditions change to suit us. When you when you come into practice, and you begin to look at this, the best thing you can do is to notice I remember way before I started practicing Zan, I used to occasionally find myself in a really rotten frame of mind, usually anxiety. And I just wondered, how did I get here? You know, where did where did this come from? And if I traced back my thoughts, I would find something that had come into the mind, which I didn't like, and I pushed it aside, and then it was just sort of bubbling in the background. And that's what life is like, for most of us. Got dissatisfaction bubbling in the background. So the first thing we need to do is to notice to see it when it arises. There's a there's a certain teacher who says when you have that bad feeling that's a compassionate alarm clock telling you you're lost in the dream. Dream of what should be going to read a little section from Joko Beck Most people are familiar with her if you've heard teisho Is that I've given because I've dipped into her teaching quite a bit. This is a little selection from the book, everyday Zen first her first book, which is really just a compilation of talks that she gave. She was a Zen teacher in San Diego, sanctioned to teach by maezumi Roshi of Los Angeles. And she went her own way, really an unusual teacher, but very well respected and for good reason. So JOCO says this, talking about attention, just awareness, knowing what's going on in the mind. She says, attention is the cutting burning sword. And our practice is to use that sword as much as we can see, none of us is very willing to use it. But when we do, even for a few minutes, some cutting and burning takes place. All practice aims to increase our ability to be attentive, not just Zen, but in every moment of our life. And that's a really good point, which is, Zen is not just about sitting on a mat. For some people, it's a big step to get beyond sitting on a mat here in the Zendo, and to establish a practice at home, but even that, you're not there yet what we're what everybody needs to do. What we all want to do, is to bring our mind of awareness to our whole life. That's how our life can change.
She says, As we sit, we grasp that our conceptual thought process is a fantasy. And the more we see this, the more our ability to pay attention to reality increases. One of the great Chinese masters one poll said, if you can only rid yourself of conceptual thought, you will have accomplished everything. But if you students of the way do not rid yourselves of conceptual thought in a flash, even though you strive for eon, after eon, you will never accomplish it. And she says, We quote rid ourselves of conceptual thought. When by persistent observation, we recognize the unreality of ourself that centered thoughts. Bowden Roshi is so fun to find of saying, they're just thoughts, there's nothing to them. It feels so real, don't they, especially if it's the auto ship variety. Like a body blow. That body blow happens, because we buy into them, we grasp them, or we fight them off, we have a version. Either way. We don't just see them as visitors that come into the mind and are quite happy to pass right through.
So she says, when we recognize the unreality of our self centered thoughts, then we can remain dispassionate and fundamentally unaffected by them. This does not mean to be a cold person. Rather, it means not to be caught and dragged around by circumstances. Most of us are not much like this. As soon as we get into our workday, we discover we're not calm at all. We have many emotional opinions and judgments about everything. And they're they're usually emotional opinions. They carry that charge. Our feelings are easily hurt.
Remember, looking at my resentments something I did. I was working with a sponsor and a looking at all the people I resented. And every single one was because somehow rather they had seen me at my worst. I had revealed my weakness to them and they'd seen it and not even that they made a comment. Just just by exposing myself I felt hurt. So much pride. So much investment in other people's opinions. She says we're by no means dispassionate and fundamentally unaffected by what is going on. So it's this burning out of thoughts by the fire of attention, so that our lives can be dispassionate and fundamentally unaffected by outward circumstances.
We could we could rephrase what no What Tilopa said, we could say the mind is not bound by outward appearances, the mind is bound by grasping.
She says, it's extremely important to remember that the main purpose of doings Zan is this burning out of thoughts by the fire of attention, so that our lives can be dispassionate and fundamentally unaffected by outward circumstances. I don't think there's anyone here of whom that is wholly true. A lot of people put teachers and others up on a pedestal and assume that they've got it all together. And to counter that there's a saying in Japan, which is somewhere, the Buddha is still working on himself. There is no limit to how deep we can go.
So she says, I don't think there's anyone here of whom that is wholly true, wholly unaffected by circumstances. Yeah. And our practice is to do that, if we truly accomplished this burning out of attachments, there would be no need need to sit. So that's good news. Get that done. Save a lot of leg pain. She says, but I don't think anyone can say that. We need an adequate daily period of Zen in which we attend to what's going on in our minds and bodies. If we don't sit regularly, then we can't comprehend that how we wash our car, or how we deal with our supervisor is absolutely our practice. Master Rinzai. This is Lin chi, this Chinese name, the basically the founder of the Rinzai School of Zen, one of the main schools, Master Rinzai said, we cannot solve past karma, except in relation to circumstances does he mean by solve past karma, we can't work through our habits. We can't cut through our delusions. We can't change our lives, except in relationship to what's in front of us. He says, when it is time to dress, let us put on our clothes. When we should take a walk, let us walk did not have a single thought in mind about searching for Buddhahood. So radical teaching, seems like if I'm a Zen student, I should be thinking about enlightenment and Buddhahood and making progress. And that's the way I motivate myself. But you're just you're just mucking up the gears just getting in the way.
The fact is, we're all ridiculous. We're just we're so emotionally reactive. And we just don't know it when you're when you're lost in thought, and even more. So when you're lost in strong emotion. You're lost, you're gone. You're not thinking about practice, you're completely taken up. Every now and then we get a little glimmer, you realize, oh, this doesn't feel good, what's going on. And you can recognize and then that, that changes things gradually, slowly. But it's amazing how people can do that make themselves miserable. Make people around them miserable and not even really know that the problem is not the mushroom growing out of the tree. The problem is their mind. We we were in France once. I think it was in 1989 round the bee Sultan air the 200 year anniversary of the French Revolution. It was amazing trip. And we did a little overnight from where we had been staying into burgundy. And a friend of ours came along she really really was psyched to go on this trip. Going to burgundy. It was something that she had wanted to do for a long time and she's there in the car with us and we were driving through the rain. It was kind of a misty, rainy day, and she was miserable. This this perfect vacation this perfect trip that she'd fantasized about was ruined by the rain. You know we have a picture of my wife took some pictures on the way and it's just some hills we are going by and there is Miss there. It's just a beautiful shot. It was beautiful. You know, everything was lush and green. smelled good. But yeah, yeah. And, of course, my trip would have been better if I wasn't complaining about her complaining wouldn't it? That's hard to do. That is hard. Something that the Sixth Patriarch of Zen Wei Nan Wei nung says, when others are wrong, I too am wrong
it's hard one two, it's a hard one to internalize somewhere you're grasping at how they should be how you wish they would not be
basically our job you could put it this way our job is to abandon hope. Stop wasting our time hoping things are gonna go in our direction do the work.
As Krishna said, Let your concern be with action alone and never with the fruits of action. Do not let the results of action be your motive and do not be attached to inaction. That means don't give up.
story that Anthony de Mello tells should be a drinking game where he take a drink every time I mentioned Anthony de Mello. So for people who haven't run into him yet, he's a Jesuit. He was a Jesuit priest, who also was a practitioner, he had some experience with Buddhist practice, was a pretty awake guy. Anyway, he said, this, says the first thing, admit that your life is a mess. And the second, this is a little tougher. Here it is. You don't want to get out of it. You do not want to get out of the mess. Talk to any psychologist who is worth his name, and he'll confirm that the last thing a client wants is a cure. He doesn't want a cure. He wants relief. Eric Bern, one of your great psychiatrists here in the United States, put it very graphically. He suggested you imagine a client who's up to his nose and a cesspool, okay. And he's coming to the doctor, and you know what he's saying to him? He's asking the doctor, could you help me? So people won't make waves? The client doesn't want to get out of the cesspool? No, no, no. Get out for heaven's sakes, no, just helped me so they won't make waves take care of all the mushrooms. So easy to miss this. And even when we know it, we keep missing it we fall into reactivity. But when we're unaware, when we don't see that reality is okay. Reality is what's real. The problem is our demands. We don't see that we spin our wheels are looking in the wrong place. People get stuck in practice. They feel I can't get anywhere. I've found myself in deeper states, but it's just not happening now. No matter how hard I try, but always there is holding on to that state they want to get into. It's like I got to picture how I'm going to be and that's going to make me that way. But it doesn't work that way. Just be as you are
the master Dogan said if you don't find truth net now and here, where will you find it? It's not a question of changing conditions. And then we'll fix things. Roshi Kapleau used to say everything is grist for the mill. The worst mood, the biggest defeat even the blackest depression. Something there we need to look at.
Really what we need to do is take an interest in the things we dread. Pay attention to those bodily feelings, those body feelings that you just don't want to have, you know, tightness in the chest or a little butterflies in the stomach or whatever it is. Don't run away from that. There's something interesting there. People you don't like you know you You run into that person that you've got some problems with, and the shutter has just come down almost immediately. It's, it's such a great practice, to just let that go the best you can, and see what's there. It's amazing. I've had this happen to me, because I have people I don't like, and you're afraid to be nice to them, because then I'm going to see more of this person.
But, but they become a different person, when you're nice to them. It's, it's, it's just, it's alarming how how dramatically shift can be. Yeah, give people a chance. Because the as you know, the way you treat other people is the way you treat yourself. And there are parts of yourself that you don't like. And when those parts come up, you do the same thing. And that doesn't help you at all, it doesn't. Notice what you don't like, and then notice your reactivity. And notice what a really lousy predictor you are, how many times if you thought this day is going to be really, really rough. And then somehow rather you get through it. You know, this task I have to do, it's miserable. Wake up in the morning and you don't want to get out of bed. It's just you're letting your thoughts you're letting your emotional wreck reactivity dictate how you live your life. So many people do this, and they end up limiting their lives. They end up settling for chasing after empty gratification and avoiding pain, even when it's meaningful.
want to read something from a psychiatrist? Psychologist? I'm not sure what his title is. One of the main founders, I guess you could say originators, of form of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy therapy, referred to sometimes as act. His name is Steve Hayes, Steven Hayes. See this article that was written in 2006. So at that time, he was 57 years old. So now he's Matthew 75. Still younger than me. So he had written a book before this interview called Get out of your mind and into your life, CO out co authored with Spencer Smith. And the news picked it up and there was a headline, there was a story run with a headline, Happiness isn't normal. And so the interviewer really wants to know about that. He asked him happiness isn't normal. Can you explain what that means? And Steven Hayes says, Well, that was the headline of the time peace. I don't exactly say it in the book. What I say is that pain is ubiquitous. And suffering is normal. By the way, he has been accused of stealing from Buddhism. Which, yeah, why wouldn't you? Yeah, to me, that's, that's just that's praise. That's not criticism. He says, if you ask people, are you happy? Many of them are going to say yes. But if you ask people is this really what you want your life to be about? Many more are going to say no. What people mean by happiness is feeling good. And there are many ways to feel good. And many of the ways we feel good actually limit the possibilities for living the way we want to live our lives. And the interviewer asks for an example. This is really a good one. He says, Steven Hayes says, suppose you've been betrayed in love. Now, the reasonable sensible thing to do is say, I'm not going to be that vulnerable again. But precisely the reason you loved to begin with was because you want it to be intimate, to be known to be connected. That's the reason it hurts so much. But because you don't want to be vulnerable. It prevents you from being connected and intimate, even if you're in a relationship. Now, when a person who is living in a relationship like that say they're happy. They might, but do they have the intimacy and connection they so badly want? No. We have to ask why it is that we have such issues of substance abuse and addiction, self control problems and even suicide. When most people are saying they're happy. It's because most people aren't living the ways they want to be living. And that comes from how they're managing their own pain. Doesn't say it but we understand. They're managing their pain through grasping and aversion. grasping at a drink, grasping at a distraction. pushing away the bad feeling, covering it up
he says what I would do with a client is to help them learn what their values are. And values require definitions because there's not a lot in the culture about values. But it's not a matter of redefinition, it's about changing the game, the normal game most of us are in is how to feel good. It's not the same thing as how to live good. We don't get good training and how to sit with pain anymore. We used to have spiritual traditions of fasting, where you didn't eat even though you were hungry in order to connect with the suffering of other people. And that's something we do around Thanksgiving every year, the week before, you're at the Center said most of those traditions are gone. Now, it's only the educated elite that says here in the Zendo, who go for 10 day silent meditation retreats, who get that kind of experience. In Western culture promotes feel good ism, in part as a side effect of having technology that makes everything easier or feel better. It's natural progress, so we don't have to do the sweaty, hard things our forebears had to do. But inside that is a metta message, which is that you're supposed to feel good from morning to night. I don't know if people remember the ads for some aspirin or painkiller I haven't got time for the pain will make time. You said add on top of that. commercialism and medications because they feed it too. If you consume the right products, eat the right pill, drink the right beer drive the right car, you believe that you're not going to feel anything you don't like? What I'm saying is that is not the definition of a meaningful life. And I'm saying people know it.
The question or asks, so if you were treating a person who had been hurt in love, and didn't want to be vulnerable again. And hey, Steve Hayes says, well, it could be that they make themselves invulnerable by not getting into relationships, or by being in promiscuous or empty relationships. You can be married and still not make yourself vulnerable. If you don't let your partner know what you most deeply care about. Don't show them where you hide what the dark places are. But your pain is where you find your values, that you really care about intimacy and connection. That's why it hurts so much. So if you run away from past thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations you don't like what we call experiential avoidance. You can't do what it is you most deeply want to do, in this case, to have those kinds of intimate relationships. So my questions are, can you hold your fear and still step forward? Even knowing that even knowing that you can be hurt? Real rationale for just do it. It's hard to practice then. There are a million reasons you can find to avoid it, because it is painful. Not always. Sometimes it's joyful. Sometimes it's both painful and joyful, believe it or not. But it's meaningful. We're doing something that changes us and changes other people changes our relationships.
Just waking up, wake up Don't let yourself be limited by your thoughts. Don't buy into them. I had a friend who once said I could pay my taxes if I had the right drugs. Anybody has ever had an envelope you don't want to open you don't want to see what's in it sits on the table for days. Finally open it after the deadline. It's just what is that what is that that's just being controlled by your fear of your own negativity. You can't cure that all at once. But that's that, you know we we see we have problem and then we want to get in there and fix it, we want to think our way through it. And that doesn't work. But what does work slowly but reliably, is opening the mind again, and again, seeing the insubstantial nature of thoughts and emotions, letting them come in, letting them go out. Every time we do that we weaken their power, we strengthen our own foundation
it's really, it's a privilege to be able to grow, to have a way that works for us. And, you know, speaking to the people who were at the workshop, you know, maybe Zen isn't the way for you. Now, even for people who haven't been to the workshop, maybe there's another way but we need to find a way and that way is always going to be opening and it's going to be awareness. Anything else diminishes us. Life is wide open, wide open, we just, we just failed to see it. To go back to the Hacohen chat with like one and water crying I thirst at the child of rich birth, wondering poor on this URL world.
All right, time is up. We're gonna stop now and recite the Four Vows
