Hey there party people. Welcome. Welcome back. The shit we need to talk about today is redefining. And even reevaluating, first maybe, our definition of and relationship with intense the word intense the action or the feeling the vibe of intense and intensity. And the reason is dominant culture, white supremacy, culture, capitalism, it is built on power force. And here's the thing, friends, it is causing so much. I was about to say disruption, but really just shit. Honestly. Now, you might say stuff, sometimes intense intensity is warranted, you're absolutely right. But not in the way that dominant culture says we should, right dominant culture wants us to be intense, and have intensity all the time, every moment of every day, every single day of every single month, every month out of the year, 365 days out of the year. Now the definition of intense and I googled it right is of extreme force degree or strength, having or showing strong feelings, or opinions, or extremely earnest are serious. And when it comes to being earnest, the definition here is resulting from or showing sincere and intense conviction. And for me, extremely earnest that feels very different from extreme force degree or strength. Now, this week, we had the community circle on Tuesday. And in case you missed it, that's our monthly group meditation. So mark your calendar for the next one, which is Tuesday, June 6, at 7:30pm, Eastern Time, 4:30pm Pacific Time. And something I brought up to the group was this idea of intense and intensity. And remember that or maybe you don't know, I don't know, I don't want to assume, but Western culture, right? In this Western culture, intense and intensity is basically what shows your level of commitment, or your level of determination, your focus, and also probability of success, let's be real. Right? Everywhere, whether it is in diet, culture, in working out in school, it's all about being intense, showing your strength, whether that is your physical strength, or your your mental strength, your ability to be disciplined. To be consistent, this is all very intense, and with intensity, right. But all of this is also what stands in our way of some connections, of grace, of compassion, of flexibility, of problem solving, in a way that doesn't come from being utterly frustrated. It stands in the way of creativity, and arrest and so many other things. And when I was talking about this in the community circle, I was talking about intensity in an intense in terms of a barrier to regularly practicing pranayama and meditation because that's what we were there to do in the community circle, right. And when I'm talking about a barrier to regularly practicing pranayama, and meditation that's in terms of, you know, just on a regular basis, practicing outside of when you need the practice for support or coping in the moment, right. So coming to the practice every morning or every night, you know, whenever you can carve out time, not in like a moment of feeling anxiety or frustration, that's when you need to come to your breathing practice, or when you you know, calm yourself down, but you're kind of in a rut of what you're thinking and where your thoughts are. And so you sit to meditate, right outside of that just any regular practice that you do. And the reason is the reason there's a barrier when it comes to intense and intensity when we're focusing on that is because both breathing pranayama and meditation both of these practices require a bit of spaciousness, a bit of openness, patience and softness when you come to them. And so I often hear from people, something along the lines of I know meditation is great, but it's not for me, right? I can't sit and focus on my breath. I can't quiet my thoughts. You know, full guessing on my breath feels like a waste of time. And it would be time better spent on doing something quote unquote productive. It's hard for me to just step away and you know, turn inward, it feels uncomfortable. And of course, it feels uncomfortable, absolutely feels uncomfortable, right? If you're not, if you're in the practice of gogo go of pushing of being of doing of constantly being connected, of course, being quiet, of tuning to your breath, would be uncomfortable. Of course, it will be because that's then when your thoughts are loudest and fastest is when you are not actively focusing on one thing, or multiple things at once. When you're not actively doing damage control, and all of the things. Think about it, if we are constantly intense, or doing with intensity as in force, pressure, tension, right? What does intensity be like? Think about something that you did today. And you did it intense intensely or with intensity, was there some sort of force present when there wasn't some sort of pressure present or tension present. Maybe it was like the theme of your morning, or your day, I don't know. But right. But when we are doing this all the time intensely with intensity, it's likely then that we won't have a relationship with spaciousness, openness, patience, and softness. And then it's going to become harder and harder to come to the practices of pranayama. And meditation or anything that is quiet, inward, focused or reflective. You're not going to be in the practice of it. And so it's going to feel very uncomfortable. And there's going to be a learning curve, and one that is quite large, depending on you know, who you are, what your circumstances are. And there's no shame like, this is not me judging you, this is me shining a light on what is and to show you, there's nothing wrong with you, right, it's a product of the system. But what's really awesome is that you don't have to just find your way on your own. There are lots of, you know, opportunities for support. It's, you know, the pranayama and meditation are often weaved into the holistic self care collective, which is my group mentorship program. And what is really beautiful is yoga philosophy offers us some practices to help us to kind of divest from intense intensity all the time. So the letting it now be kind of situational when we choose. And so yoga philosophy offers us to knee Yamas niyamas our ethical behaviors towards ourselves, there are tools for inner strength and self reflection that help us soften intensity and slow down a little bit, which I really feel these neon mamas that we're going to be talking about today, to be a really, excuse me wonderful bomb, to push, you know, to the push for intensity from dominant culture. Because that push for intensity, in my opinion, is really over the top, it's unnecessary, and honestly can be damaging. And here's the thing, if you are a bipoc person, right, if you are a black indigenous person of color, I can only speak from my experience. But you may have had a similar similar experience where you were taught, you know, you had to work twice as hard for half as much, you may have experienced that. You may be in a situation where you are constantly having to prove your worth and your value, your knowledge, your humanity, your you know, your right to be here safe and sound. I mean, so many things you may have to have had to provide for your family. For many, many years, you may have tons of responsibilities on your shoulders compared to other people who maybe don't hold your identity. So I understand that this can be a pretty sensitive topic. It could it's also very nuanced and very layered. So I want to be very clear that I'm not just talking about this surface level. And so I understand if this conversation on intensity may if you are a bipoc person may feel inaccessible. And I talk about this a lot with different aspects of self care that I offer, right? It may feel inaccessible to you may feel very extreme or far fetched. And you might be right. Right now, because here's the reality.
Are you feeling sustained and resourced? Right by running yourself under the ground, is it possible to maybe find a different way, where you're still doing what you need to do? You're still getting what you need. But without running yourself into the ground? Without, you know, completely just bypassing yourself? That's a question I have for you. And only you can answer that. I mean, I know for me personally, I've had to divest from, you know, work twice as hard for half as much like I can't, I haven't been able to sustain that I'm 41 years old. And I got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't, I had to figure out another way to attain success and also be able to pay the bills and do the things that I needed to, but in a resourced way. And you might not be there yet. And you may be at a different place in your journey. And that's fine, right. So I just wanted to, to underscore this, to ensure that you didn't feel alienated and alienated, if that's where you're coming from. But regarding the neon mus The first one we'll talk about is tapas, which is fire discipline, fiery discipline. And the second one is mighty Aya, which is self study and self reflection. Now top boss, this fiery discipline, it also translates to blaze to burn to shine. So this may come about in a feeling of heat, which is the discomfort that is part of breaking habitual thoughts and behaviors that aren't serving you for ones that will promote the transformation that you wish to have. Right. So it's one thing to, you know, want to shift want to achieve certain things, you know, change things up, it's another thing to actually come to the practice and come to the doing of it right and sometimes we've got to sit in the heat a little bit. It's also practice through devotion doing for yourself and for others what you know, you need to for true support, rather than simply sitting you know, doing what's comfortable and habitual. This might also be through work without selfish motive in terms of continuing right of you doing the work you need to do in the world. And, you know, furthering your career furthering, you know, attaining status, whatever it is that you want, but making sure that is not at the expense of others, especially those who are already oppressed, and whose identities are more marginalized than yours. It's this practice is also in the development of strength in body, mind and character doing what's hard because you know, it's worth it. And also tapas helps us to gain courage, wisdom, integrity, straightforwardness, and simplicity. And so how can we simplify things for ourselves? How can we be more straightforward, rather than, you know, beating around the bush or procrastinating or, you know, taking a lot of time just kind of flitting from this, to that, to this and that, but really just being grounded and centered and focused. And one resource that I use a lot for yoga philosophy and just teachings about self awareness and community and communal living, is the book skill and action from Michelle Michelle, Cassandra Johnson, and this is, I'm going to quote from the second edition, Michelle writes, quote, to create a just world one needs perseverance and passion to generate new ways of being. And so from a social justice aspect, she offers these questions, what sets your heart on fire as you engage in the practice of creating a just world? What minimizes your passion or fire to create new and more liberatory ways of being? What fuels your passionate fire as you strive to create new and more liberatory ways of being? And I think that these are really wonderful reflection questions to sit with. Because it uncovers right a new way of being intense. Without that push, go, go go but that also centers your well being and the well being of others. Pretty cool right? Now the next Niyama that I'm offering today is Vidalia, which is self study self reflection. Michelle, Cassandra Johnson in the second edition of skill and action also offers the definition, absorbing spiritual wisdom and non judgmental self observation because friends remember, in order to be able to find a better way forward or achieve the things that we want to achieve, that's different from what we've ever done before. We have to be able to really be aware of what the hell what it is that we're doing, how we're showing up and what needs to change what's not working. And we have to be able to do this without judgment. That's key, right and zero criticism just notice what is even the hard stuff right and we also be have to be able to notice what is great without judging that either because sometimes we self sabotage And we need to stop doing that shit. And so when it comes to svadhyaya, self study self reflection, absorbing spiritual wisdom, non judgmental, so it's also self observation. Michele Cassandra Johnson writes, this practice allows one to see themselves more clearly and to connect with the divine within, which will allow them to see the divine spark that exists in all beings, right? So it lessens the divide between us as humans. And so some of the teachings within this philosophy is there's a beginning but no end to knowledge about ourselves about others, and the world we live in. So we can always be learning and unlearning this might be practice through an adoration for Lord God's or humanity. And it's also a practice of noticing what is which for me, right? If we are really noticing what is and we are non judgmental about it, then this is in practice the opposite of spiritually bypassing, and gaslighting two things that we really need to stop doing, right? We need to stop doing this because we allow society to condition us in a way where then we bypass ourselves. And we also gaslight ourselves, Michelle also offers us these points of reflection, in terms of using this for social justice. Why is it important to raise consciousness about systems of dominance, power and oppression? What feels important about inner work as we try to create our change? What triggers grab you the most when you are in conversations about power and oppression across lines of difference? And what about when you share conversations with those who have the same identities? What is your default behavior when you experience being emotionally or mentally triggered, or grabbed, and what would ground you or allow you to feel resourced in moments when you are working across differences and you feel triggered or grabbed? And so oftentimes, you know, our responses to things are with intensity, especially when we have an emotional connection, where we are having a visceral response. But what if you were able to notice that about yourself and instead of react with it, or bypass it or gaslight yourself and say, No, I shouldn't be feeling this way? What have you honored it, but then we're able to figure out a calm way forward, that allows you to express yourself that allows you to connect with the person across lines of difference or across similarity lines, and have a conversation or maybe decide you want to disengage, but in a way that doesn't affect you, in terms of stealing your joy stealing your piece. So the question I have to you for you still is what if you reevaluate it and redefine your relationship with intense and intensity. This is also really important because we're in the fourth month or fifth month, I should say fifth month, because we're in May 5 at 12 months. So we need to be sustainable in our practices and sustained for the rest of the year. So less intense, may be noticing when you're pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, and just backing off a little bit, just a little bit. Maybe it's taking your foot off the gas for just a little bit of a slower pace. Maybe it is honoring the fact that maybe you don't want to move very fast right now. So not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. So much, maybe with words that are not kind, right. Maybe you begin to reevaluate rest practices. We've talked a lot about seven types of rest, physical, emotional, mental, social, spiritual, as well as sensory rest. What if you begin to leverage those practices as a way to soften intensity? Because here's the thing, friends, I'm not telling you don't be strong, don't be focused, don't you know, don't be earnest or, you know, don't be, you know, very passionate about something. That's not what I'm saying. But this extreme I'm talking about this extreme that dominant culture has us in is what is not serving us and what is really leading to and perpetuating burnout is what is leading, leaving us unwell and disconnected from ourselves and one another.
And so I encourage you to consider this. What if you redesigned redefined intensity and intense what might that look like? How could you maybe look at what you did today that was really intense and a little over the top and maybe adjust next time. In case you're looking for more guidance on this or any spring practices, there's still time to join the spring sanctuary for this Sunday, May 7 From one to 4pm Eastern time. 10am To 1pm Pacific and you can register for that at Steff gallante.com/ Spring and always stay connected my friends there's always something coming up that you can connect with me in real time via zoom. And like I said the next community circle is coming up in June. So I hope to see you please stay connected. Please be kind to yourself just as you would those who are most precious to you whether that's a human animal baby or a plant and you know I always love to hear from you. Regarding your thoughts about the support and the guidance the questions that are offered, please feel free to reach out to me and share them and if you've been loving the show, I encourage you to please share it with your nearest and dearest and also leave a review or a rating above all my friends remember you are a badass and you are enough now go be your favorite self and be well
