Hey friends, you're tuned in to the learn or be learn podcast a show where wisdom meets curiosity in order to discover the human experience. I'm your host, Shiva D. And remember, you either learn from or you learn from. Now, let's get back to the show.
Alright, friends, welcome back to another great episode on the Enlightened Nomad series. This is a monologue episode. And without further ado, let's just jump right into today's topic. Today's topic is about how your network is your net worth. And I'm sure many of you have heard of that before. And I kind of just want to dive into it because this couldn't be any closer to the truth than it already is. Right? So there is such a value in people that we may or may not understand. On a personal and professional level. I saw this lecture by Simon Sinek. He's a great entrepreneur. And he showed us this graph about how companies would rather higher, medium to even low performing individuals if they have high trust, versus a high performer with low trust. So what does this tell us about society or culture? People? Right? human connection? What does this tell us? You know, from an anthropology perspective, my mind goes straight to the idea that we are tribal, right? So we look for people and trust is more important than performance. And I think we can all agree because if a level of trust is gone in a relationship of any kind, you start to question what's left in that relationship. And trust is very difficult to reconstruct once it's deconstructed. You know, I wanted to jump into this idea of the power of networking. And I think networking gets a bad rep. Because many people think it's quantity over quality. If you go to a conference and you meet only four people, you might as well make sure they're for genuine connections, right? You know, Warren Buffett says this all the time, in investing, he says, You, if you were only allowed to make five investments your whole life, you would make sure those are really good options before you jumped in it. And I think most people operate in this scarcity mindset that I need to jump into this next investment. And they might have FOMO, right fear of missing out on it. So I think in the same way, you know, maybe people attack, the idea of getting acquainted with people in the same manner. From my personal experience, I go for quality over quantity, even at this last podcast conference, I went to, I may have only met, personally reached out and met, maybe four to five people. But three of them were very pivotal, and got me into rooms of much larger, well known and established individuals. So it really mattered on developing those relationships. Right. So one person I met was the assistant director of the whole program, which happened, he just just happened to be sitting at the bar. And I was walking around, and I happen to just come by, and I started having a chat with him. And you know, next thing, you know, we're kicking it off. He's asking about my podcast goals, this and that. He really liked our energy. And he goes, You know what, I have to head out. Obviously, he's very busy with the conference and everything. But he said, let me introduce you to this group of people I think you'd you resonate with, and he dropped me off. Because I told them, I was by myself. Many people go with somebody else and groups and friends. And this was my first or second conference at the time. And I told them, No, I just came to Orlando by myself. I'm just here to meet people, and learn and grow. And he's like, Okay, let me drop you into this group. And next thing, you know, I meet a lot of great people. They're connecting me with people. And it's and this that people want to connect you with other people if they think that you have value to bring to other people as well. So I think that's very important because we, you don't want to be known as that guy. That's the middleman. I've met people like that before that only connect others to other people, and that's what they're known for. And then it's hard to get out of that kind of position. Because you look like the sleazy car salesman. Like oh, what does he want? What does she want, right? And they know that you're just here to like, run down names and move on to the next person. And humans have a very intuitive sense in judging nonverbals. So one of them being genuineness, I think is something that can't be well defined, but it's very nonverbal. You know, it probably stems from things such as slow demeanor, asking questions, not cutting them off, right, there's a lot of nonverbals, I believe, go into this idea of where we can make very quick judgments on somebody's intent. And that I think that's the power of one power of networking is to meet people. Sorry, I think I went on a little, little bit of a tangent there. But, you know, bringing it round to the idea of power of networking, it's so important, especially if you do genuine networking, it can be so crucial, right? The idea of quality over quantity, quality over quantity. And I can't emphasize that enough. Because in my life, I've noticed this is an idea. I've dabbled a lot and thought about, which is energy takers versus energy givers. And I've really, I really have thought about this idea a lot. Because when you leave an interaction, some people leave you feeling energized, and others leave you feeling drained. And that's because there's two types of people, right, there are people that uplift you, that want to hear about your goals that motivate you, or more so inspire you. And then there's other people that share their problems and only one, you know, you to help them. And that can be difficult. Because especially if you, for those of you that are givers out there understand it can be very draining when you're helping everybody else, because then you leave a little time for yourself. So identifying these energy takers versus givers I think is very crucial, and perhaps maybe another episode worthy topic. But going back to this idea of networking, I think it's very crucial. You put yourself in spaces where you want to grow, wherever that is whether that's well the health relationships, for example, podcast space, I go to a lot of conferences, a lot of networking opportunities, I meet people, some have led nowhere others have taken me places I wouldn't have even imagined. So it's a little things right, you just got to keep trying. And not just the podcast space. I've also, you know, I think I've mentioned this a few times is the up Level Mastermind organization. We've had a few masterminds over the years, I'm on the board of directors, and we talk about health, wealth and relationships and particularly wealth. Because I think that's a topic of everybody's interests. My specialty is often in health, very good with people in connection. So I guess relationships as well. And wealth is the pillar I'm working on so much like many of others. Might much like many others in the group are learning from those that are already financially free. You know, multimillionaires, things like that. So there's a lot of room for growth in that realm, where I've put myself in a room of people that I want to grow from, right, grow with growth from growth through. And I can't stress that enough that it's very important that you find positive network of people. So whether it's health and you join a martial arts, I know some people that like to go into kendo brews Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. So many martial arts, you can find so much discipline, right? You look, you look for people with similar values and interests. And then that's a great place to start, whether and another beautiful byproduct of that is you make friends, you build meaningful connections, and you increase the serendipity and beautifulness of the dance of life. And what I mean by that is, I like to talk about how life is like a dance, it's not a journey of start to finish. Because there is no start to finish. If you think about it, you're not guaranteed another day, you're not guaranteed tomorrow. So if you lived every day, in that philosophy, you would find yourself living in dance rather than a hustle culture. Start to Finish type mindset, right? And, you know, I understand we get caught up on the day to day so this can be difficult at times. But what I'm getting to is this idea of people lose important. Learning who energy givers and takers are so important and then positioning yourself in communities of like minded mindset and value similar individuals, Gary Vaynerchuk mentions this all the time, micro speed, macro patience, because in the long run, you need some patience. But in the short run, you need speed, right? If you
can apply all these things to understanding individuals, then you'll find yourself getting opportunities presented to you that you may not have otherwise, I met a very good friend who's a serial entrepreneur. And his company is about to receive, you know, seed a funding and the company is going pretty big. And he took a huge interest to my podcast and the idea of it and didn't really talk, he asked a lot of questions about it, but we, it wasn't my intention to network, but it was more so finding genuine connection. And then he got me in touch with some LinkedIn experts on marketing and things like that. And, and that's just how it works, right? When you take an interest in someone they feel as though they will want to take an interest in you. So I'm going to leave you guys with a couple of tips here on what's worked for me in terms of building genuine connections. I really don't like this word networking, because I think it gets a bad rap of what it really is. So perhaps I'll call it genuine connection building. But here's a few tips. Obviously, as I mentioned before, Tip one have a genuine interest in people. So talk less, listen more. I love this, quote, active listeners listen to what is said. But genuine listeners listen to what is not said. And that's something I apply in my guests episodes, right, you might see it from time to time is in an active listener will listen to what's said and then respond immediately. But a genuine listener will listen, understand, reflect, look for connections, and then paraphrase and expand. That's your response is paraphrasing and expansion. So for example, someone might say, Yeah, you know, my upbringing, I worked really hard. And, you know, I was always looking for somebody to support me, and tell me that I did a good job, but I never found it. So that's kind of how I developed my success mindset. And then you might say, it sounds like they grew up without a lack of support system, perhaps from their family and friends is where they were looking for it in particular. So then you might follow up and say, Oh, that's very interesting, yada, yada, yada. What was your relationship? Like with your family? Were they very busy? What was that like? And then you might catch them off guard. That's, that's very interesting. You know, not many people asked me that, or, you know, this is very off the top example off my head. But you understand what I'm getting at is genuine listening is connecting dots, and then paraphrasing, and expanding on the points that were said, right. So having a genuine interest in people, huge, huge bonus when it comes to networking, too, to remember their names. I think Dale Carnegie said this best in either Seven Habits of Highly Effective People or something like that one of his books he had mentioned, people love their names. And I actually had a conversation with somebody at a podcast conference about it. And they thought it was kind of cheesy to say somebody's names, but I said no, I say it all the time. And I told them that I said, I say people's names all the time. One, it helps me remember, because if I say it just once I'll forget. But if I say it several times throughout the day, or a couple days at the conference, when I see them, it's way easier to remember their name, too. People. Listen to me more when I remember their names. I've noticed there is this guy named Seth at one conference. And he was on the other side of the the US on the other side of the hotel lobby. And he was heading out and I had a quick question to ask him regarding something we had talked about. And if I didn't know his name, he would have left and I never would have gone to ask because we never exchanged contacts or anything. But I remembered his name. So I went Hey, Seth. And he turned around. And when you think about it, right? Most people remember, most people that remember your name are often very close to you. So when somebody remembers your name, it almost feels as though they're close to you already. Right? And I don't even think he remember my name. But that was the power of my remembering his name. And he is act he was he looked like he was in such a rush. But he stopped in the middle like fast walking. He was almost sprinting at this point throughout the lobby. And he stopped and looked at me and he said yes, what can I help you? You know, because I remembered his I put in enough effort To remember his name in order to ask a question, right. So remembering names, I think it's very crucial. Three. You don't want to act like the smartest person in the room. You may be may not be, but you never want to act like it. And I think this kind of reiterates off of point one where he should talk less and listen more. I've often noticed the smartest people that have the most knowledge, don't speak as much. And I actually do practice this a lot in my life, which is ironic, and you may not. It's ironic because I run a podcast, so you hear me talking all the time. But in genuine in daily interactions, I actually don't speak very much, or as much as others I would say, at the very least. So I try to absorb, listen, understand, connect with people. And I think that's helped me. And then for the sounds wrong, but it's the best way I can put it is making someone else feel like they're the most important person. And that comes from genuine listening, and asking questions, remembering their name, that will leave an impression on somebody. And they'll make them remember you. Because people don't remember what it said they remember what they felt. Think about it, think about somebody that left an impression on you. Was it what they said? Or was it how they made you feel? Right? And oftentimes, it's how they made you feel, because we don't remember every word that that person said, Maybe we remember a compliment here and there. And that made us feel good. But ultimately, it's still the feeling that it was not the words themselves, right? Because you could give a compliment in a monotone voice and in this genuine voice, and they wouldn't believe you. So it really is the tonality, the intent, making that person feel something and people as humans. Remember, emotional triggers more than actual words. Right? So there's that guys. So, you know, networking, super important. I hope you guys got a couple things out of this. I try to keep these monologue episodes a little bit shorter. I'd love some feedback, whether I should make them a little longer. What are you thinking? I'm trying to build a community here. So it's easier to get more feedback from you all. And I really appreciate you guys listening to this. And I'm looking forward to growing season two. And don't worry, video podcasts are coming along the way once I return home. I have been on travel for last few months, and we'll continue for the next couple months or so. So, you know, until then we're sticking to audio or grow and grow in the show. Everything's going good. Everything's on track. So thank you all for your support. And you know, please share this with someone that might benefit from the idea of learning how to build genuine connections with others to get forward in life. So anyways, thank you all for listening. And remember everybody you either learn from or you're to learn from. Thanks. Bye