what I think is really positive is for parents to understand that all these lessons that we are trying to teach our kids are futile unless there's connection, because so many of us are so emphatic about the lessons that we're teaching that we fail to remember that there's a human on the other side of this equation. And we are so insistent on things being done our way that the other person who's on the other end of the equation doesn't have a chance to actually counsel with us. Instead, they come to us and say, I'm thinking about, you know, not playing competitive soccer next year. And our immediate response becomes one of fear. If we have done competitive sports in our family. And instead of saying to the child, really tell me a little bit about what you're thinking what's happening for you, and allowing the child to verbalize in a type of counsel or meeting with us, we immediately jump to directing what the child should do, telling them exactly how they should do it, why they should do it, or shouldn't do it. And instead, the child makes a decision from fear instead of from wisdom or love.